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CommunityDevelopmentDepartment 1
TheEducatedParent
CommunityDevelopmentDepartment 2
FORWARD
TABLEOFCONTENTS
THEEDUCATEDPARENT
INTRODUCTION
WHATPARENTSNEEDTOKNOW
BASICSOCCEREQUIPMENTFORTHEPARENT
BEASUPPORTIVESOCCERPARENT
SENDINGOFFOFFENSIVESFORPARENTS
HOWTOBECOMEANEDUCATEDPARENT
YOURCHILD’SNEEDS
WHATTOEXPECT
PRACTICESESSIONS
THESMALLSIDEDGAME
TEACHINGSPORTSMANSHIP
Page10
Page10
Page9
Page8
Page7
Page7
Page6
Page5
Page3
Page4
Page4
Page3
GAMEDAY
Page11
HOWTODEALWITHTHECOACH
Page12
CONFLICTINGAGENDAS
THEOFFICAL
Page13
Page13
RESOURCESANDCREDITS
Page14
CommunityDevelopmentDepartment 3
BCSoccerstrivestoprovideahealthyandactivelifestylethroughitsGrassrootsprogramming.TheGrassrootsprogrammingfocusesonfunandavoidsemphasizinganyformofwinning.Everychildisguaranteedplayingtimeandthegameistaughtwhileplayersdevelopinafunandenjoyableatmosphere.BCSoccerisrankedthirdinparticipationnumbersinCanada.ItisourgoaltoincreaseparticipationlevelsbyretainingplayersanddrivingadditionalplayersintosoccerviatheGrassrootsProgramming.TheBCSoccermissionandvisionare;Mission:"DevelopingthegamebyinspiringBritishColumbianstolifelongactive,inclusiveandteamplay."Vision:"Canada'sforemostintegratedsoccerdevelopmentsystembuiltuponclub,school,varsityandprofessionalteamexcellence."Ouroutcomes:ActivePlay:(promotinglifelongphysicalactivityandhealthylivingbyBritishColumbians)InclusivePlay:(promotingrespectandharmonythroughaccesstosoccerbyboysandgirls,menandwomen,andallpeopleregardlessororigin,age,andwalkoflike)TeamPlay:(promotingcollaboration,cooperation,andcoordinationinpursuitofexcellenceinsoccerandallaspectsoflife)
FORWARD
CommunityDevelopmentDepartment 4
TheEducatedParentdocumenthasbeendesignedtoassistparentssupporttheirchildren’sneedsinthedevelopmentinthegame.ASmallSidedGameisanygameplayedwithlessthanelevenplayersperside.Eleven‐a‐sidesoccerisanadultgamedevisedbyandforadultstoenjoy. SmallSidedGamesaredesignedanddevelopedtocreateandprovideguidancetoparentswhohavechildrenplayingthegameofsoccer.Itistosupplyparentstheknowledgethatwillallowtheplayerstogrowwithoutplacingunnecessarylimitationsonthechildren.InBritishColumbia,Under5toandincludingUnder12,playSmallSidedGames.Ok,youhavesignedyourchildupforsoccer!Nowwhatdoyoudo?
1. Youknowlittletonothingaboutthegame.
2. Youknowit’sthemostpopularsportbyparticipationnumbersandyouknowkidsloveplaying.
3. Youknowthatthekidsareaskedtokickaroundball.
Themostimportantthingparentsneedtoknowisthatsoccerisaboutchildrenhavingfun!
It’sSimple–YourChildrenLOVESoccerbecauseitisFUN!One–fromaveryearlyagebabiesplaywithsoftroundballs.Whetheritlookslikeasoccerball,avolleyballorabasketball,itisroundanditrolls.ThisisFUN.Two‐Soccerisjustthat,playingwithaballthatrolls.Theexceptioniswehaveteammatesandwehaveafewsimplerules.ThisisFUN.Three‐Rulesareverybasic:Theballmustbesharedwithyourteammates
WHATPARENTSNEEDTOKNOW
INTRODUCTION
THEEDUCATEDPARENT
CommunityDevelopmentDepartment 5
TheballmustbekeptawayfromyouropponentsAllplayersmustrespecteachotherAllplayershavetheopportunitytoplaywiththeballEveryonehasFUNAcomfortablelawnchairismandatory–itisimportantthatyouhaveacomfortablelawnchairbecauseyouaregoingtobespendingthewholegamesittinginthatchairwatchingyourchildhaveFUN!Appropriateclothing–inVancouver,theLowerMainlandandontheIslandyouneedaraincoat!IntheNorthandtheInterioryouneedsunblockandloadsofdrinkingwater!InBritishColumbiayouwillbewatchingthebeautifulgameinthesun,therain,theheatandthecold,butyouwillhaveFUN!Fromthesocialside,youneedtomixwellwithothersandbewillingtosupportthecoach.Thenfinally,relaxandgetreadyforFUN!OK,soyourchildisa“player”howcanyoubeasupportivesoccerparent?Childrenliketobeencouraged.Encourageandsupportyourchild.Whethertheyhavehadsuccessduringtheirgameorwhethertheydidnot,regardlessofthelevelofskillortimeonthefield,supportyourchild.Adviseyourchildoftheimportanceofrespectforcoachesthroughinteractivediscussionswiththem.Advisethemofthecriticalnatureofcontributingtotheteamanditsoverallsuccess.Workinarolemodelformat;letthemseethewholepictureandsupportallprogramsandallplayers.Leavethecoachingtothecoachesanddonotcriticizethecoach.Avoidaddingpressureonchildrenregardingplayingtimeandperformance.Whydochildrenchoosesoccer?
BEASUPPORTIVESOCCERPARENT
BASICSOCCEREQUIPMENTFORTHEPARENT
CommunityDevelopmentDepartment 6
• Tohavelotsoffun
• Tomakenewfriends
• Toretaincurrentfriendships
• Tolearnasport
• Togetbetter
• Toincreaseselfesteem
• Towearthekit
• TobepartofateamSomeGuidelinesforMomsandDads
CheerandencourageRelaxandletthekidsplayIfyouyelldirectionsyouwillcreateuncomfortabledistractionsRemember,yousignedthemuptohaveFUNLivewithinyourchild’sexpectationsHaveopendiscussionswiththeCoaches Whatwouldmakemychildquit?Parents’criticismandyellingNotgettingsufficientplayingtimeEmphasisonwinningPoorcommunication FearofmakingmistakesBoringtrainingsessionsPoorcoaching
CommunityDevelopmentDepartment 7
Livingapastdreamparentswhocontinuallylivepersonalachievementsthroughtheirchildrenhavenotreleasedtheirchildtothegame.OverconcernedIfaparenttendstosharethecreditwhenthechildhasdonewell,thenpotentially,thisparentwouldbeaconcernastheywouldseethemselvesasdoingpoorlywhenthechilddoesnotdowell.Offeringtoomuchadvice–whenaparentiscontinuallycoachingtheirchildwhenthechildprobablyknowsmoreaboutthegamethantheparentdoes,theyhavenotreleasedtheinneryouthathlete.ItsjustagameAparentshouldtakenote,thatiftheyfindthemselvesnervousbeforeachild’sgame,iftheyhavedifficultyacceptingaloss,consistentlyseekingpointsofcorrectionorverballyabusingtheofficials,youaretakingthegametooseriously–Itsjustagame,thekidsarehavingFUN!RELAX
Ok,sohowdoyoubecomeanEducatedParent?Askyourchildwhytheywanttoplaysoccer!WhydoYOUwanttoplaysoccer?WhatisfunaboutsoccerforYOU?WhatdoYOUliketohearfromMEbefore,duringandafterYOURGAMES?HowcanIhelpYOUtoprepareforYOURgame?HowcanIassistYOUtobecomethebestplayerYOUcanbe?TellTHEMthatYOUareproudofTHEM
SENDINGOFFOFFENSIVESFORPARENTS
HOWTOBECOMEANEDUCATEDPARENT
CommunityDevelopmentDepartment 8
Ok,soyouhaveaskedthequestions,nowlistentotheanswerstheyhavegivenyou.Understandtheiranswersandrespectthemregardlesswhethertheyaretheanswersyouwantedtohear.Nowyouareinapositiontomouldyoursupporttomeettheirexpresseddesiresandneeds.Assistthemtomaketheirdreamscometrue.Thendoaselftest,andposethequestiontoyourself–“WhatcanIdotoassistmychildinbeingsuccessfulinmeetingtheirgoalsandaspirationsforsoccerparticipation?”
EmotionalNeedsofYouthPlayersChildrenhavefourbasicemotionalneedsinorganizedsports:Toplaysoccerwithnopressureimposedbyparents.Wearechildren,childrenmakemistakes,treatuslikechildrenandhelpuscorrectourmistakes.Seeingadultrolemodelsinactionensuresparticipationisfun.ToplaybecauseIlovethegame,notbecausemaybeonedayImaybeaprofessionalplayerorpossiblysecureascholarshipthroughsoccer.BeinganeducatedparentRegardlessofyourchild’sdegreeofsuccessorlevelofskillorlackof,youmustencourageyourchild.Inthestudentathlete’slife,encouragingparticipationinacrosssectionofsportsandactivitieswhileplacingacademicsfirstandensuringabalance.Emphasizeenjoymentofdevelopment,oflearningnewskills,meetingnewfriendsandalwayshavingFUN!Leavecoachtocoachandavoidplacingtoomuchpressureonyourchildaboutplayingtimeandtheirperformance.Rememberchildrenwillalwayslooktothesidelineforrecognition.Respondbysmiling,givingthethumbsup,andactingresponsibly.Youaretheirrolemodel.
YOURCHILD’SNEEDS
CommunityDevelopmentDepartment 9
Thereisagreatvarianceinthephysicalandemotionaldevelopmentofchildrenduetoage,genderandmaturity.Socceris“thekid’sgameforallkids”Thiswillmeanthattherewillbealltypesofkidsplayingtogether.InourProvincemostteamsandclubsarebasedonvolunteerdirectedprograms.Theyareconductedandcontrolledbyparentswhofilltherolesofcoach,administrator,boardmemberorpresident.Looselyspeaking,thesepeoplewillonlybeinvolvedforonlyafewyearswhiletheirownchildrenareparticipating.90%ofvolunteerdirectedyouthsportsarecoachedbyparentswithachildontheteam.WomencoachesinourProvinceadduptoonly10%oftheUnder6toUnder13agegroups.Lessthan10%ofthevolunteercoachesintheProvincehaveanytypeofcoachingcertificationorformalsoccereducation.Youngplayerscryimmediatelywhensomethingishurt.Somecryevenwhensomethingisnothurt.Somebodywillcomeoffthefieldwiththeneedtovisitthewashroom.Anyexternalattraction(likeakite,flockofbirdsetc)willattract99%oftheplayers'attention.Someplayersaresoproudtobeaffiliatedwithateamorclub,theywillweartheiruniformtobed,toschool,toshoppingwithmomandeverywhereelse.Aplayeronthebenchwillforgettopayattentiontotheactiononthefieldandsometimeswillrequireareminderthatit’stheirturntoplay.Playerswillstillstopplayingandlaughiftherefereegetshitinthebuttwiththeballduringagame–theyarenotplayingtowin,theyareplayingtohavefun.Ifyoudrivesomeoneelse’schildtopracticeorthegame,heorshemaynotremembertolookforyouaftertheeventtogethome.Whatdoplayersneed?Asupportiveandenthusiasticparents.Eachplayermusthavehisorherownage‐appropriateball.
WHATTOEXPECT
CommunityDevelopmentDepartment 10
Shinpadsaremandatoryfromasafetypointofview,ourchildrenmustbesafe.Thesemustbewornforallpracticesandgames.Soccerbootsthatmatchwiththeplayingsurfaceareneeded.Iftheyareplayingindoors,indoorsoccershoesshouldbeworn.Awaterbottlewiththeplayersnamewrittenonitfulloffreshwatershouldbeavailabletoyourchildateachpracticeandgame.Atmostclubs,ifnotall,yourchildwillbesuppliedwithajersey,shortsandsocks.The“practice”sessionThewarm‐uppreparestheplayersfortraining;itsetsthetoneforafunfilledpractice.Thewarm‐uppreparesthemindandbodyfortheupcomingphysicalactivities.Debatecontinuesastowhetheryoungplayersneedtostretch,howeverwerecommendstretchingtohelpencouragegoodhabitsforthefuture.Thewarm‐upshouldbe“ball‐driven”usingaballencouragesplayerstousealotoftouchesandforcesdribbling,thiswilldeveloptechnicalskill.Activitiesmustbeappropriatefortheskillsandagesoftheplayers.Thecoachshouldconductanumberofshortandvaryingactivities;thesemayormaynotberepresentativeofasoccergame. Funactivitiescouldbeinformsof:
Individual Smallgroupings Largegroupings TeamThecoachwillrotateandchangeactivitiesregularlyaschildren’sattentionspanislimited.
PRACTICESESSIONS
CommunityDevelopmentDepartment 11
TheSmallSidedGameisdesignedtofosterplayerdevelopmentandfamiliarizethechildrenwiththedifferentchallengestheywillexperienceastheyprogresstothelargergameformat.Childrenwanttoplayandhavefunplaying.SmallSidedGames(e.g.3v3or4v4)tohelpstokeepeveryoneinvolvedandalldeveloping.Activitiesareorganizedtoprogressintocontrolledscrimmagesandthenintoanopenscrimmage.Remember,thekidssigneduptoplaysoccer!Thefollowingaspectswillteachandfosterthefundamentalsofgoodsportsmanship.Sharethesewithyourchildandotherinterestedpersons.
• Cheerandencourageallthechildren,eventhoseontheotherteam.Youwillbesurprisedwhatdifferenceitcanmakeonthesidelineswhenparentsmakeanefforttoapplaudagoodeffortorgoodplaynomatterwhomakesit.
• Talktoparentsoftheotherteam.Theyarenottheenemy;theyarethereforthechildren
too.
• Beaparent,notacoach:resisttheurgetocritique.Childrendreadparentspointingoutalltheirmistakes.Sometimesjustbeingthereshowsyourchildrenwhatbeingagoodparentisallabout.
• Leavethecoachingtothecoaches.Thisincludesmotivating,psychingyourchildfor
practice,aftergamecritiquing,settinggoals,requiringadditionaltraining,etc.
Thanktheofficials‐findafewmomentstothanktheofficialsfortheirhardworkafteragame,especiallyifyourchild'steamloses.Youwillberewardedwiththepleasureofseeingasurprisedsmileinreturn.
THESMALLSIDEDGAME
TEACHINGSPORTMANSHIP
CommunityDevelopmentDepartment 12
Keepsoccerinitsproperperspective:Soccershouldnotbelargerthanlifeforyou.Ifyourchild'sperformanceproducesstrongemotionsinyou,suppressthem.Rememberyourrelationshipwillcontinuewithyourchildrenlongaftertheiryouthsoccerdaysareover.Keepyourgoalsandneedsseparatefromyourchild'sexperience.Havefun:Thatiswhatthechildrenaretryingtodo!SidelineActionsChildrenwanttobeapplaudedfortheirsuccessChildrendonotwantadultsyellinginstructions.Thinkofthesoccerfieldasafunplaygroundandnotasachampionshiparena.Focusontheprocessofdevelopingwhileplayingandnottheresult.Parentsshouldrefrainfromconsumingalcoholatthefieldincludingthesocialdrinkinthecarparkpriortothegame.Intheeventofsuchactionshappening,theclub,teamorofficialhastherighttoasktheoffendertoleaveorberemovedfromthevenue.FriendsNOTEnemiesUnliketheadultgame,childrenplayingsoccerdonotseetheotherteamastheenemy.Unlessthishasbeenreinforcedbytheadults.Theotherteammayconsistoftheirschoolfriendsorneighborsinthecommunity.Thereisaverygoodpossibilitythattheymaybeplayingtogetherinyourbackyardafterthegamehavingahot‐chocolatewithyou.CheerANYandALLsuccessonthefield.ItDOESNOTmatterwhatplayerORwhatteam.Theyareallkidsandtheywantyoutheretoseethemplay.ChildrenDon’tCareWhoWinsDon’tkeepscore,thekidsdon’tregarditasimportant.Don’tcarewhowinsorloses,thechildrenarehavingfunandthatistheobjectiveNOTwinningorlosing.
GAMEDAY
CommunityDevelopmentDepartment 13
“Youthsportprovidesanidealavenueforearlyexposuretosetbacks;itallowssupportiveparentsandadultstoofferguidancewiththestakesnotnearlybeingashighastheywillbesometimeslateroninlife.”GoinghomeafterthegameDon’trewardwhatyouperceiveassuccess.Don’tpunishwhatyouperceiveasfailure.Don’tevaluateyourchild’sperformance,heorsheisplayingtohavefun.PlayingyouthsoccerisNOTatest;therearenofailuresonlydevelopingsoccerplayers.Meetyourchild’sneedsbyrememberingthequestionsyouaskedandtheanswersyougotastowhyyourchildisplayingsoccer.Questionsonthewayhomeafterthegame“Parentsneedtounderstandthattheperiodfollowingpracticeandcompetitionisacrucialtimeforayoungathlete.It’simportanttheybegiventhefreedomtoprocessitontheirown.”Silby,2000Didyouhavefuntoday?Whatdidyouthinkyoudidwelltoday?Whereyouabletouseyournewmovesthatyoulearntinpractice?Ifyouaregreetedwiththesoundofsilence,giveoffthegentlesoundsofapproval,besurehe/sheknowsyouthereforhim/her.Letthecoach,coach.Askthecoachforhiscoachingphilosophy,theteamrulesandguidelines.Don'taskquestionsduringagameorduringpractices.Arrangeanappointmentwiththecoachifyouhaveanyconcernsorquestions.Askthecoachhowyoucanhelp,duringpracticeandgamesbutdon’tbeoffendedifhe/shedeclinesyourassistance.Besupportive,alwaysbearolemodelwithpositivebehaviorandsupporttheprogram.
HOWTODEALWITHTHECOACH
CommunityDevelopmentDepartment 14
Reasonschildrenplaysoccerandcoachescoachsoccermustmatch,someitemsbelowwouldberegardedasconflicting.Itisimportantthattheplayer,coachandparentsareonthesamepage.Whyarethechildrenplaying?
• tohavefun• friendsareplaying• tosatisfymomanddad• timeawayfrommomanddad• getintoshape
Whyisthecoach,coaching?
• theirchildisplaying• wantstobeincharge• wantstoseeplayersdevelop• wantstoshowtheplayersalltheskillstheyhavelearnedovertheircareer• becausetheyenjoyandhavefunwiththekids• togivebacktothegame• towinthechampionship
Noteveryoneseestheplayexactlythesame.Themainobjectiveoftherefereeistomakethegameisplayedinasafeenvironmentandmanorforthechildren.Beingthepersonofficiatingagameisnotaseasyasitappears.Remember,manyofficialsarefathers,mothers,brothersandsistersofsoccerplayers,oraresoccerplayersthemselves.Manyotherofficialsarefellowparentsjusttryingtohelpyouthsoccerplayersdevelop.Itisimportanttorecognizethattherefereeisdoinghis/herbest.Theymayseesomethingthatyoudidnotseeormaybenotwhatyouwantedthemtosee.LettheOfficialblowthegame!Officialdeserverespectandneedtobegivensufficientsupport.Helpingtheofficialtocallafoulonlyconfuseschildren.
CONFLICTINGAGENDAS
THEOFFICIAL
CommunityDevelopmentDepartment 15
Disagreeingwiththecalls,onlyhindersyourchild'srespectfortherefereeandmayhurttheviewoftherefereetowardsyourchild'steam.Criticismcausesofficialstoquitratherthanbecomebetter.Manyofficialsquitduetobeingyelledatbyparents.Don’tbeembarrassedtothankandcheertheofficial.Thegoalistoletthegamebeplayedsothatchildrencandevelopandhavefun.BCSoccerwww.bcsoccer.netCanadianSoccerAssociationwww.canadasoccer.comNationalCoachesAssociationofCanadawww.coach.caTheFootballAssociationwww.thefa.comUnitedStatesYouthSoccerAssociationwww.usyouthsoccer.org
RESOURCESANDCREDITS