Seleucus I of the Seleucid Empire Persia Perfect!Greetings!IamSeleucusNicator,thefirstruleroftheSeleucidEmpire,whichatitsheightin281BCEprimarilyincludedIranandMesopotamia,butalsoattimesstretchedWesttoAnatoliaandEasttotheIndusValley!IwasonceatopgeneralunderAlexandertheGreat,andintheyearsafterhediedin323BCE,IstartedoutwithmyforcesfromBabylontosuccessfullyconquerthevastmajorityofthelandsheldbyAlexander,leavingonlyEgypt,Greece,andtheLevanttobedividedamongothercontenders.Aftermydeathin281,mysuccessorscontinuedtheirconquests,andthoughwelostsomelands,wealsogainedterritoryintheLevant.SincetheAchaemenidEmpirewassogreatinsomanyways,wekeptalotofthingsgoingthatworkedwell,suchasthesystemofgovernmentadministration,thetaxes,theroads,andthepostalservice.Butwealsobroughtinalotofgoodideasfromelsewhere,especiallyournativeGreeceandMacedonia,butalsoEgyptandIndia,whichwerepartofourconnectedworldoflandsconqueredbyAlexander.

Ourempireestablishedmanynewcitiesandstimulatedtradewithotherpartsoftheworld,improvingtheeconomyforthepeopleoftheempire.WebroughtinmanyGreekcoloniststocomeliveinourempire,buttheyadaptedtothePersianways.Manyofthemweregiventoppositionsinthegovernmentadministrationasbureaucrats.Weweren’thugefansofZoroastrianismthough.Alexanderburned

alotoftemplesandkilledMagi,

theZoroastrianpriests,andmanyteachingswerelostbecauseofthat.Overtheyears,welostmoreandmoreterritory,mostlytothoseannoyingbarbarianstheParthians,untilby141BCEwehadlostallofIran,andsoonourrealmwaslimitedtoSyria.In83BCE,whatwasleftofourempirewassnatchedupbytheRomanEmpire.Butallinall,IthinkwedidagreatjobrulingPersia.Itwasfunwhileitlasted!

BurningZoroastrianTemples

Hatra,SeleucidCityinMesopotamia

Mithradates I of the Parthian Empire Persia Perfect!We,theParthians,ruledPersiabetterthananyother!EvenduringAchaemenidtimes,we,theParthians,livedinEasternIran,inthelandofKhorasan,andevenMOREthantheAchaemenids,westayedtruetothewaysofournomadicIndo-EuropeanancestorsoftheSteppe,theEurasiangrasslands.Wehadnoneedforacentralizedgovernment.Instead,wewereanomadictribalconfederation,withleaderswhomettodecideonpoliciesforourpeople.Andwehaveaproudtraditionofbeingfiercewarriors,aswealwayshadtofightoffourenemies,thenomadicpeoplesfromfarthereast.

Butwedidnotrelyonlyonnomadicways.Weweresmartenoughtotakeideasfromagriculturistsaswell.Webegantosettlesomewhat,andhadthegeniusideatogrowalfafatofeedourhorses.Whileothernomadshadtorelyonwhatevergrasstheycouldfindfortheirweaklittlehorses,oursgrewbiggerandstronger,andcouldcarryheavilyarmoredsoldiersthateasilydefeatedourlightlyarmedenemies.Nonecouldmatchthepowerofourcavalry.NoteventheSeleucids!WeconqueredPersiafromthoseGreekfoolsoverthecourseofthe3rdcenturyBCE!NomoreillegitimaterulebyforeignersfromtheWest!Itwaswewhorightlyrestored

thePersiantraditionofrule.WeevenpromotedZoroastrianismabittohelpusrallysupportagainsttheSeleucids.

ButtheParthianEmpirereachedtheheightofitsgreatnesswhenI,Mithradates,cametothethronein171BCE.By155BCEIcontrollednotonlyIranbutalsoMespotamia!Itwastherethatwebuiltanewcapitalcity,Ctesiphon,alongtheriverTigris.IruledintheAchaemenidstyle,usingAchaemenidtechniquesofadministrationandtaxationandgoverningthroughSatraps.However,weParthiansneverforgotournomadicroots!Weneverlikedtheoverlycentralizedstyleofourpredecessors,sowegavethesatrappositionstoourtribalclanleaders,becausewestaytruetoourheritage.Sure,thatmoredecentralizedstyleledthoseclanleadersatrapstotrytogainindependentpowerthemselves,andmaybewehadarebellionhereandthere,butdon’tworry,wetookcareofit.Wellatleastforalittlewhile.WealsodidlotsofgoodtradingwithourneighborsalongtheSilkRoad,exchanginggoodsandideasalongtheway!DuringtheFirstandSecondCenturiesCE,wehadtodealwiththeannoyingRomanEmpiretryingtofightusforMesopotamia!Souncool!TheyactuallycapturedCtesiphonthreetimes,butdon’tworry,wegotitback.Theonlythingis,wegotkindofdistractedfightingtheRomansandwoundupcollapsingduringtheearlyThirdCenturyCEduetointernalrebellionfromthenativePersians.Buthey,wehadaprettygoodrun,right?

Shapur I of the Sasanian Empire Persia Perfect!TheONLYempirethatcanclaimtotrulybethecontinuationoftheAchaemenidsistheSasanianEmpire!That’sus,bytheway.What?Neverheardofus?Sometimesit’sspelledSassanian?OrmaybeSasanid?Hah!Yesofcourseyou’veheardofus!WetoppledthoseParthianpretendersin224CEandruledallthewayuntil651CE!NowTHAT’Sareign!AndwearemoretrulyPersianthananyoftheseotherfakeempires.Afterall,weSasaniansareactuallyethnicPersians!Like,fromPersia.No,notIraningeneral.I’mtalkingtheoriginalregionofPersia,akaPars,intheSouthwestofIran.Ah,good,youknowyourgeography!Notonlythatbutwedidmorethananyothertocopy…Imean,honor…thestyleandsymbolismofAchaemenidrule.OurrulerswereevendescendedfromAchaemenidrulers.Just…don’taskforanydocumentationofthat,ok?AndourrulerswerecalledShahanshah,KingofKings,justliketheAchaemenidsdid!WeruledfromCtesiphonasourcapital,bringingbackthefullycentralizedbureaucraticadministrativesystem,notlikethosebarbaricParthians,and

werefurbishedmanycitiesacrossourlands.OurmerchantshelpedtorevivetheeconomybytradingEastandWest,andtheyintroducedourpeopletonewcropslikerice,sugarcane,eggplant,andcotton!WhenitcomestoZoroastrianism,wehelpeditgrowandthrivemorethananyotherrulers!WegavelotsofsupporttotheMagi,andtheAvesta,theholybookofZoroastrianism,wasputtogetherduringourrule.ManypeoplecametothetemplestopraytoAhuraMazda!

Weevenpersecutedotherfaithsthatmighttrytocompete,suchasChristianityandManichaeism.I,Shapur,metwiththePersianProphetMani,thefounderofthereligionofManichaeism,andtoleratedhimandhisfollowers,asitwasstillsmall.However,ashisfaithgrew,lateremperorsofmylinetookaction.Maniwasimprisoned,wherehedied,andemperorsclampeddownhardonManichaeismandothercompetingreligioustraditionsandtheirfollowers.WhenI,Shapur,reignedovertheSasanianEmpirefrom239to272CE,wewerebetterthanever!WeweremuchsmarteratdealingwiththeRomans.WecreatedbufferstatesbetweenourselvesandtheRomans,meaningweleftittothose

Ctesiphon,CapitalCityofbothParthianandSasanianEmpires

PersianProphetMani

statesinbetweentobethefirstdefensesoitwaslesstroubleforus.WeevencapturedsomeRomanprisonersofwarandputthemtoworkusingtheirRomanengineeringskillstobuildusroadsanddams!Now,wedidn’tconquersomuchnewland,butthat’ssonotourfault!It’sjustthattheRomans(laterknownastheByzantines)ruledtotheWest,andatthesametimetheKushansruledtoEastinSouthAsia,sotherewasn’treallyanywhereforustogo.Theywerebothprettypowerful,youknow?Andhey,theydidn’tconqueruseither,sothat’ssomething,right?What’sthat?Whoconqueredus?Well…itwasactuallytheArabs.Iknowwhatyou’rethinking,they’rejustabunchofunorganizedguysfromthedesert,howdidtheyconquerthegreatSasanianEmpire?!Well,Imean,wewerereallywornoutfromfightingtheotherbigempires,andalsotheygotallunitedundertheirnewreligionofIslam,soImeanthat’snotreallyfair…right?