The Discovery of Awareness - Full Report

8/2/2019 The Discovery of Awareness - Full Report

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THEDISCOVERYOFAWARENESSANDITSIMPACT

AQUALITATIVESTUDY

TheBaumannInstitute

December,2009


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Abstract

Purpose:Thisstudyexploredthefirst-personaccountsofindividualsinvolvedin

severalcontemporaryawarenessteachingsregardingthenatureandqualitiesofawareness,therelationshipofawarenessanditsrecognitiontothealleviationof

humansuffering,andtheimpactthatthediscoveryofawarenesshasacrossmultiple

lifedomains.

Methods:Purposivesamplingwasemployedandindividualsselectedwhowere

eitherseniorstudentsoforteacherswithinseveralcontemporaryawareness

traditions(n=28).Inconsultationwithseveralteachers,asemi-structured

interviewprotocolwasdeveloped.Interviews,whichtookapproximately90

minutestocomplete,werethentranscribedandthematicanalysessubsequently

carriedoutbytwoindependentreviewers.

Results:Despitesomediversityacrossrespondents,anumberofconsistentthemes

emerged.Ingeneral,awarenesswasdefinedasthatwhichknowsorcognizes

phenomenaortheconsciousspacewithinwhichphenomenalexperiencearisesand

subsides.Severalqualitiesofawarenesswerenotedincludingvital,wide-open,

unobstructed,indivisible,andspontaneouslypresent.Therecognitionofawareness

asthefundamentalgroundorbasisofallperceptionswasconsistentlyseenas

crucialtotheresolutionofhumansufferingforseveralreasons:a)awarenessis

undisturbedorunalteredbyphenomena;b)byitself,therecognitionofawareness

inanymomentappearstoresolvethesearchforwell-being;c)fromthevantageof

awareness,onerecognizesthatso-callednegativemindstatesdonotrequire

management,controloralterationbecausetheynaturallyresolvethemselvesowing

totheirimpermanentnature;andd)therecognitionthatthecontextofawarenessis

ultimatelyinseparablefromitsdynamiccontentleadsonetoviewphenomena

conventionallylabeledasdisturbing,asessentiallyinsubstantial,emptyandnon-

threateninginnature.


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Alongwithitsroleintheresolutionofpsychologicalsuffering,participantsnoted

severalotherwaystheyfeltthattherealizationofawarenesshadpositively

impactedtheirlives.Theseincluded:greaterintimacy,easeandopennessin

relationships;diminishmentorlossofself-identificationandself-focus;anenhanced

capacityforskillfulandinnovativeresponsivenesstolifesituations;amovementto

beofbenefitandservicetoothers;and,insightintothefundamentalrootsof

sufferingandacorrespondingnaturalarisingofcompassionforselfandothers.

Conclusions:Basedontheseself-reports,thediscoveryofawarenessasthe

essentialbasisorgroundofallperception,andtheexperiencethatthiscontextof

awarenessisultimatelyinseparablefromitsphenomenalcontentappearstohave

importantimplicationsforourunderstandingof:1)suffering,itcausesandresolution;2)thepotentialforhumanbeingstorealizeawell-beingand

contentmentthatisincreasinglylessdependentuponparticularcircumstancesor

experiences;and,3)therealizationofgreaterequanimityandcompassion,andthe

possibilitythatthesequalitiesareactuallyinnate,intrinsictoawarenessorlifeitself

ratherthanskillsonemustlearnorcultivate.Takentogether,thesepreliminary

findingsmeritadditionalfollow-upbypsychologists,neuroscientists,andother

researchersinterestedinunderstandingthefactorsthatcontributetooptimal

humanwell-beingandfunctioning.


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CharacteristicsofSample

Atotalof28individualsparticipatedinthestudy.Intervieweesweredrawnfrom

severalcontemporarydirectpath/non-dualawarenessteachings.Inaddition,three

individualswerenotspecificallyaffiliatedwithanyoneteacherortradition.All

subjectswereeitherseniorstudentsorinalmostallinstances,functioninginthe

roleofteacherthemselves.Therewere15menand13women.Meanageacross

thesamplewas50withthefollowingnumberineachagerange:20-29(1);30-39

(5);40-49(8);50-59(5);and,60-69(9).Participantswereingeneral,highly

educatedfourreportedsomecollegeeducation,sevenhadcompletedaBachelors

ofArts;eightheldaMastersdegree;sixsubjectsaPhD;andthreeaJ.D.

Theinterviewfollowedasemi-structuredformat.Interviewstookonaverage,90

minutestocomplete.Seventeenwereconductedinpersonwiththeremaining

elevencarriedoutoverthetelephone.Allinterviewswererecordedand

subsequentlytranscribedforlateranalyses.

Awarenessitsnatureandqualities

Followingabriefintroductiontothestudyandthelistofdemographicquestions,

participantswereaskedtodefinefromtheirownexperienceandperspective,the

wordawareness.Aswasthecasewithallquestions,whileresponsesvaried,a

numberofclearthemesandpatternsemerged.Ingeneral,awarenesswas

characterizedordescribedas:


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1. Thespaceinwhichexperiences(thoughts,feelings,sensations)arise:Thewide-openrelaxedspaceofperception;Thecontainerinwhicheverything

isarising;Thiscompletelyemptybutconsciousspaceinwhicheverything

arisesandfallsaway.

2. Thatwhichknowsorcognizesphenomena:Awarenessiswhatslookingandthatwhichislookingisalwayslooking;Garden-varietyawareness

whateveritisthatisreceivingtheinputofthesenses;Itisthatwhichis

knowingeverything.

3. Being:Thesourceexperienceofexisting;Theinstinctiverecognitionofbeing;Whatispresent,knowingthatIam;Thepowertoknowthatwe

are.

Overall,respondentswerequiteconsistentintheirviewofawarenessasthat

mechanismorfacultywhichallowsforandcanthereforebeconsideredtobethe

fundamentalbasis,foundationorrootunderlyingallphenomenalexperience.Atthe

sametime,manyalsonotedthedifficultyindefiningorcharacterizingawareness

forseveralreasons.First,itwasacknowledgedbymostparticipantsthatawareness

isnotathingorobjectbutratherthatwhichisconsciousoforawaketoallobjects,

whethertheseareperceivedasbeinginternalorexternaltotheorganism.

Second,ifasmanyparticipantsreported,awarenessisnotexclusiveofany

phenomenaorexperience,anydescriptionofitwouldnecessarilybepartialand

limited.Asonepersonnoted:Ifourpremiseandourexperienceisthatwecant

findboundariesbetweenanythingwhenwelookforthem,yourereallytalking

abouttheworldasitisconstantlymanifestinginthebroadestsense-thatswhat

awarenesswouldbe.Asanotherparticipantshared:


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Myownpersonalexperienceofawarenessisthatitisnotathingnotan

objectnotanythingthatcanbedefined,anditisthegroundandutterlyinseparablefromeverythingthatahumanbeingcanpossiblyexperience.

Thisthemeoftheinseparabilityofawarenessandexperience(whichwillbe

revisitedinthenextsectionexaminingtherelationshipbetweenawarenessandthe

resolutionofsuffering)wasquitecommon.Examplesofthiscanbeseeninthe

following:

Awarenessisinseparablefromallthoughts,experiencesandemotions.Itis

therootandsourceofeverything,ofallphenomena.

Itisall-inclusive.Ithasnoedgesorboundaries.Itdoesntlookanyparticular

wayitlookslikewhateverisappearinginthisparticularmoment.Andthat

includesalllabels,descriptionsorways...Itiswhatsappearing.WhateverthoughtImawareofinthismoment,theresawareness.WhateverIm

lookingatinthismoment,theresawareness.WhateverImhearinginthismoment,theresawareness.

Awarenessisemptyyetfullofitselfasform.Itssolidlikeamountainacompletelystillpresenceandyetinitisalsothedanceoflife-treesmoving,

thewindblowingthings,peopletalking-thereisabsolutelynodifference,no

separation.

IfIhadtocharacterizeit,Iwouldsayitisthesource,substanceandfunctionofallthings,withoutqualitybutappearingasallqualities.

Thatwhichisawareandthatwhichitisawareof-ultimatelyyoucantfindanydifferencebetweenthesetwothings.

Awarenessisthequalityofknowing,whichoccurssimultaneouslyandinseparablyfromallperceptions.Perceptionsappear,andthefactof

appearanceitself isawareness.Itisnotathingbutrather,aself-dependentqualitythatmakesallthingspossible.Itisopen,clear,ungraspable,and

completelyfreeofduality.Itiscompletepeaceandlove.

Everythingweexperienceinaphenomenalway-sensations,sights,sounds,

thoughts,feelings-areallobjectsinawareness.Awarenessisthenon-

locatable,insubstantial,emptygroundinwhichallthat'soccurring.Butultimatelythetruthis-whichisn'talwayssoreadilyapparent-that

everythingismadeofawareness.Awarenessisactuallythenon-substantial


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substanceofeverything.Usuallyit'seasiertoseethatit'stheground-its

laterthatweseethatit'sactuallythatwhichconstituteseverything.

Tome,awarenessisfundamentallywhateverythingisandinthat,thereisno

separation.

Thewholeuniverseisonebrightjewel.Inotherwordsthereisnoinside,there'snooutside,it'sjustonebright,radiantjewel.Itisinseparableitis

non-dual.

Relatedtothisqualityofbeingall-inclusive,awarenesswasalsodescribedbya

numberofparticipantsasbeingwhole,completeandall-satisfyinginnature.

ThemostdistinguishingfeaturethatIcanpintoitwouldbethatsenseoftherebeingnothingthatyoucouldaddtoitthatwouldmakeitanybetter,or

nothingwithinitthatneedstoberemovedtomakeitanybetter.Itisperfect,

complete,andfull.

Itcanbeafrighteningthingforpeoplewhentheyreadthesetranslationsof

emptinessassomesortofvoidornothingness.Itsnotlikethatatall.Itsthecompleteantithesisofthat.Itsabsolutetheresnothingyoucouldimagine

thatyoucouldbringintoitthatwouldimproveit.

Again,whilemanyparticipantsexpressedthatitwasdifficulttocharacterize

awarenessintermsofspecificqualities(sinceitisbynatureinclusiveofall

descriptionsandqualities),anumberofessentialqualitieswerestillnoted.These

include:indestructible,open,indivisible,innate,stable,reliable,ever-present,

lackinginnothing,equanimity,clarity,vibrantlyalive,embracing,welcoming,all-

pervading,atease,saturating,intelligent,uncontrived,withoutlimit,spontaneously

present,andundisturbed.Thefollowingquotecapturedaperspectivesharedbya

numberofrespondentsthatwhilenotexclusiveofanyqualityofexperienceinlife,

awarenesscanbeconsideredtohavecertainfundamentaloressentialqualities:


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Maybeonewaytoclarifyitistosaythatawarenesshascertainessential

qualitieslikeopennessisanessentialqualitybecauseawarenessisbynature,unobstructed.Thatdoesntmeantosaythatatthelevelof

phenomenalexperiencetheresalwaysgoingtobewhatwemightdescribeasafeelingofopenness.Theremaybetimeswhenourexperienceisoneof

feelingclosedinandconstricted.Butthatexperiencedescribedasclosedisactuallycompletelyopenbecauseasaperception,itsessentialorbasicnatureiswide-open,unobstructedawareness.ThatiswhyIwouldsayan

essentialqualityofawarenessisopenness.Indivisibilitywouldalsobe

anotherofitsessentialqualities.

Manyparticipantsexpressedtheviewthatawarenesswasneithercontainedwithin

nordependentuponthephysicalbrain/body.Inresponsetoaquestionregarding

thescientificskepticismsurroundingthisperspective,oneinterviewee(ascientist

himself)noted:

It'sveryinterestingthattheproponentsofthebrain-basedconsciousness

theoryaremostlyneurologistsorbiologists.Andthereasonforthisisthatat

therootoftheirscience,thereisbiochemistryattherootofwhichischemistryattherootofwhichisphysics.Sotheassumptionisthat,okay,

wedon'tknowhowtoexplaintheatomsinthemoleculesthatthebraincells

aremadeof,butweassumethattheseguysdownthehallway(thephysicists)can.Sowhat[theneuroscientistsandbiologists]doissimply

pushbacktheexplanationtophysics.However,whenyouinvestigatewhatitis-whatismatter,whatisthebrainreallymadeof-youendupwithvery

weirdstuff.Youendupwithaspace,whichisemptyandpregnantwith

everything.Youalsoendupwithauniversethatisnon-local.Therefore,thereisnoseparatephysicalentityintheuniverse-thebrainfromthe

vantagepointofphysics(orthehumanbodyforthatmatter)cannotbeconsideredtobeaseparateisolatedsystem.Thatjustdoesn'tfly.Thatisa

nicetheory,butitisachildishtheory.Ifthebrainofthehumanbodyisnotan

isolatedsystem,ifthemanisnotanisolatednodeinthestratosphere,whythenitwouldbesostrangethatawarenessalonewouldbeisolated.

Awarenessandtheresolutionofsuffering

Participantswereaskedtoreflectontherelationshipofawarenesstosuffering,in

particulartheviewexpressedbymanyoftheworldscontemplativetraditionsthat


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therecognitionofonesnatureasawarenessiscriticaltotheresolutionofhuman

suffering.

Notsurprisingly,aspartoftheirresponse,anumberofparticipantsdiscussedthe

phenomenaofsufferingitself,whatitisandwhatitisultimatelyrootedin.In

general,theviewwasthatsufferingisnotcausedbynorcontainedinparticular

experiencesthemselvesbutratherinhowthoseexperiencesaredescribedand

onessubsequentrelationshiptoandefforttofindwell-beingormeaninginthose

descriptions.Forexample:

Sufferingisthestrivingandthegraspingandthetryingtoholdontothe

pleasantandpushawaytheunpleasant.Buteverythingisgoingtochangeandthemomentyoucanacceptthatasthereality,theinescapablereality,

thenIthinksufferingends.

Recognizingthatphenomenalexperiences,whichhumanbeingsaretypicallyeither

seekingafterortryingtoeliminate,arenotpermanentwasseenbymanyasa

crucialpartoftherealizationofawareness.Asoneparticipantnoted:

Ifyouworkatyourcircumstancesandperhapsworkatcontrollingyourthoughtsandtryingtoputyourselfinpleasantsituations,youcanhavesome

fantasticexperiences.Youknow,youcanhavefeelingsofrealbliss,ofreal

joy,theseamazingexperiences.Buttheyrealwaysfleeting,alwaystemporary,alwayskindoftingedwiththatfeelingthattheyrenotgoingto

last.

Similarly,anotherrespondentpointedoutthefutilityofseekingfulfillmentin

experiencesthatarebynatureimpermanent:

Lookintoyourownlife.Haveyoueverbeenabletosustainanything?Ever?

Thatsthedirectevidenceinyourownlifeandtomakeanylogicalassumptionaboutitbeingotherwisecontradictsallevidenceofevery

momentofyourentirelife.


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Severalrespondentsfeltthatsufferingwasessentiallyrootedinourresistanceto

whatis.Forexample:

Reactivitytimeswhateverishappeningpain,letssayequalssuffering.

Noreactivity,nosuffering.Whentherestheslightestmovementofreactivity,Iwouldsaytheressuffering.

Sufferingisfundamentallystrugglingwithwhatis.Whatismaybepainful,butsufferingistryingtostopitorgetridofitorfixitorunderstandit.Not

thatanyofthesethingsinandofthemselvesareaproblemtheyrenot.But

wherethetransitionfromsufferingtofreedomhappensisliterallyatthepointofseeingthestruggle.

Sufferingwouldbewhatweaddontoagivenexperienceevenifit'sadifficult

experience.Sufferingwouldbewhatwetellourselvesaboutthat,orhowwe

resistorarguewiththatsituation.Thatcouldbeusedasaworkingdefinitionforsuffering,thatparticularmovementtopushawayordenyexperienceor

toactuallybelievethatitshouldn'tbehappening,eventhoughitis.

However,regardingtherelationshipbetweensufferingandresistanceto

phenomena,anotherparticipantofferedthefollowing,onecouldsay,morenuanced

view:

Issufferingtheresultofresistingwhatis?WellIwouldsay,yes.Butonfurtherexamination,sufferingisnotaconsequenceofresistanceitsan

appearanceofthebasicstate[ofawareness]andnotaconsequenceof

anythingelse.Iheardespeciallyinspiritualcircumstances,thatsufferingisduetoresistanceandthenofcourseItriedtoresistresistance.AndthenI

blamedmyselfforbeingresistant.Buttothenseethatthesimplestmost

profoundessenceofsufferingisthebasicstateitselfbecauseitisinessenceanappearancethatcannotbefoundtohaveanatureindependentof

awareness.Atthesametime,IcompletelyagreethatwheneverItrytoaltertheflowofexperience,Ifeeltenseandthereispainandsuffering.Andso,

likeimagesinamirror,Icandescribetheseappearancesintermsofcause

andeffectrelationships.Buttheirultimatemeaningisnothowtheyrelatetoeachotherbutratherthattheyareappearancesinthemirror.Otherwise,I

amsayingthatwhathasnoindependentnaturehaspoweroversomethingelsethathasnoindependentnature.


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Alongthesesamelines,anotherparticipantshared:

IsawthatallIeverdidwaswanthappinessandrejectsuffering.SoIknew

thisbasicgameandrealizedthatthatcanneverleadtoanything,yetIhad

thefeltsensethatwheneverIrecognizedawareness,therewasnosuffering.SoinasenseIfeltimmediatereliefjustbyrecognizingawareness,whichI

cannotexplain.Thatshowitfelt,liketwodifferentthingsinitially.Butincreasingly,Icouldseethatthesourceofsufferingisawareness,whichis

incredible,thatsufferingisnotoutsideofawareness.Therewouldbeno

sufferingwithoutthepresenceofawareness.Solessandlessdidrelyingonawarenessbecomeanantidotetosuffering,whichinitiallyitwas.

Intermsoftheresolutionofsuffering,theviewofseveralparticipantswasthat

awareness,byitsverynature,illuminatesorshedslightonthoseareasofourlives

wherethereissomesufferingorunease.Thefollowingquotesreflectthisview:

Awarenessilluminatesthedark.Beingenlightenedisactuallyaveryaccurate

term.Thelight[ofawareness]literallyilluminateswhathasntbeenseen.

Awarenessseemstoputintogreaterrelief,themovementofreactivityand

conditioning.

[Speakingaboutatendencytowanttoavoidafamilymemberwhowas

dealingwithanaddictionproblem]Icanthelpbutseethesethingsatthispoint.Awarenessislikeaflashlightthatsjustonmoreandmore.Itseesany

ofthosetendenciesmuchmorequickly,whichallowsarecognitionofthatinmethatclearlydoesloveanditdoesntwanttoavoidher.

Manyparticipantsreportedthatinawareness,onefindstheverystabilityand

reliabilitythathadpreviouslybeensoughtoutintransientphenomena.Examplesof

thisperspectivecanbeseeninthefollowing:

Torelyonhavingahealthybody,forinstance,issopainfulbecauseitsnot

alwayshealthy.Relyingonsomethingthatcantbereliedonisverypainful.

Butrelyingonsomethingthatcanbereliedonawareness-isbycomparison,likeheaven.


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Itisreallyalifeoftension,tryingtokeepthebadthingsoutandholdingto

thegoodones.Oncethatisseen,thenitsclearthatwecannotfindultimatereliefbyholdingontoanyofourperceptions.Thentobeintroducedto

somethingaboutusthatiscompletelystableandcanbealwaysreliedon,thatisalwayspresentnomatterwhatisgoingon.Inbeingintroducedtothis

awarenaturethatdoesntdependonwhatisoccurring,peopleseeandImyselfsaw,thatthatistheultimatewell-being.

Itsreallyasimplematterofplacingemphasisonwhatiscompletelystable,

indestructibleandunchangingratherthanonfleetingappearances.

TimeswhenIvehadextraordinaryphysicalpain,theressomethinginthere

thatsjusthummingpervading.Icanfeelthisunderlyinggroundofstability.

Toseethattheressomethinginnate,andcompletelystableandclearand

completelyreliabletocountonineverysituationnomatterwhatoccurs,

thenthatscompelling.

Participantsalsosharedthatinthedirectencounterwiththisever-present,stable

groundofawareness,whatwasdiscoveredwastheverycontentment,easeand

senseoffulfillmenthumanbeingsordinarilyseekoutinchangingphenomena.

IreallythoughtIneededtofindsomethinginthefuturetobewholeandwhatIfoundwasthisawarenessthatwasawareofthosemovementstogoto

thefuturewasalreadycomplete.

Basically,weretryingtobehappy.Soevenwhenpeopleareshooting

heroinetheyretryingtobehappy.Evenwhentheyrekillingsomeoneelse,theyreultimatelytryingtohavehappiness.Fromourperspectiveofsanity,

thatsinsane.Butultimatelyweallhavethatinus.Sopeoplearetryingtobe

happyandultimatelyawarenessishappiness.

Akeypointdiscussedbymanyrespondentswasthatatonelevelofexperience,

whatisdiscoveredisthatawarenessthatwhichknows-isessentiallyunaffected

oruntouchedbywhateverphenomenalcontentisappearinginortoit.The

followingquotescapturethis:


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Awarenessiscompletelyunaffectedbywhatsgoingonthepainandthe

worry,thefearsandthethoughts,thethinkingaboutawarenessandthethinkingaboutrestingasawareness-allofthesethingseffortlessly

appearinganddisappearingwithinthenaturalpresenceofawareness.

Ononelevel,ImsoawarethatImuntouchedbyanyofthat.Imjust

watchingthatallplayoutinme.Andyetonanotherlevel,Imexperiencingitallsadnesscomes,happinesscomesitallisplayingoutbuttheresthis

incrediblecomfortinknowingthatImreallyuntouchedbyitatavery

significantlevel.ItslikethatoldanalogyItrulyamthescreenandthemoviesplayingandwhenthemoviechangesthescreendoesntchange.Soat

thatlevel,itsalljustwonderfultowatch.

Youstopbelievingyourthoughts.So,mythoughtsstillarisebutitsasifyou

justseethemlikeenergyrising,orliketheradiointheotherroom.Youdontbuyintothemandgetentangled.Soyoudonthavetobuyintothestories

anymorethatcausesuffering.Awarenessitselfisfreeoftheattachmentto

thought.Sototheextentthatonerestsinawareness,thoughtsstillarise,humanexperiencestillarises,butifyouarerestinginawareness,yourejust

notsoentangledanymore.Yourelikeinaclear,openspace,anunengagedspace.

Itdoesntmatterwhatcomes.Notdeath,nothavingyourbankaccountwipedout,notbeingtotallybrokeandcompletelyindebt.Iveseenallofthis.Ive

eitherseenitorIveexperienceditfirsthand.Itdoesntmatter,impact,or

affectawareness.

Gettingupinfrontofacrowdandspeaking-thewholeideaofthatjustsends

thebodyintoacompletetremor.And,youknow,itsannoying.Butitdoesnotaffectawareness.IamasequallyawareinthatstateasIamwhenIm

completelyandtotallyatease.Andthatnervousnessorself-centeredfear,orwhateveryouwanttocallit,itarisesinthatspace,itabidesinthatspace,and

itresolvesinthatspace,andsotheresnothingtobedoneaboutit.

Everyexperienceweveeverhadhaspassedeffortlesslythroughour

awarenessleavingnotrace.

Awarenessisjustanaturalfacultythatallhumanbeingshave.Andinmy

experience,justthemomentaryrecognitionthatthatawarenessisnaturallypresentnaturallyunaffectedbyallexperiencealwayslucidalwaysclear

alwaysopen-isatremendousrelief,particularlyinthemomentsits

recognized.Butthereliefalsosomehowpervadeseverything,evenwhenImnotspecificallyinvolvedinbeingawarethatawarenessispresent.


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Participantsalsospokeaboutsufferingbeingrootedinourverbal/conceptual

descriptionsthattendtoreifyorsubstantializethoughts,feelingsandsensationsas

beingsomethinginandofthemselvesandashavingpowertoinfluencewell-being.

Pointingtotheinsubstantialnatureofphenomena,oneparticipantnoted:

It'sfunnybecauseyoulookforaparticularstateofmindandyoucan'tfindevidenceofit,inasense.Yetit'sstillappearing.Thisisthenatureofeach

phenomenon-youcan'tfinditsbeginning,it'smiddleoritsendbecausewheredoesitendandthenextstatebegin?Itsallboundary-less.Youcannot

findthebeginningofanythingreally;youcannotfindthebeginningofthis

moment,ortheendofit.Youcansay,wellitdoesntexist.Butyoucan'treallysayit'snonexistenteitherbecauseit'sappearing.It'samazing.The

mindwouldsaythatsomethingthatwasneverbornandneverdiescannotexist.Buthereitis,unbornandundying.Forconvenience,wesplititallup.Butitisreallyjustthecontinuityofeverythingasitis.Itisseamlessthere

arenoseamsanywhere.Wherearetheseams,wheresthezipper?That'swhytheskyissuchaprofoundmetaphorforawareness-absolutely

unimpeded,unobstructedwithnoboundaryanywhere.

Anotherrespondentshared:

Iseeinthemomentoftheirarisingorshortlythereafterthattheyarejustthoughtsthatdonthaveanyinherentrealitytothem.

Indiscussingtheimpossibilityofactuallydefiningordescribingphenomena,one

participantnoted:

Thatsthereliefinitjustallowingallofthosethingstobeandtoseethat

theyareallmomentaryfleetingappearances.Youcantholdontoanyofthem.Itsabsolutelyimpossible.Youcantgrabontoanyofthem.Youcant

reallydefineordescribeanyofthemcompletely.

Apropostheabove,manyrespondentsfeltthatintermsoftheresolutionof

suffering,thekeypointtorealizewasthenon-independent(empty)natureof

phenomenaandtheultimateinseparabilityofawarenessanditscontent.


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Initiallytheawarenesswasadistractionfromreality,fromform.Andthen

therewastryingtoholdoutinordertostayintheformless.Butthatbecameafutileattempt.Andthedeeperseeingthathappenedwasthateverything

thatwasarisingwasthisconsciousness.Thatwassortoflikethebirthofcompassion,justlettingeverythingbeasitis.Sothathelpedrelievealotof

sufferingforwhilebeforeIwastryingtoescapeworldlylife,nowitwasmorelike,Letithaveme.Justcomeonin.Youcanhaveme.Imnotgoingtofightyou,notgoingtoresistyou.Imnotgoingtotrytogetridofyouorholdonto

youifyouwanttogo.Itwaslikeawillingnesstobewithwhateverwas

arising,foreverevenifitneverchanges.

Onceyoubecomemoreandmoreconfidentinrelyingonawareness,thenitsveryobviousthatevenlabelsliketensionandstressarecompletely

insubstantial-theydonthaveanysubstanceoftheirown.Theyrenotthings

inandofthemselves,andthroughthatsimplerecognition,theyreallylosetheirpower.Itdoesntmeanthatyouwontexperiencetensionorstress,but

itmeansthatitsexperiencedinamuchmorelighthearted,carefreeway.

Everypointofview,emotion,thought,perceptionthatwehave,Ivelearned,

isawarenessexpressingitselfwithoutbecomingdividedintosomethingelse.Ifawarenessisallthatthereisandithasnobeginning,middleorend,then

itsexpressionscanthaveacauseoreffecteither.

IjusthadthisamazingrealizationI'mmakingallofthisup,it'sallmade

up.IcancallthispainorwhateverIwant,it'sjustvastandcompletelywide

openandit'semptyofanythingotherthanawareness(orwhateveryouwanttocallit).Thedespairandthepainbecametheunderlyingeaseand

openness,whichwasthejoyandtheblissandtheclarity.Itwasallthis

subtle,pervasive,spaciousease.

Yes,disturbingstatesstillarise.IthinkiftheydidntIdbedead.Nothinginmylifehaschangedcircumstantially.Thesamepointsofviewthatarosefive

yearsagoarisetoday.Nothinghaschangedinthatregard.Butthe

relationshipIhavewiththemhascompletelychanged.Sowhensomethingarisesthathassomelabelcallednegativeorafflictive,thenitsrecognizedto

bewhatitis,anappearanceofthebasicstateofawareness.

LetssayIvegotthisfeelingofstress.Ithensaythatthisstresshashappened

becauseofthis,andthisalwayshappens,andwhydoIfeellikethis,andI

shouldntfeellikethisitslikefeedingafirewithmoreandmorewood.Wetellourselves,Ivegottodosomethingaboutmystress.Ivegottogetridof

this.Ivegottolearnhowtodealwithit.Ivegottodosomethingwithit.Andyetallofthattryingtodosomethingwithittryingtosuppressitor

avoiditorreplaceitwithsomethingthatseemsmorepleasurable-isstillfeedingit.Butassoonasitsrecognizedthatstressissimplythisdynamic

energyappearing,thisphenomenaoccurringinthebasicstateofawareness,

thenyounotice,anditsimmediatelyobviousthattheresnothingreally


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there.Theresnothingreallygoingon.Theresnothingthatsarealthreat.

Becauseitisawareness,sohowcanitbeathreattoawareness?Itisthebasicstateappearing,sohowcanitbeaproblemforthebasicstate?

Sothisiswhathappenedtomeinthebeginningofrestingasawareness-Icouldseethingslikeangerandawareness,sidebyside.So,Icouldstillbe

frustratedandangryandbequiteamazedthatI'mreallyfuriousandrelaxedatthesametime.Sothatwasmyinitialexperienceofanegativestateand

awarenessexistingseeminglyside-by-side.Icouldgetupandsitinfrontof

peoplebeingreally,reallynervousandscaredwithnothingtosayandmyvoicealluphighandatthesametimeIwascompletelyrelaxed.Itwas

amazing:Wow,I'mreallynervouswithnothingtosay,I'mreallyembarrassedbutIfeelfantastic!Andslowlythosetwojustbecameone,

realizingtheresnoseparationbetweennervousnessandawareness.

Wearesotrainedperceptuallytoseephenomena,particularlythedisturbing

ones,assomehowhavingpowerinandofthemselveswhenthey'reactually

beingpoweredbysomethingelse.It'samazing-theydon'thaveanyindependentpower.Theydon'thaveanypowerbecausethey'rereallynot

separate.They'renotstandingapartfromandexertinginfluenceovertherestoflife,theyarelife.

Ithinkitgetsdeeperthemoreonerealizestheinseparabilityofeverythingthateverythingthatsarisingisntseparatefromwhatitsarisinginandto.

Thereisntanythingstrugglingwithanythingelseactually.Thatsjustso

remarkable.Itsnotlikeusherestrugglingwithsomestatethatsarisingoverthere.Thatsreallynotthewayitis.Itsexperiencedlikethatsthewayitis,

butthatsjustbecauseitsbeingdescribedthatwaydescribedassomeone

havinganexperience.

Notsurprisingly,thisrealizationthatphenomenalstatesnolongerposeanythreat

becausetheyarerecognizedasinseparablefromthegroundofawarenessitself

appearstoradicallyalteronesrelationshiptoallexperience.Thistransformed

relationshipappearstotakeseveralforms:

1. Nolongerthesamedegreeofeffortorperceivedneedtoeitherescape,avoidorseekafterparticularstates.


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2. Lesssecondarymentalprocessing,commentaryorelaborationaboutwhateverisappearinginconsciousness(e.g.,Ihaveemotionbutthereisno

storyorstrugglewithit).

3. Whiledescriptionsmaystillbeusedtocharacterizephenomena,thedescriptionsarenolongertakentobesomethingsubstantial.

4. Thoughts,feelings,andsensationsareviewedlessasconcretethingsorobjectsandmoreasthedynamicmovementofenergyorawareness.

5. Thereisanincreasingsenseofease,opennessandfearlessnesswitheverythingthatappears,evenuncomfortablebody-mindstates.

6. Asensethatasawareness,oneisallowingorwelcomingexperience,asitis(e.g.,ThatincrediblewelcomingthatmeetsreactivityIhaveseenisthevery

undoingultimatelyofthereactivity.)

Thefollowingpassagefromarespondentwhohadsufferedfromachronicillness

throughoutmostofheradultlifehighlightsthepracticalimpactthattheviewof

awarenessappearstohave:

Relatingtoitorexperiencingitasbeingawarenessorrestinginawarenessseemstoshiftthewholenatureoftheexperienceofbeingsick.When

theresjustarestinginorasawareness,itkindofsuffuseseverythingall

thesephysicalsymptomsthatarearisingbecomesothattheyrenotaproblem.Andoftentimestherecanbeasenseofexpansion,resting,

spacious,relaxationthatinsomewaysitskindofstrange,butthe

symptomsalmostfacilitatethathappening,becausetheyrealittlebitofaspurtoremembertorestasawareness.Sotheresawarenessandtheres

stuffarisingandsometimesitcanseemtobecomemoreasenseofmovementorenergyinsideratherthanevenwhatIwouldordinarilytermas

painful,uncomfortablesymptoms.Itseemstobeexperienceddifferently.

Morefundamentallyasensationandyeahtheresthisrelaxationwiththewholeexperience.


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Attheheartofthistransformedrelationshiptoexperienceisthediscoveryofwhat

appearstobeaninternaleaseandprofoundsenseofwell-beingthatisnot

dependentuponthepresenceorabsenceofparticularexperiencesor

circumstances.Thefollowingquotescapturesomeoftheessenceofthis

transformation:

Oneofthethingsaboutawarenessasitrelatestosufferingonebeginstorecognizethatthereisafreedomthatspresentinthemidstofallstates.

Ifwejustrecognizethatawarenessispresentandallexperienceseffortlesslycomeandgo,thenworryingorgettingwrappedupineverythingandtrying

tocontrolthingsissimplynotrelevantinthatframework.Itsnotnecessary.

Thatisnotjustarelievingideaoracomfortingperspectivebutisreallytrue.Andthemoreconfidenceyougaininthefactthatrealityislikethatthatitis

reallylikethat-themoreonewillrelatetolifeasiftheyknowthatalliswell.

ItsjustamazingtofindthatIcansitinaroomwithpeoplewhothinkIm

wonderful,orIcansitinaroomwithpeoplewhothinkImcompletelyweirdandIfeelcomfortableinbothsituations.IfeelcomfortableevenifIfeel

uncomfortablewhichissuchagift.Icanreallyenjoybothsituations.

WhereasbeforeIdbetryingtodoallkindsofweirdthingsinternally,tryingtobemoreconfidentortryingtobemorecomfortableifIwasnt,nowIjust

sittherefeelinguncomfortable,completelyhappy.Itsjustwonderful.

ImnotinterestedinhowIfeelanylonger.Ifyouaskedmejustaboutthe

thoughtorhowIfeltthisafternoonitwouldbeeffortfultofindthedescriptionofmythoughtsandemotionsataparticulartimeandplace.Ican

saythatIfeelutterlywellandstable,butthatdoesntdependonthecontent

ofmymindorthecontentofmyphysicalexperience.

[Discussingastrokesufferedbyhisteacher].Obviouslythisphysicaldamagetothebrainhadbroughtaboutthisbigdisruptioninthefunctioningofhis

mind.Butthepeacebeyondisuntouchedbecauseitistherealityofthemind.

Anumberofparticipantsalsonotedthatacentralqualityofawarenesswas

compassionandthatthisdispositiontowardexperience(whatseveralpeople

referredtoasakindofwelcomingorallowingofexperience)wasacorefactor

underlyingtherelationshipofawarenesstotheresolutionofsuffering.Forexample:


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Compassionisallowingsufferinginonesselfandothers.Thatsthemost

powerfultransformationthereis.Theonlywayitspossibletoallowsufferingisnotpsychologicallynotemotionallybutfromthevastness

fromtherealmofawarenessthatiswhatultimatelyfreesus.

WelcomingwouldbeanessentialaspectofawarenessIwouldsay.

Awarenesswelcomesitself.Itwelcomeseverythingasitself,eventhereactivityitwelcomes.ThiswelcomingIhaveseenistheveryundoing

ultimatelyofthereactivity.Thewelcomingofeverythingjustthewayitis,

istrulytheendofsuffering.

Severalparticipantsalsosharedtheviewthatwhatweconventionallylabelas

disturbingmindstates(includingsuffering),ratherthanbeingsomethingtodo

awaywithorstruggletobecomefreeofcanactuallyberealizedtobeand

experiencedasinseparablefromfreedomitself.Thefollowingquotesillustratethis:

Whenyoubelieveinadestructiblehumanexistenceandholdingtothatsodearly,youmisstheobviousnessofcompleteinseparability,completeokay-

nessandindestructibility.Thekeyistorealizethatinthesufferingitself,in

allowingoneselftogetuncomfortable,tofeelthesuffering,theresthefreedom.Allowingthatcompleteoverwhelmingsenseofsufferingtobeasit

isandseethatitresolvesinandofitself,likealinedrawninwater.Tryingto

avoidsufferingisthewheelofsuffering.

Thereisnoescape.Ican'tdoanythingaboutit.ItwassomethingthatseemedtomethatIhadtoenduretogetthroughwhereasinfact,itwasrighttherein

thatdisturbingexperience.WhatIwaslookingforwasinthatexperience.

Tocutthroughconceptsinmydirectexperiencenotmerelyina

philosophicalwaywhereIknoweverythingarisesinawareness,buttolet

thepainoftheworldrageinmeandtojustletitbethereandnotthinkthatawarenessisfreedomfromsuffering.Itsnotaboutfreedomfromsuffering;it

isfreedominsuffering.

Whilethiswastheprevailingviewofmostrespondents,attimes,thelanguageused

bysomewouldreflectadifferentperspective,onethatappearedtoemphasize

freedomfromthephenomenalworld.Forexample:


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Atthephenomenal,body-mindlevel,thereisnofreedom,theresjustdecay

anddeath.That'sallwereheadedfor.Wecangothroughourlittlechanges-wegetmarried,wegetdivorced,andwehavechildren,andtheygrowup,

andwehaveajob,andweretireButwhatjoy,whatultimatejoyorfreedomisthereinthat?Theonlyfreedomandjoy,truejoyisthefreedom

fromthat,therecognitionthatitisjustanarising

Finally,inconsideringtherootsofsuffering,thebeliefinbeingaseparatepersonor

individualizednodeofawarenesswasnotedbyseveralparticipants.

Ifweinvestigatedinhindsighteverytimeweexperiencepsychologicalsufferingwediscoverthatwecanalwaystraceitbacktothebeliefsand/or

thefeelingthatweareaseparateawareness,aseparateentity.Thereforethe

discoveryofthetruenatureofawarenessmayputanendtothesufferingifitturnsoutthatawarenessisnot,aspreviouslybelieved,personal,limited,or

body/mindbasedbutratheruniversal,impersonal.Usuallywebelievewe

havegoodreasonnottobehappy-sayI'mnothappybecausemybankaccountisempty.Sothesearetheallegedreasonsbutitturnsoutthatallof

theseallegedreasonswouldbecomemootthemomentitwouldbediscoveredthatawarenessisnotpersonal.

FromRecognitiontoStabilization

Consistentwithdescriptionsfoundinseveralawarenesstraditions(e.g.,Dzogchen

TibetanBuddhism),themajorityofparticipantsspokeaboutaprocessinwhichthe

recognitionofawarenesswasinitiallyexperiencedasmoreintermittentandfleeting

butthenovertimebecamemorestableandenduring.Aspartofthis,subjectswere

alsoaskedtocommentonanyspecificactivities,relationships,orpracticestheyd

foundparticularlysupportiveintermsoftheirgrowingmoreconfidentandstablein

therecognitionofawareness.

Severalthemesemerged.First,anumberofpeoplesharedthatwhateventually

begantodawnforthem,sometimesthroughtheguidanceoftheirteachers,wasthat


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awarenesscouldnotactuallybeabsent,despitetheexperienceofhavingseemingly

losttouchwithit.Thefollowingquotescapturethissentiment:

Ifyoufeellikeyouvefound[awareness]andthenlostit,whatsawareof

findingandlosing?Itslikethereisamoresubtleawarenessifyouwould.Whateverawarenessthatyouhadthatyouimagineisnowlostisactually

beingaware.Itisreallyaboutrecognizingtheinescapablyofawareness-you

cantescapeyourSelf.Youarealwayshere.

Inthebeginningofbecomingfamiliarwithawareness,itwasmorelike

momentsofrelief,andinbetween,somekindoflostness.Istartedtorealize,however,thateventhelostnessappearssweetlyandperfectlyin

awareness.

Aproposthis,severalparticipantsnotedthatthesenseofawarenessbeingmore

stablereallybegantotakeholdastheygrewmoreconfidentinthefactthat

awarenesswasaspresentintheexperiencecalledrecognizingawarenessasit

wasintheexperiencelabelednon-recognitionofawareness.Asoneperson

shared:

ThesenseofawarenesscomingandgoingresolvedtotallyformeonceI

reallysawthatitdoesntmatterhowIdescribemyexperience.Icandescribeitinallkindsofways,likenotrecognizingawareness,orthatitsnot

here-Icanemphasizeallthesedescriptionsbutthatdoesntmakethebasicstate[ofawareness]notbethere.

Aswasseeninmanyoftheresponsestothequestionabouttherelationshipof

awarenesstotheresolutionofsuffering,thethemeoftheinseparabilityof

awarenessandphenomenawasagainnotedbyanumberofparticipantsasacritical

factorintermsofthestabilizationofawareness.Belowareseveralexamples:

Whetherwedescribesomethingasabidingornotabiding,asrecognitionorasnotbeingaware,whateveritis,everythingrestsinitself.Sothenitreally

cametothatpointandIsawthatnothingcanavoidthenaturalpresenceofawareness.Itisallinseparable.Seeingthatourdescriptionsandlabelsare


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nothingbutthebasicstateofawareness,therewasnowheretoturnandthen

evenlookingatmyrealizationjustrelaxed.

Thatrecognitionofawarenessitnevergoesaway.Soitsonlygoingtoget

moreandmorerecognizableifthatspossible.Itsnotlikeadestinationofmoreandmorerecognizableitsthateveryexperienceismorerecognizable

asawareness.

Forme,itwasrealizedthatnon-recognitionofawarenessisawareness.Ata

certainpointitsveryclearthatthatsthecase.Withverybasiclogic,youcanseethat.Afterawhile,thechoicebecameapparenttomeamIreallygoing

totrustthatornot.Botharefine,ofcourse,butsomehowthatwasquiteabig

shiftforme.AmIgoingtolivebythatornot?Itkindofwasadecision,okayImgoingtohavetheinnocencetoallowthattobeasitiswhateverthe

non-recognitionofawarenessisthatIhave,orthelackofconfidencethatIhave-amIgoingtoletthatbeasitisorIamgoingtocontinuetryingto

correctit?WhenIchosetoletitbeasitwas,thatwasperhapsthebiggest

changeforme.

Withrespecttotheexperiencecalled,notrecognizingawareness,wecant

reallyidentifyamomentatwhichwestoppedrecognizingitandwecantreallyidentifyamomentatwhichwestartedrecognizingit.

Well,itsreallymorerecognizingthewaythingsalreadyare.Itslikewethink

aboutrestingandgrowingmorestableasakindofthingthatwe'redoing

butit'sreallymuchmoreacknowledgingthat,well,itwouldtaketheretobetwothingsfortheretonotbestability,right?Itwouldbeonethingthatcould

getthrownoffbalancebyanotherthing.Butreally,itactuallyisn'tworking

thatwayatall.It'sjustcompletestability;everythingisstableinitself,naturally.Itsjustrecognizingthatthat'sjustthecase.Eveninmomentsof

feelingunstable,therescompletestability.

Howisitpossibletobeoutofthatwhichisinclusiveofeverything?Andyet,

inthewaywedescribeourexperiences,thisishowitcanseem,especiallyforthoseofuswhohavegottenintothosekindsofteachingswheretheresthis

senseofbeingreallyintouchwithawarenessandthenasensethatitsnotsomuchintheforeground.Itsusefultolookatthisandseethatthedescription

ofthenon-recognitionofawarenessisjustfull-onblazingawarenessasis

everything.Andthentheideaofeverfallingoutofitstartstobeseen

through,thatitsnotreallypossibletofallinoroutofawareness.Inrealizingthis,theexperienceisoneofmoreandmoreease,andinthatrelaxation,

whatssoblazinglyapparentisawareness.

Relatedtotheabovethemes,anotherkeyobservationsharedbyanumberof

participantswasthattheexperienceofawarenessbeingunstable(i.e.,thesensethat


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itissomehowcomingandgoing)isrootedinafundamentalmisunderstandingthat

equatestherecognition(andsubsequentstabilization)ofawarenesswithparticular

statesorexperiences.Forexample:

Stability,ifyouwanttocallitthat,comesaboutbyrecognizingawarenessin

allstatesandnotjustassociatingitwithparticularstatesorcircumstances.

Ofcourseitevenmakeslogicalsensetosaythatwhatsstableiswhat'spresentineverything.That'swhatmakesitstable.That'sreallyakey

discovery,toseethatit'sneverabsentfromanystate,thatit'snotpossibleforawarenesstobeabsentfromanystate.

Yourenottryingtoholdontoanyparticularmomentortryingtopindownawarenessaslookinganyparticularwaybecausethenextmomentitwillbe

somethingcompletelydifferent!

Ithinkweendupmissingsomethingreallyfundamental,whichisthatevery

perceptionisinseparablefromawareness.Itsnotonlythemomentswhere

theperceptionisoneofanintensificationofthesenseofpresenceofawarenessbecausethenwerebackinputtingitinacategorywhenits

actuallyallpervading,andsaturatingexperience.Iffreedomsgoingtobereallyfree,youhavetobefreeinthemidstandinandaseverything.Thats

realfreedom.

Awarenessisequallypresentinandaseveryflashmomentnomatterwhat

thecontentofthatmomentis,whichisnttosaythatwemightnotpreferto

beincertainenvironmentswherepeoplearetalkingaboutawarenessandpointingtothatanditfeelslikeitscomingmorealivetheninanother

momentwhereyourpartnerspissedoffatyouorsomething,whateveritmightbethatmightnotbeourpreferredexperience.Butthereitisinthat

too,andthewholehostofresponsesthatmightariseinthefaceofthatkind

ofanencounter.

OnemistakeIseemanypeoplemake(andIhavedonethismyself)ishavingwhatwecouldcallaninterestingorveryprofoundexperience.Now,evenif

thisisevidencethatthereisrecognitionofawareness,thatweregrowing

familiarwithawareness,awarenessdoesntresideanywhere.Such

experiencesarisein,of,as,andthroughawareness,justliketheexperienceofbeingtotallynervousarisesin,of,as,andthroughawareness.Theyareequal

andeven.So,topinpointacertainsensationorfeelingorvisionasawarenessandthenwhenitisntlikethat,toconcludethatitsnot

awarenessisjustamisunderstanding,thatsall.Itisdevastatingifsomeonedoeslockdownonacertainperception,thinkingthatthatsawarenessandif

theydonthavethatexperiencethentheyvelostit.Youknowitslikethe

greatestloveryouveeverhadandthentheyregoneandyoullneverget


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themback,youknow.Andthenyoullpineandlament,wanttokillyourself,

andthatsnotanexaggeration,Iknowpeoplelikethat.

Letssayyougoonaretreatandyouhavenoexternaldistractions,youre

justrestingasawareness,restingintheeaseofbeing.Thenyouleavethecircumstancesyoureinandtheinstructionyourereceivingandnowyoure

inyourlifeandyourwifesayssomethingthatpissesyouoff,orthenextcircumstantialperceptionarises,anewperception-whateveryouwantto

callit,allthelabels,wemightgiveexperience.Wethinkawarenessisgone

nowbecausetheresanewperception.Butoncewereallygetthatthisnewperceptionisalsoit,howcanthereeverbeinstabilityifeveryexperienceis

themovementofthat?Anythingthatcomescangobecausethatsthenatureofphenomena,right?Wecantholdanythinginplace,includingrecognition

ofawareness.

Ihadsomeamazingexperiencesquitecosmicexperiencessomequite

psychedelicexperiencesatpoints,aswellassomefeelingsofincrediblebliss

absolutelyoverwhelmingbliss,andobviouslythisisquiteamazingbecauseitissooutoftheordinaryintermsofournormaleverydayexperience.But

theseexperiencesarenothingspecialtheseexperiencesarealsosimplythedynamicenergyofawareness.Andifthatsthewayitsappearinginthe

moment,thenthatsthewayitsappearinginthemoment,whichisgreatso

youcanenjoythat.Butthatsnotawareness.Awarenessisntthatblissed-outstate.Awarenessisntthatpsychedelicdisplay.Awarenessisalsothat

feelingoffeelingshitty.Thisissocommon,thatassociation,becausethefirst

timeyoureallydorecognizethefundamentalinseparabilityofeverything,itsusuallyanincrediblerevelation,anditdoesfeelgreatandyoudofeela

senseofrelief.Butthentoassociateawarenesswiththatparticularsetoffeelingsorthatparticularexperienceisimmediatelytolimitwhatcantbe

limitedyouredeciding,Thisisawareness.Youredefiningit.Andyetby

nature,itiscompletelyun-definablecompletelyungraspable.Itiswhateverisappearing,andifitsappearingasbliss,itsappearingasbliss,ifits

appearingasdepression,itsappearingasdepression.Itsincrediblypowerfulwhenyouhavethatrecognitionintheseafflictiveornegativestates

andseethattheyarealsothissamegroundofbeing.Thatsahuge

recognition.Andthentherereallyisnochanceoffallingbackorgettinglostinastoryofnon-recognitionofawarenessbecausethatstoryofnon-

recognitionofawarenessisevidenceofawareness.

Aproposthis,arecurringthemandchallengeformanypeopleinvolvedwith

awarenessteachings,includingmanyoftheparticipantsinthisstudy,appearstobe

there-arisingofdisturbingorafflictivemindstatesandthefeelingthatthepresence

ofsuchstatesissomehowevidenceoftheabsenceofawareness,ofhavinglost


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contactwithitinsomeway.Belowareanumberofpassagesthathighlight

participantsfeelingsthatakeytostabilizinginandasawarenessisthewayin

whichonerelatestothere-occurrenceofdisturbingmental-emotionalorbodily

states.

Ifounditkindofaremarkablerevelation,anongoingoneIshouldsay,toseethatwhendisturbingstatessuddenlyareshowingup,there'softenthe

interpretationthatthatissomehowevidenceofawarenessbeingabsent,wheninfactit'stheopposite,it'sevidenceofthepresenceofawareness

ratherthanit'sabsence.Andthathasjustcompletelyflippedeverything

upsidedownintermsofmyownunderstandingoftheimpossibilityofitbeingabsent,seeingthateverythingannouncesawareness,eventhemost

difficultandchallengingstatesandexperiences.

Ifsomethingdisturbingarisesandatthesametimetheresrestingas

awarenessandnotreallyaseparationbetweenwhatsarisingandawareness,thenwhatsarisingisntreallyaproblemandalsostartstobegin

toseeminglyopenandmove.So,Iguessitsseenthrough,buttheresasense

ofitnotreallybeingverysolid.

ImmoreandmoreamazedifdisturbingstatescomeupbecauseIreallysee

thepowerandtheclarity[ofawareness]inthem.

Akeypointistoseethatawarenesscantbethereonitsownits

inseparablefromallappearancesandperceptions.So,everyperceptionisamazinginthatwaybecauseitisthenaturalpresenceofawareness.So,

everythingthenisanopportunitytorealizethatpresence.

Whendifficultstatesarise,theresamuchmorecompassionate

understandingofthefactthatthisisthehumanpredicamentthisisthehumandilemmathisishowwefunctionashumanbeings.Itdoesntmean

theresanythingwrong,andsotheresatotalrelaxation.IdonthaveasensethatIneedtodoanythingaboutit.ItsinterestingbecauseIusedtousealot

morenon-dualtools

[Theresa]progressionfromthinkingthattherearehorriblethingsIwantto

getridoftothey[thosestates]arejustthenaturallightingupofawareness

that'salwayscontinuousandnothingcanupsetthat.It'ssobeautiful.

Andsonow,evenwhenIamyoucoulddescribeitasbeingruffled,Idont

mind.Idontmindbeingruffledanymore.Soratherthan,Imrestingasawarenesstonotberuffledanymore,itsmorethatImseeingthatitsokay

anyway,thatthewholeexpanseisasitis,andthatincludeswhateverlack


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orprogressthatIhaveitsallincludedlikeawonderful,all-

encompassingview.

Itsnotthatanyonethingisrightorwrongorbetterorworseitsthat

everything,everyexperience,equallyfuelstherecognitionofawareness.

Intermsofthistransformedrelationshiptothere-arisingofafflictivestatesandthe

impactofthisintermsofgaininggreaterstabilityinawareness,thethemeof

inseparabilitywasagainevident:

Unlessitsunderstoodthatawarenessisallencompassingandthat

somebodyswillingtoseeifthatstrueintheirownexperience,thentheres

alwaysgoingtoberunningawayfromdisturbingstatesandthisideathatawarenessisanantidotetofeelingafraidImfeelingafraidsoIbetter

realizeawareness,whereasawareness isthefear.

Atsomepoint,theexperiencesareknowntobeawareness.Atsomepointin

thebeginning,wellpackagegoodexperiencesthatmakemefeelgoodasawareness,andthenthesenot-so-goodonesassomethingdifferent.Butthen

theresjustsomepointwheretheso-calledbadonedoesntfeelsobadany

more.Yourecognizethattheexperienceitselfisfuelingtherecognitionofawareness.Thatwashowitwasforme.

Alotoftimesafflictivemindstatesareviewedasanit,itssomethingthatshappeningtome,itishappeningtoyou,andthenverygraduallytheresa

relationshipthatdevelopswiththat-yourehappeningtowhateverthatparticularmindstateis.Andthentheresfinallytherecognitionthatyouare

thatmindstate.

Whilemanyoftheserespondentsfeltthatevenifverypowerfulanddisturbing

patternsofmental-emotionalreactivityoccurred,suchphenomenadidnotrequire

anyparticularactionoractivityinordertoresolvethem(otherthantocontinueto

seethemasappearancesoforinseparablefromthegroundofawareness),anumber

ofstudyparticipantsfeltthatinmanycases,suchexperiencesneededtobe

addressedatapsychologicalorpsychotherapeuticlevelinorderforonetogrow


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morestableintheirrecognitionofawareness.Examplesofthisperspectivecanbe

seeninthefollowing:

Butitwasntlikeinsomepeoplesexperiencetheendofsufferingitwasthe

discoveryofsuffering.ItwasthebeginningofrealizingthattherewasalotofhealingthathadtotakeplacetherewerealotofwoundingIrealizedback

thenthat,Ihadalotofkarmatocleanup.

Peopleoftenhavetodomorepsychologicalsheddingafterwards,because

everythingthatisincompletewillarise.SoifIhadneverdoneallthatwork

ImsureIwouldhavehadtostartfacingawholelotofaspectsofmynaturethatwerestillcorrodedbymyconditioning.

Ithinkthatforalotofpeople,therearesomeleftoverenergiesthatmaybe

justkarmically,havetoberesolvedbeforetheycanreallysurrenderintothe

awakeness.Itmightbeaneedtomakemoney,itmightbeaneedtodealwithsomefamilycrisis,oritmightbesomelackofconfidenceinoneself,it

canbeanything.Butthereisoftensomebigpiecethatarisesthatisnt

finished.

Inmanyways,Ihavefeltthatforpeoplewhohavedoneabunchoftherapyfirst,itsmucheasier,mucheasiertoletawakeningjustbethereandnotthen

objectwhenlifeintervenes.Butifyouveneverdoneanytherapyand

especiallyifyouhaveanytraumainyourhistory,itslikethoseaspectsofthepersonalitykeeparising.Andthenyoufeellike,gee,Iwascompletelyfree

andnowallofasuddenImthis,thisenergyofdepressionorangerishere,

whatsthematter?Whatsthematteris,thewaymyteacherhastalkedaboutitisthatthoseundercurrentpiecesarecomingupbecausetheywant

tobeawakenedtoo,sotheykeeparising.Butmostpeopleunlesstheyhavesomeonelike(myteacher)around,dontrecognizethatswhatitisandthat

itsnotabadthing,andthattheyneedtomeetthem.Theyrejustmeeting

theunfinishedbusinessinthemselves.

Theresverylittlehelpinspiritualtraditionsforthepsychologicalaspectsoflettinggo.Soyoueitherneedsomesystemforthatdissolution.Ifeellike

whenIlistentopeopletalktomyteacher,Imlookingatdifferent

psychologicalstatesthathaventbeenresolved.

Manypeopledevelopanawarenessandtheirbodiesarenotchannels

theyrereceptacles.Theyendupbeingsickandtheyenduphavingalotofproblems.

Ithink,asecondarymovementkicksinthatstartsinquiring,Whatsthisabout,andinawaystartsgettinginterested.Firstinafeelingwayandthen

inakindofanalysisofwhatsgoingon.Whatsgivingrisetothis?ThenkindofanunrelentinginquirywhereIwanttotrytounderstandwhats


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goingontobringanendtoitbecauseIknowtheharmonythatwasthere

beforeandwillbethere.Sotheresakindofanunrelentingtryingtounderstanditandenteringintorelationshipanddialoguetotrytomove

throughit.IgrewupinafamilywheretherewasalotofirritablenessinthefamilyandalotofrepressionandIthinkIkindofembodiedthatasawayof

being.

Severalparticipantssharedthatovertime,theirfocushadshiftedfromtryingto

maketherecognitionofawareness(asanexperience)moreconstantorenduringto

beingmoreinterestedinwhetherornottheresultsofrecognizingawarenesswere

evident.Forexample:

Ithinkformewhathappenedmoreandmorewasthattheresultsof

recognizingawarenesswerebecomingmoreandmorestable.Previously,

myunderstandingwasthatthegoalofthepracticeisthatrecognitionofawarenessasanexperiencebecomesstable.SothatswhatIwastryingtodo

tryingtobringitaboutandthenmaintainit.WhathappenedafterIbecameinvolvedinthisteachingisthatIstartedtorealizethatwhetherornotthe

recognitionofawarenessispresentisntactuallywhatIminterestedin.

WhatImreallyinterestedinisfeelingokay,beingabletorelatenaturally,andbeingabletoshowpeopletothisreliefiftheyreinterestedinthat.

ThatswhatIminterestedin,andthenthisotherthingthatsjustthe

methodthatsbeenexplainedtometoreachthat.SoIrealizedwell,Imgoingtotrustonlytheresults.Intermsofstability,itsnotaquestionof

whetherthereissomeenduringexperienceofawarenessrecognizingitself,butratheristhereastabilityofwellbeing.

MymostafflictivestateafterIwasintroducedtoawarenesswasnon-recognitionofawarenessbecauseIknewthatthis[recognition]holdsallthe

solutionstoeverythingandIcantdoit!Ihadexperienceditdirectlyandnowtonotbeabletoaccessitwas,welljustreallyverydisturbing.Butto

seethatcompleterecognitionofawarenessispossibleeveninthethoughtof,

Idontrecognizeawareness,wasincredible.So,ifsomeoneasksme,Do

youalwaysrecognizeawareness?Iwouldbesittingtherelike,Hmmm.Idontalwaysthinkaboutawarenessanylonger.Iwouldoftenaskmy

teacherforconfirmationAmIdoingitright?Isthisrestingasawareness?Isthisbeingawareofawareness?Inonetalk,shesaid,Well,ifyouwantto

haveacontextformeasuringhowfaryouvecome,justlookatallthebenefitsthatyouhaveinyourlifeandmaybethatyouveprovidedforthe

livesofothers.Andso,Imnotsomuchconcernedanylongeraboutthe

recognitionofawarenessbecauseultimatelythatsanotherpointofview.


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WhatImreallyinterestedinistheincrediblecompassionateintent-thisis

whatIwant.Imcompletelysickandtiredofmyself-improvementprojects,andrecognitionofawarenessbecameaself-improvementprojectformeand

Ididntwanttodothatanylonger.

Itwasalsopointedoutbyseveralparticipantsthatbecomingmorestableorabiding

intherecognitionofawarenessisactuallytoseeandgrowmoreconfidentinthe

factthatawareness,byitsverynatureabides.Asonepersonnoted:

Yeah,awarenessbecomesmoreabidingbecauseyoustoptryingtolookforit,becausehowcanyoufindit.Thewholethingoftryingtolookforsomething

isalreadycreatingadualityoradichotomyandIthinkthat'swhatactually

setsuptheseemingproblem-you'relookingforsomething,lookingforastate.Andwhoyouareisnotastate.Onceyouverecognizedthatthenyou're

goingtohavetogiveupthesearch.Ifyoukeeplookingforitislikeyoufound

yourkeysnowwhyareyoulookingforthemtheyareinyourhandit'sawasteoftime.Itiswhenyougiveuptryingtofindanythingthatyou

recognizethatawarenessabides.awakeningabides.

Insometraditions,oneofthesignsorindicatorsthattherealizationofawareness

hasgrownmorestableandabidingisthatanindividualisabletorecognizethe

presenceofawareness,notonlyduringthewakingstate,butalsointhestatesof

dreaminganddeep,dreamlesssleep.Withthisinmind,participantswereaskedto

reflectontheextenttowhichtherewasanysenseforthemofconsciousnessor

awarenessabidingduringthestatesofdreamingand/orsleeping.

Responsesvaried.Whileaminorityofindividualsreportedthattheyfeltlargely

unawareduringnon-wakingstates,mostrespondentsfeltthattherewasinfact,a

senseofawarenessthatwasevidentevenduringdreamsandsleep(althoughthe

extentofthiswasquitevariable).Ingeneral,thosewhoreportedexperiencing


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somecontinuityofawarenessineitherdreamsordeepsleepsaidthatwhilethis

wasnotsomethingtheyhadreallysoughtoutortriedtocultivate,itseemedtohave

comeaboutquitenaturallyandspontaneously.Inmanycases,theseindividuals

sawtheexperienceofincreasedawarenessthatwasnowmoreevidentduringthe

statesofdreamingandsleepingasanaturaloutgrowthorextensionofawareness

havinggrownmorestableduringthewakingstate.

Whileitwassomewhatmorecommonforpeopletoreportasenseofbeingaware

duringthedreamstate(e.g.,luciddreaming),anumberofindividualsdidalso

reportexperiencesofvaryingdegreesofawarenessbeingpresentduringdeep,

dreamlesssleepaswell,aninterestingfindinggivenourconventionalnotionsofthis

statebeingessentiallyanon-consciousone.

Amongparticipants,therewasalsoconsiderablevariabilityintermsofhowtheyfelt

therecognitionofawarenesshadimpactedthequalityoftheirsleep.Forexample,

onepersonreportedthefollowing:

ImawarethatImdreamingandImalsoquiteawarewhenIsnore.Im

awareofsleeping,often.Probablytheonlydownsideofthiswhole

awakeningprocessisthatIthinkthequalityofsleepishugelydisturbed.

Incontrast,anotherparticipantsaid:

IthinkIfallasleepasquicklyasIdo(evenifIhavetogetupearlytopeeandthengo

backtosleepafterwards)becauseIsimplydropfullyintoawareness.


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Onepersonsharedthatearlieronintheirprocess,theawakeningtoawareness

seemedtohavedisruptedsleep.However,theirpresentexperiencewasthateven

withverylittlesleep,theirbodyappearedtofunctionquitewell.

Aftertheawakening,ohmygoodness,itwaslikeallIcouldcallitwouldbe

awaresleep.Italsoaffectedthebody.TherewereacoupleofyearswhereI

wasjustexhausted,thebodywasexhausted.Itwouldalsokeepthebodyawake.Andnowthebodygetsmaybethreeorfourhoursofsleepandwhen

ImathometherewillbesometimeswhenIdontevensleepatnight,becauseIcanwriteorworkorwhatever.Butthebodysnevertired.

Belowareseveralquotesfromparticipantsillustratingthevarieddegreetowhich

theydexperiencedawarenessaspresentinnon-wakingstates.

ThatsneverreallybeensomethingthatIhaveexplored[recognizing

awarenessindreamsandsleep].IjustgotosleepandsometimesIhavedreamsandsometimesIdont.

IwouldsaythatIonlyhavesomeexperienceofawarenessduringsleepinganddreaming.Idon'tknowwhybutwhenItravelonaplane,thereisthe

senseofrestingdeeplyorsleeping,andalsosortofbeingawakein

awarenessatthesametime.Thereisarefreshingqualityandaclaritythroughoutitwhenawarenessispresentduringsleeping.Iknow

instinctivelyandlogicallythatthepowerofthisexperiencewhichI'vehadonlylimitedlyduringsleepisthatitshowsusthatthereisnotanindividual

that'ssleepingwhoconksoutandthenwakesupagainandexperienceslife

andactivityduringthedaybutthattheindividualthatssleepingisjustapointofview,aphenomenonlikeanyotherexperienceanditisawareness

that'scontinuousthroughoutallstates.So,thereisreallynotanindividualthatgoesthroughthesestatesthesenseofanindividualisjustthethoughts

oremotionsthatarepointsofviewappearinginawareness.

IbelievemysensebeforetheshiftwasmorethatIwasacharacterinthe

dreamthatwasexperiencingallthesedifferentthings.Myexperienceof

dreamingnowisalittlebitdifferent-IfeelmorelikeI'mwatchingamoviebutit'snotsomuchlikeImacharacterinit.Theysayweareallthe

charactersinourdreamsbutIjustmeanthatit'snotsomuchlikeit'shappeningtomeasmuch.SometimesImacharacterintherebutmoreoften

thannotIfeellikeI'mwatchingscenes.Icanoftenbeinadreamandifit's

negative,likeit'sunpleasant,somethingwillpopintothedreamandjustgo,


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Imgoingtojustchangethechannel-Idon'thavetowatchthisbecausethis

isjustthenextpassingthing.IthinkI'llhaveanicedreamnow,ormaybeI'lljustgetupnow,I'llwakeupandgotothebathroom.It'sjustasensethat

thereismoreIguesswhatmightbecalledlucidnesspresent.

Somenights,awarenessisthere;othernightsImjustcompletelycaughtup

inthedream.ItsconsistentlygrowingwhereIrecognizeinthedream,Okay,thisisaquitebizarrestoryandIcanjustchoosetogetoutofit.But

Ivealsohadacoupleofverystrongdreamsofrecognizingthatnothingneed

bedoneaboutanything.Itreallyhasbeenaprofoundteaching,wakingupinthemorningandjustfeelingevenmorerelief,seeingthatyoualwayshave

thatchoice.Itjustshowsthecompleteindivisibilityofallexperience,thatwhetherwakingordreaming,itisallthebasicstateofawareness.Itjust

showsthatthispersonalidentityisalsoanappearanceofawareness,apoint

ofviewinawareness.Justseeingthatyouhavetheabilityindreamstomakeadecisiontorestasawarenessornotispowerful.

Inresponsetothequestionwhethertheydeverrecognizedawarenessduringdeep

sleep,severalpeoplecommentedthattheysometimescouldnottellwhetherthey

wereasleeporawake.Forexample:

TherearenightswhereIthoughtIhadntsleptverymuchbutIvebeenvery

restfulandIwonderedifIthoughtIwasawakebutwasntreallyawakeI

justdontknow.

Sometimesthereisbrightnessinthatdepthofreallydeepsleep.Imeanitwouldbekindoftoomuchtosaythisbutit'salmostlikealittlesmileisthere

hangingoutinsleep.There'sasenseoftherefreshmentofitasit's

happening.Idon'tknowmyhusbandwillask,Howdidyousleep.Andoften,Icanthinkoftimeswherewellsaytoeachother,Idon'tknowbutthe

experienceseemslikeImnotsureifIwasawakeorasleeplastnight.ItslikewhoknowsyoudhavetohookusuptoamachineIguess!

Otherparticipantsreportedquitedefinitively,thattheyhadexperiencedawareness

aspervadingnotonlythedreamstate,butdeepsleepaswell.Forexample:

Idon'tsleep.Thebodygoestobed,dreamsappear,thewakingstateappears,

andunstructuredperceptionslikenoiseappearinthedeepsleepphase.ButIdon'tsleep.Iamalwaysawake.Awarenesshasalwaysbeenaware-wehave


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neverbeenasleep.Youcansleeponlyifyouidentifywiththesleepingentity,

notwithawareness.

Idontknowifitsfundamentallynecessary,butitwasmypath.Therewasa

lotofluciddreaming,evenbeforemyawakeningthenduringandafterit.Andthenverygradually,luciditydroppedawayandtherewasjustdreaming

buttherewasnotanissueanymore,likethereisnotanawarenessthatsstandingapartfromthedreamasyoumighthaveinaluciddream.So,itwent

throughaphaselikeaseparatewitness(e.g.,Ohwow,I'mdreamingandI'm

awarethatI'mdreaming)tonotevenbeingconcernedaboutthatanymore.Andthesamethingwithdeepdreamlesssleep.BeingawakewhileIsleptwas

veryprofound,likewhat[Ken]Wilberreferstoasconstantconsciousness-goingtosleep,butnevergoingtosleepeventhougheighthourswouldgoby

likethis(snapsfingers.)Thatstilloccursevennowlikejustlastnight,Ifeltas

ifIneverwenttosleepbutIdidgotosleep.Soit'stherebutit'salmostlikeincidentalnow.Idon'tknowhowtosaythisinwords,butI'lldomybest.It's

justlikeasenseofcontinuityandthereisaconstantcontinuityallthetime.IgotosleepbutIdon'tgotosleep.Iwakeupandtheresthatpresence.There'sjustthisconstantthing.Thenthere'snoticingit,butnotnoticingit-

it'snotimportanttonoticeitanymore.

Especiallyintimeswhentheressomethingthathappensandthispurityof

awarenesskindoframpsupbecomesverybright,Illfindmyselfthebodyissleepingallnightlong,buttheresacontinuityofawarenessawareness

beingawareofawarenessallthewaythroughthenightandthereareimages

Iwouldcalldreamsthatarehappening,butthepervasivenessissostrongandthereareothertimesitfeelslikethatrampsdownandgetsverylow

voltageandthendreamingmaytakeover.Theremaybemomentsoflucidityawarenessofdreaming,butIwouldsayinawayIvelostinterest.Tome,it

isjustanothermovementofphenomena,thatImnomorecuriousaboutmy

dreamsthanIamanotherfeelingImayhaveduringtheday.

TherewasanotherexperiencethatIhadindeepsleepitscloseto

indescribableifatalldescribable-whereIcouldseethatawarenessdoesntdependonthebrain,whichwasoneofthethingsthatIstillheldto,thatthere

mustbeaconnectionbetweenawarenessandthebrain.ButIknewthatmyelectronical(brain)patternwouldntallowforawarenessinthatvery

momentbecauseeverythingwasjustdeadasleep,andyetIwashavingthe

experienceofspaciousawareness.Thatjustshowedmethatitsexactlythesameawarenessinallstates.Imnottooobsessedwithtryingtoremain

awareasIfallasleepbecauseIthinkthatsaboutwhatweneedtolearnfromtheseexperiences.


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Duringtheinterview,oneparticipant,inresponsetothisquestionaboutthe

presenceofawarenessduringdreamsandsleepsharedthathedneverreally

consideredthatbefore.Hesaidhewouldpayattentionthenextnightand

proceededtowritethefollowing:

Ipaidattentionlastnightandfoundthatyes,infact,awarenesscontinuesthroughsleepanddreamsandofcourse,uponwakingupinthemorning!

Severalparticipantsalsoreportedthatthepresenceofawarenessduringsleepwas

mostrecognizablewhilesnoring:

Forme,itwasquiteaprofoundexperienceitwasntluciddreamingitwas

lucidsnoring.Ioftenthoughtofmyselfasaloudsnorer,andIvehadseveralexperiencesofnoticingthissnoringgoingon,andthenbecomingawareof

thefactthatImsnoring.Imasleep,butImcompletelyawareofthatsnoringthatImmaking.Itsoundsquitefrivolous,butthewholethingoflucid

snoringwasveryinteresting,toseethattheconventionaldescriptionsof

awarenessandconsciousnessandwherethoselimitsareandwhereawarenessbeginsandends,infactreallydontapply.

Anumberofsubjectsspokeabouttheimpactthatrecognizingawarenessindreams

andsleephadhaduponthem,particularlyintermsofstrengtheningasenseof

confidenceintheall-pervading,ever-presentnatureofawareness.Forexample:

ThefewoccasionswhenIhaverealizedthatIamdreamingorsleepinghave

beenwonderfullyinsightfulandsupportiveofmyconvictioninthenatureofreality.

Itsupportedmyconfidenceinknowingthenatureofallappearances.

Whatisreallyimportantinitiallyaboutitisjusttoseethattheawareness

thatisawareduringthedayisthesameawarenessthatsawareduringdreamsandsleep.Andthenyoureallygetitthattherestotalfreedom,total

freedom.


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Severalrespondentsalsosharedthattherecognitionofawarenessduringthedream

stateservedtoinasensefurtherreinforcetheirunderstandingaboutthe

insubstantial/emptynatureofphenomena.Forexample:

Oneofthemostimpressiveluciddreamsformewastodrinkwaterandto

feelthewaterrunningdownmythroatandknowingthereisnowaterinmy

throat.[Laughing]Tohavethatexperiencethatthewateristherethatitstotallythere!ItfeltevenmorerealbecauseIneverattendtothewater

runningdownmythroatbecauseImnotpracticingmindfulness[Laughing].Itjustfeltlike,Wow,thatsamazingwhatdoesthatsayaboutthistable

(pointstotable)?Itisverypowerfulwhenyoureawakeinadreamandyou

havethatexperienceofsolidityatthesametimeknowingitsnot.

FromthetimeIwasatinylittlegirlIwouldhavethesamerecurring

nightmare.Thesceneofitwouldbedifferent,butitwouldbethesamething.Iwouldbebeingchasedbythisbighugeominousthingthatwouldgrabme

andticklemy.Thatwasmymostdreadedthing.AndIcouldntgetawayfromitandIcouldnotstopit.Andthatfollowedmeallthroughintomyadulthood.

Andthen,onenightitstarted,andallthefearcameup.AndIjustthought,

Thisisadream.Iamdreaming.Andyouknow,thiswholecrowdwascomingatmereadytoandIjustrealized,Thisisadream!Andsuddenly

everythingchanged.AndIwascompletelyawareinthedream.AndIknewI

coulddoanythingIwantedto.AndthenitwentintoanothernightmareIdhavewhereIwasstandingonthetippypeakofathousand-storybuilding.

AndthewindwasblowingandIusedtojustprayIwouldntfall.Thisisadream!Imgoingtofly!Iknewinthatinstant,Wow!Thisisallawareness.

Thereisnothingsolidhere.Justlikeduringtheday.Thiswasavery

profoundexperience.Butyouknow,itwasprofoundinthatIrealizedasweresittingheretoday,itisnodifferentthenwhenImdreamingallthese

thingsatnight.Butjustlikeanyotherprofoundexperience,itsnotanywheretolayoneshat.

Tobeawareduringsleepordreams-whatitshowedmewasthatawareness

isjustalwayspresentthatsleepisapointofviewaswell.TherehavealsobeeninsightswhichIdidntmakeanythingoutofbutthatIcouldsee

clarifiedordeepenedmyunderstandingofthenatureofsolidity,knowingthatImdreamingandjustseeingthatindreamsthingsappearequallysolid

andthattheydontexistontheirown.Ihadadirectsenseofsomethingbeingstableorsolid,seeingtheinseparabilityofawarenessandallappearances

whetherinthedreamorawaketheywereequalappearancessosuddenly

therewasastreamofcompleteawarenessandallitsexperiences.Soevery


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nowandthentheexperienceoffallingasleepandjustrecognizingand

maintainingawarenessandseeingthatthereisneveracutorastopneveranendorbeginning.Mostlybywakingupdreamingandthenwakingupso

tospeakjustbeforereallywakingupandseeingthenon-conceptualstateandalsohowonebyone,thoughtbythoughtIbuildupwhereamIandwhat

amIjustputtingallthesepointsofviewtogether.

Dreamstatesareawonderfulopportunitytorecognizethefleetingness,the

mirage-likeappearancesofphenomena.IdodreamandIamawareofmy

dreamssoImawarethatImdreamingandIhavetheabilitytochangemydreamsthephenomenaaroundmydreams.ItsnotsomethingItriedtodo

Ijustfoundmyselfbeingawareofmydreamsandthennotlikingthewayadreamwasgoingandbeingableto,WellIhavetheabilitytochangearound

thephenomenaandIwouldntsayitslikereplacingitbecauseIcouldnt

takeit,butlike,Thisisnotabeneficialstory.[Laughing]SowhenIsleep,sometimesIdontremembersleepingatall,butcominghereIsleptmostof

thewayontheairplane,butIknewitwouldbebeneficialformetobeawareofmysurroundings.Ididnthavetothinkaboutit.So,IwasawareofmyspaceasIwassleepingandstilltotallysleeping.Again,itbuildsconfidence

whenwecanseethatwereawareinourdreamsandwereawarewhilewesleepandwereawarewhilewereawakeandthatawarenessisjust

naturallypresentallthetime.TherewasonepointIrecognized,Wow,Im

awareeverytimeIdream.AndthentherearetimeswhenImsleepingwhereIamtotallyawarethatImsleeping.Sothisreallynowis24/7thisis

stable.

Finally,afewrespondentsnotedthattheirrelianceonthequalitiesofawareness

seemedtohavepervadedthedreamstate,eveniftheywerenotnecessarily

consciouslyawarewhiledreaming.Forexample,oneparticipantsharedthe

following:

Ihavefoundthatmytendencytorelyonthequalitiesofawarenesshasalsogrowninmydreams,withoutnecessarilyknowingthatIamdreaming.So

thereisagrowingsenseofstability,peaceandresponsivenessinboth

dreamingandwakinglifealike.

RoleofPractice

Whilenotaskedspecificallyabouttheirviewsontheroleofspiritual/contemplative

practiceinrealizingthegroundofawareness,anumberofparticipantsdiscussed


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theirrelationshipstoandhistoryengaginginvariouspracticesandtheirfeelings

abouttheextenttowhichsuchpracticeswerenecessaryinordertorecognize

awareness.Themajorityofrespondentsseemedtofeelthatbecauseawarenesswas

alreadyandalwayspresent,practicessuchasmeditationwerenotnecessaryin

ordertobringaboutthisawarenessnoritsrecognition.Asonesubjectnoted:

IwasinvolvedinmeditationandIthoughtthattheremustbeadestinationsomewherecalledawareness.Thentoseethattherewasnothingtomakeor

togetintoandthenalsonothingtofalloutof,thatawarenessisfull-blown

present,andthispresencecannotbeaffectedbyanything.Soknowingthis,alltheefforttogetsomewhere,tofindawarenesssimplydropped.

Similarly,anotherparticipantshared:

IwasinameditationretreatandIsawthatawarenessthatwhats

observing-isthespaceinwhicheverythingappears.Anditneednotbesoughtorcultivated.AndInevermeditatedagain.

Finally,thefairlypoorsuccessrateofpracticeswerehighlightedbyseveralsubjects:

Allthesepractices-yoga,meditation,satsang-whatisthesuccessrate?EvenifIwasbeingreally,reallyfavorableyoucouldsay1in1000.Butit's

probablymorelike1in100,000.Ifyouappliedthatsuccessratetoanyother

humanendeavoryouwouldsayit'sacatastrophicfailure.It'slike,whyareyoumeditating,you'vegotlessthana1/1000percentchanceoffindingwhat

you'relookingfor.Someditatingdoesn'tworkintermsofprovidinganultimategoal.Wejustloseallourfacultieswhenitcomestospiritual

endeavors.It'smuchmoreeffectivetojusttellpeoplethattherecognitionof

theirself-perfectnaturecanoccurwhereveryouare-meditating,doingyoga,whereveryouare.

Interestingly,somerespondentsfeltthatwhilethepracticestheydengagedinhad

ultimatelyrevealedthefutilityofpracticesbecausetheyessentiallyamountedto

tryingtoattainwhatonealreadywas(awarenessorbeing),theystillfeltsuch

practicesandtherealizationoftheirultimatefailurewassomehownecessary.


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IwouldneverhaveawakenedtothatrealityifIhadntdonethework.And

yet,theworkultimatelyfailedanditwasonlywhenIquitdoingtheworkthatitworked.

Oneparticipantfeltthatmeditationwasnotonlyhelpful,butmaybeessentialto

gainingstabilityinawareness.

Ireallyemphasizemeditationinmyteaching,whichIknowalotofnon-dualteachersdont.Butmyexperienceisthatifsomebodyhasmeditatedalotand

thentheyhaveanawakeningtheyknowwheretogotovisitit.Whenthey

meditatetheygointostillnessoremptinessorvastnessorpeace,evenforalittlewhile.Tomethatslikeaportalintopureawareness.Themoreyou

marinateinthatthemoreaccessibleitiswhenyouarenotmeditating.Tome,itsasifthatprimaryconditionisalwayshereandthentheres,asIsaid,

thischaracter.Formostofourlivesthischaracterdominatesanddominates.

Meditationisawayofstrengtheningthisoneandweakeningtheotherone.Ithinkthatswhysomanypeoplewakeupbuttheydontstabilizebecause

theynevermeditated.

ImpactonLife

Alongwithdescribingthecentralrolethattherealizationofawarenessplaysinthe

resolutionofsuffering,participantswereaskedtocommentonthespecificimpact

thattherecognizingawarenesshashadupontheirdaily,livedexperience.Anumber

ofthemesemergedcenteringaroundthefollowing:theendofseekingorsearching

foranythingelse;thebeneficialimpactonrelationships;therealizationofwisdom

andcompassion;anenhancedcapacityforresponsivenessandskillfulnessindaily

life,asenseoffearlessness,andanaturalmotivationtobeofservice.

Intermsofrelationships,participantsspoketoanumberofwaysthisdomainhad

beenimpactedbytherecognitionofawareness.


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Ifeelmuchmoreconnectedtootherpeople,butnotconnectedintheneedy

codependentwaythatIoncewasbutjustaliteralconnection.Whenourownagendagetsoutoftheway,wecanreallyfeelinamuchmorevisceral

levelwhatotherpeoplearegoingthrough.

IthinkthewaythatIcommunicatehasbeenprofoundlyimpactedby

awareness.Mycapacitytodeeplylistentoaso-calledother,withoutanyneedtoeitheragreeordisagreeorchangetheirpointofview,haschanged

mywholelife.

IfmyhusbandandIhavesomekindofdisagreement,thereseemstobea

reallyquickdissolvingofanysenseofsubstancetoeitherofourpositions,

andless,IguessIcouldusethewordpreferenceorattachmenttoapositionoroutcome.Sothingsaremuchmorefluidandmovingandmuchmoreopen.

Andactually,theotherpartofitisthattherealbasisofourconnectionisthisrestingofourawareness.

Ihaveadaily,moment-to-momentrealizationthatIamatoneandoneineverymomentlivingthisparadoxofbeinginrelationshipwithaprofound

understandingthatthereisnoother.

Thereisarestinginalargerspace.ItkindoffeelslikeloveIcouldcallit

love.Itseemstobejustanaturalarisingwithawareness.Itsapartoftherecognitiontheresjustmoreopennessandlessfeelingofanything

betweenmeandeverybodyelse,exceptforthisfullnessofspace.

Becausefromthevastnesstheresnoneedforsomethingtobeacertainway,

thentheresreallisteninginthat.Ithinkwisdomistheabilitytolisten.And

theresreallearningandalsotheabilitytoallowsuffering,whichiscompassion.

TheconnectionthatwehavebecauseofthisIdontevenknowwhatwords

toputaroundit.Insteadofthinking,Well,Ineedtodothistobecomea

betterpersonandyouneedtodothattobecomeabetterperson,andhavingalltheseconditionsaroundeverything,justtobewithsomeoneandhaveno

agendaissofreeing.

IthinkgenerallywhatIenjoymostisthatIfeelsoblessedwiththe

experienceofuttersolidity.Andinanothersenseoftheword,independence,butatthesametimecompleteconnectednesstowhateverappearsinmylife.

Inmyrelationships,thereisntthesameclingingthattherewasinthepast.Butyourestillpresent.Infact,youremaybemorepresentforthemasfaras

doingthingsandbeinginthemomentwiththem,buttheattachmentisgone.


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Intermsoftheimpactofrecognizingawarenessononesrelationships,several

participantsspokespecificallyaboutlove:

Whenawarenessgetsdiscoveredinallofitsglory,itrevealsitselfasabsolute

splendor,absoluteintelligence,butalsoabsolutelove.Loveistheenergyofawareness.Intelligenceisthelightofawareness,butloveistheenergyin

awareness.Sobasically,whatawarenessdoesforalivingistoloveitself.The

activityofawarenessislove.Asthesenseofseparationfallsaway,itfallsawayfromtheinsideout.Thereisanimmediate,wecouldsay,destruction

insideattheverycoreofignoranceandthenthereisaripplethatgraduallypermeatesalltherealmsofone'slife-thewaywethink,thewaywefeel,the

wayweperceivetheworld,thewayweactintheworld,thewayweinteract

withothers.Solet'stakethewaywethink.Wedon'tthinkanylongerofourselvesasaseparateentity.Andasaresultwethinkofourselvesas

universalconsciousness.Andbythesametokenasweseeourselves,weseeothers,right?Soifwedon'tseeourselvesasaseparateentity,it'sonlynaturalnottoseeothersasseparateentitiesbutasbeingattheverycoreof

theirsubstance,thisverysameconsciousness.Andthat'sloverightthere.Youseethat'sloveinrelationship,that'sloveindealingwithotherswhen

therearenoothers.

Severalparticipantsalsospokeabouthowtheydexperiencedatransformationin

termsofagreatersenseofeaseandopennesstobeinginrelationalsituationsthatin

thepast,theydeithertriedtoavoidorhadexperiencedasdifficultinsomeway.For

instance:

Yourecognizeyourtruenature,whichisjustcompletelyrelaxedand

completelywideopenandacceptingofpeople.Youstarttoseethisineveryoneelse.Everyoneusedtoannoyme-IdidntlikeanyoneandIdidnt

likemyself.IwasverygoodatprovingtootherpeoplehowpointlesstheirideaswerebecauseofeverythingIknewandthatIcouldproveittothem.To

befreeofallthisandactuallytobeabletositwithsomeonewhoIpreviously

wouldofthoughtwasacompleteidiot,andjustthinktheyrethemostamazingpersonanditsgotnothingtodowithwhattheybelievein.

Peoplewhousedtoreallyannoymelikemystepmother,whoIalwayshadtroublewithfromthefirsttimeIsawher.Ididntlikeherandshedidntlike

me.Andtojustbeabletobeinthatcircumstancenowwithouthavingtodoanything-tojustbethereandbecompletelyharmoniousnothavingto

proveanything.Andatthesametimestillpreferringtohangoutwithmy


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mom.Youknow,itsjustcompletelynaturalwithoutanythingintheway,

ever.

Iusedtospendweeksjustinmyhousenotgoingoutapartfrommaybethe

studioandthings.Idmuchratherjuststayinandnotseeanyone.That'sonehugethingtobeabletobeopenandenjoythecompanyofstrangers.That's

justamazing.

Onerespondentsharedthattheythemselveshasbeenaverydifficultpersontobe

inrelationshipwithandthattheymarveledathowtheawakeningtoawarenesshad

sototallytransformedthewaytheywerewithothers.

IusedtosaywhenIwaspracticinglawthatmymottowas,Seekpleasure,avoidpain.ThatshowIusedtolivemylife.Anythingthatwasntgoingthe

wayIwanteditthatgotslappeddownorpushedout.Iwasarealjerkwhen

IwasalawyerandIranmylifeinaveryselfishandbrutallyjudgmentalwaythatendedupmakingsurethatmeandmyfamilydidntgethurt,butnot

beingmuchconcernedaboutanybodyelse.NowIwouldsaythatIlivemylifemoment-to-moment,welcomingwhatevercomesalongandopentoevery

possibilityastowhatthenextmomentmightbring.

Thissamepersoncommentedaboutthewayinwhichtherelationshipwithhiswife

hadalsobeentransformed.

Myrelationshipwithmywifechangedtotallytoanopennessandalackofneedinessthathasdeepenedthatrelationshipincredibly.Awillingnessto

acceptpeopleforwhattheyareandtobeingfrankwithyoutoacceptan

adulteryandgetpastittolivingwiththiswonderfulperson,insteadofareactionIwouldhavehadofthrashingsomeonetoapulpandtossingoutthe

personIwaslivingwith.Thatdidntevencrossmymindasanoption.

Severalpeoplecommentedthatwhiletheyonceviewedhavingparticular

relationshipsasaconditionforwell-being,thisdynamichadessentially

disappeared.Forexample:


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SomethingthatformeisremarkableisthatIwasbankingoneithera

relationshipwithfantasticsexorjusttobeinarelationship,andthat'scompletelygone.ButIjustfindtherearealotmoreattractivepeoplethanI

evernoticedbefore.It'sgreatyouknow.Ijustseebeautyineveryone.

Iusedtoreallybelievethatanintimateorromanticrelationshipwas

somethingIneededinmylifeandthatthatiswherecomfortandsecurityandwell-beingwere.ThatwasjustaveryconventionalwaythatIthought,

believingthatthiswasessential.Butthathascompletelyresolved.Now,

theresaconnectionwitheveryoneandeverythingsotheresnolongeraneedtofocusononepersoninparticular.Infact,itfeelsimpossibleformeto

dothat,whichisreallyinteresting.AndtheresneveratimewhereIfeellonelyanymore.Thosesensationsjusthaventappeared.Andifanyofthat

weretocomeupformeinthefuture,IjustthinkIllbefine.Itiswhatitis.It

doesntfeellikeitsamatterofnothavinganyofthisarise,butreallyunderstandingtheoriginofit.

Mostparticipantssharedtheviewthattherecognitionofawarenesshadawakened

inthemanaturalcompassion.Forexample,onerespondentshared:Theflavorof

purebeingfeelslikeithasreallyawokenaninnatecapacityforcompassionandlove

thatwasalwaysthereitjustfeelslikeitbroughtitonline.Anothercommented

that,Therecognitionofawarenesshasenlivenedsuchaburningcompassion.

Relatedtothis,athemethatemergedwasthesenseonthepartofmostparticipants

thatseeingveryclearlyintotherootsofsufferinginoneselfgivesrisetoavery

naturalmovementofempathyandcompassionforwhatothersareexperiencing.

Examplesofthiscanbeseeninthefollowing:

Itsnotacompassionlike,Ifeelsorryforyoubecauseyourehurting.Itsmoreofacompassionthatseeshowthemindfunctionsandseeshowlosta

personisbecauseofhowtheyrefunctioning.

Ifeelamuchgreatersenseofcompassion-thewordthatcametomindwasidentification,butitsthewrongword.Itsreallyaknowingoran

understandingofwhatotherpeoplearegoingthrough.AndbeingwiththatI

thinkleadstogreatercompassion.


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Whenyouhavethatunderstandingandclarityofseeingthegameyouve

beenplayingwithyourselfthatis,believingintheindependentnatureofallyourthoughtsandemotionsandexperiencesandfeedingthemthispower

andbuildingthemupintothesereallyimportantthings-onceyouseethatinyourself,youseevery,veryclearlythatthatiswhateverybodyisdoing.You

seethatthereasonwhytheoverwhelmingmajorityofpeopleintheworldarebehavingthewaytheyrebehavingisbecausetheyrerepeatingthesamepatternthatyouknowsowellinyourself.Thecompassionstartswith

yourselfwhenyouseewhatyouvebeenputtingyourselfthroughandthatit

issocompletelyunnecessarily.Theresthatsenseofreliefofnothavingtodothatandthathugecompassionofseeingwhatyouvebeendoingandthe

wayyouvebeenrelatingtootherpeoplefromthatspace.Youseethatevenpeoplewhobehaveanddothemosthorrificthingstothemselvesandother

people,thatitsallthesamepatternbeingrepeated.Andsoevenwithpeople

whovecommittedwhatsconventionallycalledevilacts,theresjustthishugesenseofcompassion,anditdoesntmeanyoucondonetheactsor

anythingstupidlikethat.Butyouhaveaclarityandanunderstandingofwhytheyredoingwhattheyredoing,andrealizeitsthesamepattern.Theparticularsetofcircumstancesandemotionsandthoughtstheyarebelieving

inmaybeunique,butthepatternisexactlythesame.Andso,thatsrealcompassion.

Manyparticipantsexpressedtheviewthatawarenesswasactuallyinseparablefrom

bothwisdomandcompassion.

These[wisdomandcompassion]justfeellikenaturalqualities.Iknowfora

factthatitsnotlearned.IjustknowthatbecauseItriedtolearnit,Ireallydid!AndIwasntverysuccessful.Again,thatinstinctiverecognitionof

whatsmostnaturalrevealsthosenaturalqualitiesandIdobelievethatthey

arequalities,emanationsofthebasicstateofawareness.AndIsee,notonlyfrommyownexperience,butfromeveryoneImwith,everyoneIworkwith,

theexactsamethingunfoldsforthemthesameinsights.Regardlessoftheircircumstancesinlife,wereallrecognizingexactlythesamething.Thats

prettytellingverymuchevidencethatthesequalitiesarejustnaturally

occurringandnaturallypresent.

Therelationshipbetweenawarenessandthedevelopmentofwisdomand

compassion?Well,theyrenotrelatedtheyreabsolutelyinseparable!

Wisdomisrecognizingwhoweare.Andcompassionofcoursejustarisesnaturallyoutoftherecognitionthattherearen'ttwo.Seeingthatthereisno

separation,naturallycompassionwillarisebecauseyouseetheotherperson

asnotseparate.So,it'snotsomethingwehavetothinkaboutI'mgoingto


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stabilityisamazinganditsfantastic,butitsonlythebeginning.Itsounds

likequiteaclaim,butjusttoseethewaythisspontaneousunderstandingandsolvingofproblemsjustoccursfromthissamespaceofopenness.

Doesawarenessrepresentanotherwayofknowing?Well,thatcansoundabittooesotericandmysterious.Thatcanbethecaseoritcanappearlike

thatsometimes.Butitsoftenmuchmoredown-to-earththanthat.Weallknowwhenyourerelaxedyoudoeverythingbetterandthatcanbequite

vigorous,soitsnotapassivestate.Butwhenyourerelaxed,youreableto

makebetterdecisions,whetherthatsofaphysicalnatureorofatechnicalnatureorofanaturetodowithrelationshipofwhateverkind.Soitsreally

sopractical.Yourejustrelaxedinanysituation.Andfromthatrelaxedspace,youjustseeawholerangeofsolutions.Yourereallyexpandingthe

breadthofvision.Yourejustbeingopenandrelaxedandreallyperceptually

astutebecauseyourenotcomingatitthroughanyfiltersorframesofreferenceorbeliefsystems.

ThecompleterelianceonconsciouslogicalanalyticalthoughtasbeingtheonlywaytocometoanunderstandingandImnotinanywaydenigrating

thatconsciousrationalapproachIloveit,butImalsonolongerlimitedbyit.Imopentoallowingsolutionstooccurfromwithintheproblemsbecause

thesolutionsarenotseparatefromtheproblems.

Inoticedthatmycapacitytofunctioninareallysimpleandeffectivewayhas

dramaticallyincreased.AndmyabilitytoseeclearlyhowIcanfunctionas

humanbeingwhereIcandirectmyenergyforthegreatestbenefit.

Anumberofrespondentscommentedthatthedesiretobeofserviceseemedtobea

naturalresultofrecognizingoneselfasinseparablefromawareness.Forexample:

Wit

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The Discovery of Awareness - Full Report