Southwest Parenting Magazine Oct 2009 Issue

FREE QUARTERLYOCT - NOV - DEC 2009

VOLUME 1, ISSUE 3

Southwest Parenting Magazine 404-629-0446 www.swparenting.com Oct–Nov–Dec (Quarterly) 2

publisher / editor in chief Benjamin Davie

Managing editor Linda Davie

Marketing / sales director Malcolm Davie

art director Justin Davie

Articles by:Tanya Shockley

Pauline Mansfield

Megan Finley

Jacki Gass

S. Keith Turner (Sankore)

Devin Robinson

Sorjourner Marable Grimmett

Disclaimer The purpose of this magazine is to provide articles and tips

about numerous topics relating to childcare and parenting, as well as sell space for the display of commercial advertising. The publishers/editors do not assume responsibility for the

opinions of the authors of articles, nor recommend or endorse or imply recommendation or endorsement for any product or

service advertised herein.

submittals Readers are invited to submit articles, news, and informa-

tion that they would like to share with the community. Include photos when applicable. Submitted articles for publication are not paid. The publishers/editors reserve the right to edit any submittal for style or length, and to determine, at their

sole discretion, when, or whether, any submittal is published. Comments are welcomed.

Distribution / reaDership

Print Distribution: 500 Quarterly Print Magazines Digital Magazine Email Distribution: 2,500 Quarterly

Total Estimated Readership: Approximately 7,500 people.Serving communities in South Metro Atlanta.

Print magazine distributed through 20 high traffic local storefront locations and medical offices.

Published by New Hope Publishing, LLCOffICE 404-629-0446 [email protected]

A NHP PubLICATION

http://twitter.com/SWParenting

3Southwest Parenting Magazine 404-629-0446 www.swparenting.com Oct–Nov–Dec (Quarterly)

4 ParentsRaisingSuperstars!By Tonya Shockley When parents take on the awesome task of allowing their children to participate in organized sports, they are opening up a new world of discipline, sharing and teamwork.

7 ParentingSuperstars:“LettingGodmakeallthemoves”By Pauline Mansfield Parents are usually not pre-qualified, so when that job finally comes, you need to know the ground rules.

8 Discipline101:ListeningBy Megan Finley Listening exhibits understanding and tolerance. It will also strengthen your relationship with your child.

9 HowtoEnhanceYourChild’sEducation:ForLong-termSuccessBy Jacki Gass Using these tips will instill a love of learning in your child and give them a foundation for a life-time of success.

10 AreYouanEffectiveParent? The following six questions will give you a snapshot of your parenting tendencies.

12 Parenthood+Children’sPotential=PowerBy S. Keith Turner (Sankore) Be there for your children as a guide as well as a protector.

13 GrainofThought:BeAboutSomething!By Devin Robinson Get your “Being” about something from head to toe by addressing these functionalities.

14 10ThingsyouShouldNEVERsaytoaPregnantWomanBy Sorjourner Marable Grimmett Be there for your children as a guide as well as a protector.

15 Advertiser’sDirectory

FeatureS

Table of ContentsOctOber - NOveMber - DeceMber 2009 vOluMe 1, iSSue 3

Ms. Tanya Shockley explains 5 Parenting Principles she used to help her children excel.

pg. 4

“DJ” Shockley (ATlAnTA FAlconS)

Southwest Parenting Magazine 404-629-0446 www.swparenting.com Oct–Nov–Dec (Quarterly) �

Family life

I speak from experience. My son, D. J. Shockley, is a quarterback on the practice squad of the Atlanta Falcons. Our family made the commitment in his young life to support his talent and skills by providing support and family involvement. DJ’s dad, Don, Sr. was also his high school coach. He kept DJ grounded because DJ was considered a “high profile” athlete by the time he was a sophomore in high school. He was a three-sport athlete from the time he played little league through his high school years. It was not until he entered the University of Georgia (UGA), did he finally concentrate on one sport. Football became a year round sport. Through DJ’s five years at UGA, my family packed the car every week-end to attend UGA football games. We traveled all over the south attend-ing his games, whether he played or not. We encouraged him when he was challenged and rejoiced with him when things were exceptionally well. It all paid off when he was drafted by the Atlanta Falcons in 2006. Not only am I proud of DJ and his accomplishments, I am also proud of my other three children! DJ tends to get most of the attention because he is in the public eye. He is my oldest, but there is also Xavier and my twins, Nicholas and Nicole. At one point, all the children were playing sports. Imagine being at Old National Ball Park all day on Saturdays! I used to pack a cooler of hot dogs, chips and sodas to keep from spending all my money at the park! Xavier and Nicholas have special needs because of a genetic disorder called Fragile X. As adults, Xavier and Nicholas play baseball and bowl with the Clayton County Challengers. The Challengers is a league that allows children with special needs to participate in sports. My daughter, Nicole is currently an honor student at UGA studying Criminal Justice. Her goal is to be a Supreme Court Judge! We are still a

By: Tanya Shockley

hen parents take on the awesome task of allowing their children to participate in

organized sports they are opening up a new world of discipline, sharing and teamwork.

Wbusy family! We used five basic principles to help our children excel in sports and in life. 1. Church – as a Catholic family we required our children to work in the church as part of their growth and commitment to serve. It was important that our children took time to praise God. We believe in the power of prayer, not just on Sundays, but throughout their day.2. Academics – our philosophy was school comes first, not sports. No grades, no play. We believed if you excelled in school, there would still be time for friends and fun. The goal was to always do your best and aim high.3. Family Time – as the mother of four children, family time was man-datory around the house. We always owned a van so we could travel together. Our children were taught to take care of each other. No one was more important than their siblings.4. Volunteer Services – we always required our children to give back to the community by volunteering. I lead by example. I am an active member of East Point/College Park Alumnae Chapter of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Incorporated and the Knights of Peter Claver Ladies Auxiliary. Both organizations pride themselves on Christian values and service to the community. D.J. vol-unteered as a buddy for the Clayton County Challengers until he left to attend college. DJ currently sponsors children with Fragile X with tickets to the Falcons games. This past year, he sponsored over 300 children in his first annual football camp. Xavier,

Nicholas and Nicole all do volunteer work through our Church, Our Lady of Lourdes. Nicole also volunteers with several organizations at school.5. Ethics and Honesty – these are two of the most important quali-ties that parents can give to build confidence and development in their children. In other words, “Do the Right Thing” and accept responsibil-ity for your actions. In sports and in life, ethics and honesty builds positive character. We believe that once you agree to share your child/children with others through sports, academics, or what-ever their special talent may be, you must help develop them to reach their goals. Every child has the potential to succeed. It is our responsibility as parents to provide the resources and nurturing to help them succeed. Tanya Shockley is the mother or D.J. Shockley and Advisory Member of REAL Parents, Inc. www.realparents.net Office:404-327-5118

�Southwest Parenting Magazine 404-629-0446 www.swparenting.com Oct–Nov–Dec (Quarterly)

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Family life

arenting is one of the few jobs I know that exists where there

is no pre-established training pro-gram. Parents are not pre-certified so they know that when that job finally comes they at least know the ground rules. Many parents stumble through parenting not knowing where to start or what really the rules of good parenting are. My children’s father and I were fortunate to have had wonderful role models from whom we learned our parenting guidelines. Both of our parents were hard working, loving people who valued family, commu-nity and education. When my kids were very young, their father and I instilled in them a sense of confidence and inner strength. We both wanted to make sure they felt inferior to no one and that they knew they had to work hard to achieve everything in this life. On our refrigerator were the fol-lowing words that Michael and Jen saw everyday: “Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing in the world is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is a proverb. Education will not; the world is full

of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipo-tent.”~ Calvin Coolidge Just beside that quote was a list of daily chores for Monday-Friday. We also planted a sense of responsibility in both of them early in their lives. We did not dole out chores based on gender – they were shared responsi-bilities inside and outside the house. My parents felt that children needed to be children and that they should truly experience the joys of childhood. As Mike and Jen were growing up it was so important to me that they experienced fully each part of their childhood. – all of us catching lightening bugs in the sum-mer time and building cardboard houses- complete with curtains and pictures painted on the walls. Jen and I building her doll house piece by piece and Mike rolling downhill in his first soapbox derby -- each piece built with own hands. The sum total of their life experi-ences has made both of my children responsible, happy and well adjusted adults. Because we also planted seeds of humility, they are superstars without even knowing it. Michael

is teaching at Sel’chek University in Turkey and Jen has her own Market-ing company working as Publicist and Promoter for artists, writers and other creative minds. Both love what they do and have made their parents so very proud.

Pauline Mansfield is Author of – The Chess Master – Living Life on a Chessboard & Letting God Make All the Moves (A book inspired by author’s son who has been a Chess Instructor for several years) You can purchase her book online at www.Xlibris.com/PaulineWMansfield.html

“Letting God Make All the Moves”

By: Pauline Mansfield

P



Family life

What is funny about this little problem is that most of the time when we think our children are not listening or have not heard what we just said, they actually have! They have just chosen not to obey. Obeying is different than listening! We need to remember these little people have the glorious gift of their own will!For my communications degree I had to complete an upper level class entitled Listening. At first I thought to myself, what am I go-ing to really get out of this? The more I read the more I understood unfortunately in our society, we do not teach our children listening skills. Contrary to belief, lis-tening is a skill that must

be modeled and taught. As parents, our children learn most of their listening skills by what is modeled to them by their parents.As parents and educators of our children it is just as important for us to model good listening to our children as it is for them to hear our message. Up to 85% of all elementary school conflicts can be attributed to miscommu-

“As a stay at home mom of 3, almost 4 children I am guilty of speaking the phrase, “My kids just don’t listen! They have selective listening!” The most com-mon question is, “How do I get my child to listen?”LISTENING

Megan Finley [email protected]

101 nication, and poor listening skills are often at fault. Students who feel that their teach-ers and administrators do not listen to them frequently experience a loss in morale and motivation. Pupils who are easily distracted and listen less effectively suffer academically. It is significant that poor comprehensive listening skills are a major contribut-ing factor among college students who fail. Deficient listening skills have been found to be even more influential than reading proficiency and intelligence in affecting academic success. An interesting fact I learned in this class is that listening is the most fre-quently used skill in communication followed by talking, reading, then writing. In childhood development, we first learn to listen, then talk, read, and write. However as parents and educators of our children, we teach writing the most, followed by writing, reading, and then listening. Doesn’t make much sense, does it? The key to getting our children to listen to us, is to actively listen to them. This means you are devoting your entire attention to them, keep-ing their eye contact, and making the appropriate body language. Listening is how you get behind the eyes of your child and figure out what is on their mind. By listening to your child you are gathering infor-mation on all their needs. Listening will strengthen your relationship with your child. It will establish a mutual trust and respect.Listening exhibits understanding and tolerance. One of the biggest reasons for divorce in this country is, “My spouse never listens.” By being effective listeners ourselves we are teaching our children how to estab-lish and maintain healthy, respectful relationships.


PARenT InVolVeMenT in school is one of the strongest indicators of academic achievement. Your active involvement will help your child suc-ceed and help you become a partner in their educa-tional journey.

ReADInG with your child daily encourages curiosity and imagination and promotes language, literacy and social-emotional development.

TAlk & lISTen Studies have shown that quality family time is critical to both academic achievement and lifetime success—as children are more eager to learn when they feel supported and encouraged. PRAISe PRoGReSS—noT PeRFecTIon Many parents reprimand their child for not achiev-ing flawless schoolwork. Be sure to applaud small accomplishments to enhance your child’s excite-ment about improving.Using these tips will instill a love of learning in your child and give them the foundation for a life-time of success.

About the Author: Jacki Gass—20-year veteran of early childhood education industry and President of Sunbrook Academy Franchise—spe-cializes in educating Atlanta’s youth to teach children the way young children learn best. [email protected] http://www.sunbrookacademy.com

how To enhance your child’s education

And Promote Long-Term Educational Success

Column By: Jacki Gass

Southwest Parenting Magazine 404-629-0446 www.swparenting.com Oct–Nov–Dec (Quarterly) 10

are yOu aN eFFective PareNt?tips, advice & Support

1. Can your child predict with 100% accuracy what will happen as a result of their misbehavior? 2. In your arsenal of parenting tools do you have light, medium and heavy consequences? 3. Do you spend time each day with your children engaging in meaning-ful activity or conversation? 4. Do you take time to talk through misunderstandings and misbehav-iors when you are calm and level headed? 5. Are you focused on helping your children become adults who can face the world in a competent and remarkable ways? 6. Are you being a living the ex-ample that you want your children to meet and exceed in their future life?The following discusses how effec-tive parents handle issues.Question I: Discuss the rules with their children and make sure that they understand the expectations. They also make sure that conse-quences are understood and follow through with. Question 2 : Keep a variety of tools at hand. They recognize that chil-dren make mistakes and that this is different from willful deliberate disobedience. They make certain that consequences are swift, loving, kind and sympathetic to the plight of the child. Question 3: Make time each day to make meaningful connections with their children. It becomes a prior-ity to be a part of their children’s everyday world. It is very important

for them to have loving and nurtur-ing activities and conversations with their children .Question 4: Take the opportu-nity to use times of misbehavior and mistakes as teaching tools. They discuss the expectation and help kids to step back and look at their motives and hidden reasons for their misbehavior. They keep responsibility for the actions with their children and help children come up with strategies to prevent future problems. Question 5: Recognize that the true

test of parenting is in the adults their children become. Keeping that in mind children tend to take detours along the path. They stay focused on helping children learn from mistakes and help them to use the new learning. Question 6: Recognize that they are the example their children will base their lives upon. They also know that behavior speaks louder than words. They live out each day the person they want their children to be in the future; recognizing that their children will often exceed them.

the following six questions will give you a snapshot of your parenting tendencies.


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tips, advice & Support

Always tell the truth to your children---even if it hurts. Tell your children of our glorious history, and our not so glorious history. Also, tell your children their immediate family history. This inspires the children, and it gives the children better tools to fight adversity when they run into it. While the children are very young---encourage them to be all they can be in life. Always read to the children, and get them use to reading, and falling in love with learning early as possible. Buy your children things that will enhance the talents/hobbies they might have. You, dear parents are the children’s first teach-ers and inspiration in life. Your roles are very important as parents. Take the development of your children’s minds as the most important thing on the planet. Never depend on someone else to fully develop your children’s minds. Teach your children to believe in themselves, and never give up in life. Tell them, “we all get defeated in life sometimes. But, what we do about being defeated---is the most important” Teach your children to be fighters in life for what they believe in and want to achieve in life. Start early in life making your children mentally tough. Never let them settle for being quitters in life. Because if they develop bad habits early---they will carry them on into adulthood. Long before your children set foot in a classroom, they should be mental giants. The world is big. Since the world is so big dear parents, you have a big classroom. Teach your children to learn from every source they can. Knowledge is all around them. Teach them to learn from big things and small things. There is a lesson in everything if we are observant enough. Take your children to farms, architecture sites, engineering sites, plays, electronic stores, fashion stores, zoos, craft stores, lectures by people who accomplished greatness in various fields, etc. In other words, encourage the children to be knowledge seekers. Teach your children to be great researchers, investigate everything, and not take anything for face value or surface level knowledge. There are many liars, crooks, and propagandist in the world. So teach the children how to pull layer after layer off garbage, lies, propaganda, etc until they reach the truth. Encourage your children to be inventors and producers, and manufactures in life. That way---they do not have to pay extra high prices for things other people come up with, invent, manufacture or produce because our children will be able to make what they need in life. Teach your children the value of being great salesmen and saleswomen of things they invent, produce or manufacture, and never be ashamed of selling their own things. Teach them to make selling their wares an art form. If they can not sale what they make and be proud of it---who will?

Parenthood + Childrens Potential = Power By: S. Keith Turner (Sankore)

Southwest Parenting Magazine 404-629-0446 www.swparenting.com JULY–aug–Sep (Quarterly) 12

Be there for your children, Dear Black Parents. I am not talking about being there buying your children a video game, name brand jeans, and other material stuff. I am talking about being there for your children as a guide and protector.

Parenthood + Childrens Potential = Power By: S. Keith Turner (Sankore)



Head - Think about something! At all times put energy in progressive thoughts. These progressive thoughts turn into progressive actions. Eyes - Look at something! Use your eyes as the fuel to fill your head with something then your head will do its part. Read instrumental items, watch stimulating programs on television and attend insightful events. Mouth - Say something! Encourage yourself and others. What we confess with our mouths is what our actions will follow. Rather than creating discouragement, excuses and reasons why it cannot be done, do the opposite. Throat - Swallow something! Swallow fear, pride, and greed then do that thing you have been thinking about doing for quite some time. Need to bury the hatchet with someone? Need to extend an apology? Need to move on? Swallow what’s stopping you! Heart - Love something! Once you become passionate about something productive, production will commence. Get in touch with YOUR purpose. Have convictions. Stand strong for something positive and stop at nothing before you begin to make changes within yourself and others. Back - Carry Something! Pain, hurt, stress, pessimistic attitude, grudge, envy, jealous and hate are all nothing. Cast them away. Trust me, when you do this and focus on within

“When we “be”, we put whatever we be in

our being! Get your being about something

from head to toe by addressing these

functionalities. By doing this, your being will

allow you to Be about something!”

By: Devin Robinson

Grain of Thought: Be aBouT someThinG!

you rather than without you, your acumen and persona will drastically increase. Carry truth, wisdom, optimism, integrity and forward desire. Arms - Do something! Take the previous four and act upon them. Perform actions that will make you productive. Set budgets, stick to them, set goals, achieve them, step out to fresh information, embrace them! Change your life and accomplish goals. Legs - Go somewhere! Don’t stand still. Use your legs to take you where your arms are able to perform. Go somewhere and help someone; maybe an elderly ancestor or someone else immobile. Go to the library, go to a school or simply go to work for a change. Quite often we run into persons that are about nothing. They talk and talk what they will do, but that check always bounces. Let’s not be one of those persons. Allow these parts to work in unison and you will be able to see how you can BE about something.

“Always, tell a friend what you have read and where you read it!”Author~ D. Robinson(The 180-Day Theory: Change through Empowerment book)180…Going Against The Grain®www.devinrobinson.com

Southwest Parenting Magazine 404-629-0446 www.swparenting.com Oct–Nov–Dec (Quarterly) 1�

10 Things you should

NEVER Say to a

Pregnant Woman

I knew the next time that I got pregnant; I would have to deal with ignorant comments about my growing belly. During my first pregnancy, absolute strangers who wanted to know all the details about my blossoming baby bump fascinated me. At first, I wel-comed the questions, until they started to become insults. I was so appalled by some of the comments that I decided to keep track of the worst insults that can be directed to a pregnant woman.

By Sojourner Marable Grimmett

Is that a linebacker in your belly?From your husband or sig-nificant other, “Babe, can you cook me something to eat?”Is your due date tomorrow?Lady, are you packing twins?You should hold off on the fries, because your baby doesn’t need anything else to eat.What are you eating now? Geez, you sure do eat a lot.Are you pregnant again? Ev-ery time I turn around you’re knocked up!Your ultrasound looks like an alien.You’ve got a big head. Your delivery is going to hurt!

1.

2.

3.4.5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

You’re about to bust! (When in actuality, you are only 5 months pregnant, with one child in utero).

There are over 80 million mothers in the United States. Instead of say-ing something that may land you in the “hot seat,” try to say something in a kind way. For example, “Con-gratulations, you look really great!” Or try, “You’re glowing and look so good!” Instead of being an annoying baby bumpgawker, please turn your harsh ridicule into positive affirma-tions. This will not only protect your feelings from being hurt, but will also shower joy upon a woman who has to carry a child for 9 months, and most likely deal with other people’s inappropriate comments.

10. About the author:Sojourner Marable Grimmett has a BA in Com-munications from Clark AtlantaUniver-sity and an MA in

Media Studies from Pennsylvania State University. She is a stay-at-work mom and serves as the Assistant Director of Recruitment at a Southeastern university of art and design. She lives in Southwest Atlanta with her husband, Roland and young son, Roland Jay. They are expect-ing their second child in mid-winter. Email her at [email protected]


1�Southwest Parenting Magazine 404-629-0446 www.swparenting.com Oct–Nov–Dec (Quarterly)

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Southwest Parenting Magazine Oct 2009 Issue