Senior Men’s Section Newsletter - July 2015 Issue No 115

SENIOR MOMENTS

Farmer 3rd June '15 Medal

Div 1 Net

1st John Beardall 68

2nd Chris Gale 71

3rd Dave Massey ACB 72

4th Barry Rowe ACB 72

Div 2

1st Norman Short 69

2nd Tony Hall 71

3rd Barry Painter 72

4th Sandie Baille-Strong 74

Split 6’s 10th June '15 Score

Chris Gale

1st Terry Houghton 79pts

Bob Dunkley

Russell Gibson

2nd Glyn Walker 76pts

Sandie Baille-Strong

Lindley 17th June '15 Green somes Prs

1st J.Yeates & K.Gatrall 38pts

2nd J.Brown & H.Loftin ACB 37pts

3rd G.Jones & C.Long ACB 37pts

4th S.B-Strong & R.Albery ACB 37pts

( Full Result Page Three )

AM/AM 24th June '15 Score

Stan Taylor

1st Iain Niven ACB 78pts

Arthur Hansley

Vic Ettie

2nd Jim Yeates ACB 78pts

Keith Norman

Stuart Baggot

3rd Tony Collins ACB 77pts

Dave Massey

Competition Results June 2015 CAPTAIN GEORGES’ GARRULITY’S

The Game of Golf What is my fascination with this game? Is it the outdoors — the green fairways, the blue skies, the lakes and trees, the feel of the breeze across my

face? Is it the friends with whom I play — their companionship, their encouragement, the conversation

between holes, the silence as we wait our turn? Is it the game — the balance between grace and skill and

power, the striving for perfection, the loft of the ball, the precision of the putt? Or is it all of these, and in

these, meditations about all of life — harmony, friendship, balance, and, every once in awhile, the perfect

shot and a glorious Amen.

June although not a scorching month was dry enough to get all our games played. Howev-er, perhaps I should start where I left off last time, with ‘slow play’. I think that most people recognise that this is not particular to any group of players within a club, but at the same time it appears to be endemic to most golf clubs. Furthermore, it is endlessly dis-cussed, mainly because it is a real irritant that can ruin a round of golf for any one of us. So, what to do about it is not easy to resolve and Corhampton Golf Club is no exception. In an attempt to find a solution the Management Committee have asked Mike Jarman to form a representative group of members from each section to ‘have another go’ at sug-gesting ways and means to address this issue. I am representing the Senior Men’s Section on this group and we are meeting on Thursday 2nd July, so I will report back to you in the August issue of Senior Moments. In the meantime, Brian has kindly put together a clip of some, but not all, of the issues that cause ‘slow play’ which he will be sending round with this issue. Please can we continue to keep trying to ensure that we all continue to enjoy our golf by ensuring that ‘speed of play’ is not an issue. Arrangements for the 125 anniversary celebrations continue apace. You will all have seen the information sent out by Bob Ashton with respect to the 125 Club which is being managed by Alan Robson. After Mickey Barber got an encouraging response from his ‘straw poll’ on the idea of us running a meat raffle we have decided to go ahead and run it as part of our contribution to the club members and the 125 funds. The way It will work is as follows:-

1.Raffle tickets to be sold by the Lady’s, (L) Senior Men’s (SM) and Men’s (M) Sections at their Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday comps.

2.Three different colours of raffle tickets (L- pink, SM- blue & M- white) to be used on the basis of a £1 for each ticket or £4 for a strip of 5 tickets.

3.Upon completion of the last draw in any month all named ticket stubs and money to be collected together prior to the draw. 50% of sales will be available for the pur-chase of meat vouchers in two or more, depending upon the ‘take up’ denom-inated (1st & 2nd /…. prizes).

4.Meat vouchers, purchased from Grover’s Butcher, Bishops Waltham & Locksheath Centre, to be put into a sealed envelope to await collection by winner from either the Office or behind the bar. The winner’s names will be posted on the notice board and announced in the ‘Senior Moments’.

5.All monies will be accounted for by Colin Beames who will liaise with the Committee and Office as necessary.

We hope to commence selling the raffle tickets upon week commencing Monday 13th July (Senior Men’s Section – Wednesday 15th) with the first draw being held on Friday 14th August. Our inter-club matches started on Tuesday 9th June with a visit to Hayling Island. Surpris-ingly the wind was from the NE and whilst not too strong it was cold and made the back nine very difficult. The result ? Well do not hold your breath, we lost 5½ - 2½. Still, that was not as bad as our trip to Stoneham on Tuesday 23rd June where we narrowly avoided our first whitewash of the season losing 5½ - ½. To make matters worse, Mike, their sen-iors Captain told us after the game that he had lost their home match to us the last four times in a row!! Mickey Barber took command on the return visit from Alresford to us on Wednesday 10th (I was, by kind invitation, playing the Hayling Island Vet’s Open). He and the team achieved a draw (4 - 4) and a pleasant day was had by all. On Friday 19th June we entertained Rowlands Castle and came in as winners(5-4). Last, but by no means least we had our away game at Royal Winchester Tuesday 30th June. This was rather a warm affair in more ways than one as, unfortunately, we were not good enough losing (5½-2½)

In order that we can put on a good days entertainment for those that we invite to join us in the Senior Men’s 125 anniversary celebrations next year Keith Waldron, Mickey Barber, Colin Beames and myself are getting together to make recommendations to our committee for who to invite, the format of the competition and the hospitality that we will provide upon our day (Wednesday 1st June 2016).

George Angas Senior Men’s Captain 2015

Mickey and I were invited to Alresford to take part in their Seniors 125 anniversary celebrations. It was a good day all round with Mickey coming in with the winning visitors card. Congratulations Mickey.

Found for us by Pete Langrish In my many years, I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm and three or more is a government. John Adams If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed. Mark Twain I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. Winston Churchill

CONFUCIUS MAY NOT HAVE SAID......but would have, if he had thought a bit more! Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient. Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly. Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent. Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion. Man who runs in front of car gets tired... Man who runs behind car gets exhausted.

Found by Mick Kearn On visit to China!! Found for us by David Williamson

The Ambidextrous golfer A group of guys lived and died for their Saturday morning round of golf. One transferred to another city. It wasn't the same without him. A new woman joined their Club. She overheard the guys talking about their golf round. She said, "You know, I used to play on my golf team in college and I was pretty good. Would you mind if I joined you next week?" The three guys looked at each other. Not one of them wanted to say 'yes', but she had them on the spot. Finally, one man said it would be okay, but they would be starting early - at 6:30 a.m. He figured the early tee-time would discourage her. The woman said this may be a problem, and asked if she could be up to 15 minutes late. They rolled their eyes, but said okay. She smiled and said, "Good, I'll be there at 6:30 or 6:45." She showed up at 6:30 sharp, and beat all three of them with an eye-opening 2-under par round. She was fun and a pleasant person, and the guys were impressed. Back at the clubhouse, they congratulated her and invited her back the next week. She smiled, and said, "I'll be there at 6:30 or 6:45." The next week she again showed up at 6:30 sharp. Only this time, she played left-handed. The three guys were incredulous as she still beat them with an even par round, despite playing with her off-hand. They were totally amazed. They couldn't figure her out. She was again very pleasant and didn't seem to be purposely showing them up. They invited her back again, but each man harboured a burning desire to beat her. The third week, the guys had their game faces on. But this time, she was 15 minutes late, which made the guys irritable. This week the lady played right-handed, and narrowly beat all three of them. The men mused that her late arrival was due to petty gamesmanship on her part. However, she was so gracious and so complimentary of their strong play, they couldn't hold a grudge. Back in the clubhouse, all three guys were shaking their heads. This woman was a riddle no one could figure out. They had a cou-ple of beers, and finally, one of the men asked her point blank, "How do you decide if you're going to golf right-handed or left-handed?" The lady blushed, and grinned. "That's easy," she said. "When my Dad taught me to play golf, I learned I was ambidextrous. I like to switch back and forth. When I got married after college, I discovered my husband always sleeps in the nude. From then on, I developed a silly habit. Right before I left in the morning for golf practice, I would pull the covers off him. If his you-know-what was pointing to the right, I golfed right-handed; if it was pointed to the left, I golfed left-handed." The guys on the team thought this was hysterical. Astonished at this bizarre information, one of the guys shot back, "But what if it's pointing straight up?"

She said, "Then, I'm fifteen minutes late."

FOR SALE BY OWNER. Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, Got married, wife knows everything.

American Gun Purchase (Thanks to Richard Albery) When I was ready to pay for my purchases of gun, powder and bullets, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed. When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader. I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future. They need to make their instructions to seniors a little clearer. I still do not think I looked that bad.

On safari with the Mother-in-law (Found by Mick Kearn) A big game hunter went on a safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One morning, while still deep in the jungle, the hunter's wife awakened to find her mother gone. She woke her husband, and they both set off in search of the old lady. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight. The mother-in-law was standing face-to-face with a lion "What are we going to do?" his horrified wife asked. "Nothing," her husband replied, "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it

POETS’ CORNER EDITORS’ NOTES

We wish all Senior Members who are unwell a speedy recovery and return to Corhampton Golf Club. B.T. Email address b.tipler1@ntlworld.com A Senior Men’s Section welcome goes to our New members

Hey diddle, diddle, the cat took a widdle, Over the bedside clock. The little dog laughed to see such fun. But then died of electric shock.

Thanks to Allan Deuchar for this one

Golf or Sex A man is watching a game of golf on TV, but he keeps switching channels to a movie featuring a lusty couple having raucous sex. "I don't know whether to watch the couple or the golf game," he says to his wife. "For Heaven's sake, watch the couple," his wife says. “You already know how to play Golf!”

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .. Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.

Understanding Engineers Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway."

A Golfer's Tale I was out playing golf just for fun With Father O’Toole in the sun My club from hand burst Hit priest so he cursed I had hit my first holy in one

A Day on the Golf Course He excitedly grabbed his bag of clubs, He drove to the course that day. He had no qualms about not going to work He merely wanted to play. He briskly walked to tee number one, He smartly teed the ball. He swung his driver with gusto immense He never saw it off the tee fall. After time he realized to his dismay The ball lay right by the tee. He never did completely understand Why the ball did not speedily flee. After quickly replacing the misplaced ball He gave it a hearty blow. He watched it slice off into the rough Where he never intended it to go. This first hole ended with strokes very high And it was only the first. It made him soon begin to think He probably should have better rehearsed. In actuality he should have at work stayed And completed those unfinished tasks. He probably will this message convey In case anyone ever asks.

Mike’s lesson brought changes in view His putting was given review. He replaced his old poke With a new smoother stroke Which cut his whole total by two.

Limerick by Mike Pack

Lindley 17th June '15 Stablfd

Winners Jim Yeates & 38pts

Partner Ken Gatrall

Runnerup Jerry Brown & 37pts

Partner Hugh Loftin

Lindley Cup The Lindley Cup is a Greensomes Stableford

competition with a draw for partners. It is

played on a Wednesday in the middle of June.

The draw for partners and starting times are

made two weeks before the competition.

Frank Lindley was the captain of Corhampton

golf club in 1950, Senior captain in 1972 and

Corhampton Golf Club president from 1970 to

1983. During the 1950’s he was also the secretary

of Corhampton Golf Club.

4. Henry Cooper 5. Jasper Carrot 6. Kevin Keegan

1. Bill Murray 2. John Denver 3. Darren Gough

My Physical During my physical, doctor asked me about my daily activity level, so I described a typical day this way: "Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake, drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush, marched up and down several rocky hills, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand, jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake and took four "leaks" behind big trees." Inspired by the story, the doctor said, "You must be one hell of an outdoors man!" "No," I replied, "I'm just a rubbishy golfer." Thanks to Allan Deuchar

Play as it lies?

In our recent Home match against Bognor one of their team discovered that fewer trees than he thought had been removed and found this one on our 7th hole just before the green. Photograph kindly provided by Chris Richards

After play-ing his shot the ball was left without a mark but his club and the tree were damaged

Who are these six golfers ? One is a boxer, one is an actor, one is a singer, one a comedian ,one is in football and one in cricket. Which is which and who’s who? Answers at foot of page

1 2 3

4 5 6

The Senior Men’s Committee have been asked by the Club to use every possible method to avoid slow play at Corhampton Golf Club. The latest suggestion has been captured by our own Seniors Cartoonist—Denny Carter

"I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league." Mark Viduka

took

Tribute to Norman Taylor 1923-2015 Members of Corhampton Golf Club, particularly his golfing group of friends over many years, were

very sorry to hear of the untimely death of Norman following an unfortunate fall whilst at home.

Norman was a member of our golf club for over 65 years and was a very popular and well respected

member at Corhampton. He also enjoyed playing Snooker, Dominoes and Bridge with his friends and

liked to organise reciprocal golf days out for them at other courses with Chobham Golf Club being

the course in particular he loved to arrange to play at with them.

THERE WERE 35 golf club members along with family and friends at

NormaN’s FuNeral service oN 25th JuNe to support valarie aNd

family and as a tribute to a truly respected, POPULAR And Well liked

friend To many at corhampton Golf Club.

Norman will be greatly missed by all who knew him and our thoughts and best wishes are with Valarie

and their family members.

“ it was a pleasure to have met aNd kNowN you - never forgotten-with us always”

Passed away peacefully at Southampton General Hospital on 15th June

Norman Taylor was Senior Men’s Captain in 1996 and was a member of Corhampton Golf club for over 65 years.

Norman Donated The Norman Taylor Spring Bogey Trophy

F L Bunce Trophy 1974 F L Bunce Trophy 1975 Watney Cup 1980 Watney Mann Trophy 1981 Hanson Trophy 1995 Hanson Trophy 1996 Professional Trophy 1998 Summer Eclectic Div 1 1998 RLNI 1999 Lindley Cup 2000 RLNI 2005

Norman Taylor - Senior’s Captain 1996 Born in Weston, Southampton and served an apprenticeship with John I. Thornycrofts of Woolston during which period he was drafted into the Royal Navy. During the WW2 hostilities he served aboard two Aircraft carriers and was demobbed in 1946 then returning to Thornycrofts for a short period.

After this he formed a business partnership working in the Construction Industry. It was during 1950, having played a few holes with the Captain at the time Frank Lindley and Bill Shiner, it was suggested on the 7th Green that a payment of £5 would suffice for Norman to join the club. He handed this over, they being his proposer and seconder. The course then was amidst the cornfields, and had many gorse bushes. Part of the 2nd hole was a Cricket pitch with a broken-down pavilion and Corhampton Golf Club at that time was a 9 hole course. In 1995 Norman asked Ken Cantle if he would like to take on the Secretarial duties as Derek Gibson had decided he would like to give this position up at that time. Norman said he intend-ed that Ken would be Secretary for a year or two but, in the event, it would be for 19 years!!

Norman’s Corhampton Golf Club Honours

Below is a copy of the very first Seniors Section Newsletter published by Roger Chivers in his Captains’ year December 2004 and which features Norman Taylor at the head of the results list along with many other Senior Men’s Members who are remembered.

TAYLOR NORMAN GEORGE of Bitterne Southampton. Passed away peacefully at Southampton General Hospital on 15th June 2015. Much Loved Husband of Valerie, Father of Jayne and Grandad of Robert. ---------- Funeral Service held at Wessex Vale Crematorium on Thursday 25th June at 4.00 p.m. Donations if desired to British Heart Foundation c/o R C Payne & Son Funeral Directors, 485 Bitterne Road East, Southampton, SO18 5EQ. Tel. 023 8044 9111.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.

I am not there. I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning’s hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry;

I am not there. I did not die. Mary Elizabeth Frye 1932