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The Lame Monkey Manifesto
The Lame Monkey HIOl1JJvLl
Begins a Second Ye by Resolving Never Say That Phil Jack Ed
Jerry amp Johnny Share Closets
January 4 1988
Happy New YearGimpy
- Whos Got the Logic
Instructor Evaluations Fall 1987
Win A Date With Johnny Majors
The Manifesto
The Lame Manifesto January 4 1988 Page 2
A Lettuh from do Edituh The Manifesto It is now the one year anniversary of
The Lame Monkey and we hope you have enjoyed us thus far Below is reprinted our statement of purpose from issue 1 I feel it ~still holds true You be the judge Thanks to all-readers advertisers and most importantly helpers-Eds A Manifesto is a published staJeshy
ment of purpose Its true that the ~meMonkey Manifesto fits this deshyscription vaguely at best Below we have published our reasons for exisshytance and we shall repeat them at the most from time to time However the title of the this paper shall retain its
Manifesto simply because it is far ingly silly name The -Lame Monkey more colorful than Times Journal or Manifesto is a definite underlying certainly Beacon and also because the profundity Let us explain publishers (us) happen to like it So The monkey is a symbol for the there overriding tone which the paper em-
If we must justify the rest of the bodies It is at once curious intellishytitle let us first state that this paper gent and humorous just as we strive was named as so many publications to make the material in the The Lame businesses and babies are these days Monkey Curious in that it-is quesshyThat is by the looking through a dic- tion raising and muck-raking intelshytionary and a thesaurus simultane- ligent in that it is informed and edushyously and pulling ou t exotic terms for ca ted and humorous in that it is not mundane things only funny and entertaining but also
If we must still proceed we may bears the indirect weapon of satire say that hidden beneath the seem- which helps to make up for the disad-
------- - --- ----A Statement of Purpose 1 Our first and foremost purpose
is to provide a source of entertail1shyment Our initial conception was that of a students dream-an extended funnies page engulfing an entire paper We are going to maintain a lighttone with the paper selecting the best humor writing submitted inshycluding comics and cartoons and sticking in anything else that we can get our hands on that is generally offshythe-wall and still relatively legal
2 Secondly we are providing a student forum We hope that the pages-of this paper will become a ring
wherein various campus factions will collide in many a blood-drawing litershyary battle We will do our best to pit liberal against conservative student against faculty engineer against artshyist religious organization against reshyligious organization and malcontent against the lJTfM administration We will invite all responsible conflicting comments
3 Thirdly we are providing an alshyternative source of campus related inshyformation We intend to provide the results of a student evaluations of inshystructors each quarter Also here you
Lettuhs to do Edituh DEAR PROPHET
1 ~
Prophet _ Sorry to beat on a dead horse I
read your letter recalled Doug Collins a~ticle [Se~ LM 1-5] got steamed and wrote this then saw Doug had pretty well addressed this issue in thisthat issue I cant let il good rant go to waste though
Look Ive about had it altogether with new age Christianity Yammer_ yaIl)Iller yammer God God God I think Ive something of an idea about how you regard your God and your relationship with Him as Ive spent a lot of time cha tting with Christian folk as devoutandmiddotdedtcated as your letter indicates you to be Well what of it Those are my credentials as an Unbeshyliever thats all as someone who wants~othing to do with Him (yes I capitalize for thats the grammatishycally done thing) but who has at least looked at what His folk offer My biggest beef my butt steak so to speak wi~ King Hoo-Hoo up there iuna big sky is one of the things you like about Him and its that which you so oh-the-error-of-his-ways -ly pointed out to Doug God gave us the choice between good arid evil IU say it again God lets us choose for our very own selves whether we do good or whether we do evil We can with but a simple opening of our hearts acknowledge Jesus Christ as our savshyior and He will enterinto us that we may be sav~ Its not an easy thing to d~~ nor is it easy to follow in Christs
footsteps however with the grace that He grants us in accepting Him we can live a Godly life But its our choice see He doesnt force us to love Him The vindictive shit He might as well have forced us How in this world or out of it can anyone accept a one or zero proposition like that Love me or rot in hell forever and a dayHell feel sorry for those of us consumed by never-consuming fire bu f after all he gave us a chance I feel no gratitude to Him for giving Q1e this wonderful freedom of choosing beshytween two things as if good and evil on and off yes and no were all there is to lifeafterlife Do you still beat your wife Yes or No America love it or leave it Death to all fanatics There are absolutely no absolutes You cant add apples and oranges Does a dog have a Buddha nature How do you feel about a professor who grades you onthe based on hisher granting you a choice between sleeping with him her or failing the class I dont go for propositions that are all-or-nothing and certainly not the carrot-on-theshyend-of-a-stick-with-a-whip-behind proposition And theres no way in Helltmdyes I do mean that literally thatJll respect anyone who forces me to make that choice who -presents such a choiCe as though it were given me for my benefit As Patti Smith so stunningly put~t Jesus dies formiddot somebodys sins but not mine
[signed] The Terrorist
may read about all of those obscure things that are happening on campus that you are probably interested in but cant find out anything about (provided someone submits someshything about them)
4 Another purpose of this paper is to abolish studentapathy We believe that a university is a place for more than books and stuffy profs College students should be involved in a wide variety of activities We would like to see things happening at UT besides church ice-cream sprees and intershydorm bowling leagues and we are
DEARJIT
Dear Jit I know that my nomination for
Jits Next Victim is the only logical choice Sean Miller (otherwise known as the Rugby Player from Hell)
It may piss him off but hey if he asks any questions-send them to me (Ill keep him in line)
Thank you for your support Elizabeth ps While you are victimizing
Sean please destroy his red Mazda RX7 as well
FACTSHEET FIVE
[The following is a reprint of the review TLM recently received in Factsheet Five (24) the national underground publication directory]
The Lame Monkey Manifesto Vol1 5 ($1 from PO Box 8763 Knshyoxville TN 37996-48(0) Its a relief to see a college tabloid thats supported neither by the administration or Joe Coors Yes this is an underground paper and though they do publish somemiddot miscellaneous humor and stoshyries they also publish the sort of things that make undergrounds great- things like unofficial class evaluations and ideas of screwing up the parking ticket system This could almost make going to the U ofTennesshyseebear~ble
vantages of being Lame Yes the Monkey is lame in that
there are certain constraints placed upon it that arise from the fact that many of the things that the paper is trying to do are frowned upon by greater authorities such as the lJTfM Overlords and Student Apathy our two deadliest poisons Thus the Monkey is not capable of directlyshyconfronting its adversaries and is therefore lame in a sense
The name of the paper properly explained we continue with our statement of purpose
going to do what little we can to stir things up around here
5 Lastly we hope that Tle Lame Monkey will provide a lever for the seemingly powerless UT student body We place in the hands of the UT students what forces publishing may offer that perhaps they may see to it that changes are made in their Unishyversity and environment to better suit them
( If you would like to contribute material of any type call or write Numbers in credit box on this page)
Enjoy (January 1987)
UPSET
Why dont you take your godshydamn paper and shove it up your ass No one want to read your commie ramblings anyway Why dont all of you get jobs and do something conshystructi ve instead of printing this kind of shit
[unsigned]
The Lame Monkey prints As Is we do not change the spelling of a word unless absolutely necessary (Additions Ommissions by Editors for claritylegality in [brackets]) Names withheld by request Addresses printed only by special request fyou have any comments regarding The Lame Monkey please write Lettuhs The Lame Monkey Manifesto PO Box 8763 Knoxville 1N 37996-4800
~~1~~~~~ni~~~~~~~~~~11i~~1J~1~~I~W~1~~tWf~~~~~~~~~mt~~ The Lame Monkey Manifesto Official Newsletter of The Friends of the IatM Monkey
-Editor Christopher Gray Entire Contents Copyrighted copy1987
All Rights Reserved
LayoutDesignetc Christopher Gray Instructor EvaluationsLance Bleds~
Bob Daedalus and the Friends of the Lame Monkey
Ad Sales Christopher Gray Barry Mitchell Facilities Universal Printing Company Printing Alliance Press
Circulation 5000 Funded entirely by our respected advertisers Cost Pistributed free to UT Students or $1 by mail in plain brown wrapper If you or someone you love would like to support the Lame Monkey through advertising we have reasonable rates Write POBox 8763 Knoxville TN 37996-4800 or call 637-4840 arid leave a message
Page 3 January 4 1988 The Lame Monkey Manifesto
Drop amp Add Checklist Highlights of Fall 1987 and Past
ations of Fall Quarter 1987 our latest Walker 1 100 Welcome to the Instructor Evalu-I Townsend 1 200
and greatest compilation For the Typical boring accountant uninitiated this survey contains 2130 Survey Managerial Cost Acct 1J evaluations of over 600 classes taken Redding 1 400
Tells you what you need to know during Fall Quarter as well as those Richardson 2 350 ~m regarded as Best Ever and Worst middot Tests are a bitch
Ever 3110 Intermed Finan Accounting Every effort has been made to Reeves 1 300
confirm course information and Teaches from the heart name spellings If there are mistakes Turpin 1 400 NC we apologize If you have received a Exceptional teacher Really tries to poor review and are disgruntled we help the student invite conflicting comments for our 3120 Intermed Finan Accounting 5 9 next issue Slagle 2 050 -1 -
Some people have argued that our efforts are pointless because our sur- 3210 vey lacks statistical accuracy We feel that this survey is useful not because of its flawless precision but because
Human thorazine He should test on lit trivia Managerial Cost Acc Reeve 1 200 Herring 350 Roth 400
its the only information of its kind 3430 Federal Income Tax available to the students If you Wolfe 1 400 would like it to be more reliableshyhelp out give us a call
Thanks to all who have participat ed and -spent massive amounts of
time most noteably Lance Bledsoe and Robert Daedalus See ya at the end of this quarter on the UC Plaza
How To Use This Information
Cool dude ADVERTISING 3000 Advertising Principles
Jackson 3 333 -07 liI Arrogant Really motivates students but has no taste in clothes Jumper- 1 400 JiiJll
Stankey 1 000 -40 9 He should get a mirror and take itshyaround No one is as cute as he thinks he is
11 0-75 71)-15 11)-25 26-35 30-40
2930 Bio of Human Race Jants 1 300 Dull material but good instructor
who grades with compassion
Ridinger 3 2 00 ~ Bit fromHell Too many notes difficult tests doesnt talk loud enough
3900 Human Osteology Bass 1 400
ffiIh 1520 Intro Astronomy Itl Harris 1 100
Highly instructive fun challengshying
ARCHITECTURE 1200 Arch Graphics
1201
2110
2114
2207
Shell 1 400 Learned more than I have in any other class Visual Design Princp Wells-Bowie 1 000 NC pound Bit Fund of Site Design Dunikowski 1 300 Comp Appl in Arch Henley 1 000 Oscar Mayer poster child Prof never showed up Arch Hist Lester 2 300 Too many facts Great lectures killer exams
~ Lester 400
ART 11 05 Sculpture
Nichols 400 2505 Lettering and Typography
Dull unpredictable tests 1610 Intro Astro wI Lab
McCorkle 1 100 Reads directly from book Ridinger 1 100 Bity
AUDIOSPEECH PATHOLOGY 3710 Audio I
Burchfield 431D St-St-Stutt~ing
Luper 1 Hard tests
400
400
4650 Sp amp Lang Cult Diff Ch Adler 1 400 Throws excellent parties
BASIC ENGINEERING 1310 Statics
Brooks 000 -20 Hes a fat insulting bastamp who hates freshmen so he fails them Taught freshman course on graduate level Carley 4 150 I
1 The first number next to the Instructors name is the total number of responses we had regarding that prof Remember the fewer people surveyed the more unreliable his her evaluation
4000 Adv Copy and Layout Jackson 1 400
ffljh Clarke 1 250 Itl 3777 Jap Art
Dislikes the human race Knows material boring as hell Abandon all hope ye who enter here Iendruko 2 150 + 15 I
2 The next number is the Grade Point Average of the Instructor The Inshystructors were graded on a scale of AshyF where A is 4 and P is O The total number of these quality points is divided by the total number of reshysponses much like the way your own GP A is figured 3 The + - NC numbers following (where applicable) compare this quarters GP A to last quarter (+ = how much better - = how worse NC = no change from last quarter) 4 The icon graphically represents an Instructors performance (0-75 Boom 76-15 Bird 16-25 Scale 26-35 Girl 36-40 Beer) 5 A Bullet () after an Instructors name means we could not confirm their teaching this class based on course listings available to the public 6 Comments are excerpts from comshyments given by our interviewees and do not necessarily reflect those of the oublishers etc 7 Enjoy
ACCOUNTING 2110
2110
Fund of Accounting Albright l middot 300 Explains well tries to help Fund of Accounting Hendiks- 1 300 Matthews 3 333
Hardass but worth it 4360 Adv Media
Kerr 1 300 5310 Current Issues in Adv
Taylor 1 400 Tough but highly educational
AFRO-AMERICAN STUDIES 2010 Intro to Afro-Arner StUd
Morrow 1 400 Good teacher protests student art
AGECON 4120 Farm Management
Keller 1 200 AGRICULTURAL ENGINEERING 3100 Seminar
Bledsoe 1 100 3610 Soil and Water Cons
Von Bumuth 2 400 3640 Power Units and Mach
Tompkins 1 400
ANTHROPOLOGY 2510 Human Origins
NC JiiJll Bass 4 400 Larned a lot of material without realizing I was learning it Great class tests picky on details when considering amt of material covered Hall 400 Interesting easy tests fun
2520 Pre Hist Archaeology
2530
Simek 1 400 Very interesting fair tests instructor has sense of humor Human Cultures Logan 8 394 Great lectures fair tests Really in tune with students No textbook
Martinson 200 Very dry lectures grades with compassion but course is dull
3905 Intermed Photography r Lee 2 400 NC Different from most profs in that he d(Jes what h~ teaches and does it terribly w~ll
ART EDUCATION 3100 Intro to Art Ed
Hull 1 350 Fun class easy tests no homeshywork
ASIAN STUDIES 2431 Arabic I
2510
Gwen- 400 Cancels classes and quizzes Asian Civilization HaoYoung 1 400 Very for non-Asian Studies
1320
1330
Knows what hes doing but doesnt want to explain it Tries to explain material Solimon 2 400 He likes students and I learned something Stoneking 2 Particle Jynarnics Boulet 1 Kim Soliman
1 4
300
000 100 400
+30 ~
-30
NC
pound I
ImP Works and explains problems wonderfully Good presentation of material Basic Th~odynarnics Stephens 1 200 ~ Doesnt prepare you for his testswp
Thomas 1 400 ~
Scott 2 350 +05 ~ Tries to communicate what the
majors 2520 Asian Civ
Hao Confusing
1 200
material is about Hard AT7 1410 Engineering Computations
-10 -~- Fortey- 1 300
ASTRONOMY 1510 Intro Astro ~
Jones 1 150 () Fairman 2 OQO NC ~ This woman is totally stupid She makes no sense in lecyene Harmatz 2 250 Ms Mono~ne but interesting subject easy tests Hartzman 1 400 Lide 4 125 Talks like he is drunk No contest the worst Prof in the 25 years Ive
_ been here Tests completely unfair living fossil
British Mak 400 NC Very nice class - slow and easy -but gradesmiddot hard Katz 1 100 Mobasher- 1 400 Kim 1 000
BIOCHEMISTRY 4110 Cell and Comp Biochemistry
Koontz 1 300 -05 JiI Very good clear lecturer is somewhat approachable noshynonsense when answering quesshytions
ContinUed Next Page
The Lame Manifesto
3600 Trans Planning Wegmann z 250 4210 Intro to Physical Biochem
Churchich 1 000
lSF CLASSICS 1110 Beginning Latin I
Sounds like Dracula on Valium Time would be better spent watching 3710
Too much hom~wqrk unclear lectures Materials of Construction
Craig 2 400 NC II Good sense of humor enthusiastic Hes wonderful you want to learn Rutledge 2 100 ) Arrogant and rude Knows his Latin but is very abrupt and impatient with students
renms of Lost in Space
BIOLOGY 1210 Gen Biology
Mescall Y 1 400
Knew the material made it interesting Rakes Shutemiddot
1 2
300 325
Very organized and patient 3120 Cell Biology
Jeon 3 200 Never explains material justS gives page numbers Hes a creationist if youre not dont take him
Doesnt write anything down Skims over things in lecture
Whitson 2 350 JiI Good but only teaches in the falL5hows slides in class to break monotony At least he laughs at l)is own jokes
3130 Gen Bio Etnier 400 Teaches with a beer in his hand
BOTANY 1110 Fund Botany
Sheetzmiddot 400 Too bad shes married
1118 Honors Fund Botany Jones 1 400
BROADCASTING 2720 Intro to Broadcasting
Moore 2 300 +05 ~ Very informative and lectures are very good Interesting class lectures not based on assigned reading
3360 TV and Radio Advertising 9 Howard 1 000 shy
Time consuming bullshit assign-ments
3650 TV and Radio Writing Holt 1 000 Material has no useful value
4030 TV Production G Johnson 1 400 Best Ive ever had Really teaches really cares
4680 Brd Sales Mgt Holt I 100 Material has no useful value
5620 Broad Law Moore 1 300 Tries to make class interesting but material not interesting
BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION 3110 Intro to International Bus
4110
Dicer 1 400 Presents material in interesting manner Uses real life situations Envir Business Law
-Stowers 1 100 Rambling
CIVIL ENGINEERING 2260 Surveying
Chatterjee Grecco
200 100
Videotaped courses suck 3210 Anal of Framed Str
Moore l1 f 26i ~ Boring as hell Look at old tests and
labs _ 4230 Legal amp Etlubl Aspcts of En
Kressin 1 200 -10 lSF Be prepared for class discussion
4410 Deft Stat Indeter Str Johnson - 2 250
4540 Computer Utilizl1ion Bennett 1 400 Resume boost
2220 Greek Myth Tandy
2230 Greek Myth 400
Tandy 2 400 Great job explaining myths Interesting and funny
2510 Greek Lit w Eng Trans 4640 Traffic Engr
Wegmann 1 400 Rutledge 1 350
II 3340 Cities of Greek ampRoman Wrld Clear fair concise
5430 Const Mmngt Deatherage 1 200
CHEMISTRY 111 0 Gen Chemistry
Chambers 1 400 Good lectures funny man Assumes students are idigtts Kleinfelter 8 038 Terrible Cant explain it and you never meet him Going to class is useless ~You just try to ask a question iTIisier Those damn TVs ZZZZZZ Extremely boring Good class for sleeping Adcock 2 250 lSF Good lectures Quizzes taken from notes Tests are unfair
1118 Honors Gen Chern
1120
Lane 2 400 I failed his class but hes still a great teacher Treats students like they are bright General Chemistry Q -Kleinfelter 2 000 Pagni 000 pound Talks in amonotone only addresses the first two rows Could not care less
t 130 Gen Chern Cook 000 NC
1520
2140
3211
3221
Doesnt have a clue crazy as hell Kleinfelter 2 000 -20 pound Give him the same he gave me Gen Org Bio Chern Kalbalka 1 400 Anal Chemistry Sepaniak 1 200 Never around for consultation in a difficult class Organic Chemistry Bartmess 1 200 Boring and confusing Eastham 1 000 -30 pound Eastham doesnt know how to teach Lane 2 400 Great instructor Makes organic interesting Magid - 1 400 Organic Chemistry Kabalka 1 400
3231 Drgaruc Chemistry
Gesell 1 200 NC lSF Dry long lectures Whole class is taught by slides which is somewhat fun Subject is fascinating if youre into architecture
4050 Directed Readings in Greek Tandy 1 400
4310 Selected Readings inLatin Lit Rutledge 1 300 ~
COMMUNICATIONS Ill 0 Intro to Comm
Holt 2 400 Easy if you attend class The guys a riot
COMPU1ER SCIENCE 1410
1510
1620
2215
Intro Bus Orient Prog Brumgard 1 200 Cant relate info to students Rodriguez 1 000 pie scum Sledjeski 3 400 Great buns Dating material
Q Intro to FORTRAN Brumgarsmiddot 1 000 Intermed Structure Prog Mayo 1 400 I Good pace instructor didnt expect too much or too little Discrete Structures Thomason 1 000 pound Teacher was dead on his feet No energy no interest no A
3025 Computers and Society
3150
3155
3410
Ploch 3 200 Must be difficult to make an extremely boring subject interestshying Boring yet useless Intro Num Algor and Prob Hines 1 000 Needs to die a screaming death1ffih Ghatak 1 400 JtjJ
Kumarmiddot 1 100 ~) Youll get at least a D or a C but you wont learn anything Intro Num Algor and Prob Alexiades 1 300 JiI Makes impossible understandable
COBOL Baker 2 250 What a hard ass Hard to get hold of for help
3520 Assembly Language Program Binder 2 375 Tames a bitch really well
3910 Com Comp Conc Control
Goodpasture 1 400
Eastham 1 000 -35 pound The water spigot and the heater will both get As
I CHINESE Galbraith 1 150 Personality of a diaItone
Fair tests easy material 3230 Design of Framed Str
Goodpasture 1 300 Look at old tests
2531 Beg Chinese Bokenkamp 400 Easily the best teacher Ie ever had
ECOLOGY 5100 Special Probs
Packard 350
4 1988 Page 4
ECONOMICS 2510 Intro to Econ
Cole 8 313 - Jil Great lectures but confusing tests Boring subject but he explains it well Deprez 6 298 Great ~eacher Phillips 5 21 0 -12 lSF Multiple choice tests fairly easy Long lectures hard tests Talks
fast lut good WorrieS too much about his boats Boring egotistishycal
2520 Intro to Econ Clark 2 200 +04 lSF Knows his stuff but should come with No-Doze pills Wouldnt let _ us see our tests after we took them Deprez 2 225 +23 lSF
This guy is a clown Phillips 2 350 +20 ~ Hard to understand I never went to class just read the book I still got an A ~
3110 Intermed Micro Theory
3340
Glustoff 5 080 +03 ) Impossible exams instructor paced the room and confused students more than taught Dont bother going to class Waste of time going to class buy the book Just study his workbook Govt and Business Brown 1 400 I Very enthusiastic
4233 Poli Econ USSR amp Est Europe Feiwel 1 100 () Poor communicator very repetishytive
EDUC CURRIC AND INSTRUCT 3021 School In the Amer Society
Dellinger 1 300 4304 Dev Reading Ski Cont Field
Ryan 1 300
EDUC amp COUNSELINQ PSYCH 3002 Ed Psych
Poppenfho 1 400
ELECTRICAL ENGINEERING 2010 Circuits I
2020
2030
Adams 7 257 Cant even copy off his own notes
Grading system a little screwed but he is a good teacher Fair teacher gets confused easily R~lates well to circuit elements Googe 2 400 Googe is cool as hell Roberts 1 000 Horrifying tests Circuits II Bishop 3 267 +04 _l~ Eager to teach Great instructor Only class where I actually learn~ something He will dick students completely Circuits III Googe 400 NC
3010 Transient Anal I
II Googe 3 400 + 10 Explains completely Googe is cool
3040 - Basic Comm Syst McCullough 1 000 pound Worse class ever Terrible teacher impossible tests and shes $ I Tillman 1 000 JZ 10 weeks of aimless babbling
learn shit
Page 5 41988 The Lame Manifesto
Number right of instructors name is the total numbered surveyed Next over Is the Instructors Grade point Average far right is GPAs icon Next + is better - is worse and NC is steady compared to last quarters GPA Bullets ( ) designate instructors not confirmed as teaching listed class 0-75 76-15
D 16-25 26-35 36-lt10
3050
3060
3080
3090
3100
3110
Koch 200 Too much homework tests difficult Basic Field Theory Neff 5 300 +10Jif lusts ulncs doesnt teach Knows the material but doesnt teach it well Reads his own book but will help if interested Too easy Tillman 1 000 Didnt learn anything Propagation Tillman 2 125 Poor lecturer removed from reality not very relevant to this universe Power Patton 2 050 Expects too much for an intro class teaches like it is a grad class Teacher lacks ability to communishycate what he knows Rude to students who challenge his understanding Power Bailey l 300 +20Jif Very reJaxed style Symonds 2 350 Like having class with Monty Python Random Signals Hoffman 3 033 -32 pound Bad instructor horrible book Nice guy but worthl~ss as an instructor Circuits and Fields Googe 1 - 400 Abidi 3 300 Fair but incredibly abrasive
3120 Electronics
3180
3190
Waller 4 250 Mr Microphone One wordshyBoring Logic Design McCullough 2 250 +05 6p Needs to slow lecture down -Plasmal Alexeff 3 367 Makes learning fun Roth 4 100
+07 I
Doesnt care about students understanding only about getting thru the syllabus Only he uh knows uh what the uh hell he is uh talking about
3720 Linear Systems Anal Neff 2 350 Excellant in every category
3810 Electronics I Mukund 2 Blalock 2
400 200
NC
Assumes you take 3 hrs a quarter 3820 Electronics IT
Pierce 400 +30 I Learned things apply to real world
3830 Electronics ill Rochelle 5 380 -02 ~ Excellent teacher Workable projects Learned a lot Better than Pierce
4470 MHD
4600
4630
Akxeff 2 300 He enjoys teaching Cool guy too much vector analysis Analog Signal Processing Blaylock 2 200 Great teacher but digresses endlessly Compo Syst Org Bodenheimr 4 350 ~tiI Very usefur info GREAT instrucshytor Tough but applicable projects
4700 Digital Integrated Electronics Blalock 1 400 Interesting material good book
4740 Integrated Circuits KeJlI)edy 1 400 +20 II
4850 Small Computer Systems Bishop 1 200 If youre a computer jock you probably know more than Bishop
ENGLISH 1010 Eng Comp
Datzmiddot 000 9 - doesnt know material treats us like 3id graders Rohloftmiddot 1 - 400 One of the best Anderson 1 400 + 10 I Very off-the-wall but lots of fun Culberson 2 350 ~ EBest Ive ever had She made me like English Cullettemiddot 400 Fun as hell butkinda weird I) Davis 1 100 Demastes 2 325 -08 Jif Funny fair Boring fairly easy Duvall 1 100 (I Its not just the instructor the class itinerary sucks monkey turds Eckhardt 1 400 I Great dresser Elvis Costello fan interesting topics Fogelman 1 300 Haney 200 Doesnt teach English Babbles about works she has read Hardwig 1 300 The woman is nuts Lomanginomiddot 1 300 Fun in class but killer grading McKinstymiddot 1 400 I Extremely good bull Pigg 1 000 NC pound Knowledgable but obnoxious Stone 2 400 I Lee 1 200 ~ Good but too emotional Slagle 1 300 She gets better as the quarter goes on
1018 Honors English Comp
1020
1031
1032
1033
Lewis 1 300 Shes not big on deadlines Stillman 1 200 6p Knowledgeable but intolerant Ki~s his ass and youll do fine Zomchick 1 300 Very intelligent but opinionated English Comp Carroll 1 350 Learned a lot Thinks he is Shakespeare Elkin 1 Irwin 1
400 400
Class never moved that nice before Powell 400
I I
Is aware of students presence and talks to them personally Swainmiddot 1 350 Comes from the hippie generation(Cool teacher) English COinp Farriermiddot 1 100 English Comp Sprague 1 250 A f bitmiddot who ogles guys Tech Writing Blankenship 1 370 Fair and friendly
V Brentano 1 Ball 1
200 -20 6p
400 I Useful infonnative Little to no BS assignments
1038 _ Honors English Comp Zomchick 1 400 Lively thoughtcprovoking
- discussions and my writing actually improved
1451 Eng Comp Williamsonmiddot 1 400 II Fantastic teacher Only class Ive had at UT where I felt no pressure
2510 English Masterpieces -poundif 1rJl
2520
2531
2660
Clark 1 300 Eckhart 400
Simpson 1 middot 400 II Fantastic I really liked this class Tschantz 1 2006p English Masterpieces Lafaro 1 000 pound Arner Masterpieces Bullard 1 350 Boring but pretty good Intro to Drama Carol 1 370
2680 Intro to Novels HlIITllriontree 2 200
One person forum Perverted readings intense lectures lotsa work
3110 Fluid Mech BakerAI 29 362 Highly recommended Fair tests Gets excited about water Best dressed Engr prof on campus Strict about homework Lots of learning Forrester 000 Did not present material clearly
3311 Mechanics of Materials Brooks 3 067 Duhhhhh Hes a geek Presentashytion of material is so bad Hodgson 100 -Doesnt teach anything Landes 4 350 Great Helpful Patient Were having a pizza party Mathews 3 000 -10 Good for sleePing Pih 6 000 NC Ahole to an extreme Likes to give Fs Bad attitude Wasserman i 400
3320 Mechanics of Materials Mathews 2 middot 150 When youre roommate only goes to class twice and gets an A and you go all quarter and get aD its bad
Time flies Penner 200
6p 3410 Intro Biomed Engr Wasserman 5 320
Knows material but too infatuated with own opinion
2690 Intro to Film Studies Holtzclaw 2 200 -20 6p Class is too difficult for 2000 level I wish I didnt have to take it Maland 2 350 Interesting and interested
3042 Colloq in Literature Heffernan 1 400 Instructor managed to blend English history and philosophy into one extraordinary class
Likes to break legs Best Ive ever had
3700 Dynamics Forrester 1 300 Concerned about basics Kim 2 200 -20 LSllgt Not easy but fair Soliman 2 400 Best teacher I have ever had at UT
4710 Vibration BrQoks 4 225 qzgt
3045 _ Intro to Literary Criticism Dunn 1 200 6p 4810
No way to talk to him outside class doesnt teach middothell Engr Anal Wasserman Rather abstract 400
I FINANCE 3120 Business Finance
3435 Film and Arner Culture Maland 1 400
3840 Adv Writing Lewis
3850 Persuasive Writing 300
Bensel-Mey 1 300 Knows her stuff course structure great
4020 Shakespeare
4140
4651
Carroll
Dynamic teacher Adv Tech Writing Riley 1 SamSon Southern Lit
400
400 300
Ensor 2 350
NC
ENVIRONMENT ENGINEERING 3120 Hydraulics
Fredrick 1 400 3330 Elem Hydrology
Frederick 1 300 4030 Envr Engr Chem
- Robinson 1 400
ESM 2720 Dynamics
Pih 3 000 Dr Pih is a ridiculous excuse for a teacher Remenjik 1 000 Has zero insight into students perspective Absolutely cannot communicate
3130
3510
Newman 2 400 Takes the students into considera-tion and teaches them what is important Shao 200 Says clearly too much Bus Finance Trimble 300 Moody Clayton 000 Bring crossword puzzle to class For such an interesting subject he makes it extremely dull Boehmmiddot 1 200 Laid back but boring as hell
Zagagi R 2 000 He doesnt speak English and he doesnt know what the hell he is doing An easy course made difficult US Finan System Newman 3 400 Really cares about students Vines 1 300 -10 Tests can be a bitch Black 1 100 If you want to leam and fail this class is for you
ContinUed Next Page
I
1
The Lame
4110 Investment Anal Hogan 1 400 Hilarious This guys a riot
4840 Real Estate Investment Goolsby 1 300 30 Easy but he put me to sleep
FORESTRY 1620 Intro to Forr
Hay 350 FRENCH -1110
2110
ElemFrench Rabo 1 100 Expects perfection frrst day Intermed French Curry 4 325 Helps a lot Tries hard very boring Genuiriely interested in tellching Hottel 400 Interesting fun class Petrovska 1 000
II
JiI
JiI
You must speak perfect French one mistake = F Striblingmiddot 400 Great sense of humor
2120 Intermed French Petrovska 1 000 Slavic bit who kicked Satan out
1 of Hell
2910 F~nch Lit with Eng Trans WIllace 1 350
GEOGRAPHY 1610 Intro to Geography
Jumper 2 250 Fair but Spe~ too softly
1620 Intro to Geography - Rehder 3 367
Fridays are Hawaiian days Keeps theclass awake with lots of humQr
Used hundreds of slides I felt like Id beeIlaround the world Geo of Nat Envir Hom 3 233 Enthusiastic interesting has high expectations of students Waste of time going to lectures youll fall asleep
2130 Economic Geography
3530
3940
4740
5150
Bell 5 140 filird to take notes Boring mtmdane Covers material too
fast Ralston _ 1 400 +07 D All around gOod guy Land-Surface System and Man Harden 1 400 IilP Interesting and informative leCturer Geo of the Appalachia Brinkman 1 200 No textbook all reserve reading Interesting but tough class Remote Sensing Rehder 2 350 Rehders cool lots of slides Good guy
Intro Geog Research 9 AikenFores 2 050 -Makes Gulag look like Club Med more bullshit than a feedlot A terror
GEOLOGY 1010 Gen Geology
Kopp 1 100 Tries to trick students Dick-
head
Misra 3 267 liI Miller 2 400 NC II Does not tmdeistand grading Great lady Opened my eyes to the process Not bad Has rouble way the world and society really speaking English operate
Williams 2 200 ~ 1610 World Civ The good thing about this class is Farris 300 JlI that Life is short and this cl~s makes Cant afford to miss the lectures
Page 6
LINGUISTICS 2000 Lang Lingsts and Society
Dumas l 400 MANAGEMENT
fgt 3010 Principles of Management
Reed 2 150 Cranky old man Great speaking voice stated info clearly iKeem so long 2015 Hist Issues
Gen Geology pound Farr 1 400 1030 Prod Manageme)1t Noon 1 400
IrP 3110
Broadhead 1 000 2510 History of US I J9 Snotty arrogant afld non-caring Finger 2 350 _ Geo of N atl Parks Keeps you on your toes but I do Clark 1 400 II feel I learned something Every student should hear this Wheeler 1 400 teaching phenomenon 3140 English History Geol fgr Engineers At7 Pickney 2 350 Byerly 3 200 - - Take the class if you have the Good lab wasted lecture too boring interest
2410
for a 750 About as exciting as a 3150 England
rock Pickney 1 300 4550 Optical Minearalogy Really knows and enjoys teaching
Clark 1 400 I 3160 England 1832- Present
GERMAN Bohstedt 1 300 -10 JiI 1110 Elem Germ Realiy knows his stuff
00 9 H Harris 1 O - 3470 Russian Story Hodges 1 400 IiJ Chmielewsk 2 000 pound
2110 Intermed Germ Prof belittles students tests were Cather 1 4 Q9 I horrible students have no chance of Really wants to help passing
2120 Intermed German 00 A 3650 Civil W iJr and Rl eco~ 00 I
Hard but good Really cute Makund 1 000 pound ZuzzL
MANAGEMENT SCIENCE 2110 Decision Models
Stmdaro 1 000 Ho 200 Out in Twilight Zone
MARKETING 3110 Intro to Marketing
3120
Fine 1 300 Explains well Clemons 1 000 Eliminate Scott Clemons Marketing ~gt McMillan 2 150
9 -Rough but a great curve ~Boring rud~ Peters 4 200
Lauckner 1 1 1 Muldowny
Strange woman hard as hell Tough tests but he knows his stuff 3310 311 0 Intro to German Lit and lectures well
Bats eyes too much Lectures do not pertain to tests She knows her subject and appreciates her students Marketing Channels
Osbornemiddot 1 400 Jrjl 3931 US Hist WW II to Presellt J
Instructor is ~ery interested in his Johnson I 300 -05 El
sub]ectand siudents Enjoys teaching and material GRAPIDCS 4370 US Military History - 1410 EngrGraphicsI Johnson middot 1 400 NC II
Foster l 350 Jjf HUMAN ECOLOGy Teacher moved slowly and 1510 Human Dev
expl~ed ~swell lit Howell 1 30fJ Lyday 1 400 ItJ HUMAN SERVICES Cool guy Knows middotms shit Tries to 2n90 Inlro to Human Serv
- make EstabrookUaJl le~s ofa hole Knonick 1 400 NC 1 I-IEAL 11I had some really good stOri~ to 3510 Schooi Community Health ltgt relatihis topics
Aghamemiddot 1 000 - INDUSTRIAL ENGINEERING Thinks the overhead projector is the 3600 Motion and Time studies latest innovation in education Doulet 1 400
mSTORY 4150 Proj CompCPM andPert 1510 Western Civ I Kirby 1 100
Bing 2 100 + 10 ) 4520 Engineering Economy JfI lncoherent lectures butBing Ford 1 300
expectsmiddot very coherent fmal and mid- Doulet 3 367 ()3 Ji term anSwers ~ts of real life examples Farr 400 D ITALIAN The dude is in~ 9 1110 Elem Ita Haas 1 000 NC - Maria 1 300 Hitler-in-training A boy from Average cares about progress
brazil Pavlicelli 1 400 I McDonald 1 400 NC II Shes beautiful What a guy Fun knows things JAPANESE Pickney 5 350 JfI 2631 Elem Jap Fairest of all gives extra credit Ericson 1 400 Fuck Haas Bingmiddot Wry humor Interesting easy tesK makes a dull subject interesting JOURNALISM Brummett 2 300 Jjf 2215 Basic News Writing Get ready to read your ass off Caudill 1 000
1518 Honors Western Civ I Hufford 400
Shepherd 2 250 -05 ~ OK but Thinks hes groovy
3410 Buyer Behavior ~ Speck 1 400
Teughtests but great lectures 3510 Muketing Research
Faulds 1 100 -10 (gt 4140 Sales ForCe MlIJ)llgementmiddot
G~al 1 300 NC ~ Toomuch readirig
4610 Marlcet Opp Anal Rentz 1 300
MATERIALS SCIENCE 2030 Process Prinep and Materials
SPruiell 1 200 Defmition freak
211 0 Engr Materials I Becker 5 000 Takes out frustrations on students teaches way over sophomores head No one deserves this Loses you inlecture in 2 seconds
Doesnt give a shit about students Jumps all over you if you ask a question Talks in circles makes class too hard Benson 1 000
Arrogant SOB
Buchanan 1 400 Made the best of an average class
Fair grades and very tmderstandshy able
3130 Engr Materials ill Ashbee 1 000 -07 pound Borie 3 333 +03 poundif Hes cool as hell Fair tests and grades
Trainer 3 100 -03 ) Good and the TA is cute Hateful snobby high and mighty 3720 Adv Pub Relati~ 9 1140 Basic Math Couldnt care less about studentS Wolfe 1 000 _ Borthwick 1 O()()
MAW
Teacher was egotistical tmfair Slave driver Would have fit in well ~Bi~ prejudiced totally unprofes-pompous and boring in a Nazi camp
1520 Western Civ II lfi 4410 Mass Media and Society 1150 Bohstedt 2 400 lA Singletary 1 100 ) Very interested professional Worst excuse for a teacher Ive ever learned people seen
sional StatisJicll Reason Smith lC 1 000 I would not wish this heathen on my worst enemy
I I I
January 4 1988
Number right of instructors name is the total numbered suNeyed Next over is the Instructors Grade point Average far right is GPAs Icon Negt9 + is better - is worse ond NC is steady compared to last quarters GPA Bullets ( ) designate Instructors not confirmed as teaching listed class 0-7570-15
2840 Multivariable Calculus Anderson 1 400
1540 College Algebra Anderson 3 237 Dont need to go to lecture I would give him an F but I got a few good naps out of it
Dassioso 1 000 pound He speaks Greek and skips around on derivations
100 +10 ~ Harris 1 Harrington 1 300 JS Easy course teacher works Doesnt realize students are there anything_ Kuo - 1300 19 Smith 1 190 SIa Boring but a great class for
1550 Intro to Calculus working cross-word puzzleseasy
Brown 1 200 qz tests ~ Crump 1 400 Ii) Moziao 1 100 Gross 1 200 qz Travis 2 050 pound Yuck Confusing lectures Gives tests that Matthews 2 250 ~ require reading the entire book
Very hard to understand when he 2850 Multivariable Calculus shows up Alquiza 1 100 ~ Rowo 1 000 pound Very poor teacher Biased against
He teaches like an ostrich flies hes select students supposed to but he just doesnt get Anderson - 1 300 JjI around to it Great teacher but tests are rough
1560 Intro to Calculus Dydak 1 300 -10 ~ Caruth 1 380 trnJ El-Duma 1 000 pound Dosso 1 000 pound Retnam 1 100 ~ Row 1 000 2 Very hard to understand Never
1700 Pre-calculus changes clothes Coffee 1 200 qz Schippo 1 100 Mr Monotone bring a stiff drink or 2860 Multivariable Calculus a cup of coffee Alexiades 3 233 Dobbs 2 150 ~ ~ Decent teacher but you have to Doemt know how to explain work to get him interested No
anything moves too fast Great sYlabus No practicalc-applicatioris
sense of humor Alquiza 1 too ~ 1840 Single Variable Calculus Great teacher lousy tests
Coffee J O OOl~ i pound Bales - 1000middot pound Doemt like to teach 6 out of 50 Prof was abolrt as iRteresting and passed class persC1lable as a dead fish Taught out Daverman 2 150 ~ _ of thebOok~ Subject was stupid
Acts like an ex -chuggie hav ing numbeT tricks middotDTs middot Dalnis 3 Hintonlt 1 400 Ft McConnell 1
jjI 267 r
Q9O -33 ( ~
N~lte guy explains it very well Keller- middot l 100 ~ Huh The instrU~tor is a boring
wimpy monotonous dweeb Morris 1 400 tl) Made math a great experience PrestOno 1 400 trIl Sense of humor gets material across very well Extremely professional Stephenson 1 300 JjI Explains well goes slowly Wade 2 400 liiI Great professor He made the class interesting and understandable Zoran 1 400 D Funny He wore the samepants all quarter
Presentation of material was very
pOor 3155 Intro to Nwn Algor
Sonio 1 000 3310 Adv EuclideanGepm
Mulay 1200 3550 InteIDlediate Anal
Som R 1 000 Dr Soni is a total idiot
pound 3560middot middotIntermediate An~
Soni R 1 000
pound 4050 Matrix Algebra Appl McConnel 4 075 Incoherent Never let the class out on time Too strict in graiing Unwilling to answer questions or do examples
4250 - Intr Complex Anal Stepheson - 1 200
1841 Calculus for Biology Majors
1850
1860
2110
Kot 1 300 Good but gets sidetracked Single Variable Calculus Alquiza 1 200 Mulayo 000 Smith 100 Hes weird Single Variable Calculus Boriango 2 400 Great teacher learned a lot My God shes fair
Too much outside work required 4610 DiffEq
Simpson H 2 400 II Dassios had me sO messed up I couldnt do squat Now it all makes sense Great teacher but needs to work on his posture~
MEC~CALENGThffiERmG 3311 Engr Thermo
Amin 1 000 pound The wors~cher Impossible to McKinnyo l 400 tl)
~ 2 250 ~ - -S~tftmiddot t - ttOO ~- pound Arrogant son-of-a-bitA who did not
J~-tnOf~k questions -Hodgson 2 250 1 qz
know the material He encouraged everyone to drop hiS class Structure of Number System Stevens I 350
Not too willing to help students one-on one TestS are too hard
3330 ~grThenno Nguyen 2 150 -15 ~ Nice guy bad teacher
3520 Thermal Sciences Kektar 5 180 qzgt Decent Lame and hopeless
3530 Thermal Sciences Arnin 1 300 Jjf
3540 Heat Transfer bull Keyhani 3 233 qz Good instructor too arrogant
3620 Dynamics Becker 1 200 qz
3630 Mechanics of Machinery Holland 1 400 Ii) Excellant lots of stories
4511 Systems Smith 1 400 D A good guy
4670 Machine Elements Holland 1 100 ~ Always off on a tangent You have
middotto teach yourself grades easy
MICROBIOLOGY 2910 Gen Microbio
McMahOn 1 200 qz Never there- out making babies
4270 Immunology Wust ~ 2 100 ~ Lost In Space If he talked any faster hed explode Its not if the ans~er is right or wrong its if he likes it
MILITARY SCIENCE 1110 Fund Military Org
Benton 1 350 -05 A Hamilton Martin
1 350 -05 JiI 1 400 81
A great American hero 2110 Leadershlp Development
Ro~ 1 400 Etassroom of raw unbridled
bored
il l
tol R
middot JAME~middot 0 ~~C~(N
~Cgt
Buy 5pound- Lmiddot
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The Lame nnII L Manifesto
llnP 16-25 26-35 3 1)middot40
MUSIC 1000 Fund Music Thoory
Hawthorne 1 200 ~ Good instructor very fair on testing a lotto be learned about music clt
1210 Music Appreciation Sadie 1 300 It Trevor l 300NC Jt Is never there
1230 History of Rock amp Roll Young 7 343 lll Great prof -rough tests Greit class Hes on drugs and on the rag Weird and w~ird TA
3652 Campus Band Sparks 2 150 -05 (gt Jerk Two-faced tells bad jokes Music choice is good tho
3657 Marching Band Julian 1 000 pound Not a human being
3950 Evolution ofJ~ Coker 1 400 l1fll Great sax player good jokes
NUTRITION 1010 Food Principles
Costello 1 400 NC D Great course great teacher
2210 Intro Trns Fd -Lodg Adinin Jones 1 loPO S
3210 Food Service Sys Mmg I~ Sneed l 200
PHYSICAL EDUCA nON 2707 El~entary Badmitoh
Trappmann 1 200 Crazy middotNazi
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NOON
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The Lame Monkey Manifesto
2772 Intenned Swimming Zhu 1 100
2781 Elem Tennis
3610 Electronics Elston SB 1 300 Two hour lectures zzzzzzz
Curtis 2 225 qz PLANT AND SOn SCIENCE She flirts with all the guys Doesnt help at all during class Schoonmak~ 1 300 m
2782 Intenned Tennis Penna 1 350 A
PHllOSOPHY 1510 Intro Philosophy
+20 qz ~
15 qz
Brenkert 1 200 Green l 300 Hamlin 2 250 Strange fonnat for class Hilliardmiddot 1 400 Interesting as a person teacher and friend Postow 1 100 Cure for insomnia
1511 Human Conditions Van deVate 1 300 -10 JjI Challenging but reasonable
1810 Intro-Symbolic Logic
2510
Grunfeldmiddot 1 000 Its gibberish I cant see the reasoning for taking this ElemLogic Grunfeld 4 325 Pair tests confusing lectures Roddymiddot l 100
2130 Soils Graveel 1 400 NC Jl)
POLITICAL SCIENCE 2020 Intro to Peli Sci
Allende 1 200 Hard to understand
2510 US Govt and Politics Robinson 1 200 NC qz Subject could be interesting but class time is not Scheb 1 200 Dull really knows how to kill a subject
2518 Honors US Govt Poli
2520
3130
Ungs 1 300 Good discussions sometimes too dry New Deal liberal but faiT US Govt and Politics Gant 1 400 +40 Jl) Very entertaining and inspiring made a dull subject fun Plaas 1 300 A Simonesmiddot 400 Jl) Dynamic lecturer Fun exciting stimulating motivating Pop Culture and Amer Politics Fittgerald 2 400 NC Jl) Exhibits the true defInition of what
3111 Boring never comes to class Ancient West Philo Van de Vate 1 400 Brilliant challenging teacher Ethics aand Society
a professor should be pound 3390 Coritemp Issues
PittgeraldIR 9 400 +03 Iib 3440
Postowmiddot 1 200 qz OK lecturer but he is confusing or confused
PHYSICS 1210 Intro Physics
Nielsen 4 075 -13 pound
2210
Its like being buried in an anthill then dipped in turpentine and set ablaze Lectures pointless This is a fucking intro course Loses approx 50 of all work turned in Still uses a slide rule Elements of Physics Childers 3 133 Boring and disorganiz~d
2310 Fund Physics Childers 1 100
2318
2320
2330
3110
Memorize everything including all equations Stelson 4 175 Cannot teach Easy tests Thompson 6 133 Brilliant physicist but a pitiful instructor To this day (5 days before fmals) 1 have no idea what the man is talking about Honors Fund Physics Riedinger 1 400 +20 Iib Fund Physics Calcott 200 +03 qz Decent lecturer but dont ask him a
question King 4 400 Jl) Better than anyone else teaching the course Elem of Physics Handler 3 333 ~ Good teaCher good partial credit Mechanics Shih 1 200 qz The bOok was better
3545
3546
This is not a class this is an emotional expierence ReaIly into material gives kick-ass lectures Constitutional Law Series SchebSteph 2 400 NC Jl) Good lectures fair tests Constitutional Law Series StephenS 1 200 Nice man pathetic format
3605 Pol Chan in Dev Areas
3631
3712
4410
Dodd 1 400 Likes the subject Gov and Pol of Sov Union Piennan 1 300 Grades much too tough US For Pol Processes Peterson 1 400 Good teacher good subject Law and Admin Pro Ungs 1 400 Interesting issues
4665 Public Policy Smith 2 350 Intelligent man difficult class new perspectivesAs conservative as Hell
PORTUGESE 1510 Elem Portugese
Rodiiguez 1 400 i1l The best teacher to teach Portu-guese to a bunch of sloppy disinter-ested students
1520 Elem Portugese Julian 3 367 Jl) Boa tarde Simply the best She cares about her students
PSYCHOLOGY 2500 Gen Psych
Henley 3 400 + 10 ~ Interesting approach brings it down to a personal ievel Phillipeamiddot 1 350 lB
~- -- ---- -~ - - -- ---- - -- --- -- ~ -- -
January 4 1988
2518 Honors Gen Psych Calhoun 1 400 I Small individualized class he makes it fun with jokes and stories
2520 Bio Poundation of Behavior Shrader 1 350 JiI VanCleave 2 400 NC Jl) Made the class more than just facts
2530 Psych as a Social Science VanCleave 2 3 85 Jl)
2540 Psych of Indiv Smith M 1 400 Jl) Take during the mini-tenn(with the football team) Anything Smith teaches is an middotA
3120 SQcialPsych Eissenberg 300 ~tif Good instructor but needs voice training
3150 Psych Statistics Handel 1 300 J)f Good teacher but his tests arent always overwhat he ~ught Smith M 2 400 NC ~ Good teacher and the fmal was a take-home
3210 Learning and Thinking middotMalone 1 400 NC Jl) Pollio 1 400 Jl]l Good class if youre going to make a career of going to school Smith M 4 325 J9 I think hes on LSD Very interesting kept my attention
3550 Child Psych Wahler 400 ~
3650
4230
Abnonnal Psych Wiberly 1 000 pound Prof was good but text book and subject matter offensive Sensory Proc amp Percep A Handel 2 150
When couldnt explain dropped into mathematical analogies Tests over what he wishes he could teach
4510 Personality Theories McIntyre 1 200 qz Extreme feminist strange person
4830 Hist and Sys of Psych Malone 2 300 ~m Intense lectures sinful tests
RECREATION 3100 Recre Leadership Proc
Cox 1 000 pound Lectures out of-book word for word
RELIGIOUS STUDIES 2120 Pounders in Religion
Linge 1 300 J9 Good speaker learned a lot
3021 Relig Myths Symbls and Rit Lusby 2 400 I Interesting and thought provoking Im in love with his mind
3311 Images of Jesus Dungan 1 400 Jl) P ascinating
3370 Intro to Christianity Linge 2 150 ) Disorganized all info for exams not discussed in class
7w WI ~ tu6 _j ~ t yu ~t ~ ~~ ~ tupound~ ~iIf Y~~~~tCOUtl
[jjj [JlJ 0 WI [f ~ ampJ 0 [p)71DmrflofJi) l ~9tA Y~ 38ru4u1 ~ 38e11 ~~IF~~it
January 4 1988 The Lame Monkey Manifesto
Number right of instructors name Is the jotal numbered surveyed Next over is the Instructors Grade point Average far right is GPAs Icon Next + is better - is worse and NC is steady compared to last quarters GPA II Bullets ( ) designate I~tructors not confirmed as teaching listed class
SOCIOLOGY 1510 Gen Sociology
Jacobson 2 250 Hes libral with a little common sense He sometimes calls off class Bidwell 1 400 I Fun easy tests not very hard just sit and listen Coleman - 1 400 NC Jrnl He lives for Sociology
- Harris 1 200 +10 ~ Teaching by television do~nt work
Heflin 1 400 1 Magnifico McKeeby 1 050 -25 pound Embarasses the hell out of you in -class if youre wrong Navarromiddot 1 400 Very complete
3110 Aspects of Spanish Lit Cobb 1 200 The manners of a goat
SPECIAL ED 5320 Manual Comm m
Barnesmiddot 1 400 DP Hubbardmiddot 1- 300
1520
3510
Wears sarne sweatshirt every day Perrin 2 200 ~ Teaches like a grad course Social Probs Dunaway 2 000 Q - should be killed Lies to students Entire number of lectures can be counted on one hand Didnt learn shit Norris Wallace
200 000
poundl6
Q -The teacher was not so ~ad but his TA was unfair and aline talked about was smoking pot and partyshying Juvenile Delinquency Black 1 000 Wanna fall asleep
Q -
Great guy interesting class SPEECH 2311 Public Speaking
I
2351
2361
Robertson 2 375 Took away the pressure of giving speeches Very relaxed atmosphere V~cl 1 100 ~ Interpersonal Commun Ambrester 3 400 NC I Relates to students Doesnt jerk you around like most profs Business and Profes Speaking McDaniels 1 400
4560 Rhet of Worn Rights Movem Cook 1 100 Tries to teach a rhetoric class by telling you the words but not the context in which they were spoken
SPANISH STATISTICS 1110 Elem Spanish 2100 Prob and Stats
Gl 2 400 fifll ennmiddot )l Beal 1 150 Got away with murder and still learned
Doesnt know how to explain
0-75 76middot1 5
Dixon 400 Cares about students Walker 2 400 NC Jrji Great teacher expresses material
well 3110 Regression and Corr Meth
1
3220
3450
Cwiek 1 400 The best in stats Niedart 2 250 ~
Very picky a tough grader on -exams Walker E
tests Sylwester 2 250 Be prepared to do ALL the homework
LoI Lo
THEATRE 2111 Acting
Harris 400 Ii) Great teacher knows his stuff Always in a good mood He gets to know each student personally
2252 Survey of World Dramas I Schmitt 1 400 NC
Ancient drama in modem terms
16-25 26-35 36middot 40
1RANSPORTATION 3115
4415
4720
2980
3990
4200
4720
Intro to Logistics Langley 1 200 -20 5lb
OK hard exams Freight Carrier Operations Patton _ 4 325 -03 4 Fair in coursework and tests 1
Logistic Sys Mgrnnt Sem middot ~ 51b Foggin 1 200
Teaches bare-bones essentiils and tests over his lectures Easy class if youve had Bio 123 Human Anatomy Milastan 1 400 Fair A hunk Zoo Coll6quim
I Greenburg 1 400 Ichthyology
I Etnier 400 Only instructor Ive had that would drink a beer with students Comp Animal Behavior
Bowers 1 400 Excellent instructor GreenburgB 1 300 Greenburgs great burghdts bizarre
WIN A DATE WITH JOHNNY MAJORSmiddot Oh What a Hunk Its NOT TOO LATE to win
A God in his own time Unbelieveable but yes The Lame Monkey Manifesto is giving one lUCKY soul an all-expense paid evening with Johnny Majors but only if you enter
You may have the opportunity to gaze deep into his eyes and ponder the meaning of UTK Wine Dinner Dancing A evening of football related conversation Allis possible if you wont tell his wife An enticing proposition all middotfor the low low price of free A stimulating adventure with this prime example of virility~ The season may be over but Johnny is still hot hot hot
Be the first on your block to make go out with Johnny Majors A throbbing evening to make any debautant blush
The Lame Monkey has made available to you this extraordinary opportunity This evening dinner package can be yours only if your enter Send your prize winning rtmiddot~middot ~--u numbers in today and take advan- bullbull tage of this once in a lifetime oppor-tunity
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The Lame Monkey Manifesto January 4 1988
Logic Logic Whos Got the Logic Jesus Was a Commie and Darwin Wasnt Talking About Hulk Hogan Doug Collins Lame Monkey Philosophy Reporter
Well now well now it seems weve upset some people God That Good Natured Ole Tyrant has made some people react-not think mind you but read Lets analyze those reshyactions for a minute One writer a very (parenthetical) and (dogmatic) person who signs himself The Prophet has attempted to answer our little riddle Proph babe before you-call these questions shallow and redundant you should do a little reshysearch Saint Augustine and Saint Thomas Aquinas had difficulty with this one and even they lost sight of the problemgetting caught in the same
the buck Throw in omnibenevolence and
you see that God cannot by the nature of omnibenevolence choose evil or allow evil to be chosen If he does then it is not through inability to reconcile free will and an absence of evil for God is able to do anything And there ladies and gents is where you lost sight of the little pea in my previous she~l game article
If God can do anything then He can reconcile paradox The logically impossible is not even difficult pi can equal three cocks will crow at moonshyrise and magic is loose in the world God can be omnipotent omnibenevoshylent and support Alabama if He so chooses because He has the power I cant understand it but then I cant understand nested infinities or 4th dimensional curves either How can He do it Ask him not I
So what do we do now Well we abandon logic and enter the realm of faith I have faith that God does not exists I cant prove it because if He
morass of scripture in which you does exist then all my logical relationshyfound yourself stuck It is impossible ships are merely a fraction of His within the structures of logic to rec- being You can believe what you want oncile an omnipotent omniscient to I am disappointed that no one omnibenevolent deity with the exis- caught the gimmick in my first article tence of evi Once again Ill point out Oh well you were probably too horrishythe fallacy of the free wiil argument fied by the prospect of a Godless uni-
First of all free will is itself incon- verse Speaking of which shall we sistent with omniscience and discuss Lonnie Rapers pathological omnipotence If ~~~~~~- dependence on God knows every- God the Father for thing then he hismoralandethi-knows what I am cal standards about to do and Gently now we has known sinee dont want to he said fiat lux frighten him (God spoke Latin Lon n ie yknow) There- sweetie athe-fore he knows if I ists was the cor-will choose good rect term Secular or evil If God is humanist is a omnipotent then Neo Dexter buzz he can cause me to word for anyone choose good or evil and in fact has who refuses to march in step Godshydone so Lose me on that one Well if less communists goes to far since I can do anything and I choose not to communism is a politico-economic act sntthat the same thing as acting system A system advocated by Jesus Haven-t I knowing the resul ts of inac- by the way at least as far as economics tion by not acting chosen -to those is concerned Jesus was not a results In other words can God pass capitalist
I saw Jesus go by the doorway of my lecture hall this morning He paused momentarily as if to explain Sorry cant stay Im late for My religious studies class
He was wearing a tie-dyed Grateful Dead shirt And carrying an art pad and some Middle Estern Civilization textbooks Iwanted to go running after him and ask him For his phone number just in case I ever got in troubleshyThen I smiled And realized how foolish that would be
Now lets turn to the argument probably more fitto survive the social itself I was willing to go along with environment Like the old story about you until you equated survival of the the bundle-of sticks one stick by itself fittest with might makes middot right can be broken combine the sticksand This is a common f they are stronger perversion of Dar- - Actually -I think win wherein sur- ~ ~ that this is both vival of the fittest lt self-evident and become survlVal of ~ _ ~ an endorsement of
Th ~ ltgt (r the strongest e ~ -~lt ~ __ rt~compassionate so-two are not the I ~ ~~ ~ I cieties If you be-same ~ffY lt -- J _ ~I lieve tha~ a socially
Hulk Hogan ~W ~~ f -5J ~f ~ responSIble SOCI-the man the myth r r r- _ tW~ ety is so unfitthat it the legend able to flrr=-~ ji~ ~ must be propped eat steel bars and r I up by God all you shit nails would 11 if are saying is that pop like a balloon if since God is shoved suddenly I i strongest let His into even a rela- Just Another will prevail That is tively soft vacuum Godless Communist truly might mak-yetthere small weak and timid bacte- ing right You seem unable to accept ria which cope at ease Why Because that the universe may a cold and the bacteria are more fit to survive lonely place but just because you that environment Just so with ethical dont like it dont mean it aint so systems Wrap yourself in illusions Lonnie
If a system based on rights and a but dont pawn them off as reality concern for justice is more popular Some of us dont need God to keep us than a dog-eat-dog anarchy then it is warm at night
~AnnMK Patil Mozingo Contraception Kills
4 1988 The Lame J Manifesto
he Winter Weather Worrywart Checklist Lauralie Morton Lame Monkey Weather Correspondent
Well it seems that we are presently the victims of an excessively precipishytant winter season and it is apparent that we have some amateur worriers out there in the nooks and crannies of readerland Having had the unmitishygated delight of living out twentyshythree wjnters in this burgeoning meshytropolis I consider myself an expert in the field of professional weathershyworry If you follow the directions exactly as presented here I can assure you a successful survival of the terror this winter might bring
1 If ad verse conditions are preshydicted )mmediately rush out to the nearest grocery store and stock up on staples and non-perishables The cruel terrain of East Tenness~e
coupled with ice-covered roads could strand you for weeks on end How horrible to starve to death in your
own home just because you ignored your scout promise to be prepared Tomato soup grilled cheese sandshywich fixings and four kegs of beer are essential to a basic survival kit
2 Do not drive at all from Novemshyber 1st through April 15th If you must drive be sure to pump your brakes when going up hills My sisters husbands cousins doctor once told me that this gives good tracshytion For Gods sake slam on the brakes if you start to slide on snow or ice This will at least ensure your departure from this world in a genushyine blaze of glory
3 Be a good weather-watcher Know the difference between the jet stream and the blood stream Monitor temperature fluctuation~_ at fifteen minute intervals That harmless little raincloud out there could easily metashymorphose into a full-blown blizzard just because the temp drops a degree or two And just imagine your shame at being caught in the unawares
Theres No Place Like Colectors Choice
Theres No Place Like
MOVED TO NEW LOCATION -2104 Cutnbedand bull Next to -Davis-Kidd
GAMES bull COMICS ~ MINIATURES BASEBALL CARDS
_ MOVIE POSTERSmiddot STAR TREK
when all you had to do was call the local times and temperature number four times an hour
4 If you are at work or school when you spot that first flake leave immeshydiately It is helpfu1to clog Kingston Pike Cucumberland A venue and the interstate system with thousands of frightened commuters all at once The glut of traffic keeps the precipitation be it snow or ice from ever reaching the streets surface
5 Feel free to sled and frolic onyour neighborhood streets This will keep you from getting out in your car and sliding over anYsmall children~who might be sledding on your neighborshyhood streets You probably wont get hurt
Now that weve established a few precautions lets discuss how to best enjoy this weather Here are a few suggestions to cure that cabin fever
1 Watch MTV until your eyes glaze over The minute-by-minute intellecshytual challenges of music videos will provide you with hours of thrills and
chills 2 Do not read anything This is
imperative You already have to do enough reading as it is so dont let this pollutant leak into your recreashytional space
3 Urinate your middot name in a snowshybank (This is especially entertaining for females)
4 Indulge yourself in otherwise decadent luxury Take a bubble bath for two days or until the snow melts--- whichever comes first Stuff yourself on chocolate raisins and lisshyten to Windham Hill until you beshycome comatose
5 Teach yourself to armpit-fart Let It Snow Lust after Vanna White and Pat Sajak while giving yourself a pedicure Fake a British accent while ordering a pizza
Well I could go on with these entershytaining suggestions all day but youve got the basic idea In essence a snowstorm can be compared to sexshyas long as youre prepared you can
stop worrying and enjoy yourself
On September 13 1 ~86i Sherman Smith died of boredom
in his neighborhood Laundromat ) -
Too bad he didnt know about middot Harvey Washbangers the Laundromat and
Pub where the fun never stops
Open 9AM to 12 Midnight 7 days a week Free Dryers M-F 9AM to 12 Noon ~~
1 Alt
LAUNDROMAT
e -
2114 Cumberland Ave Ort the Strip
Dry U51
Service A
t I
t I - I
t t
The Lame Manifesto 4 1988 Page 12
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key Manifesto $1issue Back issues RA VEN RECORDS avail Plain brown wrapper POB A Czars selection of vintage rec-8763 Knoxville TN 37996-4800 ords-tapes-CDs Come and browse
EVEN IF YOURE A JERK Universal Printing can make your Resume look as if you had class and taste We specialize in making dweeb-bobs look great 19th Street behind taco hell
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CLASSIFIED ADS are free of charge on a first come first served basis The Lame Monkey is not reponsible for any typographical or content errors NO ADS accepted by phone Mail to Lame Monkey PO Box 8763 Knoxville TN 37996-4800
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ROMANmiddotPHOTOS - REVUES - LlVRES -PRODUITSmiddot FILMS-LiNGERI X DE NOTRE PRODUCTION
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The Lame Mon WIN-A-OAT with
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K SEE PAGE 9 -
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a powerful placebo called
The Lame Monkey Manifesto
A pinch in her food or drink 8IId get ready lor instlln lovmaking Shea be tuned on fa hour of wild p8S$ion and IOlsoflovin Works so tast you should take some yourself No prescription Extra Sbong and safe to UN Speas fennul works on bot) sexes
STAY HARD (or soft) and CONTROL YOURSELF with BRAIN PRE WASHING~
A simple t8chnique Ihat any can learn in minutes Simply read the Lcnc Monkey oullood and passion is yoors
The Lame Monkey Manifesto -Your Monkey in the Middleshy
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The Lame Manifesto January 4 1988 Page 2
A Lettuh from do Edituh The Manifesto It is now the one year anniversary of
The Lame Monkey and we hope you have enjoyed us thus far Below is reprinted our statement of purpose from issue 1 I feel it ~still holds true You be the judge Thanks to all-readers advertisers and most importantly helpers-Eds A Manifesto is a published staJeshy
ment of purpose Its true that the ~meMonkey Manifesto fits this deshyscription vaguely at best Below we have published our reasons for exisshytance and we shall repeat them at the most from time to time However the title of the this paper shall retain its
Manifesto simply because it is far ingly silly name The -Lame Monkey more colorful than Times Journal or Manifesto is a definite underlying certainly Beacon and also because the profundity Let us explain publishers (us) happen to like it So The monkey is a symbol for the there overriding tone which the paper em-
If we must justify the rest of the bodies It is at once curious intellishytitle let us first state that this paper gent and humorous just as we strive was named as so many publications to make the material in the The Lame businesses and babies are these days Monkey Curious in that it-is quesshyThat is by the looking through a dic- tion raising and muck-raking intelshytionary and a thesaurus simultane- ligent in that it is informed and edushyously and pulling ou t exotic terms for ca ted and humorous in that it is not mundane things only funny and entertaining but also
If we must still proceed we may bears the indirect weapon of satire say that hidden beneath the seem- which helps to make up for the disad-
------- - --- ----A Statement of Purpose 1 Our first and foremost purpose
is to provide a source of entertail1shyment Our initial conception was that of a students dream-an extended funnies page engulfing an entire paper We are going to maintain a lighttone with the paper selecting the best humor writing submitted inshycluding comics and cartoons and sticking in anything else that we can get our hands on that is generally offshythe-wall and still relatively legal
2 Secondly we are providing a student forum We hope that the pages-of this paper will become a ring
wherein various campus factions will collide in many a blood-drawing litershyary battle We will do our best to pit liberal against conservative student against faculty engineer against artshyist religious organization against reshyligious organization and malcontent against the lJTfM administration We will invite all responsible conflicting comments
3 Thirdly we are providing an alshyternative source of campus related inshyformation We intend to provide the results of a student evaluations of inshystructors each quarter Also here you
Lettuhs to do Edituh DEAR PROPHET
1 ~
Prophet _ Sorry to beat on a dead horse I
read your letter recalled Doug Collins a~ticle [Se~ LM 1-5] got steamed and wrote this then saw Doug had pretty well addressed this issue in thisthat issue I cant let il good rant go to waste though
Look Ive about had it altogether with new age Christianity Yammer_ yaIl)Iller yammer God God God I think Ive something of an idea about how you regard your God and your relationship with Him as Ive spent a lot of time cha tting with Christian folk as devoutandmiddotdedtcated as your letter indicates you to be Well what of it Those are my credentials as an Unbeshyliever thats all as someone who wants~othing to do with Him (yes I capitalize for thats the grammatishycally done thing) but who has at least looked at what His folk offer My biggest beef my butt steak so to speak wi~ King Hoo-Hoo up there iuna big sky is one of the things you like about Him and its that which you so oh-the-error-of-his-ways -ly pointed out to Doug God gave us the choice between good arid evil IU say it again God lets us choose for our very own selves whether we do good or whether we do evil We can with but a simple opening of our hearts acknowledge Jesus Christ as our savshyior and He will enterinto us that we may be sav~ Its not an easy thing to d~~ nor is it easy to follow in Christs
footsteps however with the grace that He grants us in accepting Him we can live a Godly life But its our choice see He doesnt force us to love Him The vindictive shit He might as well have forced us How in this world or out of it can anyone accept a one or zero proposition like that Love me or rot in hell forever and a dayHell feel sorry for those of us consumed by never-consuming fire bu f after all he gave us a chance I feel no gratitude to Him for giving Q1e this wonderful freedom of choosing beshytween two things as if good and evil on and off yes and no were all there is to lifeafterlife Do you still beat your wife Yes or No America love it or leave it Death to all fanatics There are absolutely no absolutes You cant add apples and oranges Does a dog have a Buddha nature How do you feel about a professor who grades you onthe based on hisher granting you a choice between sleeping with him her or failing the class I dont go for propositions that are all-or-nothing and certainly not the carrot-on-theshyend-of-a-stick-with-a-whip-behind proposition And theres no way in Helltmdyes I do mean that literally thatJll respect anyone who forces me to make that choice who -presents such a choiCe as though it were given me for my benefit As Patti Smith so stunningly put~t Jesus dies formiddot somebodys sins but not mine
[signed] The Terrorist
may read about all of those obscure things that are happening on campus that you are probably interested in but cant find out anything about (provided someone submits someshything about them)
4 Another purpose of this paper is to abolish studentapathy We believe that a university is a place for more than books and stuffy profs College students should be involved in a wide variety of activities We would like to see things happening at UT besides church ice-cream sprees and intershydorm bowling leagues and we are
DEARJIT
Dear Jit I know that my nomination for
Jits Next Victim is the only logical choice Sean Miller (otherwise known as the Rugby Player from Hell)
It may piss him off but hey if he asks any questions-send them to me (Ill keep him in line)
Thank you for your support Elizabeth ps While you are victimizing
Sean please destroy his red Mazda RX7 as well
FACTSHEET FIVE
[The following is a reprint of the review TLM recently received in Factsheet Five (24) the national underground publication directory]
The Lame Monkey Manifesto Vol1 5 ($1 from PO Box 8763 Knshyoxville TN 37996-48(0) Its a relief to see a college tabloid thats supported neither by the administration or Joe Coors Yes this is an underground paper and though they do publish somemiddot miscellaneous humor and stoshyries they also publish the sort of things that make undergrounds great- things like unofficial class evaluations and ideas of screwing up the parking ticket system This could almost make going to the U ofTennesshyseebear~ble
vantages of being Lame Yes the Monkey is lame in that
there are certain constraints placed upon it that arise from the fact that many of the things that the paper is trying to do are frowned upon by greater authorities such as the lJTfM Overlords and Student Apathy our two deadliest poisons Thus the Monkey is not capable of directlyshyconfronting its adversaries and is therefore lame in a sense
The name of the paper properly explained we continue with our statement of purpose
going to do what little we can to stir things up around here
5 Lastly we hope that Tle Lame Monkey will provide a lever for the seemingly powerless UT student body We place in the hands of the UT students what forces publishing may offer that perhaps they may see to it that changes are made in their Unishyversity and environment to better suit them
( If you would like to contribute material of any type call or write Numbers in credit box on this page)
Enjoy (January 1987)
UPSET
Why dont you take your godshydamn paper and shove it up your ass No one want to read your commie ramblings anyway Why dont all of you get jobs and do something conshystructi ve instead of printing this kind of shit
[unsigned]
The Lame Monkey prints As Is we do not change the spelling of a word unless absolutely necessary (Additions Ommissions by Editors for claritylegality in [brackets]) Names withheld by request Addresses printed only by special request fyou have any comments regarding The Lame Monkey please write Lettuhs The Lame Monkey Manifesto PO Box 8763 Knoxville 1N 37996-4800
~~1~~~~~ni~~~~~~~~~~11i~~1J~1~~I~W~1~~tWf~~~~~~~~~mt~~ The Lame Monkey Manifesto Official Newsletter of The Friends of the IatM Monkey
-Editor Christopher Gray Entire Contents Copyrighted copy1987
All Rights Reserved
LayoutDesignetc Christopher Gray Instructor EvaluationsLance Bleds~
Bob Daedalus and the Friends of the Lame Monkey
Ad Sales Christopher Gray Barry Mitchell Facilities Universal Printing Company Printing Alliance Press
Circulation 5000 Funded entirely by our respected advertisers Cost Pistributed free to UT Students or $1 by mail in plain brown wrapper If you or someone you love would like to support the Lame Monkey through advertising we have reasonable rates Write POBox 8763 Knoxville TN 37996-4800 or call 637-4840 arid leave a message
Page 3 January 4 1988 The Lame Monkey Manifesto
Drop amp Add Checklist Highlights of Fall 1987 and Past
ations of Fall Quarter 1987 our latest Walker 1 100 Welcome to the Instructor Evalu-I Townsend 1 200
and greatest compilation For the Typical boring accountant uninitiated this survey contains 2130 Survey Managerial Cost Acct 1J evaluations of over 600 classes taken Redding 1 400
Tells you what you need to know during Fall Quarter as well as those Richardson 2 350 ~m regarded as Best Ever and Worst middot Tests are a bitch
Ever 3110 Intermed Finan Accounting Every effort has been made to Reeves 1 300
confirm course information and Teaches from the heart name spellings If there are mistakes Turpin 1 400 NC we apologize If you have received a Exceptional teacher Really tries to poor review and are disgruntled we help the student invite conflicting comments for our 3120 Intermed Finan Accounting 5 9 next issue Slagle 2 050 -1 -
Some people have argued that our efforts are pointless because our sur- 3210 vey lacks statistical accuracy We feel that this survey is useful not because of its flawless precision but because
Human thorazine He should test on lit trivia Managerial Cost Acc Reeve 1 200 Herring 350 Roth 400
its the only information of its kind 3430 Federal Income Tax available to the students If you Wolfe 1 400 would like it to be more reliableshyhelp out give us a call
Thanks to all who have participat ed and -spent massive amounts of
time most noteably Lance Bledsoe and Robert Daedalus See ya at the end of this quarter on the UC Plaza
How To Use This Information
Cool dude ADVERTISING 3000 Advertising Principles
Jackson 3 333 -07 liI Arrogant Really motivates students but has no taste in clothes Jumper- 1 400 JiiJll
Stankey 1 000 -40 9 He should get a mirror and take itshyaround No one is as cute as he thinks he is
11 0-75 71)-15 11)-25 26-35 30-40
2930 Bio of Human Race Jants 1 300 Dull material but good instructor
who grades with compassion
Ridinger 3 2 00 ~ Bit fromHell Too many notes difficult tests doesnt talk loud enough
3900 Human Osteology Bass 1 400
ffiIh 1520 Intro Astronomy Itl Harris 1 100
Highly instructive fun challengshying
ARCHITECTURE 1200 Arch Graphics
1201
2110
2114
2207
Shell 1 400 Learned more than I have in any other class Visual Design Princp Wells-Bowie 1 000 NC pound Bit Fund of Site Design Dunikowski 1 300 Comp Appl in Arch Henley 1 000 Oscar Mayer poster child Prof never showed up Arch Hist Lester 2 300 Too many facts Great lectures killer exams
~ Lester 400
ART 11 05 Sculpture
Nichols 400 2505 Lettering and Typography
Dull unpredictable tests 1610 Intro Astro wI Lab
McCorkle 1 100 Reads directly from book Ridinger 1 100 Bity
AUDIOSPEECH PATHOLOGY 3710 Audio I
Burchfield 431D St-St-Stutt~ing
Luper 1 Hard tests
400
400
4650 Sp amp Lang Cult Diff Ch Adler 1 400 Throws excellent parties
BASIC ENGINEERING 1310 Statics
Brooks 000 -20 Hes a fat insulting bastamp who hates freshmen so he fails them Taught freshman course on graduate level Carley 4 150 I
1 The first number next to the Instructors name is the total number of responses we had regarding that prof Remember the fewer people surveyed the more unreliable his her evaluation
4000 Adv Copy and Layout Jackson 1 400
ffljh Clarke 1 250 Itl 3777 Jap Art
Dislikes the human race Knows material boring as hell Abandon all hope ye who enter here Iendruko 2 150 + 15 I
2 The next number is the Grade Point Average of the Instructor The Inshystructors were graded on a scale of AshyF where A is 4 and P is O The total number of these quality points is divided by the total number of reshysponses much like the way your own GP A is figured 3 The + - NC numbers following (where applicable) compare this quarters GP A to last quarter (+ = how much better - = how worse NC = no change from last quarter) 4 The icon graphically represents an Instructors performance (0-75 Boom 76-15 Bird 16-25 Scale 26-35 Girl 36-40 Beer) 5 A Bullet () after an Instructors name means we could not confirm their teaching this class based on course listings available to the public 6 Comments are excerpts from comshyments given by our interviewees and do not necessarily reflect those of the oublishers etc 7 Enjoy
ACCOUNTING 2110
2110
Fund of Accounting Albright l middot 300 Explains well tries to help Fund of Accounting Hendiks- 1 300 Matthews 3 333
Hardass but worth it 4360 Adv Media
Kerr 1 300 5310 Current Issues in Adv
Taylor 1 400 Tough but highly educational
AFRO-AMERICAN STUDIES 2010 Intro to Afro-Arner StUd
Morrow 1 400 Good teacher protests student art
AGECON 4120 Farm Management
Keller 1 200 AGRICULTURAL ENGINEERING 3100 Seminar
Bledsoe 1 100 3610 Soil and Water Cons
Von Bumuth 2 400 3640 Power Units and Mach
Tompkins 1 400
ANTHROPOLOGY 2510 Human Origins
NC JiiJll Bass 4 400 Larned a lot of material without realizing I was learning it Great class tests picky on details when considering amt of material covered Hall 400 Interesting easy tests fun
2520 Pre Hist Archaeology
2530
Simek 1 400 Very interesting fair tests instructor has sense of humor Human Cultures Logan 8 394 Great lectures fair tests Really in tune with students No textbook
Martinson 200 Very dry lectures grades with compassion but course is dull
3905 Intermed Photography r Lee 2 400 NC Different from most profs in that he d(Jes what h~ teaches and does it terribly w~ll
ART EDUCATION 3100 Intro to Art Ed
Hull 1 350 Fun class easy tests no homeshywork
ASIAN STUDIES 2431 Arabic I
2510
Gwen- 400 Cancels classes and quizzes Asian Civilization HaoYoung 1 400 Very for non-Asian Studies
1320
1330
Knows what hes doing but doesnt want to explain it Tries to explain material Solimon 2 400 He likes students and I learned something Stoneking 2 Particle Jynarnics Boulet 1 Kim Soliman
1 4
300
000 100 400
+30 ~
-30
NC
pound I
ImP Works and explains problems wonderfully Good presentation of material Basic Th~odynarnics Stephens 1 200 ~ Doesnt prepare you for his testswp
Thomas 1 400 ~
Scott 2 350 +05 ~ Tries to communicate what the
majors 2520 Asian Civ
Hao Confusing
1 200
material is about Hard AT7 1410 Engineering Computations
-10 -~- Fortey- 1 300
ASTRONOMY 1510 Intro Astro ~
Jones 1 150 () Fairman 2 OQO NC ~ This woman is totally stupid She makes no sense in lecyene Harmatz 2 250 Ms Mono~ne but interesting subject easy tests Hartzman 1 400 Lide 4 125 Talks like he is drunk No contest the worst Prof in the 25 years Ive
_ been here Tests completely unfair living fossil
British Mak 400 NC Very nice class - slow and easy -but gradesmiddot hard Katz 1 100 Mobasher- 1 400 Kim 1 000
BIOCHEMISTRY 4110 Cell and Comp Biochemistry
Koontz 1 300 -05 JiI Very good clear lecturer is somewhat approachable noshynonsense when answering quesshytions
ContinUed Next Page
The Lame Manifesto
3600 Trans Planning Wegmann z 250 4210 Intro to Physical Biochem
Churchich 1 000
lSF CLASSICS 1110 Beginning Latin I
Sounds like Dracula on Valium Time would be better spent watching 3710
Too much hom~wqrk unclear lectures Materials of Construction
Craig 2 400 NC II Good sense of humor enthusiastic Hes wonderful you want to learn Rutledge 2 100 ) Arrogant and rude Knows his Latin but is very abrupt and impatient with students
renms of Lost in Space
BIOLOGY 1210 Gen Biology
Mescall Y 1 400
Knew the material made it interesting Rakes Shutemiddot
1 2
300 325
Very organized and patient 3120 Cell Biology
Jeon 3 200 Never explains material justS gives page numbers Hes a creationist if youre not dont take him
Doesnt write anything down Skims over things in lecture
Whitson 2 350 JiI Good but only teaches in the falL5hows slides in class to break monotony At least he laughs at l)is own jokes
3130 Gen Bio Etnier 400 Teaches with a beer in his hand
BOTANY 1110 Fund Botany
Sheetzmiddot 400 Too bad shes married
1118 Honors Fund Botany Jones 1 400
BROADCASTING 2720 Intro to Broadcasting
Moore 2 300 +05 ~ Very informative and lectures are very good Interesting class lectures not based on assigned reading
3360 TV and Radio Advertising 9 Howard 1 000 shy
Time consuming bullshit assign-ments
3650 TV and Radio Writing Holt 1 000 Material has no useful value
4030 TV Production G Johnson 1 400 Best Ive ever had Really teaches really cares
4680 Brd Sales Mgt Holt I 100 Material has no useful value
5620 Broad Law Moore 1 300 Tries to make class interesting but material not interesting
BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION 3110 Intro to International Bus
4110
Dicer 1 400 Presents material in interesting manner Uses real life situations Envir Business Law
-Stowers 1 100 Rambling
CIVIL ENGINEERING 2260 Surveying
Chatterjee Grecco
200 100
Videotaped courses suck 3210 Anal of Framed Str
Moore l1 f 26i ~ Boring as hell Look at old tests and
labs _ 4230 Legal amp Etlubl Aspcts of En
Kressin 1 200 -10 lSF Be prepared for class discussion
4410 Deft Stat Indeter Str Johnson - 2 250
4540 Computer Utilizl1ion Bennett 1 400 Resume boost
2220 Greek Myth Tandy
2230 Greek Myth 400
Tandy 2 400 Great job explaining myths Interesting and funny
2510 Greek Lit w Eng Trans 4640 Traffic Engr
Wegmann 1 400 Rutledge 1 350
II 3340 Cities of Greek ampRoman Wrld Clear fair concise
5430 Const Mmngt Deatherage 1 200
CHEMISTRY 111 0 Gen Chemistry
Chambers 1 400 Good lectures funny man Assumes students are idigtts Kleinfelter 8 038 Terrible Cant explain it and you never meet him Going to class is useless ~You just try to ask a question iTIisier Those damn TVs ZZZZZZ Extremely boring Good class for sleeping Adcock 2 250 lSF Good lectures Quizzes taken from notes Tests are unfair
1118 Honors Gen Chern
1120
Lane 2 400 I failed his class but hes still a great teacher Treats students like they are bright General Chemistry Q -Kleinfelter 2 000 Pagni 000 pound Talks in amonotone only addresses the first two rows Could not care less
t 130 Gen Chern Cook 000 NC
1520
2140
3211
3221
Doesnt have a clue crazy as hell Kleinfelter 2 000 -20 pound Give him the same he gave me Gen Org Bio Chern Kalbalka 1 400 Anal Chemistry Sepaniak 1 200 Never around for consultation in a difficult class Organic Chemistry Bartmess 1 200 Boring and confusing Eastham 1 000 -30 pound Eastham doesnt know how to teach Lane 2 400 Great instructor Makes organic interesting Magid - 1 400 Organic Chemistry Kabalka 1 400
3231 Drgaruc Chemistry
Gesell 1 200 NC lSF Dry long lectures Whole class is taught by slides which is somewhat fun Subject is fascinating if youre into architecture
4050 Directed Readings in Greek Tandy 1 400
4310 Selected Readings inLatin Lit Rutledge 1 300 ~
COMMUNICATIONS Ill 0 Intro to Comm
Holt 2 400 Easy if you attend class The guys a riot
COMPU1ER SCIENCE 1410
1510
1620
2215
Intro Bus Orient Prog Brumgard 1 200 Cant relate info to students Rodriguez 1 000 pie scum Sledjeski 3 400 Great buns Dating material
Q Intro to FORTRAN Brumgarsmiddot 1 000 Intermed Structure Prog Mayo 1 400 I Good pace instructor didnt expect too much or too little Discrete Structures Thomason 1 000 pound Teacher was dead on his feet No energy no interest no A
3025 Computers and Society
3150
3155
3410
Ploch 3 200 Must be difficult to make an extremely boring subject interestshying Boring yet useless Intro Num Algor and Prob Hines 1 000 Needs to die a screaming death1ffih Ghatak 1 400 JtjJ
Kumarmiddot 1 100 ~) Youll get at least a D or a C but you wont learn anything Intro Num Algor and Prob Alexiades 1 300 JiI Makes impossible understandable
COBOL Baker 2 250 What a hard ass Hard to get hold of for help
3520 Assembly Language Program Binder 2 375 Tames a bitch really well
3910 Com Comp Conc Control
Goodpasture 1 400
Eastham 1 000 -35 pound The water spigot and the heater will both get As
I CHINESE Galbraith 1 150 Personality of a diaItone
Fair tests easy material 3230 Design of Framed Str
Goodpasture 1 300 Look at old tests
2531 Beg Chinese Bokenkamp 400 Easily the best teacher Ie ever had
ECOLOGY 5100 Special Probs
Packard 350
4 1988 Page 4
ECONOMICS 2510 Intro to Econ
Cole 8 313 - Jil Great lectures but confusing tests Boring subject but he explains it well Deprez 6 298 Great ~eacher Phillips 5 21 0 -12 lSF Multiple choice tests fairly easy Long lectures hard tests Talks
fast lut good WorrieS too much about his boats Boring egotistishycal
2520 Intro to Econ Clark 2 200 +04 lSF Knows his stuff but should come with No-Doze pills Wouldnt let _ us see our tests after we took them Deprez 2 225 +23 lSF
This guy is a clown Phillips 2 350 +20 ~ Hard to understand I never went to class just read the book I still got an A ~
3110 Intermed Micro Theory
3340
Glustoff 5 080 +03 ) Impossible exams instructor paced the room and confused students more than taught Dont bother going to class Waste of time going to class buy the book Just study his workbook Govt and Business Brown 1 400 I Very enthusiastic
4233 Poli Econ USSR amp Est Europe Feiwel 1 100 () Poor communicator very repetishytive
EDUC CURRIC AND INSTRUCT 3021 School In the Amer Society
Dellinger 1 300 4304 Dev Reading Ski Cont Field
Ryan 1 300
EDUC amp COUNSELINQ PSYCH 3002 Ed Psych
Poppenfho 1 400
ELECTRICAL ENGINEERING 2010 Circuits I
2020
2030
Adams 7 257 Cant even copy off his own notes
Grading system a little screwed but he is a good teacher Fair teacher gets confused easily R~lates well to circuit elements Googe 2 400 Googe is cool as hell Roberts 1 000 Horrifying tests Circuits II Bishop 3 267 +04 _l~ Eager to teach Great instructor Only class where I actually learn~ something He will dick students completely Circuits III Googe 400 NC
3010 Transient Anal I
II Googe 3 400 + 10 Explains completely Googe is cool
3040 - Basic Comm Syst McCullough 1 000 pound Worse class ever Terrible teacher impossible tests and shes $ I Tillman 1 000 JZ 10 weeks of aimless babbling
learn shit
Page 5 41988 The Lame Manifesto
Number right of instructors name is the total numbered surveyed Next over Is the Instructors Grade point Average far right is GPAs icon Next + is better - is worse and NC is steady compared to last quarters GPA Bullets ( ) designate instructors not confirmed as teaching listed class 0-75 76-15
D 16-25 26-35 36-lt10
3050
3060
3080
3090
3100
3110
Koch 200 Too much homework tests difficult Basic Field Theory Neff 5 300 +10Jif lusts ulncs doesnt teach Knows the material but doesnt teach it well Reads his own book but will help if interested Too easy Tillman 1 000 Didnt learn anything Propagation Tillman 2 125 Poor lecturer removed from reality not very relevant to this universe Power Patton 2 050 Expects too much for an intro class teaches like it is a grad class Teacher lacks ability to communishycate what he knows Rude to students who challenge his understanding Power Bailey l 300 +20Jif Very reJaxed style Symonds 2 350 Like having class with Monty Python Random Signals Hoffman 3 033 -32 pound Bad instructor horrible book Nice guy but worthl~ss as an instructor Circuits and Fields Googe 1 - 400 Abidi 3 300 Fair but incredibly abrasive
3120 Electronics
3180
3190
Waller 4 250 Mr Microphone One wordshyBoring Logic Design McCullough 2 250 +05 6p Needs to slow lecture down -Plasmal Alexeff 3 367 Makes learning fun Roth 4 100
+07 I
Doesnt care about students understanding only about getting thru the syllabus Only he uh knows uh what the uh hell he is uh talking about
3720 Linear Systems Anal Neff 2 350 Excellant in every category
3810 Electronics I Mukund 2 Blalock 2
400 200
NC
Assumes you take 3 hrs a quarter 3820 Electronics IT
Pierce 400 +30 I Learned things apply to real world
3830 Electronics ill Rochelle 5 380 -02 ~ Excellent teacher Workable projects Learned a lot Better than Pierce
4470 MHD
4600
4630
Akxeff 2 300 He enjoys teaching Cool guy too much vector analysis Analog Signal Processing Blaylock 2 200 Great teacher but digresses endlessly Compo Syst Org Bodenheimr 4 350 ~tiI Very usefur info GREAT instrucshytor Tough but applicable projects
4700 Digital Integrated Electronics Blalock 1 400 Interesting material good book
4740 Integrated Circuits KeJlI)edy 1 400 +20 II
4850 Small Computer Systems Bishop 1 200 If youre a computer jock you probably know more than Bishop
ENGLISH 1010 Eng Comp
Datzmiddot 000 9 - doesnt know material treats us like 3id graders Rohloftmiddot 1 - 400 One of the best Anderson 1 400 + 10 I Very off-the-wall but lots of fun Culberson 2 350 ~ EBest Ive ever had She made me like English Cullettemiddot 400 Fun as hell butkinda weird I) Davis 1 100 Demastes 2 325 -08 Jif Funny fair Boring fairly easy Duvall 1 100 (I Its not just the instructor the class itinerary sucks monkey turds Eckhardt 1 400 I Great dresser Elvis Costello fan interesting topics Fogelman 1 300 Haney 200 Doesnt teach English Babbles about works she has read Hardwig 1 300 The woman is nuts Lomanginomiddot 1 300 Fun in class but killer grading McKinstymiddot 1 400 I Extremely good bull Pigg 1 000 NC pound Knowledgable but obnoxious Stone 2 400 I Lee 1 200 ~ Good but too emotional Slagle 1 300 She gets better as the quarter goes on
1018 Honors English Comp
1020
1031
1032
1033
Lewis 1 300 Shes not big on deadlines Stillman 1 200 6p Knowledgeable but intolerant Ki~s his ass and youll do fine Zomchick 1 300 Very intelligent but opinionated English Comp Carroll 1 350 Learned a lot Thinks he is Shakespeare Elkin 1 Irwin 1
400 400
Class never moved that nice before Powell 400
I I
Is aware of students presence and talks to them personally Swainmiddot 1 350 Comes from the hippie generation(Cool teacher) English COinp Farriermiddot 1 100 English Comp Sprague 1 250 A f bitmiddot who ogles guys Tech Writing Blankenship 1 370 Fair and friendly
V Brentano 1 Ball 1
200 -20 6p
400 I Useful infonnative Little to no BS assignments
1038 _ Honors English Comp Zomchick 1 400 Lively thoughtcprovoking
- discussions and my writing actually improved
1451 Eng Comp Williamsonmiddot 1 400 II Fantastic teacher Only class Ive had at UT where I felt no pressure
2510 English Masterpieces -poundif 1rJl
2520
2531
2660
Clark 1 300 Eckhart 400
Simpson 1 middot 400 II Fantastic I really liked this class Tschantz 1 2006p English Masterpieces Lafaro 1 000 pound Arner Masterpieces Bullard 1 350 Boring but pretty good Intro to Drama Carol 1 370
2680 Intro to Novels HlIITllriontree 2 200
One person forum Perverted readings intense lectures lotsa work
3110 Fluid Mech BakerAI 29 362 Highly recommended Fair tests Gets excited about water Best dressed Engr prof on campus Strict about homework Lots of learning Forrester 000 Did not present material clearly
3311 Mechanics of Materials Brooks 3 067 Duhhhhh Hes a geek Presentashytion of material is so bad Hodgson 100 -Doesnt teach anything Landes 4 350 Great Helpful Patient Were having a pizza party Mathews 3 000 -10 Good for sleePing Pih 6 000 NC Ahole to an extreme Likes to give Fs Bad attitude Wasserman i 400
3320 Mechanics of Materials Mathews 2 middot 150 When youre roommate only goes to class twice and gets an A and you go all quarter and get aD its bad
Time flies Penner 200
6p 3410 Intro Biomed Engr Wasserman 5 320
Knows material but too infatuated with own opinion
2690 Intro to Film Studies Holtzclaw 2 200 -20 6p Class is too difficult for 2000 level I wish I didnt have to take it Maland 2 350 Interesting and interested
3042 Colloq in Literature Heffernan 1 400 Instructor managed to blend English history and philosophy into one extraordinary class
Likes to break legs Best Ive ever had
3700 Dynamics Forrester 1 300 Concerned about basics Kim 2 200 -20 LSllgt Not easy but fair Soliman 2 400 Best teacher I have ever had at UT
4710 Vibration BrQoks 4 225 qzgt
3045 _ Intro to Literary Criticism Dunn 1 200 6p 4810
No way to talk to him outside class doesnt teach middothell Engr Anal Wasserman Rather abstract 400
I FINANCE 3120 Business Finance
3435 Film and Arner Culture Maland 1 400
3840 Adv Writing Lewis
3850 Persuasive Writing 300
Bensel-Mey 1 300 Knows her stuff course structure great
4020 Shakespeare
4140
4651
Carroll
Dynamic teacher Adv Tech Writing Riley 1 SamSon Southern Lit
400
400 300
Ensor 2 350
NC
ENVIRONMENT ENGINEERING 3120 Hydraulics
Fredrick 1 400 3330 Elem Hydrology
Frederick 1 300 4030 Envr Engr Chem
- Robinson 1 400
ESM 2720 Dynamics
Pih 3 000 Dr Pih is a ridiculous excuse for a teacher Remenjik 1 000 Has zero insight into students perspective Absolutely cannot communicate
3130
3510
Newman 2 400 Takes the students into considera-tion and teaches them what is important Shao 200 Says clearly too much Bus Finance Trimble 300 Moody Clayton 000 Bring crossword puzzle to class For such an interesting subject he makes it extremely dull Boehmmiddot 1 200 Laid back but boring as hell
Zagagi R 2 000 He doesnt speak English and he doesnt know what the hell he is doing An easy course made difficult US Finan System Newman 3 400 Really cares about students Vines 1 300 -10 Tests can be a bitch Black 1 100 If you want to leam and fail this class is for you
ContinUed Next Page
I
1
The Lame
4110 Investment Anal Hogan 1 400 Hilarious This guys a riot
4840 Real Estate Investment Goolsby 1 300 30 Easy but he put me to sleep
FORESTRY 1620 Intro to Forr
Hay 350 FRENCH -1110
2110
ElemFrench Rabo 1 100 Expects perfection frrst day Intermed French Curry 4 325 Helps a lot Tries hard very boring Genuiriely interested in tellching Hottel 400 Interesting fun class Petrovska 1 000
II
JiI
JiI
You must speak perfect French one mistake = F Striblingmiddot 400 Great sense of humor
2120 Intermed French Petrovska 1 000 Slavic bit who kicked Satan out
1 of Hell
2910 F~nch Lit with Eng Trans WIllace 1 350
GEOGRAPHY 1610 Intro to Geography
Jumper 2 250 Fair but Spe~ too softly
1620 Intro to Geography - Rehder 3 367
Fridays are Hawaiian days Keeps theclass awake with lots of humQr
Used hundreds of slides I felt like Id beeIlaround the world Geo of Nat Envir Hom 3 233 Enthusiastic interesting has high expectations of students Waste of time going to lectures youll fall asleep
2130 Economic Geography
3530
3940
4740
5150
Bell 5 140 filird to take notes Boring mtmdane Covers material too
fast Ralston _ 1 400 +07 D All around gOod guy Land-Surface System and Man Harden 1 400 IilP Interesting and informative leCturer Geo of the Appalachia Brinkman 1 200 No textbook all reserve reading Interesting but tough class Remote Sensing Rehder 2 350 Rehders cool lots of slides Good guy
Intro Geog Research 9 AikenFores 2 050 -Makes Gulag look like Club Med more bullshit than a feedlot A terror
GEOLOGY 1010 Gen Geology
Kopp 1 100 Tries to trick students Dick-
head
Misra 3 267 liI Miller 2 400 NC II Does not tmdeistand grading Great lady Opened my eyes to the process Not bad Has rouble way the world and society really speaking English operate
Williams 2 200 ~ 1610 World Civ The good thing about this class is Farris 300 JlI that Life is short and this cl~s makes Cant afford to miss the lectures
Page 6
LINGUISTICS 2000 Lang Lingsts and Society
Dumas l 400 MANAGEMENT
fgt 3010 Principles of Management
Reed 2 150 Cranky old man Great speaking voice stated info clearly iKeem so long 2015 Hist Issues
Gen Geology pound Farr 1 400 1030 Prod Manageme)1t Noon 1 400
IrP 3110
Broadhead 1 000 2510 History of US I J9 Snotty arrogant afld non-caring Finger 2 350 _ Geo of N atl Parks Keeps you on your toes but I do Clark 1 400 II feel I learned something Every student should hear this Wheeler 1 400 teaching phenomenon 3140 English History Geol fgr Engineers At7 Pickney 2 350 Byerly 3 200 - - Take the class if you have the Good lab wasted lecture too boring interest
2410
for a 750 About as exciting as a 3150 England
rock Pickney 1 300 4550 Optical Minearalogy Really knows and enjoys teaching
Clark 1 400 I 3160 England 1832- Present
GERMAN Bohstedt 1 300 -10 JiI 1110 Elem Germ Realiy knows his stuff
00 9 H Harris 1 O - 3470 Russian Story Hodges 1 400 IiJ Chmielewsk 2 000 pound
2110 Intermed Germ Prof belittles students tests were Cather 1 4 Q9 I horrible students have no chance of Really wants to help passing
2120 Intermed German 00 A 3650 Civil W iJr and Rl eco~ 00 I
Hard but good Really cute Makund 1 000 pound ZuzzL
MANAGEMENT SCIENCE 2110 Decision Models
Stmdaro 1 000 Ho 200 Out in Twilight Zone
MARKETING 3110 Intro to Marketing
3120
Fine 1 300 Explains well Clemons 1 000 Eliminate Scott Clemons Marketing ~gt McMillan 2 150
9 -Rough but a great curve ~Boring rud~ Peters 4 200
Lauckner 1 1 1 Muldowny
Strange woman hard as hell Tough tests but he knows his stuff 3310 311 0 Intro to German Lit and lectures well
Bats eyes too much Lectures do not pertain to tests She knows her subject and appreciates her students Marketing Channels
Osbornemiddot 1 400 Jrjl 3931 US Hist WW II to Presellt J
Instructor is ~ery interested in his Johnson I 300 -05 El
sub]ectand siudents Enjoys teaching and material GRAPIDCS 4370 US Military History - 1410 EngrGraphicsI Johnson middot 1 400 NC II
Foster l 350 Jjf HUMAN ECOLOGy Teacher moved slowly and 1510 Human Dev
expl~ed ~swell lit Howell 1 30fJ Lyday 1 400 ItJ HUMAN SERVICES Cool guy Knows middotms shit Tries to 2n90 Inlro to Human Serv
- make EstabrookUaJl le~s ofa hole Knonick 1 400 NC 1 I-IEAL 11I had some really good stOri~ to 3510 Schooi Community Health ltgt relatihis topics
Aghamemiddot 1 000 - INDUSTRIAL ENGINEERING Thinks the overhead projector is the 3600 Motion and Time studies latest innovation in education Doulet 1 400
mSTORY 4150 Proj CompCPM andPert 1510 Western Civ I Kirby 1 100
Bing 2 100 + 10 ) 4520 Engineering Economy JfI lncoherent lectures butBing Ford 1 300
expectsmiddot very coherent fmal and mid- Doulet 3 367 ()3 Ji term anSwers ~ts of real life examples Farr 400 D ITALIAN The dude is in~ 9 1110 Elem Ita Haas 1 000 NC - Maria 1 300 Hitler-in-training A boy from Average cares about progress
brazil Pavlicelli 1 400 I McDonald 1 400 NC II Shes beautiful What a guy Fun knows things JAPANESE Pickney 5 350 JfI 2631 Elem Jap Fairest of all gives extra credit Ericson 1 400 Fuck Haas Bingmiddot Wry humor Interesting easy tesK makes a dull subject interesting JOURNALISM Brummett 2 300 Jjf 2215 Basic News Writing Get ready to read your ass off Caudill 1 000
1518 Honors Western Civ I Hufford 400
Shepherd 2 250 -05 ~ OK but Thinks hes groovy
3410 Buyer Behavior ~ Speck 1 400
Teughtests but great lectures 3510 Muketing Research
Faulds 1 100 -10 (gt 4140 Sales ForCe MlIJ)llgementmiddot
G~al 1 300 NC ~ Toomuch readirig
4610 Marlcet Opp Anal Rentz 1 300
MATERIALS SCIENCE 2030 Process Prinep and Materials
SPruiell 1 200 Defmition freak
211 0 Engr Materials I Becker 5 000 Takes out frustrations on students teaches way over sophomores head No one deserves this Loses you inlecture in 2 seconds
Doesnt give a shit about students Jumps all over you if you ask a question Talks in circles makes class too hard Benson 1 000
Arrogant SOB
Buchanan 1 400 Made the best of an average class
Fair grades and very tmderstandshy able
3130 Engr Materials ill Ashbee 1 000 -07 pound Borie 3 333 +03 poundif Hes cool as hell Fair tests and grades
Trainer 3 100 -03 ) Good and the TA is cute Hateful snobby high and mighty 3720 Adv Pub Relati~ 9 1140 Basic Math Couldnt care less about studentS Wolfe 1 000 _ Borthwick 1 O()()
MAW
Teacher was egotistical tmfair Slave driver Would have fit in well ~Bi~ prejudiced totally unprofes-pompous and boring in a Nazi camp
1520 Western Civ II lfi 4410 Mass Media and Society 1150 Bohstedt 2 400 lA Singletary 1 100 ) Very interested professional Worst excuse for a teacher Ive ever learned people seen
sional StatisJicll Reason Smith lC 1 000 I would not wish this heathen on my worst enemy
I I I
January 4 1988
Number right of instructors name is the total numbered suNeyed Next over is the Instructors Grade point Average far right is GPAs Icon Negt9 + is better - is worse ond NC is steady compared to last quarters GPA Bullets ( ) designate Instructors not confirmed as teaching listed class 0-7570-15
2840 Multivariable Calculus Anderson 1 400
1540 College Algebra Anderson 3 237 Dont need to go to lecture I would give him an F but I got a few good naps out of it
Dassioso 1 000 pound He speaks Greek and skips around on derivations
100 +10 ~ Harris 1 Harrington 1 300 JS Easy course teacher works Doesnt realize students are there anything_ Kuo - 1300 19 Smith 1 190 SIa Boring but a great class for
1550 Intro to Calculus working cross-word puzzleseasy
Brown 1 200 qz tests ~ Crump 1 400 Ii) Moziao 1 100 Gross 1 200 qz Travis 2 050 pound Yuck Confusing lectures Gives tests that Matthews 2 250 ~ require reading the entire book
Very hard to understand when he 2850 Multivariable Calculus shows up Alquiza 1 100 ~ Rowo 1 000 pound Very poor teacher Biased against
He teaches like an ostrich flies hes select students supposed to but he just doesnt get Anderson - 1 300 JjI around to it Great teacher but tests are rough
1560 Intro to Calculus Dydak 1 300 -10 ~ Caruth 1 380 trnJ El-Duma 1 000 pound Dosso 1 000 pound Retnam 1 100 ~ Row 1 000 2 Very hard to understand Never
1700 Pre-calculus changes clothes Coffee 1 200 qz Schippo 1 100 Mr Monotone bring a stiff drink or 2860 Multivariable Calculus a cup of coffee Alexiades 3 233 Dobbs 2 150 ~ ~ Decent teacher but you have to Doemt know how to explain work to get him interested No
anything moves too fast Great sYlabus No practicalc-applicatioris
sense of humor Alquiza 1 too ~ 1840 Single Variable Calculus Great teacher lousy tests
Coffee J O OOl~ i pound Bales - 1000middot pound Doemt like to teach 6 out of 50 Prof was abolrt as iRteresting and passed class persC1lable as a dead fish Taught out Daverman 2 150 ~ _ of thebOok~ Subject was stupid
Acts like an ex -chuggie hav ing numbeT tricks middotDTs middot Dalnis 3 Hintonlt 1 400 Ft McConnell 1
jjI 267 r
Q9O -33 ( ~
N~lte guy explains it very well Keller- middot l 100 ~ Huh The instrU~tor is a boring
wimpy monotonous dweeb Morris 1 400 tl) Made math a great experience PrestOno 1 400 trIl Sense of humor gets material across very well Extremely professional Stephenson 1 300 JjI Explains well goes slowly Wade 2 400 liiI Great professor He made the class interesting and understandable Zoran 1 400 D Funny He wore the samepants all quarter
Presentation of material was very
pOor 3155 Intro to Nwn Algor
Sonio 1 000 3310 Adv EuclideanGepm
Mulay 1200 3550 InteIDlediate Anal
Som R 1 000 Dr Soni is a total idiot
pound 3560middot middotIntermediate An~
Soni R 1 000
pound 4050 Matrix Algebra Appl McConnel 4 075 Incoherent Never let the class out on time Too strict in graiing Unwilling to answer questions or do examples
4250 - Intr Complex Anal Stepheson - 1 200
1841 Calculus for Biology Majors
1850
1860
2110
Kot 1 300 Good but gets sidetracked Single Variable Calculus Alquiza 1 200 Mulayo 000 Smith 100 Hes weird Single Variable Calculus Boriango 2 400 Great teacher learned a lot My God shes fair
Too much outside work required 4610 DiffEq
Simpson H 2 400 II Dassios had me sO messed up I couldnt do squat Now it all makes sense Great teacher but needs to work on his posture~
MEC~CALENGThffiERmG 3311 Engr Thermo
Amin 1 000 pound The wors~cher Impossible to McKinnyo l 400 tl)
~ 2 250 ~ - -S~tftmiddot t - ttOO ~- pound Arrogant son-of-a-bitA who did not
J~-tnOf~k questions -Hodgson 2 250 1 qz
know the material He encouraged everyone to drop hiS class Structure of Number System Stevens I 350
Not too willing to help students one-on one TestS are too hard
3330 ~grThenno Nguyen 2 150 -15 ~ Nice guy bad teacher
3520 Thermal Sciences Kektar 5 180 qzgt Decent Lame and hopeless
3530 Thermal Sciences Arnin 1 300 Jjf
3540 Heat Transfer bull Keyhani 3 233 qz Good instructor too arrogant
3620 Dynamics Becker 1 200 qz
3630 Mechanics of Machinery Holland 1 400 Ii) Excellant lots of stories
4511 Systems Smith 1 400 D A good guy
4670 Machine Elements Holland 1 100 ~ Always off on a tangent You have
middotto teach yourself grades easy
MICROBIOLOGY 2910 Gen Microbio
McMahOn 1 200 qz Never there- out making babies
4270 Immunology Wust ~ 2 100 ~ Lost In Space If he talked any faster hed explode Its not if the ans~er is right or wrong its if he likes it
MILITARY SCIENCE 1110 Fund Military Org
Benton 1 350 -05 A Hamilton Martin
1 350 -05 JiI 1 400 81
A great American hero 2110 Leadershlp Development
Ro~ 1 400 Etassroom of raw unbridled
bored
il l
tol R
middot JAME~middot 0 ~~C~(N
~Cgt
Buy 5pound- Lmiddot
rRAUpoundt-Ps (IiSSCrrf5middot cos
EHIND WAtCrRE N
The Lame nnII L Manifesto
llnP 16-25 26-35 3 1)middot40
MUSIC 1000 Fund Music Thoory
Hawthorne 1 200 ~ Good instructor very fair on testing a lotto be learned about music clt
1210 Music Appreciation Sadie 1 300 It Trevor l 300NC Jt Is never there
1230 History of Rock amp Roll Young 7 343 lll Great prof -rough tests Greit class Hes on drugs and on the rag Weird and w~ird TA
3652 Campus Band Sparks 2 150 -05 (gt Jerk Two-faced tells bad jokes Music choice is good tho
3657 Marching Band Julian 1 000 pound Not a human being
3950 Evolution ofJ~ Coker 1 400 l1fll Great sax player good jokes
NUTRITION 1010 Food Principles
Costello 1 400 NC D Great course great teacher
2210 Intro Trns Fd -Lodg Adinin Jones 1 loPO S
3210 Food Service Sys Mmg I~ Sneed l 200
PHYSICAL EDUCA nON 2707 El~entary Badmitoh
Trappmann 1 200 Crazy middotNazi
~
f
oPt A rf~R
NOON
---
~
~-
The Lame Monkey Manifesto
2772 Intenned Swimming Zhu 1 100
2781 Elem Tennis
3610 Electronics Elston SB 1 300 Two hour lectures zzzzzzz
Curtis 2 225 qz PLANT AND SOn SCIENCE She flirts with all the guys Doesnt help at all during class Schoonmak~ 1 300 m
2782 Intenned Tennis Penna 1 350 A
PHllOSOPHY 1510 Intro Philosophy
+20 qz ~
15 qz
Brenkert 1 200 Green l 300 Hamlin 2 250 Strange fonnat for class Hilliardmiddot 1 400 Interesting as a person teacher and friend Postow 1 100 Cure for insomnia
1511 Human Conditions Van deVate 1 300 -10 JjI Challenging but reasonable
1810 Intro-Symbolic Logic
2510
Grunfeldmiddot 1 000 Its gibberish I cant see the reasoning for taking this ElemLogic Grunfeld 4 325 Pair tests confusing lectures Roddymiddot l 100
2130 Soils Graveel 1 400 NC Jl)
POLITICAL SCIENCE 2020 Intro to Peli Sci
Allende 1 200 Hard to understand
2510 US Govt and Politics Robinson 1 200 NC qz Subject could be interesting but class time is not Scheb 1 200 Dull really knows how to kill a subject
2518 Honors US Govt Poli
2520
3130
Ungs 1 300 Good discussions sometimes too dry New Deal liberal but faiT US Govt and Politics Gant 1 400 +40 Jl) Very entertaining and inspiring made a dull subject fun Plaas 1 300 A Simonesmiddot 400 Jl) Dynamic lecturer Fun exciting stimulating motivating Pop Culture and Amer Politics Fittgerald 2 400 NC Jl) Exhibits the true defInition of what
3111 Boring never comes to class Ancient West Philo Van de Vate 1 400 Brilliant challenging teacher Ethics aand Society
a professor should be pound 3390 Coritemp Issues
PittgeraldIR 9 400 +03 Iib 3440
Postowmiddot 1 200 qz OK lecturer but he is confusing or confused
PHYSICS 1210 Intro Physics
Nielsen 4 075 -13 pound
2210
Its like being buried in an anthill then dipped in turpentine and set ablaze Lectures pointless This is a fucking intro course Loses approx 50 of all work turned in Still uses a slide rule Elements of Physics Childers 3 133 Boring and disorganiz~d
2310 Fund Physics Childers 1 100
2318
2320
2330
3110
Memorize everything including all equations Stelson 4 175 Cannot teach Easy tests Thompson 6 133 Brilliant physicist but a pitiful instructor To this day (5 days before fmals) 1 have no idea what the man is talking about Honors Fund Physics Riedinger 1 400 +20 Iib Fund Physics Calcott 200 +03 qz Decent lecturer but dont ask him a
question King 4 400 Jl) Better than anyone else teaching the course Elem of Physics Handler 3 333 ~ Good teaCher good partial credit Mechanics Shih 1 200 qz The bOok was better
3545
3546
This is not a class this is an emotional expierence ReaIly into material gives kick-ass lectures Constitutional Law Series SchebSteph 2 400 NC Jl) Good lectures fair tests Constitutional Law Series StephenS 1 200 Nice man pathetic format
3605 Pol Chan in Dev Areas
3631
3712
4410
Dodd 1 400 Likes the subject Gov and Pol of Sov Union Piennan 1 300 Grades much too tough US For Pol Processes Peterson 1 400 Good teacher good subject Law and Admin Pro Ungs 1 400 Interesting issues
4665 Public Policy Smith 2 350 Intelligent man difficult class new perspectivesAs conservative as Hell
PORTUGESE 1510 Elem Portugese
Rodiiguez 1 400 i1l The best teacher to teach Portu-guese to a bunch of sloppy disinter-ested students
1520 Elem Portugese Julian 3 367 Jl) Boa tarde Simply the best She cares about her students
PSYCHOLOGY 2500 Gen Psych
Henley 3 400 + 10 ~ Interesting approach brings it down to a personal ievel Phillipeamiddot 1 350 lB
~- -- ---- -~ - - -- ---- - -- --- -- ~ -- -
January 4 1988
2518 Honors Gen Psych Calhoun 1 400 I Small individualized class he makes it fun with jokes and stories
2520 Bio Poundation of Behavior Shrader 1 350 JiI VanCleave 2 400 NC Jl) Made the class more than just facts
2530 Psych as a Social Science VanCleave 2 3 85 Jl)
2540 Psych of Indiv Smith M 1 400 Jl) Take during the mini-tenn(with the football team) Anything Smith teaches is an middotA
3120 SQcialPsych Eissenberg 300 ~tif Good instructor but needs voice training
3150 Psych Statistics Handel 1 300 J)f Good teacher but his tests arent always overwhat he ~ught Smith M 2 400 NC ~ Good teacher and the fmal was a take-home
3210 Learning and Thinking middotMalone 1 400 NC Jl) Pollio 1 400 Jl]l Good class if youre going to make a career of going to school Smith M 4 325 J9 I think hes on LSD Very interesting kept my attention
3550 Child Psych Wahler 400 ~
3650
4230
Abnonnal Psych Wiberly 1 000 pound Prof was good but text book and subject matter offensive Sensory Proc amp Percep A Handel 2 150
When couldnt explain dropped into mathematical analogies Tests over what he wishes he could teach
4510 Personality Theories McIntyre 1 200 qz Extreme feminist strange person
4830 Hist and Sys of Psych Malone 2 300 ~m Intense lectures sinful tests
RECREATION 3100 Recre Leadership Proc
Cox 1 000 pound Lectures out of-book word for word
RELIGIOUS STUDIES 2120 Pounders in Religion
Linge 1 300 J9 Good speaker learned a lot
3021 Relig Myths Symbls and Rit Lusby 2 400 I Interesting and thought provoking Im in love with his mind
3311 Images of Jesus Dungan 1 400 Jl) P ascinating
3370 Intro to Christianity Linge 2 150 ) Disorganized all info for exams not discussed in class
7w WI ~ tu6 _j ~ t yu ~t ~ ~~ ~ tupound~ ~iIf Y~~~~tCOUtl
[jjj [JlJ 0 WI [f ~ ampJ 0 [p)71DmrflofJi) l ~9tA Y~ 38ru4u1 ~ 38e11 ~~IF~~it
January 4 1988 The Lame Monkey Manifesto
Number right of instructors name Is the jotal numbered surveyed Next over is the Instructors Grade point Average far right is GPAs Icon Next + is better - is worse and NC is steady compared to last quarters GPA II Bullets ( ) designate I~tructors not confirmed as teaching listed class
SOCIOLOGY 1510 Gen Sociology
Jacobson 2 250 Hes libral with a little common sense He sometimes calls off class Bidwell 1 400 I Fun easy tests not very hard just sit and listen Coleman - 1 400 NC Jrnl He lives for Sociology
- Harris 1 200 +10 ~ Teaching by television do~nt work
Heflin 1 400 1 Magnifico McKeeby 1 050 -25 pound Embarasses the hell out of you in -class if youre wrong Navarromiddot 1 400 Very complete
3110 Aspects of Spanish Lit Cobb 1 200 The manners of a goat
SPECIAL ED 5320 Manual Comm m
Barnesmiddot 1 400 DP Hubbardmiddot 1- 300
1520
3510
Wears sarne sweatshirt every day Perrin 2 200 ~ Teaches like a grad course Social Probs Dunaway 2 000 Q - should be killed Lies to students Entire number of lectures can be counted on one hand Didnt learn shit Norris Wallace
200 000
poundl6
Q -The teacher was not so ~ad but his TA was unfair and aline talked about was smoking pot and partyshying Juvenile Delinquency Black 1 000 Wanna fall asleep
Q -
Great guy interesting class SPEECH 2311 Public Speaking
I
2351
2361
Robertson 2 375 Took away the pressure of giving speeches Very relaxed atmosphere V~cl 1 100 ~ Interpersonal Commun Ambrester 3 400 NC I Relates to students Doesnt jerk you around like most profs Business and Profes Speaking McDaniels 1 400
4560 Rhet of Worn Rights Movem Cook 1 100 Tries to teach a rhetoric class by telling you the words but not the context in which they were spoken
SPANISH STATISTICS 1110 Elem Spanish 2100 Prob and Stats
Gl 2 400 fifll ennmiddot )l Beal 1 150 Got away with murder and still learned
Doesnt know how to explain
0-75 76middot1 5
Dixon 400 Cares about students Walker 2 400 NC Jrji Great teacher expresses material
well 3110 Regression and Corr Meth
1
3220
3450
Cwiek 1 400 The best in stats Niedart 2 250 ~
Very picky a tough grader on -exams Walker E
tests Sylwester 2 250 Be prepared to do ALL the homework
LoI Lo
THEATRE 2111 Acting
Harris 400 Ii) Great teacher knows his stuff Always in a good mood He gets to know each student personally
2252 Survey of World Dramas I Schmitt 1 400 NC
Ancient drama in modem terms
16-25 26-35 36middot 40
1RANSPORTATION 3115
4415
4720
2980
3990
4200
4720
Intro to Logistics Langley 1 200 -20 5lb
OK hard exams Freight Carrier Operations Patton _ 4 325 -03 4 Fair in coursework and tests 1
Logistic Sys Mgrnnt Sem middot ~ 51b Foggin 1 200
Teaches bare-bones essentiils and tests over his lectures Easy class if youve had Bio 123 Human Anatomy Milastan 1 400 Fair A hunk Zoo Coll6quim
I Greenburg 1 400 Ichthyology
I Etnier 400 Only instructor Ive had that would drink a beer with students Comp Animal Behavior
Bowers 1 400 Excellent instructor GreenburgB 1 300 Greenburgs great burghdts bizarre
WIN A DATE WITH JOHNNY MAJORSmiddot Oh What a Hunk Its NOT TOO LATE to win
A God in his own time Unbelieveable but yes The Lame Monkey Manifesto is giving one lUCKY soul an all-expense paid evening with Johnny Majors but only if you enter
You may have the opportunity to gaze deep into his eyes and ponder the meaning of UTK Wine Dinner Dancing A evening of football related conversation Allis possible if you wont tell his wife An enticing proposition all middotfor the low low price of free A stimulating adventure with this prime example of virility~ The season may be over but Johnny is still hot hot hot
Be the first on your block to make go out with Johnny Majors A throbbing evening to make any debautant blush
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The Lame Monkey Manifesto January 4 1988
Logic Logic Whos Got the Logic Jesus Was a Commie and Darwin Wasnt Talking About Hulk Hogan Doug Collins Lame Monkey Philosophy Reporter
Well now well now it seems weve upset some people God That Good Natured Ole Tyrant has made some people react-not think mind you but read Lets analyze those reshyactions for a minute One writer a very (parenthetical) and (dogmatic) person who signs himself The Prophet has attempted to answer our little riddle Proph babe before you-call these questions shallow and redundant you should do a little reshysearch Saint Augustine and Saint Thomas Aquinas had difficulty with this one and even they lost sight of the problemgetting caught in the same
the buck Throw in omnibenevolence and
you see that God cannot by the nature of omnibenevolence choose evil or allow evil to be chosen If he does then it is not through inability to reconcile free will and an absence of evil for God is able to do anything And there ladies and gents is where you lost sight of the little pea in my previous she~l game article
If God can do anything then He can reconcile paradox The logically impossible is not even difficult pi can equal three cocks will crow at moonshyrise and magic is loose in the world God can be omnipotent omnibenevoshylent and support Alabama if He so chooses because He has the power I cant understand it but then I cant understand nested infinities or 4th dimensional curves either How can He do it Ask him not I
So what do we do now Well we abandon logic and enter the realm of faith I have faith that God does not exists I cant prove it because if He
morass of scripture in which you does exist then all my logical relationshyfound yourself stuck It is impossible ships are merely a fraction of His within the structures of logic to rec- being You can believe what you want oncile an omnipotent omniscient to I am disappointed that no one omnibenevolent deity with the exis- caught the gimmick in my first article tence of evi Once again Ill point out Oh well you were probably too horrishythe fallacy of the free wiil argument fied by the prospect of a Godless uni-
First of all free will is itself incon- verse Speaking of which shall we sistent with omniscience and discuss Lonnie Rapers pathological omnipotence If ~~~~~~- dependence on God knows every- God the Father for thing then he hismoralandethi-knows what I am cal standards about to do and Gently now we has known sinee dont want to he said fiat lux frighten him (God spoke Latin Lon n ie yknow) There- sweetie athe-fore he knows if I ists was the cor-will choose good rect term Secular or evil If God is humanist is a omnipotent then Neo Dexter buzz he can cause me to word for anyone choose good or evil and in fact has who refuses to march in step Godshydone so Lose me on that one Well if less communists goes to far since I can do anything and I choose not to communism is a politico-economic act sntthat the same thing as acting system A system advocated by Jesus Haven-t I knowing the resul ts of inac- by the way at least as far as economics tion by not acting chosen -to those is concerned Jesus was not a results In other words can God pass capitalist
I saw Jesus go by the doorway of my lecture hall this morning He paused momentarily as if to explain Sorry cant stay Im late for My religious studies class
He was wearing a tie-dyed Grateful Dead shirt And carrying an art pad and some Middle Estern Civilization textbooks Iwanted to go running after him and ask him For his phone number just in case I ever got in troubleshyThen I smiled And realized how foolish that would be
Now lets turn to the argument probably more fitto survive the social itself I was willing to go along with environment Like the old story about you until you equated survival of the the bundle-of sticks one stick by itself fittest with might makes middot right can be broken combine the sticksand This is a common f they are stronger perversion of Dar- - Actually -I think win wherein sur- ~ ~ that this is both vival of the fittest lt self-evident and become survlVal of ~ _ ~ an endorsement of
Th ~ ltgt (r the strongest e ~ -~lt ~ __ rt~compassionate so-two are not the I ~ ~~ ~ I cieties If you be-same ~ffY lt -- J _ ~I lieve tha~ a socially
Hulk Hogan ~W ~~ f -5J ~f ~ responSIble SOCI-the man the myth r r r- _ tW~ ety is so unfitthat it the legend able to flrr=-~ ji~ ~ must be propped eat steel bars and r I up by God all you shit nails would 11 if are saying is that pop like a balloon if since God is shoved suddenly I i strongest let His into even a rela- Just Another will prevail That is tively soft vacuum Godless Communist truly might mak-yetthere small weak and timid bacte- ing right You seem unable to accept ria which cope at ease Why Because that the universe may a cold and the bacteria are more fit to survive lonely place but just because you that environment Just so with ethical dont like it dont mean it aint so systems Wrap yourself in illusions Lonnie
If a system based on rights and a but dont pawn them off as reality concern for justice is more popular Some of us dont need God to keep us than a dog-eat-dog anarchy then it is warm at night
~AnnMK Patil Mozingo Contraception Kills
4 1988 The Lame J Manifesto
he Winter Weather Worrywart Checklist Lauralie Morton Lame Monkey Weather Correspondent
Well it seems that we are presently the victims of an excessively precipishytant winter season and it is apparent that we have some amateur worriers out there in the nooks and crannies of readerland Having had the unmitishygated delight of living out twentyshythree wjnters in this burgeoning meshytropolis I consider myself an expert in the field of professional weathershyworry If you follow the directions exactly as presented here I can assure you a successful survival of the terror this winter might bring
1 If ad verse conditions are preshydicted )mmediately rush out to the nearest grocery store and stock up on staples and non-perishables The cruel terrain of East Tenness~e
coupled with ice-covered roads could strand you for weeks on end How horrible to starve to death in your
own home just because you ignored your scout promise to be prepared Tomato soup grilled cheese sandshywich fixings and four kegs of beer are essential to a basic survival kit
2 Do not drive at all from Novemshyber 1st through April 15th If you must drive be sure to pump your brakes when going up hills My sisters husbands cousins doctor once told me that this gives good tracshytion For Gods sake slam on the brakes if you start to slide on snow or ice This will at least ensure your departure from this world in a genushyine blaze of glory
3 Be a good weather-watcher Know the difference between the jet stream and the blood stream Monitor temperature fluctuation~_ at fifteen minute intervals That harmless little raincloud out there could easily metashymorphose into a full-blown blizzard just because the temp drops a degree or two And just imagine your shame at being caught in the unawares
Theres No Place Like Colectors Choice
Theres No Place Like
MOVED TO NEW LOCATION -2104 Cutnbedand bull Next to -Davis-Kidd
GAMES bull COMICS ~ MINIATURES BASEBALL CARDS
_ MOVIE POSTERSmiddot STAR TREK
when all you had to do was call the local times and temperature number four times an hour
4 If you are at work or school when you spot that first flake leave immeshydiately It is helpfu1to clog Kingston Pike Cucumberland A venue and the interstate system with thousands of frightened commuters all at once The glut of traffic keeps the precipitation be it snow or ice from ever reaching the streets surface
5 Feel free to sled and frolic onyour neighborhood streets This will keep you from getting out in your car and sliding over anYsmall children~who might be sledding on your neighborshyhood streets You probably wont get hurt
Now that weve established a few precautions lets discuss how to best enjoy this weather Here are a few suggestions to cure that cabin fever
1 Watch MTV until your eyes glaze over The minute-by-minute intellecshytual challenges of music videos will provide you with hours of thrills and
chills 2 Do not read anything This is
imperative You already have to do enough reading as it is so dont let this pollutant leak into your recreashytional space
3 Urinate your middot name in a snowshybank (This is especially entertaining for females)
4 Indulge yourself in otherwise decadent luxury Take a bubble bath for two days or until the snow melts--- whichever comes first Stuff yourself on chocolate raisins and lisshyten to Windham Hill until you beshycome comatose
5 Teach yourself to armpit-fart Let It Snow Lust after Vanna White and Pat Sajak while giving yourself a pedicure Fake a British accent while ordering a pizza
Well I could go on with these entershytaining suggestions all day but youve got the basic idea In essence a snowstorm can be compared to sexshyas long as youre prepared you can
stop worrying and enjoy yourself
On September 13 1 ~86i Sherman Smith died of boredom
in his neighborhood Laundromat ) -
Too bad he didnt know about middot Harvey Washbangers the Laundromat and
Pub where the fun never stops
Open 9AM to 12 Midnight 7 days a week Free Dryers M-F 9AM to 12 Noon ~~
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The Lame Manifesto 4 1988 Page 12
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Page 3 January 4 1988 The Lame Monkey Manifesto
Drop amp Add Checklist Highlights of Fall 1987 and Past
ations of Fall Quarter 1987 our latest Walker 1 100 Welcome to the Instructor Evalu-I Townsend 1 200
and greatest compilation For the Typical boring accountant uninitiated this survey contains 2130 Survey Managerial Cost Acct 1J evaluations of over 600 classes taken Redding 1 400
Tells you what you need to know during Fall Quarter as well as those Richardson 2 350 ~m regarded as Best Ever and Worst middot Tests are a bitch
Ever 3110 Intermed Finan Accounting Every effort has been made to Reeves 1 300
confirm course information and Teaches from the heart name spellings If there are mistakes Turpin 1 400 NC we apologize If you have received a Exceptional teacher Really tries to poor review and are disgruntled we help the student invite conflicting comments for our 3120 Intermed Finan Accounting 5 9 next issue Slagle 2 050 -1 -
Some people have argued that our efforts are pointless because our sur- 3210 vey lacks statistical accuracy We feel that this survey is useful not because of its flawless precision but because
Human thorazine He should test on lit trivia Managerial Cost Acc Reeve 1 200 Herring 350 Roth 400
its the only information of its kind 3430 Federal Income Tax available to the students If you Wolfe 1 400 would like it to be more reliableshyhelp out give us a call
Thanks to all who have participat ed and -spent massive amounts of
time most noteably Lance Bledsoe and Robert Daedalus See ya at the end of this quarter on the UC Plaza
How To Use This Information
Cool dude ADVERTISING 3000 Advertising Principles
Jackson 3 333 -07 liI Arrogant Really motivates students but has no taste in clothes Jumper- 1 400 JiiJll
Stankey 1 000 -40 9 He should get a mirror and take itshyaround No one is as cute as he thinks he is
11 0-75 71)-15 11)-25 26-35 30-40
2930 Bio of Human Race Jants 1 300 Dull material but good instructor
who grades with compassion
Ridinger 3 2 00 ~ Bit fromHell Too many notes difficult tests doesnt talk loud enough
3900 Human Osteology Bass 1 400
ffiIh 1520 Intro Astronomy Itl Harris 1 100
Highly instructive fun challengshying
ARCHITECTURE 1200 Arch Graphics
1201
2110
2114
2207
Shell 1 400 Learned more than I have in any other class Visual Design Princp Wells-Bowie 1 000 NC pound Bit Fund of Site Design Dunikowski 1 300 Comp Appl in Arch Henley 1 000 Oscar Mayer poster child Prof never showed up Arch Hist Lester 2 300 Too many facts Great lectures killer exams
~ Lester 400
ART 11 05 Sculpture
Nichols 400 2505 Lettering and Typography
Dull unpredictable tests 1610 Intro Astro wI Lab
McCorkle 1 100 Reads directly from book Ridinger 1 100 Bity
AUDIOSPEECH PATHOLOGY 3710 Audio I
Burchfield 431D St-St-Stutt~ing
Luper 1 Hard tests
400
400
4650 Sp amp Lang Cult Diff Ch Adler 1 400 Throws excellent parties
BASIC ENGINEERING 1310 Statics
Brooks 000 -20 Hes a fat insulting bastamp who hates freshmen so he fails them Taught freshman course on graduate level Carley 4 150 I
1 The first number next to the Instructors name is the total number of responses we had regarding that prof Remember the fewer people surveyed the more unreliable his her evaluation
4000 Adv Copy and Layout Jackson 1 400
ffljh Clarke 1 250 Itl 3777 Jap Art
Dislikes the human race Knows material boring as hell Abandon all hope ye who enter here Iendruko 2 150 + 15 I
2 The next number is the Grade Point Average of the Instructor The Inshystructors were graded on a scale of AshyF where A is 4 and P is O The total number of these quality points is divided by the total number of reshysponses much like the way your own GP A is figured 3 The + - NC numbers following (where applicable) compare this quarters GP A to last quarter (+ = how much better - = how worse NC = no change from last quarter) 4 The icon graphically represents an Instructors performance (0-75 Boom 76-15 Bird 16-25 Scale 26-35 Girl 36-40 Beer) 5 A Bullet () after an Instructors name means we could not confirm their teaching this class based on course listings available to the public 6 Comments are excerpts from comshyments given by our interviewees and do not necessarily reflect those of the oublishers etc 7 Enjoy
ACCOUNTING 2110
2110
Fund of Accounting Albright l middot 300 Explains well tries to help Fund of Accounting Hendiks- 1 300 Matthews 3 333
Hardass but worth it 4360 Adv Media
Kerr 1 300 5310 Current Issues in Adv
Taylor 1 400 Tough but highly educational
AFRO-AMERICAN STUDIES 2010 Intro to Afro-Arner StUd
Morrow 1 400 Good teacher protests student art
AGECON 4120 Farm Management
Keller 1 200 AGRICULTURAL ENGINEERING 3100 Seminar
Bledsoe 1 100 3610 Soil and Water Cons
Von Bumuth 2 400 3640 Power Units and Mach
Tompkins 1 400
ANTHROPOLOGY 2510 Human Origins
NC JiiJll Bass 4 400 Larned a lot of material without realizing I was learning it Great class tests picky on details when considering amt of material covered Hall 400 Interesting easy tests fun
2520 Pre Hist Archaeology
2530
Simek 1 400 Very interesting fair tests instructor has sense of humor Human Cultures Logan 8 394 Great lectures fair tests Really in tune with students No textbook
Martinson 200 Very dry lectures grades with compassion but course is dull
3905 Intermed Photography r Lee 2 400 NC Different from most profs in that he d(Jes what h~ teaches and does it terribly w~ll
ART EDUCATION 3100 Intro to Art Ed
Hull 1 350 Fun class easy tests no homeshywork
ASIAN STUDIES 2431 Arabic I
2510
Gwen- 400 Cancels classes and quizzes Asian Civilization HaoYoung 1 400 Very for non-Asian Studies
1320
1330
Knows what hes doing but doesnt want to explain it Tries to explain material Solimon 2 400 He likes students and I learned something Stoneking 2 Particle Jynarnics Boulet 1 Kim Soliman
1 4
300
000 100 400
+30 ~
-30
NC
pound I
ImP Works and explains problems wonderfully Good presentation of material Basic Th~odynarnics Stephens 1 200 ~ Doesnt prepare you for his testswp
Thomas 1 400 ~
Scott 2 350 +05 ~ Tries to communicate what the
majors 2520 Asian Civ
Hao Confusing
1 200
material is about Hard AT7 1410 Engineering Computations
-10 -~- Fortey- 1 300
ASTRONOMY 1510 Intro Astro ~
Jones 1 150 () Fairman 2 OQO NC ~ This woman is totally stupid She makes no sense in lecyene Harmatz 2 250 Ms Mono~ne but interesting subject easy tests Hartzman 1 400 Lide 4 125 Talks like he is drunk No contest the worst Prof in the 25 years Ive
_ been here Tests completely unfair living fossil
British Mak 400 NC Very nice class - slow and easy -but gradesmiddot hard Katz 1 100 Mobasher- 1 400 Kim 1 000
BIOCHEMISTRY 4110 Cell and Comp Biochemistry
Koontz 1 300 -05 JiI Very good clear lecturer is somewhat approachable noshynonsense when answering quesshytions
ContinUed Next Page
The Lame Manifesto
3600 Trans Planning Wegmann z 250 4210 Intro to Physical Biochem
Churchich 1 000
lSF CLASSICS 1110 Beginning Latin I
Sounds like Dracula on Valium Time would be better spent watching 3710
Too much hom~wqrk unclear lectures Materials of Construction
Craig 2 400 NC II Good sense of humor enthusiastic Hes wonderful you want to learn Rutledge 2 100 ) Arrogant and rude Knows his Latin but is very abrupt and impatient with students
renms of Lost in Space
BIOLOGY 1210 Gen Biology
Mescall Y 1 400
Knew the material made it interesting Rakes Shutemiddot
1 2
300 325
Very organized and patient 3120 Cell Biology
Jeon 3 200 Never explains material justS gives page numbers Hes a creationist if youre not dont take him
Doesnt write anything down Skims over things in lecture
Whitson 2 350 JiI Good but only teaches in the falL5hows slides in class to break monotony At least he laughs at l)is own jokes
3130 Gen Bio Etnier 400 Teaches with a beer in his hand
BOTANY 1110 Fund Botany
Sheetzmiddot 400 Too bad shes married
1118 Honors Fund Botany Jones 1 400
BROADCASTING 2720 Intro to Broadcasting
Moore 2 300 +05 ~ Very informative and lectures are very good Interesting class lectures not based on assigned reading
3360 TV and Radio Advertising 9 Howard 1 000 shy
Time consuming bullshit assign-ments
3650 TV and Radio Writing Holt 1 000 Material has no useful value
4030 TV Production G Johnson 1 400 Best Ive ever had Really teaches really cares
4680 Brd Sales Mgt Holt I 100 Material has no useful value
5620 Broad Law Moore 1 300 Tries to make class interesting but material not interesting
BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION 3110 Intro to International Bus
4110
Dicer 1 400 Presents material in interesting manner Uses real life situations Envir Business Law
-Stowers 1 100 Rambling
CIVIL ENGINEERING 2260 Surveying
Chatterjee Grecco
200 100
Videotaped courses suck 3210 Anal of Framed Str
Moore l1 f 26i ~ Boring as hell Look at old tests and
labs _ 4230 Legal amp Etlubl Aspcts of En
Kressin 1 200 -10 lSF Be prepared for class discussion
4410 Deft Stat Indeter Str Johnson - 2 250
4540 Computer Utilizl1ion Bennett 1 400 Resume boost
2220 Greek Myth Tandy
2230 Greek Myth 400
Tandy 2 400 Great job explaining myths Interesting and funny
2510 Greek Lit w Eng Trans 4640 Traffic Engr
Wegmann 1 400 Rutledge 1 350
II 3340 Cities of Greek ampRoman Wrld Clear fair concise
5430 Const Mmngt Deatherage 1 200
CHEMISTRY 111 0 Gen Chemistry
Chambers 1 400 Good lectures funny man Assumes students are idigtts Kleinfelter 8 038 Terrible Cant explain it and you never meet him Going to class is useless ~You just try to ask a question iTIisier Those damn TVs ZZZZZZ Extremely boring Good class for sleeping Adcock 2 250 lSF Good lectures Quizzes taken from notes Tests are unfair
1118 Honors Gen Chern
1120
Lane 2 400 I failed his class but hes still a great teacher Treats students like they are bright General Chemistry Q -Kleinfelter 2 000 Pagni 000 pound Talks in amonotone only addresses the first two rows Could not care less
t 130 Gen Chern Cook 000 NC
1520
2140
3211
3221
Doesnt have a clue crazy as hell Kleinfelter 2 000 -20 pound Give him the same he gave me Gen Org Bio Chern Kalbalka 1 400 Anal Chemistry Sepaniak 1 200 Never around for consultation in a difficult class Organic Chemistry Bartmess 1 200 Boring and confusing Eastham 1 000 -30 pound Eastham doesnt know how to teach Lane 2 400 Great instructor Makes organic interesting Magid - 1 400 Organic Chemistry Kabalka 1 400
3231 Drgaruc Chemistry
Gesell 1 200 NC lSF Dry long lectures Whole class is taught by slides which is somewhat fun Subject is fascinating if youre into architecture
4050 Directed Readings in Greek Tandy 1 400
4310 Selected Readings inLatin Lit Rutledge 1 300 ~
COMMUNICATIONS Ill 0 Intro to Comm
Holt 2 400 Easy if you attend class The guys a riot
COMPU1ER SCIENCE 1410
1510
1620
2215
Intro Bus Orient Prog Brumgard 1 200 Cant relate info to students Rodriguez 1 000 pie scum Sledjeski 3 400 Great buns Dating material
Q Intro to FORTRAN Brumgarsmiddot 1 000 Intermed Structure Prog Mayo 1 400 I Good pace instructor didnt expect too much or too little Discrete Structures Thomason 1 000 pound Teacher was dead on his feet No energy no interest no A
3025 Computers and Society
3150
3155
3410
Ploch 3 200 Must be difficult to make an extremely boring subject interestshying Boring yet useless Intro Num Algor and Prob Hines 1 000 Needs to die a screaming death1ffih Ghatak 1 400 JtjJ
Kumarmiddot 1 100 ~) Youll get at least a D or a C but you wont learn anything Intro Num Algor and Prob Alexiades 1 300 JiI Makes impossible understandable
COBOL Baker 2 250 What a hard ass Hard to get hold of for help
3520 Assembly Language Program Binder 2 375 Tames a bitch really well
3910 Com Comp Conc Control
Goodpasture 1 400
Eastham 1 000 -35 pound The water spigot and the heater will both get As
I CHINESE Galbraith 1 150 Personality of a diaItone
Fair tests easy material 3230 Design of Framed Str
Goodpasture 1 300 Look at old tests
2531 Beg Chinese Bokenkamp 400 Easily the best teacher Ie ever had
ECOLOGY 5100 Special Probs
Packard 350
4 1988 Page 4
ECONOMICS 2510 Intro to Econ
Cole 8 313 - Jil Great lectures but confusing tests Boring subject but he explains it well Deprez 6 298 Great ~eacher Phillips 5 21 0 -12 lSF Multiple choice tests fairly easy Long lectures hard tests Talks
fast lut good WorrieS too much about his boats Boring egotistishycal
2520 Intro to Econ Clark 2 200 +04 lSF Knows his stuff but should come with No-Doze pills Wouldnt let _ us see our tests after we took them Deprez 2 225 +23 lSF
This guy is a clown Phillips 2 350 +20 ~ Hard to understand I never went to class just read the book I still got an A ~
3110 Intermed Micro Theory
3340
Glustoff 5 080 +03 ) Impossible exams instructor paced the room and confused students more than taught Dont bother going to class Waste of time going to class buy the book Just study his workbook Govt and Business Brown 1 400 I Very enthusiastic
4233 Poli Econ USSR amp Est Europe Feiwel 1 100 () Poor communicator very repetishytive
EDUC CURRIC AND INSTRUCT 3021 School In the Amer Society
Dellinger 1 300 4304 Dev Reading Ski Cont Field
Ryan 1 300
EDUC amp COUNSELINQ PSYCH 3002 Ed Psych
Poppenfho 1 400
ELECTRICAL ENGINEERING 2010 Circuits I
2020
2030
Adams 7 257 Cant even copy off his own notes
Grading system a little screwed but he is a good teacher Fair teacher gets confused easily R~lates well to circuit elements Googe 2 400 Googe is cool as hell Roberts 1 000 Horrifying tests Circuits II Bishop 3 267 +04 _l~ Eager to teach Great instructor Only class where I actually learn~ something He will dick students completely Circuits III Googe 400 NC
3010 Transient Anal I
II Googe 3 400 + 10 Explains completely Googe is cool
3040 - Basic Comm Syst McCullough 1 000 pound Worse class ever Terrible teacher impossible tests and shes $ I Tillman 1 000 JZ 10 weeks of aimless babbling
learn shit
Page 5 41988 The Lame Manifesto
Number right of instructors name is the total numbered surveyed Next over Is the Instructors Grade point Average far right is GPAs icon Next + is better - is worse and NC is steady compared to last quarters GPA Bullets ( ) designate instructors not confirmed as teaching listed class 0-75 76-15
D 16-25 26-35 36-lt10
3050
3060
3080
3090
3100
3110
Koch 200 Too much homework tests difficult Basic Field Theory Neff 5 300 +10Jif lusts ulncs doesnt teach Knows the material but doesnt teach it well Reads his own book but will help if interested Too easy Tillman 1 000 Didnt learn anything Propagation Tillman 2 125 Poor lecturer removed from reality not very relevant to this universe Power Patton 2 050 Expects too much for an intro class teaches like it is a grad class Teacher lacks ability to communishycate what he knows Rude to students who challenge his understanding Power Bailey l 300 +20Jif Very reJaxed style Symonds 2 350 Like having class with Monty Python Random Signals Hoffman 3 033 -32 pound Bad instructor horrible book Nice guy but worthl~ss as an instructor Circuits and Fields Googe 1 - 400 Abidi 3 300 Fair but incredibly abrasive
3120 Electronics
3180
3190
Waller 4 250 Mr Microphone One wordshyBoring Logic Design McCullough 2 250 +05 6p Needs to slow lecture down -Plasmal Alexeff 3 367 Makes learning fun Roth 4 100
+07 I
Doesnt care about students understanding only about getting thru the syllabus Only he uh knows uh what the uh hell he is uh talking about
3720 Linear Systems Anal Neff 2 350 Excellant in every category
3810 Electronics I Mukund 2 Blalock 2
400 200
NC
Assumes you take 3 hrs a quarter 3820 Electronics IT
Pierce 400 +30 I Learned things apply to real world
3830 Electronics ill Rochelle 5 380 -02 ~ Excellent teacher Workable projects Learned a lot Better than Pierce
4470 MHD
4600
4630
Akxeff 2 300 He enjoys teaching Cool guy too much vector analysis Analog Signal Processing Blaylock 2 200 Great teacher but digresses endlessly Compo Syst Org Bodenheimr 4 350 ~tiI Very usefur info GREAT instrucshytor Tough but applicable projects
4700 Digital Integrated Electronics Blalock 1 400 Interesting material good book
4740 Integrated Circuits KeJlI)edy 1 400 +20 II
4850 Small Computer Systems Bishop 1 200 If youre a computer jock you probably know more than Bishop
ENGLISH 1010 Eng Comp
Datzmiddot 000 9 - doesnt know material treats us like 3id graders Rohloftmiddot 1 - 400 One of the best Anderson 1 400 + 10 I Very off-the-wall but lots of fun Culberson 2 350 ~ EBest Ive ever had She made me like English Cullettemiddot 400 Fun as hell butkinda weird I) Davis 1 100 Demastes 2 325 -08 Jif Funny fair Boring fairly easy Duvall 1 100 (I Its not just the instructor the class itinerary sucks monkey turds Eckhardt 1 400 I Great dresser Elvis Costello fan interesting topics Fogelman 1 300 Haney 200 Doesnt teach English Babbles about works she has read Hardwig 1 300 The woman is nuts Lomanginomiddot 1 300 Fun in class but killer grading McKinstymiddot 1 400 I Extremely good bull Pigg 1 000 NC pound Knowledgable but obnoxious Stone 2 400 I Lee 1 200 ~ Good but too emotional Slagle 1 300 She gets better as the quarter goes on
1018 Honors English Comp
1020
1031
1032
1033
Lewis 1 300 Shes not big on deadlines Stillman 1 200 6p Knowledgeable but intolerant Ki~s his ass and youll do fine Zomchick 1 300 Very intelligent but opinionated English Comp Carroll 1 350 Learned a lot Thinks he is Shakespeare Elkin 1 Irwin 1
400 400
Class never moved that nice before Powell 400
I I
Is aware of students presence and talks to them personally Swainmiddot 1 350 Comes from the hippie generation(Cool teacher) English COinp Farriermiddot 1 100 English Comp Sprague 1 250 A f bitmiddot who ogles guys Tech Writing Blankenship 1 370 Fair and friendly
V Brentano 1 Ball 1
200 -20 6p
400 I Useful infonnative Little to no BS assignments
1038 _ Honors English Comp Zomchick 1 400 Lively thoughtcprovoking
- discussions and my writing actually improved
1451 Eng Comp Williamsonmiddot 1 400 II Fantastic teacher Only class Ive had at UT where I felt no pressure
2510 English Masterpieces -poundif 1rJl
2520
2531
2660
Clark 1 300 Eckhart 400
Simpson 1 middot 400 II Fantastic I really liked this class Tschantz 1 2006p English Masterpieces Lafaro 1 000 pound Arner Masterpieces Bullard 1 350 Boring but pretty good Intro to Drama Carol 1 370
2680 Intro to Novels HlIITllriontree 2 200
One person forum Perverted readings intense lectures lotsa work
3110 Fluid Mech BakerAI 29 362 Highly recommended Fair tests Gets excited about water Best dressed Engr prof on campus Strict about homework Lots of learning Forrester 000 Did not present material clearly
3311 Mechanics of Materials Brooks 3 067 Duhhhhh Hes a geek Presentashytion of material is so bad Hodgson 100 -Doesnt teach anything Landes 4 350 Great Helpful Patient Were having a pizza party Mathews 3 000 -10 Good for sleePing Pih 6 000 NC Ahole to an extreme Likes to give Fs Bad attitude Wasserman i 400
3320 Mechanics of Materials Mathews 2 middot 150 When youre roommate only goes to class twice and gets an A and you go all quarter and get aD its bad
Time flies Penner 200
6p 3410 Intro Biomed Engr Wasserman 5 320
Knows material but too infatuated with own opinion
2690 Intro to Film Studies Holtzclaw 2 200 -20 6p Class is too difficult for 2000 level I wish I didnt have to take it Maland 2 350 Interesting and interested
3042 Colloq in Literature Heffernan 1 400 Instructor managed to blend English history and philosophy into one extraordinary class
Likes to break legs Best Ive ever had
3700 Dynamics Forrester 1 300 Concerned about basics Kim 2 200 -20 LSllgt Not easy but fair Soliman 2 400 Best teacher I have ever had at UT
4710 Vibration BrQoks 4 225 qzgt
3045 _ Intro to Literary Criticism Dunn 1 200 6p 4810
No way to talk to him outside class doesnt teach middothell Engr Anal Wasserman Rather abstract 400
I FINANCE 3120 Business Finance
3435 Film and Arner Culture Maland 1 400
3840 Adv Writing Lewis
3850 Persuasive Writing 300
Bensel-Mey 1 300 Knows her stuff course structure great
4020 Shakespeare
4140
4651
Carroll
Dynamic teacher Adv Tech Writing Riley 1 SamSon Southern Lit
400
400 300
Ensor 2 350
NC
ENVIRONMENT ENGINEERING 3120 Hydraulics
Fredrick 1 400 3330 Elem Hydrology
Frederick 1 300 4030 Envr Engr Chem
- Robinson 1 400
ESM 2720 Dynamics
Pih 3 000 Dr Pih is a ridiculous excuse for a teacher Remenjik 1 000 Has zero insight into students perspective Absolutely cannot communicate
3130
3510
Newman 2 400 Takes the students into considera-tion and teaches them what is important Shao 200 Says clearly too much Bus Finance Trimble 300 Moody Clayton 000 Bring crossword puzzle to class For such an interesting subject he makes it extremely dull Boehmmiddot 1 200 Laid back but boring as hell
Zagagi R 2 000 He doesnt speak English and he doesnt know what the hell he is doing An easy course made difficult US Finan System Newman 3 400 Really cares about students Vines 1 300 -10 Tests can be a bitch Black 1 100 If you want to leam and fail this class is for you
ContinUed Next Page
I
1
The Lame
4110 Investment Anal Hogan 1 400 Hilarious This guys a riot
4840 Real Estate Investment Goolsby 1 300 30 Easy but he put me to sleep
FORESTRY 1620 Intro to Forr
Hay 350 FRENCH -1110
2110
ElemFrench Rabo 1 100 Expects perfection frrst day Intermed French Curry 4 325 Helps a lot Tries hard very boring Genuiriely interested in tellching Hottel 400 Interesting fun class Petrovska 1 000
II
JiI
JiI
You must speak perfect French one mistake = F Striblingmiddot 400 Great sense of humor
2120 Intermed French Petrovska 1 000 Slavic bit who kicked Satan out
1 of Hell
2910 F~nch Lit with Eng Trans WIllace 1 350
GEOGRAPHY 1610 Intro to Geography
Jumper 2 250 Fair but Spe~ too softly
1620 Intro to Geography - Rehder 3 367
Fridays are Hawaiian days Keeps theclass awake with lots of humQr
Used hundreds of slides I felt like Id beeIlaround the world Geo of Nat Envir Hom 3 233 Enthusiastic interesting has high expectations of students Waste of time going to lectures youll fall asleep
2130 Economic Geography
3530
3940
4740
5150
Bell 5 140 filird to take notes Boring mtmdane Covers material too
fast Ralston _ 1 400 +07 D All around gOod guy Land-Surface System and Man Harden 1 400 IilP Interesting and informative leCturer Geo of the Appalachia Brinkman 1 200 No textbook all reserve reading Interesting but tough class Remote Sensing Rehder 2 350 Rehders cool lots of slides Good guy
Intro Geog Research 9 AikenFores 2 050 -Makes Gulag look like Club Med more bullshit than a feedlot A terror
GEOLOGY 1010 Gen Geology
Kopp 1 100 Tries to trick students Dick-
head
Misra 3 267 liI Miller 2 400 NC II Does not tmdeistand grading Great lady Opened my eyes to the process Not bad Has rouble way the world and society really speaking English operate
Williams 2 200 ~ 1610 World Civ The good thing about this class is Farris 300 JlI that Life is short and this cl~s makes Cant afford to miss the lectures
Page 6
LINGUISTICS 2000 Lang Lingsts and Society
Dumas l 400 MANAGEMENT
fgt 3010 Principles of Management
Reed 2 150 Cranky old man Great speaking voice stated info clearly iKeem so long 2015 Hist Issues
Gen Geology pound Farr 1 400 1030 Prod Manageme)1t Noon 1 400
IrP 3110
Broadhead 1 000 2510 History of US I J9 Snotty arrogant afld non-caring Finger 2 350 _ Geo of N atl Parks Keeps you on your toes but I do Clark 1 400 II feel I learned something Every student should hear this Wheeler 1 400 teaching phenomenon 3140 English History Geol fgr Engineers At7 Pickney 2 350 Byerly 3 200 - - Take the class if you have the Good lab wasted lecture too boring interest
2410
for a 750 About as exciting as a 3150 England
rock Pickney 1 300 4550 Optical Minearalogy Really knows and enjoys teaching
Clark 1 400 I 3160 England 1832- Present
GERMAN Bohstedt 1 300 -10 JiI 1110 Elem Germ Realiy knows his stuff
00 9 H Harris 1 O - 3470 Russian Story Hodges 1 400 IiJ Chmielewsk 2 000 pound
2110 Intermed Germ Prof belittles students tests were Cather 1 4 Q9 I horrible students have no chance of Really wants to help passing
2120 Intermed German 00 A 3650 Civil W iJr and Rl eco~ 00 I
Hard but good Really cute Makund 1 000 pound ZuzzL
MANAGEMENT SCIENCE 2110 Decision Models
Stmdaro 1 000 Ho 200 Out in Twilight Zone
MARKETING 3110 Intro to Marketing
3120
Fine 1 300 Explains well Clemons 1 000 Eliminate Scott Clemons Marketing ~gt McMillan 2 150
9 -Rough but a great curve ~Boring rud~ Peters 4 200
Lauckner 1 1 1 Muldowny
Strange woman hard as hell Tough tests but he knows his stuff 3310 311 0 Intro to German Lit and lectures well
Bats eyes too much Lectures do not pertain to tests She knows her subject and appreciates her students Marketing Channels
Osbornemiddot 1 400 Jrjl 3931 US Hist WW II to Presellt J
Instructor is ~ery interested in his Johnson I 300 -05 El
sub]ectand siudents Enjoys teaching and material GRAPIDCS 4370 US Military History - 1410 EngrGraphicsI Johnson middot 1 400 NC II
Foster l 350 Jjf HUMAN ECOLOGy Teacher moved slowly and 1510 Human Dev
expl~ed ~swell lit Howell 1 30fJ Lyday 1 400 ItJ HUMAN SERVICES Cool guy Knows middotms shit Tries to 2n90 Inlro to Human Serv
- make EstabrookUaJl le~s ofa hole Knonick 1 400 NC 1 I-IEAL 11I had some really good stOri~ to 3510 Schooi Community Health ltgt relatihis topics
Aghamemiddot 1 000 - INDUSTRIAL ENGINEERING Thinks the overhead projector is the 3600 Motion and Time studies latest innovation in education Doulet 1 400
mSTORY 4150 Proj CompCPM andPert 1510 Western Civ I Kirby 1 100
Bing 2 100 + 10 ) 4520 Engineering Economy JfI lncoherent lectures butBing Ford 1 300
expectsmiddot very coherent fmal and mid- Doulet 3 367 ()3 Ji term anSwers ~ts of real life examples Farr 400 D ITALIAN The dude is in~ 9 1110 Elem Ita Haas 1 000 NC - Maria 1 300 Hitler-in-training A boy from Average cares about progress
brazil Pavlicelli 1 400 I McDonald 1 400 NC II Shes beautiful What a guy Fun knows things JAPANESE Pickney 5 350 JfI 2631 Elem Jap Fairest of all gives extra credit Ericson 1 400 Fuck Haas Bingmiddot Wry humor Interesting easy tesK makes a dull subject interesting JOURNALISM Brummett 2 300 Jjf 2215 Basic News Writing Get ready to read your ass off Caudill 1 000
1518 Honors Western Civ I Hufford 400
Shepherd 2 250 -05 ~ OK but Thinks hes groovy
3410 Buyer Behavior ~ Speck 1 400
Teughtests but great lectures 3510 Muketing Research
Faulds 1 100 -10 (gt 4140 Sales ForCe MlIJ)llgementmiddot
G~al 1 300 NC ~ Toomuch readirig
4610 Marlcet Opp Anal Rentz 1 300
MATERIALS SCIENCE 2030 Process Prinep and Materials
SPruiell 1 200 Defmition freak
211 0 Engr Materials I Becker 5 000 Takes out frustrations on students teaches way over sophomores head No one deserves this Loses you inlecture in 2 seconds
Doesnt give a shit about students Jumps all over you if you ask a question Talks in circles makes class too hard Benson 1 000
Arrogant SOB
Buchanan 1 400 Made the best of an average class
Fair grades and very tmderstandshy able
3130 Engr Materials ill Ashbee 1 000 -07 pound Borie 3 333 +03 poundif Hes cool as hell Fair tests and grades
Trainer 3 100 -03 ) Good and the TA is cute Hateful snobby high and mighty 3720 Adv Pub Relati~ 9 1140 Basic Math Couldnt care less about studentS Wolfe 1 000 _ Borthwick 1 O()()
MAW
Teacher was egotistical tmfair Slave driver Would have fit in well ~Bi~ prejudiced totally unprofes-pompous and boring in a Nazi camp
1520 Western Civ II lfi 4410 Mass Media and Society 1150 Bohstedt 2 400 lA Singletary 1 100 ) Very interested professional Worst excuse for a teacher Ive ever learned people seen
sional StatisJicll Reason Smith lC 1 000 I would not wish this heathen on my worst enemy
I I I
January 4 1988
Number right of instructors name is the total numbered suNeyed Next over is the Instructors Grade point Average far right is GPAs Icon Negt9 + is better - is worse ond NC is steady compared to last quarters GPA Bullets ( ) designate Instructors not confirmed as teaching listed class 0-7570-15
2840 Multivariable Calculus Anderson 1 400
1540 College Algebra Anderson 3 237 Dont need to go to lecture I would give him an F but I got a few good naps out of it
Dassioso 1 000 pound He speaks Greek and skips around on derivations
100 +10 ~ Harris 1 Harrington 1 300 JS Easy course teacher works Doesnt realize students are there anything_ Kuo - 1300 19 Smith 1 190 SIa Boring but a great class for
1550 Intro to Calculus working cross-word puzzleseasy
Brown 1 200 qz tests ~ Crump 1 400 Ii) Moziao 1 100 Gross 1 200 qz Travis 2 050 pound Yuck Confusing lectures Gives tests that Matthews 2 250 ~ require reading the entire book
Very hard to understand when he 2850 Multivariable Calculus shows up Alquiza 1 100 ~ Rowo 1 000 pound Very poor teacher Biased against
He teaches like an ostrich flies hes select students supposed to but he just doesnt get Anderson - 1 300 JjI around to it Great teacher but tests are rough
1560 Intro to Calculus Dydak 1 300 -10 ~ Caruth 1 380 trnJ El-Duma 1 000 pound Dosso 1 000 pound Retnam 1 100 ~ Row 1 000 2 Very hard to understand Never
1700 Pre-calculus changes clothes Coffee 1 200 qz Schippo 1 100 Mr Monotone bring a stiff drink or 2860 Multivariable Calculus a cup of coffee Alexiades 3 233 Dobbs 2 150 ~ ~ Decent teacher but you have to Doemt know how to explain work to get him interested No
anything moves too fast Great sYlabus No practicalc-applicatioris
sense of humor Alquiza 1 too ~ 1840 Single Variable Calculus Great teacher lousy tests
Coffee J O OOl~ i pound Bales - 1000middot pound Doemt like to teach 6 out of 50 Prof was abolrt as iRteresting and passed class persC1lable as a dead fish Taught out Daverman 2 150 ~ _ of thebOok~ Subject was stupid
Acts like an ex -chuggie hav ing numbeT tricks middotDTs middot Dalnis 3 Hintonlt 1 400 Ft McConnell 1
jjI 267 r
Q9O -33 ( ~
N~lte guy explains it very well Keller- middot l 100 ~ Huh The instrU~tor is a boring
wimpy monotonous dweeb Morris 1 400 tl) Made math a great experience PrestOno 1 400 trIl Sense of humor gets material across very well Extremely professional Stephenson 1 300 JjI Explains well goes slowly Wade 2 400 liiI Great professor He made the class interesting and understandable Zoran 1 400 D Funny He wore the samepants all quarter
Presentation of material was very
pOor 3155 Intro to Nwn Algor
Sonio 1 000 3310 Adv EuclideanGepm
Mulay 1200 3550 InteIDlediate Anal
Som R 1 000 Dr Soni is a total idiot
pound 3560middot middotIntermediate An~
Soni R 1 000
pound 4050 Matrix Algebra Appl McConnel 4 075 Incoherent Never let the class out on time Too strict in graiing Unwilling to answer questions or do examples
4250 - Intr Complex Anal Stepheson - 1 200
1841 Calculus for Biology Majors
1850
1860
2110
Kot 1 300 Good but gets sidetracked Single Variable Calculus Alquiza 1 200 Mulayo 000 Smith 100 Hes weird Single Variable Calculus Boriango 2 400 Great teacher learned a lot My God shes fair
Too much outside work required 4610 DiffEq
Simpson H 2 400 II Dassios had me sO messed up I couldnt do squat Now it all makes sense Great teacher but needs to work on his posture~
MEC~CALENGThffiERmG 3311 Engr Thermo
Amin 1 000 pound The wors~cher Impossible to McKinnyo l 400 tl)
~ 2 250 ~ - -S~tftmiddot t - ttOO ~- pound Arrogant son-of-a-bitA who did not
J~-tnOf~k questions -Hodgson 2 250 1 qz
know the material He encouraged everyone to drop hiS class Structure of Number System Stevens I 350
Not too willing to help students one-on one TestS are too hard
3330 ~grThenno Nguyen 2 150 -15 ~ Nice guy bad teacher
3520 Thermal Sciences Kektar 5 180 qzgt Decent Lame and hopeless
3530 Thermal Sciences Arnin 1 300 Jjf
3540 Heat Transfer bull Keyhani 3 233 qz Good instructor too arrogant
3620 Dynamics Becker 1 200 qz
3630 Mechanics of Machinery Holland 1 400 Ii) Excellant lots of stories
4511 Systems Smith 1 400 D A good guy
4670 Machine Elements Holland 1 100 ~ Always off on a tangent You have
middotto teach yourself grades easy
MICROBIOLOGY 2910 Gen Microbio
McMahOn 1 200 qz Never there- out making babies
4270 Immunology Wust ~ 2 100 ~ Lost In Space If he talked any faster hed explode Its not if the ans~er is right or wrong its if he likes it
MILITARY SCIENCE 1110 Fund Military Org
Benton 1 350 -05 A Hamilton Martin
1 350 -05 JiI 1 400 81
A great American hero 2110 Leadershlp Development
Ro~ 1 400 Etassroom of raw unbridled
bored
il l
tol R
middot JAME~middot 0 ~~C~(N
~Cgt
Buy 5pound- Lmiddot
rRAUpoundt-Ps (IiSSCrrf5middot cos
EHIND WAtCrRE N
The Lame nnII L Manifesto
llnP 16-25 26-35 3 1)middot40
MUSIC 1000 Fund Music Thoory
Hawthorne 1 200 ~ Good instructor very fair on testing a lotto be learned about music clt
1210 Music Appreciation Sadie 1 300 It Trevor l 300NC Jt Is never there
1230 History of Rock amp Roll Young 7 343 lll Great prof -rough tests Greit class Hes on drugs and on the rag Weird and w~ird TA
3652 Campus Band Sparks 2 150 -05 (gt Jerk Two-faced tells bad jokes Music choice is good tho
3657 Marching Band Julian 1 000 pound Not a human being
3950 Evolution ofJ~ Coker 1 400 l1fll Great sax player good jokes
NUTRITION 1010 Food Principles
Costello 1 400 NC D Great course great teacher
2210 Intro Trns Fd -Lodg Adinin Jones 1 loPO S
3210 Food Service Sys Mmg I~ Sneed l 200
PHYSICAL EDUCA nON 2707 El~entary Badmitoh
Trappmann 1 200 Crazy middotNazi
~
f
oPt A rf~R
NOON
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~
~-
The Lame Monkey Manifesto
2772 Intenned Swimming Zhu 1 100
2781 Elem Tennis
3610 Electronics Elston SB 1 300 Two hour lectures zzzzzzz
Curtis 2 225 qz PLANT AND SOn SCIENCE She flirts with all the guys Doesnt help at all during class Schoonmak~ 1 300 m
2782 Intenned Tennis Penna 1 350 A
PHllOSOPHY 1510 Intro Philosophy
+20 qz ~
15 qz
Brenkert 1 200 Green l 300 Hamlin 2 250 Strange fonnat for class Hilliardmiddot 1 400 Interesting as a person teacher and friend Postow 1 100 Cure for insomnia
1511 Human Conditions Van deVate 1 300 -10 JjI Challenging but reasonable
1810 Intro-Symbolic Logic
2510
Grunfeldmiddot 1 000 Its gibberish I cant see the reasoning for taking this ElemLogic Grunfeld 4 325 Pair tests confusing lectures Roddymiddot l 100
2130 Soils Graveel 1 400 NC Jl)
POLITICAL SCIENCE 2020 Intro to Peli Sci
Allende 1 200 Hard to understand
2510 US Govt and Politics Robinson 1 200 NC qz Subject could be interesting but class time is not Scheb 1 200 Dull really knows how to kill a subject
2518 Honors US Govt Poli
2520
3130
Ungs 1 300 Good discussions sometimes too dry New Deal liberal but faiT US Govt and Politics Gant 1 400 +40 Jl) Very entertaining and inspiring made a dull subject fun Plaas 1 300 A Simonesmiddot 400 Jl) Dynamic lecturer Fun exciting stimulating motivating Pop Culture and Amer Politics Fittgerald 2 400 NC Jl) Exhibits the true defInition of what
3111 Boring never comes to class Ancient West Philo Van de Vate 1 400 Brilliant challenging teacher Ethics aand Society
a professor should be pound 3390 Coritemp Issues
PittgeraldIR 9 400 +03 Iib 3440
Postowmiddot 1 200 qz OK lecturer but he is confusing or confused
PHYSICS 1210 Intro Physics
Nielsen 4 075 -13 pound
2210
Its like being buried in an anthill then dipped in turpentine and set ablaze Lectures pointless This is a fucking intro course Loses approx 50 of all work turned in Still uses a slide rule Elements of Physics Childers 3 133 Boring and disorganiz~d
2310 Fund Physics Childers 1 100
2318
2320
2330
3110
Memorize everything including all equations Stelson 4 175 Cannot teach Easy tests Thompson 6 133 Brilliant physicist but a pitiful instructor To this day (5 days before fmals) 1 have no idea what the man is talking about Honors Fund Physics Riedinger 1 400 +20 Iib Fund Physics Calcott 200 +03 qz Decent lecturer but dont ask him a
question King 4 400 Jl) Better than anyone else teaching the course Elem of Physics Handler 3 333 ~ Good teaCher good partial credit Mechanics Shih 1 200 qz The bOok was better
3545
3546
This is not a class this is an emotional expierence ReaIly into material gives kick-ass lectures Constitutional Law Series SchebSteph 2 400 NC Jl) Good lectures fair tests Constitutional Law Series StephenS 1 200 Nice man pathetic format
3605 Pol Chan in Dev Areas
3631
3712
4410
Dodd 1 400 Likes the subject Gov and Pol of Sov Union Piennan 1 300 Grades much too tough US For Pol Processes Peterson 1 400 Good teacher good subject Law and Admin Pro Ungs 1 400 Interesting issues
4665 Public Policy Smith 2 350 Intelligent man difficult class new perspectivesAs conservative as Hell
PORTUGESE 1510 Elem Portugese
Rodiiguez 1 400 i1l The best teacher to teach Portu-guese to a bunch of sloppy disinter-ested students
1520 Elem Portugese Julian 3 367 Jl) Boa tarde Simply the best She cares about her students
PSYCHOLOGY 2500 Gen Psych
Henley 3 400 + 10 ~ Interesting approach brings it down to a personal ievel Phillipeamiddot 1 350 lB
~- -- ---- -~ - - -- ---- - -- --- -- ~ -- -
January 4 1988
2518 Honors Gen Psych Calhoun 1 400 I Small individualized class he makes it fun with jokes and stories
2520 Bio Poundation of Behavior Shrader 1 350 JiI VanCleave 2 400 NC Jl) Made the class more than just facts
2530 Psych as a Social Science VanCleave 2 3 85 Jl)
2540 Psych of Indiv Smith M 1 400 Jl) Take during the mini-tenn(with the football team) Anything Smith teaches is an middotA
3120 SQcialPsych Eissenberg 300 ~tif Good instructor but needs voice training
3150 Psych Statistics Handel 1 300 J)f Good teacher but his tests arent always overwhat he ~ught Smith M 2 400 NC ~ Good teacher and the fmal was a take-home
3210 Learning and Thinking middotMalone 1 400 NC Jl) Pollio 1 400 Jl]l Good class if youre going to make a career of going to school Smith M 4 325 J9 I think hes on LSD Very interesting kept my attention
3550 Child Psych Wahler 400 ~
3650
4230
Abnonnal Psych Wiberly 1 000 pound Prof was good but text book and subject matter offensive Sensory Proc amp Percep A Handel 2 150
When couldnt explain dropped into mathematical analogies Tests over what he wishes he could teach
4510 Personality Theories McIntyre 1 200 qz Extreme feminist strange person
4830 Hist and Sys of Psych Malone 2 300 ~m Intense lectures sinful tests
RECREATION 3100 Recre Leadership Proc
Cox 1 000 pound Lectures out of-book word for word
RELIGIOUS STUDIES 2120 Pounders in Religion
Linge 1 300 J9 Good speaker learned a lot
3021 Relig Myths Symbls and Rit Lusby 2 400 I Interesting and thought provoking Im in love with his mind
3311 Images of Jesus Dungan 1 400 Jl) P ascinating
3370 Intro to Christianity Linge 2 150 ) Disorganized all info for exams not discussed in class
7w WI ~ tu6 _j ~ t yu ~t ~ ~~ ~ tupound~ ~iIf Y~~~~tCOUtl
[jjj [JlJ 0 WI [f ~ ampJ 0 [p)71DmrflofJi) l ~9tA Y~ 38ru4u1 ~ 38e11 ~~IF~~it
January 4 1988 The Lame Monkey Manifesto
Number right of instructors name Is the jotal numbered surveyed Next over is the Instructors Grade point Average far right is GPAs Icon Next + is better - is worse and NC is steady compared to last quarters GPA II Bullets ( ) designate I~tructors not confirmed as teaching listed class
SOCIOLOGY 1510 Gen Sociology
Jacobson 2 250 Hes libral with a little common sense He sometimes calls off class Bidwell 1 400 I Fun easy tests not very hard just sit and listen Coleman - 1 400 NC Jrnl He lives for Sociology
- Harris 1 200 +10 ~ Teaching by television do~nt work
Heflin 1 400 1 Magnifico McKeeby 1 050 -25 pound Embarasses the hell out of you in -class if youre wrong Navarromiddot 1 400 Very complete
3110 Aspects of Spanish Lit Cobb 1 200 The manners of a goat
SPECIAL ED 5320 Manual Comm m
Barnesmiddot 1 400 DP Hubbardmiddot 1- 300
1520
3510
Wears sarne sweatshirt every day Perrin 2 200 ~ Teaches like a grad course Social Probs Dunaway 2 000 Q - should be killed Lies to students Entire number of lectures can be counted on one hand Didnt learn shit Norris Wallace
200 000
poundl6
Q -The teacher was not so ~ad but his TA was unfair and aline talked about was smoking pot and partyshying Juvenile Delinquency Black 1 000 Wanna fall asleep
Q -
Great guy interesting class SPEECH 2311 Public Speaking
I
2351
2361
Robertson 2 375 Took away the pressure of giving speeches Very relaxed atmosphere V~cl 1 100 ~ Interpersonal Commun Ambrester 3 400 NC I Relates to students Doesnt jerk you around like most profs Business and Profes Speaking McDaniels 1 400
4560 Rhet of Worn Rights Movem Cook 1 100 Tries to teach a rhetoric class by telling you the words but not the context in which they were spoken
SPANISH STATISTICS 1110 Elem Spanish 2100 Prob and Stats
Gl 2 400 fifll ennmiddot )l Beal 1 150 Got away with murder and still learned
Doesnt know how to explain
0-75 76middot1 5
Dixon 400 Cares about students Walker 2 400 NC Jrji Great teacher expresses material
well 3110 Regression and Corr Meth
1
3220
3450
Cwiek 1 400 The best in stats Niedart 2 250 ~
Very picky a tough grader on -exams Walker E
tests Sylwester 2 250 Be prepared to do ALL the homework
LoI Lo
THEATRE 2111 Acting
Harris 400 Ii) Great teacher knows his stuff Always in a good mood He gets to know each student personally
2252 Survey of World Dramas I Schmitt 1 400 NC
Ancient drama in modem terms
16-25 26-35 36middot 40
1RANSPORTATION 3115
4415
4720
2980
3990
4200
4720
Intro to Logistics Langley 1 200 -20 5lb
OK hard exams Freight Carrier Operations Patton _ 4 325 -03 4 Fair in coursework and tests 1
Logistic Sys Mgrnnt Sem middot ~ 51b Foggin 1 200
Teaches bare-bones essentiils and tests over his lectures Easy class if youve had Bio 123 Human Anatomy Milastan 1 400 Fair A hunk Zoo Coll6quim
I Greenburg 1 400 Ichthyology
I Etnier 400 Only instructor Ive had that would drink a beer with students Comp Animal Behavior
Bowers 1 400 Excellent instructor GreenburgB 1 300 Greenburgs great burghdts bizarre
WIN A DATE WITH JOHNNY MAJORSmiddot Oh What a Hunk Its NOT TOO LATE to win
A God in his own time Unbelieveable but yes The Lame Monkey Manifesto is giving one lUCKY soul an all-expense paid evening with Johnny Majors but only if you enter
You may have the opportunity to gaze deep into his eyes and ponder the meaning of UTK Wine Dinner Dancing A evening of football related conversation Allis possible if you wont tell his wife An enticing proposition all middotfor the low low price of free A stimulating adventure with this prime example of virility~ The season may be over but Johnny is still hot hot hot
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The Lame Monkey Manifesto January 4 1988
Logic Logic Whos Got the Logic Jesus Was a Commie and Darwin Wasnt Talking About Hulk Hogan Doug Collins Lame Monkey Philosophy Reporter
Well now well now it seems weve upset some people God That Good Natured Ole Tyrant has made some people react-not think mind you but read Lets analyze those reshyactions for a minute One writer a very (parenthetical) and (dogmatic) person who signs himself The Prophet has attempted to answer our little riddle Proph babe before you-call these questions shallow and redundant you should do a little reshysearch Saint Augustine and Saint Thomas Aquinas had difficulty with this one and even they lost sight of the problemgetting caught in the same
the buck Throw in omnibenevolence and
you see that God cannot by the nature of omnibenevolence choose evil or allow evil to be chosen If he does then it is not through inability to reconcile free will and an absence of evil for God is able to do anything And there ladies and gents is where you lost sight of the little pea in my previous she~l game article
If God can do anything then He can reconcile paradox The logically impossible is not even difficult pi can equal three cocks will crow at moonshyrise and magic is loose in the world God can be omnipotent omnibenevoshylent and support Alabama if He so chooses because He has the power I cant understand it but then I cant understand nested infinities or 4th dimensional curves either How can He do it Ask him not I
So what do we do now Well we abandon logic and enter the realm of faith I have faith that God does not exists I cant prove it because if He
morass of scripture in which you does exist then all my logical relationshyfound yourself stuck It is impossible ships are merely a fraction of His within the structures of logic to rec- being You can believe what you want oncile an omnipotent omniscient to I am disappointed that no one omnibenevolent deity with the exis- caught the gimmick in my first article tence of evi Once again Ill point out Oh well you were probably too horrishythe fallacy of the free wiil argument fied by the prospect of a Godless uni-
First of all free will is itself incon- verse Speaking of which shall we sistent with omniscience and discuss Lonnie Rapers pathological omnipotence If ~~~~~~- dependence on God knows every- God the Father for thing then he hismoralandethi-knows what I am cal standards about to do and Gently now we has known sinee dont want to he said fiat lux frighten him (God spoke Latin Lon n ie yknow) There- sweetie athe-fore he knows if I ists was the cor-will choose good rect term Secular or evil If God is humanist is a omnipotent then Neo Dexter buzz he can cause me to word for anyone choose good or evil and in fact has who refuses to march in step Godshydone so Lose me on that one Well if less communists goes to far since I can do anything and I choose not to communism is a politico-economic act sntthat the same thing as acting system A system advocated by Jesus Haven-t I knowing the resul ts of inac- by the way at least as far as economics tion by not acting chosen -to those is concerned Jesus was not a results In other words can God pass capitalist
I saw Jesus go by the doorway of my lecture hall this morning He paused momentarily as if to explain Sorry cant stay Im late for My religious studies class
He was wearing a tie-dyed Grateful Dead shirt And carrying an art pad and some Middle Estern Civilization textbooks Iwanted to go running after him and ask him For his phone number just in case I ever got in troubleshyThen I smiled And realized how foolish that would be
Now lets turn to the argument probably more fitto survive the social itself I was willing to go along with environment Like the old story about you until you equated survival of the the bundle-of sticks one stick by itself fittest with might makes middot right can be broken combine the sticksand This is a common f they are stronger perversion of Dar- - Actually -I think win wherein sur- ~ ~ that this is both vival of the fittest lt self-evident and become survlVal of ~ _ ~ an endorsement of
Th ~ ltgt (r the strongest e ~ -~lt ~ __ rt~compassionate so-two are not the I ~ ~~ ~ I cieties If you be-same ~ffY lt -- J _ ~I lieve tha~ a socially
Hulk Hogan ~W ~~ f -5J ~f ~ responSIble SOCI-the man the myth r r r- _ tW~ ety is so unfitthat it the legend able to flrr=-~ ji~ ~ must be propped eat steel bars and r I up by God all you shit nails would 11 if are saying is that pop like a balloon if since God is shoved suddenly I i strongest let His into even a rela- Just Another will prevail That is tively soft vacuum Godless Communist truly might mak-yetthere small weak and timid bacte- ing right You seem unable to accept ria which cope at ease Why Because that the universe may a cold and the bacteria are more fit to survive lonely place but just because you that environment Just so with ethical dont like it dont mean it aint so systems Wrap yourself in illusions Lonnie
If a system based on rights and a but dont pawn them off as reality concern for justice is more popular Some of us dont need God to keep us than a dog-eat-dog anarchy then it is warm at night
~AnnMK Patil Mozingo Contraception Kills
4 1988 The Lame J Manifesto
he Winter Weather Worrywart Checklist Lauralie Morton Lame Monkey Weather Correspondent
Well it seems that we are presently the victims of an excessively precipishytant winter season and it is apparent that we have some amateur worriers out there in the nooks and crannies of readerland Having had the unmitishygated delight of living out twentyshythree wjnters in this burgeoning meshytropolis I consider myself an expert in the field of professional weathershyworry If you follow the directions exactly as presented here I can assure you a successful survival of the terror this winter might bring
1 If ad verse conditions are preshydicted )mmediately rush out to the nearest grocery store and stock up on staples and non-perishables The cruel terrain of East Tenness~e
coupled with ice-covered roads could strand you for weeks on end How horrible to starve to death in your
own home just because you ignored your scout promise to be prepared Tomato soup grilled cheese sandshywich fixings and four kegs of beer are essential to a basic survival kit
2 Do not drive at all from Novemshyber 1st through April 15th If you must drive be sure to pump your brakes when going up hills My sisters husbands cousins doctor once told me that this gives good tracshytion For Gods sake slam on the brakes if you start to slide on snow or ice This will at least ensure your departure from this world in a genushyine blaze of glory
3 Be a good weather-watcher Know the difference between the jet stream and the blood stream Monitor temperature fluctuation~_ at fifteen minute intervals That harmless little raincloud out there could easily metashymorphose into a full-blown blizzard just because the temp drops a degree or two And just imagine your shame at being caught in the unawares
Theres No Place Like Colectors Choice
Theres No Place Like
MOVED TO NEW LOCATION -2104 Cutnbedand bull Next to -Davis-Kidd
GAMES bull COMICS ~ MINIATURES BASEBALL CARDS
_ MOVIE POSTERSmiddot STAR TREK
when all you had to do was call the local times and temperature number four times an hour
4 If you are at work or school when you spot that first flake leave immeshydiately It is helpfu1to clog Kingston Pike Cucumberland A venue and the interstate system with thousands of frightened commuters all at once The glut of traffic keeps the precipitation be it snow or ice from ever reaching the streets surface
5 Feel free to sled and frolic onyour neighborhood streets This will keep you from getting out in your car and sliding over anYsmall children~who might be sledding on your neighborshyhood streets You probably wont get hurt
Now that weve established a few precautions lets discuss how to best enjoy this weather Here are a few suggestions to cure that cabin fever
1 Watch MTV until your eyes glaze over The minute-by-minute intellecshytual challenges of music videos will provide you with hours of thrills and
chills 2 Do not read anything This is
imperative You already have to do enough reading as it is so dont let this pollutant leak into your recreashytional space
3 Urinate your middot name in a snowshybank (This is especially entertaining for females)
4 Indulge yourself in otherwise decadent luxury Take a bubble bath for two days or until the snow melts--- whichever comes first Stuff yourself on chocolate raisins and lisshyten to Windham Hill until you beshycome comatose
5 Teach yourself to armpit-fart Let It Snow Lust after Vanna White and Pat Sajak while giving yourself a pedicure Fake a British accent while ordering a pizza
Well I could go on with these entershytaining suggestions all day but youve got the basic idea In essence a snowstorm can be compared to sexshyas long as youre prepared you can
stop worrying and enjoy yourself
On September 13 1 ~86i Sherman Smith died of boredom
in his neighborhood Laundromat ) -
Too bad he didnt know about middot Harvey Washbangers the Laundromat and
Pub where the fun never stops
Open 9AM to 12 Midnight 7 days a week Free Dryers M-F 9AM to 12 Noon ~~
1 Alt
LAUNDROMAT
e -
2114 Cumberland Ave Ort the Strip
Dry U51
Service A
t I
t I - I
t t
The Lame Manifesto 4 1988 Page 12
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The Lame Manifesto
3600 Trans Planning Wegmann z 250 4210 Intro to Physical Biochem
Churchich 1 000
lSF CLASSICS 1110 Beginning Latin I
Sounds like Dracula on Valium Time would be better spent watching 3710
Too much hom~wqrk unclear lectures Materials of Construction
Craig 2 400 NC II Good sense of humor enthusiastic Hes wonderful you want to learn Rutledge 2 100 ) Arrogant and rude Knows his Latin but is very abrupt and impatient with students
renms of Lost in Space
BIOLOGY 1210 Gen Biology
Mescall Y 1 400
Knew the material made it interesting Rakes Shutemiddot
1 2
300 325
Very organized and patient 3120 Cell Biology
Jeon 3 200 Never explains material justS gives page numbers Hes a creationist if youre not dont take him
Doesnt write anything down Skims over things in lecture
Whitson 2 350 JiI Good but only teaches in the falL5hows slides in class to break monotony At least he laughs at l)is own jokes
3130 Gen Bio Etnier 400 Teaches with a beer in his hand
BOTANY 1110 Fund Botany
Sheetzmiddot 400 Too bad shes married
1118 Honors Fund Botany Jones 1 400
BROADCASTING 2720 Intro to Broadcasting
Moore 2 300 +05 ~ Very informative and lectures are very good Interesting class lectures not based on assigned reading
3360 TV and Radio Advertising 9 Howard 1 000 shy
Time consuming bullshit assign-ments
3650 TV and Radio Writing Holt 1 000 Material has no useful value
4030 TV Production G Johnson 1 400 Best Ive ever had Really teaches really cares
4680 Brd Sales Mgt Holt I 100 Material has no useful value
5620 Broad Law Moore 1 300 Tries to make class interesting but material not interesting
BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION 3110 Intro to International Bus
4110
Dicer 1 400 Presents material in interesting manner Uses real life situations Envir Business Law
-Stowers 1 100 Rambling
CIVIL ENGINEERING 2260 Surveying
Chatterjee Grecco
200 100
Videotaped courses suck 3210 Anal of Framed Str
Moore l1 f 26i ~ Boring as hell Look at old tests and
labs _ 4230 Legal amp Etlubl Aspcts of En
Kressin 1 200 -10 lSF Be prepared for class discussion
4410 Deft Stat Indeter Str Johnson - 2 250
4540 Computer Utilizl1ion Bennett 1 400 Resume boost
2220 Greek Myth Tandy
2230 Greek Myth 400
Tandy 2 400 Great job explaining myths Interesting and funny
2510 Greek Lit w Eng Trans 4640 Traffic Engr
Wegmann 1 400 Rutledge 1 350
II 3340 Cities of Greek ampRoman Wrld Clear fair concise
5430 Const Mmngt Deatherage 1 200
CHEMISTRY 111 0 Gen Chemistry
Chambers 1 400 Good lectures funny man Assumes students are idigtts Kleinfelter 8 038 Terrible Cant explain it and you never meet him Going to class is useless ~You just try to ask a question iTIisier Those damn TVs ZZZZZZ Extremely boring Good class for sleeping Adcock 2 250 lSF Good lectures Quizzes taken from notes Tests are unfair
1118 Honors Gen Chern
1120
Lane 2 400 I failed his class but hes still a great teacher Treats students like they are bright General Chemistry Q -Kleinfelter 2 000 Pagni 000 pound Talks in amonotone only addresses the first two rows Could not care less
t 130 Gen Chern Cook 000 NC
1520
2140
3211
3221
Doesnt have a clue crazy as hell Kleinfelter 2 000 -20 pound Give him the same he gave me Gen Org Bio Chern Kalbalka 1 400 Anal Chemistry Sepaniak 1 200 Never around for consultation in a difficult class Organic Chemistry Bartmess 1 200 Boring and confusing Eastham 1 000 -30 pound Eastham doesnt know how to teach Lane 2 400 Great instructor Makes organic interesting Magid - 1 400 Organic Chemistry Kabalka 1 400
3231 Drgaruc Chemistry
Gesell 1 200 NC lSF Dry long lectures Whole class is taught by slides which is somewhat fun Subject is fascinating if youre into architecture
4050 Directed Readings in Greek Tandy 1 400
4310 Selected Readings inLatin Lit Rutledge 1 300 ~
COMMUNICATIONS Ill 0 Intro to Comm
Holt 2 400 Easy if you attend class The guys a riot
COMPU1ER SCIENCE 1410
1510
1620
2215
Intro Bus Orient Prog Brumgard 1 200 Cant relate info to students Rodriguez 1 000 pie scum Sledjeski 3 400 Great buns Dating material
Q Intro to FORTRAN Brumgarsmiddot 1 000 Intermed Structure Prog Mayo 1 400 I Good pace instructor didnt expect too much or too little Discrete Structures Thomason 1 000 pound Teacher was dead on his feet No energy no interest no A
3025 Computers and Society
3150
3155
3410
Ploch 3 200 Must be difficult to make an extremely boring subject interestshying Boring yet useless Intro Num Algor and Prob Hines 1 000 Needs to die a screaming death1ffih Ghatak 1 400 JtjJ
Kumarmiddot 1 100 ~) Youll get at least a D or a C but you wont learn anything Intro Num Algor and Prob Alexiades 1 300 JiI Makes impossible understandable
COBOL Baker 2 250 What a hard ass Hard to get hold of for help
3520 Assembly Language Program Binder 2 375 Tames a bitch really well
3910 Com Comp Conc Control
Goodpasture 1 400
Eastham 1 000 -35 pound The water spigot and the heater will both get As
I CHINESE Galbraith 1 150 Personality of a diaItone
Fair tests easy material 3230 Design of Framed Str
Goodpasture 1 300 Look at old tests
2531 Beg Chinese Bokenkamp 400 Easily the best teacher Ie ever had
ECOLOGY 5100 Special Probs
Packard 350
4 1988 Page 4
ECONOMICS 2510 Intro to Econ
Cole 8 313 - Jil Great lectures but confusing tests Boring subject but he explains it well Deprez 6 298 Great ~eacher Phillips 5 21 0 -12 lSF Multiple choice tests fairly easy Long lectures hard tests Talks
fast lut good WorrieS too much about his boats Boring egotistishycal
2520 Intro to Econ Clark 2 200 +04 lSF Knows his stuff but should come with No-Doze pills Wouldnt let _ us see our tests after we took them Deprez 2 225 +23 lSF
This guy is a clown Phillips 2 350 +20 ~ Hard to understand I never went to class just read the book I still got an A ~
3110 Intermed Micro Theory
3340
Glustoff 5 080 +03 ) Impossible exams instructor paced the room and confused students more than taught Dont bother going to class Waste of time going to class buy the book Just study his workbook Govt and Business Brown 1 400 I Very enthusiastic
4233 Poli Econ USSR amp Est Europe Feiwel 1 100 () Poor communicator very repetishytive
EDUC CURRIC AND INSTRUCT 3021 School In the Amer Society
Dellinger 1 300 4304 Dev Reading Ski Cont Field
Ryan 1 300
EDUC amp COUNSELINQ PSYCH 3002 Ed Psych
Poppenfho 1 400
ELECTRICAL ENGINEERING 2010 Circuits I
2020
2030
Adams 7 257 Cant even copy off his own notes
Grading system a little screwed but he is a good teacher Fair teacher gets confused easily R~lates well to circuit elements Googe 2 400 Googe is cool as hell Roberts 1 000 Horrifying tests Circuits II Bishop 3 267 +04 _l~ Eager to teach Great instructor Only class where I actually learn~ something He will dick students completely Circuits III Googe 400 NC
3010 Transient Anal I
II Googe 3 400 + 10 Explains completely Googe is cool
3040 - Basic Comm Syst McCullough 1 000 pound Worse class ever Terrible teacher impossible tests and shes $ I Tillman 1 000 JZ 10 weeks of aimless babbling
learn shit
Page 5 41988 The Lame Manifesto
Number right of instructors name is the total numbered surveyed Next over Is the Instructors Grade point Average far right is GPAs icon Next + is better - is worse and NC is steady compared to last quarters GPA Bullets ( ) designate instructors not confirmed as teaching listed class 0-75 76-15
D 16-25 26-35 36-lt10
3050
3060
3080
3090
3100
3110
Koch 200 Too much homework tests difficult Basic Field Theory Neff 5 300 +10Jif lusts ulncs doesnt teach Knows the material but doesnt teach it well Reads his own book but will help if interested Too easy Tillman 1 000 Didnt learn anything Propagation Tillman 2 125 Poor lecturer removed from reality not very relevant to this universe Power Patton 2 050 Expects too much for an intro class teaches like it is a grad class Teacher lacks ability to communishycate what he knows Rude to students who challenge his understanding Power Bailey l 300 +20Jif Very reJaxed style Symonds 2 350 Like having class with Monty Python Random Signals Hoffman 3 033 -32 pound Bad instructor horrible book Nice guy but worthl~ss as an instructor Circuits and Fields Googe 1 - 400 Abidi 3 300 Fair but incredibly abrasive
3120 Electronics
3180
3190
Waller 4 250 Mr Microphone One wordshyBoring Logic Design McCullough 2 250 +05 6p Needs to slow lecture down -Plasmal Alexeff 3 367 Makes learning fun Roth 4 100
+07 I
Doesnt care about students understanding only about getting thru the syllabus Only he uh knows uh what the uh hell he is uh talking about
3720 Linear Systems Anal Neff 2 350 Excellant in every category
3810 Electronics I Mukund 2 Blalock 2
400 200
NC
Assumes you take 3 hrs a quarter 3820 Electronics IT
Pierce 400 +30 I Learned things apply to real world
3830 Electronics ill Rochelle 5 380 -02 ~ Excellent teacher Workable projects Learned a lot Better than Pierce
4470 MHD
4600
4630
Akxeff 2 300 He enjoys teaching Cool guy too much vector analysis Analog Signal Processing Blaylock 2 200 Great teacher but digresses endlessly Compo Syst Org Bodenheimr 4 350 ~tiI Very usefur info GREAT instrucshytor Tough but applicable projects
4700 Digital Integrated Electronics Blalock 1 400 Interesting material good book
4740 Integrated Circuits KeJlI)edy 1 400 +20 II
4850 Small Computer Systems Bishop 1 200 If youre a computer jock you probably know more than Bishop
ENGLISH 1010 Eng Comp
Datzmiddot 000 9 - doesnt know material treats us like 3id graders Rohloftmiddot 1 - 400 One of the best Anderson 1 400 + 10 I Very off-the-wall but lots of fun Culberson 2 350 ~ EBest Ive ever had She made me like English Cullettemiddot 400 Fun as hell butkinda weird I) Davis 1 100 Demastes 2 325 -08 Jif Funny fair Boring fairly easy Duvall 1 100 (I Its not just the instructor the class itinerary sucks monkey turds Eckhardt 1 400 I Great dresser Elvis Costello fan interesting topics Fogelman 1 300 Haney 200 Doesnt teach English Babbles about works she has read Hardwig 1 300 The woman is nuts Lomanginomiddot 1 300 Fun in class but killer grading McKinstymiddot 1 400 I Extremely good bull Pigg 1 000 NC pound Knowledgable but obnoxious Stone 2 400 I Lee 1 200 ~ Good but too emotional Slagle 1 300 She gets better as the quarter goes on
1018 Honors English Comp
1020
1031
1032
1033
Lewis 1 300 Shes not big on deadlines Stillman 1 200 6p Knowledgeable but intolerant Ki~s his ass and youll do fine Zomchick 1 300 Very intelligent but opinionated English Comp Carroll 1 350 Learned a lot Thinks he is Shakespeare Elkin 1 Irwin 1
400 400
Class never moved that nice before Powell 400
I I
Is aware of students presence and talks to them personally Swainmiddot 1 350 Comes from the hippie generation(Cool teacher) English COinp Farriermiddot 1 100 English Comp Sprague 1 250 A f bitmiddot who ogles guys Tech Writing Blankenship 1 370 Fair and friendly
V Brentano 1 Ball 1
200 -20 6p
400 I Useful infonnative Little to no BS assignments
1038 _ Honors English Comp Zomchick 1 400 Lively thoughtcprovoking
- discussions and my writing actually improved
1451 Eng Comp Williamsonmiddot 1 400 II Fantastic teacher Only class Ive had at UT where I felt no pressure
2510 English Masterpieces -poundif 1rJl
2520
2531
2660
Clark 1 300 Eckhart 400
Simpson 1 middot 400 II Fantastic I really liked this class Tschantz 1 2006p English Masterpieces Lafaro 1 000 pound Arner Masterpieces Bullard 1 350 Boring but pretty good Intro to Drama Carol 1 370
2680 Intro to Novels HlIITllriontree 2 200
One person forum Perverted readings intense lectures lotsa work
3110 Fluid Mech BakerAI 29 362 Highly recommended Fair tests Gets excited about water Best dressed Engr prof on campus Strict about homework Lots of learning Forrester 000 Did not present material clearly
3311 Mechanics of Materials Brooks 3 067 Duhhhhh Hes a geek Presentashytion of material is so bad Hodgson 100 -Doesnt teach anything Landes 4 350 Great Helpful Patient Were having a pizza party Mathews 3 000 -10 Good for sleePing Pih 6 000 NC Ahole to an extreme Likes to give Fs Bad attitude Wasserman i 400
3320 Mechanics of Materials Mathews 2 middot 150 When youre roommate only goes to class twice and gets an A and you go all quarter and get aD its bad
Time flies Penner 200
6p 3410 Intro Biomed Engr Wasserman 5 320
Knows material but too infatuated with own opinion
2690 Intro to Film Studies Holtzclaw 2 200 -20 6p Class is too difficult for 2000 level I wish I didnt have to take it Maland 2 350 Interesting and interested
3042 Colloq in Literature Heffernan 1 400 Instructor managed to blend English history and philosophy into one extraordinary class
Likes to break legs Best Ive ever had
3700 Dynamics Forrester 1 300 Concerned about basics Kim 2 200 -20 LSllgt Not easy but fair Soliman 2 400 Best teacher I have ever had at UT
4710 Vibration BrQoks 4 225 qzgt
3045 _ Intro to Literary Criticism Dunn 1 200 6p 4810
No way to talk to him outside class doesnt teach middothell Engr Anal Wasserman Rather abstract 400
I FINANCE 3120 Business Finance
3435 Film and Arner Culture Maland 1 400
3840 Adv Writing Lewis
3850 Persuasive Writing 300
Bensel-Mey 1 300 Knows her stuff course structure great
4020 Shakespeare
4140
4651
Carroll
Dynamic teacher Adv Tech Writing Riley 1 SamSon Southern Lit
400
400 300
Ensor 2 350
NC
ENVIRONMENT ENGINEERING 3120 Hydraulics
Fredrick 1 400 3330 Elem Hydrology
Frederick 1 300 4030 Envr Engr Chem
- Robinson 1 400
ESM 2720 Dynamics
Pih 3 000 Dr Pih is a ridiculous excuse for a teacher Remenjik 1 000 Has zero insight into students perspective Absolutely cannot communicate
3130
3510
Newman 2 400 Takes the students into considera-tion and teaches them what is important Shao 200 Says clearly too much Bus Finance Trimble 300 Moody Clayton 000 Bring crossword puzzle to class For such an interesting subject he makes it extremely dull Boehmmiddot 1 200 Laid back but boring as hell
Zagagi R 2 000 He doesnt speak English and he doesnt know what the hell he is doing An easy course made difficult US Finan System Newman 3 400 Really cares about students Vines 1 300 -10 Tests can be a bitch Black 1 100 If you want to leam and fail this class is for you
ContinUed Next Page
I
1
The Lame
4110 Investment Anal Hogan 1 400 Hilarious This guys a riot
4840 Real Estate Investment Goolsby 1 300 30 Easy but he put me to sleep
FORESTRY 1620 Intro to Forr
Hay 350 FRENCH -1110
2110
ElemFrench Rabo 1 100 Expects perfection frrst day Intermed French Curry 4 325 Helps a lot Tries hard very boring Genuiriely interested in tellching Hottel 400 Interesting fun class Petrovska 1 000
II
JiI
JiI
You must speak perfect French one mistake = F Striblingmiddot 400 Great sense of humor
2120 Intermed French Petrovska 1 000 Slavic bit who kicked Satan out
1 of Hell
2910 F~nch Lit with Eng Trans WIllace 1 350
GEOGRAPHY 1610 Intro to Geography
Jumper 2 250 Fair but Spe~ too softly
1620 Intro to Geography - Rehder 3 367
Fridays are Hawaiian days Keeps theclass awake with lots of humQr
Used hundreds of slides I felt like Id beeIlaround the world Geo of Nat Envir Hom 3 233 Enthusiastic interesting has high expectations of students Waste of time going to lectures youll fall asleep
2130 Economic Geography
3530
3940
4740
5150
Bell 5 140 filird to take notes Boring mtmdane Covers material too
fast Ralston _ 1 400 +07 D All around gOod guy Land-Surface System and Man Harden 1 400 IilP Interesting and informative leCturer Geo of the Appalachia Brinkman 1 200 No textbook all reserve reading Interesting but tough class Remote Sensing Rehder 2 350 Rehders cool lots of slides Good guy
Intro Geog Research 9 AikenFores 2 050 -Makes Gulag look like Club Med more bullshit than a feedlot A terror
GEOLOGY 1010 Gen Geology
Kopp 1 100 Tries to trick students Dick-
head
Misra 3 267 liI Miller 2 400 NC II Does not tmdeistand grading Great lady Opened my eyes to the process Not bad Has rouble way the world and society really speaking English operate
Williams 2 200 ~ 1610 World Civ The good thing about this class is Farris 300 JlI that Life is short and this cl~s makes Cant afford to miss the lectures
Page 6
LINGUISTICS 2000 Lang Lingsts and Society
Dumas l 400 MANAGEMENT
fgt 3010 Principles of Management
Reed 2 150 Cranky old man Great speaking voice stated info clearly iKeem so long 2015 Hist Issues
Gen Geology pound Farr 1 400 1030 Prod Manageme)1t Noon 1 400
IrP 3110
Broadhead 1 000 2510 History of US I J9 Snotty arrogant afld non-caring Finger 2 350 _ Geo of N atl Parks Keeps you on your toes but I do Clark 1 400 II feel I learned something Every student should hear this Wheeler 1 400 teaching phenomenon 3140 English History Geol fgr Engineers At7 Pickney 2 350 Byerly 3 200 - - Take the class if you have the Good lab wasted lecture too boring interest
2410
for a 750 About as exciting as a 3150 England
rock Pickney 1 300 4550 Optical Minearalogy Really knows and enjoys teaching
Clark 1 400 I 3160 England 1832- Present
GERMAN Bohstedt 1 300 -10 JiI 1110 Elem Germ Realiy knows his stuff
00 9 H Harris 1 O - 3470 Russian Story Hodges 1 400 IiJ Chmielewsk 2 000 pound
2110 Intermed Germ Prof belittles students tests were Cather 1 4 Q9 I horrible students have no chance of Really wants to help passing
2120 Intermed German 00 A 3650 Civil W iJr and Rl eco~ 00 I
Hard but good Really cute Makund 1 000 pound ZuzzL
MANAGEMENT SCIENCE 2110 Decision Models
Stmdaro 1 000 Ho 200 Out in Twilight Zone
MARKETING 3110 Intro to Marketing
3120
Fine 1 300 Explains well Clemons 1 000 Eliminate Scott Clemons Marketing ~gt McMillan 2 150
9 -Rough but a great curve ~Boring rud~ Peters 4 200
Lauckner 1 1 1 Muldowny
Strange woman hard as hell Tough tests but he knows his stuff 3310 311 0 Intro to German Lit and lectures well
Bats eyes too much Lectures do not pertain to tests She knows her subject and appreciates her students Marketing Channels
Osbornemiddot 1 400 Jrjl 3931 US Hist WW II to Presellt J
Instructor is ~ery interested in his Johnson I 300 -05 El
sub]ectand siudents Enjoys teaching and material GRAPIDCS 4370 US Military History - 1410 EngrGraphicsI Johnson middot 1 400 NC II
Foster l 350 Jjf HUMAN ECOLOGy Teacher moved slowly and 1510 Human Dev
expl~ed ~swell lit Howell 1 30fJ Lyday 1 400 ItJ HUMAN SERVICES Cool guy Knows middotms shit Tries to 2n90 Inlro to Human Serv
- make EstabrookUaJl le~s ofa hole Knonick 1 400 NC 1 I-IEAL 11I had some really good stOri~ to 3510 Schooi Community Health ltgt relatihis topics
Aghamemiddot 1 000 - INDUSTRIAL ENGINEERING Thinks the overhead projector is the 3600 Motion and Time studies latest innovation in education Doulet 1 400
mSTORY 4150 Proj CompCPM andPert 1510 Western Civ I Kirby 1 100
Bing 2 100 + 10 ) 4520 Engineering Economy JfI lncoherent lectures butBing Ford 1 300
expectsmiddot very coherent fmal and mid- Doulet 3 367 ()3 Ji term anSwers ~ts of real life examples Farr 400 D ITALIAN The dude is in~ 9 1110 Elem Ita Haas 1 000 NC - Maria 1 300 Hitler-in-training A boy from Average cares about progress
brazil Pavlicelli 1 400 I McDonald 1 400 NC II Shes beautiful What a guy Fun knows things JAPANESE Pickney 5 350 JfI 2631 Elem Jap Fairest of all gives extra credit Ericson 1 400 Fuck Haas Bingmiddot Wry humor Interesting easy tesK makes a dull subject interesting JOURNALISM Brummett 2 300 Jjf 2215 Basic News Writing Get ready to read your ass off Caudill 1 000
1518 Honors Western Civ I Hufford 400
Shepherd 2 250 -05 ~ OK but Thinks hes groovy
3410 Buyer Behavior ~ Speck 1 400
Teughtests but great lectures 3510 Muketing Research
Faulds 1 100 -10 (gt 4140 Sales ForCe MlIJ)llgementmiddot
G~al 1 300 NC ~ Toomuch readirig
4610 Marlcet Opp Anal Rentz 1 300
MATERIALS SCIENCE 2030 Process Prinep and Materials
SPruiell 1 200 Defmition freak
211 0 Engr Materials I Becker 5 000 Takes out frustrations on students teaches way over sophomores head No one deserves this Loses you inlecture in 2 seconds
Doesnt give a shit about students Jumps all over you if you ask a question Talks in circles makes class too hard Benson 1 000
Arrogant SOB
Buchanan 1 400 Made the best of an average class
Fair grades and very tmderstandshy able
3130 Engr Materials ill Ashbee 1 000 -07 pound Borie 3 333 +03 poundif Hes cool as hell Fair tests and grades
Trainer 3 100 -03 ) Good and the TA is cute Hateful snobby high and mighty 3720 Adv Pub Relati~ 9 1140 Basic Math Couldnt care less about studentS Wolfe 1 000 _ Borthwick 1 O()()
MAW
Teacher was egotistical tmfair Slave driver Would have fit in well ~Bi~ prejudiced totally unprofes-pompous and boring in a Nazi camp
1520 Western Civ II lfi 4410 Mass Media and Society 1150 Bohstedt 2 400 lA Singletary 1 100 ) Very interested professional Worst excuse for a teacher Ive ever learned people seen
sional StatisJicll Reason Smith lC 1 000 I would not wish this heathen on my worst enemy
I I I
January 4 1988
Number right of instructors name is the total numbered suNeyed Next over is the Instructors Grade point Average far right is GPAs Icon Negt9 + is better - is worse ond NC is steady compared to last quarters GPA Bullets ( ) designate Instructors not confirmed as teaching listed class 0-7570-15
2840 Multivariable Calculus Anderson 1 400
1540 College Algebra Anderson 3 237 Dont need to go to lecture I would give him an F but I got a few good naps out of it
Dassioso 1 000 pound He speaks Greek and skips around on derivations
100 +10 ~ Harris 1 Harrington 1 300 JS Easy course teacher works Doesnt realize students are there anything_ Kuo - 1300 19 Smith 1 190 SIa Boring but a great class for
1550 Intro to Calculus working cross-word puzzleseasy
Brown 1 200 qz tests ~ Crump 1 400 Ii) Moziao 1 100 Gross 1 200 qz Travis 2 050 pound Yuck Confusing lectures Gives tests that Matthews 2 250 ~ require reading the entire book
Very hard to understand when he 2850 Multivariable Calculus shows up Alquiza 1 100 ~ Rowo 1 000 pound Very poor teacher Biased against
He teaches like an ostrich flies hes select students supposed to but he just doesnt get Anderson - 1 300 JjI around to it Great teacher but tests are rough
1560 Intro to Calculus Dydak 1 300 -10 ~ Caruth 1 380 trnJ El-Duma 1 000 pound Dosso 1 000 pound Retnam 1 100 ~ Row 1 000 2 Very hard to understand Never
1700 Pre-calculus changes clothes Coffee 1 200 qz Schippo 1 100 Mr Monotone bring a stiff drink or 2860 Multivariable Calculus a cup of coffee Alexiades 3 233 Dobbs 2 150 ~ ~ Decent teacher but you have to Doemt know how to explain work to get him interested No
anything moves too fast Great sYlabus No practicalc-applicatioris
sense of humor Alquiza 1 too ~ 1840 Single Variable Calculus Great teacher lousy tests
Coffee J O OOl~ i pound Bales - 1000middot pound Doemt like to teach 6 out of 50 Prof was abolrt as iRteresting and passed class persC1lable as a dead fish Taught out Daverman 2 150 ~ _ of thebOok~ Subject was stupid
Acts like an ex -chuggie hav ing numbeT tricks middotDTs middot Dalnis 3 Hintonlt 1 400 Ft McConnell 1
jjI 267 r
Q9O -33 ( ~
N~lte guy explains it very well Keller- middot l 100 ~ Huh The instrU~tor is a boring
wimpy monotonous dweeb Morris 1 400 tl) Made math a great experience PrestOno 1 400 trIl Sense of humor gets material across very well Extremely professional Stephenson 1 300 JjI Explains well goes slowly Wade 2 400 liiI Great professor He made the class interesting and understandable Zoran 1 400 D Funny He wore the samepants all quarter
Presentation of material was very
pOor 3155 Intro to Nwn Algor
Sonio 1 000 3310 Adv EuclideanGepm
Mulay 1200 3550 InteIDlediate Anal
Som R 1 000 Dr Soni is a total idiot
pound 3560middot middotIntermediate An~
Soni R 1 000
pound 4050 Matrix Algebra Appl McConnel 4 075 Incoherent Never let the class out on time Too strict in graiing Unwilling to answer questions or do examples
4250 - Intr Complex Anal Stepheson - 1 200
1841 Calculus for Biology Majors
1850
1860
2110
Kot 1 300 Good but gets sidetracked Single Variable Calculus Alquiza 1 200 Mulayo 000 Smith 100 Hes weird Single Variable Calculus Boriango 2 400 Great teacher learned a lot My God shes fair
Too much outside work required 4610 DiffEq
Simpson H 2 400 II Dassios had me sO messed up I couldnt do squat Now it all makes sense Great teacher but needs to work on his posture~
MEC~CALENGThffiERmG 3311 Engr Thermo
Amin 1 000 pound The wors~cher Impossible to McKinnyo l 400 tl)
~ 2 250 ~ - -S~tftmiddot t - ttOO ~- pound Arrogant son-of-a-bitA who did not
J~-tnOf~k questions -Hodgson 2 250 1 qz
know the material He encouraged everyone to drop hiS class Structure of Number System Stevens I 350
Not too willing to help students one-on one TestS are too hard
3330 ~grThenno Nguyen 2 150 -15 ~ Nice guy bad teacher
3520 Thermal Sciences Kektar 5 180 qzgt Decent Lame and hopeless
3530 Thermal Sciences Arnin 1 300 Jjf
3540 Heat Transfer bull Keyhani 3 233 qz Good instructor too arrogant
3620 Dynamics Becker 1 200 qz
3630 Mechanics of Machinery Holland 1 400 Ii) Excellant lots of stories
4511 Systems Smith 1 400 D A good guy
4670 Machine Elements Holland 1 100 ~ Always off on a tangent You have
middotto teach yourself grades easy
MICROBIOLOGY 2910 Gen Microbio
McMahOn 1 200 qz Never there- out making babies
4270 Immunology Wust ~ 2 100 ~ Lost In Space If he talked any faster hed explode Its not if the ans~er is right or wrong its if he likes it
MILITARY SCIENCE 1110 Fund Military Org
Benton 1 350 -05 A Hamilton Martin
1 350 -05 JiI 1 400 81
A great American hero 2110 Leadershlp Development
Ro~ 1 400 Etassroom of raw unbridled
bored
il l
tol R
middot JAME~middot 0 ~~C~(N
~Cgt
Buy 5pound- Lmiddot
rRAUpoundt-Ps (IiSSCrrf5middot cos
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The Lame nnII L Manifesto
llnP 16-25 26-35 3 1)middot40
MUSIC 1000 Fund Music Thoory
Hawthorne 1 200 ~ Good instructor very fair on testing a lotto be learned about music clt
1210 Music Appreciation Sadie 1 300 It Trevor l 300NC Jt Is never there
1230 History of Rock amp Roll Young 7 343 lll Great prof -rough tests Greit class Hes on drugs and on the rag Weird and w~ird TA
3652 Campus Band Sparks 2 150 -05 (gt Jerk Two-faced tells bad jokes Music choice is good tho
3657 Marching Band Julian 1 000 pound Not a human being
3950 Evolution ofJ~ Coker 1 400 l1fll Great sax player good jokes
NUTRITION 1010 Food Principles
Costello 1 400 NC D Great course great teacher
2210 Intro Trns Fd -Lodg Adinin Jones 1 loPO S
3210 Food Service Sys Mmg I~ Sneed l 200
PHYSICAL EDUCA nON 2707 El~entary Badmitoh
Trappmann 1 200 Crazy middotNazi
~
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NOON
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The Lame Monkey Manifesto
2772 Intenned Swimming Zhu 1 100
2781 Elem Tennis
3610 Electronics Elston SB 1 300 Two hour lectures zzzzzzz
Curtis 2 225 qz PLANT AND SOn SCIENCE She flirts with all the guys Doesnt help at all during class Schoonmak~ 1 300 m
2782 Intenned Tennis Penna 1 350 A
PHllOSOPHY 1510 Intro Philosophy
+20 qz ~
15 qz
Brenkert 1 200 Green l 300 Hamlin 2 250 Strange fonnat for class Hilliardmiddot 1 400 Interesting as a person teacher and friend Postow 1 100 Cure for insomnia
1511 Human Conditions Van deVate 1 300 -10 JjI Challenging but reasonable
1810 Intro-Symbolic Logic
2510
Grunfeldmiddot 1 000 Its gibberish I cant see the reasoning for taking this ElemLogic Grunfeld 4 325 Pair tests confusing lectures Roddymiddot l 100
2130 Soils Graveel 1 400 NC Jl)
POLITICAL SCIENCE 2020 Intro to Peli Sci
Allende 1 200 Hard to understand
2510 US Govt and Politics Robinson 1 200 NC qz Subject could be interesting but class time is not Scheb 1 200 Dull really knows how to kill a subject
2518 Honors US Govt Poli
2520
3130
Ungs 1 300 Good discussions sometimes too dry New Deal liberal but faiT US Govt and Politics Gant 1 400 +40 Jl) Very entertaining and inspiring made a dull subject fun Plaas 1 300 A Simonesmiddot 400 Jl) Dynamic lecturer Fun exciting stimulating motivating Pop Culture and Amer Politics Fittgerald 2 400 NC Jl) Exhibits the true defInition of what
3111 Boring never comes to class Ancient West Philo Van de Vate 1 400 Brilliant challenging teacher Ethics aand Society
a professor should be pound 3390 Coritemp Issues
PittgeraldIR 9 400 +03 Iib 3440
Postowmiddot 1 200 qz OK lecturer but he is confusing or confused
PHYSICS 1210 Intro Physics
Nielsen 4 075 -13 pound
2210
Its like being buried in an anthill then dipped in turpentine and set ablaze Lectures pointless This is a fucking intro course Loses approx 50 of all work turned in Still uses a slide rule Elements of Physics Childers 3 133 Boring and disorganiz~d
2310 Fund Physics Childers 1 100
2318
2320
2330
3110
Memorize everything including all equations Stelson 4 175 Cannot teach Easy tests Thompson 6 133 Brilliant physicist but a pitiful instructor To this day (5 days before fmals) 1 have no idea what the man is talking about Honors Fund Physics Riedinger 1 400 +20 Iib Fund Physics Calcott 200 +03 qz Decent lecturer but dont ask him a
question King 4 400 Jl) Better than anyone else teaching the course Elem of Physics Handler 3 333 ~ Good teaCher good partial credit Mechanics Shih 1 200 qz The bOok was better
3545
3546
This is not a class this is an emotional expierence ReaIly into material gives kick-ass lectures Constitutional Law Series SchebSteph 2 400 NC Jl) Good lectures fair tests Constitutional Law Series StephenS 1 200 Nice man pathetic format
3605 Pol Chan in Dev Areas
3631
3712
4410
Dodd 1 400 Likes the subject Gov and Pol of Sov Union Piennan 1 300 Grades much too tough US For Pol Processes Peterson 1 400 Good teacher good subject Law and Admin Pro Ungs 1 400 Interesting issues
4665 Public Policy Smith 2 350 Intelligent man difficult class new perspectivesAs conservative as Hell
PORTUGESE 1510 Elem Portugese
Rodiiguez 1 400 i1l The best teacher to teach Portu-guese to a bunch of sloppy disinter-ested students
1520 Elem Portugese Julian 3 367 Jl) Boa tarde Simply the best She cares about her students
PSYCHOLOGY 2500 Gen Psych
Henley 3 400 + 10 ~ Interesting approach brings it down to a personal ievel Phillipeamiddot 1 350 lB
~- -- ---- -~ - - -- ---- - -- --- -- ~ -- -
January 4 1988
2518 Honors Gen Psych Calhoun 1 400 I Small individualized class he makes it fun with jokes and stories
2520 Bio Poundation of Behavior Shrader 1 350 JiI VanCleave 2 400 NC Jl) Made the class more than just facts
2530 Psych as a Social Science VanCleave 2 3 85 Jl)
2540 Psych of Indiv Smith M 1 400 Jl) Take during the mini-tenn(with the football team) Anything Smith teaches is an middotA
3120 SQcialPsych Eissenberg 300 ~tif Good instructor but needs voice training
3150 Psych Statistics Handel 1 300 J)f Good teacher but his tests arent always overwhat he ~ught Smith M 2 400 NC ~ Good teacher and the fmal was a take-home
3210 Learning and Thinking middotMalone 1 400 NC Jl) Pollio 1 400 Jl]l Good class if youre going to make a career of going to school Smith M 4 325 J9 I think hes on LSD Very interesting kept my attention
3550 Child Psych Wahler 400 ~
3650
4230
Abnonnal Psych Wiberly 1 000 pound Prof was good but text book and subject matter offensive Sensory Proc amp Percep A Handel 2 150
When couldnt explain dropped into mathematical analogies Tests over what he wishes he could teach
4510 Personality Theories McIntyre 1 200 qz Extreme feminist strange person
4830 Hist and Sys of Psych Malone 2 300 ~m Intense lectures sinful tests
RECREATION 3100 Recre Leadership Proc
Cox 1 000 pound Lectures out of-book word for word
RELIGIOUS STUDIES 2120 Pounders in Religion
Linge 1 300 J9 Good speaker learned a lot
3021 Relig Myths Symbls and Rit Lusby 2 400 I Interesting and thought provoking Im in love with his mind
3311 Images of Jesus Dungan 1 400 Jl) P ascinating
3370 Intro to Christianity Linge 2 150 ) Disorganized all info for exams not discussed in class
7w WI ~ tu6 _j ~ t yu ~t ~ ~~ ~ tupound~ ~iIf Y~~~~tCOUtl
[jjj [JlJ 0 WI [f ~ ampJ 0 [p)71DmrflofJi) l ~9tA Y~ 38ru4u1 ~ 38e11 ~~IF~~it
January 4 1988 The Lame Monkey Manifesto
Number right of instructors name Is the jotal numbered surveyed Next over is the Instructors Grade point Average far right is GPAs Icon Next + is better - is worse and NC is steady compared to last quarters GPA II Bullets ( ) designate I~tructors not confirmed as teaching listed class
SOCIOLOGY 1510 Gen Sociology
Jacobson 2 250 Hes libral with a little common sense He sometimes calls off class Bidwell 1 400 I Fun easy tests not very hard just sit and listen Coleman - 1 400 NC Jrnl He lives for Sociology
- Harris 1 200 +10 ~ Teaching by television do~nt work
Heflin 1 400 1 Magnifico McKeeby 1 050 -25 pound Embarasses the hell out of you in -class if youre wrong Navarromiddot 1 400 Very complete
3110 Aspects of Spanish Lit Cobb 1 200 The manners of a goat
SPECIAL ED 5320 Manual Comm m
Barnesmiddot 1 400 DP Hubbardmiddot 1- 300
1520
3510
Wears sarne sweatshirt every day Perrin 2 200 ~ Teaches like a grad course Social Probs Dunaway 2 000 Q - should be killed Lies to students Entire number of lectures can be counted on one hand Didnt learn shit Norris Wallace
200 000
poundl6
Q -The teacher was not so ~ad but his TA was unfair and aline talked about was smoking pot and partyshying Juvenile Delinquency Black 1 000 Wanna fall asleep
Q -
Great guy interesting class SPEECH 2311 Public Speaking
I
2351
2361
Robertson 2 375 Took away the pressure of giving speeches Very relaxed atmosphere V~cl 1 100 ~ Interpersonal Commun Ambrester 3 400 NC I Relates to students Doesnt jerk you around like most profs Business and Profes Speaking McDaniels 1 400
4560 Rhet of Worn Rights Movem Cook 1 100 Tries to teach a rhetoric class by telling you the words but not the context in which they were spoken
SPANISH STATISTICS 1110 Elem Spanish 2100 Prob and Stats
Gl 2 400 fifll ennmiddot )l Beal 1 150 Got away with murder and still learned
Doesnt know how to explain
0-75 76middot1 5
Dixon 400 Cares about students Walker 2 400 NC Jrji Great teacher expresses material
well 3110 Regression and Corr Meth
1
3220
3450
Cwiek 1 400 The best in stats Niedart 2 250 ~
Very picky a tough grader on -exams Walker E
tests Sylwester 2 250 Be prepared to do ALL the homework
LoI Lo
THEATRE 2111 Acting
Harris 400 Ii) Great teacher knows his stuff Always in a good mood He gets to know each student personally
2252 Survey of World Dramas I Schmitt 1 400 NC
Ancient drama in modem terms
16-25 26-35 36middot 40
1RANSPORTATION 3115
4415
4720
2980
3990
4200
4720
Intro to Logistics Langley 1 200 -20 5lb
OK hard exams Freight Carrier Operations Patton _ 4 325 -03 4 Fair in coursework and tests 1
Logistic Sys Mgrnnt Sem middot ~ 51b Foggin 1 200
Teaches bare-bones essentiils and tests over his lectures Easy class if youve had Bio 123 Human Anatomy Milastan 1 400 Fair A hunk Zoo Coll6quim
I Greenburg 1 400 Ichthyology
I Etnier 400 Only instructor Ive had that would drink a beer with students Comp Animal Behavior
Bowers 1 400 Excellent instructor GreenburgB 1 300 Greenburgs great burghdts bizarre
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The Lame Monkey Manifesto January 4 1988
Logic Logic Whos Got the Logic Jesus Was a Commie and Darwin Wasnt Talking About Hulk Hogan Doug Collins Lame Monkey Philosophy Reporter
Well now well now it seems weve upset some people God That Good Natured Ole Tyrant has made some people react-not think mind you but read Lets analyze those reshyactions for a minute One writer a very (parenthetical) and (dogmatic) person who signs himself The Prophet has attempted to answer our little riddle Proph babe before you-call these questions shallow and redundant you should do a little reshysearch Saint Augustine and Saint Thomas Aquinas had difficulty with this one and even they lost sight of the problemgetting caught in the same
the buck Throw in omnibenevolence and
you see that God cannot by the nature of omnibenevolence choose evil or allow evil to be chosen If he does then it is not through inability to reconcile free will and an absence of evil for God is able to do anything And there ladies and gents is where you lost sight of the little pea in my previous she~l game article
If God can do anything then He can reconcile paradox The logically impossible is not even difficult pi can equal three cocks will crow at moonshyrise and magic is loose in the world God can be omnipotent omnibenevoshylent and support Alabama if He so chooses because He has the power I cant understand it but then I cant understand nested infinities or 4th dimensional curves either How can He do it Ask him not I
So what do we do now Well we abandon logic and enter the realm of faith I have faith that God does not exists I cant prove it because if He
morass of scripture in which you does exist then all my logical relationshyfound yourself stuck It is impossible ships are merely a fraction of His within the structures of logic to rec- being You can believe what you want oncile an omnipotent omniscient to I am disappointed that no one omnibenevolent deity with the exis- caught the gimmick in my first article tence of evi Once again Ill point out Oh well you were probably too horrishythe fallacy of the free wiil argument fied by the prospect of a Godless uni-
First of all free will is itself incon- verse Speaking of which shall we sistent with omniscience and discuss Lonnie Rapers pathological omnipotence If ~~~~~~- dependence on God knows every- God the Father for thing then he hismoralandethi-knows what I am cal standards about to do and Gently now we has known sinee dont want to he said fiat lux frighten him (God spoke Latin Lon n ie yknow) There- sweetie athe-fore he knows if I ists was the cor-will choose good rect term Secular or evil If God is humanist is a omnipotent then Neo Dexter buzz he can cause me to word for anyone choose good or evil and in fact has who refuses to march in step Godshydone so Lose me on that one Well if less communists goes to far since I can do anything and I choose not to communism is a politico-economic act sntthat the same thing as acting system A system advocated by Jesus Haven-t I knowing the resul ts of inac- by the way at least as far as economics tion by not acting chosen -to those is concerned Jesus was not a results In other words can God pass capitalist
I saw Jesus go by the doorway of my lecture hall this morning He paused momentarily as if to explain Sorry cant stay Im late for My religious studies class
He was wearing a tie-dyed Grateful Dead shirt And carrying an art pad and some Middle Estern Civilization textbooks Iwanted to go running after him and ask him For his phone number just in case I ever got in troubleshyThen I smiled And realized how foolish that would be
Now lets turn to the argument probably more fitto survive the social itself I was willing to go along with environment Like the old story about you until you equated survival of the the bundle-of sticks one stick by itself fittest with might makes middot right can be broken combine the sticksand This is a common f they are stronger perversion of Dar- - Actually -I think win wherein sur- ~ ~ that this is both vival of the fittest lt self-evident and become survlVal of ~ _ ~ an endorsement of
Th ~ ltgt (r the strongest e ~ -~lt ~ __ rt~compassionate so-two are not the I ~ ~~ ~ I cieties If you be-same ~ffY lt -- J _ ~I lieve tha~ a socially
Hulk Hogan ~W ~~ f -5J ~f ~ responSIble SOCI-the man the myth r r r- _ tW~ ety is so unfitthat it the legend able to flrr=-~ ji~ ~ must be propped eat steel bars and r I up by God all you shit nails would 11 if are saying is that pop like a balloon if since God is shoved suddenly I i strongest let His into even a rela- Just Another will prevail That is tively soft vacuum Godless Communist truly might mak-yetthere small weak and timid bacte- ing right You seem unable to accept ria which cope at ease Why Because that the universe may a cold and the bacteria are more fit to survive lonely place but just because you that environment Just so with ethical dont like it dont mean it aint so systems Wrap yourself in illusions Lonnie
If a system based on rights and a but dont pawn them off as reality concern for justice is more popular Some of us dont need God to keep us than a dog-eat-dog anarchy then it is warm at night
~AnnMK Patil Mozingo Contraception Kills
4 1988 The Lame J Manifesto
he Winter Weather Worrywart Checklist Lauralie Morton Lame Monkey Weather Correspondent
Well it seems that we are presently the victims of an excessively precipishytant winter season and it is apparent that we have some amateur worriers out there in the nooks and crannies of readerland Having had the unmitishygated delight of living out twentyshythree wjnters in this burgeoning meshytropolis I consider myself an expert in the field of professional weathershyworry If you follow the directions exactly as presented here I can assure you a successful survival of the terror this winter might bring
1 If ad verse conditions are preshydicted )mmediately rush out to the nearest grocery store and stock up on staples and non-perishables The cruel terrain of East Tenness~e
coupled with ice-covered roads could strand you for weeks on end How horrible to starve to death in your
own home just because you ignored your scout promise to be prepared Tomato soup grilled cheese sandshywich fixings and four kegs of beer are essential to a basic survival kit
2 Do not drive at all from Novemshyber 1st through April 15th If you must drive be sure to pump your brakes when going up hills My sisters husbands cousins doctor once told me that this gives good tracshytion For Gods sake slam on the brakes if you start to slide on snow or ice This will at least ensure your departure from this world in a genushyine blaze of glory
3 Be a good weather-watcher Know the difference between the jet stream and the blood stream Monitor temperature fluctuation~_ at fifteen minute intervals That harmless little raincloud out there could easily metashymorphose into a full-blown blizzard just because the temp drops a degree or two And just imagine your shame at being caught in the unawares
Theres No Place Like Colectors Choice
Theres No Place Like
MOVED TO NEW LOCATION -2104 Cutnbedand bull Next to -Davis-Kidd
GAMES bull COMICS ~ MINIATURES BASEBALL CARDS
_ MOVIE POSTERSmiddot STAR TREK
when all you had to do was call the local times and temperature number four times an hour
4 If you are at work or school when you spot that first flake leave immeshydiately It is helpfu1to clog Kingston Pike Cucumberland A venue and the interstate system with thousands of frightened commuters all at once The glut of traffic keeps the precipitation be it snow or ice from ever reaching the streets surface
5 Feel free to sled and frolic onyour neighborhood streets This will keep you from getting out in your car and sliding over anYsmall children~who might be sledding on your neighborshyhood streets You probably wont get hurt
Now that weve established a few precautions lets discuss how to best enjoy this weather Here are a few suggestions to cure that cabin fever
1 Watch MTV until your eyes glaze over The minute-by-minute intellecshytual challenges of music videos will provide you with hours of thrills and
chills 2 Do not read anything This is
imperative You already have to do enough reading as it is so dont let this pollutant leak into your recreashytional space
3 Urinate your middot name in a snowshybank (This is especially entertaining for females)
4 Indulge yourself in otherwise decadent luxury Take a bubble bath for two days or until the snow melts--- whichever comes first Stuff yourself on chocolate raisins and lisshyten to Windham Hill until you beshycome comatose
5 Teach yourself to armpit-fart Let It Snow Lust after Vanna White and Pat Sajak while giving yourself a pedicure Fake a British accent while ordering a pizza
Well I could go on with these entershytaining suggestions all day but youve got the basic idea In essence a snowstorm can be compared to sexshyas long as youre prepared you can
stop worrying and enjoy yourself
On September 13 1 ~86i Sherman Smith died of boredom
in his neighborhood Laundromat ) -
Too bad he didnt know about middot Harvey Washbangers the Laundromat and
Pub where the fun never stops
Open 9AM to 12 Midnight 7 days a week Free Dryers M-F 9AM to 12 Noon ~~
1 Alt
LAUNDROMAT
e -
2114 Cumberland Ave Ort the Strip
Dry U51
Service A
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The Lame Manifesto 4 1988 Page 12
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Page 5 41988 The Lame Manifesto
Number right of instructors name is the total numbered surveyed Next over Is the Instructors Grade point Average far right is GPAs icon Next + is better - is worse and NC is steady compared to last quarters GPA Bullets ( ) designate instructors not confirmed as teaching listed class 0-75 76-15
D 16-25 26-35 36-lt10
3050
3060
3080
3090
3100
3110
Koch 200 Too much homework tests difficult Basic Field Theory Neff 5 300 +10Jif lusts ulncs doesnt teach Knows the material but doesnt teach it well Reads his own book but will help if interested Too easy Tillman 1 000 Didnt learn anything Propagation Tillman 2 125 Poor lecturer removed from reality not very relevant to this universe Power Patton 2 050 Expects too much for an intro class teaches like it is a grad class Teacher lacks ability to communishycate what he knows Rude to students who challenge his understanding Power Bailey l 300 +20Jif Very reJaxed style Symonds 2 350 Like having class with Monty Python Random Signals Hoffman 3 033 -32 pound Bad instructor horrible book Nice guy but worthl~ss as an instructor Circuits and Fields Googe 1 - 400 Abidi 3 300 Fair but incredibly abrasive
3120 Electronics
3180
3190
Waller 4 250 Mr Microphone One wordshyBoring Logic Design McCullough 2 250 +05 6p Needs to slow lecture down -Plasmal Alexeff 3 367 Makes learning fun Roth 4 100
+07 I
Doesnt care about students understanding only about getting thru the syllabus Only he uh knows uh what the uh hell he is uh talking about
3720 Linear Systems Anal Neff 2 350 Excellant in every category
3810 Electronics I Mukund 2 Blalock 2
400 200
NC
Assumes you take 3 hrs a quarter 3820 Electronics IT
Pierce 400 +30 I Learned things apply to real world
3830 Electronics ill Rochelle 5 380 -02 ~ Excellent teacher Workable projects Learned a lot Better than Pierce
4470 MHD
4600
4630
Akxeff 2 300 He enjoys teaching Cool guy too much vector analysis Analog Signal Processing Blaylock 2 200 Great teacher but digresses endlessly Compo Syst Org Bodenheimr 4 350 ~tiI Very usefur info GREAT instrucshytor Tough but applicable projects
4700 Digital Integrated Electronics Blalock 1 400 Interesting material good book
4740 Integrated Circuits KeJlI)edy 1 400 +20 II
4850 Small Computer Systems Bishop 1 200 If youre a computer jock you probably know more than Bishop
ENGLISH 1010 Eng Comp
Datzmiddot 000 9 - doesnt know material treats us like 3id graders Rohloftmiddot 1 - 400 One of the best Anderson 1 400 + 10 I Very off-the-wall but lots of fun Culberson 2 350 ~ EBest Ive ever had She made me like English Cullettemiddot 400 Fun as hell butkinda weird I) Davis 1 100 Demastes 2 325 -08 Jif Funny fair Boring fairly easy Duvall 1 100 (I Its not just the instructor the class itinerary sucks monkey turds Eckhardt 1 400 I Great dresser Elvis Costello fan interesting topics Fogelman 1 300 Haney 200 Doesnt teach English Babbles about works she has read Hardwig 1 300 The woman is nuts Lomanginomiddot 1 300 Fun in class but killer grading McKinstymiddot 1 400 I Extremely good bull Pigg 1 000 NC pound Knowledgable but obnoxious Stone 2 400 I Lee 1 200 ~ Good but too emotional Slagle 1 300 She gets better as the quarter goes on
1018 Honors English Comp
1020
1031
1032
1033
Lewis 1 300 Shes not big on deadlines Stillman 1 200 6p Knowledgeable but intolerant Ki~s his ass and youll do fine Zomchick 1 300 Very intelligent but opinionated English Comp Carroll 1 350 Learned a lot Thinks he is Shakespeare Elkin 1 Irwin 1
400 400
Class never moved that nice before Powell 400
I I
Is aware of students presence and talks to them personally Swainmiddot 1 350 Comes from the hippie generation(Cool teacher) English COinp Farriermiddot 1 100 English Comp Sprague 1 250 A f bitmiddot who ogles guys Tech Writing Blankenship 1 370 Fair and friendly
V Brentano 1 Ball 1
200 -20 6p
400 I Useful infonnative Little to no BS assignments
1038 _ Honors English Comp Zomchick 1 400 Lively thoughtcprovoking
- discussions and my writing actually improved
1451 Eng Comp Williamsonmiddot 1 400 II Fantastic teacher Only class Ive had at UT where I felt no pressure
2510 English Masterpieces -poundif 1rJl
2520
2531
2660
Clark 1 300 Eckhart 400
Simpson 1 middot 400 II Fantastic I really liked this class Tschantz 1 2006p English Masterpieces Lafaro 1 000 pound Arner Masterpieces Bullard 1 350 Boring but pretty good Intro to Drama Carol 1 370
2680 Intro to Novels HlIITllriontree 2 200
One person forum Perverted readings intense lectures lotsa work
3110 Fluid Mech BakerAI 29 362 Highly recommended Fair tests Gets excited about water Best dressed Engr prof on campus Strict about homework Lots of learning Forrester 000 Did not present material clearly
3311 Mechanics of Materials Brooks 3 067 Duhhhhh Hes a geek Presentashytion of material is so bad Hodgson 100 -Doesnt teach anything Landes 4 350 Great Helpful Patient Were having a pizza party Mathews 3 000 -10 Good for sleePing Pih 6 000 NC Ahole to an extreme Likes to give Fs Bad attitude Wasserman i 400
3320 Mechanics of Materials Mathews 2 middot 150 When youre roommate only goes to class twice and gets an A and you go all quarter and get aD its bad
Time flies Penner 200
6p 3410 Intro Biomed Engr Wasserman 5 320
Knows material but too infatuated with own opinion
2690 Intro to Film Studies Holtzclaw 2 200 -20 6p Class is too difficult for 2000 level I wish I didnt have to take it Maland 2 350 Interesting and interested
3042 Colloq in Literature Heffernan 1 400 Instructor managed to blend English history and philosophy into one extraordinary class
Likes to break legs Best Ive ever had
3700 Dynamics Forrester 1 300 Concerned about basics Kim 2 200 -20 LSllgt Not easy but fair Soliman 2 400 Best teacher I have ever had at UT
4710 Vibration BrQoks 4 225 qzgt
3045 _ Intro to Literary Criticism Dunn 1 200 6p 4810
No way to talk to him outside class doesnt teach middothell Engr Anal Wasserman Rather abstract 400
I FINANCE 3120 Business Finance
3435 Film and Arner Culture Maland 1 400
3840 Adv Writing Lewis
3850 Persuasive Writing 300
Bensel-Mey 1 300 Knows her stuff course structure great
4020 Shakespeare
4140
4651
Carroll
Dynamic teacher Adv Tech Writing Riley 1 SamSon Southern Lit
400
400 300
Ensor 2 350
NC
ENVIRONMENT ENGINEERING 3120 Hydraulics
Fredrick 1 400 3330 Elem Hydrology
Frederick 1 300 4030 Envr Engr Chem
- Robinson 1 400
ESM 2720 Dynamics
Pih 3 000 Dr Pih is a ridiculous excuse for a teacher Remenjik 1 000 Has zero insight into students perspective Absolutely cannot communicate
3130
3510
Newman 2 400 Takes the students into considera-tion and teaches them what is important Shao 200 Says clearly too much Bus Finance Trimble 300 Moody Clayton 000 Bring crossword puzzle to class For such an interesting subject he makes it extremely dull Boehmmiddot 1 200 Laid back but boring as hell
Zagagi R 2 000 He doesnt speak English and he doesnt know what the hell he is doing An easy course made difficult US Finan System Newman 3 400 Really cares about students Vines 1 300 -10 Tests can be a bitch Black 1 100 If you want to leam and fail this class is for you
ContinUed Next Page
I
1
The Lame
4110 Investment Anal Hogan 1 400 Hilarious This guys a riot
4840 Real Estate Investment Goolsby 1 300 30 Easy but he put me to sleep
FORESTRY 1620 Intro to Forr
Hay 350 FRENCH -1110
2110
ElemFrench Rabo 1 100 Expects perfection frrst day Intermed French Curry 4 325 Helps a lot Tries hard very boring Genuiriely interested in tellching Hottel 400 Interesting fun class Petrovska 1 000
II
JiI
JiI
You must speak perfect French one mistake = F Striblingmiddot 400 Great sense of humor
2120 Intermed French Petrovska 1 000 Slavic bit who kicked Satan out
1 of Hell
2910 F~nch Lit with Eng Trans WIllace 1 350
GEOGRAPHY 1610 Intro to Geography
Jumper 2 250 Fair but Spe~ too softly
1620 Intro to Geography - Rehder 3 367
Fridays are Hawaiian days Keeps theclass awake with lots of humQr
Used hundreds of slides I felt like Id beeIlaround the world Geo of Nat Envir Hom 3 233 Enthusiastic interesting has high expectations of students Waste of time going to lectures youll fall asleep
2130 Economic Geography
3530
3940
4740
5150
Bell 5 140 filird to take notes Boring mtmdane Covers material too
fast Ralston _ 1 400 +07 D All around gOod guy Land-Surface System and Man Harden 1 400 IilP Interesting and informative leCturer Geo of the Appalachia Brinkman 1 200 No textbook all reserve reading Interesting but tough class Remote Sensing Rehder 2 350 Rehders cool lots of slides Good guy
Intro Geog Research 9 AikenFores 2 050 -Makes Gulag look like Club Med more bullshit than a feedlot A terror
GEOLOGY 1010 Gen Geology
Kopp 1 100 Tries to trick students Dick-
head
Misra 3 267 liI Miller 2 400 NC II Does not tmdeistand grading Great lady Opened my eyes to the process Not bad Has rouble way the world and society really speaking English operate
Williams 2 200 ~ 1610 World Civ The good thing about this class is Farris 300 JlI that Life is short and this cl~s makes Cant afford to miss the lectures
Page 6
LINGUISTICS 2000 Lang Lingsts and Society
Dumas l 400 MANAGEMENT
fgt 3010 Principles of Management
Reed 2 150 Cranky old man Great speaking voice stated info clearly iKeem so long 2015 Hist Issues
Gen Geology pound Farr 1 400 1030 Prod Manageme)1t Noon 1 400
IrP 3110
Broadhead 1 000 2510 History of US I J9 Snotty arrogant afld non-caring Finger 2 350 _ Geo of N atl Parks Keeps you on your toes but I do Clark 1 400 II feel I learned something Every student should hear this Wheeler 1 400 teaching phenomenon 3140 English History Geol fgr Engineers At7 Pickney 2 350 Byerly 3 200 - - Take the class if you have the Good lab wasted lecture too boring interest
2410
for a 750 About as exciting as a 3150 England
rock Pickney 1 300 4550 Optical Minearalogy Really knows and enjoys teaching
Clark 1 400 I 3160 England 1832- Present
GERMAN Bohstedt 1 300 -10 JiI 1110 Elem Germ Realiy knows his stuff
00 9 H Harris 1 O - 3470 Russian Story Hodges 1 400 IiJ Chmielewsk 2 000 pound
2110 Intermed Germ Prof belittles students tests were Cather 1 4 Q9 I horrible students have no chance of Really wants to help passing
2120 Intermed German 00 A 3650 Civil W iJr and Rl eco~ 00 I
Hard but good Really cute Makund 1 000 pound ZuzzL
MANAGEMENT SCIENCE 2110 Decision Models
Stmdaro 1 000 Ho 200 Out in Twilight Zone
MARKETING 3110 Intro to Marketing
3120
Fine 1 300 Explains well Clemons 1 000 Eliminate Scott Clemons Marketing ~gt McMillan 2 150
9 -Rough but a great curve ~Boring rud~ Peters 4 200
Lauckner 1 1 1 Muldowny
Strange woman hard as hell Tough tests but he knows his stuff 3310 311 0 Intro to German Lit and lectures well
Bats eyes too much Lectures do not pertain to tests She knows her subject and appreciates her students Marketing Channels
Osbornemiddot 1 400 Jrjl 3931 US Hist WW II to Presellt J
Instructor is ~ery interested in his Johnson I 300 -05 El
sub]ectand siudents Enjoys teaching and material GRAPIDCS 4370 US Military History - 1410 EngrGraphicsI Johnson middot 1 400 NC II
Foster l 350 Jjf HUMAN ECOLOGy Teacher moved slowly and 1510 Human Dev
expl~ed ~swell lit Howell 1 30fJ Lyday 1 400 ItJ HUMAN SERVICES Cool guy Knows middotms shit Tries to 2n90 Inlro to Human Serv
- make EstabrookUaJl le~s ofa hole Knonick 1 400 NC 1 I-IEAL 11I had some really good stOri~ to 3510 Schooi Community Health ltgt relatihis topics
Aghamemiddot 1 000 - INDUSTRIAL ENGINEERING Thinks the overhead projector is the 3600 Motion and Time studies latest innovation in education Doulet 1 400
mSTORY 4150 Proj CompCPM andPert 1510 Western Civ I Kirby 1 100
Bing 2 100 + 10 ) 4520 Engineering Economy JfI lncoherent lectures butBing Ford 1 300
expectsmiddot very coherent fmal and mid- Doulet 3 367 ()3 Ji term anSwers ~ts of real life examples Farr 400 D ITALIAN The dude is in~ 9 1110 Elem Ita Haas 1 000 NC - Maria 1 300 Hitler-in-training A boy from Average cares about progress
brazil Pavlicelli 1 400 I McDonald 1 400 NC II Shes beautiful What a guy Fun knows things JAPANESE Pickney 5 350 JfI 2631 Elem Jap Fairest of all gives extra credit Ericson 1 400 Fuck Haas Bingmiddot Wry humor Interesting easy tesK makes a dull subject interesting JOURNALISM Brummett 2 300 Jjf 2215 Basic News Writing Get ready to read your ass off Caudill 1 000
1518 Honors Western Civ I Hufford 400
Shepherd 2 250 -05 ~ OK but Thinks hes groovy
3410 Buyer Behavior ~ Speck 1 400
Teughtests but great lectures 3510 Muketing Research
Faulds 1 100 -10 (gt 4140 Sales ForCe MlIJ)llgementmiddot
G~al 1 300 NC ~ Toomuch readirig
4610 Marlcet Opp Anal Rentz 1 300
MATERIALS SCIENCE 2030 Process Prinep and Materials
SPruiell 1 200 Defmition freak
211 0 Engr Materials I Becker 5 000 Takes out frustrations on students teaches way over sophomores head No one deserves this Loses you inlecture in 2 seconds
Doesnt give a shit about students Jumps all over you if you ask a question Talks in circles makes class too hard Benson 1 000
Arrogant SOB
Buchanan 1 400 Made the best of an average class
Fair grades and very tmderstandshy able
3130 Engr Materials ill Ashbee 1 000 -07 pound Borie 3 333 +03 poundif Hes cool as hell Fair tests and grades
Trainer 3 100 -03 ) Good and the TA is cute Hateful snobby high and mighty 3720 Adv Pub Relati~ 9 1140 Basic Math Couldnt care less about studentS Wolfe 1 000 _ Borthwick 1 O()()
MAW
Teacher was egotistical tmfair Slave driver Would have fit in well ~Bi~ prejudiced totally unprofes-pompous and boring in a Nazi camp
1520 Western Civ II lfi 4410 Mass Media and Society 1150 Bohstedt 2 400 lA Singletary 1 100 ) Very interested professional Worst excuse for a teacher Ive ever learned people seen
sional StatisJicll Reason Smith lC 1 000 I would not wish this heathen on my worst enemy
I I I
January 4 1988
Number right of instructors name is the total numbered suNeyed Next over is the Instructors Grade point Average far right is GPAs Icon Negt9 + is better - is worse ond NC is steady compared to last quarters GPA Bullets ( ) designate Instructors not confirmed as teaching listed class 0-7570-15
2840 Multivariable Calculus Anderson 1 400
1540 College Algebra Anderson 3 237 Dont need to go to lecture I would give him an F but I got a few good naps out of it
Dassioso 1 000 pound He speaks Greek and skips around on derivations
100 +10 ~ Harris 1 Harrington 1 300 JS Easy course teacher works Doesnt realize students are there anything_ Kuo - 1300 19 Smith 1 190 SIa Boring but a great class for
1550 Intro to Calculus working cross-word puzzleseasy
Brown 1 200 qz tests ~ Crump 1 400 Ii) Moziao 1 100 Gross 1 200 qz Travis 2 050 pound Yuck Confusing lectures Gives tests that Matthews 2 250 ~ require reading the entire book
Very hard to understand when he 2850 Multivariable Calculus shows up Alquiza 1 100 ~ Rowo 1 000 pound Very poor teacher Biased against
He teaches like an ostrich flies hes select students supposed to but he just doesnt get Anderson - 1 300 JjI around to it Great teacher but tests are rough
1560 Intro to Calculus Dydak 1 300 -10 ~ Caruth 1 380 trnJ El-Duma 1 000 pound Dosso 1 000 pound Retnam 1 100 ~ Row 1 000 2 Very hard to understand Never
1700 Pre-calculus changes clothes Coffee 1 200 qz Schippo 1 100 Mr Monotone bring a stiff drink or 2860 Multivariable Calculus a cup of coffee Alexiades 3 233 Dobbs 2 150 ~ ~ Decent teacher but you have to Doemt know how to explain work to get him interested No
anything moves too fast Great sYlabus No practicalc-applicatioris
sense of humor Alquiza 1 too ~ 1840 Single Variable Calculus Great teacher lousy tests
Coffee J O OOl~ i pound Bales - 1000middot pound Doemt like to teach 6 out of 50 Prof was abolrt as iRteresting and passed class persC1lable as a dead fish Taught out Daverman 2 150 ~ _ of thebOok~ Subject was stupid
Acts like an ex -chuggie hav ing numbeT tricks middotDTs middot Dalnis 3 Hintonlt 1 400 Ft McConnell 1
jjI 267 r
Q9O -33 ( ~
N~lte guy explains it very well Keller- middot l 100 ~ Huh The instrU~tor is a boring
wimpy monotonous dweeb Morris 1 400 tl) Made math a great experience PrestOno 1 400 trIl Sense of humor gets material across very well Extremely professional Stephenson 1 300 JjI Explains well goes slowly Wade 2 400 liiI Great professor He made the class interesting and understandable Zoran 1 400 D Funny He wore the samepants all quarter
Presentation of material was very
pOor 3155 Intro to Nwn Algor
Sonio 1 000 3310 Adv EuclideanGepm
Mulay 1200 3550 InteIDlediate Anal
Som R 1 000 Dr Soni is a total idiot
pound 3560middot middotIntermediate An~
Soni R 1 000
pound 4050 Matrix Algebra Appl McConnel 4 075 Incoherent Never let the class out on time Too strict in graiing Unwilling to answer questions or do examples
4250 - Intr Complex Anal Stepheson - 1 200
1841 Calculus for Biology Majors
1850
1860
2110
Kot 1 300 Good but gets sidetracked Single Variable Calculus Alquiza 1 200 Mulayo 000 Smith 100 Hes weird Single Variable Calculus Boriango 2 400 Great teacher learned a lot My God shes fair
Too much outside work required 4610 DiffEq
Simpson H 2 400 II Dassios had me sO messed up I couldnt do squat Now it all makes sense Great teacher but needs to work on his posture~
MEC~CALENGThffiERmG 3311 Engr Thermo
Amin 1 000 pound The wors~cher Impossible to McKinnyo l 400 tl)
~ 2 250 ~ - -S~tftmiddot t - ttOO ~- pound Arrogant son-of-a-bitA who did not
J~-tnOf~k questions -Hodgson 2 250 1 qz
know the material He encouraged everyone to drop hiS class Structure of Number System Stevens I 350
Not too willing to help students one-on one TestS are too hard
3330 ~grThenno Nguyen 2 150 -15 ~ Nice guy bad teacher
3520 Thermal Sciences Kektar 5 180 qzgt Decent Lame and hopeless
3530 Thermal Sciences Arnin 1 300 Jjf
3540 Heat Transfer bull Keyhani 3 233 qz Good instructor too arrogant
3620 Dynamics Becker 1 200 qz
3630 Mechanics of Machinery Holland 1 400 Ii) Excellant lots of stories
4511 Systems Smith 1 400 D A good guy
4670 Machine Elements Holland 1 100 ~ Always off on a tangent You have
middotto teach yourself grades easy
MICROBIOLOGY 2910 Gen Microbio
McMahOn 1 200 qz Never there- out making babies
4270 Immunology Wust ~ 2 100 ~ Lost In Space If he talked any faster hed explode Its not if the ans~er is right or wrong its if he likes it
MILITARY SCIENCE 1110 Fund Military Org
Benton 1 350 -05 A Hamilton Martin
1 350 -05 JiI 1 400 81
A great American hero 2110 Leadershlp Development
Ro~ 1 400 Etassroom of raw unbridled
bored
il l
tol R
middot JAME~middot 0 ~~C~(N
~Cgt
Buy 5pound- Lmiddot
rRAUpoundt-Ps (IiSSCrrf5middot cos
EHIND WAtCrRE N
The Lame nnII L Manifesto
llnP 16-25 26-35 3 1)middot40
MUSIC 1000 Fund Music Thoory
Hawthorne 1 200 ~ Good instructor very fair on testing a lotto be learned about music clt
1210 Music Appreciation Sadie 1 300 It Trevor l 300NC Jt Is never there
1230 History of Rock amp Roll Young 7 343 lll Great prof -rough tests Greit class Hes on drugs and on the rag Weird and w~ird TA
3652 Campus Band Sparks 2 150 -05 (gt Jerk Two-faced tells bad jokes Music choice is good tho
3657 Marching Band Julian 1 000 pound Not a human being
3950 Evolution ofJ~ Coker 1 400 l1fll Great sax player good jokes
NUTRITION 1010 Food Principles
Costello 1 400 NC D Great course great teacher
2210 Intro Trns Fd -Lodg Adinin Jones 1 loPO S
3210 Food Service Sys Mmg I~ Sneed l 200
PHYSICAL EDUCA nON 2707 El~entary Badmitoh
Trappmann 1 200 Crazy middotNazi
~
f
oPt A rf~R
NOON
---
~
~-
The Lame Monkey Manifesto
2772 Intenned Swimming Zhu 1 100
2781 Elem Tennis
3610 Electronics Elston SB 1 300 Two hour lectures zzzzzzz
Curtis 2 225 qz PLANT AND SOn SCIENCE She flirts with all the guys Doesnt help at all during class Schoonmak~ 1 300 m
2782 Intenned Tennis Penna 1 350 A
PHllOSOPHY 1510 Intro Philosophy
+20 qz ~
15 qz
Brenkert 1 200 Green l 300 Hamlin 2 250 Strange fonnat for class Hilliardmiddot 1 400 Interesting as a person teacher and friend Postow 1 100 Cure for insomnia
1511 Human Conditions Van deVate 1 300 -10 JjI Challenging but reasonable
1810 Intro-Symbolic Logic
2510
Grunfeldmiddot 1 000 Its gibberish I cant see the reasoning for taking this ElemLogic Grunfeld 4 325 Pair tests confusing lectures Roddymiddot l 100
2130 Soils Graveel 1 400 NC Jl)
POLITICAL SCIENCE 2020 Intro to Peli Sci
Allende 1 200 Hard to understand
2510 US Govt and Politics Robinson 1 200 NC qz Subject could be interesting but class time is not Scheb 1 200 Dull really knows how to kill a subject
2518 Honors US Govt Poli
2520
3130
Ungs 1 300 Good discussions sometimes too dry New Deal liberal but faiT US Govt and Politics Gant 1 400 +40 Jl) Very entertaining and inspiring made a dull subject fun Plaas 1 300 A Simonesmiddot 400 Jl) Dynamic lecturer Fun exciting stimulating motivating Pop Culture and Amer Politics Fittgerald 2 400 NC Jl) Exhibits the true defInition of what
3111 Boring never comes to class Ancient West Philo Van de Vate 1 400 Brilliant challenging teacher Ethics aand Society
a professor should be pound 3390 Coritemp Issues
PittgeraldIR 9 400 +03 Iib 3440
Postowmiddot 1 200 qz OK lecturer but he is confusing or confused
PHYSICS 1210 Intro Physics
Nielsen 4 075 -13 pound
2210
Its like being buried in an anthill then dipped in turpentine and set ablaze Lectures pointless This is a fucking intro course Loses approx 50 of all work turned in Still uses a slide rule Elements of Physics Childers 3 133 Boring and disorganiz~d
2310 Fund Physics Childers 1 100
2318
2320
2330
3110
Memorize everything including all equations Stelson 4 175 Cannot teach Easy tests Thompson 6 133 Brilliant physicist but a pitiful instructor To this day (5 days before fmals) 1 have no idea what the man is talking about Honors Fund Physics Riedinger 1 400 +20 Iib Fund Physics Calcott 200 +03 qz Decent lecturer but dont ask him a
question King 4 400 Jl) Better than anyone else teaching the course Elem of Physics Handler 3 333 ~ Good teaCher good partial credit Mechanics Shih 1 200 qz The bOok was better
3545
3546
This is not a class this is an emotional expierence ReaIly into material gives kick-ass lectures Constitutional Law Series SchebSteph 2 400 NC Jl) Good lectures fair tests Constitutional Law Series StephenS 1 200 Nice man pathetic format
3605 Pol Chan in Dev Areas
3631
3712
4410
Dodd 1 400 Likes the subject Gov and Pol of Sov Union Piennan 1 300 Grades much too tough US For Pol Processes Peterson 1 400 Good teacher good subject Law and Admin Pro Ungs 1 400 Interesting issues
4665 Public Policy Smith 2 350 Intelligent man difficult class new perspectivesAs conservative as Hell
PORTUGESE 1510 Elem Portugese
Rodiiguez 1 400 i1l The best teacher to teach Portu-guese to a bunch of sloppy disinter-ested students
1520 Elem Portugese Julian 3 367 Jl) Boa tarde Simply the best She cares about her students
PSYCHOLOGY 2500 Gen Psych
Henley 3 400 + 10 ~ Interesting approach brings it down to a personal ievel Phillipeamiddot 1 350 lB
~- -- ---- -~ - - -- ---- - -- --- -- ~ -- -
January 4 1988
2518 Honors Gen Psych Calhoun 1 400 I Small individualized class he makes it fun with jokes and stories
2520 Bio Poundation of Behavior Shrader 1 350 JiI VanCleave 2 400 NC Jl) Made the class more than just facts
2530 Psych as a Social Science VanCleave 2 3 85 Jl)
2540 Psych of Indiv Smith M 1 400 Jl) Take during the mini-tenn(with the football team) Anything Smith teaches is an middotA
3120 SQcialPsych Eissenberg 300 ~tif Good instructor but needs voice training
3150 Psych Statistics Handel 1 300 J)f Good teacher but his tests arent always overwhat he ~ught Smith M 2 400 NC ~ Good teacher and the fmal was a take-home
3210 Learning and Thinking middotMalone 1 400 NC Jl) Pollio 1 400 Jl]l Good class if youre going to make a career of going to school Smith M 4 325 J9 I think hes on LSD Very interesting kept my attention
3550 Child Psych Wahler 400 ~
3650
4230
Abnonnal Psych Wiberly 1 000 pound Prof was good but text book and subject matter offensive Sensory Proc amp Percep A Handel 2 150
When couldnt explain dropped into mathematical analogies Tests over what he wishes he could teach
4510 Personality Theories McIntyre 1 200 qz Extreme feminist strange person
4830 Hist and Sys of Psych Malone 2 300 ~m Intense lectures sinful tests
RECREATION 3100 Recre Leadership Proc
Cox 1 000 pound Lectures out of-book word for word
RELIGIOUS STUDIES 2120 Pounders in Religion
Linge 1 300 J9 Good speaker learned a lot
3021 Relig Myths Symbls and Rit Lusby 2 400 I Interesting and thought provoking Im in love with his mind
3311 Images of Jesus Dungan 1 400 Jl) P ascinating
3370 Intro to Christianity Linge 2 150 ) Disorganized all info for exams not discussed in class
7w WI ~ tu6 _j ~ t yu ~t ~ ~~ ~ tupound~ ~iIf Y~~~~tCOUtl
[jjj [JlJ 0 WI [f ~ ampJ 0 [p)71DmrflofJi) l ~9tA Y~ 38ru4u1 ~ 38e11 ~~IF~~it
January 4 1988 The Lame Monkey Manifesto
Number right of instructors name Is the jotal numbered surveyed Next over is the Instructors Grade point Average far right is GPAs Icon Next + is better - is worse and NC is steady compared to last quarters GPA II Bullets ( ) designate I~tructors not confirmed as teaching listed class
SOCIOLOGY 1510 Gen Sociology
Jacobson 2 250 Hes libral with a little common sense He sometimes calls off class Bidwell 1 400 I Fun easy tests not very hard just sit and listen Coleman - 1 400 NC Jrnl He lives for Sociology
- Harris 1 200 +10 ~ Teaching by television do~nt work
Heflin 1 400 1 Magnifico McKeeby 1 050 -25 pound Embarasses the hell out of you in -class if youre wrong Navarromiddot 1 400 Very complete
3110 Aspects of Spanish Lit Cobb 1 200 The manners of a goat
SPECIAL ED 5320 Manual Comm m
Barnesmiddot 1 400 DP Hubbardmiddot 1- 300
1520
3510
Wears sarne sweatshirt every day Perrin 2 200 ~ Teaches like a grad course Social Probs Dunaway 2 000 Q - should be killed Lies to students Entire number of lectures can be counted on one hand Didnt learn shit Norris Wallace
200 000
poundl6
Q -The teacher was not so ~ad but his TA was unfair and aline talked about was smoking pot and partyshying Juvenile Delinquency Black 1 000 Wanna fall asleep
Q -
Great guy interesting class SPEECH 2311 Public Speaking
I
2351
2361
Robertson 2 375 Took away the pressure of giving speeches Very relaxed atmosphere V~cl 1 100 ~ Interpersonal Commun Ambrester 3 400 NC I Relates to students Doesnt jerk you around like most profs Business and Profes Speaking McDaniels 1 400
4560 Rhet of Worn Rights Movem Cook 1 100 Tries to teach a rhetoric class by telling you the words but not the context in which they were spoken
SPANISH STATISTICS 1110 Elem Spanish 2100 Prob and Stats
Gl 2 400 fifll ennmiddot )l Beal 1 150 Got away with murder and still learned
Doesnt know how to explain
0-75 76middot1 5
Dixon 400 Cares about students Walker 2 400 NC Jrji Great teacher expresses material
well 3110 Regression and Corr Meth
1
3220
3450
Cwiek 1 400 The best in stats Niedart 2 250 ~
Very picky a tough grader on -exams Walker E
tests Sylwester 2 250 Be prepared to do ALL the homework
LoI Lo
THEATRE 2111 Acting
Harris 400 Ii) Great teacher knows his stuff Always in a good mood He gets to know each student personally
2252 Survey of World Dramas I Schmitt 1 400 NC
Ancient drama in modem terms
16-25 26-35 36middot 40
1RANSPORTATION 3115
4415
4720
2980
3990
4200
4720
Intro to Logistics Langley 1 200 -20 5lb
OK hard exams Freight Carrier Operations Patton _ 4 325 -03 4 Fair in coursework and tests 1
Logistic Sys Mgrnnt Sem middot ~ 51b Foggin 1 200
Teaches bare-bones essentiils and tests over his lectures Easy class if youve had Bio 123 Human Anatomy Milastan 1 400 Fair A hunk Zoo Coll6quim
I Greenburg 1 400 Ichthyology
I Etnier 400 Only instructor Ive had that would drink a beer with students Comp Animal Behavior
Bowers 1 400 Excellent instructor GreenburgB 1 300 Greenburgs great burghdts bizarre
WIN A DATE WITH JOHNNY MAJORSmiddot Oh What a Hunk Its NOT TOO LATE to win
A God in his own time Unbelieveable but yes The Lame Monkey Manifesto is giving one lUCKY soul an all-expense paid evening with Johnny Majors but only if you enter
You may have the opportunity to gaze deep into his eyes and ponder the meaning of UTK Wine Dinner Dancing A evening of football related conversation Allis possible if you wont tell his wife An enticing proposition all middotfor the low low price of free A stimulating adventure with this prime example of virility~ The season may be over but Johnny is still hot hot hot
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The Lame Monkey Manifesto January 4 1988
Logic Logic Whos Got the Logic Jesus Was a Commie and Darwin Wasnt Talking About Hulk Hogan Doug Collins Lame Monkey Philosophy Reporter
Well now well now it seems weve upset some people God That Good Natured Ole Tyrant has made some people react-not think mind you but read Lets analyze those reshyactions for a minute One writer a very (parenthetical) and (dogmatic) person who signs himself The Prophet has attempted to answer our little riddle Proph babe before you-call these questions shallow and redundant you should do a little reshysearch Saint Augustine and Saint Thomas Aquinas had difficulty with this one and even they lost sight of the problemgetting caught in the same
the buck Throw in omnibenevolence and
you see that God cannot by the nature of omnibenevolence choose evil or allow evil to be chosen If he does then it is not through inability to reconcile free will and an absence of evil for God is able to do anything And there ladies and gents is where you lost sight of the little pea in my previous she~l game article
If God can do anything then He can reconcile paradox The logically impossible is not even difficult pi can equal three cocks will crow at moonshyrise and magic is loose in the world God can be omnipotent omnibenevoshylent and support Alabama if He so chooses because He has the power I cant understand it but then I cant understand nested infinities or 4th dimensional curves either How can He do it Ask him not I
So what do we do now Well we abandon logic and enter the realm of faith I have faith that God does not exists I cant prove it because if He
morass of scripture in which you does exist then all my logical relationshyfound yourself stuck It is impossible ships are merely a fraction of His within the structures of logic to rec- being You can believe what you want oncile an omnipotent omniscient to I am disappointed that no one omnibenevolent deity with the exis- caught the gimmick in my first article tence of evi Once again Ill point out Oh well you were probably too horrishythe fallacy of the free wiil argument fied by the prospect of a Godless uni-
First of all free will is itself incon- verse Speaking of which shall we sistent with omniscience and discuss Lonnie Rapers pathological omnipotence If ~~~~~~- dependence on God knows every- God the Father for thing then he hismoralandethi-knows what I am cal standards about to do and Gently now we has known sinee dont want to he said fiat lux frighten him (God spoke Latin Lon n ie yknow) There- sweetie athe-fore he knows if I ists was the cor-will choose good rect term Secular or evil If God is humanist is a omnipotent then Neo Dexter buzz he can cause me to word for anyone choose good or evil and in fact has who refuses to march in step Godshydone so Lose me on that one Well if less communists goes to far since I can do anything and I choose not to communism is a politico-economic act sntthat the same thing as acting system A system advocated by Jesus Haven-t I knowing the resul ts of inac- by the way at least as far as economics tion by not acting chosen -to those is concerned Jesus was not a results In other words can God pass capitalist
I saw Jesus go by the doorway of my lecture hall this morning He paused momentarily as if to explain Sorry cant stay Im late for My religious studies class
He was wearing a tie-dyed Grateful Dead shirt And carrying an art pad and some Middle Estern Civilization textbooks Iwanted to go running after him and ask him For his phone number just in case I ever got in troubleshyThen I smiled And realized how foolish that would be
Now lets turn to the argument probably more fitto survive the social itself I was willing to go along with environment Like the old story about you until you equated survival of the the bundle-of sticks one stick by itself fittest with might makes middot right can be broken combine the sticksand This is a common f they are stronger perversion of Dar- - Actually -I think win wherein sur- ~ ~ that this is both vival of the fittest lt self-evident and become survlVal of ~ _ ~ an endorsement of
Th ~ ltgt (r the strongest e ~ -~lt ~ __ rt~compassionate so-two are not the I ~ ~~ ~ I cieties If you be-same ~ffY lt -- J _ ~I lieve tha~ a socially
Hulk Hogan ~W ~~ f -5J ~f ~ responSIble SOCI-the man the myth r r r- _ tW~ ety is so unfitthat it the legend able to flrr=-~ ji~ ~ must be propped eat steel bars and r I up by God all you shit nails would 11 if are saying is that pop like a balloon if since God is shoved suddenly I i strongest let His into even a rela- Just Another will prevail That is tively soft vacuum Godless Communist truly might mak-yetthere small weak and timid bacte- ing right You seem unable to accept ria which cope at ease Why Because that the universe may a cold and the bacteria are more fit to survive lonely place but just because you that environment Just so with ethical dont like it dont mean it aint so systems Wrap yourself in illusions Lonnie
If a system based on rights and a but dont pawn them off as reality concern for justice is more popular Some of us dont need God to keep us than a dog-eat-dog anarchy then it is warm at night
~AnnMK Patil Mozingo Contraception Kills
4 1988 The Lame J Manifesto
he Winter Weather Worrywart Checklist Lauralie Morton Lame Monkey Weather Correspondent
Well it seems that we are presently the victims of an excessively precipishytant winter season and it is apparent that we have some amateur worriers out there in the nooks and crannies of readerland Having had the unmitishygated delight of living out twentyshythree wjnters in this burgeoning meshytropolis I consider myself an expert in the field of professional weathershyworry If you follow the directions exactly as presented here I can assure you a successful survival of the terror this winter might bring
1 If ad verse conditions are preshydicted )mmediately rush out to the nearest grocery store and stock up on staples and non-perishables The cruel terrain of East Tenness~e
coupled with ice-covered roads could strand you for weeks on end How horrible to starve to death in your
own home just because you ignored your scout promise to be prepared Tomato soup grilled cheese sandshywich fixings and four kegs of beer are essential to a basic survival kit
2 Do not drive at all from Novemshyber 1st through April 15th If you must drive be sure to pump your brakes when going up hills My sisters husbands cousins doctor once told me that this gives good tracshytion For Gods sake slam on the brakes if you start to slide on snow or ice This will at least ensure your departure from this world in a genushyine blaze of glory
3 Be a good weather-watcher Know the difference between the jet stream and the blood stream Monitor temperature fluctuation~_ at fifteen minute intervals That harmless little raincloud out there could easily metashymorphose into a full-blown blizzard just because the temp drops a degree or two And just imagine your shame at being caught in the unawares
Theres No Place Like Colectors Choice
Theres No Place Like
MOVED TO NEW LOCATION -2104 Cutnbedand bull Next to -Davis-Kidd
GAMES bull COMICS ~ MINIATURES BASEBALL CARDS
_ MOVIE POSTERSmiddot STAR TREK
when all you had to do was call the local times and temperature number four times an hour
4 If you are at work or school when you spot that first flake leave immeshydiately It is helpfu1to clog Kingston Pike Cucumberland A venue and the interstate system with thousands of frightened commuters all at once The glut of traffic keeps the precipitation be it snow or ice from ever reaching the streets surface
5 Feel free to sled and frolic onyour neighborhood streets This will keep you from getting out in your car and sliding over anYsmall children~who might be sledding on your neighborshyhood streets You probably wont get hurt
Now that weve established a few precautions lets discuss how to best enjoy this weather Here are a few suggestions to cure that cabin fever
1 Watch MTV until your eyes glaze over The minute-by-minute intellecshytual challenges of music videos will provide you with hours of thrills and
chills 2 Do not read anything This is
imperative You already have to do enough reading as it is so dont let this pollutant leak into your recreashytional space
3 Urinate your middot name in a snowshybank (This is especially entertaining for females)
4 Indulge yourself in otherwise decadent luxury Take a bubble bath for two days or until the snow melts--- whichever comes first Stuff yourself on chocolate raisins and lisshyten to Windham Hill until you beshycome comatose
5 Teach yourself to armpit-fart Let It Snow Lust after Vanna White and Pat Sajak while giving yourself a pedicure Fake a British accent while ordering a pizza
Well I could go on with these entershytaining suggestions all day but youve got the basic idea In essence a snowstorm can be compared to sexshyas long as youre prepared you can
stop worrying and enjoy yourself
On September 13 1 ~86i Sherman Smith died of boredom
in his neighborhood Laundromat ) -
Too bad he didnt know about middot Harvey Washbangers the Laundromat and
Pub where the fun never stops
Open 9AM to 12 Midnight 7 days a week Free Dryers M-F 9AM to 12 Noon ~~
1 Alt
LAUNDROMAT
e -
2114 Cumberland Ave Ort the Strip
Dry U51
Service A
t I
t I - I
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The Lame Manifesto 4 1988 Page 12
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EVEN IF YOURE A JERK Universal Printing can make your Resume look as if you had class and taste We specialize in making dweeb-bobs look great 19th Street behind taco hell
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A pinch in her food or drink 8IId get ready lor instlln lovmaking Shea be tuned on fa hour of wild p8S$ion and IOlsoflovin Works so tast you should take some yourself No prescription Extra Sbong and safe to UN Speas fennul works on bot) sexes
STAY HARD (or soft) and CONTROL YOURSELF with BRAIN PRE WASHING~
A simple t8chnique Ihat any can learn in minutes Simply read the Lcnc Monkey oullood and passion is yoors
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The Lame
4110 Investment Anal Hogan 1 400 Hilarious This guys a riot
4840 Real Estate Investment Goolsby 1 300 30 Easy but he put me to sleep
FORESTRY 1620 Intro to Forr
Hay 350 FRENCH -1110
2110
ElemFrench Rabo 1 100 Expects perfection frrst day Intermed French Curry 4 325 Helps a lot Tries hard very boring Genuiriely interested in tellching Hottel 400 Interesting fun class Petrovska 1 000
II
JiI
JiI
You must speak perfect French one mistake = F Striblingmiddot 400 Great sense of humor
2120 Intermed French Petrovska 1 000 Slavic bit who kicked Satan out
1 of Hell
2910 F~nch Lit with Eng Trans WIllace 1 350
GEOGRAPHY 1610 Intro to Geography
Jumper 2 250 Fair but Spe~ too softly
1620 Intro to Geography - Rehder 3 367
Fridays are Hawaiian days Keeps theclass awake with lots of humQr
Used hundreds of slides I felt like Id beeIlaround the world Geo of Nat Envir Hom 3 233 Enthusiastic interesting has high expectations of students Waste of time going to lectures youll fall asleep
2130 Economic Geography
3530
3940
4740
5150
Bell 5 140 filird to take notes Boring mtmdane Covers material too
fast Ralston _ 1 400 +07 D All around gOod guy Land-Surface System and Man Harden 1 400 IilP Interesting and informative leCturer Geo of the Appalachia Brinkman 1 200 No textbook all reserve reading Interesting but tough class Remote Sensing Rehder 2 350 Rehders cool lots of slides Good guy
Intro Geog Research 9 AikenFores 2 050 -Makes Gulag look like Club Med more bullshit than a feedlot A terror
GEOLOGY 1010 Gen Geology
Kopp 1 100 Tries to trick students Dick-
head
Misra 3 267 liI Miller 2 400 NC II Does not tmdeistand grading Great lady Opened my eyes to the process Not bad Has rouble way the world and society really speaking English operate
Williams 2 200 ~ 1610 World Civ The good thing about this class is Farris 300 JlI that Life is short and this cl~s makes Cant afford to miss the lectures
Page 6
LINGUISTICS 2000 Lang Lingsts and Society
Dumas l 400 MANAGEMENT
fgt 3010 Principles of Management
Reed 2 150 Cranky old man Great speaking voice stated info clearly iKeem so long 2015 Hist Issues
Gen Geology pound Farr 1 400 1030 Prod Manageme)1t Noon 1 400
IrP 3110
Broadhead 1 000 2510 History of US I J9 Snotty arrogant afld non-caring Finger 2 350 _ Geo of N atl Parks Keeps you on your toes but I do Clark 1 400 II feel I learned something Every student should hear this Wheeler 1 400 teaching phenomenon 3140 English History Geol fgr Engineers At7 Pickney 2 350 Byerly 3 200 - - Take the class if you have the Good lab wasted lecture too boring interest
2410
for a 750 About as exciting as a 3150 England
rock Pickney 1 300 4550 Optical Minearalogy Really knows and enjoys teaching
Clark 1 400 I 3160 England 1832- Present
GERMAN Bohstedt 1 300 -10 JiI 1110 Elem Germ Realiy knows his stuff
00 9 H Harris 1 O - 3470 Russian Story Hodges 1 400 IiJ Chmielewsk 2 000 pound
2110 Intermed Germ Prof belittles students tests were Cather 1 4 Q9 I horrible students have no chance of Really wants to help passing
2120 Intermed German 00 A 3650 Civil W iJr and Rl eco~ 00 I
Hard but good Really cute Makund 1 000 pound ZuzzL
MANAGEMENT SCIENCE 2110 Decision Models
Stmdaro 1 000 Ho 200 Out in Twilight Zone
MARKETING 3110 Intro to Marketing
3120
Fine 1 300 Explains well Clemons 1 000 Eliminate Scott Clemons Marketing ~gt McMillan 2 150
9 -Rough but a great curve ~Boring rud~ Peters 4 200
Lauckner 1 1 1 Muldowny
Strange woman hard as hell Tough tests but he knows his stuff 3310 311 0 Intro to German Lit and lectures well
Bats eyes too much Lectures do not pertain to tests She knows her subject and appreciates her students Marketing Channels
Osbornemiddot 1 400 Jrjl 3931 US Hist WW II to Presellt J
Instructor is ~ery interested in his Johnson I 300 -05 El
sub]ectand siudents Enjoys teaching and material GRAPIDCS 4370 US Military History - 1410 EngrGraphicsI Johnson middot 1 400 NC II
Foster l 350 Jjf HUMAN ECOLOGy Teacher moved slowly and 1510 Human Dev
expl~ed ~swell lit Howell 1 30fJ Lyday 1 400 ItJ HUMAN SERVICES Cool guy Knows middotms shit Tries to 2n90 Inlro to Human Serv
- make EstabrookUaJl le~s ofa hole Knonick 1 400 NC 1 I-IEAL 11I had some really good stOri~ to 3510 Schooi Community Health ltgt relatihis topics
Aghamemiddot 1 000 - INDUSTRIAL ENGINEERING Thinks the overhead projector is the 3600 Motion and Time studies latest innovation in education Doulet 1 400
mSTORY 4150 Proj CompCPM andPert 1510 Western Civ I Kirby 1 100
Bing 2 100 + 10 ) 4520 Engineering Economy JfI lncoherent lectures butBing Ford 1 300
expectsmiddot very coherent fmal and mid- Doulet 3 367 ()3 Ji term anSwers ~ts of real life examples Farr 400 D ITALIAN The dude is in~ 9 1110 Elem Ita Haas 1 000 NC - Maria 1 300 Hitler-in-training A boy from Average cares about progress
brazil Pavlicelli 1 400 I McDonald 1 400 NC II Shes beautiful What a guy Fun knows things JAPANESE Pickney 5 350 JfI 2631 Elem Jap Fairest of all gives extra credit Ericson 1 400 Fuck Haas Bingmiddot Wry humor Interesting easy tesK makes a dull subject interesting JOURNALISM Brummett 2 300 Jjf 2215 Basic News Writing Get ready to read your ass off Caudill 1 000
1518 Honors Western Civ I Hufford 400
Shepherd 2 250 -05 ~ OK but Thinks hes groovy
3410 Buyer Behavior ~ Speck 1 400
Teughtests but great lectures 3510 Muketing Research
Faulds 1 100 -10 (gt 4140 Sales ForCe MlIJ)llgementmiddot
G~al 1 300 NC ~ Toomuch readirig
4610 Marlcet Opp Anal Rentz 1 300
MATERIALS SCIENCE 2030 Process Prinep and Materials
SPruiell 1 200 Defmition freak
211 0 Engr Materials I Becker 5 000 Takes out frustrations on students teaches way over sophomores head No one deserves this Loses you inlecture in 2 seconds
Doesnt give a shit about students Jumps all over you if you ask a question Talks in circles makes class too hard Benson 1 000
Arrogant SOB
Buchanan 1 400 Made the best of an average class
Fair grades and very tmderstandshy able
3130 Engr Materials ill Ashbee 1 000 -07 pound Borie 3 333 +03 poundif Hes cool as hell Fair tests and grades
Trainer 3 100 -03 ) Good and the TA is cute Hateful snobby high and mighty 3720 Adv Pub Relati~ 9 1140 Basic Math Couldnt care less about studentS Wolfe 1 000 _ Borthwick 1 O()()
MAW
Teacher was egotistical tmfair Slave driver Would have fit in well ~Bi~ prejudiced totally unprofes-pompous and boring in a Nazi camp
1520 Western Civ II lfi 4410 Mass Media and Society 1150 Bohstedt 2 400 lA Singletary 1 100 ) Very interested professional Worst excuse for a teacher Ive ever learned people seen
sional StatisJicll Reason Smith lC 1 000 I would not wish this heathen on my worst enemy
I I I
January 4 1988
Number right of instructors name is the total numbered suNeyed Next over is the Instructors Grade point Average far right is GPAs Icon Negt9 + is better - is worse ond NC is steady compared to last quarters GPA Bullets ( ) designate Instructors not confirmed as teaching listed class 0-7570-15
2840 Multivariable Calculus Anderson 1 400
1540 College Algebra Anderson 3 237 Dont need to go to lecture I would give him an F but I got a few good naps out of it
Dassioso 1 000 pound He speaks Greek and skips around on derivations
100 +10 ~ Harris 1 Harrington 1 300 JS Easy course teacher works Doesnt realize students are there anything_ Kuo - 1300 19 Smith 1 190 SIa Boring but a great class for
1550 Intro to Calculus working cross-word puzzleseasy
Brown 1 200 qz tests ~ Crump 1 400 Ii) Moziao 1 100 Gross 1 200 qz Travis 2 050 pound Yuck Confusing lectures Gives tests that Matthews 2 250 ~ require reading the entire book
Very hard to understand when he 2850 Multivariable Calculus shows up Alquiza 1 100 ~ Rowo 1 000 pound Very poor teacher Biased against
He teaches like an ostrich flies hes select students supposed to but he just doesnt get Anderson - 1 300 JjI around to it Great teacher but tests are rough
1560 Intro to Calculus Dydak 1 300 -10 ~ Caruth 1 380 trnJ El-Duma 1 000 pound Dosso 1 000 pound Retnam 1 100 ~ Row 1 000 2 Very hard to understand Never
1700 Pre-calculus changes clothes Coffee 1 200 qz Schippo 1 100 Mr Monotone bring a stiff drink or 2860 Multivariable Calculus a cup of coffee Alexiades 3 233 Dobbs 2 150 ~ ~ Decent teacher but you have to Doemt know how to explain work to get him interested No
anything moves too fast Great sYlabus No practicalc-applicatioris
sense of humor Alquiza 1 too ~ 1840 Single Variable Calculus Great teacher lousy tests
Coffee J O OOl~ i pound Bales - 1000middot pound Doemt like to teach 6 out of 50 Prof was abolrt as iRteresting and passed class persC1lable as a dead fish Taught out Daverman 2 150 ~ _ of thebOok~ Subject was stupid
Acts like an ex -chuggie hav ing numbeT tricks middotDTs middot Dalnis 3 Hintonlt 1 400 Ft McConnell 1
jjI 267 r
Q9O -33 ( ~
N~lte guy explains it very well Keller- middot l 100 ~ Huh The instrU~tor is a boring
wimpy monotonous dweeb Morris 1 400 tl) Made math a great experience PrestOno 1 400 trIl Sense of humor gets material across very well Extremely professional Stephenson 1 300 JjI Explains well goes slowly Wade 2 400 liiI Great professor He made the class interesting and understandable Zoran 1 400 D Funny He wore the samepants all quarter
Presentation of material was very
pOor 3155 Intro to Nwn Algor
Sonio 1 000 3310 Adv EuclideanGepm
Mulay 1200 3550 InteIDlediate Anal
Som R 1 000 Dr Soni is a total idiot
pound 3560middot middotIntermediate An~
Soni R 1 000
pound 4050 Matrix Algebra Appl McConnel 4 075 Incoherent Never let the class out on time Too strict in graiing Unwilling to answer questions or do examples
4250 - Intr Complex Anal Stepheson - 1 200
1841 Calculus for Biology Majors
1850
1860
2110
Kot 1 300 Good but gets sidetracked Single Variable Calculus Alquiza 1 200 Mulayo 000 Smith 100 Hes weird Single Variable Calculus Boriango 2 400 Great teacher learned a lot My God shes fair
Too much outside work required 4610 DiffEq
Simpson H 2 400 II Dassios had me sO messed up I couldnt do squat Now it all makes sense Great teacher but needs to work on his posture~
MEC~CALENGThffiERmG 3311 Engr Thermo
Amin 1 000 pound The wors~cher Impossible to McKinnyo l 400 tl)
~ 2 250 ~ - -S~tftmiddot t - ttOO ~- pound Arrogant son-of-a-bitA who did not
J~-tnOf~k questions -Hodgson 2 250 1 qz
know the material He encouraged everyone to drop hiS class Structure of Number System Stevens I 350
Not too willing to help students one-on one TestS are too hard
3330 ~grThenno Nguyen 2 150 -15 ~ Nice guy bad teacher
3520 Thermal Sciences Kektar 5 180 qzgt Decent Lame and hopeless
3530 Thermal Sciences Arnin 1 300 Jjf
3540 Heat Transfer bull Keyhani 3 233 qz Good instructor too arrogant
3620 Dynamics Becker 1 200 qz
3630 Mechanics of Machinery Holland 1 400 Ii) Excellant lots of stories
4511 Systems Smith 1 400 D A good guy
4670 Machine Elements Holland 1 100 ~ Always off on a tangent You have
middotto teach yourself grades easy
MICROBIOLOGY 2910 Gen Microbio
McMahOn 1 200 qz Never there- out making babies
4270 Immunology Wust ~ 2 100 ~ Lost In Space If he talked any faster hed explode Its not if the ans~er is right or wrong its if he likes it
MILITARY SCIENCE 1110 Fund Military Org
Benton 1 350 -05 A Hamilton Martin
1 350 -05 JiI 1 400 81
A great American hero 2110 Leadershlp Development
Ro~ 1 400 Etassroom of raw unbridled
bored
il l
tol R
middot JAME~middot 0 ~~C~(N
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Buy 5pound- Lmiddot
rRAUpoundt-Ps (IiSSCrrf5middot cos
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The Lame nnII L Manifesto
llnP 16-25 26-35 3 1)middot40
MUSIC 1000 Fund Music Thoory
Hawthorne 1 200 ~ Good instructor very fair on testing a lotto be learned about music clt
1210 Music Appreciation Sadie 1 300 It Trevor l 300NC Jt Is never there
1230 History of Rock amp Roll Young 7 343 lll Great prof -rough tests Greit class Hes on drugs and on the rag Weird and w~ird TA
3652 Campus Band Sparks 2 150 -05 (gt Jerk Two-faced tells bad jokes Music choice is good tho
3657 Marching Band Julian 1 000 pound Not a human being
3950 Evolution ofJ~ Coker 1 400 l1fll Great sax player good jokes
NUTRITION 1010 Food Principles
Costello 1 400 NC D Great course great teacher
2210 Intro Trns Fd -Lodg Adinin Jones 1 loPO S
3210 Food Service Sys Mmg I~ Sneed l 200
PHYSICAL EDUCA nON 2707 El~entary Badmitoh
Trappmann 1 200 Crazy middotNazi
~
f
oPt A rf~R
NOON
---
~
~-
The Lame Monkey Manifesto
2772 Intenned Swimming Zhu 1 100
2781 Elem Tennis
3610 Electronics Elston SB 1 300 Two hour lectures zzzzzzz
Curtis 2 225 qz PLANT AND SOn SCIENCE She flirts with all the guys Doesnt help at all during class Schoonmak~ 1 300 m
2782 Intenned Tennis Penna 1 350 A
PHllOSOPHY 1510 Intro Philosophy
+20 qz ~
15 qz
Brenkert 1 200 Green l 300 Hamlin 2 250 Strange fonnat for class Hilliardmiddot 1 400 Interesting as a person teacher and friend Postow 1 100 Cure for insomnia
1511 Human Conditions Van deVate 1 300 -10 JjI Challenging but reasonable
1810 Intro-Symbolic Logic
2510
Grunfeldmiddot 1 000 Its gibberish I cant see the reasoning for taking this ElemLogic Grunfeld 4 325 Pair tests confusing lectures Roddymiddot l 100
2130 Soils Graveel 1 400 NC Jl)
POLITICAL SCIENCE 2020 Intro to Peli Sci
Allende 1 200 Hard to understand
2510 US Govt and Politics Robinson 1 200 NC qz Subject could be interesting but class time is not Scheb 1 200 Dull really knows how to kill a subject
2518 Honors US Govt Poli
2520
3130
Ungs 1 300 Good discussions sometimes too dry New Deal liberal but faiT US Govt and Politics Gant 1 400 +40 Jl) Very entertaining and inspiring made a dull subject fun Plaas 1 300 A Simonesmiddot 400 Jl) Dynamic lecturer Fun exciting stimulating motivating Pop Culture and Amer Politics Fittgerald 2 400 NC Jl) Exhibits the true defInition of what
3111 Boring never comes to class Ancient West Philo Van de Vate 1 400 Brilliant challenging teacher Ethics aand Society
a professor should be pound 3390 Coritemp Issues
PittgeraldIR 9 400 +03 Iib 3440
Postowmiddot 1 200 qz OK lecturer but he is confusing or confused
PHYSICS 1210 Intro Physics
Nielsen 4 075 -13 pound
2210
Its like being buried in an anthill then dipped in turpentine and set ablaze Lectures pointless This is a fucking intro course Loses approx 50 of all work turned in Still uses a slide rule Elements of Physics Childers 3 133 Boring and disorganiz~d
2310 Fund Physics Childers 1 100
2318
2320
2330
3110
Memorize everything including all equations Stelson 4 175 Cannot teach Easy tests Thompson 6 133 Brilliant physicist but a pitiful instructor To this day (5 days before fmals) 1 have no idea what the man is talking about Honors Fund Physics Riedinger 1 400 +20 Iib Fund Physics Calcott 200 +03 qz Decent lecturer but dont ask him a
question King 4 400 Jl) Better than anyone else teaching the course Elem of Physics Handler 3 333 ~ Good teaCher good partial credit Mechanics Shih 1 200 qz The bOok was better
3545
3546
This is not a class this is an emotional expierence ReaIly into material gives kick-ass lectures Constitutional Law Series SchebSteph 2 400 NC Jl) Good lectures fair tests Constitutional Law Series StephenS 1 200 Nice man pathetic format
3605 Pol Chan in Dev Areas
3631
3712
4410
Dodd 1 400 Likes the subject Gov and Pol of Sov Union Piennan 1 300 Grades much too tough US For Pol Processes Peterson 1 400 Good teacher good subject Law and Admin Pro Ungs 1 400 Interesting issues
4665 Public Policy Smith 2 350 Intelligent man difficult class new perspectivesAs conservative as Hell
PORTUGESE 1510 Elem Portugese
Rodiiguez 1 400 i1l The best teacher to teach Portu-guese to a bunch of sloppy disinter-ested students
1520 Elem Portugese Julian 3 367 Jl) Boa tarde Simply the best She cares about her students
PSYCHOLOGY 2500 Gen Psych
Henley 3 400 + 10 ~ Interesting approach brings it down to a personal ievel Phillipeamiddot 1 350 lB
~- -- ---- -~ - - -- ---- - -- --- -- ~ -- -
January 4 1988
2518 Honors Gen Psych Calhoun 1 400 I Small individualized class he makes it fun with jokes and stories
2520 Bio Poundation of Behavior Shrader 1 350 JiI VanCleave 2 400 NC Jl) Made the class more than just facts
2530 Psych as a Social Science VanCleave 2 3 85 Jl)
2540 Psych of Indiv Smith M 1 400 Jl) Take during the mini-tenn(with the football team) Anything Smith teaches is an middotA
3120 SQcialPsych Eissenberg 300 ~tif Good instructor but needs voice training
3150 Psych Statistics Handel 1 300 J)f Good teacher but his tests arent always overwhat he ~ught Smith M 2 400 NC ~ Good teacher and the fmal was a take-home
3210 Learning and Thinking middotMalone 1 400 NC Jl) Pollio 1 400 Jl]l Good class if youre going to make a career of going to school Smith M 4 325 J9 I think hes on LSD Very interesting kept my attention
3550 Child Psych Wahler 400 ~
3650
4230
Abnonnal Psych Wiberly 1 000 pound Prof was good but text book and subject matter offensive Sensory Proc amp Percep A Handel 2 150
When couldnt explain dropped into mathematical analogies Tests over what he wishes he could teach
4510 Personality Theories McIntyre 1 200 qz Extreme feminist strange person
4830 Hist and Sys of Psych Malone 2 300 ~m Intense lectures sinful tests
RECREATION 3100 Recre Leadership Proc
Cox 1 000 pound Lectures out of-book word for word
RELIGIOUS STUDIES 2120 Pounders in Religion
Linge 1 300 J9 Good speaker learned a lot
3021 Relig Myths Symbls and Rit Lusby 2 400 I Interesting and thought provoking Im in love with his mind
3311 Images of Jesus Dungan 1 400 Jl) P ascinating
3370 Intro to Christianity Linge 2 150 ) Disorganized all info for exams not discussed in class
7w WI ~ tu6 _j ~ t yu ~t ~ ~~ ~ tupound~ ~iIf Y~~~~tCOUtl
[jjj [JlJ 0 WI [f ~ ampJ 0 [p)71DmrflofJi) l ~9tA Y~ 38ru4u1 ~ 38e11 ~~IF~~it
January 4 1988 The Lame Monkey Manifesto
Number right of instructors name Is the jotal numbered surveyed Next over is the Instructors Grade point Average far right is GPAs Icon Next + is better - is worse and NC is steady compared to last quarters GPA II Bullets ( ) designate I~tructors not confirmed as teaching listed class
SOCIOLOGY 1510 Gen Sociology
Jacobson 2 250 Hes libral with a little common sense He sometimes calls off class Bidwell 1 400 I Fun easy tests not very hard just sit and listen Coleman - 1 400 NC Jrnl He lives for Sociology
- Harris 1 200 +10 ~ Teaching by television do~nt work
Heflin 1 400 1 Magnifico McKeeby 1 050 -25 pound Embarasses the hell out of you in -class if youre wrong Navarromiddot 1 400 Very complete
3110 Aspects of Spanish Lit Cobb 1 200 The manners of a goat
SPECIAL ED 5320 Manual Comm m
Barnesmiddot 1 400 DP Hubbardmiddot 1- 300
1520
3510
Wears sarne sweatshirt every day Perrin 2 200 ~ Teaches like a grad course Social Probs Dunaway 2 000 Q - should be killed Lies to students Entire number of lectures can be counted on one hand Didnt learn shit Norris Wallace
200 000
poundl6
Q -The teacher was not so ~ad but his TA was unfair and aline talked about was smoking pot and partyshying Juvenile Delinquency Black 1 000 Wanna fall asleep
Q -
Great guy interesting class SPEECH 2311 Public Speaking
I
2351
2361
Robertson 2 375 Took away the pressure of giving speeches Very relaxed atmosphere V~cl 1 100 ~ Interpersonal Commun Ambrester 3 400 NC I Relates to students Doesnt jerk you around like most profs Business and Profes Speaking McDaniels 1 400
4560 Rhet of Worn Rights Movem Cook 1 100 Tries to teach a rhetoric class by telling you the words but not the context in which they were spoken
SPANISH STATISTICS 1110 Elem Spanish 2100 Prob and Stats
Gl 2 400 fifll ennmiddot )l Beal 1 150 Got away with murder and still learned
Doesnt know how to explain
0-75 76middot1 5
Dixon 400 Cares about students Walker 2 400 NC Jrji Great teacher expresses material
well 3110 Regression and Corr Meth
1
3220
3450
Cwiek 1 400 The best in stats Niedart 2 250 ~
Very picky a tough grader on -exams Walker E
tests Sylwester 2 250 Be prepared to do ALL the homework
LoI Lo
THEATRE 2111 Acting
Harris 400 Ii) Great teacher knows his stuff Always in a good mood He gets to know each student personally
2252 Survey of World Dramas I Schmitt 1 400 NC
Ancient drama in modem terms
16-25 26-35 36middot 40
1RANSPORTATION 3115
4415
4720
2980
3990
4200
4720
Intro to Logistics Langley 1 200 -20 5lb
OK hard exams Freight Carrier Operations Patton _ 4 325 -03 4 Fair in coursework and tests 1
Logistic Sys Mgrnnt Sem middot ~ 51b Foggin 1 200
Teaches bare-bones essentiils and tests over his lectures Easy class if youve had Bio 123 Human Anatomy Milastan 1 400 Fair A hunk Zoo Coll6quim
I Greenburg 1 400 Ichthyology
I Etnier 400 Only instructor Ive had that would drink a beer with students Comp Animal Behavior
Bowers 1 400 Excellent instructor GreenburgB 1 300 Greenburgs great burghdts bizarre
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You may have the opportunity to gaze deep into his eyes and ponder the meaning of UTK Wine Dinner Dancing A evening of football related conversation Allis possible if you wont tell his wife An enticing proposition all middotfor the low low price of free A stimulating adventure with this prime example of virility~ The season may be over but Johnny is still hot hot hot
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The Lame Monkey Manifesto January 4 1988
Logic Logic Whos Got the Logic Jesus Was a Commie and Darwin Wasnt Talking About Hulk Hogan Doug Collins Lame Monkey Philosophy Reporter
Well now well now it seems weve upset some people God That Good Natured Ole Tyrant has made some people react-not think mind you but read Lets analyze those reshyactions for a minute One writer a very (parenthetical) and (dogmatic) person who signs himself The Prophet has attempted to answer our little riddle Proph babe before you-call these questions shallow and redundant you should do a little reshysearch Saint Augustine and Saint Thomas Aquinas had difficulty with this one and even they lost sight of the problemgetting caught in the same
the buck Throw in omnibenevolence and
you see that God cannot by the nature of omnibenevolence choose evil or allow evil to be chosen If he does then it is not through inability to reconcile free will and an absence of evil for God is able to do anything And there ladies and gents is where you lost sight of the little pea in my previous she~l game article
If God can do anything then He can reconcile paradox The logically impossible is not even difficult pi can equal three cocks will crow at moonshyrise and magic is loose in the world God can be omnipotent omnibenevoshylent and support Alabama if He so chooses because He has the power I cant understand it but then I cant understand nested infinities or 4th dimensional curves either How can He do it Ask him not I
So what do we do now Well we abandon logic and enter the realm of faith I have faith that God does not exists I cant prove it because if He
morass of scripture in which you does exist then all my logical relationshyfound yourself stuck It is impossible ships are merely a fraction of His within the structures of logic to rec- being You can believe what you want oncile an omnipotent omniscient to I am disappointed that no one omnibenevolent deity with the exis- caught the gimmick in my first article tence of evi Once again Ill point out Oh well you were probably too horrishythe fallacy of the free wiil argument fied by the prospect of a Godless uni-
First of all free will is itself incon- verse Speaking of which shall we sistent with omniscience and discuss Lonnie Rapers pathological omnipotence If ~~~~~~- dependence on God knows every- God the Father for thing then he hismoralandethi-knows what I am cal standards about to do and Gently now we has known sinee dont want to he said fiat lux frighten him (God spoke Latin Lon n ie yknow) There- sweetie athe-fore he knows if I ists was the cor-will choose good rect term Secular or evil If God is humanist is a omnipotent then Neo Dexter buzz he can cause me to word for anyone choose good or evil and in fact has who refuses to march in step Godshydone so Lose me on that one Well if less communists goes to far since I can do anything and I choose not to communism is a politico-economic act sntthat the same thing as acting system A system advocated by Jesus Haven-t I knowing the resul ts of inac- by the way at least as far as economics tion by not acting chosen -to those is concerned Jesus was not a results In other words can God pass capitalist
I saw Jesus go by the doorway of my lecture hall this morning He paused momentarily as if to explain Sorry cant stay Im late for My religious studies class
He was wearing a tie-dyed Grateful Dead shirt And carrying an art pad and some Middle Estern Civilization textbooks Iwanted to go running after him and ask him For his phone number just in case I ever got in troubleshyThen I smiled And realized how foolish that would be
Now lets turn to the argument probably more fitto survive the social itself I was willing to go along with environment Like the old story about you until you equated survival of the the bundle-of sticks one stick by itself fittest with might makes middot right can be broken combine the sticksand This is a common f they are stronger perversion of Dar- - Actually -I think win wherein sur- ~ ~ that this is both vival of the fittest lt self-evident and become survlVal of ~ _ ~ an endorsement of
Th ~ ltgt (r the strongest e ~ -~lt ~ __ rt~compassionate so-two are not the I ~ ~~ ~ I cieties If you be-same ~ffY lt -- J _ ~I lieve tha~ a socially
Hulk Hogan ~W ~~ f -5J ~f ~ responSIble SOCI-the man the myth r r r- _ tW~ ety is so unfitthat it the legend able to flrr=-~ ji~ ~ must be propped eat steel bars and r I up by God all you shit nails would 11 if are saying is that pop like a balloon if since God is shoved suddenly I i strongest let His into even a rela- Just Another will prevail That is tively soft vacuum Godless Communist truly might mak-yetthere small weak and timid bacte- ing right You seem unable to accept ria which cope at ease Why Because that the universe may a cold and the bacteria are more fit to survive lonely place but just because you that environment Just so with ethical dont like it dont mean it aint so systems Wrap yourself in illusions Lonnie
If a system based on rights and a but dont pawn them off as reality concern for justice is more popular Some of us dont need God to keep us than a dog-eat-dog anarchy then it is warm at night
~AnnMK Patil Mozingo Contraception Kills
4 1988 The Lame J Manifesto
he Winter Weather Worrywart Checklist Lauralie Morton Lame Monkey Weather Correspondent
Well it seems that we are presently the victims of an excessively precipishytant winter season and it is apparent that we have some amateur worriers out there in the nooks and crannies of readerland Having had the unmitishygated delight of living out twentyshythree wjnters in this burgeoning meshytropolis I consider myself an expert in the field of professional weathershyworry If you follow the directions exactly as presented here I can assure you a successful survival of the terror this winter might bring
1 If ad verse conditions are preshydicted )mmediately rush out to the nearest grocery store and stock up on staples and non-perishables The cruel terrain of East Tenness~e
coupled with ice-covered roads could strand you for weeks on end How horrible to starve to death in your
own home just because you ignored your scout promise to be prepared Tomato soup grilled cheese sandshywich fixings and four kegs of beer are essential to a basic survival kit
2 Do not drive at all from Novemshyber 1st through April 15th If you must drive be sure to pump your brakes when going up hills My sisters husbands cousins doctor once told me that this gives good tracshytion For Gods sake slam on the brakes if you start to slide on snow or ice This will at least ensure your departure from this world in a genushyine blaze of glory
3 Be a good weather-watcher Know the difference between the jet stream and the blood stream Monitor temperature fluctuation~_ at fifteen minute intervals That harmless little raincloud out there could easily metashymorphose into a full-blown blizzard just because the temp drops a degree or two And just imagine your shame at being caught in the unawares
Theres No Place Like Colectors Choice
Theres No Place Like
MOVED TO NEW LOCATION -2104 Cutnbedand bull Next to -Davis-Kidd
GAMES bull COMICS ~ MINIATURES BASEBALL CARDS
_ MOVIE POSTERSmiddot STAR TREK
when all you had to do was call the local times and temperature number four times an hour
4 If you are at work or school when you spot that first flake leave immeshydiately It is helpfu1to clog Kingston Pike Cucumberland A venue and the interstate system with thousands of frightened commuters all at once The glut of traffic keeps the precipitation be it snow or ice from ever reaching the streets surface
5 Feel free to sled and frolic onyour neighborhood streets This will keep you from getting out in your car and sliding over anYsmall children~who might be sledding on your neighborshyhood streets You probably wont get hurt
Now that weve established a few precautions lets discuss how to best enjoy this weather Here are a few suggestions to cure that cabin fever
1 Watch MTV until your eyes glaze over The minute-by-minute intellecshytual challenges of music videos will provide you with hours of thrills and
chills 2 Do not read anything This is
imperative You already have to do enough reading as it is so dont let this pollutant leak into your recreashytional space
3 Urinate your middot name in a snowshybank (This is especially entertaining for females)
4 Indulge yourself in otherwise decadent luxury Take a bubble bath for two days or until the snow melts--- whichever comes first Stuff yourself on chocolate raisins and lisshyten to Windham Hill until you beshycome comatose
5 Teach yourself to armpit-fart Let It Snow Lust after Vanna White and Pat Sajak while giving yourself a pedicure Fake a British accent while ordering a pizza
Well I could go on with these entershytaining suggestions all day but youve got the basic idea In essence a snowstorm can be compared to sexshyas long as youre prepared you can
stop worrying and enjoy yourself
On September 13 1 ~86i Sherman Smith died of boredom
in his neighborhood Laundromat ) -
Too bad he didnt know about middot Harvey Washbangers the Laundromat and
Pub where the fun never stops
Open 9AM to 12 Midnight 7 days a week Free Dryers M-F 9AM to 12 Noon ~~
1 Alt
LAUNDROMAT
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Service A
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The Lame Manifesto 4 1988 Page 12
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January 4 1988
Number right of instructors name is the total numbered suNeyed Next over is the Instructors Grade point Average far right is GPAs Icon Negt9 + is better - is worse ond NC is steady compared to last quarters GPA Bullets ( ) designate Instructors not confirmed as teaching listed class 0-7570-15
2840 Multivariable Calculus Anderson 1 400
1540 College Algebra Anderson 3 237 Dont need to go to lecture I would give him an F but I got a few good naps out of it
Dassioso 1 000 pound He speaks Greek and skips around on derivations
100 +10 ~ Harris 1 Harrington 1 300 JS Easy course teacher works Doesnt realize students are there anything_ Kuo - 1300 19 Smith 1 190 SIa Boring but a great class for
1550 Intro to Calculus working cross-word puzzleseasy
Brown 1 200 qz tests ~ Crump 1 400 Ii) Moziao 1 100 Gross 1 200 qz Travis 2 050 pound Yuck Confusing lectures Gives tests that Matthews 2 250 ~ require reading the entire book
Very hard to understand when he 2850 Multivariable Calculus shows up Alquiza 1 100 ~ Rowo 1 000 pound Very poor teacher Biased against
He teaches like an ostrich flies hes select students supposed to but he just doesnt get Anderson - 1 300 JjI around to it Great teacher but tests are rough
1560 Intro to Calculus Dydak 1 300 -10 ~ Caruth 1 380 trnJ El-Duma 1 000 pound Dosso 1 000 pound Retnam 1 100 ~ Row 1 000 2 Very hard to understand Never
1700 Pre-calculus changes clothes Coffee 1 200 qz Schippo 1 100 Mr Monotone bring a stiff drink or 2860 Multivariable Calculus a cup of coffee Alexiades 3 233 Dobbs 2 150 ~ ~ Decent teacher but you have to Doemt know how to explain work to get him interested No
anything moves too fast Great sYlabus No practicalc-applicatioris
sense of humor Alquiza 1 too ~ 1840 Single Variable Calculus Great teacher lousy tests
Coffee J O OOl~ i pound Bales - 1000middot pound Doemt like to teach 6 out of 50 Prof was abolrt as iRteresting and passed class persC1lable as a dead fish Taught out Daverman 2 150 ~ _ of thebOok~ Subject was stupid
Acts like an ex -chuggie hav ing numbeT tricks middotDTs middot Dalnis 3 Hintonlt 1 400 Ft McConnell 1
jjI 267 r
Q9O -33 ( ~
N~lte guy explains it very well Keller- middot l 100 ~ Huh The instrU~tor is a boring
wimpy monotonous dweeb Morris 1 400 tl) Made math a great experience PrestOno 1 400 trIl Sense of humor gets material across very well Extremely professional Stephenson 1 300 JjI Explains well goes slowly Wade 2 400 liiI Great professor He made the class interesting and understandable Zoran 1 400 D Funny He wore the samepants all quarter
Presentation of material was very
pOor 3155 Intro to Nwn Algor
Sonio 1 000 3310 Adv EuclideanGepm
Mulay 1200 3550 InteIDlediate Anal
Som R 1 000 Dr Soni is a total idiot
pound 3560middot middotIntermediate An~
Soni R 1 000
pound 4050 Matrix Algebra Appl McConnel 4 075 Incoherent Never let the class out on time Too strict in graiing Unwilling to answer questions or do examples
4250 - Intr Complex Anal Stepheson - 1 200
1841 Calculus for Biology Majors
1850
1860
2110
Kot 1 300 Good but gets sidetracked Single Variable Calculus Alquiza 1 200 Mulayo 000 Smith 100 Hes weird Single Variable Calculus Boriango 2 400 Great teacher learned a lot My God shes fair
Too much outside work required 4610 DiffEq
Simpson H 2 400 II Dassios had me sO messed up I couldnt do squat Now it all makes sense Great teacher but needs to work on his posture~
MEC~CALENGThffiERmG 3311 Engr Thermo
Amin 1 000 pound The wors~cher Impossible to McKinnyo l 400 tl)
~ 2 250 ~ - -S~tftmiddot t - ttOO ~- pound Arrogant son-of-a-bitA who did not
J~-tnOf~k questions -Hodgson 2 250 1 qz
know the material He encouraged everyone to drop hiS class Structure of Number System Stevens I 350
Not too willing to help students one-on one TestS are too hard
3330 ~grThenno Nguyen 2 150 -15 ~ Nice guy bad teacher
3520 Thermal Sciences Kektar 5 180 qzgt Decent Lame and hopeless
3530 Thermal Sciences Arnin 1 300 Jjf
3540 Heat Transfer bull Keyhani 3 233 qz Good instructor too arrogant
3620 Dynamics Becker 1 200 qz
3630 Mechanics of Machinery Holland 1 400 Ii) Excellant lots of stories
4511 Systems Smith 1 400 D A good guy
4670 Machine Elements Holland 1 100 ~ Always off on a tangent You have
middotto teach yourself grades easy
MICROBIOLOGY 2910 Gen Microbio
McMahOn 1 200 qz Never there- out making babies
4270 Immunology Wust ~ 2 100 ~ Lost In Space If he talked any faster hed explode Its not if the ans~er is right or wrong its if he likes it
MILITARY SCIENCE 1110 Fund Military Org
Benton 1 350 -05 A Hamilton Martin
1 350 -05 JiI 1 400 81
A great American hero 2110 Leadershlp Development
Ro~ 1 400 Etassroom of raw unbridled
bored
il l
tol R
middot JAME~middot 0 ~~C~(N
~Cgt
Buy 5pound- Lmiddot
rRAUpoundt-Ps (IiSSCrrf5middot cos
EHIND WAtCrRE N
The Lame nnII L Manifesto
llnP 16-25 26-35 3 1)middot40
MUSIC 1000 Fund Music Thoory
Hawthorne 1 200 ~ Good instructor very fair on testing a lotto be learned about music clt
1210 Music Appreciation Sadie 1 300 It Trevor l 300NC Jt Is never there
1230 History of Rock amp Roll Young 7 343 lll Great prof -rough tests Greit class Hes on drugs and on the rag Weird and w~ird TA
3652 Campus Band Sparks 2 150 -05 (gt Jerk Two-faced tells bad jokes Music choice is good tho
3657 Marching Band Julian 1 000 pound Not a human being
3950 Evolution ofJ~ Coker 1 400 l1fll Great sax player good jokes
NUTRITION 1010 Food Principles
Costello 1 400 NC D Great course great teacher
2210 Intro Trns Fd -Lodg Adinin Jones 1 loPO S
3210 Food Service Sys Mmg I~ Sneed l 200
PHYSICAL EDUCA nON 2707 El~entary Badmitoh
Trappmann 1 200 Crazy middotNazi
~
f
oPt A rf~R
NOON
---
~
~-
The Lame Monkey Manifesto
2772 Intenned Swimming Zhu 1 100
2781 Elem Tennis
3610 Electronics Elston SB 1 300 Two hour lectures zzzzzzz
Curtis 2 225 qz PLANT AND SOn SCIENCE She flirts with all the guys Doesnt help at all during class Schoonmak~ 1 300 m
2782 Intenned Tennis Penna 1 350 A
PHllOSOPHY 1510 Intro Philosophy
+20 qz ~
15 qz
Brenkert 1 200 Green l 300 Hamlin 2 250 Strange fonnat for class Hilliardmiddot 1 400 Interesting as a person teacher and friend Postow 1 100 Cure for insomnia
1511 Human Conditions Van deVate 1 300 -10 JjI Challenging but reasonable
1810 Intro-Symbolic Logic
2510
Grunfeldmiddot 1 000 Its gibberish I cant see the reasoning for taking this ElemLogic Grunfeld 4 325 Pair tests confusing lectures Roddymiddot l 100
2130 Soils Graveel 1 400 NC Jl)
POLITICAL SCIENCE 2020 Intro to Peli Sci
Allende 1 200 Hard to understand
2510 US Govt and Politics Robinson 1 200 NC qz Subject could be interesting but class time is not Scheb 1 200 Dull really knows how to kill a subject
2518 Honors US Govt Poli
2520
3130
Ungs 1 300 Good discussions sometimes too dry New Deal liberal but faiT US Govt and Politics Gant 1 400 +40 Jl) Very entertaining and inspiring made a dull subject fun Plaas 1 300 A Simonesmiddot 400 Jl) Dynamic lecturer Fun exciting stimulating motivating Pop Culture and Amer Politics Fittgerald 2 400 NC Jl) Exhibits the true defInition of what
3111 Boring never comes to class Ancient West Philo Van de Vate 1 400 Brilliant challenging teacher Ethics aand Society
a professor should be pound 3390 Coritemp Issues
PittgeraldIR 9 400 +03 Iib 3440
Postowmiddot 1 200 qz OK lecturer but he is confusing or confused
PHYSICS 1210 Intro Physics
Nielsen 4 075 -13 pound
2210
Its like being buried in an anthill then dipped in turpentine and set ablaze Lectures pointless This is a fucking intro course Loses approx 50 of all work turned in Still uses a slide rule Elements of Physics Childers 3 133 Boring and disorganiz~d
2310 Fund Physics Childers 1 100
2318
2320
2330
3110
Memorize everything including all equations Stelson 4 175 Cannot teach Easy tests Thompson 6 133 Brilliant physicist but a pitiful instructor To this day (5 days before fmals) 1 have no idea what the man is talking about Honors Fund Physics Riedinger 1 400 +20 Iib Fund Physics Calcott 200 +03 qz Decent lecturer but dont ask him a
question King 4 400 Jl) Better than anyone else teaching the course Elem of Physics Handler 3 333 ~ Good teaCher good partial credit Mechanics Shih 1 200 qz The bOok was better
3545
3546
This is not a class this is an emotional expierence ReaIly into material gives kick-ass lectures Constitutional Law Series SchebSteph 2 400 NC Jl) Good lectures fair tests Constitutional Law Series StephenS 1 200 Nice man pathetic format
3605 Pol Chan in Dev Areas
3631
3712
4410
Dodd 1 400 Likes the subject Gov and Pol of Sov Union Piennan 1 300 Grades much too tough US For Pol Processes Peterson 1 400 Good teacher good subject Law and Admin Pro Ungs 1 400 Interesting issues
4665 Public Policy Smith 2 350 Intelligent man difficult class new perspectivesAs conservative as Hell
PORTUGESE 1510 Elem Portugese
Rodiiguez 1 400 i1l The best teacher to teach Portu-guese to a bunch of sloppy disinter-ested students
1520 Elem Portugese Julian 3 367 Jl) Boa tarde Simply the best She cares about her students
PSYCHOLOGY 2500 Gen Psych
Henley 3 400 + 10 ~ Interesting approach brings it down to a personal ievel Phillipeamiddot 1 350 lB
~- -- ---- -~ - - -- ---- - -- --- -- ~ -- -
January 4 1988
2518 Honors Gen Psych Calhoun 1 400 I Small individualized class he makes it fun with jokes and stories
2520 Bio Poundation of Behavior Shrader 1 350 JiI VanCleave 2 400 NC Jl) Made the class more than just facts
2530 Psych as a Social Science VanCleave 2 3 85 Jl)
2540 Psych of Indiv Smith M 1 400 Jl) Take during the mini-tenn(with the football team) Anything Smith teaches is an middotA
3120 SQcialPsych Eissenberg 300 ~tif Good instructor but needs voice training
3150 Psych Statistics Handel 1 300 J)f Good teacher but his tests arent always overwhat he ~ught Smith M 2 400 NC ~ Good teacher and the fmal was a take-home
3210 Learning and Thinking middotMalone 1 400 NC Jl) Pollio 1 400 Jl]l Good class if youre going to make a career of going to school Smith M 4 325 J9 I think hes on LSD Very interesting kept my attention
3550 Child Psych Wahler 400 ~
3650
4230
Abnonnal Psych Wiberly 1 000 pound Prof was good but text book and subject matter offensive Sensory Proc amp Percep A Handel 2 150
When couldnt explain dropped into mathematical analogies Tests over what he wishes he could teach
4510 Personality Theories McIntyre 1 200 qz Extreme feminist strange person
4830 Hist and Sys of Psych Malone 2 300 ~m Intense lectures sinful tests
RECREATION 3100 Recre Leadership Proc
Cox 1 000 pound Lectures out of-book word for word
RELIGIOUS STUDIES 2120 Pounders in Religion
Linge 1 300 J9 Good speaker learned a lot
3021 Relig Myths Symbls and Rit Lusby 2 400 I Interesting and thought provoking Im in love with his mind
3311 Images of Jesus Dungan 1 400 Jl) P ascinating
3370 Intro to Christianity Linge 2 150 ) Disorganized all info for exams not discussed in class
7w WI ~ tu6 _j ~ t yu ~t ~ ~~ ~ tupound~ ~iIf Y~~~~tCOUtl
[jjj [JlJ 0 WI [f ~ ampJ 0 [p)71DmrflofJi) l ~9tA Y~ 38ru4u1 ~ 38e11 ~~IF~~it
January 4 1988 The Lame Monkey Manifesto
Number right of instructors name Is the jotal numbered surveyed Next over is the Instructors Grade point Average far right is GPAs Icon Next + is better - is worse and NC is steady compared to last quarters GPA II Bullets ( ) designate I~tructors not confirmed as teaching listed class
SOCIOLOGY 1510 Gen Sociology
Jacobson 2 250 Hes libral with a little common sense He sometimes calls off class Bidwell 1 400 I Fun easy tests not very hard just sit and listen Coleman - 1 400 NC Jrnl He lives for Sociology
- Harris 1 200 +10 ~ Teaching by television do~nt work
Heflin 1 400 1 Magnifico McKeeby 1 050 -25 pound Embarasses the hell out of you in -class if youre wrong Navarromiddot 1 400 Very complete
3110 Aspects of Spanish Lit Cobb 1 200 The manners of a goat
SPECIAL ED 5320 Manual Comm m
Barnesmiddot 1 400 DP Hubbardmiddot 1- 300
1520
3510
Wears sarne sweatshirt every day Perrin 2 200 ~ Teaches like a grad course Social Probs Dunaway 2 000 Q - should be killed Lies to students Entire number of lectures can be counted on one hand Didnt learn shit Norris Wallace
200 000
poundl6
Q -The teacher was not so ~ad but his TA was unfair and aline talked about was smoking pot and partyshying Juvenile Delinquency Black 1 000 Wanna fall asleep
Q -
Great guy interesting class SPEECH 2311 Public Speaking
I
2351
2361
Robertson 2 375 Took away the pressure of giving speeches Very relaxed atmosphere V~cl 1 100 ~ Interpersonal Commun Ambrester 3 400 NC I Relates to students Doesnt jerk you around like most profs Business and Profes Speaking McDaniels 1 400
4560 Rhet of Worn Rights Movem Cook 1 100 Tries to teach a rhetoric class by telling you the words but not the context in which they were spoken
SPANISH STATISTICS 1110 Elem Spanish 2100 Prob and Stats
Gl 2 400 fifll ennmiddot )l Beal 1 150 Got away with murder and still learned
Doesnt know how to explain
0-75 76middot1 5
Dixon 400 Cares about students Walker 2 400 NC Jrji Great teacher expresses material
well 3110 Regression and Corr Meth
1
3220
3450
Cwiek 1 400 The best in stats Niedart 2 250 ~
Very picky a tough grader on -exams Walker E
tests Sylwester 2 250 Be prepared to do ALL the homework
LoI Lo
THEATRE 2111 Acting
Harris 400 Ii) Great teacher knows his stuff Always in a good mood He gets to know each student personally
2252 Survey of World Dramas I Schmitt 1 400 NC
Ancient drama in modem terms
16-25 26-35 36middot 40
1RANSPORTATION 3115
4415
4720
2980
3990
4200
4720
Intro to Logistics Langley 1 200 -20 5lb
OK hard exams Freight Carrier Operations Patton _ 4 325 -03 4 Fair in coursework and tests 1
Logistic Sys Mgrnnt Sem middot ~ 51b Foggin 1 200
Teaches bare-bones essentiils and tests over his lectures Easy class if youve had Bio 123 Human Anatomy Milastan 1 400 Fair A hunk Zoo Coll6quim
I Greenburg 1 400 Ichthyology
I Etnier 400 Only instructor Ive had that would drink a beer with students Comp Animal Behavior
Bowers 1 400 Excellent instructor GreenburgB 1 300 Greenburgs great burghdts bizarre
WIN A DATE WITH JOHNNY MAJORSmiddot Oh What a Hunk Its NOT TOO LATE to win
A God in his own time Unbelieveable but yes The Lame Monkey Manifesto is giving one lUCKY soul an all-expense paid evening with Johnny Majors but only if you enter
You may have the opportunity to gaze deep into his eyes and ponder the meaning of UTK Wine Dinner Dancing A evening of football related conversation Allis possible if you wont tell his wife An enticing proposition all middotfor the low low price of free A stimulating adventure with this prime example of virility~ The season may be over but Johnny is still hot hot hot
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The Lame Monkey Manifesto January 4 1988
Logic Logic Whos Got the Logic Jesus Was a Commie and Darwin Wasnt Talking About Hulk Hogan Doug Collins Lame Monkey Philosophy Reporter
Well now well now it seems weve upset some people God That Good Natured Ole Tyrant has made some people react-not think mind you but read Lets analyze those reshyactions for a minute One writer a very (parenthetical) and (dogmatic) person who signs himself The Prophet has attempted to answer our little riddle Proph babe before you-call these questions shallow and redundant you should do a little reshysearch Saint Augustine and Saint Thomas Aquinas had difficulty with this one and even they lost sight of the problemgetting caught in the same
the buck Throw in omnibenevolence and
you see that God cannot by the nature of omnibenevolence choose evil or allow evil to be chosen If he does then it is not through inability to reconcile free will and an absence of evil for God is able to do anything And there ladies and gents is where you lost sight of the little pea in my previous she~l game article
If God can do anything then He can reconcile paradox The logically impossible is not even difficult pi can equal three cocks will crow at moonshyrise and magic is loose in the world God can be omnipotent omnibenevoshylent and support Alabama if He so chooses because He has the power I cant understand it but then I cant understand nested infinities or 4th dimensional curves either How can He do it Ask him not I
So what do we do now Well we abandon logic and enter the realm of faith I have faith that God does not exists I cant prove it because if He
morass of scripture in which you does exist then all my logical relationshyfound yourself stuck It is impossible ships are merely a fraction of His within the structures of logic to rec- being You can believe what you want oncile an omnipotent omniscient to I am disappointed that no one omnibenevolent deity with the exis- caught the gimmick in my first article tence of evi Once again Ill point out Oh well you were probably too horrishythe fallacy of the free wiil argument fied by the prospect of a Godless uni-
First of all free will is itself incon- verse Speaking of which shall we sistent with omniscience and discuss Lonnie Rapers pathological omnipotence If ~~~~~~- dependence on God knows every- God the Father for thing then he hismoralandethi-knows what I am cal standards about to do and Gently now we has known sinee dont want to he said fiat lux frighten him (God spoke Latin Lon n ie yknow) There- sweetie athe-fore he knows if I ists was the cor-will choose good rect term Secular or evil If God is humanist is a omnipotent then Neo Dexter buzz he can cause me to word for anyone choose good or evil and in fact has who refuses to march in step Godshydone so Lose me on that one Well if less communists goes to far since I can do anything and I choose not to communism is a politico-economic act sntthat the same thing as acting system A system advocated by Jesus Haven-t I knowing the resul ts of inac- by the way at least as far as economics tion by not acting chosen -to those is concerned Jesus was not a results In other words can God pass capitalist
I saw Jesus go by the doorway of my lecture hall this morning He paused momentarily as if to explain Sorry cant stay Im late for My religious studies class
He was wearing a tie-dyed Grateful Dead shirt And carrying an art pad and some Middle Estern Civilization textbooks Iwanted to go running after him and ask him For his phone number just in case I ever got in troubleshyThen I smiled And realized how foolish that would be
Now lets turn to the argument probably more fitto survive the social itself I was willing to go along with environment Like the old story about you until you equated survival of the the bundle-of sticks one stick by itself fittest with might makes middot right can be broken combine the sticksand This is a common f they are stronger perversion of Dar- - Actually -I think win wherein sur- ~ ~ that this is both vival of the fittest lt self-evident and become survlVal of ~ _ ~ an endorsement of
Th ~ ltgt (r the strongest e ~ -~lt ~ __ rt~compassionate so-two are not the I ~ ~~ ~ I cieties If you be-same ~ffY lt -- J _ ~I lieve tha~ a socially
Hulk Hogan ~W ~~ f -5J ~f ~ responSIble SOCI-the man the myth r r r- _ tW~ ety is so unfitthat it the legend able to flrr=-~ ji~ ~ must be propped eat steel bars and r I up by God all you shit nails would 11 if are saying is that pop like a balloon if since God is shoved suddenly I i strongest let His into even a rela- Just Another will prevail That is tively soft vacuum Godless Communist truly might mak-yetthere small weak and timid bacte- ing right You seem unable to accept ria which cope at ease Why Because that the universe may a cold and the bacteria are more fit to survive lonely place but just because you that environment Just so with ethical dont like it dont mean it aint so systems Wrap yourself in illusions Lonnie
If a system based on rights and a but dont pawn them off as reality concern for justice is more popular Some of us dont need God to keep us than a dog-eat-dog anarchy then it is warm at night
~AnnMK Patil Mozingo Contraception Kills
4 1988 The Lame J Manifesto
he Winter Weather Worrywart Checklist Lauralie Morton Lame Monkey Weather Correspondent
Well it seems that we are presently the victims of an excessively precipishytant winter season and it is apparent that we have some amateur worriers out there in the nooks and crannies of readerland Having had the unmitishygated delight of living out twentyshythree wjnters in this burgeoning meshytropolis I consider myself an expert in the field of professional weathershyworry If you follow the directions exactly as presented here I can assure you a successful survival of the terror this winter might bring
1 If ad verse conditions are preshydicted )mmediately rush out to the nearest grocery store and stock up on staples and non-perishables The cruel terrain of East Tenness~e
coupled with ice-covered roads could strand you for weeks on end How horrible to starve to death in your
own home just because you ignored your scout promise to be prepared Tomato soup grilled cheese sandshywich fixings and four kegs of beer are essential to a basic survival kit
2 Do not drive at all from Novemshyber 1st through April 15th If you must drive be sure to pump your brakes when going up hills My sisters husbands cousins doctor once told me that this gives good tracshytion For Gods sake slam on the brakes if you start to slide on snow or ice This will at least ensure your departure from this world in a genushyine blaze of glory
3 Be a good weather-watcher Know the difference between the jet stream and the blood stream Monitor temperature fluctuation~_ at fifteen minute intervals That harmless little raincloud out there could easily metashymorphose into a full-blown blizzard just because the temp drops a degree or two And just imagine your shame at being caught in the unawares
Theres No Place Like Colectors Choice
Theres No Place Like
MOVED TO NEW LOCATION -2104 Cutnbedand bull Next to -Davis-Kidd
GAMES bull COMICS ~ MINIATURES BASEBALL CARDS
_ MOVIE POSTERSmiddot STAR TREK
when all you had to do was call the local times and temperature number four times an hour
4 If you are at work or school when you spot that first flake leave immeshydiately It is helpfu1to clog Kingston Pike Cucumberland A venue and the interstate system with thousands of frightened commuters all at once The glut of traffic keeps the precipitation be it snow or ice from ever reaching the streets surface
5 Feel free to sled and frolic onyour neighborhood streets This will keep you from getting out in your car and sliding over anYsmall children~who might be sledding on your neighborshyhood streets You probably wont get hurt
Now that weve established a few precautions lets discuss how to best enjoy this weather Here are a few suggestions to cure that cabin fever
1 Watch MTV until your eyes glaze over The minute-by-minute intellecshytual challenges of music videos will provide you with hours of thrills and
chills 2 Do not read anything This is
imperative You already have to do enough reading as it is so dont let this pollutant leak into your recreashytional space
3 Urinate your middot name in a snowshybank (This is especially entertaining for females)
4 Indulge yourself in otherwise decadent luxury Take a bubble bath for two days or until the snow melts--- whichever comes first Stuff yourself on chocolate raisins and lisshyten to Windham Hill until you beshycome comatose
5 Teach yourself to armpit-fart Let It Snow Lust after Vanna White and Pat Sajak while giving yourself a pedicure Fake a British accent while ordering a pizza
Well I could go on with these entershytaining suggestions all day but youve got the basic idea In essence a snowstorm can be compared to sexshyas long as youre prepared you can
stop worrying and enjoy yourself
On September 13 1 ~86i Sherman Smith died of boredom
in his neighborhood Laundromat ) -
Too bad he didnt know about middot Harvey Washbangers the Laundromat and
Pub where the fun never stops
Open 9AM to 12 Midnight 7 days a week Free Dryers M-F 9AM to 12 Noon ~~
1 Alt
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The Lame Manifesto 4 1988 Page 12
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The Lame Monkey Manifesto
2772 Intenned Swimming Zhu 1 100
2781 Elem Tennis
3610 Electronics Elston SB 1 300 Two hour lectures zzzzzzz
Curtis 2 225 qz PLANT AND SOn SCIENCE She flirts with all the guys Doesnt help at all during class Schoonmak~ 1 300 m
2782 Intenned Tennis Penna 1 350 A
PHllOSOPHY 1510 Intro Philosophy
+20 qz ~
15 qz
Brenkert 1 200 Green l 300 Hamlin 2 250 Strange fonnat for class Hilliardmiddot 1 400 Interesting as a person teacher and friend Postow 1 100 Cure for insomnia
1511 Human Conditions Van deVate 1 300 -10 JjI Challenging but reasonable
1810 Intro-Symbolic Logic
2510
Grunfeldmiddot 1 000 Its gibberish I cant see the reasoning for taking this ElemLogic Grunfeld 4 325 Pair tests confusing lectures Roddymiddot l 100
2130 Soils Graveel 1 400 NC Jl)
POLITICAL SCIENCE 2020 Intro to Peli Sci
Allende 1 200 Hard to understand
2510 US Govt and Politics Robinson 1 200 NC qz Subject could be interesting but class time is not Scheb 1 200 Dull really knows how to kill a subject
2518 Honors US Govt Poli
2520
3130
Ungs 1 300 Good discussions sometimes too dry New Deal liberal but faiT US Govt and Politics Gant 1 400 +40 Jl) Very entertaining and inspiring made a dull subject fun Plaas 1 300 A Simonesmiddot 400 Jl) Dynamic lecturer Fun exciting stimulating motivating Pop Culture and Amer Politics Fittgerald 2 400 NC Jl) Exhibits the true defInition of what
3111 Boring never comes to class Ancient West Philo Van de Vate 1 400 Brilliant challenging teacher Ethics aand Society
a professor should be pound 3390 Coritemp Issues
PittgeraldIR 9 400 +03 Iib 3440
Postowmiddot 1 200 qz OK lecturer but he is confusing or confused
PHYSICS 1210 Intro Physics
Nielsen 4 075 -13 pound
2210
Its like being buried in an anthill then dipped in turpentine and set ablaze Lectures pointless This is a fucking intro course Loses approx 50 of all work turned in Still uses a slide rule Elements of Physics Childers 3 133 Boring and disorganiz~d
2310 Fund Physics Childers 1 100
2318
2320
2330
3110
Memorize everything including all equations Stelson 4 175 Cannot teach Easy tests Thompson 6 133 Brilliant physicist but a pitiful instructor To this day (5 days before fmals) 1 have no idea what the man is talking about Honors Fund Physics Riedinger 1 400 +20 Iib Fund Physics Calcott 200 +03 qz Decent lecturer but dont ask him a
question King 4 400 Jl) Better than anyone else teaching the course Elem of Physics Handler 3 333 ~ Good teaCher good partial credit Mechanics Shih 1 200 qz The bOok was better
3545
3546
This is not a class this is an emotional expierence ReaIly into material gives kick-ass lectures Constitutional Law Series SchebSteph 2 400 NC Jl) Good lectures fair tests Constitutional Law Series StephenS 1 200 Nice man pathetic format
3605 Pol Chan in Dev Areas
3631
3712
4410
Dodd 1 400 Likes the subject Gov and Pol of Sov Union Piennan 1 300 Grades much too tough US For Pol Processes Peterson 1 400 Good teacher good subject Law and Admin Pro Ungs 1 400 Interesting issues
4665 Public Policy Smith 2 350 Intelligent man difficult class new perspectivesAs conservative as Hell
PORTUGESE 1510 Elem Portugese
Rodiiguez 1 400 i1l The best teacher to teach Portu-guese to a bunch of sloppy disinter-ested students
1520 Elem Portugese Julian 3 367 Jl) Boa tarde Simply the best She cares about her students
PSYCHOLOGY 2500 Gen Psych
Henley 3 400 + 10 ~ Interesting approach brings it down to a personal ievel Phillipeamiddot 1 350 lB
~- -- ---- -~ - - -- ---- - -- --- -- ~ -- -
January 4 1988
2518 Honors Gen Psych Calhoun 1 400 I Small individualized class he makes it fun with jokes and stories
2520 Bio Poundation of Behavior Shrader 1 350 JiI VanCleave 2 400 NC Jl) Made the class more than just facts
2530 Psych as a Social Science VanCleave 2 3 85 Jl)
2540 Psych of Indiv Smith M 1 400 Jl) Take during the mini-tenn(with the football team) Anything Smith teaches is an middotA
3120 SQcialPsych Eissenberg 300 ~tif Good instructor but needs voice training
3150 Psych Statistics Handel 1 300 J)f Good teacher but his tests arent always overwhat he ~ught Smith M 2 400 NC ~ Good teacher and the fmal was a take-home
3210 Learning and Thinking middotMalone 1 400 NC Jl) Pollio 1 400 Jl]l Good class if youre going to make a career of going to school Smith M 4 325 J9 I think hes on LSD Very interesting kept my attention
3550 Child Psych Wahler 400 ~
3650
4230
Abnonnal Psych Wiberly 1 000 pound Prof was good but text book and subject matter offensive Sensory Proc amp Percep A Handel 2 150
When couldnt explain dropped into mathematical analogies Tests over what he wishes he could teach
4510 Personality Theories McIntyre 1 200 qz Extreme feminist strange person
4830 Hist and Sys of Psych Malone 2 300 ~m Intense lectures sinful tests
RECREATION 3100 Recre Leadership Proc
Cox 1 000 pound Lectures out of-book word for word
RELIGIOUS STUDIES 2120 Pounders in Religion
Linge 1 300 J9 Good speaker learned a lot
3021 Relig Myths Symbls and Rit Lusby 2 400 I Interesting and thought provoking Im in love with his mind
3311 Images of Jesus Dungan 1 400 Jl) P ascinating
3370 Intro to Christianity Linge 2 150 ) Disorganized all info for exams not discussed in class
7w WI ~ tu6 _j ~ t yu ~t ~ ~~ ~ tupound~ ~iIf Y~~~~tCOUtl
[jjj [JlJ 0 WI [f ~ ampJ 0 [p)71DmrflofJi) l ~9tA Y~ 38ru4u1 ~ 38e11 ~~IF~~it
January 4 1988 The Lame Monkey Manifesto
Number right of instructors name Is the jotal numbered surveyed Next over is the Instructors Grade point Average far right is GPAs Icon Next + is better - is worse and NC is steady compared to last quarters GPA II Bullets ( ) designate I~tructors not confirmed as teaching listed class
SOCIOLOGY 1510 Gen Sociology
Jacobson 2 250 Hes libral with a little common sense He sometimes calls off class Bidwell 1 400 I Fun easy tests not very hard just sit and listen Coleman - 1 400 NC Jrnl He lives for Sociology
- Harris 1 200 +10 ~ Teaching by television do~nt work
Heflin 1 400 1 Magnifico McKeeby 1 050 -25 pound Embarasses the hell out of you in -class if youre wrong Navarromiddot 1 400 Very complete
3110 Aspects of Spanish Lit Cobb 1 200 The manners of a goat
SPECIAL ED 5320 Manual Comm m
Barnesmiddot 1 400 DP Hubbardmiddot 1- 300
1520
3510
Wears sarne sweatshirt every day Perrin 2 200 ~ Teaches like a grad course Social Probs Dunaway 2 000 Q - should be killed Lies to students Entire number of lectures can be counted on one hand Didnt learn shit Norris Wallace
200 000
poundl6
Q -The teacher was not so ~ad but his TA was unfair and aline talked about was smoking pot and partyshying Juvenile Delinquency Black 1 000 Wanna fall asleep
Q -
Great guy interesting class SPEECH 2311 Public Speaking
I
2351
2361
Robertson 2 375 Took away the pressure of giving speeches Very relaxed atmosphere V~cl 1 100 ~ Interpersonal Commun Ambrester 3 400 NC I Relates to students Doesnt jerk you around like most profs Business and Profes Speaking McDaniels 1 400
4560 Rhet of Worn Rights Movem Cook 1 100 Tries to teach a rhetoric class by telling you the words but not the context in which they were spoken
SPANISH STATISTICS 1110 Elem Spanish 2100 Prob and Stats
Gl 2 400 fifll ennmiddot )l Beal 1 150 Got away with murder and still learned
Doesnt know how to explain
0-75 76middot1 5
Dixon 400 Cares about students Walker 2 400 NC Jrji Great teacher expresses material
well 3110 Regression and Corr Meth
1
3220
3450
Cwiek 1 400 The best in stats Niedart 2 250 ~
Very picky a tough grader on -exams Walker E
tests Sylwester 2 250 Be prepared to do ALL the homework
LoI Lo
THEATRE 2111 Acting
Harris 400 Ii) Great teacher knows his stuff Always in a good mood He gets to know each student personally
2252 Survey of World Dramas I Schmitt 1 400 NC
Ancient drama in modem terms
16-25 26-35 36middot 40
1RANSPORTATION 3115
4415
4720
2980
3990
4200
4720
Intro to Logistics Langley 1 200 -20 5lb
OK hard exams Freight Carrier Operations Patton _ 4 325 -03 4 Fair in coursework and tests 1
Logistic Sys Mgrnnt Sem middot ~ 51b Foggin 1 200
Teaches bare-bones essentiils and tests over his lectures Easy class if youve had Bio 123 Human Anatomy Milastan 1 400 Fair A hunk Zoo Coll6quim
I Greenburg 1 400 Ichthyology
I Etnier 400 Only instructor Ive had that would drink a beer with students Comp Animal Behavior
Bowers 1 400 Excellent instructor GreenburgB 1 300 Greenburgs great burghdts bizarre
WIN A DATE WITH JOHNNY MAJORSmiddot Oh What a Hunk Its NOT TOO LATE to win
A God in his own time Unbelieveable but yes The Lame Monkey Manifesto is giving one lUCKY soul an all-expense paid evening with Johnny Majors but only if you enter
You may have the opportunity to gaze deep into his eyes and ponder the meaning of UTK Wine Dinner Dancing A evening of football related conversation Allis possible if you wont tell his wife An enticing proposition all middotfor the low low price of free A stimulating adventure with this prime example of virility~ The season may be over but Johnny is still hot hot hot
Be the first on your block to make go out with Johnny Majors A throbbing evening to make any debautant blush
The Lame Monkey has made available to you this extraordinary opportunity This evening dinner package can be yours only if your enter Send your prize winning rtmiddot~middot ~--u numbers in today and take advan- bullbull tage of this once in a lifetime oppor-tunity
Lonely Impotent Take control of your life and enter now
~--------------- -- bull The Larne Monkey Manifesto 1 WIN A DATE WITH JOHNNY MAJORS SWEEPSTAKES 1 1 bull 1 1 Your Exclusive I I Name
(ah-hem)
IAddress Prize Numbers 1 IPhone _~ _ _ ---_------__ fr ) r rrrr rrrr r 1
CG6374840l UN6372510 1 GC52262211 M048313771
YOU are
IYoU prefer
-Male -
Males
Secret Fantasy
Female
Females
PT1095555 PM9707533 DR9744889 RP6377263
Mail To PDBox 8763 KnolxviJ1e TN 37996-4800 J ------
- - - - - - - 0- _ __ __ __ _ _- - - - - - ~ - - - - - -- - - _- -- - -
i -~
I I I I
The Lame Monkey Manifesto January 4 1988
Logic Logic Whos Got the Logic Jesus Was a Commie and Darwin Wasnt Talking About Hulk Hogan Doug Collins Lame Monkey Philosophy Reporter
Well now well now it seems weve upset some people God That Good Natured Ole Tyrant has made some people react-not think mind you but read Lets analyze those reshyactions for a minute One writer a very (parenthetical) and (dogmatic) person who signs himself The Prophet has attempted to answer our little riddle Proph babe before you-call these questions shallow and redundant you should do a little reshysearch Saint Augustine and Saint Thomas Aquinas had difficulty with this one and even they lost sight of the problemgetting caught in the same
the buck Throw in omnibenevolence and
you see that God cannot by the nature of omnibenevolence choose evil or allow evil to be chosen If he does then it is not through inability to reconcile free will and an absence of evil for God is able to do anything And there ladies and gents is where you lost sight of the little pea in my previous she~l game article
If God can do anything then He can reconcile paradox The logically impossible is not even difficult pi can equal three cocks will crow at moonshyrise and magic is loose in the world God can be omnipotent omnibenevoshylent and support Alabama if He so chooses because He has the power I cant understand it but then I cant understand nested infinities or 4th dimensional curves either How can He do it Ask him not I
So what do we do now Well we abandon logic and enter the realm of faith I have faith that God does not exists I cant prove it because if He
morass of scripture in which you does exist then all my logical relationshyfound yourself stuck It is impossible ships are merely a fraction of His within the structures of logic to rec- being You can believe what you want oncile an omnipotent omniscient to I am disappointed that no one omnibenevolent deity with the exis- caught the gimmick in my first article tence of evi Once again Ill point out Oh well you were probably too horrishythe fallacy of the free wiil argument fied by the prospect of a Godless uni-
First of all free will is itself incon- verse Speaking of which shall we sistent with omniscience and discuss Lonnie Rapers pathological omnipotence If ~~~~~~- dependence on God knows every- God the Father for thing then he hismoralandethi-knows what I am cal standards about to do and Gently now we has known sinee dont want to he said fiat lux frighten him (God spoke Latin Lon n ie yknow) There- sweetie athe-fore he knows if I ists was the cor-will choose good rect term Secular or evil If God is humanist is a omnipotent then Neo Dexter buzz he can cause me to word for anyone choose good or evil and in fact has who refuses to march in step Godshydone so Lose me on that one Well if less communists goes to far since I can do anything and I choose not to communism is a politico-economic act sntthat the same thing as acting system A system advocated by Jesus Haven-t I knowing the resul ts of inac- by the way at least as far as economics tion by not acting chosen -to those is concerned Jesus was not a results In other words can God pass capitalist
I saw Jesus go by the doorway of my lecture hall this morning He paused momentarily as if to explain Sorry cant stay Im late for My religious studies class
He was wearing a tie-dyed Grateful Dead shirt And carrying an art pad and some Middle Estern Civilization textbooks Iwanted to go running after him and ask him For his phone number just in case I ever got in troubleshyThen I smiled And realized how foolish that would be
Now lets turn to the argument probably more fitto survive the social itself I was willing to go along with environment Like the old story about you until you equated survival of the the bundle-of sticks one stick by itself fittest with might makes middot right can be broken combine the sticksand This is a common f they are stronger perversion of Dar- - Actually -I think win wherein sur- ~ ~ that this is both vival of the fittest lt self-evident and become survlVal of ~ _ ~ an endorsement of
Th ~ ltgt (r the strongest e ~ -~lt ~ __ rt~compassionate so-two are not the I ~ ~~ ~ I cieties If you be-same ~ffY lt -- J _ ~I lieve tha~ a socially
Hulk Hogan ~W ~~ f -5J ~f ~ responSIble SOCI-the man the myth r r r- _ tW~ ety is so unfitthat it the legend able to flrr=-~ ji~ ~ must be propped eat steel bars and r I up by God all you shit nails would 11 if are saying is that pop like a balloon if since God is shoved suddenly I i strongest let His into even a rela- Just Another will prevail That is tively soft vacuum Godless Communist truly might mak-yetthere small weak and timid bacte- ing right You seem unable to accept ria which cope at ease Why Because that the universe may a cold and the bacteria are more fit to survive lonely place but just because you that environment Just so with ethical dont like it dont mean it aint so systems Wrap yourself in illusions Lonnie
If a system based on rights and a but dont pawn them off as reality concern for justice is more popular Some of us dont need God to keep us than a dog-eat-dog anarchy then it is warm at night
~AnnMK Patil Mozingo Contraception Kills
4 1988 The Lame J Manifesto
he Winter Weather Worrywart Checklist Lauralie Morton Lame Monkey Weather Correspondent
Well it seems that we are presently the victims of an excessively precipishytant winter season and it is apparent that we have some amateur worriers out there in the nooks and crannies of readerland Having had the unmitishygated delight of living out twentyshythree wjnters in this burgeoning meshytropolis I consider myself an expert in the field of professional weathershyworry If you follow the directions exactly as presented here I can assure you a successful survival of the terror this winter might bring
1 If ad verse conditions are preshydicted )mmediately rush out to the nearest grocery store and stock up on staples and non-perishables The cruel terrain of East Tenness~e
coupled with ice-covered roads could strand you for weeks on end How horrible to starve to death in your
own home just because you ignored your scout promise to be prepared Tomato soup grilled cheese sandshywich fixings and four kegs of beer are essential to a basic survival kit
2 Do not drive at all from Novemshyber 1st through April 15th If you must drive be sure to pump your brakes when going up hills My sisters husbands cousins doctor once told me that this gives good tracshytion For Gods sake slam on the brakes if you start to slide on snow or ice This will at least ensure your departure from this world in a genushyine blaze of glory
3 Be a good weather-watcher Know the difference between the jet stream and the blood stream Monitor temperature fluctuation~_ at fifteen minute intervals That harmless little raincloud out there could easily metashymorphose into a full-blown blizzard just because the temp drops a degree or two And just imagine your shame at being caught in the unawares
Theres No Place Like Colectors Choice
Theres No Place Like
MOVED TO NEW LOCATION -2104 Cutnbedand bull Next to -Davis-Kidd
GAMES bull COMICS ~ MINIATURES BASEBALL CARDS
_ MOVIE POSTERSmiddot STAR TREK
when all you had to do was call the local times and temperature number four times an hour
4 If you are at work or school when you spot that first flake leave immeshydiately It is helpfu1to clog Kingston Pike Cucumberland A venue and the interstate system with thousands of frightened commuters all at once The glut of traffic keeps the precipitation be it snow or ice from ever reaching the streets surface
5 Feel free to sled and frolic onyour neighborhood streets This will keep you from getting out in your car and sliding over anYsmall children~who might be sledding on your neighborshyhood streets You probably wont get hurt
Now that weve established a few precautions lets discuss how to best enjoy this weather Here are a few suggestions to cure that cabin fever
1 Watch MTV until your eyes glaze over The minute-by-minute intellecshytual challenges of music videos will provide you with hours of thrills and
chills 2 Do not read anything This is
imperative You already have to do enough reading as it is so dont let this pollutant leak into your recreashytional space
3 Urinate your middot name in a snowshybank (This is especially entertaining for females)
4 Indulge yourself in otherwise decadent luxury Take a bubble bath for two days or until the snow melts--- whichever comes first Stuff yourself on chocolate raisins and lisshyten to Windham Hill until you beshycome comatose
5 Teach yourself to armpit-fart Let It Snow Lust after Vanna White and Pat Sajak while giving yourself a pedicure Fake a British accent while ordering a pizza
Well I could go on with these entershytaining suggestions all day but youve got the basic idea In essence a snowstorm can be compared to sexshyas long as youre prepared you can
stop worrying and enjoy yourself
On September 13 1 ~86i Sherman Smith died of boredom
in his neighborhood Laundromat ) -
Too bad he didnt know about middot Harvey Washbangers the Laundromat and
Pub where the fun never stops
Open 9AM to 12 Midnight 7 days a week Free Dryers M-F 9AM to 12 Noon ~~
1 Alt
LAUNDROMAT
e -
2114 Cumberland Ave Ort the Strip
Dry U51
Service A
t I
t I - I
t t
The Lame Manifesto 4 1988 Page 12
Lame Monkey Classified Ads ITS NOT TOO LATE To Enter
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EVEN IF YOURE A JERK Universal Printing can make your Resume look as if you had class and taste We specialize in making dweeb-bobs look great 19th Street behind taco hell
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ROMANmiddotPHOTOS - REVUES - LlVRES -PRODUITSmiddot FILMS-LiNGERI X DE NOTRE PRODUCTION
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64 Bd Voltairemiddot 75011 Paris ~~~
The Lame Mon WIN-A-OAT with
Johnny Maj Sweepstakes
K SEE PAGE 9 -
YOU CAN shy DO IT WITH
a powerful placebo called
The Lame Monkey Manifesto
A pinch in her food or drink 8IId get ready lor instlln lovmaking Shea be tuned on fa hour of wild p8S$ion and IOlsoflovin Works so tast you should take some yourself No prescription Extra Sbong and safe to UN Speas fennul works on bot) sexes
STAY HARD (or soft) and CONTROL YOURSELF with BRAIN PRE WASHING~
A simple t8chnique Ihat any can learn in minutes Simply read the Lcnc Monkey oullood and passion is yoors
The Lame Monkey Manifesto -Your Monkey in the Middleshy
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~ _4 =~~~==~=z======~==~==================l-
January 4 1988 The Lame Monkey Manifesto
Number right of instructors name Is the jotal numbered surveyed Next over is the Instructors Grade point Average far right is GPAs Icon Next + is better - is worse and NC is steady compared to last quarters GPA II Bullets ( ) designate I~tructors not confirmed as teaching listed class
SOCIOLOGY 1510 Gen Sociology
Jacobson 2 250 Hes libral with a little common sense He sometimes calls off class Bidwell 1 400 I Fun easy tests not very hard just sit and listen Coleman - 1 400 NC Jrnl He lives for Sociology
- Harris 1 200 +10 ~ Teaching by television do~nt work
Heflin 1 400 1 Magnifico McKeeby 1 050 -25 pound Embarasses the hell out of you in -class if youre wrong Navarromiddot 1 400 Very complete
3110 Aspects of Spanish Lit Cobb 1 200 The manners of a goat
SPECIAL ED 5320 Manual Comm m
Barnesmiddot 1 400 DP Hubbardmiddot 1- 300
1520
3510
Wears sarne sweatshirt every day Perrin 2 200 ~ Teaches like a grad course Social Probs Dunaway 2 000 Q - should be killed Lies to students Entire number of lectures can be counted on one hand Didnt learn shit Norris Wallace
200 000
poundl6
Q -The teacher was not so ~ad but his TA was unfair and aline talked about was smoking pot and partyshying Juvenile Delinquency Black 1 000 Wanna fall asleep
Q -
Great guy interesting class SPEECH 2311 Public Speaking
I
2351
2361
Robertson 2 375 Took away the pressure of giving speeches Very relaxed atmosphere V~cl 1 100 ~ Interpersonal Commun Ambrester 3 400 NC I Relates to students Doesnt jerk you around like most profs Business and Profes Speaking McDaniels 1 400
4560 Rhet of Worn Rights Movem Cook 1 100 Tries to teach a rhetoric class by telling you the words but not the context in which they were spoken
SPANISH STATISTICS 1110 Elem Spanish 2100 Prob and Stats
Gl 2 400 fifll ennmiddot )l Beal 1 150 Got away with murder and still learned
Doesnt know how to explain
0-75 76middot1 5
Dixon 400 Cares about students Walker 2 400 NC Jrji Great teacher expresses material
well 3110 Regression and Corr Meth
1
3220
3450
Cwiek 1 400 The best in stats Niedart 2 250 ~
Very picky a tough grader on -exams Walker E
tests Sylwester 2 250 Be prepared to do ALL the homework
LoI Lo
THEATRE 2111 Acting
Harris 400 Ii) Great teacher knows his stuff Always in a good mood He gets to know each student personally
2252 Survey of World Dramas I Schmitt 1 400 NC
Ancient drama in modem terms
16-25 26-35 36middot 40
1RANSPORTATION 3115
4415
4720
2980
3990
4200
4720
Intro to Logistics Langley 1 200 -20 5lb
OK hard exams Freight Carrier Operations Patton _ 4 325 -03 4 Fair in coursework and tests 1
Logistic Sys Mgrnnt Sem middot ~ 51b Foggin 1 200
Teaches bare-bones essentiils and tests over his lectures Easy class if youve had Bio 123 Human Anatomy Milastan 1 400 Fair A hunk Zoo Coll6quim
I Greenburg 1 400 Ichthyology
I Etnier 400 Only instructor Ive had that would drink a beer with students Comp Animal Behavior
Bowers 1 400 Excellent instructor GreenburgB 1 300 Greenburgs great burghdts bizarre
WIN A DATE WITH JOHNNY MAJORSmiddot Oh What a Hunk Its NOT TOO LATE to win
A God in his own time Unbelieveable but yes The Lame Monkey Manifesto is giving one lUCKY soul an all-expense paid evening with Johnny Majors but only if you enter
You may have the opportunity to gaze deep into his eyes and ponder the meaning of UTK Wine Dinner Dancing A evening of football related conversation Allis possible if you wont tell his wife An enticing proposition all middotfor the low low price of free A stimulating adventure with this prime example of virility~ The season may be over but Johnny is still hot hot hot
Be the first on your block to make go out with Johnny Majors A throbbing evening to make any debautant blush
The Lame Monkey has made available to you this extraordinary opportunity This evening dinner package can be yours only if your enter Send your prize winning rtmiddot~middot ~--u numbers in today and take advan- bullbull tage of this once in a lifetime oppor-tunity
Lonely Impotent Take control of your life and enter now
~--------------- -- bull The Larne Monkey Manifesto 1 WIN A DATE WITH JOHNNY MAJORS SWEEPSTAKES 1 1 bull 1 1 Your Exclusive I I Name
(ah-hem)
IAddress Prize Numbers 1 IPhone _~ _ _ ---_------__ fr ) r rrrr rrrr r 1
CG6374840l UN6372510 1 GC52262211 M048313771
YOU are
IYoU prefer
-Male -
Males
Secret Fantasy
Female
Females
PT1095555 PM9707533 DR9744889 RP6377263
Mail To PDBox 8763 KnolxviJ1e TN 37996-4800 J ------
- - - - - - - 0- _ __ __ __ _ _- - - - - - ~ - - - - - -- - - _- -- - -
i -~
I I I I
The Lame Monkey Manifesto January 4 1988
Logic Logic Whos Got the Logic Jesus Was a Commie and Darwin Wasnt Talking About Hulk Hogan Doug Collins Lame Monkey Philosophy Reporter
Well now well now it seems weve upset some people God That Good Natured Ole Tyrant has made some people react-not think mind you but read Lets analyze those reshyactions for a minute One writer a very (parenthetical) and (dogmatic) person who signs himself The Prophet has attempted to answer our little riddle Proph babe before you-call these questions shallow and redundant you should do a little reshysearch Saint Augustine and Saint Thomas Aquinas had difficulty with this one and even they lost sight of the problemgetting caught in the same
the buck Throw in omnibenevolence and
you see that God cannot by the nature of omnibenevolence choose evil or allow evil to be chosen If he does then it is not through inability to reconcile free will and an absence of evil for God is able to do anything And there ladies and gents is where you lost sight of the little pea in my previous she~l game article
If God can do anything then He can reconcile paradox The logically impossible is not even difficult pi can equal three cocks will crow at moonshyrise and magic is loose in the world God can be omnipotent omnibenevoshylent and support Alabama if He so chooses because He has the power I cant understand it but then I cant understand nested infinities or 4th dimensional curves either How can He do it Ask him not I
So what do we do now Well we abandon logic and enter the realm of faith I have faith that God does not exists I cant prove it because if He
morass of scripture in which you does exist then all my logical relationshyfound yourself stuck It is impossible ships are merely a fraction of His within the structures of logic to rec- being You can believe what you want oncile an omnipotent omniscient to I am disappointed that no one omnibenevolent deity with the exis- caught the gimmick in my first article tence of evi Once again Ill point out Oh well you were probably too horrishythe fallacy of the free wiil argument fied by the prospect of a Godless uni-
First of all free will is itself incon- verse Speaking of which shall we sistent with omniscience and discuss Lonnie Rapers pathological omnipotence If ~~~~~~- dependence on God knows every- God the Father for thing then he hismoralandethi-knows what I am cal standards about to do and Gently now we has known sinee dont want to he said fiat lux frighten him (God spoke Latin Lon n ie yknow) There- sweetie athe-fore he knows if I ists was the cor-will choose good rect term Secular or evil If God is humanist is a omnipotent then Neo Dexter buzz he can cause me to word for anyone choose good or evil and in fact has who refuses to march in step Godshydone so Lose me on that one Well if less communists goes to far since I can do anything and I choose not to communism is a politico-economic act sntthat the same thing as acting system A system advocated by Jesus Haven-t I knowing the resul ts of inac- by the way at least as far as economics tion by not acting chosen -to those is concerned Jesus was not a results In other words can God pass capitalist
I saw Jesus go by the doorway of my lecture hall this morning He paused momentarily as if to explain Sorry cant stay Im late for My religious studies class
He was wearing a tie-dyed Grateful Dead shirt And carrying an art pad and some Middle Estern Civilization textbooks Iwanted to go running after him and ask him For his phone number just in case I ever got in troubleshyThen I smiled And realized how foolish that would be
Now lets turn to the argument probably more fitto survive the social itself I was willing to go along with environment Like the old story about you until you equated survival of the the bundle-of sticks one stick by itself fittest with might makes middot right can be broken combine the sticksand This is a common f they are stronger perversion of Dar- - Actually -I think win wherein sur- ~ ~ that this is both vival of the fittest lt self-evident and become survlVal of ~ _ ~ an endorsement of
Th ~ ltgt (r the strongest e ~ -~lt ~ __ rt~compassionate so-two are not the I ~ ~~ ~ I cieties If you be-same ~ffY lt -- J _ ~I lieve tha~ a socially
Hulk Hogan ~W ~~ f -5J ~f ~ responSIble SOCI-the man the myth r r r- _ tW~ ety is so unfitthat it the legend able to flrr=-~ ji~ ~ must be propped eat steel bars and r I up by God all you shit nails would 11 if are saying is that pop like a balloon if since God is shoved suddenly I i strongest let His into even a rela- Just Another will prevail That is tively soft vacuum Godless Communist truly might mak-yetthere small weak and timid bacte- ing right You seem unable to accept ria which cope at ease Why Because that the universe may a cold and the bacteria are more fit to survive lonely place but just because you that environment Just so with ethical dont like it dont mean it aint so systems Wrap yourself in illusions Lonnie
If a system based on rights and a but dont pawn them off as reality concern for justice is more popular Some of us dont need God to keep us than a dog-eat-dog anarchy then it is warm at night
~AnnMK Patil Mozingo Contraception Kills
4 1988 The Lame J Manifesto
he Winter Weather Worrywart Checklist Lauralie Morton Lame Monkey Weather Correspondent
Well it seems that we are presently the victims of an excessively precipishytant winter season and it is apparent that we have some amateur worriers out there in the nooks and crannies of readerland Having had the unmitishygated delight of living out twentyshythree wjnters in this burgeoning meshytropolis I consider myself an expert in the field of professional weathershyworry If you follow the directions exactly as presented here I can assure you a successful survival of the terror this winter might bring
1 If ad verse conditions are preshydicted )mmediately rush out to the nearest grocery store and stock up on staples and non-perishables The cruel terrain of East Tenness~e
coupled with ice-covered roads could strand you for weeks on end How horrible to starve to death in your
own home just because you ignored your scout promise to be prepared Tomato soup grilled cheese sandshywich fixings and four kegs of beer are essential to a basic survival kit
2 Do not drive at all from Novemshyber 1st through April 15th If you must drive be sure to pump your brakes when going up hills My sisters husbands cousins doctor once told me that this gives good tracshytion For Gods sake slam on the brakes if you start to slide on snow or ice This will at least ensure your departure from this world in a genushyine blaze of glory
3 Be a good weather-watcher Know the difference between the jet stream and the blood stream Monitor temperature fluctuation~_ at fifteen minute intervals That harmless little raincloud out there could easily metashymorphose into a full-blown blizzard just because the temp drops a degree or two And just imagine your shame at being caught in the unawares
Theres No Place Like Colectors Choice
Theres No Place Like
MOVED TO NEW LOCATION -2104 Cutnbedand bull Next to -Davis-Kidd
GAMES bull COMICS ~ MINIATURES BASEBALL CARDS
_ MOVIE POSTERSmiddot STAR TREK
when all you had to do was call the local times and temperature number four times an hour
4 If you are at work or school when you spot that first flake leave immeshydiately It is helpfu1to clog Kingston Pike Cucumberland A venue and the interstate system with thousands of frightened commuters all at once The glut of traffic keeps the precipitation be it snow or ice from ever reaching the streets surface
5 Feel free to sled and frolic onyour neighborhood streets This will keep you from getting out in your car and sliding over anYsmall children~who might be sledding on your neighborshyhood streets You probably wont get hurt
Now that weve established a few precautions lets discuss how to best enjoy this weather Here are a few suggestions to cure that cabin fever
1 Watch MTV until your eyes glaze over The minute-by-minute intellecshytual challenges of music videos will provide you with hours of thrills and
chills 2 Do not read anything This is
imperative You already have to do enough reading as it is so dont let this pollutant leak into your recreashytional space
3 Urinate your middot name in a snowshybank (This is especially entertaining for females)
4 Indulge yourself in otherwise decadent luxury Take a bubble bath for two days or until the snow melts--- whichever comes first Stuff yourself on chocolate raisins and lisshyten to Windham Hill until you beshycome comatose
5 Teach yourself to armpit-fart Let It Snow Lust after Vanna White and Pat Sajak while giving yourself a pedicure Fake a British accent while ordering a pizza
Well I could go on with these entershytaining suggestions all day but youve got the basic idea In essence a snowstorm can be compared to sexshyas long as youre prepared you can
stop worrying and enjoy yourself
On September 13 1 ~86i Sherman Smith died of boredom
in his neighborhood Laundromat ) -
Too bad he didnt know about middot Harvey Washbangers the Laundromat and
Pub where the fun never stops
Open 9AM to 12 Midnight 7 days a week Free Dryers M-F 9AM to 12 Noon ~~
1 Alt
LAUNDROMAT
e -
2114 Cumberland Ave Ort the Strip
Dry U51
Service A
t I
t I - I
t t
The Lame Manifesto 4 1988 Page 12
Lame Monkey Classified Ads ITS NOT TOO LATE To Enter
FOR SALE
IN-NEED OF GROOVY TUNES for that hip occasion Brian and the Nightmares 212 Poplar Street JohnampOn City 1N 37604 Carries Dave Nichols Seal of Approval
AUDlO COLLAGE TREVOR Audio Collage Box 23061 Audio Collage Knoxville Audio Collage 1N Audio Collage 37933-1061
Audio Collage
WEARY OF TRENDY POLITICAL views Tired of seeing people who never seem to think beyond their noses Write Rocinante UT Box 16502 Knoxville TN 37996-4900
SUBSCRIBE TO THE LAME Mon-
ANNOUNCEMENTS
FRIENDS OF THE LAME Monkey announces fifth() meeting See ya Tuesday January 5 730 at Sam amp Andys back room Brilg drinking money
PLEASE SEND ~ SMALL envelope full of salt pepper or oatmeal to Ann Sweeney 74 Hoshylyrood Avenue Lowell MA 01852 Thanks
WORLD CARNIVORIAN Society Good health thru meat only diet Vegitarians are the devils agents Send $1 to Rev Dr Neen Fleshbisshycuit POB 8717 Knoxville TN 37996-4800
key Manifesto $1issue Back issues RA VEN RECORDS avail Plain brown wrapper POB A Czars selection of vintage rec-8763 Knoxville TN 37996-4800 ords-tapes-CDs Come and browse
EVEN IF YOURE A JERK Universal Printing can make your Resume look as if you had class and taste We specialize in making dweeb-bobs look great 19th Street behind taco hell
beforethe next musical revolution Located behind Walgreens on the Strip open after NOON
ONE MILLION TIBETAN MONKS can t all be wrong Send SASE to SL Products BP 3016-69392 LYON cedex middot03 France
~ bull bull bull WEDNESDAY bull bull bull bull bull bull bull bull bull bull - bull bull Famous Dollar-Night bull bull bull bullbull bull bull bull bull bull middot - bullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbull
SERVICES
ART amp ARCH STUDENTS Need slides of your work I have experience to do the job right Reasonable prices 573-3870
YOUR SOUL CLEANSED Quite disCreet lint-free service Reasonable rates By the inventor of the SoulBrushtrade pat pend Dont skimp about your ever-lasting life Rev Dr NeenFleshbiscuit PO Box 8717 Knoxville TN 37996-4800
CLASSIFIED ADS are free of charge on a first come first served basis The Lame Monkey is not reponsible for any typographical or content errors NO ADS accepted by phone Mail to Lame Monkey PO Box 8763 Knoxville TN 37996-4800
CATALOGUE X COULEURS GRATUITS
ROMANmiddotPHOTOS - REVUES - LlVRES -PRODUITSmiddot FILMS-LiNGERI X DE NOTRE PRODUCTION
VOTRE PREMIER CADEAU
64 Bd Voltairemiddot 75011 Paris ~~~
The Lame Mon WIN-A-OAT with
Johnny Maj Sweepstakes
K SEE PAGE 9 -
YOU CAN shy DO IT WITH
a powerful placebo called
The Lame Monkey Manifesto
A pinch in her food or drink 8IId get ready lor instlln lovmaking Shea be tuned on fa hour of wild p8S$ion and IOlsoflovin Works so tast you should take some yourself No prescription Extra Sbong and safe to UN Speas fennul works on bot) sexes
STAY HARD (or soft) and CONTROL YOURSELF with BRAIN PRE WASHING~
A simple t8chnique Ihat any can learn in minutes Simply read the Lcnc Monkey oullood and passion is yoors
The Lame Monkey Manifesto -Your Monkey in the Middleshy
PO Box 8763 Knox ville TN 37996-4800 Subsaiptions $100 in plain brONn
wrapper adults only
The Lame Monkey Manifesto 100 Return Advertiser Rate means they found something in the Monkey Lock into Knoxvills most eclectic readership CALL 637-4840 today
bull bullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbull bull bull bull FRIDAY bull bull bull bull bull bull bull bull bull bull bull $2 Pitchers bull bull bull bull bull bull 4-7 pm bull bull bull bull bull bull bull bull ~
-
-Knoxvilles Most Infamous Party Spot
~ _4 =~~~==~=z======~==~==================l-
i -~
I I I I
The Lame Monkey Manifesto January 4 1988
Logic Logic Whos Got the Logic Jesus Was a Commie and Darwin Wasnt Talking About Hulk Hogan Doug Collins Lame Monkey Philosophy Reporter
Well now well now it seems weve upset some people God That Good Natured Ole Tyrant has made some people react-not think mind you but read Lets analyze those reshyactions for a minute One writer a very (parenthetical) and (dogmatic) person who signs himself The Prophet has attempted to answer our little riddle Proph babe before you-call these questions shallow and redundant you should do a little reshysearch Saint Augustine and Saint Thomas Aquinas had difficulty with this one and even they lost sight of the problemgetting caught in the same
the buck Throw in omnibenevolence and
you see that God cannot by the nature of omnibenevolence choose evil or allow evil to be chosen If he does then it is not through inability to reconcile free will and an absence of evil for God is able to do anything And there ladies and gents is where you lost sight of the little pea in my previous she~l game article
If God can do anything then He can reconcile paradox The logically impossible is not even difficult pi can equal three cocks will crow at moonshyrise and magic is loose in the world God can be omnipotent omnibenevoshylent and support Alabama if He so chooses because He has the power I cant understand it but then I cant understand nested infinities or 4th dimensional curves either How can He do it Ask him not I
So what do we do now Well we abandon logic and enter the realm of faith I have faith that God does not exists I cant prove it because if He
morass of scripture in which you does exist then all my logical relationshyfound yourself stuck It is impossible ships are merely a fraction of His within the structures of logic to rec- being You can believe what you want oncile an omnipotent omniscient to I am disappointed that no one omnibenevolent deity with the exis- caught the gimmick in my first article tence of evi Once again Ill point out Oh well you were probably too horrishythe fallacy of the free wiil argument fied by the prospect of a Godless uni-
First of all free will is itself incon- verse Speaking of which shall we sistent with omniscience and discuss Lonnie Rapers pathological omnipotence If ~~~~~~- dependence on God knows every- God the Father for thing then he hismoralandethi-knows what I am cal standards about to do and Gently now we has known sinee dont want to he said fiat lux frighten him (God spoke Latin Lon n ie yknow) There- sweetie athe-fore he knows if I ists was the cor-will choose good rect term Secular or evil If God is humanist is a omnipotent then Neo Dexter buzz he can cause me to word for anyone choose good or evil and in fact has who refuses to march in step Godshydone so Lose me on that one Well if less communists goes to far since I can do anything and I choose not to communism is a politico-economic act sntthat the same thing as acting system A system advocated by Jesus Haven-t I knowing the resul ts of inac- by the way at least as far as economics tion by not acting chosen -to those is concerned Jesus was not a results In other words can God pass capitalist
I saw Jesus go by the doorway of my lecture hall this morning He paused momentarily as if to explain Sorry cant stay Im late for My religious studies class
He was wearing a tie-dyed Grateful Dead shirt And carrying an art pad and some Middle Estern Civilization textbooks Iwanted to go running after him and ask him For his phone number just in case I ever got in troubleshyThen I smiled And realized how foolish that would be
Now lets turn to the argument probably more fitto survive the social itself I was willing to go along with environment Like the old story about you until you equated survival of the the bundle-of sticks one stick by itself fittest with might makes middot right can be broken combine the sticksand This is a common f they are stronger perversion of Dar- - Actually -I think win wherein sur- ~ ~ that this is both vival of the fittest lt self-evident and become survlVal of ~ _ ~ an endorsement of
Th ~ ltgt (r the strongest e ~ -~lt ~ __ rt~compassionate so-two are not the I ~ ~~ ~ I cieties If you be-same ~ffY lt -- J _ ~I lieve tha~ a socially
Hulk Hogan ~W ~~ f -5J ~f ~ responSIble SOCI-the man the myth r r r- _ tW~ ety is so unfitthat it the legend able to flrr=-~ ji~ ~ must be propped eat steel bars and r I up by God all you shit nails would 11 if are saying is that pop like a balloon if since God is shoved suddenly I i strongest let His into even a rela- Just Another will prevail That is tively soft vacuum Godless Communist truly might mak-yetthere small weak and timid bacte- ing right You seem unable to accept ria which cope at ease Why Because that the universe may a cold and the bacteria are more fit to survive lonely place but just because you that environment Just so with ethical dont like it dont mean it aint so systems Wrap yourself in illusions Lonnie
If a system based on rights and a but dont pawn them off as reality concern for justice is more popular Some of us dont need God to keep us than a dog-eat-dog anarchy then it is warm at night
~AnnMK Patil Mozingo Contraception Kills
4 1988 The Lame J Manifesto
he Winter Weather Worrywart Checklist Lauralie Morton Lame Monkey Weather Correspondent
Well it seems that we are presently the victims of an excessively precipishytant winter season and it is apparent that we have some amateur worriers out there in the nooks and crannies of readerland Having had the unmitishygated delight of living out twentyshythree wjnters in this burgeoning meshytropolis I consider myself an expert in the field of professional weathershyworry If you follow the directions exactly as presented here I can assure you a successful survival of the terror this winter might bring
1 If ad verse conditions are preshydicted )mmediately rush out to the nearest grocery store and stock up on staples and non-perishables The cruel terrain of East Tenness~e
coupled with ice-covered roads could strand you for weeks on end How horrible to starve to death in your
own home just because you ignored your scout promise to be prepared Tomato soup grilled cheese sandshywich fixings and four kegs of beer are essential to a basic survival kit
2 Do not drive at all from Novemshyber 1st through April 15th If you must drive be sure to pump your brakes when going up hills My sisters husbands cousins doctor once told me that this gives good tracshytion For Gods sake slam on the brakes if you start to slide on snow or ice This will at least ensure your departure from this world in a genushyine blaze of glory
3 Be a good weather-watcher Know the difference between the jet stream and the blood stream Monitor temperature fluctuation~_ at fifteen minute intervals That harmless little raincloud out there could easily metashymorphose into a full-blown blizzard just because the temp drops a degree or two And just imagine your shame at being caught in the unawares
Theres No Place Like Colectors Choice
Theres No Place Like
MOVED TO NEW LOCATION -2104 Cutnbedand bull Next to -Davis-Kidd
GAMES bull COMICS ~ MINIATURES BASEBALL CARDS
_ MOVIE POSTERSmiddot STAR TREK
when all you had to do was call the local times and temperature number four times an hour
4 If you are at work or school when you spot that first flake leave immeshydiately It is helpfu1to clog Kingston Pike Cucumberland A venue and the interstate system with thousands of frightened commuters all at once The glut of traffic keeps the precipitation be it snow or ice from ever reaching the streets surface
5 Feel free to sled and frolic onyour neighborhood streets This will keep you from getting out in your car and sliding over anYsmall children~who might be sledding on your neighborshyhood streets You probably wont get hurt
Now that weve established a few precautions lets discuss how to best enjoy this weather Here are a few suggestions to cure that cabin fever
1 Watch MTV until your eyes glaze over The minute-by-minute intellecshytual challenges of music videos will provide you with hours of thrills and
chills 2 Do not read anything This is
imperative You already have to do enough reading as it is so dont let this pollutant leak into your recreashytional space
3 Urinate your middot name in a snowshybank (This is especially entertaining for females)
4 Indulge yourself in otherwise decadent luxury Take a bubble bath for two days or until the snow melts--- whichever comes first Stuff yourself on chocolate raisins and lisshyten to Windham Hill until you beshycome comatose
5 Teach yourself to armpit-fart Let It Snow Lust after Vanna White and Pat Sajak while giving yourself a pedicure Fake a British accent while ordering a pizza
Well I could go on with these entershytaining suggestions all day but youve got the basic idea In essence a snowstorm can be compared to sexshyas long as youre prepared you can
stop worrying and enjoy yourself
On September 13 1 ~86i Sherman Smith died of boredom
in his neighborhood Laundromat ) -
Too bad he didnt know about middot Harvey Washbangers the Laundromat and
Pub where the fun never stops
Open 9AM to 12 Midnight 7 days a week Free Dryers M-F 9AM to 12 Noon ~~
1 Alt
LAUNDROMAT
e -
2114 Cumberland Ave Ort the Strip
Dry U51
Service A
t I
t I - I
t t
The Lame Manifesto 4 1988 Page 12
Lame Monkey Classified Ads ITS NOT TOO LATE To Enter
FOR SALE
IN-NEED OF GROOVY TUNES for that hip occasion Brian and the Nightmares 212 Poplar Street JohnampOn City 1N 37604 Carries Dave Nichols Seal of Approval
AUDlO COLLAGE TREVOR Audio Collage Box 23061 Audio Collage Knoxville Audio Collage 1N Audio Collage 37933-1061
Audio Collage
WEARY OF TRENDY POLITICAL views Tired of seeing people who never seem to think beyond their noses Write Rocinante UT Box 16502 Knoxville TN 37996-4900
SUBSCRIBE TO THE LAME Mon-
ANNOUNCEMENTS
FRIENDS OF THE LAME Monkey announces fifth() meeting See ya Tuesday January 5 730 at Sam amp Andys back room Brilg drinking money
PLEASE SEND ~ SMALL envelope full of salt pepper or oatmeal to Ann Sweeney 74 Hoshylyrood Avenue Lowell MA 01852 Thanks
WORLD CARNIVORIAN Society Good health thru meat only diet Vegitarians are the devils agents Send $1 to Rev Dr Neen Fleshbisshycuit POB 8717 Knoxville TN 37996-4800
key Manifesto $1issue Back issues RA VEN RECORDS avail Plain brown wrapper POB A Czars selection of vintage rec-8763 Knoxville TN 37996-4800 ords-tapes-CDs Come and browse
EVEN IF YOURE A JERK Universal Printing can make your Resume look as if you had class and taste We specialize in making dweeb-bobs look great 19th Street behind taco hell
beforethe next musical revolution Located behind Walgreens on the Strip open after NOON
ONE MILLION TIBETAN MONKS can t all be wrong Send SASE to SL Products BP 3016-69392 LYON cedex middot03 France
~ bull bull bull WEDNESDAY bull bull bull bull bull bull bull bull bull bull - bull bull Famous Dollar-Night bull bull bull bullbull bull bull bull bull bull middot - bullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbull
SERVICES
ART amp ARCH STUDENTS Need slides of your work I have experience to do the job right Reasonable prices 573-3870
YOUR SOUL CLEANSED Quite disCreet lint-free service Reasonable rates By the inventor of the SoulBrushtrade pat pend Dont skimp about your ever-lasting life Rev Dr NeenFleshbiscuit PO Box 8717 Knoxville TN 37996-4800
CLASSIFIED ADS are free of charge on a first come first served basis The Lame Monkey is not reponsible for any typographical or content errors NO ADS accepted by phone Mail to Lame Monkey PO Box 8763 Knoxville TN 37996-4800
CATALOGUE X COULEURS GRATUITS
ROMANmiddotPHOTOS - REVUES - LlVRES -PRODUITSmiddot FILMS-LiNGERI X DE NOTRE PRODUCTION
VOTRE PREMIER CADEAU
64 Bd Voltairemiddot 75011 Paris ~~~
The Lame Mon WIN-A-OAT with
Johnny Maj Sweepstakes
K SEE PAGE 9 -
YOU CAN shy DO IT WITH
a powerful placebo called
The Lame Monkey Manifesto
A pinch in her food or drink 8IId get ready lor instlln lovmaking Shea be tuned on fa hour of wild p8S$ion and IOlsoflovin Works so tast you should take some yourself No prescription Extra Sbong and safe to UN Speas fennul works on bot) sexes
STAY HARD (or soft) and CONTROL YOURSELF with BRAIN PRE WASHING~
A simple t8chnique Ihat any can learn in minutes Simply read the Lcnc Monkey oullood and passion is yoors
The Lame Monkey Manifesto -Your Monkey in the Middleshy
PO Box 8763 Knox ville TN 37996-4800 Subsaiptions $100 in plain brONn
wrapper adults only
The Lame Monkey Manifesto 100 Return Advertiser Rate means they found something in the Monkey Lock into Knoxvills most eclectic readership CALL 637-4840 today
bull bullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbull bull bull bull FRIDAY bull bull bull bull bull bull bull bull bull bull bull $2 Pitchers bull bull bull bull bull bull 4-7 pm bull bull bull bull bull bull bull bull ~
-
-Knoxvilles Most Infamous Party Spot
~ _4 =~~~==~=z======~==~==================l-
4 1988 The Lame J Manifesto
he Winter Weather Worrywart Checklist Lauralie Morton Lame Monkey Weather Correspondent
Well it seems that we are presently the victims of an excessively precipishytant winter season and it is apparent that we have some amateur worriers out there in the nooks and crannies of readerland Having had the unmitishygated delight of living out twentyshythree wjnters in this burgeoning meshytropolis I consider myself an expert in the field of professional weathershyworry If you follow the directions exactly as presented here I can assure you a successful survival of the terror this winter might bring
1 If ad verse conditions are preshydicted )mmediately rush out to the nearest grocery store and stock up on staples and non-perishables The cruel terrain of East Tenness~e
coupled with ice-covered roads could strand you for weeks on end How horrible to starve to death in your
own home just because you ignored your scout promise to be prepared Tomato soup grilled cheese sandshywich fixings and four kegs of beer are essential to a basic survival kit
2 Do not drive at all from Novemshyber 1st through April 15th If you must drive be sure to pump your brakes when going up hills My sisters husbands cousins doctor once told me that this gives good tracshytion For Gods sake slam on the brakes if you start to slide on snow or ice This will at least ensure your departure from this world in a genushyine blaze of glory
3 Be a good weather-watcher Know the difference between the jet stream and the blood stream Monitor temperature fluctuation~_ at fifteen minute intervals That harmless little raincloud out there could easily metashymorphose into a full-blown blizzard just because the temp drops a degree or two And just imagine your shame at being caught in the unawares
Theres No Place Like Colectors Choice
Theres No Place Like
MOVED TO NEW LOCATION -2104 Cutnbedand bull Next to -Davis-Kidd
GAMES bull COMICS ~ MINIATURES BASEBALL CARDS
_ MOVIE POSTERSmiddot STAR TREK
when all you had to do was call the local times and temperature number four times an hour
4 If you are at work or school when you spot that first flake leave immeshydiately It is helpfu1to clog Kingston Pike Cucumberland A venue and the interstate system with thousands of frightened commuters all at once The glut of traffic keeps the precipitation be it snow or ice from ever reaching the streets surface
5 Feel free to sled and frolic onyour neighborhood streets This will keep you from getting out in your car and sliding over anYsmall children~who might be sledding on your neighborshyhood streets You probably wont get hurt
Now that weve established a few precautions lets discuss how to best enjoy this weather Here are a few suggestions to cure that cabin fever
1 Watch MTV until your eyes glaze over The minute-by-minute intellecshytual challenges of music videos will provide you with hours of thrills and
chills 2 Do not read anything This is
imperative You already have to do enough reading as it is so dont let this pollutant leak into your recreashytional space
3 Urinate your middot name in a snowshybank (This is especially entertaining for females)
4 Indulge yourself in otherwise decadent luxury Take a bubble bath for two days or until the snow melts--- whichever comes first Stuff yourself on chocolate raisins and lisshyten to Windham Hill until you beshycome comatose
5 Teach yourself to armpit-fart Let It Snow Lust after Vanna White and Pat Sajak while giving yourself a pedicure Fake a British accent while ordering a pizza
Well I could go on with these entershytaining suggestions all day but youve got the basic idea In essence a snowstorm can be compared to sexshyas long as youre prepared you can
stop worrying and enjoy yourself
On September 13 1 ~86i Sherman Smith died of boredom
in his neighborhood Laundromat ) -
Too bad he didnt know about middot Harvey Washbangers the Laundromat and
Pub where the fun never stops
Open 9AM to 12 Midnight 7 days a week Free Dryers M-F 9AM to 12 Noon ~~
1 Alt
LAUNDROMAT
e -
2114 Cumberland Ave Ort the Strip
Dry U51
Service A
t I
t I - I
t t
The Lame Manifesto 4 1988 Page 12
Lame Monkey Classified Ads ITS NOT TOO LATE To Enter
FOR SALE
IN-NEED OF GROOVY TUNES for that hip occasion Brian and the Nightmares 212 Poplar Street JohnampOn City 1N 37604 Carries Dave Nichols Seal of Approval
AUDlO COLLAGE TREVOR Audio Collage Box 23061 Audio Collage Knoxville Audio Collage 1N Audio Collage 37933-1061
Audio Collage
WEARY OF TRENDY POLITICAL views Tired of seeing people who never seem to think beyond their noses Write Rocinante UT Box 16502 Knoxville TN 37996-4900
SUBSCRIBE TO THE LAME Mon-
ANNOUNCEMENTS
FRIENDS OF THE LAME Monkey announces fifth() meeting See ya Tuesday January 5 730 at Sam amp Andys back room Brilg drinking money
PLEASE SEND ~ SMALL envelope full of salt pepper or oatmeal to Ann Sweeney 74 Hoshylyrood Avenue Lowell MA 01852 Thanks
WORLD CARNIVORIAN Society Good health thru meat only diet Vegitarians are the devils agents Send $1 to Rev Dr Neen Fleshbisshycuit POB 8717 Knoxville TN 37996-4800
key Manifesto $1issue Back issues RA VEN RECORDS avail Plain brown wrapper POB A Czars selection of vintage rec-8763 Knoxville TN 37996-4800 ords-tapes-CDs Come and browse
EVEN IF YOURE A JERK Universal Printing can make your Resume look as if you had class and taste We specialize in making dweeb-bobs look great 19th Street behind taco hell
beforethe next musical revolution Located behind Walgreens on the Strip open after NOON
ONE MILLION TIBETAN MONKS can t all be wrong Send SASE to SL Products BP 3016-69392 LYON cedex middot03 France
~ bull bull bull WEDNESDAY bull bull bull bull bull bull bull bull bull bull - bull bull Famous Dollar-Night bull bull bull bullbull bull bull bull bull bull middot - bullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbull
SERVICES
ART amp ARCH STUDENTS Need slides of your work I have experience to do the job right Reasonable prices 573-3870
YOUR SOUL CLEANSED Quite disCreet lint-free service Reasonable rates By the inventor of the SoulBrushtrade pat pend Dont skimp about your ever-lasting life Rev Dr NeenFleshbiscuit PO Box 8717 Knoxville TN 37996-4800
CLASSIFIED ADS are free of charge on a first come first served basis The Lame Monkey is not reponsible for any typographical or content errors NO ADS accepted by phone Mail to Lame Monkey PO Box 8763 Knoxville TN 37996-4800
CATALOGUE X COULEURS GRATUITS
ROMANmiddotPHOTOS - REVUES - LlVRES -PRODUITSmiddot FILMS-LiNGERI X DE NOTRE PRODUCTION
VOTRE PREMIER CADEAU
64 Bd Voltairemiddot 75011 Paris ~~~
The Lame Mon WIN-A-OAT with
Johnny Maj Sweepstakes
K SEE PAGE 9 -
YOU CAN shy DO IT WITH
a powerful placebo called
The Lame Monkey Manifesto
A pinch in her food or drink 8IId get ready lor instlln lovmaking Shea be tuned on fa hour of wild p8S$ion and IOlsoflovin Works so tast you should take some yourself No prescription Extra Sbong and safe to UN Speas fennul works on bot) sexes
STAY HARD (or soft) and CONTROL YOURSELF with BRAIN PRE WASHING~
A simple t8chnique Ihat any can learn in minutes Simply read the Lcnc Monkey oullood and passion is yoors
The Lame Monkey Manifesto -Your Monkey in the Middleshy
PO Box 8763 Knox ville TN 37996-4800 Subsaiptions $100 in plain brONn
wrapper adults only
The Lame Monkey Manifesto 100 Return Advertiser Rate means they found something in the Monkey Lock into Knoxvills most eclectic readership CALL 637-4840 today
bull bullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbull bull bull bull FRIDAY bull bull bull bull bull bull bull bull bull bull bull $2 Pitchers bull bull bull bull bull bull 4-7 pm bull bull bull bull bull bull bull bull ~
-
-Knoxvilles Most Infamous Party Spot
~ _4 =~~~==~=z======~==~==================l-
t I
t I - I
t t
The Lame Manifesto 4 1988 Page 12
Lame Monkey Classified Ads ITS NOT TOO LATE To Enter
FOR SALE
IN-NEED OF GROOVY TUNES for that hip occasion Brian and the Nightmares 212 Poplar Street JohnampOn City 1N 37604 Carries Dave Nichols Seal of Approval
AUDlO COLLAGE TREVOR Audio Collage Box 23061 Audio Collage Knoxville Audio Collage 1N Audio Collage 37933-1061
Audio Collage
WEARY OF TRENDY POLITICAL views Tired of seeing people who never seem to think beyond their noses Write Rocinante UT Box 16502 Knoxville TN 37996-4900
SUBSCRIBE TO THE LAME Mon-
ANNOUNCEMENTS
FRIENDS OF THE LAME Monkey announces fifth() meeting See ya Tuesday January 5 730 at Sam amp Andys back room Brilg drinking money
PLEASE SEND ~ SMALL envelope full of salt pepper or oatmeal to Ann Sweeney 74 Hoshylyrood Avenue Lowell MA 01852 Thanks
WORLD CARNIVORIAN Society Good health thru meat only diet Vegitarians are the devils agents Send $1 to Rev Dr Neen Fleshbisshycuit POB 8717 Knoxville TN 37996-4800
key Manifesto $1issue Back issues RA VEN RECORDS avail Plain brown wrapper POB A Czars selection of vintage rec-8763 Knoxville TN 37996-4800 ords-tapes-CDs Come and browse
EVEN IF YOURE A JERK Universal Printing can make your Resume look as if you had class and taste We specialize in making dweeb-bobs look great 19th Street behind taco hell
beforethe next musical revolution Located behind Walgreens on the Strip open after NOON
ONE MILLION TIBETAN MONKS can t all be wrong Send SASE to SL Products BP 3016-69392 LYON cedex middot03 France
~ bull bull bull WEDNESDAY bull bull bull bull bull bull bull bull bull bull - bull bull Famous Dollar-Night bull bull bull bullbull bull bull bull bull bull middot - bullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbullbull
SERVICES
ART amp ARCH STUDENTS Need slides of your work I have experience to do the job right Reasonable prices 573-3870
YOUR SOUL CLEANSED Quite disCreet lint-free service Reasonable rates By the inventor of the SoulBrushtrade pat pend Dont skimp about your ever-lasting life Rev Dr NeenFleshbiscuit PO Box 8717 Knoxville TN 37996-4800
CLASSIFIED ADS are free of charge on a first come first served basis The Lame Monkey is not reponsible for any typographical or content errors NO ADS accepted by phone Mail to Lame Monkey PO Box 8763 Knoxville TN 37996-4800
CATALOGUE X COULEURS GRATUITS
ROMANmiddotPHOTOS - REVUES - LlVRES -PRODUITSmiddot FILMS-LiNGERI X DE NOTRE PRODUCTION
VOTRE PREMIER CADEAU
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