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Tackling the harmful effects of loneliness
“Loneliness is an emotionally distressing state that
stems from a discrepancy between the social
connection you desire and what you have.”– Peplau & Perlman, 1982
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Loneliness is not the number of friends you have
It is a widespread issue that seriously affects health.
The Loneliness Epidemic
“The reduction in lifespan [for loneliness] is
similar to that caused by smoking 15 cigarettes
a day, and it’s greater than the impact on life
span of obesity.”
- Former U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek H. Murthy3
Loneliness is a big deal...
Loneliness predicts current and future depressive symptoms1, suicide ideation, and self-harm behavior in youth2
Lonely youth also report lower sleep quality, greater perceived stress, and higher anxiety 3
This is especially true of AYAs with chronically high levels of loneliness, although moderate loneliness also puts youth at risk 4
1. (e.g. Goosby et al., 2002; Wei et al., 2005) 2. (e.g., Jones et al., 2011; Gallagher et al., 2014; Schinka et al., 2012) 3. (e.g. Matthews et al., 2017; Vanhalst et al., 2013) 4. (van Dulmen &
Goossens, 2013).4
Loneliness is on an alarming rise among young people
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Social media is playing a role
Studies are inconclusive on exactly how social
media affects loneliness, but we know social media
is changing the way we relate to others.
Preliminary evidence indicates… the rich get richer
poor get poorer
At HopeLab, we want to do something about loneliness
To foster more authentic, supportive social
connections in daily life
To help young people make and maintain reliable
friends to turn to during hard times
To decrease the number of young people struggling
with social isolation, anxiety, depression and other
challenging health conditions
8Hopelab — Confidential
About Hopelab
9Hopelab — Confidential
About Hopelab
Inspired by hope, realized by science.
Hopelab is a social innovation lab focused
on designing science-based technologies to
improve the health and well-being of teens
and young adults. We are a non-profit
funded by the Omidyar family.
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The Hopelab approach
Our process combines behavioral science and human-centered design - we develop or adapt interventions to improve health and well-being of teens and young adults. We engage young people deeply in our design and development process. Hopelab is a philanthropy, but we give through partnership and the services of our team rather than through grants. We’re eager to work with payers and providers interested in innovating to better serve their beneficiaries.
#winning = measurable and durable impact on the
health and well-being of young people…at
scale
What we’ve learned so far
No one teaches you how to friend
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Friendship is modeled through parents and communities,
and tested through interactions with classmates and
friends and relatives. Though some young people have
helpful examples to pull from, in large part, no one
teaches you how to make friends. So many young people
are going at it alone and encountering challenges along
the way. “My parents don’t have friends...I never really understood
kids my age. I asked my aunts and teachers how to make
friends, but they weren’t that helpful.”
Tackling loneliness goes beyond just meeting new people
Tools and advice tends to be limited to ‘getting out
there’ and meeting new people. But the less
frequently addressed challenge is going beyond
meeting to growing healthy, strong relationships.
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Friend finding apps are modeled on dating apps
User review “It felt a little strange to swipe left and
essentially decide whether I wanted to be friends
with someone based on their profile photo. Never, in
real life, have I rejected a potential friend based on
their appearance in a couple of photographs.”
Beliefs about friendship affect behavior
“No I don’t ask them [Soccer teammates] to do
anything. They’re probably busy. Friendship
just takes time.”
“My best friend, she likes to vent when we get
together. I have a lot going on too, but I feel like
I don’t want to complain because other people
have it worse. So I just deal with it, you know?”
People don’t speak frankly about loneliness
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Loneliness has deep stigma in our culture.
We need a good excuse that brings people
together.
“How to” questions are often openers to deeper
conversations
“I ask my friends for advice on how to break bad news, or
how to open a bank account in this new city since I’ve just
moved here. Other conversation comes from there.”
Challenge: Connecting
Fears rejection or judgement
from others, so they cut
themselves off from even
hoping for friends and don’t
put themselves out there.
The Resigned
Challenge: Building
Actively practicing how to
meet people and be a friend.
Hesitant to expect
reciprocation from friends, so
they don’t share when they
need support.
The Hopeful
Challenge: Evolving,
Connecting
Lucky that someone else
made the effort to befriend
them. Fears any transition
point that can change their
close friendships.
The Settled
Practiced in connecting,
building, and evolving
friendships. Has a resilient
perspective on friendships
that helps them deal with
setbacks and keep trying.
The Seasoned
What can we do?
Start the conversation
Connect
Evolve
Beliefs
People will judge me for being lonely
New friends are always judging you.
You can’t count on people to be there when you really need them.
It’s impossible to change people
It’s risky to trust other people with personal information.
I don’t expect much, friends have no obligation to me
Build
Behaviors
I don’t try
When I’m talking to someone I’m worried about what they’re thinking about me.
I don’t ask friends to be there for me
I let go of friendships
I don’t communicate that I want to be closer
I take the role as the listener and don’t share myself
Behaviors
I ask people out
I focus on listening to and connecting with new friends.
I ask for what I need from friends
I am vulnerable with my friends
I show people I’m committed
I work through issues with friends
Beliefs
Someone has to make the first move
Being too self-focused can undermine friendship formation.
Friends help me grow as a person
Close relationships require trust and sharing, and many people are trustworthy.
Friends take time and effort
I know friends want to help
Reflect on our own beliefs and behaviors
