title: StayingClean:LivingWithoutDrugsauthor:

publisher: HazeldenPublishingisbn10|asin: 0894864475printisbn13: 9780894864476ebookisbn13: 9780585328805

language: English

subject Narcoticaddicts--Rehabilitation--UnitedStates,NarcoticsAnonymous.

publicationdate: 1987lcc: HV5825.S6851987ebddc: 362.2/9386

subject: Narcoticaddicts--Rehabilitation--UnitedStates,NarcoticsAnonymous.

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StayingCleanLivingWithoutDrugs

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FirstpublishedAugust,1987.

Copyright©1987,HazeldenFoundation.Allrightsreserved.Noportionofthispublicationmaybereproducedinanymannerwithoutthewrittenpermissionofthepublisher.

LibraryofCongressCatalogCardNumber:87-80783

ISBN:0-89486-447-5

PrintedintheUnitedStatesofAmerica.

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Contents

1.FindNewFriends 1

2.Don'tStartUsingDrugs 3

3.ExaminePrescriptionDrugUse 4

4.AvoidAlcohol 4

5.AvoidBeerandWine 5

6.LiveJustforToday 5

7.UsetheSerenityPrayer 6

8.LearntheSlogans 7

9.ForgetOldIdeas 10

10.StickWiththeWinners 12

11.TendtoOurRecovery,NoOneElse's 13

12.AttendNar-Anon 15

13.MakePersonalDecisionsinPursuingRomance 16

14.BewareofFalseAssurances 19

15.KeepanOpenMind 19

16.Remember,OurDiseaseisProgressive 20

17.BecomeActive 22

18.UsetheTelephone 24

19.ChooseaSponsor 26

20.DealPositivelyWithInsomnia 30

21.AnalyzeClichés 31

22.ConfrontResentments 34

23.BewareofSelf-Pity 36

24.EnjoyLifebutBewareofOverconfidence 37

25.RememberOurLastDrugHigh 39

26.BeGrateful 40

27.BeGoodtoOurselves 42

28.AvoidAlcoholandOtherDrugOccasions 43

29.ChangeDailyHabits 45

30.GotoN.A.Meetings 47

31.BewareofExcuses 51

32.SeekProfessionalHelp 54

33.WorktheTwelveSteps 56

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IntroductionThewaytorecoverfromdrugaddictionistopracticetheTwelveStepsofNarcoticsAnonymous(N.A.).Thereisnoeasierway.However,someofusareunabletoimmediatelyacceptthespiritualrouteasouronlyhope.ManyofushavehadtotrytostaycleanforawhilebeforewecouldclearourheadsenoughtoevenconsideracceptingtheTwelveSteps.

Herearesomeofthewaysexperiencehasshownushowtoavoidcontinuingorresumingourdrughabits.

1FindNewFriendsWhatareourfriendsgoingtosayifwequittakingdrugswiththem?Whatarewegoingtodowhentheybringoutourfavoritedrugs?

Wemustfirstdecidewhetherourlifeorouraddictedfriendsaremoreimportanttous.Manyhavelearnedthehardwaythathangingaroundusingbuddiesmaytemptusmorethanwecanstand.Ifwedonotchangeoursocialenvironmentfromdrug-riddentodrug-free,thechancesaregoodwewillgobacktousingalmostbeforewestarttogoclean.

Rememberwearestilladdicted,nomatterhowlongagowestoppedusingdrugs.IfwefollowtheprogramoutlinedbyNarcoticsAnonymouswewillrecover,butthediseasestayswithus,requiringongoingStepwork.Somethinginuscriesoutfordrugs.Itisonlycommonsenseatfirsttostayawayfromplacesandpeoplewhomakedrugsavailable.

"Giveupoldfriends?"thenewcomerwillcry."Whythey'retheonlypeopleItrust,I'venevertrustedanyonewhowouldn'tusewithme."

Thatispartoftheproblem.Ourwholeliveshavebeenbuiltaroundaddictsandaddiction.Butwedonothavetostopassociatingwithaddicts.NarcoticsAnonymousisfullofnew

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peoplewecantrust.Theyarejustlikeweare...addictsoneandall.Buttheyareaddictswhohavestoppedusingdrugs.

TheaddictsinN.A.understandnotonlyouraddictionbutourdeterminationtoneveragainsuccumbtoit.Wecantrustthembecausetheyhavebeenwherewehavebeen.Theyaresafetobearoundbecausetheyhavestoppedwhatwewanttostop.Theyarereadyandwillingtohelpusquitdrugsandstayclean.

"ButIcan'tdesertmyoldfriend,"newcomerswilldeclare."HeneedsthisprogramasmuchasIdo."

Whatheorsheneedsisoflittleconsequence.NarcoticsAnonymousisaprogramforthosewhowantit,notforallwhoneedit.Itwouldbeamiracleifourfriendswantedtostopasmuchaswedoatexactlythesametime.Wemustfaceuptotherealitythatourfriendsprobablydonotwanttocleanuptheiractsrightnow.Theymayneverwantto.

Itisallwecandototakecareofourselves,especiallyatthebeginningofourN.A.wayoflife.Desertourfriends?Wehavetoiftheyareondrugs.Wemustputalotofspacebetweenourselvesanddrug-usingfriendsifwewanttosurviveandgetwell.

Iffriendshipisstrongerthandrugs,ourfriendscanfollowusintoN.A.Buttheywillhavetodothatbythemselves;wecannotdoitforthem.Wecanlearnrightnowthatfriendshipmaynotbestrongerthandrugs.Tryingtoputfriendshipfirstcankeepusfromrecovery.Itcankillus.

AnyonewhohasadesiretostoptakingdrugsiseligibletojoinN.A.Asaddicts,weeachmustfindourownway.Thebestwecandoforfriendswhostilluseismindourownbusiness.Firstwemustgetwell.Onlythenwillwebeabletoassistanyonewhoasksforhelp;thisevenincludesoldfriendsiftheydoapproachus.Ifthathappensitwillbeontheirtimetable,notours.

Meanwhile,wemustreplaceouraddictedfriendswithcleanfriendswhowecantrust.N.A.isnotonlyagreatrecoveryfellowship,itisanorganizationwherewecanmakenewfriends.

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Givingupdrug-usingcompanionstosaveourownlivesisnotastoughasitseems.Wemaybeamazedtodiscoverthatafterwearecleanforawhilewehavelittleincommonwiththatoldgang.

Itistimetoshedstill-usingfriendsalongwithoursickoldways.WewillfindallthenewfriendsweneedinNarcoticsAnonymousaswesharetheirrecovery.

Ontheoutside,wecanfindnewfriendsamongthosewhodonotusedrugs.Onceweareclean,wewillfindallkindsofnon-usingnewfriends.Wemaybeamazedathowsociablewebecomeonceweareoffdrugs.AwholeworldexistsofwonderfulpeoplebothinandoutofN.A.,andwearegoingtolovethemandbeoneofthem.Wewilldiscoverthatpeoplewhoarenotusingdrugsaremoreinterestingthanpeoplewhoare.

2Don'tStartUsingDrugsAsurewaytostoptakingdrugsistoneverstart.Acertainwaytonevergetstonedistoturndowndrugs.Somepeoplesaythefirstdrugwetriedwastheonethatgotusintotrouble.Therecanbenoargumentagainstthisfactonceweareclean:Ifwealwaysturndownthefirstdrug,wewillnevergetstoned.

Asaddicts,wecannotusedrugsinmoderation.Wecan'tstartorwegoalltheway.Thechoiceisours.Wecansay"yes"or"no"tothefirstdrug.Ifwesay"yes"thedrugtakesover.

Itisuptous.Ifwewanttostayclean,theanswereachtimeweareofferedadrugortemptedmustbe"no."Thereisnootherwaytostayclean.

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3ExaminePrescriptionDrugUseAsrecoveringaddicts,wemayask,isitsafetotakemedicineprescribedbyadoctor?Noonebutaphysicianisqualifiedtojudgewhetheranaddictoranyoneelseneedsmedicationstosustainlifeormentalstability.Itisimportantthatourdoctorsunderstandthenatureofouraddiction.Theymustunderstanditisdifficulttobreakaddictionwhileusinganykindofmood-alteringsubstance,prescribedornot.Onlyphysiciansarequalifiedtodetermineifdrugsarevitaltomedicaltreatmentofdiseases,butitisuptoyoutoinformphysiciansofyouraddiction.Physicianscannotproperlytreatourmedicalproblemsunlesstheyknowofthedangersofprescribingmood-alteringdrugstous.

Ifwehavebeenusingalegalprescriptionforalongtime,suchasValiumorotherbarbiturates,wecanfindadoctorwhoisfamiliarwithNarcoticsAnonymous.Ifthat'snotpossible,findanN.A.memberwhoisaphysician,orlookforsomeonewhospecializesintreatingaddiction.Askifweshouldstopusingtheprescriptionandhowwecanstopusingitsafely.Remember,detoxifyingourselvescanbedangerous,soweneedhelp.

Wecangetoffmood-alteringdrugswiththehelpofadoctorwhohasexperienceintreatingourdisease.Weshoulddoitasquicklyasit'ssafelypossible.Onlythisapproachwillhelpusbecomecleanlikethosewhorecoveredbeforeus.Andwedon'thavetojeopardizeourrecoverybyallowinganuninformeddoctortoprescribemood-alteringdrugstous.

4AvoidAlcoholSomeofuslookeddownonthosewhodrankalcohol.Alcoholicsseemedlesssophisticatedtousthandrugusers.Well,hereissomenewsforthosewhostillthinkthatway:

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Alcoholisadrug.Thesurgeongeneralhasproclaimed,"Alcoholisournation'snumberonedrugproblem."Alcoholisjustanotherdrugandaddictscaneasilysubstituteitforourdrugofchoice.

Wedonotstayoffdrugsbytakingdrugs.TheN.A.memberwhowantstostaycleanwillnotdrinkalcohol.Tobecleanwemustalsobesober.

5AvoidBeerandWineWaybackin1933whenprohibitionwasrepealed,alawwasadoptedwhichintroducedthelegalsaleofbeerandwineonU.S.militarybases.Theridiculoustheorywasthatnoonecouldgetdrunkonwineorbeer.

Donotbetakeninbythefoolishnotionthatdrinkingbeerorwineisokayaslongasyoudonottouchthehardstuff.Itisallalcohol.Aone-ouncejiggerofwhiskey,afour-ounceglassofwine,andaneight-ounceglassofbeereachcontainthesameamountofethylalcohol,oneofthedrugswemustavoidtostayclean.

Wecan'tkidourselves;drinkingwineorbeerisnotsaferthanusingotherdrugs.Thoseofuswhoturntoalcoholareinvariablyoffandrunningagainintoaddictivedespair.

6LiveJustforTodaySayingnotoourselveseachtimewehaveanopportunitytousedrugsfortherestofourlivesmayseemimpossibleifwelookatitasalifetimeproject.ButinNarcoticsAnonymouswehavefoundaneasier

waytostayclean.Allwehavetodoisstayawayfrommood-alteringsubstancesjustfortoday.Anyofuscanresisttemptationforonedaynomatterhowmiserableit

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gets.Wecantakeanythingforaday.Wedon'thavetoworryabouttomorrow.Wecanliveandstaycleaninthenow,oneminuteatatime.

Ifwecankeepourselvesoffdrugstoday,wecandothesametomorrow.Weneednotconstantlyworryabouttomorrow.Allweneedtodotostaycleanforonedayistoturndowndrugsrightnow.Westaycleanforaday...justfortoday.

TherearealotoffriendsandtoolsinN.A.tohelpusthroughacleanday.

7UsetheSerenityPrayerOnewayrecoveringaddictsfindtostaycleanthroughthedayisthroughprayer.ManyN.A.membersusetheSerenityPrayer:

God,grantmetheserenityToacceptthethingsIcannotchange,CouragetochangethethingsIcan,Andwisdomtoknowthedifference.

Wecanusethisprayerdailyormanytimesdaily.Thissimpleprayerhelpsaddictsstayawayfromdrugsjustfortoday.Asaddicts,wepraytoacceptourdiseasethatmakesitimpossibleforustocontrolouruseofdrugs.Wecannotchangethat.Wecanchangeandprayforthewisdomtoknowthatusingdrugsagainmaybefatal.Wecanalsoprayforthecouragetonotstartusingagain.Withsuchwisdomandcouragewecangetthroughadayingoodshape.

MiracleshaveresultedfromtheSerenityPrayer.Howeveritisnotashortcuttothespiritualawakeningnecessaryforrecoveryfromourdisease.ThatcomeslaterintheTwelveSteps.

UsingtheSerenityPrayeroftenwillhelpusstaycleanuntiltheTwelveStepsremovealldesirefordrugsfromourminds.

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8LearntheSlogansFiveslogansarecommonlyusedwiththeTwelveStepsbyaddictswhoneverwanttouseagain.Inmeetinghallsaroundtheworldtheseslogansareoftenhunginthisorder:

LiveandLetLive

EasyDoesIt

ButfortheGraceofGod...

Think,Think,Think

FirstThingsFirst

Theyarearrangedsothefirstwordofeachsloganofferssoundadvicetotheaddictwhenreadlefttoright,LiveEasyButThinkFirst.

LiveandLetLive

Ifwearetohavethepeaceofmindnecessarytolickouraddictionweneedtolearnnottoletthebehaviorofothersbotherus.Attheveryleastwemustdeveloptolerance.Ideallyourtolerancewillbecomeacceptance.

Asurewaytofeelmiserableistofailatsomething.Thereisnothingmoredoomedtofailurethantryingtogetotherstobehavethewaywethinktheyoughtto.Everytimewebaseourpeaceofmindontheperformanceofsomeoneelseweareprobablygoingtobemiserable.

Wecan'tenjoybeingcleanwhenwe'remiserable.Ifwewanttobehappilyclean,itisbettertonotexpecttoomuchofotherpeople.Wehadbetteracceptitwhenothersdothingswedon'tthinktheyoughtto.Wemustletothersliveastheylike.

Anotherwaytobemiserableistotrytobehavethewaywethinkotherswantustoact.Nomatterhowhardwetry,itcan'tbedone.Wecannotrecreateourselvestopleaseotherpeople.Wefailandbecomemiserableeverytimewetry.Thisshattersthepeaceofmindweneedtostayhappilyclean.

Wemustlearntoliveourlivesandallowotherstolivetheirs.Whenwetoleratetheirbehaviortheywillbettertolerateours.

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EasyDoesIt

Asnewcomers,oneofthemostdifficultthingstobelieveisthatN.A.isaneasyprogramtofollow.Howcoulditpossiblybeeasytostayoffdrugs?

ThereareonlyTwelveStepstorecoveryinNarcoticsAnonymous.Theyareeasytofollowoncewemakeupourmindstodoso.Theproblemisdecidingtorecover.

IfwehavedecidedwewantwhatN.A.hastooffer,wearereadytotakecertainSteps.WearereadyfortheseStepswhenwewanttostopusingmood-alteringsubstancesjustfortodayfortherestofourlives.Ifwearewillingtogotoanylengthtodoso,theStepsbecomeeasy.Ifweonlyhalfheartedlywanttoquit,oronlywanttostopusingforawhile,theStepsbecomeimpossible.

TheonlyeasywaytostaycleanistopracticetheTwelveStepsofN.A.UntilwelearnhowtodotheStepsitisagoodideatotrynottogettoofranticoveranything.Insteadofgoingintoaflapwhenthingsdonotseemtobegoingourway,itisagoodideatositdown,takeadeepbreath,andremindourselvestotakeiteasy.Wedon'tneedtoresolveourentirefutureinoneday,andtakingiteasyhelpsusstayclean.

ButfortheGraceofGod

Wecanrememberwhyweareclean.SeeingsomeonewhoisnotcleanisagoodreminderofwherewehavebeenandwhereweneednotreturnifweleaveourlivesuptothegraceofGod.

Someofuscontinuetoenvythosewhostillusedrugs,butthisenvywon'tlastforlong.InN.A.,weseetheresultsofaddictioninotheruserswhoarenotfortunateenoughtobeontheroadtorecovery.

Wewillprobablyseethedegradationanddespairofonewhohasslippedoutofthefellowshipandreturnedtosubstanceenslavement.ItisareminderofwhatcanhappentousifwelaginourdeterminationtostickwithN.A.'sTwelveStepstorecovery.

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''TherebutforthegraceofGodgoI,"wecanhonestlysaywhenwelearnofsomeone'sdeathbyoverdose,ordeathbyviolenceassociatedwithaddiction.

"TherebutforthegraceofGodgoI."Rememberit.Itwillhelpusstayoffdrugsjustfortoday.

Think,Think,Think

Oneofthemostpopularslogansfoundinmeetingroomsallovertheworldis

Think,Think,Think.

AnewN.A.memberstrugglingtorecovermayatanytimebetemptedtouseamood-alteringsubstance.Noexcusetotakedrugsisacceptabletothenewlycleanmemberwhowantstostaythatway.However,somesituationsmakeusmorevulnerabletotemptationthanothers.Ifsuchanoccurrenceunexpectedlyoccurswecanstopandthinkbeforeweactrashlyandputourselvesunderevenmorepressuretoreturntodrugs.

"Thinkfirst,"isagoodsuggestionforthoseofuswhoarenotyettrainedtocopewithpeople,places,orsituationsthatpromptedustousedrugsbefore.

FirstThingsFirst

WhenwearriveinN.A.weareusuallytoldwedonothavetoworryaboutstayingcleanfortherestofourlives.Weonlyhavetoturndowndrugsjustfortoday.Wecanremember,FirstThingsFirst.Ifwetakecareoftoday,tomorrowwilltakecareofitself.

TaketheFirstStep,thenthenext.Applythesameprincipleto

everydayliving.Dowhatcomesnext.Donottrytohandleeverythingatonce.Dowhattheslogansays:FirstThingsFirst.Thisapproachwillhelpusstaytreeofchemicalsjustfortoday.

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LiveEasyButThinkFirst

Thissloganiscomposedofthefirstwordsofeachoftheotherfivesayings.Itcautionsustotakeiteasyandthinkaboutwhatwearegoingtodobeforeweact.

Lateron,theTwelveStepsofrecoverywillmakeitpossibleforustotrustourintuition.UntilwetaketheStepswehadbetterwatchourselves.Donotpanic.Takeiteasy.Thinkbeforeyouact.Donotuse,nomatterwhat!

9ForgetOldIdeasItisobviousouroldideasofhowtolivewerenothealthy.Theygotusintostatesofhelplessdesperation,andwehadtoseekrescuefromN.A.

Wemustgetridoftheideasthatledustodrugsinthefirstplace.Wemustdisposeofalltheexcusesweusedtojustifydruguseevenafteritbegancausingusnothingbutpain,trouble,andhumiliation.

Thefirstideawehavetoeraseisthenotionthatanythinggoodcancomeofusingdrugsagain.Wehavetodemolishanyideaswemaystillhavethatitisdesirabletotakedrugs.

Themostobviousideaweneedtogetridofinvolvesanylingeringfantasythatwecanorwillbeabletoexerteventheslightestcontroloveranymood-alteringsubstance.

Thosearethemoreglaringideaswemustgetridof.Itmaynotseemsotothestrugglingaddictwhosebodyhasnotyethadtimetocleanseitselfofchemicals,butthosearetheeasiestideastoshake.Ourpresentpredicamentmayhavealreadyconvinceduswearepowerless

overaddiction.

Numerousideasmayexistwithinusthatareeventrickiertoletgoof.Theseinclude:

·Wecannotgetalongwithoutourolddrug-relatedfriendships.

·Peoplewhodonotusedrugscan'tbetrusted.

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·Thelawisourenemy.

·Itisnotnormalbehaviortosay"no"todrugs.

·Lifewithoutdrugswillbeboring.

·Thebehaviorofotherpeoplecandriveustodrugs.

·Drugsarenecessarytohavegoodsex.

·Losingsleepismoreunhealthythanwithdrawalfromdrugs.

·Prescriptiondrugsareokaybecausetheyarelegal.

·Itisokaytoswitchtoalcoholtoeasethepainofwithdrawal.

·Marijuanaisnotasdangerousasotherdrugs.

·Ajobistooimportanttotaketimeofffromtodealwithdrug-relatedproblems.

·Wecanhandleouraddictionbyourselves.

·Thereissomethingwrongwithsomeonewhogoesto"toomanymeetings."

·Increasingtheintakeofnicotine,caffeine,andfoodisallwehavetodotostayoffdrugs.

·Ameetingaweekwillcureus.

·Itisimpossibletorecoverfromaddiction.

·Addictsneverrecover.

·Old-timersintheprogramhavenothingtoofferbecausetheyaretoooldandoutoftouchwithyoungerpeople.

·GodwilltakecareofuswhetherweaskHimtoornot.

·ThereisnoPowergreaterthanourselves.

·ItisasbadtobecomeaddictedtoN.A.meetingsasitistobeaddictedtodrugs.

Oldideassuchasthesecankillus.OneoldideaoftenheardatN.A.meetingscandousin.Thereisamistakennotionthatnooneeverrecoversfromaddiction.Thetruthisthis:Thediseaseofaddictionisonewewillcarrywithusuntilwedie,butrecoveryispossiblethroughabstinenceandcontinuouslyworkingtheSteps.

Nothingcanbemorediscouragingormorebafflingtoourrecoverythantryingtoembarkonaprogramofrecoveryifwebelieveitisimpossibletostayclean.Onpage83oftheBasic

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TextofNarcoticsAnonymous,wearetold,"Nowweknowthatthetimehascomewhenthattiredoldlie,'Onceanaddict,alwaysanaddict,'willnolongerbetoleratedbyeithersocietyortheaddicthimself.Wedorecover."

NarcoticsAnonymousisbasedonprinciplesfoundinabookpublishedbyAlcoholicsAnonymouscalledTwelveStepsandTwelveTraditions.ThisbookwaswrittenbyA.A.'sco-founder,BillW.

NarcoticsAnonymousexplainsonpageX,TheTwelveStepsofNarcoticsAnonymous,asadaptedfromA.A.,arethebasisofourrecoveryprogram.Wehaveonlybroadenedtheirperspective.Wefollowthesamepathwithasingleexception;ouridentificationasaddictsisall-inclusiveinrespecttoanymood-changing,mood-0alteringsubstance....Wehavebynomeansfounda'cure'foraddiction.Weofferonlyaprovenplanfordailyrecovery.

10StickWiththeWinnersWecanremembertoshareexperience,strength,andhopewithallinN.A.Butwhenwewanttoknowhowtorecover,weaskthosewhoarerecovering.

ArecoveringmemberofN.A.isonewhosecompulsiontousedrugshasbeenremovedbyGod.ArecoveringaddicttriestopracticeN.A.'sTwelveStepsinallhisorheraffairsassuggestedinStepTwelve.ThosewhoarerecoveringhavedonesobymeansoftheTwelveStepsofrecoveryandarenowdedicatedtocarryingthemessageofthoseStepstootheraddicts.ArecoveringaddictgoestoN.A.meetingsnotjustbecauseheorshehasto,butbecauseheorshewantsto.Arecoveringpersonnolongerusestheprogramonlyforwhatheorshecangetoutofitbutforwhatheorshecancontributetoit.Arecoveringaddictservesthefellowshipinmanyways;thesecan

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includebeingoncommittees,Twelve-Stepping,sponsoringnewcomers,movingchairs,makingcoffee,andholdingoffice.

Littleisgainedbysharingmiserywiththemiserable.Lookforthehappymembers.Theywillnotonlysharetheirhappiness,theywillsharehowtheygotthatwaysowecanbehappytoo.

WecanhelptheunfortunatebutheedthosewhosucceedinN.A.Theadage"likebegetslike"wasnevermoretruethaninourfellowship.Ifwehangoutonlywithlosers,welose.Wecanhelpthem,andbysodoingwewillbehelpingourselves.Andwecanletwinnershelpus.

Wecanspotthewinners.Theyradiatesuccess.Theyarenotjustclean,theyarehappilyclean.Theyaregratefulfortheirdrugaddictionbecausewithoutit,theymightneverhaveheardoftheTwelveSteppathwaytoadrug-freelifeandajoyouswayofliving.

GodshinesthroughN.A.'swinners.Heshinesuponyou.Stickwiththewinnersandbefree.

11TendtoOurRecovery,NoOneElse'sSomeofusmaybeintimatelyinvolvedwithsomeonewhoisaddicted.Wemayhavetodecidewhatismoreimportanttousourcleanlifeorourrelationship.Itisuptoeachofus.Weshouldallownooneelsetointerferewithourdecision.Itisapersonalmatterthateachofusmusttakefullresponsibilityfor.

Miserylovescompany.Theaddictgoingthroughwithdrawalwilloftendesperatelywishhisorherpartnerweretakingthatsamemiserablejourneyatexactlythesametime.Thisisnotlikelytohappen.

Joylovescompany,too.TheN.A.newcomerexperiencing"cloudnine"ecstasyinthefirststagesoffreedomfromdrugswillnaturallywanttosharethisnew-foundtreasurewiththe

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oneheorsheloves.Butthegiftofbeingdrugfreecanseldombefullysharedwithotheractivedrugaddicts,eventheonewelovemostinthisworld.

Addictswhodependonsomeoneelse'sfreedomfromdrugstostaycleanaredoomedfromthestart.Itisalifeanddeathmatter.Two,addictsleaningshakilyoneachothercannotcutit.Ifonefalls,theybothfall.Eachaddictwhoreallywantstorecoverhasgottodoitonlyforhimselforherself.

ThereareplentyofrecoveringaddictswillingtohelpbysharinghowtheTwelveStepprogramofrecoveryworksforthem.Theusingaddictmustnotbeallowedtohinderourrecovery,nomatterhowmuchwelovethatperson.

WecannotfollowtheTwelveStepprogramfortheonewelove.Wecannotgettheonewelovetodoitforus.Inthissituation,ouronlyhopeistomindourbusiness.Andourbusinessiswhatwepersonallydoaboutourdrugproblem,notwhatanyoneelsedoesespeciallythepersonclosesttous.

Eachofusmustdecidewhethertoleaveorstaywithalovedonewhoreturnstoorneverstopsusingalcoholorotherdrugs.This,likeourrecovery,isnobody'sbusinessbutours.

Thedecisionshouldbebasedupononlyonequalification.Wecaneachask,"AfterIdowhatIdecide,willIliveahappy,drug-freelife?OrwillIgetdraggedbackintothedrugpit?"

Ifyouthinkyoucanremainunaffectedbyyourlovedone'saddictivebehaviorandnotletitpullyoudown,proceedwithgreatcaution.Youcanbepreparedtobailoutanytimeitbecomesnecessary.

Youcanalsobearonepolicyinmindatalltimes:Whatyourpartnerdoesaboutalcoholorotherdrugsishisorherbusiness,notyours.

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12AttendNar-AnonAnyonetryingtorecoverwhochoosestolivewithorformacloseattachmenttoapracticingaddictneedstolearntheartofdetachment.IfthereisaNar-Anongroupavailable,joinit.

Ifweremainwithalovedonewhostillusesdrugs,wecanbenefitfrombelongingtobothN.A.andNar-Anon.Wecanpracticebothprogramsatonce.

IfthereisnoNar-Anongroupavailable,thenweneedtotrytodetachonourown.Detachingfromsomeonewelovedoesnotnecessarilymeanleavingthatperson.Butitdoesmeangivingupourconcernwithortryingtochangethatperson'sbehavior,especiallyhisorheraddictivebehavior.

NarcoticsAnonymousisasave-your-own-lifefellowship.Nar-Anonisamind-your-own-businessprogram.Ifwearelivingwithorinlovewithanaddict,weneedbothprograms.

JustasN.A.isafellowshipofmenandwomenwhowanttorecoverfromdrugaddiction,Nar-Anonisaprogramforthosewhoneedtorecoverfromlivingwithaddicts.RecoverycanbeachievedonlybypracticingthesameTwelveSteps.

Wecanaskourselvesifwearesubconsciouslyseekinganexcusetotakedrugsagain.Itisalluringtoallowsomeoneelse'soutrageousbehaviortogetussoupsetwethinkweneedamood-alteringsubstancetocalmdown.Butanaddicttryingtorecovercanneveraffordtotakedrugsforanyreason,letalonebecauseofthewaysomeotheraddictbehaves.

Soonerorlatersomeonewefeelclosetoisgoingtousedrugs.Theydoitbecausetheyareaddicts.Itisnaturalbehaviorforaddictstousedrugs.Ifwethinkwehavetousedrugsbecauseoftheirbehavior,wearedoomed.Wewillneverrecoverifweuseothersasanexcusetouse.

Anaddicteasilyupsetbyanotheraddict'sbehaviorneedsNar-Anonmorethananonaddictdoes.Whenweslipwestartusingagain.Thatcankillus.Nar-Anonisavailablenotonlytoteachushowtocopewithfriendsandrelativeswhousedrugs,buttohelpusrecoverfrombeing"addicted"toanotheraddict.

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ThesecretofN.A.'ssuccessisthataddictswhoarerecoveringcan,asnooneelsecan,helpotheraddictsrecoverfromtheneedtotakedrugs.Butitallgoesdownthetubeifweletactiveaddictsdriveusbacktodrugs.

Someaddictswhohavebrokenthedrughabitcannottearthemselvesawayfromothers'addiction.Butinthiscase,thesymptomofouraddictioninvolvestryingtocontrolsomeoneelse.Nar-Anoncanhelpusrecoverfromthisfinalandjustasfatalsymptomofourcommondisease.

Ifanotheraddict'sactionsorwordsbothersusatall,weneedtogotoNar-Anon.

13MakePersonalDecisionsinPursuingRomanceDependinguponourpointofview,manyofusareeitherluckyenoughorunluckyenoughtobedrawnintoanewemotionalinvolvementduringourfirstfewmonthsintheprogram.Thisseemstohappeneventhoughwehaveheardwell-intentionedadvicefromNar-Anonmemberstorefrainfromgettinginvolvedwithanyoneforatleastayear.

Firstletusbeclearaboutonepoint:Suchadviceispersonal,baseduponsomeoneelse'sexperienceandopinion.ThereisnomandatepublishedbyN.A.torefrainfromemotionalinvolvmentduringthefirstyear.

Oursisaprogramforstayingawayfromdrugsjustfortoday.Itisnotaprogramtostayawayfromloveorsexforayear.

Therearenohardandfastrulesaboutintimaterelationships.Itisa

controversialissue.TheTwelveStepsdonotspecificallyaddressthisandnoN.A.publicationsaddressiforwhenanewcomershouldbecomeemotionallyorsexuallyinvolved.Therefore,itisanoutsideissue.

TraditionTensays,"NarcoticsAnonymoushasnoopiniononoutsideissues...."Ourlovelifeisourbusiness,notthebusinessofourN.A.grouporsponsor.

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Neverthelessitwouldbebesttobeforewarnedthatanewcomerenteringthejoustinggroundofromance,whetheritincludessexualactivityornot,isuniquelyvulnerabletothetemptationtousedrugs.Whenwegamblewiththeemotionsoflove,wemayenteranarenaofecstasy,despair,orboth.

Inthepastmostofususedchemicalstohelpusavoidcopingwiththehighsandlowsofpassionandrejection.Nowwedonothavedrugstofallbackon.

Inaprogramthatteachesustolivejustfortodaywhilenotbecomingtoolonely,itisconfusingtotrytoabstainfromintimateinvolvementforanentireyear.Givingupdrugsisaboutallmostofuscanhandle,andnotmanyofusgetthroughayearwithoutemotionalorsexualinvolvement.

Theanswerisobvious:Weareverylikelytobecomeemotionallyinvolvedwhetherwewanttoornot.Ifwedenyourfeelingsorrestrictourbehaviorwemaybecomefrustratedandtemptedtoturntodrugs.

Wewhosuccumbtoromancedoruntheriskofrejection.Whenwebeginarelationshipwetaketheriskofbeingdumped.Butgettingdumpedisnoreasontoturnbacktodrugs.Ourheartscanbebroken.Wemayexperienceexcruciatingpain.Butpainisnotamotivationtoresorttomind-numbingdrugs.Wecangetsohighonlove,sex,orboththatwethinknothingcanhurtus.Butbeinginvolvedwithsomeonedoesnotremoveouraddictions.

Noneoftheseecstasiesorcalamitiesisacceptableasanexcusetousedrugs!Wedonotusedrugsforanyreason.Wedonotusebecauseofjoy,despair,ecstasy,rejection,orheartbreak.

DonotbelieveitifsomeonewarnsusthatemotionalinvolvementduringourfirstyearinN.A.willcauseustotakedrugs.Wecanpromiseourselvesrightnowthatwiththehelpoftheprogramnothing

willdriveusbacktodrugs,notevenlovethatdoesn'tprovetrue.InN.A.welearnhowtoexperiencelifeandlovewithoutchemicalassistance.

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Bewarnedtherearepredatorsofbothsexesineverygroup.SuchthoughtlessN.A.memberswilltrytotakesexualadvantageofanewcomer.SexualseductionisnolesscommoninNarcoticsAnonymousthananyplaceelse.Thosewhopracticeindiscriminateseductiondonotcarewhotheyhurt.Personalgratificationtakespriorityoverconsiderationfortheirvictims.Bewareofthe"thirteenthsteppers"whoaddvulnerablenewcomerstotheirscores.Butwhetherweavoidbeingavictimornot,wedonotletwhathappensdriveusbacktodrugs.

InN.A.wedonotuse,nomatterwhat.

Professionalcounselingmayhelpussortoutourrelationshipandsexualproblems,ifnecessary.NeitherourN.A.grouporsponsorisapttobeareliableauthorityonloveorsex.Wewillrunintomemberswithlotsofexperience,buttheycan'tsolveourproblems.Itwouldbenowisertoturnourlovelifeovertothemanagementofanamateurthantoplaceourlegalproblemsorphysicalailmentsintothehandsofotheraddictswho,likeourselves,havenolegalormedicaltraining.

Addictswho,despitealltherisksinvolved,goaheadandbecomeinvolvedwithsomeonewillneedallthecommonsensetheycanmuster.Establishedcouplesaswellasthosenewtoromancemustlearntodetachfromtheproblemsoftheirpartners.Eachmusttakecareofhimselforherself.

"Stickwiththewinners"isevenmorepertinentforthoseseekingamatethanforthosetryingtoestablishfriendships.

Wecantrytoavoidrelationshipswithpeoplewhoareplaguedwithproblems.Wecanstartlookingforcompanionshipinpeoplewhohavehealthyapproachestoliving.

Ifanewrelationshipisbasedonpreviousaddictiontothesamedrugs,itisnotlikelytoturnintoamarriagemadeinheaven.Furthermore,an

addictfallingforanotheraddictshouldstartattendingNar-Anon.

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14BewareofFalseAssurancesWhetherarelationshipinvolvesfriendshiporromance,wecanremembertobewaryofformingacloseattachmenttoanyonewhorefusestobelieveweareaddicts.

Manyrecoveringaddictshavefallenforafriend'sassuranceof,''Youknow,Idon'tthinkyouarereallyaddictedatall.Ithinkyoucouldenjoygettinghighwithmenow."

Asaddicts,wecannotfindanenemyasdangerousasahusband,wife,lover,orbestfriendwhorefusestoaccepttherealityofourdisease.Tragicconsequencescanresultfromlisteningtosomeonewhosays,"Justthisoncewon'thurtyou."

Ifweloveourlives,wecanrejecttheassurancesofanyonewhokeepstryingtoconvinceuswearenotreallyaddicts.Itishardtobelieveonewhoclaimstoloveuswoulddenyouraddiction,butithappensallthetime.Wehavegottobereadyforthiskindoftemptationandbereadytogetawayfromitwhenitoccurs.

Lovedoesnotconquerall.Itdoesnotconquerdrugs.Wewillbebetteroffwithoutaloverorfriendwhorefusestobelieveweareaddicts.

15KeepanOpenMindWecanremembertokeepourselvesreceptivetonewideasbecausetheNarcoticsAnonymousrecoveryprogramrequiresa180-degreeshiftinthewaywethink.

Wedon'thavetoblindlyaccepteverythingwehearatanN.A.meetingoreverythingoursponsortellsus.Butwecan'tdismisswhatwehearwithoutthinkingitoverandtalkingitoverwithrecoveringaddicts.Ifwedonotinvestigateallwehearwithanopenmind,wemightmissgoodadvicevitaltoourrecovery.

Wedon'thavetomakethesamemistakesthataddictsbeforeushavealreadymade.Thatiswhywehaveliterature.Itis

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intendedtokeepusfrommakingthesamemistakes.Thewrongmovesofthosebeforeushavebeenidentifiedthehardway.Theyhavebeenanalyzedforusbyotherswhosurvivedthem.

WewillsometimeshearanN.A.membersay,"Idon'tknowhowthisprogramworks,butitworks."HowitworksisclearlyspelledoutintheBasicTextofNarcoticsAnonymousandtheTwelveSteps.Infact,ChapterFourofNarcoticsAnonymousistitled"HowItWorks."

Onpage17,theBasicTextstates:"Thestepsareoursolution.Theyareoursurvivalkit.Theyareourdefense,foraddictionisadeadlydisease.Ourstepsaretheprinciplesthatmakeourrecoverypossible."

Onlyanopenmindwillmakewayfornewideaswhichmustreplacetheoldifwearetorecoverfromourfataldisease.Ifwereallywanttorecoverwemustbewillingtolearnanewwayoflifethatistotallyalientohowweweretaughtinthepasttoconductourselves.

Preconceivednotionsofhowtostayoffdrugsmaykeepusonthem.Stayingcleanmustnowbecomethemostimportantpurposeinourlives.Inordertodosoweneednewknowledgetoreplacewhatpreviouslyneverworked.Aclosedmindwillkeepsuchinformationfromenteringourconsciousness.

Wewillalsohearsomesay,"Don'tintellectualize.Utilize."Whattheyreallymeanis,"Takeaction."

Earlierwediscussedtheslogan,Think.Think.Think.Keepyourmindopen.Useittolearnwhatactiontotaketogetwell.

16Remember,OurDiseaseisProgressiveDrugaddictionisnotjustabadhabit.Itisaprogressive,oftenfatal

disease.Wemustrememberthat.

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Inthepastwhenwewereabletostaycleanforawhile,webegantofeelsophysicallywellthatwethoughtwehadrecoveredenoughtostartusingagain.

Butafterwestartedusingdrugsagainwequicklydiscoveredwewerenotwellenoughtosafelyuseagain.Andwefoundwewereworseoffthanbefore.Thesickestofustoldourselveswehadnotstoppedlongenoughtosafelyindulgeinourfavoritedrugsagain.Theveryfactthatweevenwantedtouseagainprovedwehadnotrecovered.Whenwediduseagainwesufferedevenmorethanbefore.

N.A.revealstousthetruepictureofourprogressivedisease.Nolengthofabstinencewillallowustosafelyreturntodruguse.

Addictionisadiseasewecancontinuallyrecoverfromaslongasweneveragainexperimentwithmood-alteringchemicals.Ifwedo,wequicklyfindourselvesinthedeepdespairofourdiseaseagain.Ourdiseasegetsprogressivelyworsewhetherwearecleanornot.Oncewestartagain,nomatterhowlongwehavebeenoffdrugs,ourillnesshasincreasedasifwehadbeenusingdrugsallalong.

Experienceshowsthatwhenanaddictoflongabstinencereturnstoanykindofdrug,heorsheexperienceshorrifyingdeteriorationintoahelplessstateasadvancedasifheorshehadneverabstained.

Remember,wehaveaprogressivedisease.Believeitifyouvalueyourlife.Donottestit.Itisbesttobelieveitandneverforgetthisfact.

Wecanhelpourselvesabstainifwerememberarelapsecankillus.

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17BecomeActiveEveryaddictwhoquitsusingdrugsasksthesamequestion,"WhatwillIdowithallmytimenowthatI'vestopped?"

Onesymptomofaddictionisthatwecannotimaginealifetimewithoutdrugs.Weonlydoitjustfortoday.Butmanyofuscannotfathomgettingthroughevenawholedaywithouttheroutineassociatedwithusing.Wehaveanalmostterminalfearofbeingbored.

Thebestwaytonotbecomeboredistogetactive.Thefirstthingtodoisgotoalotofmeetings.Ifthereismorethanonedailymeetinginyourarea,attendmorethanonedailymeeting.

Thosewhogotofivemeetingsaweeklearnfivetimesasmuchabouthowtorecoverthanthosewhogotooneweeklymeeting.Thosewhogototenmeetingsaweeklearntwiceasfastasthosewhotakeinfive.

Meetingsareseldomboringonceweareabletolistentowhatisbeingsaid.Everythingwehearissonewwedonotinitiallyunderstandmuchofit.Butifwekeeplisteningwebegintomakegreatdiscoveriesaboutfellowaddictsandourselves.LearningoursecretsisneverboringtoanyoneasselfcenteredaswearebythetimewegettoN.A.

Atfirstsomemaynotwanttojoingroupdiscussions.Thosewhodonotwishtoshareareallowedtopasswhencalledupon.Thereisnodisgraceinnottalkingbecausewehavenothingtosay.Wewilloftenbetold,"Thenewcomeristhemostimportantpersonintheroom."Suchrecognitionisneverboringtoanaddictwhoneedsloveandattention.

Someofuswhoreallyneedstrokingquicklylearnasurewaytogetaroundofapplause.Allwehavetodoisidentifyourselvesbyfirstnameasanaddictandtellhowmanydayswehavebeenclean,nomatterhowshortthetimehasbeen.Whenwedosoeverybodyclaps.Wehearshoutsof,"Allright!"Suchacclamationisnotboringatall.

Whenwegetenoughnervetoshareatmeetingswefindanotherwaytokeepfromgettingbored.Wegettohear

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ourselvestalk.Notonlythat,wediscoverthatothersinthemeetingroomleanforwardtolistentowhatwesay.Foraminuteortwowemayevenfeellikethemostimportantpersonintheroom.Thatkindofstardomisseldomboring.

Beforelongwewilldiscoverapersonintheroomwhoisevennewerintheprogramthanweare.Wegetoutsideourselvesforthefirsttimeandsharewiththenewcomerhowwemanagedtostayclean.Notlongagotheonlywaywecouldgetoutsideourselveswastotakeachemicalthatdidnotevenworkwellanymore.Helpingsomeonewhoisjustonehournewertothefellowshipthanweareisnotboring.

Thenwelearnifwecometothemeetingearlywecansetupchairs,makecoffee,orlayoutliterature.Whenthemeetingbreaksupwecanputawaychairs,cleanashtrays,orhelpthegroupsecretarylockup.Thisgetsusintoone-on-oneconversationwithsomeonewithmoretimeintheprogramthanwehave.Whatotheraddictshavetotellusmaynotbewhatwewanttohear,butitwillnotboreus.

Beforeweknowitwefindourselvesadjourningtoarestaurantorsomeone'shouseforsocializinglacedwithlaughterandtalkofN.A.recovery.Somehowourhorrorstoriesofdrugusebecomelessdevastating,evenfunnywiththepassageoftime.WefindthatcleanN.A.membersrarelyboreus.Infactmostaredownrightinteresting.Someareexcitingtobewith.

NewN.A.friendshipsareanantidoteagainstboredom.

Wemaynotfeellikedancingwithoutdrugsyet,butsomeonewilltalkusintogoingtoanN.A.dance.Therearelotsoftheminmostcommunities.Fearofdancingwhilecleanwillleaveuswhensomeonedragsusontoadancefloorfilledwithrecoveringaddictswhoareenjoyingthemselves.

ThereareN.A.picnicsandconventionstogoto.N.A.motorcycle

cluboutings,trailrides,campingweekends,retreats,birthdayparties,banquets,andothersocialeventstakeplacesooftenwecannotgettothemall.

WecanshowourgratitudetoN.A.byvolunteeringourtime.Eachgrouphaspaperworktodo,suppliestopurchase,

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meetingnoticestopost.Transportationtoandfrommeetingscanbeprovidedtothosewhodonotowncars.newcomerscanaccompanyold-timersonTwelfthStepcallstoassistsufferingaddictswhocalltheN.A.phonenumberforhelp.Intergroups,servicecommittees,andcentralofficesallneedyourhelp.EngaginginN.A.volunteerworkwillkeepusintouchwiththemostvitalrecoveringmembersofourfellowship.Theymayblessuswithrecovery,buttheywillnotboreus.

Getactiveinotherways,preferablywithN.A.friends.Gotobaseball,basketball,andfootballgames.Gofishing.Attendplays,movies,andconcerts.Swim,run,surf,sail,orski.Replacethehighsyouusedtoseekindrugswiththehealthyelationexercise,entertainment,andsportscanprovide.

Wecangethighonlivingallwewant.Keepingturnedontolifewillhelpkeepusturnedoffofdrugs.

Stayingcleanwillbringnewclaritytoourbrain.Useittohavefun.Makeitfuntobefreeofdrugs.

18UsetheTelephoneThereisnotalwaysameetingtogotoattheexactmomentwefeelweneedone.TheremaybenootherN.A.memberspresentwhenweneedtheirsupportorcounsel.Thetelephonethencanbecomeavitalpartofourrecoveryprocess.

AskthoseyoumeetinN.A.forphonenumbers.Theywillbegladtofurnishthem.Theywillbehappytoreceivecallswhenweneedtotalktosomeonewhohasexperiencedthesameproblemswehavewithouttakingdrugs.

Wearen'tcallingsomeonetotalkusoutofusingdrugs.Thepurposeistolearnhowtonotwanttouseeveninperiodsofstress.

Itismucheasiertostaycleanifwehavesomeonetotalktowhoknowswhatwearegoingthroughbecauseheorshehasalreadysurvivedthesameorasimilarexperience.

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Itisanevenbetterideatophoneothermemberswhenthereisnoimmediateproblem.Itisawaytokeepintouch,tokeepN.A.principleshandyinourdefensearsenal.RememberwhenwecallanyN.A.memberwearealsohelpingthatpersonexperiencethelovingbondthatexistsbetweenthosededicatedtostayingoffdrugsandbecominghealthyhumanbeings.

Donottakeitasapersonalaffrontifsomeonewecallhappenstobetoobusyatthemomenttotalk.Theotherpersonmightbeinthemidstofanimportantactivityandcannotbeinterrupted.Wecanacceptthatthefirstpersonwasbusyandcallsomeoneelse.

Wemustneverdependexclusivelyononeperson,notevenwhenmakinganemergencyphonecall.Wecanpickupthephoneagainandcallsomeoneelseinthefellowship.Thatiswhyweneedalotofphonenumbers.

Usuallythememberwecallwillbedelightedtohearfromus.Wemayhavetolearntoallowenoughtimetotalksowedonothavetocutoffthepersonbeforeheorshefeelslikeendingtheconversation.

Weallknowmeetingshelpusstayclean.Insomeareastherearemanymeetingsortheremaybeonlyafewwithhoursordaysbetweenthem.Butcallinganothermemberonthephonecanbecomeameetingbetweenmeetings.

ANarcoticsAnonymousmeetingisdefinedas"wheneverorwherevertwoormoreN.A.membersgathertogether."Fortunately,whentherearenoscheduledgatheringsN.A.memberscangettogetheronthetelephone.

Wedonothavetofeelembarrassedtocalllateatnightwhenwefeelweneedhelp.Oursisadiseaseofisolation.Wemustdosomethingtogetoverourdeliberateloneliness.Wecanalwaysphonesomeone.

Wecangetextremelylonelywhenwe'rewideawakeandworryingintheweehours.Weneedsupportnomatterwhattimeitis.Wewillgetit.N.A.memberscareabouteachother24hoursaday.

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Tentoone,whenweendtheconversationthepersonwehaveawakenedwillthankusforcalling.Withnewfriendsonlyaphonecallaway,whoneedstofeellonely?

Thetelephoneisagodsendtoaddictswhowanttorecover.Itcanbeusedtoaskwheremeetingsare,toseekadviceandsupport,tocallforhelp,ortospontaneouslygiveencouragementtosomeonewhocanuseit.

Manyofushavefoundithelpstocallafewmemberseverydaywhetherweneedtoornot.Itisawaytodevelopfriendsandhavefun.ItisoneofmanywaysN.A.givesustobeginhavingsuchgoodtimeswewouldnotthinkoflousingitupwithdrugs.

"Makesomeonehappy,"wasoncethejingleofatelephonecompanycommercialontelevision.Wecanrememberthisandcallsomeoneintheprogram.MakeanotherN.A.memberhappy.Itwillmakeushappytoo.

19ChooseaSponsorBeforewehavebeeninNarcoticsAnonymousverylongwewillbegintospotcertainmemberswhohavethekindofrecoverywewant.Wediscoverwecantrustsuchpeoplewithsecretsaboutourselvesthatwewouldnotadmittoothers.Wemaydecidetoasksuchapersontobeoursponsor.

N.A.membersoftensaythatchoosingagoodsponsorcanmakeabigdifferencebetweenrecoveringandnotrecovering.

TheprimarypurposeofasponsoristohelpusunderstandtheTwelveStepstorecoverywellenoughtopracticetheminallouraffairs.A

recoveringaddictwhoagreestosponsoruswilltrytoguideusfromStepOnethroughStepTwelve.AgoodsponsorwilltrytoanswerourquestionsabouttheStepsandadviseushowtopracticethem.

Beforeselectingasponsoritishelpfultoknowwhatasponsorcanbeexpectedtodoforus.Itisalsohelpfultorecognizewhatheorsheisnotqualifiedtodo.

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AsponsorshouldhelpustakeeachofthefollowingSteps.TheseTwelveStepsaretheonlyprogramofrecoveryofferedbyNarcoticsAnonymous.

1.Weadmittedwewerepowerlessoveraddiction,thatourliveshadbecomeunmanageable.

2.WecametobelievethataPowergreaterthanourselvescouldrestoreustosanity.

3.WemadeadecisiontoturnourwillandourlivesovertothecareofGodasweunderstoodHim.

4.Wemadeasearchingandfearlessmoralinventoryofourselves.

5.WeadmittedtoGod,toourselvesandtoanotherhumanbeingtheexactnatureofourwrongs.

6.WewereentirelyreadytohaveGodremoveallthesedefectsofcharacter.

7.WehumblyaskedHimtoremoveourshortcomings.

8.Wemadealistofallpersonswehadharmedandbecamewillingtomakeamendstothemall.

9.Wemadedirectamendstosuchpeoplewhereverpossible,exceptwhentodosowouldinjurethemorothers.

10.Wecontinuedtotakepersonalinventoryandwhenwewerewrongpromptlyadmittedit.

11.WesoughtthroughprayerandmeditationtoimproveourconsciouscontactwithGodasweunderstoodHim,prayingonlyforknowledgeofHiswillforusandthepowertocarrythatout.

12.Havinghadaspiritualawakeningastheresultofthesesteps,wetriedtocarrythismessagetoaddicts,andtopracticetheseprinciples

inallouraffairs.

TheseTwelveStepsareourentireprogramofrecovery.Howoursponsorshelpusunderstandandfollowthesesimpleyetdifficultsuggestionsisbetweenthemandus.WecanbesuretopickasponsorwhowethinkknowsalotabouttheseSteps.

ThefriendwetrusttoguideusintheStepsshouldsuggestwegotoalotofN.A.meetings,butheorsheshouldalsoletusdecidewhichmeetingsweattend.

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AnN.A.traditionstatesthat"theprimarypurposeofanN.A.groupistocarrythemessagetotheaddictwhostillsuffers."ThemessagereferstotheTwelveSteps.StepTwelvesays,"Havinghadaspiritualawakeningastheresultofthesesteps,wetriedtocarrythismessagetoaddicts...."

Wecan'texpectasponsortodoourprogramforus.Wemustlearntodothatforourselves.Inselectingasponsor,wecan'tseeksomeonewhowehopewillnagusintogoingtomeetings,readingtheliterature,ortakingtheSteps.Justlookforsomeonewhoistrustworthytoanswerourquestionsabouttheprogram.Wecanfindasponsorwhoiswillingtoshareexperiencesowewillnothavetomakethesamemistakesheorshemade.

Lookforasponsorwhowillprovideinformationratherthanmanagement.Trynottochooseonewhoisstillstrugglingwithrecovery.Wewanttolearnhowtogetwell,notstayillwithasponsorwhoisnotrecovering.

Itisasignofcontinuedillnessifasponsortriestomanageourpersonalaffairs.ThepurposeofasponsoristoassistusinapplyingN.A.'sTwelveStepstoourlives,nottellushowtomanageourunmanageableproblems.Bewarethesponsorwhosays,"Iadmitmylifeisunmanageable,"whiletryingtomanageourproblems.

Asponsorisnotalawyer,theologian,psychologist,financialplanner,orsextherapist.AnN.A.sponsorisusuallyanamateurinthesefieldswithplentyofpersonalfailurestoproveit.Isitlogicaltoexpectasponsorwhocannotmanagehisorherlifetomanageours?

Mostofall,asponsorshouldbeourfriend.PicksomeonewhowewanttobeourfriendandhasrecoveredbypracticingallTwelveSteps.

Agoodwaytotestapotentialsponsoristoseekadviceabouta

personalmatter.Iftheprospectpreciselydetailshowtohandleaproblem,passthatpersonby.LookforasponsorwhowillshowushowtoapplyN.A.'sTwelveStepstotheproblem.TheTwelveStepsaretheonlysolutionN.A.offerstoanydifficulty.

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Whenwefindthepersonwewouldliketobeoursponsor,wejustask.Ifthatpersonsaysyes,wehaveasponsor.Iftheresponseisno,wekeeplooking.

AnyrecoveringN.A.memberoughttobewillingtohelpanothermember.ItdoesnotrequiremuchtimeorenergytoanswerquestionsabouthowtoworktheTwelveStepsifthesponsorrefrainsfrommeddlinginpersonalaffairs.

Wehavelostnothingifthepersonweaskalreadysponsorstoomanytotakeonanother.AsponsorwhomindshisorherownbusinessstickstoadvisingabouttheSteps.Suchapersoncansponsormanypeople.Onewhomeddlestoomuchintothepersonallivesofthoseheorshesponsorswillhavetimeto''manage"onlyafew.Thefirstisthekindofsponsortolookfor.

Changingsponsorsshouldnotbeabigdealeither.Weneednot"fire"onesponsortoadoptanother.Thereisnorequirementtomentionit.Wecanjuststartaskingsomeoneelsewhowefeelismorequalifiedtoanswerourquestions.

Thereisnolawagainsthavingmorethanonesponsor.Wecanhaveasmanyaswelike.

Weneednoteveninformthepersonwechoosethatheorsheisoursponsor.Tooformalasponsorshipmighttemptanotherall-too-humanaddicttotrytomanageourlife.

Allweneedissomeonewhowecanconfidein,someonequalifiedtotellushowtoapplytheprogramtolife'sproblemsinsteadofusingdrugs,someonewhoisanexampleofhowtogetwell.

Weshouldnotlookforafather,mother,brother,sister,manager,nagger,orboss.Aboveallwedonotwishtobecomedependentuponevenoneotherhumanbeing.N.A.andoursponsorshouldteachusto

dependonlyuponourHigherPower.

Bewareofthesponsorwhofiresthosewhodonotobeyorders.Recoveringsponsorshumblyservethosewhowanttogetwell.Theyneithergiveordersnorfireanybody.

Whenwechooseasponsor,wecanstartbydefiningwhatwewant.WecanaskourchoicetohelpuspracticetheTwelveStepsofNarcoticsAnonymous.Thatistheproperroleofasponsor.

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20DealPositivelyWithInsomniaMostofushaveaterribletimetryingtosleepatnightwhencomingoffdrugs.Thefirstthingtorememberisthatitisnotdangeroustolieawakeatnight.Noonediesfromlackofsleep.

Tryingtofallasleepneverworks.Itisnotsomethingweaccomplishbytrying.Infact,tryingtomakeourselvesgotosleepactuallykeepsusawake.

Insteadoffranticallyattemptingtogotosleep,wecantakeourtimeandexperimentanotherway.Wecandecidenottocarewhetherwefallasleepornot.Somefindnotcaringwhetherwedropoffornotcancauseustodozeoff.

Makeuseofthequietwhileawakeinthenight.UseittopracticetheFirstStep.Justasweadmittedourpowerlessnessoveraddiction,wecanlookatourinsomniainthesameway.LetourHigherPowerhandleboth.

Musicmayhelpstillourracingbrains.ReadingisalsoanoldstandbyforinsomniacsinandoutofN.A.Pickupabookandreadit.ReadNarcoticsAnonymousandlearnmoreaboutrecovery.

NewcomerstoN.A.sometimespanicwhentheyareunabletofallasleepinthemiddleofthenight.Wemustresistthecunning,baffling,andpowerfulinsanitythatitwouldbebettertotakeachemicaltohelpusfallasleep.

Itisnotofteninthisnoisy,fast-pacedworldthatwecanenjoysolitude.IthelpsusthroughalongnighttothankGodfortherareopportunitysleeplessnessoffersustocherishpeaceandquietseldom

availablebyday.

Wecanwrapdarknessarounduslikealover'sarms.Listentotinysoundsinthedark.Trytofigureoutwhattheyare.Makeagameofthenight.

UsuallywhenwegiveuptryingtogotosleepandletourHigherPowerhaveHiswaywewakeupalltoosoontofinditismorning.Wewonderwhathappenedtothestillofthenightwewereonlybeginningtoenjoywhenwefellasleep.

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Intheeveningsthatfollow,wecantryagaintousequietdarknessforsomethingbetterthansleep.Thistimeusetheweehoursofpeaceandsilencetomeditate.ThankGodforsuchraremomentsoftranquility.

Solitudeisagift.Letuscherishitthefewtimesitcomesourway,especiallyatnight.

21AnalyzeClichésInadditiontothesloganstherearemanyclichésrepeatedoverandoveragaininNarcoticsAnonymous.ThesebromidesarenosubstituteforworkingtheTwelveStepprogramofrecovery.Howevertherearetruthstobelearnedfrommostofthem,andfalsehoodstobewareofinsomeofthem.

PerhapsthemostcommonoftheseisKISS,whichstandsforKeepItSimple,Stupid.Thefirstthreewordsaregoodadvice.Thehumoroussalutationofthefourthwordismisleading.Stupidisusedonlyinjest.Nooneintendstoimplythatthoseofuswhoquitenaturallycomplicatemostthingsinourlives,includingourownrecovery,arestupid.Wearehuman,notstupid.

KeepingitsimplemeansstickingtotheTwelveSteps.Dowhattheysaywithoutinterpretingthem.TheStepsareexplicitlywrittenandmeanwordforwordexactlywhattheysay.

KeepitSimplemeansdonotcomplicateanySteptomakeitsaywhatwethinkitoughttomean.Itmeans,donotreviseasingleStep.

AdherepreciselytothesuggestionsmadeineachStep,onethroughtwelve,torecoverfromdrugaddiction.Itmeans,followthesimpleorderoftheSteps.

LaterwhenwehaverecoveredthroughpracticingallTwelveStepswewilllearntopickwhichStepstoselectivelyapplytoproblemsastheyarise.ButthenewcomerisadvisedtoKeepItSimple.

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DotheStepsinorderthefirsttimearound.Thiswillkeepusbusyenoughforsometimetocome.NobodycandoallTwelveStepsovernight.

IfwegetfrantictryingtojuggletheseunfamiliarStepsorfromillogicallyskippingbackandforthamongthem,webecomevulnerable.Anxiety,evenovertheSteps,isanunhealthystateofmindforanewlycleanaddict.

SerenityshouldgraduallyincreaseaswemovelogicallyfromtheFirstStep,wherewerecognizeourdisease,totheTwelfthStep,wherewecarrywhatwe'velearnedtootheraddicts.

DonotbeafraidtoaskforhelpfromasponsororanotherrecoveringN.A.memberwhoappearstobecalm.Heedadvicewhichseemsuncomplicated.UsuallythatadviceshouldbetoturnourlifeovertoourHigherPower'scare.WecangiveourHigherPowerfullchargeofourwillandthentrustit.Getusedtoonemethodofconfrontingproblems.AlwaysturntotheStepsandthosewhocanhelpworkthem.

Meanwhilestayascalmaspossible.Thesimplerourthinkingbecomesthemoresanelywebehave.Keepingitsimpleatleastgivesusmomentaryserenity.

InsteadofKeepItSimple,Stupid,KISSshouldstandfor,KeepItSimpleandSerene.

Anotherclichéwhichcanbehelpfulorharmful,dependingonhowitisapplied,isHALT.HALTstandsforHungry,Angry,Lonely,andTired.

Whenwebecometoohungry,tooangry,toolonely,tootired,oranycombinationofthesestateswebecomemorevulnerablethanwhenwearewell-fed,calm,ingoodcompany,andwell-rested.Butour

programmustbesomethingotherthantryingtototallyavoidbeinghungry,angry,lonely,ortired.OneofthefirstthingsweadmittointhisprogramisthatourlivesarenotmanageablebyusoranyoneelseexceptourHigherPower.

Hunger,anger,loneliness,andbeingtiredshouldsimplyputusonguard.Atsuchvulnerabletimesweturntooursponsor,meetings,literature,andtheStepstoseeussafelythrough.

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Obviouslywetrynottounnecessarilybecometoohungry,angry,lonely,ortired.Butwhenwefindourselvesinastatewhichoncewouldhavemovedustoseeksolaceindrugs,wenowseeksustenancefromN.A.friends,literature,andtheSteps.

Whenwefindourselvesexcessivelyhungry,angry,lonely,ortired,HALT!Wecanstopwhatwearedoingorfeelingforawhile.Turntotheprogram.GethelpfromNarcoticsAnonymous.

Thatiswhattheprogramisallabout.

OneofthemostusefulclichésheardaroundtheworldisStayOutofSlipperyPlaces.

Nomatterhowdeterminedwethinkwearetonotusedrugsagain,itmakesnosensetohangoutinplaceswhereothersgotogetstoned.Nothingcanbegainedfromreturningtothesceneofthecrime,butmuchcanbelost.Wecanlosebothourmindsandourlives.

Oldhabitsarehardtobreak.Socializingwiththeoldgangweuseddrugswithmayputmoretemptationdirectlyunderournosesthanwecanstand.Notonlyaretheexamplesofthosearoundusbad,buttheavailabilityofourfavoriteorotherdrugsmaybemorethanwecanhandle.

Somepeoplebelievewewhoinsistonfrequentingdrugusers'environmentsarenotputtingenoughroombetweenournewchanceforlifeandourolddisastrouswayofexisting.

Whatisthereinanoldhauntforarecoveringaddictwhowantstobeclean?Arewestillsofascinatedwiththelife-stylethatbroughtusgrovelingonourkneesforhelpthatwecannotdowithoutit?Themainattractionofthatscenewasthedrugs,andweclaimtowanttostayfreeofthat.Whatwouldwewanttogobacktoouroldhauntsforotherthanthedrugs?Thepeople?Thosewhohangoutinsuchplaces

arestoned.Dowewanttojointhem?

Letusnotkidourselves.Wantingtohangaroundotherswhoarestillusingisasuresignwetoowanttouseagain.Wemuststayoutofslipperyplacesifwedonotwanttorelapse.

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Therearealotmoreclichés.Analyzethem.Lookforthegoodandthebadinthem.Useonlythegood.AndrememberthatthemostusefulclichésareonlytemporarytooktohelpusstaycleanlongenoughtoworkourfullTwelveStepprogramofrecovery.

22ConfrontResentmentsResentmentisthemostdangeroustimebombaddictsconfront.Wehavealreadydiscussedtheunlikelihoodofalwaysbeingabletoavoidanger.Resentmentishangingontoanger,anditcankillus.

Resentmentdoesnothingtothepersonorpersonsweresent.Ithasnoeffectonthem.Itonlyaffectsus.Itmakesusmiserable.Resentmentisnotonlysustainedanger,itisperpetualmiserymiserypreservedindefinitely.

Resentmenthasbeenusedmorethananyotheremotionasanexcusetoreturntodrugs.Justifiableresentmenthasbeenespeciallyused.Justifiableresentmentiswhensomeoneelsehasdonesomethingsoawfultousthatwethinkwearejustifiedinfeelingmiserable.

Feelingmiserablelongenoughcanmakeusfeelrighteousaboutseekingrevenge.Foranaddictthisoftenmeansgettingstonedagainjusttogetbackatthepersonwhohurtus.Buttheonlyonewhogetshurtistheaddict.

Gettingstonedatsomeoneweresentmakesaslittlesenseaspunchingourselvestogetevenwithanotherperson.Yetwedoit.Wenurtureourresentmentswithapassionequaledonlybyoursubconsciousdesiretoreturntodrugsatanyexcuse.

Nothingiseasiertofindthaninjusticedonetousbysomeoneelse,

evenbysomeonewelove."I'llshowthatso-and-so,"wecryaswereachforthedrug."Thisisherfault,notmine!"

Manyanaddicthasblamedhisorherreturntoaddictiononaloverorspouse.Butitwasnottheloverwhodidthegreatestwrong.Theaddictdidittohimselforherselfwithdrugs.

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Justifiableresentmentsthatwenurseandpreservealltoooftenleadtoirrationalbehavior.Foranaddict,thatcanmeanusingdrugs.Whatelsecouldcalmusdownfromanythingascomplexas"irrationalrationalization"ofirrationalbehavior?Ifwewanttosurviveascleanaddicts,wemustdosomethingaboutourresentmentsassoonastheystarttobuild.Wecangetridofthembyaquickerandsaferwaythanbydriftingofftodoomsdayonacloudofdeadlydrugs.Therehastobeabetterwaytohandleresentmentsthantousedrugs.

Thereareseveralways.

Wecancloseoureyes,visualizethepersonweresentandenvelopethatpersoninlight.Itisnoteasytocontinueresentingsomeoneweseebathedinourownlight.

Wecanprayfortheoneweresent.Itisverydifficulttoresentandprayforsomeoneatthesametime.

Sometimesourresentmentsaresodeeprootedwefinditalmostimpossibletobathethesourceofourmiseryinlightortoprayforthepersonwesovividlyhate.Whatthenarewetodo?

Wecanapplyalittlereasontoourresentment.Wecanremembertheotherpersonmaybeassickasweareorwere.Thatperson'sactionorlackofactionwefeelsojustifiedinresentingmaybeonlyasymptomofhisorherillness.Insteadofresentingthatothersickperson,wecouldfeelsorryfortheoneweresent.Itishardtoresentapersonwefeelsorryfor.

Itisalsodifficulttofeelsorryforsomeonewereallyresent.Thereisasurewaytogetridofaresentment:wecanforgivethepersonweresent.Thatshoulddoit.Forgivethatotherperson.Thenwecanforgiveourselves.Theresentmentwillbegone.

Andremember,evenajustifiableresentmentisnotacceptableasan

excusetousedrugs.

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23BewareofSelf-PityToomuchconcentrationonourselvesisnotagoodwaytocomfortablystayclean.Theworstkindofself-obsessioniswhenwefeelsorryforourselves.

Self-pitycanbethemostpervasiveofallemotions.Thinkingabouthowbadthingsaregoingforuscompletelyblocksoutanyviewofhowwellthingsmightbegoing.Onelittlediscomfortingexperiencecansowrapusupinourmiserythatwewillbeunabletorecognizeopportunitiesforjoyandsuccess.

"Poorme.Woeisme!"Self-commiserationstothateffectareoftenthelastwordsofanaddictbeforereturningtotheallenveloping,futileindulgenceoftryingtosmotherourtroubleswithdrugs.Webecometotallyabsorbedwithourselveswhenthingsdonotgoourway.OuronlythoughtofourHigherPoweristoblameHimforlettingwhateverbothersushappentous.

WefeelbetrayedbypeopleandbyourHigherPower.Bewareofsuchexaggeratedconcernoverhowbadlyweallowourselvestofeelovermattersbeyondourcontrol.TemporarydisillusionmentwithGodcantemptustopermanentlyturnbacktotheonlyotherHigherPowerwehaveevertrustedinacrisis.Inthethroesofshamelessself-pitywemightfireGodandemploydrugs.

Acceptthebadaswhatnormallyaccompaniesthegood.WinstonChurchilldescribedlifeasachainmadeupoflinksofpainjoinedtogetherbylinksofpleasure.Whatistobegainedfromdrivingourselvesdeeperintodepressionbyceaselesslybellyachingtoourselvesaboutourmisfortunes?Letusrememberthelowswe

experiencearealwaysfollowedbyhighs.

Anothercliché,LiveinthePresent,isgoodadvicewhenthingsaregoingwell.Butwhentheworldcomestumblingdownitisbettertoforgetaboutlivinginthenowandadoptanothercliché,ThisTooShallPass.

Remember,everylowisfollowedbyahighunlesswefeelsosorryforourselveswedonotallowittohappen.

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GetOffthePityPotisanotherclichéwecanapplytoourselveswhenfeelinglow.Orwecanusethegoldenrule:Dountootherswhatyouwouldhavethemdountoyou.

Wecangetoutofourmiserybyhelpingsomeoneelse.ThereareplentyofmiserablepeopletohelpinN.A.Someofthemarejustcomingoffdrugs.Others,likeourselves,haveforgottentherealmiserythatmadeusaskforhelpinthefirstplace.

Wecouldbeoutthereusingagain.Nothingthathappenstouswhenwe'recleancanbeasbadaswhatcanhappenifwereturntotakingdrugs.

Whenfeelinglow,thefirstthingtodoiscontactanotherN.A.memberorgotoameeting.Ifthatisnotpossible,startreadingrecoveryliterature.Orpray.AskGod'sforgivenessforblamingourproblemsonHim.

GoingtoothersintheprogramintimesofdespairwillexposeustoN.A.optionsforhandlingproblems.Wealsowilllearnwearenotalone.Whateverisbotheringusenoughtomakeussinktofeelingsorryforourselveshashappenedrepeatedlytoothersinthefellowship.Askhowtheygotoverit.Dowhattheydidandwewillgetoverittoo.

Nomatterwhat,self-pityisnotavalidreasonfortakingdrugs.

24EnjoyLifebutBewareofOverconfidenceWecanbecomealmostasvulnerablefromfeelingtoohighaswhenwefeeltoolow.Feelingoverlyelatedcanmakeusoverconfident.Overconfidencemaymakeuscarelessaboutworkingourprogram.

Gettingcockycanpoiseusprecariouslyoverthedeependoftemptationtouseagain.

TheunexpectedlymarvelousfeelingofbeingcleanforawhilehasmisledmanyaninexperiencedN.A.membertothinkheorshehasbeencuredenoughtousedrugsagain.Thatshouldnotbesurprising.Wealwaysfeltoverconfidentafterwe

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hadtemporarilyrefrainedfromgettingloadedforawhile.Italwaysfeltgood.

"Ifeelgoodenoughtouseagain,"weusedtotellourselveswhenwehadtemporarilyrecoveredfromaboutofdrugsthathaddraggedussolowwehadtolayoffforatime.ThedifferenceisthatnowinN.A.weknowweneverreallygetoverit.

Wemustbelievewecanneveragainsuccessfullyuseanyformofmood-alteringsubstance.Doesthatmeanweshouldavoidgettinghighwithoutdrugs?Certainlynot.Weshouldtakeadvantageofeveryopportunitytoachievedrug-freehighs.Thereareplentyofthingstomakeusfeelgoodwithoutdrugs.

Goodfood,music,books,nature,sex,friends,sports,movies,thetheater,dances,andtravelareafewways.Marriage,jobpromotion,orbusinesssuccesscandoitforus.Itmakesnosensetoavoidlivinglifetothefullestjustbecausewearen'tusingdrugs.

Nomatterhowgoodwefeel,wearestilladdicts.Theuseofdrugstocelebratemakesusfeelashighasakitebutwewillalwayssinkintothethree-Ddepthsofdisaster,despair,anddepression.Itisnotmuchofafallfromheaventohell.Mostofushavealreadyseenaddictedfriendsaddthefourthdimensionofusingagain.Whycourtdeathwithdrugsasthepriceforgettingtoohighonlifewhenwecanstayclean?

Justrememberonething.Whenwefeelhighwithoutdrugs,thatisashighasweneedtoget.Drugswillnottakeusanyhigher.Drugswillshootusdown.

Whenmiraculousthingshappentoourcleanlife,enjoythemtothehilt.Feelingtoogoodwouldbearidiculousreasontogamblewithdrugs.Quittingiswhatmadeusfeelgood.Wecanstaycleanwhileweareahead.

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25RememberOurLastDrugHighWecan'tforgetwhathappenedthelasttimeweuseddrugs.Addictstendtorememberonlywhatwasgoodaboutusingdrugs.Whenwedreamaboutthepastweskipoverthelastmiserableexperiencewehadwithusingdrugs.Wegoclearbacktoatimewhenthedrugsworkedforusandmadeusfeelgood.Whowouldnotgobacktousingifitwouldbethewayitoncewaswhendrugsdidwhatwewanted?

Well,itdoesnotworkthatway.Foranaddictthereisnogoingbacktothegoodolddays.Eventhoseofuswhomanagedtostopbeforewehitabsolutebottomwillneverbeabletoreturntowhereweonceenjoyedgettinghighondrugs.

Wecanrememberhowlowwegotthelasttime.Addictionisaprogressivedisease.Ourfavoritesubstancewillknockusevenlowerifwetryitagain.Itwillbeasifwehadneverstoppedatall,sorememberhowbaditgotinsteadofhowgooditoncewas.Imaginehowitwillbewhenitgetsevenworse.Thereisnoturningback.Whenitcomestodrugs,wecannotgohomeagain.Itisalloverforusinthedrugusingdepartment.Ifwetryitagainitcouldverywellbealloverforusineverydepartment.

Stayingcleanisnotalottery.Wedonotgetlotsofchances.Theremaybeonlyonechance.Onceclean,wehavewon.Allweneeddotohangontoourwinningsisstayclean.

Donotfallvictimtotheyets.Incomparingourhistorywithothers'takecarenottoassumewecansafelyreturntousingbecausewehavenotsunkasmiserablylowasothersinthefellowship.Wecan'ttell

ourself,''Ihaven'tbeenbusted.Ihaven'tturnedtodealingorstealingtosupportmyhabit.Ihaven'tbeentreatedatahospitalforoverdose,beendivorced,orbeendisownedmyfamily.Ihaven'tlostmyjoborendedupinaninstitution,somaybeI'mnotreallyanaddict."

Ifwereturntousingdrugs,wecouldverywellfindourselvesbusted,firedfromourjobs,orfacingavarietyofothernegativeconsequences,includingdeath.

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Mostofall,wecankeepaclearpictureinourcleanmindsabouthowwretcheditwasthelasttimewegotstoned.Rememberthefear,despair,demoralization,andphysicalproblemsweexperiencedthelasttimewegothigh.

Ifwecannotrememberhowawfulitwas,wecantakeagoodlookatashattereddisbelieverwhodecidedtotryitagain.Wecanseehowthispersontookthelastchanceandappearstobehopelesslyaddicted.

Forthoseofuswhokeeptryingtouseagain,theyetswillcometrue.Allthebadthingsmaynothavehappenedtousyet,buttheywillifweforgetwhywehadtostopusing.

Rememberingourmiseryinthepasthelpsusstaycleaninthenow.

26BeGratefulAnN.A.memberwhoisgratefulforbeingcleanisnotapttouseagain.Beingungratefulforourrecoverymeanswehavenotrecoveredatall.

Whatdidwehavebeforewegothere?Wehadalifefullofproblemswithonlythetemporarysolutionofusingdrugs.Whatdowehavenow?Westillhavealifefilledwithproblems.Butnowwehavetwelveremarkablewaystogetthroughourdifficulties.Wehaveasolutiontoproblemsmoreeffectiveandlastingthandrugs.WehaveTwelveStepstohelpussurviveourproblems.

Thepredicamentsoflivingarejustasrealforarecoveringaddictastheyareforthepracticingaddict.Infact,theyaremorereal.Ascleanpeople,painhurtsusmorenowthanitdidwhilewewereusingdrugs.Onlynowweacceptpainandgetthroughitwiththeknowledgethat

wearegoingtofeelgreatontheotherside.Weshouldbegratefulforthat.

PracticingtheTwelveStepsisnotawaytoavoidcatastrophiesandannoyancesofeverydayliving.TheStepsonly

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helpustosurvivemisfortunesanddiscomfortsoflife.Theyhelpuscomeoutsmiling.Isthatnotsomethingtobethankfulabout?

Ifwefeelsorryforourselvesbecausewecannotusedrugsanymore,weareungrateful.HowcanwethankaGodwefeelhasplayedadirtytrickonusbydeprivingusofourfavoritedrugs?

Gratitudeisastateofgrace.Eitherwearegratefulorwearenot.Ifnot,canwemakeourselvesfeelthankful?Wecanifwestoptocountourblessings.

Wecanthinkagainabouthowwewerewhendrugsbetrayedusandhowwearenow.Donotlookbackuponthegoodtimesthatprecededthebad.Wecanonlyrecalltheworstofourdrug-usingdays.

Gratitudecanbedevelopedbycountingthegoodthingsinourlivesinsteadofthebad.Fivepercentofourexperiencescanmakeusfeelawfulifweignorethe95percentofwhatmakesusfeelgood.

Shrugoffthesmallpartoflivingthatseemstogowrong.ThankGodforthehealthyportionoflifethatgoesright.

AskwhysomanyrecoveringN.A.membersaregratefultheyareaddicts.TheywilltellustheyaregratefulbecauseiftheyhadnotbeenaddictedtodrugstheymightneverhavegottenintoN.A.WithoutN.A.theymightneverhaveheardoftheTwelveSteps.TheymighthavecontinuedtodisbelieveinaHigherPowerortheirfellowhumans.Theycouldhavediedthinkinglifeconsistedonlyofgettingstonedandtakingmoredrugstotrytoavoidwithdrawal.

"ThankGodI'manaddict!"therecoveringN.A.memberwillexclaim."IfIweren'tImightneverhavegottentothisprogramandlearnedhowtolive."

ThereismuchmoretoNarcoticsAnonymousthangettingoffdrugs.N.A.teachesushowtolivelifetothefullestwhilewearecleanand

toenjoythewonderofreality.

ThankGodfornewfriends,thegreatmissionofcarryingthemessageoftheTwelveStepstootheraddicts,andhelpingresurrectthemtoahappylife.Thesearethingstobegratefulfor.

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Someold-timersusetwoone-wordprayersatthebeginningandendofeachday.WhentheywakeupinthemorningtheylookuptoGodandsay,"Please."Whentheyarereadytogotosleepatnighttheylookupagainandsay,"Thanks."

ItisimpossibletousewhilethankingourGodandourfellowN.A.membersforkeepingusclean.

27BeGoodtoOurselvesOneofthebestwaystoavoiddrugsistokeephappyandbegoodtoourselves.

AtfirstsomeofusenteringN.A.aresuspiciousofthosememberswhoappeartobehavingagoodtimewhiletheyareclean.Allthathuggingandlaughingatmeetings,shoutingandlaughteratN.A.dances,andslappingoneanotheronthebackdoesnotseemrighttous.

"Thisisalifeanddeathbusiness,"somewillcorrectlytellus,addingwithadashofdiscouragement,"Youhadbettertaketheprogramseriouslyoryoumaydie."

Itisseriousbusiness,butthatdoesnotmeanitisagainsttherulestohavefun.WecanenjoyourselveswhileadheringtotheTwelveStepsofrecovery.Infact,theywillhelpusenjoyourselvesmore.

Someofususeddrugstohavefun.Nowwecanlearntohavefunwithoutthem.Wearedoingsomethingaboutourproblem.Wedeservetorewardourselvesfortryingtostraightenoutourlives.

Wehaveearnedtherighttoeatgoodfood,takelongwalks,enjoygoodbooks,gotothemovies,andgenerallyhaveagoodtime.Wedo

notneedanyoneelsetogiveusthesethings.Wecangivethemtoourselves.Wedeservethem.

Enjoyingthepleasureallarounduswillhelpkeepusfromwantingtouseagain.

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Wedonothavetogooverboardinseekingthesejoys.Enjoyinggoodfooddoesnotmeanbecomingcompulsiveovereaters.Beingwell-fedwillhelpkeepthatoldgnawingfordrugsawayaslongaswedonotoverdoit.Thereisnothingtobegainedfromexchangingoneself-destructivecompulsionforanother.Beinggoodtoourselvesincludestakingcareofourhealth.

Exerciseisawaytobegoodtoourselves.Wecangetourbodiesbackinshapeinordertobetterenjoythem.Therearelotsoffunwaystoworkout.Exercisereleasestensionsthatmaytemptusbacktousing.

Camping,fishing,goingtoartgalleries,shopping,anddatingareallactivitiestomakeourselveshappy.Hobbiesaregoodreplacementsfordrugs.Sailing,snorkeling,scubadiving,andsurfingarehealthywaystohavefun.

Theimportantthingistohavefun.Ifweenjoyourselvesenoughwhilewe'reclean,wewon'tdreamoflousingitupbyreturningtoouroldhabits.Wecangiveourselvesabreak.

Thereisabig,widewonderfulworldoutthere.Stayingcleanmakesitourstoenjoy.Goforit!

28AvoidAlcoholandOtherDrugOccasionsTosafelygethighonlifewithoutalcoholorotherdrugswehavetostopassociatingfunwithsubstance-orientedoccasions.Wemustbecomeawarethatpartieswhichroutinelyincludealcoholorotherdrugshavelittletoofferbeyondtemptationtogetstoned.

Ifwekeepgoingwherewealwayswentwewillcontinuetofindwhatwealwaysfound.Wecanhardlyavoidmiseryifwekeeplookingin

placeswealwaysfoundit.

ItisvitalthatanewcomerinN.A.learntosayno.Itmaybetoolatetosaynotodrugsifwecontinuallyputourselvesintemptingpositions.Itiseasiertosaynowhenwedonotdeliberatelyplaceourselvesinthewayoftemptation.

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Itmakesnosensetogoswimmingifwedonotwanttogetwet.Aswimishardtoresistwhensomeonesays,"Comeonin."

Inmostcases,whenwe'reinvitedtoapartywherealcoholorotherdrugswillbeservedallwehavetosayis,"Nothankyou."Itisthatsimple.Itmaynotbeeasyatfirst,butitissimple.Ifwewanttostayoutofharm'swaywecanpolitelyturndowntheinvitation.

Somepeoplemayinsistonknowingwhywedonotwishtoattendsocialeventswherealcoholorotherdrugswillbeused.It'sallrighttosay,"BecauseIamtryingtolayoffdrugsrightnow.ItwillbeeasierifIdon'tgotopartiesforawhile."

Ifourhostaskswhywearetryingtostayoffdrugs,wecancasuallysay,"Forreasonsofhealth,"whichistrue,or"IwanttoquitwhileI'mstillchamp,"whichishumorous.Orwecansay,"Ihavetobesomewhereelse,"whichisabsolutelytrueifwewanttostayclean.

Sometimesbusinessorfamilyfunctionsobligateustoattenddespitethefactthatalcoholorotherdrugswillbeserved.Forsuchacommandperformance,dojustthat.Appearandleave.

Mandatoryattendanceatapartywillnottemptusifwerememberwearethereoutofobligationandnottousealcoholorotherdrugs.Arequiredsocialfunctionwillnotreturnustousingdrugsunlesswedecidetouseitasanexcuse.

Cleanaddictsarelikesubjectsofhypnosis.Nothingcanmakeusdoanythingwedonotwanttodo.Wedonotusedrugsonlybecauseweareataparty.Weusethembecausewewantto.Unlesswearerequiredtobeatsuchaparty,wemayattendthepartybecausewesubconsciouslywanttouseagainmorethanwewanttostayclean.

Ifweattendapartyonlybecausesomethingotherthandrugsrequiresustobetherewewillbepreparednottorelapse.Wewilleitherbe

disinterestedindrugsorpreparedtoresistthem.Toremaininthatsafeframeofmindisagoodreasontodiscretelyleavethepartyassoonaspossible.

Commonsensetellsusthelessweexposeourselvestodrug-usingsituations,thelesschancethereisofusingsuchanoccasionasanexcusetodropoutofN.A.

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Ifwestillfindourselvesuncertainaboutwhetherornottoexposeourselvestothedangersofasocialfunctionwhereweknowalcoholandotherdrugswillbeserved,wecanaskoursponsororanotherrecoveringN.A.memberforcounsel.OraskourHigherPower.

IfasituationsuddenlyariseswhentherearenoN.A.memberstoconsult,wecansummonallthecommonsensewepossess.Tostayawayfromdrugs,wecanavoidplaceswheretheyareeasytoget.Wecangetawayfromthefireunlesswewanttogetburned.

29ChangeDailyHabitsUsingdrugswasahabit.Acquiringdrugswasahabit.Thetimewemadeforobtainingandingestingdrugshadbecomeroutine.Ourentirepatternoflivinghadbeenbuiltaroundspecificwaysandmeansofobtainingandusingthesubstanceswehadbecomedependentupon.Whatwedidwhileweweren'tusingdrugshadalsobecomepartofourschemeforgettingaroundtousingdrugs.

Formostofus,lifehadbecomeaclankingchainmadeupoflinksofgettingstonedandlinksoffeverishactivitytosupportourhabit.Nowthatthedrugisgone,onlythelinksoffeverishactivityremain.

Anaddictrecentlyoffmood-alteringsubstancesislikelytoretainthepanicthatformerlykepthimorhersupplied.Atfirstweareapttoheadforallthesameplacesanddoallthesamethingswedidbetweenboutswithdrugs.Ifweallowourselvestofollowthesamechainofactivityeventhoughthedruglinksaremissingweareliabletomissthedrugsevenmore.

Sinceourlivesnowdependonstayingoffdrugsinsteadoffranticallymaneuveringtoobtainandusethemwemustbehaveeachdayina

newway.Ourroutinemustchange.Wemustlearntodothingsdifferentlythanwedidbefore.

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"Allweareaskedtodoischangeourcourse180degrees,"manyhavecommentedindescribingthenewwayoflifenecessarytostayclean.

Manycleannewcomershavefoundithelpstovaryeverythingtheydofromthewaytheyfunctionedwhilesupportingtheirhabit.Thismightbeginbygettingupatadifferenttime,prayingforhelptogetthroughtheday,ormeditating.

Forthoseofuswhodonothavejobs,wecanstartlookingforone.Forthoseofuswhousedtomakealivinginthedrugtrade,wemustgetoutofitnow.ThenotionthatgettingcleaninN.A.mightmakeyoumoreefficientandprosperousasadrugdealeristoofaroffthebeamtoevendiscuss.Manyhavehadtogetridofnotionslikethatinordertorecover.

ThoseofuswhoareusedtohangingoutonthestreetmustfindsomewhereindoorstominglewithcleanN.A.members.N.A.meetingsarewonderfulplacestomeetpeopleandlearnhowtorecoverbymeansoftheTwelveSteps.

Physicalexercisecanreplacethetimeweusedtodevotetodrug-relatedactivities.OftenwearriveinN.A.withlaggingphysicalstrength.Running,walking,pumpingiron,aerobicexercising,andotherwaystogetbackinshapeoffervarietyfromouroldroutinesforgettingthroughtheday.

Wecanstarttakingamoreactiveroleincommunityandworldlyawareness.Wecanstartwatchingthenewsontelevisionandreadinganewspapereveryday.Wemayevenwanttogetinvolvedatalocallevelasavolunteerstuffingenvelopesorringingdoorbellsforacandidateorcause.

Ifwefindmoretimeonourhandsthanweknowwhattodowith,wecantrygettingmoreeducation.Gobacktoschoolpart-timeorfull-time.Itisnevertoolatetolearnhowtobecomeafashiondesigneror

anairlinepilot.Thereisnoendofopportunitiestoimproveacleanmind.Thereisnolimittotheknowledgewecanabsorb.

Varyingdailybehaviorcaneliminatemanyofthosecommoninstanceswhenweusedtothinkofdrugs.Forawhile,ourdrugreflexesmaybetriggeredeverytimewereturntobehavioreven

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remotelysimilartothatwhichsurroundedourpastdrugusage.Changethesituationandwecanpreventthatreflex.

Wecanalterourdailyways.Ifwecreatenewcleanhabitstoreplacetheoldwecangiveourselvesadifferentperspectiveonlife.Wewillbeamazedathowmuchbrightereverythinglookswhenwegetoutofthebehavioralrutthatdrugskeptusin.

TheeasiestwaytoresistdrugsuntiltheTwelveStepstakeoveristoignorethem.Keepingdrugsoutofsightwillhelpkeepdrugsoutofmind.

30GotoN.A.MeetingsOnehabittoformimmediatelyistogotoalotofN.A.meetings.Whenwewonderhowoftentogo,considerhowoftenweuseddrugs.

Manyold-timersinN.A.advisenewcomersto,"Goto90meetingsin90days."

Whenanewcomerasks,"HowlongdoIhavetogotomeetingseveryday?"theansweris,"Youhavetokeepgoinguntilyouwanttogoeveryday."

Anotherwayofputtingitis,"Gotodailymeetingsuntilyoulearntopronounceanonymity.Continuetogountilyounolongercansayit."

Goingtoonemeetingeachweektakesabout52hoursand$52ayearofourtimeandmoney,providedwedropabuckintothebasketeachtime.Thatisnotmuchofaninvestmenttosaveourlives.

Mathematicallogicwillconcludethatapersonwhogoestomeetingstwotimesaweekwilllearntwiceasmuchinthesametimeasthe

memberwhogoestoonemeetingaweek.Thoseofuswhogotofiveweeklymeetingsgainfivetimesasmuchknowledgeasthosewhogoonceaweek.

N.A.memberswhogotomeetingseverydaywilltellusitbecomesacompulsiontoattend.Nodayseemsquitecomplete

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withoutameeting.Howmanymeetingswegotoisentirelyuptous.Itdependsonhowsoonwewanttobehappywithoutdrugs.

Thereisatraditionwhichstates,"Eachgrouphasbutoneprimarypurposetocarrythemessagetotheaddictwhostillsuffers."N.A.'sTwelveStepstorecoverymakeupthemessagereferredtointhistradition.TorecoverwemustheartheStepsreadaloudanddiscussedagainandagainuntilwegraduallytakethemall.

Thefewermeetingswegotothemorewehurt.TheworseourpaingetsthemorefrequentlyweneedtohearthemessageoftheTwelveSteps.StayingawayfrommeetingsisagoodwaynottohearN.A.'smessageveryoften.

OnlyourHigherPowercanpermanentlyrelieveusofdrugdependency.FrequentcontactwithourHigherPowerisouronlyhope.

NoneofusisindividuallycapableofmaintainingconstantcontactwiththatPowergreaterthanourselves.NomatterhowhardwetrytoworktheTwelveStepsthatputHiminchargeweconstantlytrytotakebackcontrolofouruncontrollablelives.

EverytimewetakechargeweneedtofindGodagainasquicklyaspossible.TheeasiestplacetocontactourHigherPowerisatanN.A.meeting.

Thereisasayingthat,"TheonlyonewhonevermissesanN.A.meetingisGod."

NarcoticsAnonymousmeetingsarelikelinksinachain.NooneisalwaysincontactwithGod.YetatanymomentofanN.A.meeting,someoneelseisincontactwiththeHigherPower.Whenwejointhoseincontact,therestofuscanlatchon.

ItisimpossibletoleaveanN.A.meetingwithouthavingexperienced

somesortofcontactwithaPowergreaterthanourselves.ThatPowerwillkeepuscleanuntilthenextmeetingifweletit.

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ThemorewegotomeetingsthebetterchanceourHigherPowercanhelpus.StayingawayfrommeetingsonlykeepsusapartfromGod.NoonewillingtogotoanylengthstostaycleanwilldeliberatelydodgetheonlyHigherPowerthatcansaveus.

JustastheprimarypurposeofanN.A.groupistocarrytheTwelveStepmessage,thesinglemostimportantreasonfornewcomerstoattendmeetingsistocontinuallyhearthatmessage.

Thereareotherfringebenefitsobtainablewhenwegettogethertoshareexperience,strength,andhopewithN.A.members.Firstamongtheseisfellowship.Itisremarkablyreassuringtoknowweareinaroomfilledwithothercleanaddictswhohaveexperiencedwhatwehave.Itisnicetoknowwecantalkaboutfearsanduncertaintiesoffacinglifewithoutdrugsandbeunderstoodbyotherswhohavefeltorarefeelingthesameemotions.

Mostofushavealwayswantedtobelongtosomething.Peerpressurefromagangorsocialgroupwewantedtobelongtoprobablygotusstartedondrugs.Wejoinedthosewesoughttoidentifywithbyusingwhattheywereusing.Andwhenwedidwedroppedevenfurtheroutofhumanity'sembracethanwehadalreadybeen.

Drugaddictionisadiseaseofisolation.Nomatterhowmanyusingfriendswetriedtosurroundourselveswithwewerealwaysalone.Wewillneverbeassolitaryasinthemiseryofourbetrayalbydrugs.WhenwearriveatN.A.'sdoorstepwearelonely.

NosocietyofmenandwomenismoreunitedandlovingthanN.A.Fellowsuffererswhohavegrownsickandtiredofbeingsickandtiredgathertogetherinlaughing,caringgroupsallovertheworld.Atlastwebelongtosomethingasbigastheearth.

AnotherN.A.traditionisthat,''Theonlyrequirementformembershipisadesiretostopusing."Thatsimplerequirementincludeseveryone

whosuffersfromdrugaddiction,yetonlythosewhohave"adesiretostopusing"canbelong.

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Forthoseofuswhohavebeenfeelingsorryforourselvesbecausewesufferourdisease,forgetit.Ifwehavebeencrying,"Whyme?"relax.Whynotme?Thereisnothingunusualaboutbeingaddicted.Itiscommonplace.ThereareaddictsatallsociallevelsfromParkAvenuepenthousestocellblocksofeverypenitentiaryontheplanet.Anyonecanbeanaddict.

Ifwewanttobespecial,wecanbeaddictswhodonotusedrugs.Thatistrulyspecial.OnlythoseofuswhoarespecialcanbecomemembersinthefellowshipofN.A.WehavereallyarrivedwhenwebecomeamemberofN.A.Atlastwebelongtoafellowshipofexceptionalmenandwomenwholoveus.

Inadditiontobeingthemostsuccessfuldrugrecoveryprograminhistory,N.A.membershipincludesavastvarietyofpeople.Memberscantraveltonearlyanycountryonearthandbeonafirstnamebasiswithlovingfriends.TheseN.A.meetingscanhelpusestablishfriendshipsandfindoutinformationwhenwefindouselvesawayfromhome.

TheprinciplesofgrouptherapyareatworkinanN.A.meeting.Whilesuchagatheringmaynotbethewisestforumtoairallourpersonalproblems,itisagreatplacetodiscussourproblemswithsomeonewhowefeelwecantrust.Sharingexperience,strength,andhopewithothermembersatameetingwillmakeusfeelbetternomatterhowfouledupthedaymayhaveseemedbeforethemeeting.Foranaddictwithaheachacheameetingisagoodsubstituteforaspirin.MoreachesandpainsenteranyN.A.meetingthanleaveit.

NewcomersmayatfirstbefrightenedbyallthehuggingthatgoesonatN.A.meetings.ButthevalueofN.A.huggingbecomesappreciated.Itevenbecomesaddictive.Beinghookedonhuggingisfarsaferthanbeingstrungoutondrugs.

Onetraitnearlyallcleanaddictsshareisextremesensitivity.Whennotdulledbychemicalsourbrainsreallytakestockofwhatgoesonaroundus.Thestraightworldisasfullofhypocrisyastheworldofaddicts.Ournewlyclearedheadsdonotmissafalsebeat.

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Hypocrisyisacutelypainfultoarecoveringaddict.Weneedsomeplacetoescapethepitifuldeceptionsandintriguesoftherealworld.ThereisnobetterplacetofindrefugefromhypocrisythananN.A.meeting.ThereisnosaferspacethaninaroomfullofhonestlycaringN.A.members.

"Ineedameeting,"isafeelingoftensharedbyN.A.members."IreallyneededanN.A.meetingtoday,"isstatedbyparticipantsateverymeetingofNarcoticsAnonymous.Asurewaytostayoffdrugsisto,"Gotolotsofmeetingsanddon'tuseinbetween.''

31BewareofExcusesThosewhodecidetoleavethefellowshipandusedrugsagainhavenodifficultyfindingaplausiblesoundingreasonfordoingso.

"Myloverleftme.Ican'tstandthepain,"isacommonexcuseusedtotakedrugs.Descenttousingcaneasilybeblamedoncatastrophesoflove.

"Ilostmyjobandgotdepressed.Mydoctorprescribedamoodelevator,"isanoftenhearddoubleexcuse.Thereturntodrugsisoftenblamedonemployersanddoctors.

"Mymotherdied.Isimplycan'tgotothefuneralwithoutsomethingtocalmmedown,"isalogicalsoundingcop-out.

"Igottoohungry,angry,lonely,andtired,soIusedagain,"isafour-barreledrationalizationforreturningtodrugs.

"IhadatoothachesoItookapainpill,"isanotherwayofpassingtheblameforpoppingpills.

"Everybodyelsewasdoingit,"explainsanotheraddictwhorelapsed."Ifigureditwouldn'thurttojointhemjustonce."Usingdrugscanalwaysbeblamedonmakingourselvessociallyacceptable.

"Beingcleanboredmetodeath,"anotherrationalizes."Ineedsomethingtoliftmeup."

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ManyN.A.memberswhorelapseusedrugsaftergettingupsetatameeting."Thatspeakerwasfullofbaloney,"istheflimsyexcuse."Hedrovemebacktodrugs."

"WhenIcalledmysponsorhewasn'thome,"isaweakwaytoshiftblameforusingdrugsagain.

EvenN.A.'sTwelveStepsofrecoveryaresometimesusedtojustifyreturningtoaddiction."MyFourthStepinventorywastooscary,"anaddictwhorelapsedwillsay."Ihadtosmokeajointtofaceuptothetruth."

Mostexcusessoundfragileunlessweunconsciouslycontemplateusingthemourselves.InN.A.noexcuseisacceptableforgoingbacktodrugs.Wecanalwayscreateanexcusetouseadrug.Wecanavoidusingbyavoidingfantasieswhichcouldjustifydruguse.

Usuallytheexcuseiscreatedlongbeforewerealizeweintendtouseit.Inthecunningrecessesofanaddict'sbrainavoicewhispers,"Itwouldbeforgivabletotakedrugsagainifmychildgotrunoverbyatruck."

Orthateasilyrecognizablevoicemightsay,"IfnuclearwarbeginsandeveryoneIloveorknowgoesupinamushroomcloud,whocouldblamemeforusing?"

Orwemaycreateareallycomplicatedscenario."IfIgotpinnedbyonelegunderaburningcaronthefreewayandtheambulancedriverofferedtogivemeapainkillerbeforeamputatingmyleg,wouldIlethim?"

Oritcouldbeaglamorousfantasylike,"IfIweresittinginaparkedcarinfrontofanapartmenthouseandagorgeousredheadcameouttoinvitemeinforalineofcoke,wouldIgo?"

Nothingisfarfetchedforthetrickymindofanaddictseekingan

excusetousedrugsagain.Letusanalyzethedesperationinherentinthewildexamplescreatedtodemonstratehowcunning,baffling,andpowerfulourdiseasereallyis.

Wemustbecarefulofwhatweimagine.Anythingwedreammightreallyhappen.Ifwelookcloselyatourfavoritefantasies,wemaydiscoverintentionsofreturningtodruguse.We

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maydiscoverwe'relookingforexcusestoreturntoourformerdrughabits.

Therearetwowaystohandleexcuses.Oneistoavoidthem.Theotheristofaceuptothem.Recognizethemforwhattheyare.

InN.A.wehearallexcuses.Wecollectthem.Wespotthoseusedbyaddictsluckyenoughafterrelapsetogetbackintoourfellowship'swelcomingfold.Weidentifyexcusesbeingdevelopedbythosewhoareabouttodisappearfromourmidst.Welearntoidentifyexcuses,sowecanrecognizethemwhenwearetemptedtousethem.

Addictsabouttoleapbackintothedrugabyssoftenbeginbyfindingfaultwithsomethingorsomeoneinthefellowship.Theystopgoingtomeetingsbecausetheroomistoosmoky.Theydonotlikethesecretary.Therearetoomanysicknewcomerspresent.Theycannotstandlisteningtoallthoseboring"drug-alogues."

Therearethosewhothinktheycannotassociatewith"losersandstreetpeople"whogotoN.A.meetings.Thefactisthereallosersarethoselookingforawaytoexcusethemselvesfromthegroup.

Thereversemayalsobetrue.Sometimes"liberals"refusetoassociatewithconservative"highbrows"inagroup.Orwemayquitbecauseagroupconsciencevoteistakenwhichgoesagainstourconceptofhowmeetingsshouldberun.Wecanalwaysfindsomethinginanymeetingtogetmadenoughabouttostompoutandseeksurroundingsconducivetousingdrugsagain.

Boycottingameetingbecauseamajorityofitsmembersdifferfromussocially,politically,racially,orreligiouslyisahandywaytoblamethefellowshipforturningusbackdowntheendlesstunnelofaddiction.

Anotherwayforanaddictwhowantsoutistotellhim-orherselfthere

istoomuch"Godtalk"atN.A.meetings."Ididn'tcomeheretogetreligion,"theagnosticoratheistabouttoleavewillcomplain.RefusaltorecognizethatN.A.isspiritualrather

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thanreligiouswillopenacrackforanonbelievertofallthrough;thisisahellwhereaddictswillhavenopowertoturntheirwillandlifeovertoaHigherPower.

ForamemberofNarcoticsAnonymousthereisnoacceptableexcuseforusingdrugsagain.

Ifwefindsomeone'sreasonsforusingdrugsagainasvalid,beware.Ifwethinkwewouldreturntodrugsifwehadsomeone'sproblems,beware.Wecouldbesettingourselvesuptouseagainwhensimilarthingsoccurinourlives.Excusesweacceptforothersmayeventuallybeemployedbyourselves.

Wemaythinkacceptinganother'sreasonsforrelapsingisaformofunderstanding.Inreality,validatinganyrationalizationforrelapsingishowwestoreexcusestojustifyourreturntodrugs.

Collectaddicts'reasonsforleavingN.A.Labelthemclearlysowecanidentifythem.Labelthemexcuses.

Noexcusefortryingtoescapeproblemsbytakingdrugsisacceptabletousanymore.Theescaperouteforausingaddictleadstohell.

32SeekProfessionalHelpAtfirstsomeofusthinkknockingoffdrugswillsolveallourproblems.Notso.Ifourcarbreaksdownwestillneedamechanic.Legalproblemsmayrequireustoretainalawyer.Poorhealthmaycauseustoconsultaphysician.

NoamountofcleantimeissufficientqualificationforanyoneinN.A.tobecomeourpsychiatrist,financialplanner,ormarriagecounselor.Nosoundbusinesspersongoestoanamateurforadviceonhowto

runacompany.Therearequalifiedbusinessconsultantsforthat.N.A.meetingsorsponsorsarenotskilledinsuchmatters.

Ifweneedaloanweshouldgotoabank,savingsandloan,orfinancecompany.Aprofessionalcounselorcanofferbetter

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solutionstoarelationshipproblemthananyuntrainedpersonatanN.A.meeting.SpecificadviceonhowtosolvepersonalproblemsisnotN.A.'spurpose.

ManyofusarriveinN.A.withspecialneedsnotabletobemetatmeetings.ThereisnosuchthingasalegalgroupinN.A.tohelpwithlitigationproblems.N.A.hasnorelationshipgroupstosolveemotionalentanglements.Therearenosexgroupstohelpwithdysfunction.Wedonothavementalhealthgroupstodealwithpsychiatricproblems.

FortheseandmanyotherdifficultiesN.A.membersarenodifferentthananyoneelse.Wemustconsultprofessionals.

SomememberswillincorrectlystatethatthosewhoregularlyattendN.A.meetingsneednotconsultpsychotherapists.ThoseofusuntrainedinpsychotherapyhavenorighttosaysuchathingundertheguiseofTwelveStepping.Atbest,suchuninformedopinionispracticingmedicineorpsychologywithoutalicense.Atworst,itisnoneofourbusiness.

N.A.doesnotprofesstocureallillsorsolveallproblems.TheTwelveStepsofrecoveryfromdrugaddictionaretheonlysolutionN.A.canoffertohelpsolvepersonaldifficulties.Godmaymotivateatroubledmembertogotoapsychiatristorclergyman.Whoarewetodeterminewhichofusconsultfamilycounselorsorpsychologists?

Onlyamateursofferfreeadviceonhowtosolveintimateproblems.Someamateursunconsciouslytrytocontrolusbytellinguspreciselyhowtomanageourpersonalaffairsifwewanttostayclean.Ifwefeelintimidatedtobehaveonlyinacertainsuggestedmannerwemaybeundersuchaspelllaidonbyanamateur.

Awomanwhohatesmenwilladviseotherwomentohavenothingtodowithmen.Amanwhodislikeslawyerswillrecommendthatwe

defendourselvesincourt.Amanwhoabuseswomenwilltellothermento,"Love'emandleave'em."Adivorcedpersonwilloftencounselamarriedpersonto,"Packupandleave!"

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ManyprofessionalsbelongtoNarcoticsAnonymous.Therearedoctors,lawyers,bankers,andpriests.ApsychiatristwhobelongstoN.A.wouldnomoregivefreepsychiatrictreatmentthanalawyerwouldhandleacaseincourtwithoutcompensation.AnN.A.memberwhosellscarswouldnotprovideuswithafreeautomobile,norwouldadentistwhobelongstoourfellowshipfixourteethfornothing.Askthem.Theywillquoteapriceorfeeforprofessionalservice.ButtheywillchargeusnothingtotellusalltheyknowabouttheTwelveStepsofN.A.

ManyhavefoundithelpfultoaugmenttheirN.A.programofrecoverybyconsultingprofessionalstotreattheiraddiction.Thereisnothingwrongwiththat.MostprofessionalswhotreataddictionapplyN.A.'sTwelveStepstotheirtherapy.NearlyeveryreputabletreatmentcentersuggestsdischargedpatientscontinuegoingtoNarcoticsAnonymousaslongastheylive.

N.A.innowaycompeteswithhospitalsortreatmentcenters.N.A.doesnotendorsethem.TheyendorseN.A.Ourfellowshipfullycooperateswithprofessionalswhotreataddiction.Ourpolicytowardsuchtherapistsandprivateorpublicinstitutionsiscalled,"cooperationwiththeprofessionalcommunity."

Ifanyofusfeelweneedprofessionalhelponanymatterincludingaddiction,weshouldfindit.NarcoticsAnonymouswillprovidelove,understanding,support,andtheTwelveStepsofrecoverywhetherweconsultprofessionalsornot.

33WorktheTwelveStepsThereisonlyoneprogramofrecoveryfromaddiction;itiscalledthe

TwelveSteps.ThepurposeoftheothertechniquesdescribedinthisbookletistokeepusfittopracticetheTwelveSteps.

TheStepscanbestudiedthoroughlyinN.A.literature.Noamountofstudywillbeexcessive.Therecannotbetoomuchknowledgeofthesetwelvepricelessprinciples.

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TheyarecalledStepssowewilltakethemoneatatime.Theyarenumberedonethroughtwelveintheorderwetakethem.

AfterwehavecompletedStepOne,whereweadmitourdisease,throughStepTwelve,wherewerecover,wewilllearntousetheStepsselectivelytomeetspecificsituations.UntilthenwedotheStepsinthefollowingorder:

1.Weadmittedthatwewerepowerlessoverouraddiction,thatourliveshadbecomeunmanageable.Weacknowledgeitisimpossibletoexertanycontroloverdrugs,includingalcoholandprescriptions.Weacceptitishopelesstotrytomanageanypartofourlives,includingstayingclean.Wecannotdoit.Itisuselesstotry.Weadmititandmoveon.

2.WecametobelievethataPowergreaterthanourselvescouldrestoreustosanity.Wemustbelievebeyonddoubtthatweareinsanewhetherweareusingdrugsornot.ThisStepmustapplytousinordertotakeit.TorecoverwemusttakeallTwelveSteps.Tryingtomanageunmanageablelivesisinsanity.Tryingtocontrolwhatcannotbecontrolledisnuts.Persistentlytryingtomanageourlivesproveswearecrazy.Ifwecannotmanageanything,whocan?OnlyaPowergreaterthanourselves.WeneednotbelievethisPowerwillrestoreoursanity,weneedonlybelievesuchapower"couldrestoreustosanity."Ifwethinkitmight,wemoveon.

3.WemadeadecisiontoturnourwillandourlivesovertothecareofGodasweunderstoodHim.Wedecidetodoit,nottopostponeit.Withoutdelaywegambleeverythingweeverwillbeonagreatunknownthatmightnotbethere.Wedonotask.Wedo.Weplace100percentofthemanagementofourlivesintoGod'shands.Wegiveupallcontrol.Healonebecomesresponsibleforevery

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feeling,thought,andact.Wesurrenderunconditionally.Inanswerto,"Whoisgoingtorunmylife?I?OrGod?"WeconsciouslycontactourHigherPowerandsay,"God,takecharge!"Nolongerresponsibleformanagingourlives,wemoveon.

4.Wemadeasearchingandfearlessmoralinventoryofourselves.Weexamineourbehavior.Wewriteaninventory,notahistory.WhatisgoodaboutusafterweputGodincharge?Whatisbad?Arewegreedyorgenerous?Cruelorkind?Brutalorgentle?Possessiveortolerant?Dishonestortrustworthy?Manipulativeorpermissive?Resentfulorforgiving?Insecureorconfident?Guiltyorinnocent?Narrow-mindedoraccepting?Domineeringormodest?Arrogantorhumble?Jealousortrusting?Fearfulorcourageous?Iffearispresentitisnotafearlessinventory.RepeatStepThree.LetGodstockourinventory.WithHiminchargethereisnothingtofear.

Areweviolentorpeaceful?Distressedorserene?Angryoratease?Hatefulorloving?Self-pityingorgrateful?Gloomyorcheerful?Pessimisticoroptimistic?Recklessorcareful?Disdainingorcaring?Trouble-makingorconsiderate?Sneakyorstraightforward?Selfishorgenerous?Closemindedorwillingtolearn?Stubbornorreadytochange?Dowesmoke,overeat,drinktoomuchcoffee,trytocontrolourselvesorothers,overwork,overspend,orclingtootheralternateaddictions?

Putitalldown.Searchforeverysymptomofillness.Itisdiagnosis,nottherapy.Thatcomeslater.Afterwejotdowneverysymptomofhowillwearetoday,wemoveon.

5.WeadmittedtoGod,toourselvesandtoanotherhumanbeingtheexactnatureofourwrongs.WhatisbehindthedetectivebehaviornotedinStepFour?Nowweanalyzethosesymptoms.Whydowelie?Whydowesteal?Whyarewejealous?IsitbecausewedonotbelieveGodwillprotectusunless

wemanagetoconcealthetruth?Arewe

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afraidGodwillnotprovideenoughunlesswemanagetosteal?DowebelieveGodwillletsomeoneelsehavewhatbelongstousunlesswemanagetohangontoit?WethinkweturnedourlivesovertoGod.DoesourbehaviorindicatewestilltrytomanageouraffairsbetterthanGodcan?DoestheexactnatureofourproblemsinvolveourlackoftrustinGod?

AreweangryatwhatsomeonedoesoratGodforlettingithappen?AreweagitatedbecausewedonotbelieveGodwillsolveourproblems?IsgraspingcontrolawayfromGodtheexactnaturebehindourwrongbehavior?

Welookbehindeverydefect.WeadmitdirectlytoGodwhatwefind.Weadmitittoourselvesandanotherperson.Thatindividualcanbeafriend,stranger,sponsor,therapist,clergyman,orspouse.WetellGodwedonottrustHimenough.Wetellourselveswetrustourselvestoomuch.Weadmitthisexactnatureofourwrongstoanotherhumanbeing.Wedonotseekadviceaboutthisbehavior.Wesimplyadmittothesethreeentitieswhatisreallywrong.Havingdeeplydiagnosedandacknowledgedthenatureofourdisease,wemoveon.

6.WewereentirelyreadytohaveGodremoveallthesedefectsofcharacter.InthetwopreviousStepswelistedexactlywhatwebelieveareourdefects.EitherwearereadytohavethemremovedbyGod,orwearenot.Ifwestillwanttoworkonourdefects,wearenotreadyforStepSix.Howdowegetready?BygoingbackoverStepsOnethroughFiveuntilweareready.Ifwethinkwecanmanagetoremoveevenonedefectonourown,weneedtogobacktoStepThreeandadmitwearepowerlesstodoso.IfwedonotbelieveGodcanremovethem,weneedtogobacktoStepTwountilwethinkHemight.WehavenotrecentlytakenStepThreeifwearenotreadytohaveHimdowhatHewantswithourdefects.Ifwearenotyetconvincednothinglessthan

removalofthesedefectswillmakeushappy,webetterstaywithStepsFourandFiveuntilitbecomesobvious.IfwewanttohangontoonedefectivetraitwebettergooverStepsOnethroughFiveuntilallresistancevanishes.

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BeingentirelyreadytohaveGodremoveallthesedefectswithoutourhelpisastateofgrace.ItcomesonlywhenweacquiresufficienthumilitytostepoutofthewayandletHimdothework.WhenwearefullypreparedtohaveourentirepersonalitychangedasonlyGodcanchangeit,wemoveon.

7.WehumblyaskedHimtoremoveourshortcomings.WeconsciouslycontactthePowergreaterthanourselves.WedonotaskGodtohelpusremoveourownshortcomings.Thisisnotaself-improvementprogram.ItisaprogramwhereweletGodimproveus.Wedonotspecifywhatdefectswewantremoved.Welistedallwecould.NowweallowourHigherPowertotakeawayorleavewhatHewishes.Sometraitswelistedasassetswillberemovedbecausetheyarereallydefects.Somecharacteristicswethoughtweredefectswillremainbecausetheyarestrengthsinsteadofweaknesses.WeletGoddetermineourgoodandbadpoints.WedonotdisputehowHechangesus.WemustbehumbleenoughtoletHimrecreateus.Weacceptwhatwebecome.

ThetruetestofhumilityiswhetherweletGoddowhatweaskHimtoornot.WithnostringsattachedweaskourHigherPowertoremoveourshortcomings.Wethenleavethemaloneandmoveon.

8.Wemadealistofallpersonswehadharmedandbecamewillingtomakeamendstothemall.UnlikeourStepFourinventoryofwhatisinstocknow,StepEightisareviewofourpersonalhistories.Wesearchourpast.Welistallformeractsthathurtotherpeople.Weincludewhenourfailuretoacthurtothers.Wedonotputourselvesattheheadofthelist.Thismaybethefirsttimewehaveeverplacedwelfareofothersaheadofourown.Wewritedowneveryinstancewecanrememberwhenwedeliberatelyorunintentionallyinjuredsomeoneelse.Welistallharmdonetootherswhethertheydeserveditornot.

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Wekeeplistingthedirtwedidtoothersuntilweregretitandwanttomakeituptothem.Whenwearewillingtomaketotalrestitutionandcorrectwhateverdamagewehavedone,wemoveon.

9.Wemadedirectamendstosuchpeoplewhereverpossible,exceptwhentodosowouldinjurethemorothers.Adirectamendismorethananapology.Weconfrontthoseweharmedandmakerestitutionforthedamagewedid.Wereplacewhatwestole.Werepaywhatweowe.Wetakeblameformisdeedsweallowedotherstobeblamedfor.Wesettleunpaidbills.Wecompensatewithlove,deeds,ormoneytothosewemistreated.Weexpectneithergratitudenorforgivenessinreturn.Wetakewhateveractionnecessarytosetthingsstraight.Wespendwhatevermoneyittakestomakethingsright.Wherewewereguiltyofabuse,wenowlavishlove.

Iftryingtocorrectpastdamagewillcausefurtherdamagetoanyoneotherthanourselvesweletthematterdrop.Wecannothealthosewehurtbyreopeningoldwoundsorinflictingnewones.Wemakenorestitutionwhichwillresultinpunishmentforaccomplices.Wemakenoconfessionthatrevealsanotherperson'sguilt.Wedonotincludeourselvesamongtheotherswemustnotharm.

Whenwehavecorrectedeverypossiblerottenthingthatharmedsomeoneelse,wemoveon.

10.Wecontinuedtotakepersonalinventoryandwhenwewerewrongpromptlyadmittedit.TheinventorywetookinStepFourandadmittingtheexactnatureofourwrongsinStepFiveweresoimportantthatwearenowgoingtocontinuetolookatourstrengthsandweaknesses.Wewilldothisonedayatatimefortherestofourlives.Thewordcontinuedmeanstwothings:wearenevergoingtobefinishedtakinginventoriesandwewillneverbethroughfindingwrongsforGodtoremove.

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HavinglearnedwhattodoinourwrittenStepFourinventoriesandoursharedStepFiveanalysisoftheexactnatureofourwrongs,wenowmakedailyuseofthesetechniquesofself-diagnosis.

Itwillnotalwaysbeconvenienttowritedownourcontinuinginventories.Wemayneedtotakethemfasterthanthattohandlelife'sdailyproblems.Inanyemergencywecanaskourselves,whyamIangry?WhydoIworry?WhyamIenvious?Wecananswer,IamangrybecauseIdon'tlikethewayGodisrunningmylife.IworrybecauseIdon'texpectGodtohandlethingscorrectly.IenvysomeoneelsebecauseIdon'ttrustGodtogivemewhatIneed.Theanswerisalwaysthesame:Idon'ttrustGod.IamagitatedbecauseIgrabbedcontrolbackfrommyHigherPower.IthinkIcanhandlethingsbettermyself.ThenallwehavetodoisrenegotiatetheStepThreecontractwehavebroken.PutGodbackincharge.WemayreturntoStepSevenandaskHimtoremovethisshortcomingoffiringGodtotakechargeourselves.

WestartadailyhabitofrecognizingandadmittingwhenweusurpGod'sjobofrunningourlives.Thenwemoveon.

11.WesoughtthroughprayerandmeditationtoimproveourconsciouscontactwithGodasweunderstoodHim,prayingonlyforknowledgeofHiswillforusandthepowertocarrythatout.InthreepreviousStepswehaveestablishedconsciouscontactwithourHigherPower.InStepThreeweturnedourwillandourlivesovertoHim.Wecouldnotdothatwithoutmakingcontact.InStepFiveweadmittedtoGodwhatwehadlearnedwasthenatureofourwrongs.WehadtocontactHimtodothat.StepSevenhadusaskHimtoremoveourshortcomings.Whenweaskedwemadecontact.NowweimprovetheconsciouscontactwealreadyhavewithGod.

WepetitionGod.Thatisprayer.WelistentoGod.Thatismeditation.Thepurposeofmeditationistohelpourselvesemptyourmindsof

personalconcernssotheHigherPower

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mayenter.Therearemanytechniquestodothis.Practiceoneofthem.

StepEleventeachesanewwaytopray.InouroldwayofprayingweaskGodtofillspecificneeds.ThisStepsuggestswenolongerdothat.ItproposesprayingonlyforknowledgeofHiswillforusandthepowertocarrythatout.

PrayingthatonlyGod'sconcernsenterourbrainsblocksourpersonalwishes.AskingonlyforknowledgeofHiswillforusandthepowertocarrythatoutemptiesourbrainssotheHigherPowermayenter.Wedonotalwayshavetousesomeotherformofmeditation.PrayingonlyforGod'swillandthepowertocarryitoutismeditation.

WespirituallyawakeninthisStepwhenwerealizeweneveragainhavetospelloutwhatwewantGodtodo.WeawakenspirituallysecureintheknowledgethatweneedneverprayformorethanknowledgeofHiswillforusandthepowertocarrythatout.Committedtoprayingonlythatwayfortherestofourlives,wemoveon.

12.HavinghadaspiritualawakeningasaresultoftheseSteps,wetriedtocarrythismessagetoaddicts,andtopracticetheseprinciplesinallouraffairs.StepTwelveconfirmswehadaspiritualawakeningonlybecausewetookallelevenpreviousSteps.NowwecarrythisTwelveStepmessagetootheraddicts.TodosowecontinuetoattendN.A.meetings.WeapplyTwelveStepprinciplestoeveryaspectofliving.BymeansoftheTwelveStepsweletGodmanageusineverythingwedoratherthantryingtocontrolthingsourselves.

NarcoticsAnonymousoffersonlyonepathtorecovery.WerecoveronlyifwepracticetheTwelveSteps.Wedonotrecoverunlesswetakeandcontinuetoworkthem.ThosewhofollowtheStepsrecover;thosewhodonotfollowtheStepscontinuetosuffer.

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Ourdiseaseofaddictionremainsincurableevenafterwerecover.Allweneedtodotodestroyourrecoveryisusedrugsagain.OnlytheTwelveStepswillkeepouraddictioninremission.Oncerecovered,weneedneveragainsufferanysymptomofit.AllweneedtodotostaywelliscontinuetogotoN.A.meetingsandpracticetheTwelveSteps.

Onlythosewhoarestillsickbelieverecoverymeanstheycansafelyuseagain.Thisisnotso.Recoverymeanswenolongerneeddrugs,norhaveanydesiretousethem.Ourcompulsionislifted.

Wewillalsorecoverifwededicateourlives,justfortoday,toworkingtheTwelveStepsofNarcoticsAnonymous.Learnhow.ReadN.A.literature.Getasponsor.Gotolotsofmeetings.Donotusedrugsinbetweenmeetings.

BeoneofmanythousandsofhappyaddictswhohaverecoveredthroughNarcoticsAnonymous.TheBeginning