The Rolling Rock Bock BorderThe Rolling Rock Bock Border

The Rolling Rock Bock Border on the West wall of Club Habel was an idea taken from an episode of one of those remodeling shows entitled “How To Junk-Up Your Parent’s Basement and Turn It Into A Nightclub.” How we acquired the border is an interesting story. It was the Spring of 1993 and Thom (a Club Habel V.I.P. Cardholder) somehow knew a guy who ran a liquor store. This guy wanted to clear out his stock of Rolling Rock Bock because it was not selling well and asked Thom if he’d be interested in buying it. Thom asked how much and the guy stated $10.00 per case and he had about 3 cases. Even at the (continued)

The Rolling Rock Bock Border (part 2)The Rolling Rock Bock Border (part 2)young age of 21, Thom’s accounting powers were starting to emerge. Using his knowledge of numbers and other numerical knowledge, he used to following calculation and figured :

3 cases of beer @ $10.00 per case specialty seasonal beer taste + the getting drunk coefficient “Д = damn good deal.

When Thom was given this option to purchase the beer, he paged John who was at UMBC taking an exam. Roughly two minutes after being paged, John was paged again, but this time with a 911, 911, 911. John stepped out of the exam to call Thom to find out what was wrong. Instead, John found out what was right. Thom relayed the message and we agreed to purchase the beer. Roughly two minutes of hanging up with Thom, he paged John again with 911’s and upon returning the call said to John that his “hook -up” had found another 2 cases of this premium beer. SOLD! (next)

3 cases of beer @ $10.00 per case specialty seasonal beer taste + the getting drunk coefficient “Д = damn good deal.

The Rolling Rock Bock Border (part 3)The Rolling Rock Bock Border (part 3)This time before hanging up, Thom asked “if this guy finds any more cases, should I buy them?” We agreed yes and that we all would pitch in to reimburse because hell, we were all broke ass students. By the time John finished his exam and called Thom to check the status of our purchase, Thom & his connection managed to unearth 9 cases of beer. They were stacked on the floor and against the wall of Club Habel. But wait, there’s a mathematical computation that Thom the Accountant forgot to calculate :

Rolling Rock Bock is an acquired taste and after about the third or fourth case, we acquired the taste. Note: it is no longer being sold.

Unheard of beer† Store owner unable to sell it £ ƒ shitty taste § expired date every 9th beer ± explodes for no reason causing red beer stains and eternal stickiness which worth it.

A Lost Treasure - Found!A Lost Treasure - Found!I forgot that this even existed. What we have is an authentic, personalized Steve Stinnett bottle opener. You know how when you go to a bar, you can sometimes purchase your own mug?

Steve is the only person in the history of beer drinking that purchased his own bottle opener. Now, you may be asking yourself, “that’s great for bottle beer, but what about when you wanted a draft beer?” Club Habel did in fact have their own line of personal beer drinking mugs that were available only to V.I.P members. Here are a few of your choices as a V.I.P. member...

Your Mug SelectionYour Mug Selection

THE

NIP

SIPPER

BOTTOMS

UP

CAN

YOU

HANDLE

IT

THE

SWISS

ARMY

MUGNOTE: CONVERTS FROM MUG TO CRACK PIPE.

The BarThe Bar

The bar came in two versions: unlit (above) and lit (right). There were a total of four lights: lamp hanging from left wall (unlit), twohobo’s with red lit noses, and a fully functional 1980’s era vintage Coca-Cola sign. Lights not used often due to potential fire hazard.

Drunken Tales, Slurs, and MisquotesDrunken Tales, Slurs, and MisquotesHow many times have you thought to yourself, “What the hell did they say last night? I know someone said something incredibly stupid, but I just can’t remember what it was.” Well, Club Habel had its share of confusing conversations, drunken debates, twisted tales, sloshed slurs, and mangled misquotes. Too bad we don’t have any record of the way we mangled the English language... or do we??? And what’s the deal with that brown cabinet??? I have to admit, I wasn’t expecting to find what I uncovered when I opened the doors, but this was probably the single best unexpected find on my archaeological dig of Club Habel. Does it ring a bell??

Proof! -- That We Were TrashedProof! -- That We Were TrashedHere’s the inside of that cabinet door...

Documented proof of our own drunken slurs. Each time we messed up while we were talking, one of us was always gracious enough to write it down. Having trouble reading them? That’s o.k. On the next few slides I used my Drunk to English translator. Also, the left picture shows a fifth sticky note on the far right of the door. It had a list of phone numbers we frequently called to leave drunken, obnoxious, and/or obscene voice mail messages on.

Here’s a Few KeepersHere’s a Few Keepers

Thom loves an “after minner dint.”

(Documented by John)

Thom becomes psychic & foresees a health concern of his- “my (his) chest is about to hurt.”

If you call Steve when he’s drunk, he’ll tell you to - “give me (him) a wake up call in 5 minutes.” Yeah, that extra 5 minutes is really gonna help. (Documented by John)

When it’s time to work out, Thom makes it clear- “let me carry my gig (gym) bag.”

(Documented by Schwaab)

And Who Could Forget These!And Who Could Forget These!Who knows what the frig Schwaab was talking about when he garbled out his mouth - “Let me pop this in and she how it says.”

(Documented by Schwaab himself)

The excitement of John’s pager going off was more than he could handle so he got straight to the point and told everyone that - “I got a voicemail on my message.”

(Documented by Schwaab)

And Here’s a Few We’d Like To ForgetAnd Here’s a Few We’d Like To ForgetAlthough these are impossible to read, I still wanted to include them as proof of our drunkenness. I considered going over the words in a darker pen before scanning, but I did not want to ruin the integrity of the note. So instead, I’m just going to write down what the slur was. These are bad.

Top quote - “I’m taking it off layers of my nail.” We must have been deep into the case for that one.

Middle quote - “I wouldn’t leave you in a ruh, roh, room alone with him.” This ones understandable because “room” is a big word.

Bottom quote - While talking about having to take an exam someone said “makerus takerus.” The Drunk to English translation is “make us take our exam.” I’m sure that exam was failed.