Narrative Leads

The Narrative Hook- begins with an unexpected part of the story

(the complication instead of the exposition).

Ex: There was blood everywhere when he awoke.

Ex: It was the year 2081, and everyone was finally equal, or almost equal.

Narrative Leads

Scene Setting:The writer uses vivid descriptive to describe the setting

It was unusually bright that night outside of Monique’s small bedroom window in Choisi-le Roi, just outside of Paris. The moon was so radiant, it seemed almost festive. As Monique gazed up at it, she thought that the moon must not know that her village was occupied by Nazi troops. From The Butterfly by Patricia Polacco

Narrative Leads

Telling Detail…begins with detail (a fact) that reveals a writer’s focus or attitude.

Ex: There on the pavement was a small child’s tennis shoe.

Narrative Leads

Character:

begins with describing a major or minor character to call attention to that character.

Ex: Teddy Howland was the skinniest, ugliest kid in Eureka.

Narrative Leads

• Subject Matter: begins by the discussion of a topic to introduce the story

ex: Whoever said the truth would set you free was wrong. That ridiculously trite saying is nothing but crap. Truth always comes back to bite you in the butt.

Narrative Leads

• Dialog- begins with dialog between characters or a main character’s internal dialog.

Ex: “Get off me. I am so tired of you trying to beat me up. Get a life!”

Ex: I never knew it would end like this. I am tired of everyone talking about me life this.”

Narrative Leads

Walking:

The writer seems to

“beat around the bush” instead

of getting right to the point; the subject of the paper isn’t apparent at first.

Ex: Giving credit where credit is due, if it hadn’t been for my mother, I would have never gotten him in the first place, mainly because my father doesn’t like dogs. (this will be about getting a dog)

“Don’t tell me the old lady screamed, bring her on the stage and let me hear her

scream.-Mark Twain

# 1 Show Don’t Tell Sentences

• Do leave a sensory image• Do not leave questions in the

reader’s mind• Do appeal to multiple senses• Do not leave unanswered questions• Contain strong verbs

Answers These Questions

• Who? • What?

• Where? • When? • How? • Why?

Pick Out the Questions Chugging on the unleaded coffee in my travel cup, I stare at the road

through tired eyes, thinking about the long line at the copy machine that I will face because of the turtle in front of me who apparently doesn’t need to worry about deadlines and schedules. My headlights illuminate the neon orange traffic cones lining the side of this bumper to bumper two-lane road, but the blanket of fog makes the dark road even darker. Suddenly the taillights of the turtle in front of me glare right in front of my eyes. My tires squeal and I smell burning rubber as I slam my foot on the brake pedal, but it is too late; the combination of the slick film of oil and water covering the asphalt and my tendency to ride the back bumper

Show; Don’t Tell.• Who? I was shocked and scared; my hands were shaking as I clenched

the steering wheel; my mouth dropped open in astonishment and surprise

• What? The impact—tired squealed and a heavy thump reverberated from my front bumper, along the hood of the car, into my hands as they clutched the steering wheel, and into my chest

• Where? Crowded, busy 2-lane road, heavy construction, orange traffic cones line the side of the road

• When? Dark, foggy, damp morning, slick film of oil and water covering asphalt

• How? Riding the back bumper of the car in front of me, trying to keep anyone from sneaking in line and hoping that I could push the slow car in front of me faster

• Why? Chugging on unleaded coffee in my travel cup hadn’t awakened me yet; I need to get in line to make copies

List as many words for walk as you can think of.

• Dawdle

Show Don’t Tell Using Description

Emily is working hard.

Who is Emily?

• What does she do at work?

• When does she work?

• Where does she work?

• Why does she work?

• How does she work?

Show Don’t Tell Using Description

Emily, a seventeen year old student, comes home exhausted from Albertson’s after stocking countless cans of vegetables on shelves and sacking an endless number of carts full of groceries for customers with crying babies and bad attitudes. She knows driving the sleek red corvette will be worth all the hours she sacrificed after school and the weekends.

Try it on your own

• Amanda is a dancer.

• The woman was angry.

• Jack is a musician.

# 2 Show Don’t Tell Using Figurative

Language

The mugger attacked his victim

Alliteration: Slowly and Silently, the mugger attacked his victim.

Similie:When the moment arrived, he struck as quick as a bull whip, leaving the old woman motionless in the alley.

onomatopeia:the bullet whizzed through the air, striking the victim with deadly force.

Metaphor: The mugger, a panther in the night, running through the streets from his past.

Try it on your own

• The fight at school was unbelievable.

• Those girls think they are so pretty.

• Our school’s hallways are insane.

• She was in love with him.

Show Don’t Tell Using Dialog

Only the most interesting, most emotional, and most purposeful language should be in dialog.

“You have created a monster!” cried Sheila.

“ Yes, but I have awoken science!”

OR

“You have created a monster!” cried Sheila. Ronald muttered in response, “Yes, but I have awoken science.”

Functions of Dialog

• Provide Information

• Describe a place or character

• Create a sense of time

• Reveal a character’s thoughts

• Move the story forward

• Summarize what has happened

• Create conflict or suspense

Volunteers?

• Two volunteers are going to act out a conflict and we will write dialog for them.

• They cannot talk as they do this, but we must interpret their body language.

• Be prepared to Share!

Watch Movie Clip

• As you watch this movie clip with no sound write dialog for the characters.

• Remember we are trying to show indirect characterization!

With a partner

• With a partner, you will be given a conflict. You cannot speak, but you will only write back and forth to one another using correct dialogue punctuation.