Navigating Conflict A Skills-Based Approach WHY WERE HERE Awareness Options Choices Control 1 OUR RELATIONSHIP TO CONFLICT With your tablemates, use page 2 and brainstorm reasons people avoid conflict and the possible benefits of conflict in the workplace Total time: 5 minutes 2 OBJECTIVES Understand the source and nature of conflict. Discover how you typically respond to conflict. Become familiar with and practice skills that enable you to effectively navigate conflict. Create a plan for applying your key learnings. 3 AGENDA Module 1 Anatomy of Conflict Module 2 Requirements for Navigating Conflict Module 3 Skills for Navigating Conflict 3 DEFINITIONS OF CONFLICT A serious disagreement or argument, typically a protracted one A state of disagreement and disharmony; a clash Incompatibility or interference as of one idea, desire, event, or activity with another 4 CASE STUDY: WHAT HAPPENED? 5 minutes Please answer the question on page 1 of your Case Study Module 1 ANATOMY OF CONFLICT Our awareness of, and response to, conflict will ultimately contribute to a productive or unproductive outcome 6 TRIGGERS TO CONFLICT Unmet Expectations Values Violation 8 CASE STUDY: TRIGGERS TO CONFLICT 5 minutes Please answer the questions on page 2 of your Case Study FIGHT REACTIONS TO CONFLICT FLIGHT Reactive behavior/decision with a Short-term focus using Only the information on hand Ignore, Avoid, Placate, Pacify Problem or issue grows and triggers Attack, Blame, Criticize, Accuse 10 FIGHT REACTIONS TO CONFLICT FLIGHT Ignore, Avoid, Placate, Pacify Problem or issue grows and triggers Attack, Blame, Criticize, Accuse Reactive behavior/decision with a Short-term focus using Only the information on hand RESULT A band-aid solution Breakdown in trust and respect Time lost to fixing Diminished willingness Reduced collaboration Decrease in efficiency 10 POSSIBLE OUTCOMES Win - Lose Lose - Win Lose - Lose Win - Win 11 CONFLICT INVENTORY 5 minutes Please complete the conflict inventory on pages 12 and 13 INVENTORY DEBRIEF 10 minutes SCORING KEY: As = response Bs = response Cs = response Review and discuss your results and insights with your table group Flight Fight Proactive 13 CASE STUDY: RESPONSES TO CONFLICT 5 minutes Reflect on your pattern of responses on page 3 of your Case Study. MODULE 1 SUMMARY Our awareness of, and response to, conflict will ultimately contribute to a productive or unproductive outcome. Triggers to conflict are: Unmet Expectations Values Violation People respond to conflict in many ways, depending upon the situation, but lean toward one or two patterns. 14 Module 2 REQUIREMENTS FOR NAVIGATING CONFLICT RISK TO TRUST & RESPECT EMOTIONAL INTENSITY 16 BRAIN RESEARCH First Priority: 17 Safety HOW WE CREATE SAFTEY The ability to demonstrate: the at the time to meet the needs of the and the in the in appropriate appropriate appropriate behavior environment environment people real time 18 EImotionalntelligence CASE STUDY: REQUIREMENTS FOR NAVIGATING CONFLICT 5 minutes Please answer the questions on page 4 of your Case Study THE MYSTERY 19 THE MYSTERY The way you navigate conflict will be aided by having a mindset of: Problem solving vs. and. Inquiry vs.. 19 being right certainty winning FOUR CORE TOOLS Consider Frame of Reference Listen Attentively Ask Questions Use Positive Language 20 CONSIDER FRAME OF REFERENCE Garbage!Garbage! Brilliant!Brilliant! 21 LISTEN ATTENTIVELY Dos and Donts: Establish Block ( and ) Verbally comments Use open and receptive Refrain from Dont 22 eye contact outdistractionsinternal external acknowledge body language jumpingin multi-task multi-task ASK QUESTIONS Closed-ended questions Focus on the viewpoint of the person ASKING the question Open-ended questions Focus on the viewpoint of the person being ASKED the question 23 USE POSITIVE LANGUAGE Use and instead of but Swap positive language for negative language Use I language 24 Safety Emotional Intelligence Four Core Core Tools Tools EMOTIONAL INTENSITY MODULE 2 SUMMARY We must feel safe physically and emotionally in order to navigate conflict. The more intense the emotion, the greater the risk to trust and respect. Using tools that demonstrate emotional intelligence helps us navigate conflict. 25 Module 3 SKILLS FOR NAVIGATING CONFLICT Safety Emotional Intelligence Addressing a Variable Asking for Accountability Managing Internal/External Dynamics Creating Clear Expectations WIN-WIN 29 Safety Emotional Intelligence Addressing a Variable Asking for Accountability Managing Internal/External Dynamics Creating Clear Expectations WIN-WIN 29 CLEAR EXPECTATIONS Are understood Are specific and concrete Are confirmed 30 SKILLS PRACTICE: GIVING CLEAR EXPECTATIONS 10 minutes total Individually complete the Skills Practice preparation on the top of page 32 With a partner, take turns giving a clear expectation Debrief the activity using the instructions at the bottom of the page Switch roles and repeat practice GETTING CLEAR EXPECTATIONS Partner and write possible responses on page 33 to the three Example Expectations Be prepared to discuss your answers with the class Total time: 5 minutes 33 Safety Emotional Intelligence Addressing a Variable Asking for Accountability Managing Internal/External Dynamics Creating Clear Expectations WIN-WIN HOW TO ADDRESS A VARIABLE Start with I Clarify the need Gain agreement 34 SKILLS PRACTICE: ADDRESSING A VARIABLE 10 minutes total Complete the Skills Practice worksheet on page 36 With a partner, practice addressing this variable Debrief the activity by following the instructions at the bottom of the page Switch roles and repeat practice Safety Emotional Intelligence Addressing a Variable Asking for Accountability Managing Internal/External Dynamics Creating Clear Expectations WIN-WIN HOW TO ASK FOR ACCOUNTABILITY Start with I State the feeling you have Clarify the difference Ask for clarification Gain agreement 37 Clarify consequences IF the corrective plan isnt followed. If the issue is corrected, recognize or thank them. If the issue continues, apply the consequences. Communicate using language that maintains dignity 39 ASKING FOR ACCOUNTABILITY AND CONSEQUENCES SKILLS PRACTICE: ASKING FOR ACCOUNTABILITY 5 minutes to prepare, 7 minutes for each rotation Complete the Skills Practice worksheet on page 40 Divide into triads and practice asking for accountability using the instructions on page 41 Debrief by following the instructions on the bottom of the page 41 Rotate until everyone has practiced asking for accountability Safety Emotional Intelligence Addressing a Variable Asking for Accountability Managing Internal/External Dynamics Creating Clear Expectations WIN-WIN Is the bar the same shade of gray? Seeing the internal variables changes the way the external behavior looks EXTERNAL INTERNAL (Perceptions, Values, Beliefs, Emotions, Thoughts, Intentions) (Behavior, Facial Expression, Vocal Aspects, Body Language) ASSUME Boundary Violation 42 MANAGING INTERNAL/ EXTERNAL DYNAMICS Heightened Emotions + Assumptions About Internals = Boundary Violations 43 FOCUS ON BEHAVIOR BY USING LANGUAGE THAT: Is clear, specific (use examples) and objective about their behavior. Makes no assumptions about their internals. Avoids blaming when describing your internals. 43 Staying within Boundaries Boundary Violation EXAMPLES OF VIOLATING INTERNAL/EXTERNAL BOUNDARIES Youre productive but you dont care about the details. Your late arrival at team meetings clearly shows your disregard for my time. Why do you care so much about what he thinks? Youre productivity is great. I need you to proof your work more carefully for typos. When you arrive late to team meetings I feel like you dont value my time. In what way does what he thinks impact you? AVOIDING BOUNDARY VIOLATION PRACTICE Partner and rewrite the three sentences on the bottom of page 43 Be prepared to discuss your answers with the class Total time: 5 minutes 43 STAYING WITHIN BOUNDARIES Work with your team and write improved responses on page 44 to the three scenarios Be prepared to discuss your answers with the class Total time: 5 minutes 44 SKILLS PRACTICE: MANAGING INTERNAL/EXTERNAL DYNAMICS 5 minutes to prepare, 12 minutes for each rotation Complete the Skills Practice worksheet on page 45 Divide into triads and practice managing internal/external dynamics using the instructions on page 46 Debrief by following the instructions on the bottom of the page (Observers use page 47 for notes) Rotate until everyone has practiced managing internal/external dynamics MODULE 3 SUMMARY There are many different skills for responding to conflict in ways that contribute to a productive outcome: Creating Clear Expectations Addressing a Variable Asking for Accountability Managing Internal/External Dynamics 48 WRAP-UP CASE STUDY: ACTION PLANNING 10 minutes Use page 5 to identify which tools would have been most useful in navigating the conflict in your Case Study KEY TAKEAWAYS What are your key takeaways? How and when do you plan to incorporate these new skills? (Be specific.) Be prepared to share one example with the class. 50 APPENDIX Navigating Conflict Worksheet (i-ii) Self-Assessment (iii) References (iv) i-iv Navigating Conflict A Skills-Based Approach THANK YOU!