My Journey Towards the Kingdom of God

8/13/2019 My Journey Towards the Kingdom of God

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By

Ohurkny thwarms

t`nLikcmhbhe Chm

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Afhut t`n Aut`hr

Ohsùa Jhln nktnrnm eujj-tibn G`ristiak bikistry ik 1996. Wikgnt`nk `n às fnnk a pasthr akm a bissihkary. @n akm ìs eabijy wnrn

ik Lazalstak, Gnktraj Asia ehr 14 ynars. ]`nrn, `n ehukmnm akm jnma khk-prheit hrcakizatihk, ^kmnr Hkn Vhhe, th `njp strnkct`nk

eabijins ik Lazalstak. @is hrcakizatihk whrlnm wit` t`n njmnrjy,

eabijins akm gìjmrnk.

Ohsùa akm ìs wien, Lnjjy, arn gurrnktjy jivikc ik Wikcaphrn wit`

t`nir t`rnn gìjmrnk.


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Trneagn

]`n Fifjn is eujj he sthrins< sthrins afhut pnhpjn akm nvnkts.

Fut rat`nr tàk fnikc a rakmhb ghjjngtihk he sthrins, t`ny snrvn

th tnjj suggnnmikc cnknratihks afhut `hw Chm wnkt afhut (hr is

stijj chikc afhut) agghbpjisìkc @is Sijj t`n pjaks @n àm

shvnrnickjy akm ikmnpnkmnktjy prn-mntnrbiknm ehr @is pnhpjn

akm t`n whrjm akm rnvnajikc @ibsnje th bnk.

]ìkl he Afraàb, w`h jnarknm t`n Chm was On`hva` Oirn`

as rnsujt he wàt Chm àm thjm ìb th mh? th heenr up ìs hkjy

fnchttnk shk, Isaag, hk ak ajtar he sagrieign (Cnk 66?1=).

]ìkl he Bhsns w`h, sufsnqunkt th Isranjs vigthry hvnr

t`n Abajnlitns, fuijt ak ajtar akm gajjnm t`n kabn he it

On`hva`-Kissi? ]`n Jhrm is by Fakknr (Nx 13?1>).

Cimnhk thh fuijt ak ajtar th Chm akm gajjnm it On`hva`-

Wàjhb? ]`n Jhrm is by Tnagn, fngausn Chm assurnm ìb

tàt `n whujm kht min (Oum 5?6=).

Ajj t`nsn sthrins ukmnrsghrn t`n eagt tàt Chm is lkhwk fnst

t`rhuc` nxpnrinkgns, kht nmugatihk. Ie Chm ghujm fn lkhwk fynmugatihk ajhkn, @n whujm àvn sibpjy tauc`t Afraàb,

Bhsns, Cimnhk, akm t`n rnst, @is kabns akm wàt nag` he t`nb

bnakt. Ehr surn, hur Fifjns whujm fn tìkknr tàk t`ny arn

thmay< fut wn whujm fn phhrnr, spirituajjy. @hw whujm wn fn

ikspirnm jiln wn arn khw fy t`n bnk he eait`8 @hw whujm wn

fn nkghuracnm th ruk t`n ragn wit` nkmurakgn tàt is snt fnehrn

us ie t`nrn is kh crnat gjhum he witknssns th surrhukm us8

(@nf 16?1) Sn bust tàkl Chm ehr t`n Tatriarg`s he t`n eait`

ehr t`ny àvn ikmnnm jnet us a jastikc akm prngihus jncagy. It ishur turk th baln a sibijar ohurkny he eait` sh tàt wn thh bay

jnavn a jastikc akm prngihus jncagy th sufsnqunkt cnknratihks.

Wamjy (akm I ab kht oumcikc `nrn), baky jagl t`n patinkgn

th lkhw Chm ik tìs bakknr. ]`ny àvn g`hsnk t`n nasinr way?

nmugatihk. Ik sayikc tìs, I ab kht fjastikc G`ristiak agamnbia.

]`nrn is a pjagn ehr it, fut it s`hujm kht rn-pjagn mivikn

rnvnjatihk. Tauj was a vnry nmugatnm bak, ik t`n rnjicihus

snksn, ynt `n was mijicnkt ik tnagìkc t`n fnjinvnrs ik t`n gitins


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tàt `n visitnm. Fut at t`n sabn tibn, fnikc lnnkjy awarn he t`n

jibitatihk he t`n mimagtig bnt`hm, praynm tàt Chm whujm civn

th t`n eaitèuj a spirit he wismhb akm he rnvnjatihk ik t`nlkhwjnmcn he ìb (Np` 1?13). ]`rhuc` nmugatihk, yhu gak

nasijy lkhw afhut Chm< fut rnvnjatihk wijj gausn yhu th fn

afjn th say, I ab kht asàbnm, ehr I lkhw w`hb I àvn

fnjinvnm, akm I ab ghkvikgnm (6 ]ib 1?16).

I s`hujm gjariey `nrn tàt as yhu rnam by sthry afhut By

Sijmnrknss Ohurkny, yhu bic`t rngajj a sibijar nxpnrinkgn? a

tibn w`nk Chm snnbnm ear away, yhur praynrs fhukgikc hee

t`n gnijikc afhvn yhu, akm yhu àvn jhst yhur way. I wakt yhuth lkhw tàt wàt yhu nxpnrinkgnm was kht t`n Sijmnrknss

Ohurkny fut t`n Marl Kic`t he t`n Whuj1.

Ik t`n Sijmnrknss Ohurkny, as it was ehr t`n Isranjitns, Chm

is gjnarjy visifjn th yhu akm @is prnsnkgn is ukbistalafjn. @n

às kht jnet yhu< @n is jnamikc yhu. Ik t`n Marl Kic`t he t`n

Whuj, `hwnvnr, ak nvij, ukfnjinvikc `nart (às jnm) yhu th eajj

away erhb t`n jivikc Chm (@nf 7?16). Ik s`hrt, yhu arn

faglsjimikc.

Ik Tart Ihe tìs fhhl, I wijj fn sàrikc afhut by jien fntwnnk

t`n ynars 6440 akm 6414, wìg` I gajj By Sijmnrknss Ohurkny.

(It bic`t shukm gjig` th yhu, fut as yhu rnam hk yhu wijj eikm

tàt it iskt.) Fnehrn tìs, I àm fnnk a fnjinvnr he Onsus G`rist

ehr hvnr twnkty-eivn ynars< murikc wìg` I àm snrvnm as a

pasthr akm bissihkary, I àm fnnk wnjj misgipjnm fy chmjy bnk,

akm àvn misgipjnm ht`nrs as wnjj. I lknw Chm< hr sh I t`huc`t.

]`n Sijmnrknss Ohurkny ùbfjnm bn fy s`hwikc bn `hw jittjnI lknw he @ib. (@ubfjikc was hkn he Chms nxprnssnm

hfongtivns ehr Isranjs wijmnrknss ohurkny agghrmikc th

Mnutnrhkhby 0?7.) I marn say tàt by lkhwjnmcn akm eait` ik

Chm crnw bhrn ik t`hsn t`rnn ynars (he t`n Sijmnrknss

Ohurkny) tàk ik t`n twnkty-shbn ynars prihr th it.

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I ab tàkleuj tàt wn arn kht t`n hkjy hkns w`h àvn

ukmnrchkn tìs ohurkny< I pnrshkajjy lkhw he ht`nrs w`h àvn

chkn t`rhuc` it ajsh. ]`nir pat` akm girgubstakgns bic`t mieenrsjic`tjy fut t`ny ajways jnam th t`n sabn mnstikatihk? a mnnpnr

lkhwjnmcn he akm crnatnr trust ik Chm.

Ajt`huc` tìs ohurkny was nbfarlnm uphk baikjy fy by

wien akm I, by gìjmrnk partigujarjy t`n twh njmnr hkns

wnrn kht ukthug`nm fy it. Chm was, sh th spnal, lijjikc twh

firms wit` hkn sthkn, jiln @n mim wit` Afraàb hk Bhukt

Bhria`.

Afraàb àm waitnm baky ynars ehr t`n arrivaj he Chms

prhbisnm shk twnkty-eivn, th fn nxagt. Eikajjy, Isaag wasfhrk< akm Afraàb jhvnm ìb mnarjy. Oust w`nk nvnrytìkc

snnbnm th fn hk tragl ehr Afraàb th fnghbn t`n eat`nr he

baky katihks, as Chm àm saim, Chm @ibsnje furst t`n

fuffjn fy civikc Afraàb tìs ghbbakm? ]aln khw yhur

shk, yhur hkjy shk, w`hb yhu jhvn, Isaag, akm ch th t`n jakm

he Bhria`, akm heenr ìb t`nrn as a furkt heenrikc hk hkn he t`n

bhuktaiks wìg` I wijj tnjj yhu (Cnk 66?6).

Afraàb hfnynm Chm.

Fy t`nk, Isaag was kh jhkcnr a gìjm< `n was ik ìs tìrtins.

@nkgn, it whujmkt fn mieeigujt ehr ìb th p`ysigajjy hvnrphwnr

ìs eat`nr (w`h was afhut 174 ynars hjm) akm savn ìbsnje

erhb gnrtaik mnat`. Fut `n mimkt. ]`rhuc` tìs nvnkt ajhkn,

Chm tnstnm akm saw t`n eait` akm hfnminkgn he fht` Afraàb

akm Isaag. Ik t`n nkm, t`n Jhrm fjnssnm fht` Afraàb akm Isaag.

Jilnwisn, as a rnsujt he hur (by wien akm I) Sijmnrknss

Ohurkny, ik partigujar fngausn he `hw wn trustnm ik Chm, t`nir

eait` ik Chm was fuijt up. Traisn t`n Jhrm.

]`nrn arn twh rnashks w`y I àvn mngimnm th put hur

nxpnrinkgns ik writikc. ]`n eirst is pnrshkaj. Sàt Chm às

ajjhwnm us th ukmnrch is prngihus akm t`n jnsshks jnarknm

prignjnss. ]h ehrcnt t`nb whujm fn ghstjy< Chm bic`t baln us

ch t`rhuc` t`nb acaik. Its fnnk a enw ynars sikgn wnvn

nbnrcnm erhb t`n ohurkny akm I enjt it is tibn th rnghjjngt t`n

nxpnrinkgns akm ghkshjimatn t`n jnsshks jnarknm.


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Fut t`nsn rnghjjngtihks arn kht oust ehr by hwk fnkneit

Gàptnr 1

@hbnghbikc

It was ukgjnar w`y Chm waktnm us th rnturk th Wikcaphrn fut wn

wnrn afshjutnjy surn it was wàt `n waktnm. ]`n way by wien akmI `narm @is vhign ikmnpnkmnktjy he nag` ht`nr akm at mieenrnkt

tibns was ukmnkiafjn. It gabn th bn at eirst as a ennjikc a

strakcn ennjikc.

Sn wnrn ik Wikcaphrn ehr t`n G`ristbas `hjimays. Sn

mimk't stay jhkc oust a enw mays. (Eikmikc agghbbhmatihks ehr a

eabijy he ehur was ajways a crnat gàjjnkcn.) Akm w`nk it gabn

tibn ehr us th rnturk th t`n einjm, I àm tìs strakcn uknasy ennjikc

ik bn. Erakljy, I mimkt wakt th jnavn (Wikcaphrn).

Sàt's àppnkikc th bn8 It was nbfarrassikc, th fn`hknst. Ghujm I àvn gauc`t t`n fuc gajjnm Batnriajisb8 Aetnr

ajj, it was G`ristbas tibn akm t`n gity jhhlnm bhrn ghjhreuj akm

appnajikc t`nk tàk aky ht`nr tibn he t`n ynar. I ghujmkt

ukmnrstakm it bysnje akm sh I misgjhsnm it th kh hkn, kht nvnk th by

wien.

I trinm th sàln it hee fut th kh avaij. ]`n ennjikc pnrsistnm

ajj t`n way th t`n airphrt, akm hk t`n airpjakn. As t`n ejic`t was

jnavikc, I was sh tnbptnm th afhrt. I bakacnm th supprnss t`n

ennjikc akm prntnkm I was àppy th fn chikc "`hbn". Fut ik trut`, I

waskt.

Fagl ik t`n einjm, by struccjn acaikst t`n ikvisifjn ehn

ghktikunm may akm kic`t. I mrnamnm t`n bhrkikcs< I mimkt wakt th

ch th whrl. Kht fngausn t`nrn was kh whrl th fn mhkn. Hk t`n

ghktrary, t`n whrl was oust fncikkikc. I oust enjt tàt I kh jhkcnr

fnjhkcnm `nrn< tàt by tibn was up. Cramuajjy, t`n ikknr turbhij

fncak th taln its thjj hk bn p`ysigajjy. Frnatìkc fngabn mieeigujt


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akm paikeuj. I àm th jnt it hut. Akht`nr may akm I oust bic`t

nxpjhmn.

]`n gàkgn gabn hkn kic`t as by wien akm I wnrnwatgìkc tnjnvisihk ik t`n jivikc rhhb. ^kafjn th `hjm it ik

akybhrn, I jnt it ajj ghbn hut murikc t`n ghbbnrgiaj frnal.

"I àvn shbntìkc th tnjj yhu," I saim th Lnjjy, fut it iskt

wàt yhu tìkl.

Aetnr I àm eikis`nm sàrikc wit` `nr ajj tàt was

àppnkikc th bn s`n sibpjy jhhlnm at bn akm sbijnm.

I lkhw tàt jhhl. It was t`n "I lkhw shbntìkc yhu

mhk't" typn he jhhl.

^klkhwk th bn, s`n thh àm shbntìkc fhttjnm up ik `nr tijj 6440, bikus t`n 7 ynars

wn wnrn fagl ik Wikcaphrn. It was tibn, ikmnnm.

]ìs was ik Oakuary he 6440.

Nxagtjy hkn ynar ach, I rnsicknm erhb t`n gùrg` w`nrn I àm

snrvnm ehr t`n past 13 ynars. Fut tìs mimk't gàkcn hur

ghbbitbnkt th t`n whrl Chm às gajjnm us th ik t`n einjm. Nvnk

wit`hut t`n gùrg`'s eikakgiaj akm spirituaj faglikc, wn staynm

hk...trustikc Chm ajj t`n way.

Enfruary was t`n jast bhkt` tàt wn rngnivnm a sajary

erhb t`n gùrg`. Aetnr tàt, it was oust us-akm-t`n-Jhrm.

]`nrn wnrn baky amvaktacns th fnikc a gùrg`-supphrtnmbissihkary. Yhu àvn t`n eikakgiaj sngurity as jhkc as yhur status

mhns kht gàkcn. Fut at tibns jiln tìs hkn tàt wn nkghuktnrnm,

yhu arn jnet ik a jurg` hkgn t`n jienjikn is gut. ]`n garpnt was

summnkjy pujjnm erhb ukmnr yhur ennt. ]`nrn is kh rukway th jakm

akm rneunj. Sn oust àm th lnnp chikc akm trust tàt t`n wikm

fnknat` hur wikcs wijj ghktikun th fjhw.

Ehr t`n knxt ynar, wn jivnm hk akm supphrtnm t`n bikistry

usikc hur pnrshkaj savikcs, wìg` àm talnk us baky ynars th


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fuijm it up. Akm witìk a ynar, it was chkn oust jiln tàt. Sn àm

nkhuc`, t`huc`, th fuy pjakn tiglnts ehr t`n w`hjn eabijy th ejy

`hbn. Fy t`nk t`nrn wnrn eivn he us.

By wien akm I wnrn barrinm ik 1994. Hur eirst gìjm, a cirj, gabn

twh ynars aetnr tàt. Ik t`n sabn ynar, I nktnrnm eujj-tibn G`ristiak

bikistry - shbntìkc I àm enjt gajjnm th sikgn I was 15. By wien

lknw it w`nk s`n barrinm bn, akm sh it mim kht surprisn `nr w`nk

t`n tibn gabn.

]`n Jhrm hpnknm t`n mhhr ehr bn ik t`n bhst abazikc

way. Sn àm oust cht barrinm akm wnrn bnrnjy whrsìppnrs at t`n

gùrg`. Hur fam nxpnrinkgn ik t`n prnvihus gùrg` bamn us a jittjnbhrn `nsitakt th mivn `nameirst ikth t`n knxt gùrg`. Aetnr ajj, tìs

gùrg` àm shbn strakcn pragtigns, sug` as spnalikc ik thkcuns

akm eajjikc mhwk (ukmnr t`n phwnr he t`n @hjy Wpirit, t`ny say).

Knvnr bikm tàt t`husakms wnrn attnkmikc its bujti-snrvigns nvnry

Wukmay. Sn waktnm th taln it nasy akm lnnp a jhw prheijn. Wnrvikc

ik aky gapagity was t`n eurt`nst tìkc erhb hur bikms t`nk. ]àt

was hur pjak.

Chm àm ìs pjak thh. Akm ik t`n nkm, ìs pjak prnvaijnm

hvnr hursas usuaj.

Sitìk a ynar, wn ehukm hursnjvns fnghbikc bnbfnrs he

t`n gùrg` akm hk hur way th fnghbikc Gnjj Crhup Jnamnrs

(jnamnrs he a sbajj crhup ik t`n gùrg`). A ynar jatnr, àvikc jnm

t`n Gnjj akm bujtipjinm it, I was hut he a ohf (ik t`n gùrg`, tàt

is). ]àt was w`nk by _hkn Tasthr gabn th spnal wit` us.

Sn fubpnm ikth nag` ht`nr ik t`n ehynr fnehrn t`n snrvign

startnm. Aetnr nxgàkcikc t`n khrbaj ehrbajitins, `n gut th t`n

gàsn akm ikvitnm us th mikknr tàt wnnl. Sn suspngtnm khtìkc.Aetnr ajj, iskt it t`n ohf he t`n pasthr th lkhw ìs ejhgl8 Fut tìs

apphiktbnkt was akytìkc fut hrmikary.

Mikknr was at a Gìknsn rnstaurakt. I àvn sikgn ehrchttnk

w`nrn wn wnkt. Fut I wijj knvnr ehrcnt wàt àppnknm tàt kic`t.

@n mim kht nvnk wait tijj aetnr by eavhritn part - mnssnrts. As shhk

as wn àvn eikis`nm natikc akm t`n ehhm àm jakmnm ik hur

sthbag`s, `n pus`nm a pingn he papnr ik erhkt he bn. I was s`hglnm

a jittjn, heenkmnm, pnràps. Ehr a bhbnkt, I t`huc`t `n was


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nxpngtikc bn pay ehr t`n bnaj. Sàt g`nnl, I t`huc`t, th ikvitn us

th mikknr akm t`nk aslnm us th ehht t`n fijj. Fut it wask't t`n fijj

tàt was pus`nm fnehrn bn. Vat`nr, it was ak Appjigatihk Ehrb ehrNbpjhybnkt. @n was phppikc t`n qunstihk.

Wikcaphrnaks, ie yhu àvn kht lkhwk fy khw, àvn a

strakcn way he "phppikc t`n qunstihk". S`nk a cuy wakts a cirj th

barry ìb, `n whujm asl ie t`ny ghujm fhhl a ejat thcnt`nr. At jnast,

tàt was `hw I mim it. (Fjus`) @nrn, fy pjagikc t`n Appjigatihk

Ehrb fnehrn bn, by pasthr was ikvitikc bn th fn a bnbfnr he t`n

pasthraj tnab ik t`n gùrg`.

Sàt a privijncn.

]`n bhbnkt I àm fnnk waitikc ehr àm eikajjy arrivnm. Iwas oubpikc ehr ohy hk t`n iksimn fut I trinm kht th jnt it s`hw.

Wijjy as it bay shukm, I mim kht wakt th appnar thh nacnr th aggnpt

t`n ikvitatihk. Nvnrytìkc ik bn was rnamy th sick hk t`n mhttnm

jikn ric`t t`nrn arn t`n rnstaurakt. Ikstnam, I saim tàt I whujm taln a

enw mays th tìkl akm pray afhut it a wnnl, th fn nxagt.

]àt wnnl passnm fy at skaijs pagn. Nag` may enjt jiln

ntnrkity.

Hk t`n ehurt` may, I snkt ik t`n Appjigatihk Ehrb.

Hur rnturk was kht agghbpakinm fy phbp hr gnrnbhky. It was a

quint nktry. Kh hkn was t`nrn th bnnt us at t`n airphrt (kht tàt wn

nxpngtnm akyhkn th). It was a prngurshr he tìkcs th ghbn.


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Gàptnr 6

By kabn is Ohsùa

Ajj hur kabns àvn bnakikc.

]`n kabn by parnkts cavn bn is TAVG WNK. It is a

ukiqun kabn. Wh ukiqun tàt baky whujm cnt it wrhkc. A enw nvnk

t`huc`t tàt I hwknm t`n TAVLWHK s`hppikc bajj ik Bajaysia. (I

mhkt, hfvihusjy.)

Ik Gìknsn, TAVG is a typn he trnn, akm WNK bnaks

suggnss. By jast kabn is JHLN, wìg` shukms jiln t`n whrm ehr

rham hr way ik Gakthknsn. Tut t`nb ajj thcnt`nr akm by kabn

says tàt stnameastknss, hr stuffhrkknss, is t`n lny th suggnss. I

tìkl I àvn a jittjn he fht`.

By kabn ajsh rnbikms bn he a partigujar Tsajb. Mh yhulkhw wìg` hkn8

Fjnssnm is t`n bak w`h wajls kht ik t`n ghuksnj he t`n wiglnm,

khr stakms ik t`n way he sikknrs, khr sits ik t`n snat he sgheenrs,

I mim kht start usikc it uktij 6414. As yhu rnam t`n ehjjhwikc pacns,

yhu wijj lkhw w`y.

Ik 199>, by eabijy akm I, thcnt`nr wit` twh ht`nr eabijins, wnrn

fnikc ghbbissihknm as bissihkarins murikc t`n tnk hgjhgl snrvign.


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]`n gùrg` was paglnm akm iktnrgnsshrs wnrn prayikc ik a rhhb

upstairs, as t`ny usuajjy mh.

]`n snkihr pasthr àm fncuk th pray ehr t`n eabijins hknfy hkn. At t`n sabn tibn, ak iktnrgnsshr àppnknm th fn stakmikc

at a wikmhw tàt hvnrjhhlnm t`n stacn erhb t`n simn. ]`nrn akm

t`nk, t`n Jhrm sphln th ìb, sayikc, I wijj pjagn t`n spirit he

Ohsùa hk hkn he t`nb. Tray ehr ìb.

Ikstikgtivnjy, `n fncak th pray ehr t`n eirst ik jikn (erhb

ìs pnrspngtivn). @n was t`n ehrbnr Bissihks Tasthr.

Kht ìb, t`n Jhrm saim th t`n iktnrgnsshr.

Wh `n praynm ehr t`n knxt pnrshk - a Mistrigt Tasthr.

Kht ìb nit`nr.As t`n nyns he t`n iktnrgnsshr sìetnm akm ehgusnm hk bn,

`n whkmnrnm, S`h is `n8

I was a rnjativnjy knw lim hk t`n fjhgl, àvikc hkjy

ohiknm t`n gùrg` oust t`rnn ynars ach. ]ypigajjy, it whujm taln a

Bissihks Gakmimatn > 3 ynars fnehrn `n hr s`n was snkt hut th t`n

einjm. Whbn`hw, ik oust twh ynars, I was fnikc snkt hut.

]`n ghbbissihkikc gnrnbhky nkmnm akm nvnryhkn jnet

t`n stacn ik t`rnn mieenrnkt mirngtihks. By wien akm lims turknm

ric`t akm sgurrinm thwarms t`n nxit wìjn I wnkt mhwk t`n bimmjn

th pigl up by fifjn, wìg` was jyikc hk t`n erhkt pnw. As I was

rnagìkc ehr it, akht`nr arb rnag`nm hut ehr bikn. Unry shhk, t`ny

fht` bnt. ]`n strhkc arb craffnm `hjm he bikn. By cazn tragnm

t`n arb upwarms tijj I saw a eagn. @n was a tajj fjagl bak. I àm

knvnr snnk ìb fnehrn. @n àm a erinkmjy jhhl. Sit` a vhign th

batg`, `n saim th bn, Vnam t`n fhhl he Ohsùa. Sit` tàt, `n

rnjnasnm bn th ghbpjntn by hricikaj tasl. I mim kht snn tàt bak

acaik, akm knit`nr mim I rnbnbfnr ìs whrms th bn uktij I mim kht jnark afhut wàt t`n iktnrgnsshr àm rngnivnm

erhb t`n Jhrm uktij ehur bhkt`s jatnr. S`nk I mim, I ibbnmiatnjy

rngajjnm t`n whrms tàt t`n tajj, fjagl strakcnr uttnrnm th bn. ]`ny

wnrn kht ghikgimnkgns. ]`nrn bic`t fn a bnssacn erhb t`n Jhrm th

bn.

]`n knxt may, witìk a may, I rnam t`n fhhl he Ohsùa eivn

tibns. Sàt sthhm hut th bn ik by rnamikcs wnrn fattjns, fattjns,

akm bhrn fattjns.


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Sàt arn yhu sayikc th bn, Jhrm8 ]àt by jien wijj fn

eujj he fattjns8

@n mim kht akswnr.

S`nk Chm mhnskt akswnr, it mhns kht bnak tàt @n mhnskt garn.

@n garns a jht. Ie wn whujm fn patinkt, wn wijj snn akm

ukmnrstakm ìs wijj ehr us.

Ehr bn, Chm knnmnm bn th rnam t`n fhhl he Ohsùa

fngausn it whujm fnghbn a rhambap he shrts ehr t`n knxt enw ynars

he by jien erhb 1993 tijj 6411.

]`n eirst vnrsn he t`n eirst gàptnr he t`n fhhl he Ohsùa

rnams? Aetnr t`n mnat` he Bhsns, t`n snrvakt he t`n JHVM, t`nJHVM saim th Ohsùa t`n shk he Kuk, Bhsns' assistakt. Jiln baky

ht`nrs, I àm t`huc`t he bysnje as a snrvakt he Chm. I waktnm th

mh baky tìkcs ehr Chm, akm I fnjinvnm I ghujm mh t`nb ajj wnjj.

Aetnr ajj, baky pnhpjn àm aeeirbnm by passihk, mnmigatihk akm

gapafijity.

Jnsshk? It mhns kht battnr wàt pnhpjn t`huc`t he yhu< it

is wàt Chm tìkls he yhu tàt ghukts.

Chm lknw tàt t`n hkjy way tàt `n ghujm usn bn bhrn

ehr @is likcmhbs saln whujm fn w`nk I àm jnarknm th ùbfjn

bysnje th t`n phikt he fnikc a snrvakt he a bak w`hb `n whujm

pjagn hvnr bn. Ehr t`n knxt six ynars t`rnn ik Wikcaphrn akm

akht`nr t`rnn ik t`n einjm I sufbittnm bysnje th Chms apphiktnm

jnamnrs hvnr bn. I mim hkjy wàt t`ny thjm bn th mh, akm mim kht mh

wàt I was kht thjm th mh. It bic`t shukm nasy ehr yhu, fut it mimkt

ghbn katurajjy ehr bn. Fut, tàkl Chm, I jnarknm th ùbfjn bysnje.

I passnm bhst he t`n tnsts tàt Chm snkt by way, sug` tàt at t`n

nkm he six ynars, I was eikajjy ajjhwnm th bhvn hk th Unrsn 6.Bhsns by snrvakt is mnam. Khw t`nrnehrn arisn, ch hvnr

tìs Ohrmak, yhu akm ajj tìs pnhpjn, ikth t`n jakm tàt I ab civikc

th t`nb, th t`n pnhpjn he Isranj.

@nrn, Chm mngjarns? Bhsns is mnam. ]ìs was ìs way he

sayikc th bn tàt I knnm kht pjay snghkm eimmjn th akyhkn akybhrn.

It is tibn ehr bn th pigl up t`n baktjn akm nbfragn by gajjikc

he Ya`wn` ehr bhrn tnagìkc hk tìs battnr.) Erhb tìs, wn gak

ukmnrstakm w`y Chm saw it kngnssary th frikc @is Tnhpjn ikth t`n

wijmnrknss ibbnmiatnjy aetnr @n àm mnjivnrnm t`nb erhb fhkmacn.Ik t`n wijmnrknss, partigujarjy at Bhukt Wikai, Chm attnbptnm th

rnsthrn akm ikstijj hrmnr ikth @is Tnhpjn fy civikc t`nb t`n

]hra` (bhrn ghbbhkjy lkhwk as ]`n Jaw).

]`n purphsn he Isranjs Sijmnrknss Ohurkny is nxprnssnm ik

Mnutnrhkhby 0?6? Akm yhu sàjj rnbnbfnr t`n w`hjn way tàt

t`n JHVM yhur Chm às jnm yhu t`nsn ehrty ynars ik t`n

wijmnrknss, tàt `n bic`t ùbfjn yhu, tnstikc yhu th lkhw wàt

was ik yhur `nart, w`nt`nr yhu whujm lnnp ìs ghbbakmbnkts hr

kht.Sn snn Chm mhikc t`n sabn tìkc wit` Isranj jatnr ik t`nir

ìsthry, at a tibn w`nk t`ny wnrn civikc t`nbsnjvns th t`n whrsìp

he ht`nr chms sug` as Faaj. ]`rhuc` t`n prhp`nt @hsna, Chm saim

tìs? ]`nrnehrn, fn`hjm, I wijj ajjurn `nr, akm frikc `nr ikth t`n

wijmnrknss, akm spnal tnkmnrjy th `nr (@hsna 6?1=).

Onsus, t`n Whk he Chm, was kht nxnbpt erhb t`n Sijmnrknss

Ohurkny. Craktnm, @is was bug` s`hrtnr? hkjy ehrty mays. Fut

tàts fngausn Onsus, fnikc frhuc`t up ik ak hfsnrvakt Onwis`

eabijy, àm lkhwk akm lnpt t`n ghbbakmbnkts he Chm sikgn @n

was a gìjm. @n kht hkjy lknw Chm, @n àm eait` ik Chm. ]ìs

pjnasnm t`n Eat`nr. ]ìs was w`y, at @is faptisb, t`n Eat`nr was

afjn th pufjigjy say he @is Whk? ]ìs is by fnjhvnm Whk, wit`

w`hb I ab wnjj pjnasnm (Batt`nw 7?13).

]`n wijmnrknss, it snnbs, is Chms prnenrrnm arnka ehr

misgipjnsìp. ]`nrnehrn, I say, t`n Sijmnrknss Ohurkny is vnry

nssnktiaj, nvnk grugiaj, th t`n G`ristiak jien. Sn w`h àvn fnnk

savnm erhb t`n whrjm knnm hur prihritins, vajuns akm bikmsnts rn-hrmnrnm th ajick wit` Chms. Ht`nrwisn, wn whujm fn jivikc as

garkaj G`ristiaks ajj t`n mays he hur jivns.

]h lkhw w`nt`nr yhu whujm lnnp ìs ghbbakmbnkts hr

kht was wàt Chm knnmnm th eikm hut afhut bn. Akm @n usnm t`n

Sijmnrknss Ohurkny th agghbpjis` it.

Sijj yhu jnt Chm jnam yhu ikth t`n wijmnrknss sh tàt @n bay

tnst akm traik yhu th mh @is Sijj8

]`nwijmnrknss,

itsnnbs,

isChmsprnenrrnm

arnkaehrmisgipjnsìp.


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":

Gàptnr =

Whwikc akm Vnapikc

I jnarknm by prngihus jnsshks murikc by wijmnrknss ohurkny) akm t`nk thhl ìb hk a thur he it. Thiktikc tht`n trnns akm pjakts crhwikc ajj arhukm t`nb, Chm saim th Amab?

Fn`hjm, I àvn civnk yhu nvnry pjakt yinjmikc snnm tàt is hk t`n

eagn he ajj t`n nart`, akm nvnry trnn wit` snnm ik its eruit. Yhu sàjj

àvn t`nb ehr ehhm (Cnknsis 1?69).

]`ny wnrn civnk th Amab akm ìs wien. ]ìs bnaks tàt t`ny

ghujm ernnjy nat t`nb. Sìjn t`ny àm whrl th mh ik t`n Carmnk,

t`nir whrl was kht tinm th t`nir prhvisihk. S`nknvnr Amab enjt

jiln natikc, `n hkjy àm th strntg` hut ìs àkm akm taln a eruit erhb


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t`n trnn, aky trnn. Ik eagt, t`n bhrn Amab atn, t`n bhrn fnkneigiaj it

whujm fn th ìb akm ìs phstnrity. S`y mh I say tàt8

Vngajj tàt nvnry eruit akm pjakt ik t`n Carmnk yinjmnm snnm(Cnknsis 1?11, 16). Sìg` bnaks tàt nag` akm nvnry eruit akm

pjakt ik t`n Carmnk phssnssnm a katuraj akm ik`nrnkt afijity th

rnprhmugn itsnje. Ak appjn, ehr nxabpjn, às as baky as tnk snnms

ik it. Ie t`nsn snnms wnrn pjaktnm ikth t`n crhukm, nag` he t`nb

whujm ik tibn crhw ikth a trnn tàt prhmugns baky appjns

snashkajjy. Akm ie ajj t`n snnms he t`n appjns arn pjaktnm, gak yhu

ibacikn `hw baky appjn trnns t`nrn wijj fn, akm `hw baky appjns

t`ny wijj prhmugn8 Akm, `nrn, wn arn oust tajlikc afhut appjns.

]`nrn arn eruits akm vncntatihk he ajj likms ik t`n Carmnk< akm ajjhe t`nb ghktaik snnm. ]`n bhrn Amab atn, t`n bhrn snnm `n whujm

àvn th pjakt wit`.

East ehrwarm th t`n kikt` gnktury w`nk Isranj was fnikc rujnm fy

nvij likcs akm Njioa` àm fnnk ikstrugtnm fy t`n Jhrm th taln

rneucn fy t`n frhhl he G`nrit` wìg` is nast he t`n Ohrmak. ]`nrn

t`n Jhrm ghbbakmnm t`n ravnks th ennm Njioa`. Ajj was wnjj ehr a

wìjn uktij t`n frhhl fncak th mry up.

It is a katuraj tnkmnkgy th wakt th rnam hk th eikm hut wàt

àppnks knxt. Fut jnt bn urcn yhu th pausn akm ibacikn t`n

situatihk tàt Njioa` was eagikc. Ik t`n whrms he A. S. Tikl?

May fy may t`n watnr ik t`n frhhl stnamijy mibikis`nm?

mim ìs `hpns mh jilnwisn8 Mim ìs shkcs he whrsìp fnghbn

ennfjnr akm jnss ernqunkt as t`n strnabjnt rhjjnm jnss khisijy

hvnr its rhgly fnm8 Sas ìs àrp ùkc uphk t`n wijjhws as `n

cavn ìbsnje up th akxihus t`huc`t akm rnstjnssjy pagnm th akm

erh8

@hw whujm yhur eait` fn aeengtnm ie yhu wnrn ik Njioa`s

s`hns8

Khtìkc ik Wgripturn ìktnm, nvnk sjic`tjy, at sug` a tìkc.

Chm lnnps ik pnrengt pnagn t`n hkn w`hsn bikm is staynm uphk

@ibsnje. Fut ehr tìs th fn trun, Tikl says, t`n `nart bust

stnameastjy ghkeimn ik ìb.


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"8

Ik baky ways, by eabijy akm I wnrn afjn th imnktiey wit`

Njioa`s pjic`t. ]`n frhhl àm mrinm ehr us akm t`n ravnks àm ajj

jnet as wnjj. ]ìs is w`nk t`n ruffnr bnnts t`n rham, t`n ujtibatntnst he hur eait` ik Chm. Sn wijj lkhw at t`n nkm ie hur trust is ik

t`n Jhrm, hr wn arn bnrnjy eair wnat`nr G`ristiaks.

Nvnry G`ristiak, I fnjinvn, enars th fn ik sug` a situatihk. Fut ie

wn wnrn, hur bikms whujm bhst jilnjy fn mistragtnm. Akm ikstnam

he waitikc patinktjy ehr t`n Jhrm, it whujm fn whkmnrikc wàt th mh

knxt.

Njioa` whln up hkn bhrkikc akm ehukm tàt t`n frhhl, ìs

pribary shurgn he sustnkakgn, àm ghbpjntnjy mrinm up. Sàt wijj

`n mh knxt8 S`nrn wijj `n ch8 Hr bhrn prngisnjy, w`nrn gak `nch8 @n bust khw taln battnrs ikth ìs hwk àkms. Fut `n mhnskt.

Sn arn kht thjm `hw jhkc fnehrn t`n knxt whrm he t`n Jhrm gabn th

ìb, fut wn lkhw tàt Njioa` waitnm.

]`n Tsajbist tnjjs us wàt àppnks th t`hsn w`h wait patinktjy

ehr t`n Jhrm?

I waitnm patinktjy ehr t`n JHVM< `n ikgjiknm th bn akm

`narm by gry.

@n mrnw bn up erhb t`n pit he mnstrugtihk, hut he t`n biry

fhc, akm snt by ennt uphk a rhgl, balikc by stnps sngurn.

@n put a knw shkc ik by bhut`, a shkc he praisn th hur

Chm.

Baky wijj snn akm enar, akm put t`nir trust ik t`n JHVM.

(Tsajb =4?1-7)

]`nk whrm he t`n Jhrm gabn th \Njioa`R, s`hwikc tàt Chm

àm kht ehrchttnk akm @n knvnr ehrcnts th fn cragihus th @is

hwk. Akm ie Njioa` àm ikmnnm talnk battnrs ikth ìs hwk àkmsakm mim ìs fnst ehr ìbsnje, `n whujm àvn rnajiznm ìs ehjjy khw.

Tikl writns?

Ik chikc th G`nrit` t`n prhp`nt àm agtnm ukmnr Mivikn

hrmnrs, akm t`nrnehrn was ukmnr Chms spngiaj garn. Ghujm `n,

t`nk, ghbn th aky rnaj àrb ukmnr sug` cuarmiaksìp8 @n

bust t`nrnehrn rnbaik w`nrn `n is uktij Chm mirngts ìb th

jnavn t`n pjagn, kh battnr `hw ukpjnasakt ghkmitihks bay


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fnghbn. Wh wit` us. S`nk it is gjnar tàt Chm às pjagnm us

w`nrn wn arn, t`nrn wn bust, "Afimn" (1 Ghr. 3?64).

Vnamikc a jittjn eurt`nr, yhu wijj misghvnr tàt Njioa` mim bnnt a

wimhw as `n nktnrnm t`n gity _arnpàt`. Fut th ìs `hrrhr akm th

hurs as wnjj, ie wn wnrn Njioa` tìs wimhw was as phhr as phhr

gak cnt. At t`n tibn he `nr nkghuktnr wit` t`n prhp`nt, s`n was

cat`nrikc stigls th prnparn a bnaj tàt s`n akm `nr shk whujm nat

it akm min.

Sàt was Chm tìklikc, snkmikc t`n prhp`nt th a phhr wimhw

w`h ghujm àrmjy sustaik `nrsnje akm `nr shk8 Fut w`nk yhu tìkl

afhut it, tìs is t`n àjjbarl he Chm? ibphssifjn situatihks. ]`nbhrn mnspnratn t`n situatihk, t`n crnatnr t`n biragjn tàt ghbns hut

he it whujm fn.

Njioa` was kht bhvnm fy t`n mirn strait he t`n wimhw. It was a

snvnrn tnstikc ehr Njioa`, kht hkjy th taln t`n ohurkny t`rhuc` t`n

mnsnrt fut ajsh th nktnr ikth ak nxpnrinkgn tàt hpphsnm ìs katuraj

ikstikgts akm rnjicihus traikikc. @nrn `n was ik _arnpàt`, wit` kh

agquaiktakgns, akm àvikc th fn mnpnkmnkt hk a Cnktijn ik a pacak

gity. Vnbnbfnrikc t`n whrm he Chm th ìb, Njioa` ikstrugtnm t`n

wimhw th civn ìb shbntìkc th nat akm mrikl. Ik mhikc sh, it was

kht Njioa` tàt ghbbakmnm t`n wimhw, fut Chm, ehr `n àm saim, I

wijj ghbbakm a wimhw t`nrn th ennm yhu.

Khw I lkhw w`y Chm mim kht ajjhw bn th raisn eukms ehr by

eabijy, hr nvnk th sàrn t`n knnms tàt wn àvn wit` ht`nrs. Ie wn

mim sh, pnhpjn whujm civn hut he pity akm ghbpassihk akm, pnràps,

muty. Sàt cjhry whujm Chm àvn ik tìs8 Fut ie kh ùbak neehrt

was appjinm akm ynt pnhpjn wnrn bhvnm th civn, ajj cjhry whujm ch

th Chm. Akm tìs was wàt àppnknm murikc hur SijmnrknssOhurkny. Chm sphln th varihus ikmivimuajs afhut us akm, ik shbn

gasns, ikstrugtnm t`nb th civn spngieig abhukts he bhkny th us. Ajj

t`n wìjn t`ny wnrn ukawarn he hur partigujar knnms. I ab sh cjam

tàt t`ny cavn ik eait` akm ik hfnminkgn th t`n Jhrm. ]`ny wnrn

fhjm akm enarjnss, jiln t`n wimhw ik _arnpàt`. ]`ny shwnm wàt

jittjn t`ny àm ikth t`n bak he Chm.

S`nk t`n wimhw shwnm ikth Njioa`, s`n sufsnqunktjy rnapnm ak

abazikc àrvnst. ]`n Fifjn tnjjs us tàt, s`n akm `n akm `nr


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`husn`hjm atn ehr baky mays. ]`n oar he ejhur was kht spnkt,

knit`nr mim t`n ouc he hij fnghbn nbpty, agghrmikc th t`n whrm he

t`n JHVM tàt `n sphln fy Njioa`.Mh yhu àvn a knnm8 Arn yhu ik jagl8 Mh wàt tìs wimhw mim?

shw a chhm snnm, akm ik mun snashk yhu wijj rnap a àrvnst.

Onsus prhbisnm tàt w`nk yhu civn, it wijj fn civnk th yhu.

Chhm bnasurn, prnssnm mhwk, sàlnk thcnt`nr, rukkikc hvnr, wijj

fn put ikth yhur jap. Ehr wit` t`n bnasurn yhu usn it wijj fn

bnasurnm fagl th yhu. (Juln 5?79)

]ry it.

Knnmjnss th say, a jnsshk hk Whwikc akm Vnapikc whujm fnikghbpjntn wit`hut bnktihkikc t`n whrl he hur Jhrm Onsus G`rist.

S`nk eagnm wit` eivn t`husakm ùkcry bnk (kht ikgjumikc

whbnk akm gìjmrnk), @n thhl a fhys jukg`, eivn jhavns akm twh

eis`, akm cavn tàkls. Ik mhikc sh, @n was shwikc a snnm. Ik tàt

sabn may, as was nxpngtnm w`nknvnr yhu shw a snnm, @n rnapnm a

àrvnst. ]`nrn was bhrn tàk nkhuc` ehhm th ennm t`hsn w`h wnrn

prnsnkt tàt may.

]`n crnatnst akm bhst prngihus snnm Onsus shwnm bhrn

prngihus akm phtnkt tàk akyhkn gak shw was @ibsnje. S`nk @n

saim, ^kjnss a craik he w`nat eajjs ikth t`n nart` akm mins, it

rnbaiks ajhkn< fut ie it mins, it fnars bug` eruit, @n was spnalikc

he @ibsnje, tàt ik @is mnat` baky wijj rngnivn jien ntnrkaj (Oh`k

16?6=). @is jien was fut a sbajj snnm, shwk ik tnars fut rnapnm ik

rnohigikc (Tsa 165?>).

Ie yhu wis` th jnark bhrn afhut Whwikc akm Vnapikc, I whujm

nkghuracn yhu th rnam t`n fhhl he t`n sabn titjn fy M. J. Bhhmy.


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Gàptnr >

Nic`ty Mhjjars

]`nrn was a rnashk t`n Jhrm startnm th tnag` by wien akm I afhut

t`n spirituaj prikgipjn he Whwikc akm Vnapikc ik 644>. Whvnrnickjy,

@n lknw tàt wn whujm knnm it vnry shhk.

Whwikc akm rnapikc was kht ak hptihk ehr us aetnr wn

rnturknm th Wikcaphrn. Sn wnrn mhwk th hur jast ghupjn he

t`husakm mhjjars, akm hur bhkt`jy nxpnksns was t`rnn tibns tàt.

Sn startnm th shw ikth chhm crhukm? bikistrins tàt wnrn mhikc

chhm whrl akm fnarikc jastikc eruit. Akm fngausn wn shwnm ikth

t`nsn bikistrins, t`nir eruit was hur eruit thh.Sn ajsh shwnm ikth ikmivimuajs. Wpngieigajjy, wn shwnm

ikth a Wikcaphrnak bissihkary eabijy ik Gìka w`h wnrn

supphrtnm fy a bnca-gùrg` ik Wikcaphrn, akm t`nk t`ny wnrn kht.

Sn shwnm th t`n tukn he a enw ùkmrnm mhjjars bhkt`jy. ]`n

tnbptatihk th put Wnje fnehrn ht`nrs was strhkc ajj t`n tibn, fut wn

suggnnmnm ik hvnrghbikc it fy t`n cragn he Chm. Sn shwnm nvnk

t`huc` t`nrn wnrn tibns wn mim kht àvn nkhuc` ehr hursnjvns. Ie

wn fnjinvnm tàt Whwikc akm Vnapikc is a spirituaj prikgipjn, wn

àm th s`hw it fy hur agtihks< kht fy hur whrms hkjy.Nvnry bhkt`, wit`hut eaij akm jiln gjhglwhrl, wn rnapnm a

àrvnst prhphrtihkaj th wàt wn àm shwk ik t`n prnvihus bhkt`. It

waskt a tìrty, hr sixty, hr a ùkmrnm ehjm àrvnst< it was tnk tibns

wàt wn àm shwk, a biragjn khknt`njnss. Ehr t`n knxt t`rnn ynars,

tìs was t`n way ajj hur knnms wnrn bnt.

May aetnr may, t`n Jhrm tnstnm us th snn ie wn trujy

fnjinvnm @is Shrm. Bhkt` aetnr bhkt`, wn ehukm @is Shrm th fn


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trun akm trustwhrt`y. Fut oust th fn surn, Chm tnstnm us hkn bhrn

tibn. ]ìs tibn ik a fic way.

]`nrn was a tibn ik hur ohurkny w`nk wn wnrn sgrapikc t`n

fhtthb he t`n farrnj. Hur fakl agghukt was nbpty (as it às fnnk

ehr a wìjn khw), akm aetnr cat`nrikc ajj t`n gàkcn wn ghujm mic

hut he hur phglnts, wn hkjy àm nic`ty mhjjars jnet.

Tausn ehr a bhbnkt akm asl yhursnje Sàt whujm I àvn

mhkn ik tìs situatihk8 Unry katurajjy, wn whujm tìkl he ways th

strntg` nvnry mhjjar akm nvnry gnkt. Sn bic`t nvnk fncik th

mistikcuis` fntwnnk knnms akm wakts, kngnssitins akm juxury, akm

spnkm hkjy hk wàt is knnmnm. Ik tnrbs he ehhm, wn whujm àvn thfn ghktnkm wit` àwlnr ehhm akm lhpi-h, ikstnam he BgMhkajms

akm Wtarfugls. Mnspnratn tibns gajj ehr mnspnratn bnasurns. Whbn

bic`t fnc, fhrrhw, hr pray. Sn, hk t`n ht`nr àkm, mngimnm th shw.

Ehr us, a snnm is khtìkc jnss tàt eiety mhjjars. Wh, wn

shwnm eiety he t`n nic`ty mhjjars wn àm ikth a G`ristiak bikistry.

Khw tàt wnvn chkn erhb t`n eryikc pak akm ikth t`n eirn, wn

ghujm hkjy wait akm snn t`n sajvatihk he t`n Jhrm.

Sàt àppnknm th us hvnr t`n knxt snvnk mays was

khtìkc s`hrt he a biragjn. Ik eagt, I whujm say tàt wn àm a snrins

he biragjns tàt wnnl.

Sn nxpnrinkgnm eirstàkm Eirst Likcs 13, w`nk Chm snkt

ravnks th ennm @is prhp`nt Njioa`. May aetnr may, erinkms whujm gajj

hk us nit`nr th visit hr th ikvitn us th a bnaj. S`nknvnr shbnhkn

visitnm us, wn ajbhst ajways nkm up fnikc trnatnm th a bnaj ik a

rnstaurakt. Wikgn wn àm thjm kh hkn afhut hur gurrnkt akm mirn

situatihk, t`nsn wnrn kht agts he pity hr ghbpassihk. ]`ny wnrn t`n

agts he Chm w`h bamn ajj tìkcs whrl thcnt`nr ehr hur chhm.Ajt`huc` wn startnm t`n wnnl wit` hkjy tìrty mhjjars, wn

nkmnm t`n wnnl wit` tìrty-eivn.

Fjnssnm fn t`n JHVM, ehr `n às whkmrhusjy s`hwk ìs

stnameast jhvn th bn w`nk I was ik a fnsincnm gity. (Tsajb 71?61)


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Fifjigaj Fumcntikc

]`n Fifjn is a vnry pragtigaj fhhl. Ie wn whujm hkjy talntibn th rnam akm stumy it, akm pray th t`n @hjy Wpirit th civn us

rnvnjatihk, wn whujm fn afjn th fnkneit bug` erhb it. Fy t`n @hjy

Wpirit, I saw t`n bhmnj ehr Fifjigaj Fumcntikc?

@n w`h suppjins snnm th t`n shwnr akm frnam ehr ehhm wijj

suppjy akm bujtipjy yhur snnm ehr shwikc akm ikgrnasn t`n

àrvnst he yhur ric`tnhusknss. (6 Ghr 9?14)

I jnarknm th snn nvnrytìkc I rngnivn as ghbprisikc twh phrtihks?

snnm akm frnam. Frnam is ehr ehhm, akm snnm is ehr shwikc.^sikc t`n nxabpjn I usnm narjinr he ak appjn, ie yhu atn t`n appjn

wit` its snnms yhu whujm kht àvn aky appjns th nat aetnr tàt. Fut

ie yhu atn t`n appjn akm shwnm its snnms, yhu whujm àvn kht oust

hkn hr twh appjns ik t`n euturn< yhu whujm àvn pjnkty. Ik t`n

sabn way, ie yhu spnkm ajj tàt yhu àvn thmay yhu wijj nkm up

wit` khtìkc thbhrrhw. Fut ie yhu shw shbntìkc thmay, nvnk a

snnm, yhu wijj àvn a àrvnst ik mun snashk.

I bust gjariey tàt ikvnstbnkts, sug` as ik sthgls akm sug`, is

kht Whwikc. Ik ikvnstikc, t`n bhkny yhu ikvnst rnbaiks yhurs< yhu

àvn kht civnk it away, it às bnrnjy fnnk rn-ajjhgatnm. ]h shw,

yhu bust gast yhur frnam uphk t`n watnr (Nggj 11?1). Akm w`nk

yhu mh, yhu wijj eikm it aetnr baky mays. ]àts a prhbisn.

Ajt`huc` wn lknw tàt ikvnstikc was kht t`n sabn as

Whwikc, wn, ambitnmjy, mim maffjn shbn wit` ikvnstbnkts murikc

tìs snashk. Sn wnrn kht, `hwnvnr, jhhlikc ehr it, fut shbn`hw it

ehukm us.

]`rhuc` a erinkm, wn jnarknm afhut a gnrtaik ikvnstbnkt(wìg` I wijj kht kabn `nrn) tàt was a surn tìkc. (I ab

ghkvikgnm tàt t`nrn arn kh sug` tìkc as a surn tìkc ik

ikvnstbnkts.) ]ìs ikvnstbnkt prhbisns a crnat mivimnk< phtnktiajjy

turkikc us ikth bijjihkairns. It was thh chhm th fn trun, ynt wn

fnjinvnm akm fhuc`t (ikth) it. Sn enjt tàt hur `narts wnrn ik t`n

ric`t pjagns fngausn wn wnrn kht chikc th spnkm ajj he t`n bijjihks

hk hursnjvns. Sn àm a visihk he t`n tìkcs wn ghujm mh ehr t`n

saln he Chms likcmhb< `hw wn whujm fn a fjnssikc th sh baky

ieyhuspnkmajjtàtyhu`

avnthmayyhuwijj

nkmupwit`khtìk

cthbhrrhw.

Futieyhushw

shbntìkcthmay,

nvnkas

nnm,yhuwijjàvnaàrvnstikmunsnashk.


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pnhpjn. He ghursn, wn thh wijj fn fjnssnm. ]`n mays he jagl akm

wakt wijj fn ik t`n past ehr us. ]h shbn mncrnn, wn enjt wn

mnsnrvnm it< aetnr ajj wnvn civnk hur jivns (sh ear) th t`n snrvign heChm akm sueenrnm.

Mays turknm ikth bhkt`s, akm t`n bhkt`s rhjjnm ikth

ynars. Nvnrymay wn whujm pray, prhgjaib, akm mngjarn ]ìs is t`n

may wn wijj rngnivn hur ik`nritakgn. Jhhlikc fagl, I gak jauc` at

hursnjvns. Sn wnrn `hpneuj< wn wnrn mnspnratn< akm wn wnrn

mnjusihkaj. Eikajjy, wn àm th nbfragn t`n eagt tàt tìs was kht

chikc th fn. Sn wnrn kht chikc th fn rig`. ]`n Sijmnrknss Ohurkny

ghktikuns ehr us.

Ik gasn yhu arn tìklikc tàt yhu àvn kht fnnk gajjnm th jivn fy

eait` t`n way baky ht`nrs akm I arn mhikc, tìkl acaik. ]`n oust

sàjj jivn fy eait` akm wit`hut eait` it is ibphssifjn th pjnasn

Chm. Tjnasn mh kht tìkl tàt yhu mh kht knnm th jivn fy eait`

fngausn yhu àvn a ohf< ie yhu gakkht jivn fy eait` wità ohf, `hw

wijj yhu jivn fy eait` wit`huta ohf w`nk Chm gajjs8 ]ìs, ik by

ùbfjn hpikihk, is wàt prnvnkts baky G`ristiaks ik Wikcaphrn

(akm arhukm t`n whrjm) erhb ehjjhwikc akm eujeijjikc t`nir Chm-

civnk mnstikins.


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Gàptnr 5

Bak sàjj kht jivn fy frnam ajhkn

S`nrn ik t`n Fifjn gak t`n whrms Bak sàjj kht jivn fy frnam

ajhkn, fut fy nvnry whrm tàt ghbns erhb t`n bhut` he Chm fn

ehukm8 Ie yhu akswnrnm tàt t`ny wnrn sphlnk fy Onsus murikc @is

]nbptatihk ik t`n wijmnrknss (as rnghrmnm fy Batt`nw), yhu wijj

fn ric`t. Fut mim yhu lkhw tàt Onsus was agtuajjy quhtikc erhb

t`n Hjm ]nstabnkt8 ]`n fhhl he Mnutnrhkhby, gàptnr 0 akm

vnrsn 7, th fn prngisn.

]`n ghktnxt is afhut Isranjs Sijmnrknss Ohurkny tàt

jastnm a thtaj he ehrty ynars. Akm, as I àvn saim prnvihusjy, Chmspurphsn ehr tìs ohurkny was th tnst akm snn wàt was ik t`nir

`narts< th lkhw ie t`ny whujm lnnp @is ghbbakmbnkts hr kht. Hr

wijj t`ny ghktikun th fn garkaj snttikc t`nir bikm hk t`n ejns` akm

kht t`n Shrm he Chm.

Fifjigaj @isthry prhvns tàt t`n Isranjitns ghbpjntnjy

bissnm t`n phikt he t`n ohurkny. ]`ny eaijnm th jnark t`n bhst

ibphrtakt jnsshk? th trust akm hfny. Ikstnam, t`ny ghbpjaiknm,

burburnm akm crubfjnm ikgnstaktjy.

It is nasy th gritigizn t`n Isranjitns w`h wnrn ik t`nwijmnrknss, ak ukikàfitafjn pjagn, w`nk yhu arn àfitatikc ik

rnjativn ghbehrt akm afukmakgn. Tut yhursnje ik t`nir s`hns ehr a

bhbnkt akm whkmnr ie yhu wijj kht rnagt ik t`n sabn way t`ny mim.

Ik t`n wijmnrknss, yhu arn fnikc surrhukmnm fy khtìkc-knss.

Khtìkc crhws ik t`n wijmnrknss. Khtìkc survivns t`nrn. ]`nrn arn

kh bajjs, kh giknbas, kh supnrbarlnts w`nrn yhu gak cnt yhur

eavhritn ehhm stuees. Eurt`nrbhrn, t`nrn is khtìkc th mh.


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Sn gakkht ghbpjntnjy fjabn t`nb ehr rnbikisgikc afhut

t`n chhm jien t`ny usnm th àvn? t`n eis`, t`n gugubfnrs, t`n

bnjhks, t`n jnnls, t`n hkihks, akm t`n carjig, wìg` t`ny atn ernnjyik Ncypt. ]`hsn w`h arn ernqunkt travnjnrs ukmnrstakm wàt it is

jiln th biss t`n jhgaj ehhm w`nk ik a ehrnick jakm. Jilnwisn, aetnr

ehur ùkmrnm ynars ik Ncypt, t`n Isranjitns àm crhwk aggusthb th

gnrtaik ehhms. Agquirikc a knw tastn ehr bakka, ehr nxabpjn

whujm taln shbn tibn.

]h baln battnrs whrsn, t`ny mim kht g`hhsn th fn ik t`n

wijmnrknss< t`ny wnrn jnm t`nrn fy Bhsns (w`h was sibpjy

hfnyikc Chms ikstrugtihks).

Sn (by wien akm I) mim kht cnt th g`hhsn t`n tibikc hrt`n muratihk he hur Sijmnrknss Ohurkny. It was g`hsnk shvnrnickjy

fy Chm. I mim whkmnr w`y @n hkjy jnm us ikth t`n Sijmnrknss at

tìs stacn he hur jivns< partigujarjy w`nk wnvn fnnk G`ristiaks ehr

hvnr 74 ynars. ]`n akswnr? wn whujm kht àvn fnnk afjn th survivn

it. It whujm àvn mnstrhynm hur eait`, bug` jiln wàt àppnknm th

t`n eirst cnknratihk he Isranjitns. Sn knnmnm th lkhw Chm th shbn

nxtnkt fnehrn wn ghujm fn tnstnm ik sug` iktnksn mncrnn. Fut

àvikc chkn t`rhuc` it, wn arn cjam Chm jnm us t`nrn akm t`rhuc`

it. Sn ìc`jy rnghbbnkm it th nvnry G`ristiak.

Murikc hur Sijmnrknss Ohurkny, wn ehukm hursnjvns

aslikc qunstihks sug` as Sàt wijj wn nat8 Sàt wijj wn

mrikl8 akm Sàt wijj wn wnar8 Hur maijy praynr was ]`n

Jhrms Traynr. S`nk wn gabn th t`n part? Civn us tìs may hur

maijy frnam, wn praynm nvnk jhumnr. Sn trujy thhl hkn may at a

tibn. Sn jnarknm, as Onsus saim, th kht fn akxihus afhut thbhrrhw

ehr thbhrrhw wijj fn akxihus ehr itsnje. Ikmnnm, pujjikc t`rhuc`

nag` may was àrm nkhuc` ehr us.Ajt`huc` wn mim kht àvn a cravn jagl he ehhm, wn mim

kht àvn pjnkty. Fut wàt rnajjy sustaiknm us was t`n Shrm he

Chm. ]`rhuc` it ajj Chm strnkct`nknm us wit` baky assurakgns akm

ikstrugtihks. Tsajb 73 was hur akg`hr t`rhuc`hut tìs pnrihm. Jnt

bn sàrn a enw vnrsns erhb tìs whkmnreuj Tsajb tàt àvn rnajjy

bikistnrnm th us. I trust t`ny wijj bikistnr th yhu as wnjj.


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]rust ik On`hva`, akm mh chhm< Mwnjj ik t`n jakm, akm

ennm hk ìs eaitèujknss. Mnjic`t t`ysnje ajsh ik On`hva`< Akm `n

wijj civn t`nn t`n mnsirns he t`y `nart. Ghbbit t`y way ukthOn`hva`< ]rust ajsh ik ìb, akm `n wijj frikc it th pass. (vnrsn 7->)

Gnasn erhb akcnr, akm ehrsaln wrat`? Ernt kht t`ysnje, it

tnkmnt` hkjy th nvij-mhikc. (vnrsn 0)

Fnttnr is a jittjn tàt t`n ric`tnhus àt` tàk t`n

afukmakgn he baky wiglnm. (vnrsn 15)

]`ny sàjj kht fn put th sàbn ik t`n tibn he nvij< Akm ik

t`n mays he eabikn t`ny sàjj fn satiseinm. (vnrsn 19)

I àvn fnnk yhukc, akm khw ab hjm< Ynt àvn I kht snnk

t`n ric`tnhus ehrsalnk, Khr ìs snnm fnccikc frnam. (vnrsn 6>)

Unrsn 6> às spngiaj bnakikc th us fngausn it is afhut hur

gìjmrnk, akm wn wnrn vnry ghkgnrknm afhut hur gìjmrnk, tàt t`ny

whujm fn sueenrikc hk hur agghukt.

Ghbikc fagl th t`n ]nbptatihk he Onsus, Watak waskt gàjjnkcikc

Onsus minity Ie yhu trujy arn t`n Whk he Chm, mh tìs as bug`

as `n was tnbptikc Onsus th baln usn he @is mnity Wikgn yhu arn

t`n Whk he Chm turk t`nsn sthkns ikth frnam akm yhu wijj kht fn

ùkcry akybhrn. ]`rhuc`hut hur Sijmnrknss Ohurkny, wn wnrn

tnbptnm th mh wàtnvnr was ik hur phwnr th bnnt hur hwk knnms,

th savn hursnjvns akm nkm tìs sueenrikc. Tut sibpjy, wn wnrn

tnbptnm th cnt a ohf th nark a stnamy, afnit sbajj, ikghbn. ]àkls

th tìs sthry afhut Onsus tnbptatihk, wn jnarknm tàt t`nrn was

shbntìkc bhrn ibphrtakt tàk cratieyikc hur ùkcnr. It was th

ukmnrstakm akm mh Chms Sijj.

Onsus mim kht nkm up ik t`n wijmnrknss fy aggimnkt. @n mimkht jhsn ìs way aetnr jnavikc t`n Ohrmak. It was t`n @hjy Wpirit

w`h jnm @ib t`nrn. Erhb tìs, Onsus ukmnrsthhm tàt @n was t`nrn

ehr a purphsn. Nvnk ìs ùkcnr was purphsneuj. Akm as jhkc as

Chms purphsn àm kht fnnk eujeijjnm, Onsus was wijjikc th

trustikcjy sueenr. ]h afhrt khw whujm bnak s`hrt-girguitikc Chms

pjak akm phtnktiajjy civikc Watak t`n vigthry `n sh waktnm t`huc`

ukmnsnrvnm.

]àklsthtìssthryafhu

tOnsustnbptatihk

,wnjnarknmtàtt

`nrnwasshbntìkcbhrn

ibphrtakttàkcratieyikc

hurùkcnr.Itwas

thukmnrstakmakm

mhChmsSijj.


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As ehr by wien akm I, wn lknw tàt hur Sijmnrknss

Ohurkny was part he Chms Sijj ehr us. Sn mim kht g`hhsn th

ukmnrch it, fut wn wnrn g`hsnk< tàt itsnje was crnat privijncn. Akmuktij Chm says It is hvnr, wn wnrn prnparnm th pnrsnvnrn akm

ennm hk @is eaitèujknss. Hur spirituaj crhwt` murikc tìs pnrihm

was bhrn tàk ik t`n twnkty-eivn ynars prihr th tìs put thcnt`nr.

At t`n nkm he it, I àvn th acrnn wit` t`n Tsajbist w`h saim, By

sueenrikc was chhm ehr bn, ehr it tauc`t bn th pay attnktihk th yhur

mngrnns (Tsajb 119?31).


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Gàptnr 3

Ghksimnr t`n Firms akm Jijins

I whujm fn jyikc th yhu ie I saim tàt jnarkikc th jivn fy eait` is

nasy. It iskt.

It iskt nasy fngausn it chns acaikst nvnry eifrn he yhur

fnikc akm nvnrytìkc tàt yhu fnjinvn ik, sug` as? khtìkc ghbns

erhb khtìkc< tàt khtìkc is ernn ik tìs whrjm< akm t`hsn w`h

wis` th nat bust whrl. ]h jivn fy eait`, hkn ajbhst às th pus` ajj

t`nsn asimn akm ernn-eajj ikth t`n arbs he Chm. Ie yhu tìkl fukcnn-

oubpikc is sgary, wait tijj yhu try jivikc fy eait`.

Akm as ie fattjikc acaikst hur bikms is kht àrm nkhuc`,pnhpjn arhukm yhu gak fn ghuktnm hk th gast mhufts hk yhu, akm

nvnk t`rhw sthkns at yhu. Fnjinvn bn, wn àm hur eair sàrn he

tìs. ]`nrn wnrn t`hsn w`h ambirnm hur eait`, t`nk t`nrn wnrn

t`hsn w`h t`huc`t wn wnrn prnsubptuhus akm jazy.

S`nk wn startnm hk hur Sijmnrknss Ohurkny akm was

jnarkikc th jivn fy eait`, wn mim kht àvn past nxpnrinkgns th eajj

fagl uphk. Ie wn àm snnk Chm prhvimn ehr us eirstàkm, it whujm

àvn `njpnm us th trust @ib acaik. @nkgn, t`n nxpnrinkgn he Chm is

as ibphrtakt as t`n lkhwjnmcn he @ib.Hkn he t`n rnashks t`n Isranjitns turknm th t`n whrsìp he

Faaj, t`n chm he t`n àrvnst, was fngausn t`ny àm kht snnk Chm

pnrehrb whkmnrs ik tìs arna. Faaj, hk t`n ht`nr àkm, was lkhwk

th fn afjn th aeengt t`n àrvnst. It whujm fn àkmy, sh th spnal, th

àvn ìb hk yhur simn.

]`huc` wn startnm hur ohurkny wit` àrmjy aky

nxpnrinkgn he Chm ik prhvimikc ehr hur maijy knnms, wn àm pjnkty


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he t`nb fy t`n nkm he t`n ohurkny. Akm wn àvn fnnk nxtrnbnjy

fjnssnm fngausn he it. (Gak yhu tnjj8)

It waskt wit`hut a prign. ]`n prign was sueenrikc akmàrmsìps. Maijy wn struccjnm wit` mhuft akm enar< fut tàt mrhvn

us th crhw mnnp ik Chms Shrm. Sn nkvinm hur erinkms w`h ghujm

aeehrm shbn juxury< fut tàt tauc`t us th mnjic`t ik t`n Jhrm.

]h fn `hknst, by wien struccjnm bhrn tàk I mim. @nr

batnrkaj ikstikgts bamn `nr whrry ghkstaktjy afhut t`n eabijy akm,

ik partigujar, t`n gìjmrnk. It whujm fn wrhkc th say tàt I waskt

ghkgnrknm at ajj< I was vnry ghkgnrknm ikmnnm. Fut lkhwikc tàt

tìs snashk was part he Chms Sijj ehr us, I was assurnm tàt @n

was watgìkc hvnr t`nb as ie t`ny wnrn @is hwk. Ik trut`, Chmmhns kht àvn aky crakmgìjmrnk. By gìjmrnk arn t`n gìjmrnk he

Chm thh.

]`n sueenrikc akm àrmsìp wn àm th nkmurn was khtìkc

ghbparnm th t`n surpassikc whrt` he t`n iktibatn lkhwjnmcn he

Chm wnvn caiknm ik t`n prhgnss. Ik t`n nkm, wn àm th say tàt it

was ajj whrt`wìjn.

I jnarknm tàt eait` akm enar arn agtuajjy t`n sabn tìkcs. ]`ny

nxpnkm hur nknrcins akm it talns as bug` nknrcy th jivn fy eait` as

it mhns th jivn ik enar. Wh t`n g`hign is rnajjy hurs? `hw wn whujm

rat`nr jivn. Ehr bn, I g`hsn th jivn fy eait`. Ik balikc tàt

mngisihk, enar akm mhuft mh kht authbatigajjy vaphurisn ikth tìk

air. ]`ny àm th fn ghkerhktnm akm hvnrghbn. Akm t`n way th

hvnrghbn t`nb is th lnnp yhur nyns hk t`n Jhrm.

Tntnr mim kht sikl ikth t`n watnr nvnk t`huc` t`n wavns

wnrn ìc` arhukm ìb. ]àt was fngausn ìs nyns wnrn hk ìs

Jhrm. Fut t`n bhbnkt tàt `n fncak th khtign t`n wavns akm t`nwikm, `n fncak th sikl. ]ìs is t`n pigturn wn ajj bust àvn ik hur

bikms ie wn wis` th wajl fy eait`.

]h wajl fy eait`, yhu gakkht ajjhw yhursnje th fn bhvn

fy wàt yhusnn, wàt yhu `nar, wàt yhuennjhr tìkl. Yhu bust

hkjy fn bhvnm fy t`n Shrm he Chm. Ie Chm saim it (akm I fnjinvn

it), t`nk tàt snttjns it!

ittaln

sasbug`nknrcythjivnfyeaitàsit

mhnsthjivnikenar.


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]`nrn wnrn tibns murikc hur Sijmnrknss Ohurkny tàt wn

qunstihknm ie Chm whujm rnajjy bnnt ajj hur knnms, nspngiajjy w`nk

wn arn kht mhikc akytìkc th `njp hursnjvns. Nvnk t`huc` t`nrn iskh sug` vnrsn ik t`n Fifjn tàt says Chm hkjy `njps t`hsn w`h

`njps t`nbsnjvns, baky G`ristiaks snnb th tìkl (tàt Chm

tìkls) tàt way.

]`n Fifjn tnjjs us tàt Chm `njps t`hsn w`h arn `njpjnss,

w`h gakkht `njp t`nbsnjvns. Akm w`nk t`n `njpjnss apprhag` t`n

t`rhkn he cragn, t`ny wijj rngnivn bnrgy akm eikm cragn th `njp

ik tibn he knnm (@nfrnws =?15).

Hkn tibn, w`nk I was snrihusjy mhuftikc ie wn wnrn

mhikc t`n ric`t tìkc, I aslnm Chm? Sijj Yhu rnajjy ennm bn (akmby eabijy) nvnk ie I mh khtìkc8

Akm t`n Jhrm akswnrnm Yns!

]`nk @n phiktnm bn th t`n passacn he Wgripturn ik

Batt`nw 5 akm vnrsn 65, w`nrn Onsus saim?

Jhhl at t`n firms he t`n air? t`ny knit`nr shw khr rnap

khr cat`nr ikth farks, akm ynt yhur `navnkjy Eat`nr ennms t`nb.

Arn yhu kht he bhrn vajun tàk t`ny8

I ab whrt` bhrn th t`n Eat`nr tàk hkn he t`nsn firms (hr ajj he

t`nb put thcnt`nr). Ie @n is wijjikc th ennm t`nb may aetnr may,

nvnk w`nk t`ny knit`nr thij khr spik, khr cat`nr ikth farks, t`nk

@n wijj surnjy ennm bn ajsh. ]àt was t`n bnssacn Chm waktnm bn

th rngnivn.

A ghupjn he vnrsns jatnr, Onsus saim?

Akm w`y arn yhu akxihus afhut gjhtìkc8 Ghksimnr t`n

jijins he t`n einjm, `hw t`ny crhw? t`ny knit`nr thij khr spik, ynt I

tnjj yhu, nvnk Whjhbhk ik ajj ìs cjhry was kht arraynm jiln hkn het`nsn.

Appjyikc t`n sabn jhcig as fnehrn? ie Chm mrnssns t`n

crass he t`n einjm, wìg` is ajivn ehr hkjy a s`hrt wìjn, wijj `n kht

bug` bhrn gjht`n bn8

Akm t`n akswnr às th fn a rnshukmikc, Yns!


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Ik spitn he ajj t`nsn assurakgns, I stijj wnkt a`nam th try th

`njp bysnje fy rncistnrikc as a tuthr wit` a ]uitihk Gnktnr. I mim

kht hkjy rncistnr wit` hkn tuitihk gnktnr, fut t`rnn.It is saim tàt S`nk Chm gjhsns a mhhr, @n hpnks a

wikmhw. By nxpnrinkgn was hk t`n ghktrary. I saw tàt S`nk

Chm gjhsns a mhhr, @n ajsh gjhsns t`n wikmhws. ]`n tìkc is, I mim

kht rngnivn aky gajjs hr nbaijs erhb aky he t`nsn gnktnrs.

Fut as shhk as t`n ohurkny àm nkmnm, t`n gajjs startnm

ghbikc. Fy t`nk, Chm àm ajrnamy hpnknm t`n way ehr bn th fn

caikeujjy nbpjhynm akm bnakikceujjy nkcacnm.


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Gàptnr 0

Misgipjnm fy G`rist

Nvnryhkn is tajlikc afhut Misgipjnsìp, sh bug` sh tàt

t`n whrm às fnghbn gjig`. It às ghbn th fn sykhkybhus wit`

prhcrabs akm ghursns. Fut misgipjnsìp is akytìkc fut tàt.

I ennj tàt I ab quajieinm th spnal hk tìs sufongt sikgn I

àm fnnk balikc misgipjns sikgn I was ghkvnrtnm.

At acn 1=, I was fhrk acaik. I was ik ak njitn G`ristiak

sg`hhj t`nk, akm a gjassbatn he bikn aslnm ie I whujm mh Fifjn

Wtumy wit` ìb. @n was kh hrmikary cuy< `n was t`n bhst

khthrihus stumnkt ik t`n w`hjn sg`hhj. Knarjy nvnrymay `n whujmfn gajjnm th t`n Trikgipajs heeign ehr hkn heenksn hr akht`nr.

I àm hkjy ghbn th lkhw t`n Jhrm ehr t`rnn bhkt`s fut

tàt mim kht sthp bn erhb acrnnikc th ìs rnqunst. Sn bnt

nvnrymay aetnr sg`hhj ehr twh ynars. I sibpjy tauc`t ìb

nvnrytìkc I lknw (wìg` waskt bug`). Sàts bhrn, I mimkt

lkhw tàt wàt I was mhikc was gajjnm Misgipjnsìp. I mimkt lkhw

sug` a tnrb nvnk nxistnm uktij bug` jatnr.

I, thh, was fnikc misgipjnm. Ik eagt, I àm a enw chhm

spirituaj jnamnrs w`h jhvnm akm tauc`t bn wnjj. I bust civn t`nbgrnmit ehr w`h Ivn fnghbn thmay.

Sàt Ivn hfsnrvnm is tàt w`nknvnr Misgipjnsìp is fnikc

misgussnm, t`n misgussihk mhns kht mnpart erhb t`n `hrizhktaj

mibnksihk? a bak misgipjikc akht`nr. As ibphrtakt as it is hkjy

misgipjns gak baln misgipjns t`nrn is akht`nr mibnksihk th

Misgipjnsìp tàt, Ib aeraim, wnvn bissnm hut ajthcnt`nr. ]àt he,

fnikc misgipjnm fy Chm t`n Eat`nr.


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Tauj, ik Vhbaks 0?69, says tàt Chm às prn-mnstiknm us

th fn ghkehrbnm th t`n ibacn he @is Whk. Ik s`hrt, @n mnsirns tàt

wn ajj fnghbn jiln G`rist (hr G`rist-jiln). Akm @n lkhws tàt itwhujm kht àppnk katurajjy hk its hwk wit`hut @is ikvhjvnbnkt.

Ikvhjvnbnkt8 ]àts ric`t. Mhkt tìkl tàt oust fngausn

Chm prn-mnstiknm shbntìkc it wijj ghbpjntnjy ghbn th pass. It is

sibijar th a eat`nr w`hsn mnsirn ehr ìs shk is th fn a mhgthr. Fut

t`n shk bic`t àvn mieenrnkt imnas afhut wàt `n wakts th fnghbn

w`nk `n crhws up. Tnrsistnktjy, t`n eat`nr wijj try th pnrsuamn ìs

shk fy balikc ìb awarn he ajj t`n fnkneits he t`n bnmigaj

prhenssihk (afhut t`n jivns `n gak savn, tàt is). Ie `n is suggnsseuj,

ìs shk wijj g`hhsn th fn a mhgthr.Ik t`n sabn way, Chm is ghkstaktjy whhikc akm jurikc us

thwarms @is chaj ehr us. Ik Taujs whrms? It is Chm w`h whrls ik

yhu, fht` th wijj akm th whrl ehr ìs chhm pjnasurn (Tìjippiaks

6?17).

Chm is hur Eat`nr, hur `navnkjy Eat`nr. Akm jiln ajj

eat`nrs, @n às talnk it uphk @ibsnje th tnag` akm garn ehr t`hsn

w`h arn @is. S`nrn kngnssary, @n wijj nvnk misgipjikn akm pukis`.

Ik ht`nr whrms, @n is hur Gìne Misgipjn-balnr.

]ìs is a rnernsìkc rnvnjatihk. Ehr ajj t`n wìjn,

G`ristiaks àvn hkjy lkhwk akht`nr pnrshk th fn hur misgipjn-

balnr. ]ìs is kht wrhkc< oust ikghbpjntn. A bak bic`t fn

misigpjikc akht`nr bak. Fut t`nrn ghbns a tibn w`nk t`n misgipjn-

balnr bust rnjnasn ìs misgipjn fagl th G`rist, t`n Gìne

Misgipjn-balnr. Ie t`n misgipjn-balnr `hjms hk th ìs misgipjn, `n

whujm hkjy suggnnm ik t`n nkm ik balikc t`n misigpjn bhrn jiln

ìbsnje, akm kht G`rist. ]ìs whujm fn a eaijurn, nvnk a misastnr.

Oust fnehrn Onsus gabn ikth t`n pigturn, Oh`ks (t`nFaptist) bikistry was crhwikc. @n àm baky ehjjhwnrs. Fut ajj t`n

wìjn, Oh`k was bikmeuj he ìs rhjn? tàt `n was bnrnjy t`n vhign

gryikc ik t`n wijmnrknss tàt prnparns t`n way he t`n Jhrm. @n

rnamijy ambits tàt aetnr ìb wijj ghbn hkn w`h is bic`tinr< t`n

strap he w`hsn sakmajs I ab kht whrt`y th sthhp mhwk akm uktin

(Barl 1?3).

]`nk w`nk Onsus eikajjy ghbns ikth t`n pigturn akm fnciks

@is bikistry, baky he Oh`ks misgipjns jnet ìb th ehjjhw Onsus. As

Chmis

hurEat`nr,hur`navnkjyEat`nr.Akm

jilnajjeat`nrs,

@n

àstalnkituphk@ibsnjeth

tnagàkmgarnehrt`hsnw`harn@is.


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/>

tìs was àppnkikc, Oh`k was aslnm? Vaffi, `n w`h was wit` yhu

agrhss t`n Ohrmak, th w`hb yhu fhrn witknssjhhl, `n is

faptizikc, akm ajj arn chikc th ìb. ]h tìs, `n rnpjinm,A pnrshk gakkht rngnivn nvnk hkn tìkc ukjnss it is civnk

ìb erhb `navnk.

Yhu yhursnjvns fnar bn witknss, tàt I saim, I ab kht t`n

G`rist, fut I àvn fnnk snkt fnehrn ìb.

]`n hkn w`h às t`n frimn is t`n frimncrhhb. ]`n erinkm

he t`n frimncrhhb, w`h stakms akm `nars ìb, rnohigns crnatjy at

t`n frimncrhhb's vhign. ]`nrnehrn tìs ohy he bikn is khw

ghbpjntn.

@n bust ikgrnasn, fut I bust mngrnasn. (Oh`k 7?60-74)

Sàt a bak. Kh whkmnr Onsus jatnr `hkhrs Oh`k wit`

t`nsn whrms? I tnjj yhu, abhkc t`hsn fhrk he whbnk t`nrn is kh

hkn crnatnr tàk Oh`k" (Juln 3?60).

I àvn ghbn th rnajizn tàt kht hkjy mhns Chm wakt th

pnrshkajjy tnag` akm traik us, @n ajsh às a gusthbisnm

Misgipjnsìp Gurrigujub ehr nag` hkn he @is gìjmrnk. ]àts

fngausn nvnry gìjm is mieenrnkt erhb t`n ht`nr. ]`n Gùrg`,

`hwnvnr, mun th t`n jagl he tibn akm t`n prnssurn th prhmugn

rnsujts, às mnvnjhpnm a hkn-sizn-eits-ajj typn he Misgipjnsìp

Gurrigujub, wìg` eajjs s`hrt ik sh baky ways.

]h cnt a snksn he wàt Chms Misgipjnsìp Gurrigujub is

jiln, oust jhhl at `hw Onsus tauc`t akm traiknm t`n ]wnjvn. Fn

garneuj, `hwnvnr, kht th baln a prhcrab hut he it. ]`n bhbnkt

yhu try th mh tàt, yhuvn bissnm t`n phikt. ]`n way Onsus

kurturnm @is misgipjns is mykabig akm jivikc. Trhcrabs, hk t`n

ht`nr àkm, arn ricim akm mnam.Vhbaks 0?1= statns tàt Ajj w`h arn jnm fy t`n Wpirit arn

t`n shks he Chm. ]ìs ibpjins tàt ehr a misgipjnsìp th prhmugn

shks, it bust fn jnm fy t`n Wpirit, kht fy a prn-snt pjak.

S`nk I fngabn a fnjinvnr he G`rist at t`n acn he 1=, I was

privijncnm th fn misgipjnm fy a mnmigatnm akm garikc Kavicathr. I

ghktikunm th fn misgipjnm uktij by barriacn. ]`n likm he

misgipjnsìp I ukmnrwnkt às fnghbn rarn khwamays, nspngiajjy ik


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t`n jhgaj gùrg`. ]ìs was t`n rnashk it fngabn a gàjjnkcn th eikm

a chhm bak he Chm th `njp bn th crhw eurt`nr ik t`n Jhrm. It mim

kht cnt nasinr w`nk I fngabn a bissihkary.Ehr afhut tnk ynars, I praynm akm snarg`nm akm aslnm

varihus hkns, spirituaj ciakts ik by bikm, ie t`ny whujm fn by

bnkthr. Wamjy, nvnry sikcjn hkn he t`nb mngjiknm. ]`n ghuktjnss

akm ghktikuaj rnongtihk bamn bn whkmnr ie it was shbntìkc afhut

bn (shbntìkc fam) tàt bamn t`nb say kh. ]hmay, I ab surn

tàt tàt waskt t`n gasn.

I mimkt civn up, t`huc`. Nvnk w`nk wn àm nkmnm hur

stikt ik t`n einjm akm rnturknm th Wikcaphrn I ghktikunm th snarg`

ehr a bnkthr. Unry shhk, I t`huc`t tàt I àm ehukm hkn akm àm akhpphrtukity th asl ìb. Fut fnehrn I ghujm php t`n qunstihk, `n

saim t`n ehjjhwikc th bn? Mhkt asl bn th fn yhur bnkthr< yhu

mhkt knnm hkn fngausn Onsus is pnrshkajjy misgipjikc yhu.

@is whrms fhwjnm bn hvnr. I was cjam akm sgarnm at t`n

sabn tibn. Cjam tàt Onsus whujm wakt th misgipjn hkn sug` as I.

Wgarnm I bnak, w`h whujmkt fn sgarnm th fn pnrshkajjy

misgipjnm fy Chm @ibsnje. At t`n sabn tibn, ìs whrms ghkshjnm

bn akm nxpjaiknm t`n rnongtihks I rngnivnm. Yhu snn, t`nrn was a

rnashk I apprhag`nm t`hsn I mim th bnkthr bn. Hfvihusjy, t`ny

phssnssnm quajitins tàt I ambirnm akm mnsirnm. ]`n may tàt hkn he

t`nb acrnns th fn by bnkthr whujm fn t`n may I sthp jhhlikc at

Onsus. ]ìs was shbntìkc Chm mimkt wakt àppnk th bn. Mhkt

bisukmnrstakm, pjnasn. Ib kht acaikst Bnkthrikc< I ab oust tnjjikc

yhu wàt àppnknm th bn. ]ìs is kht a prikgipjn hr t`nhjhcy tàt I

ab nsphusikc< it is mnsgriptivn, kht prnsgriptivn.

Chm às a gusthbiznm Misgipjnsìp Gurrigujub ehr yhu akm it gakfn ghbpjntnm ik a gnrtaik pnrihm he tibn. Ehr t`n ]wnjvn, it was

ghvnrnm ik t`rnn akm a àje ynars. I fnjinvn tàt t`rnn ynars is oust

afhut t`n tibn tàt a pnrshk gak fn bamn ikth a baturn gìjm he

Chm. ]`nrn arn, `hwnvnr, baky hfstagjns tàt stakm ik t`n way.

Ibacikn tàt yhu arn tìklikc he nkrhjjikc yhursnje ikth a

mncrnn prhcrab ik a gnrtaik einjm he stumy. Fnehrn yhu arn a enw

pat`ways. Yhu gak nit`nr nkrhjj ikth a eujj-tibn prhcrab ik wìg`

yhu wijj ghbpjntn ik t`rnn ynars. Hr, ie yhu prnenr th whrl akm

Chmà

sagusthbiznmMisgipjnsìpGurrigujubehryhuakmitgakfnghbpjntnmika

gnrtaik

pnrihm

hetibn.


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stumy at t`n sabn tibn, yhu bay g`hhsn a part-tibn ghursn. ]ìs

way, yhu wijj rngnivn yhur mncrnn hkjy > th 3 ynars jatnr. ]`nk

acaik, ie yhu arn kht ik a ùrry th cnt t`n gnrtieigatn, yhu baynbfarl hk t`n prhcrab at yhur hwk pagn fy attnkmikc hkn bhmujn

at a tibn.

Chms Misgipjnsìp Gurrigujub is fnst mhkn hk a eujj-tibn

fasis, oust jiln wàt t`n ]wnjvn mim. Fut lkhwikc bhmnrk bak akm

t`nir tic`t sg`nmujns, tìs bic`t kht fn enasifjn. ]`n knxt fnst tìkc

whujm fn th mh it hk a part-tibn fasis. Fut, as it turks hut, bhst

G`ristiaks arn kht nvnk hk t`n part-tibn prhcrab. ]`ny arn, bhrn

jilnjy, attnkmikc hkn bhmujn at a tibn at t`nir hwk ghkvnkinkgn.

Kh whkmnr G`ristiaks arn talikc sh jhkc th baturn.


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Gàptnr 9

Misghvnrikc Isranj

Sitìk twh wnnls he rnturkikc th Wikcaphrn, I was ikvitnm fy aerinkm th attnkm a Fifjn gjass tauc`t fy a prhbiknkt pasthr ik t`n

gity. Erakljy, I was quitn rnjugtakt th attnkm, kht oust tìs gjass fut

aky gjass. I cunss I oust knnmnm tibn th amoust th fnikc fagl.

Wikcaphrn àm fnghbn quitn strakcn th us wit` t`n summnk ikejux

(mnjucn snnbs th fn t`n bhrn apprhpriatn whrm) he ehrnicknrs.

Whbntibns, wìjn rimikc ik t`n traiks, I whkmnr ie I was ik

Wikcaphrn at ajj. Fut, tàts oust bn.

I was ajrnamy rnjugtakt th attnkm t`n Fifjn gjass. Akm w`nk

I ehukm hut wàt t`n thpig was chikc th fn, I was amabakt kht th

ch.

]`n pasthr was chikc th fn tnagìkc hk t`n Fhhl he

Vnvnjatihk. Ik ajj by ynars as a G`ristiak, I àvn rnam akm `narm

baky tnagìkcs (hr, s`hujm I say vnrsihks) hk t`n Fhhl he

Vnvnjatihk. It snnbs tàt knarjy nvnryhkn às t`nir hwk taln hk it.

S`y whujm I wakt th `nar akht`nr baks taln hk it8

Whbn`hw, by erinkm was afjn th pnrsuamn bn th ch. Aetnr

ajj, I àm khtìkc th mh, akm khtìkc th jhsn.Wh, wn wnkt akm wn cht `hhlnm.

Sn jistnknm iktnktjy akm ghujmkt fnjinvn hur nars. ]ìs

pasthr was sayikc tìkcs tàt Chm àm fnnk rnvnajikc th us oust

fnehrn wn jnet t`n einjm th rnturk `hbn. Sn wnrn ghbehrtnm,

agtuajjy, th lkhw tàt wn wnrn kht t`n hkjy hkns rngnivikc t`nsn

rnvnjatihks erhb Chm. Chm àm fnnk sayikc t`n sabn tìkcs th

shbnhkn njsn. @ajjnjuoa`.


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Erhb t`nk hkn, wn ghktikunm th attnkm t`n Bhkmay kic`t

Fifjn gjassns eaitèujjy. (By wien bhrn eaitèujjy tàk I.)

Snnl fy wnnl, Chm fncak th mhwkjham ikth hur spirits akmbikms a knw ukmnrstakmikc, a knw t`nhjhcy (th us, tàt is). Trngnpt

uphk prngnpt, wn fncak th ukmnrstakm t`n rhjn he Isranj ik Chms

hvnrajj pjak akm purphsn, akm nspngiajjy ik t`n Nkm ]ibn.

Sn misghvnrnm tàt Isranj is t`n bissikc jikl th bug` he hur

Nvakcnjigaj bissihjhcy akm nsgàthjhcy oust th kabn a enw.

Erhb as narjy as t`n 7rm akm =t` gnkturins, Fifjigaj t`nhjhcy às

fnnk rnpjagnm wit` t`n Vnpjagnbnkt ]`nhjhcy, shbntìkc tàt

was strhkcjy ikejunkgnm fy Akti-Wnbitig snktibnkts he t`n Narjy

Eat`nrs. Vnpjagnbnkt ]`nhjhcy tnag`ns tàt Chm is t`rhuc` witÌsranj, mun th `nr ghktikunm mishfnminkgn akm rnongtihk he t`n

Bnssia`, akm t`n gùrg`, as t`n Knw Isranj, is khw t`n `nir he ajj

t`n prhbisns akm fjnssikcs akm ghbbissihks tàt Chm cavn th

Isranj.

(S`nk I spnjj gùrg` wit` a sbajj g, I ab rnenrrikc th

t`n jhgaj hr ikstitutihkaj gùrg`. Fut w`nk I spnjj it wit` a gapitaj

G, I ab spnalikc he t`n Gùrg` tàt G`rist is fuijmikc.)

]ìs t`nhjhcy às gausnm t`n gùrg` th fn mnjusihkaj. Ehr

hkn, it tìkls tàt it is gapafjn he eikisìkc t`n Crnat Ghbbissihk,

wìg` is KH]. ]`n Crnat Ghbbissihk gakkht fn ghbpjntnm

wit`hut t`n Onwis` fnjinvnrs ik G`rist wit` w`hb wn arn th fn

ohiknm th ehrb t`n Hkn Knw Bak.

]`n gùrg` às ajsh ehrchttnk tàt sajvatihk is erhb t`n

Onws akm stijj fnjhkcs th t`n Onws. Ik its nvakcnjisb, it às kht

prnag`nm th t`n Onws nvnk t`huc` Tauj gatnchrigajjy says tàt t`n

chspnj is th t`n Onws eirst, akm t`nk th t`n Crnnls "#$%&'( )*)+,-

Ik t`n knxt eivn ynars (tijj khw), wn whujm jnark bhrn akmbhrn afhut t`n spirituaj sickieigakgn he Isranj, fht` ik ìsthry as

wnjj as ik prhp`ngy. Sn ajsh ukghvnrnm spirituaj trnasurns ik t`n

Jhrms Enasts. (]`n tnrb Onwis` Enasts is a biskhbnr fngausn

t`nsn enasts mim kht hricikatn wit` t`n Onws fut wit` Chm.)

Jnarkikc erhb t`n Fnrnaks, I mim kht fnjinvn nvnrytìkc I

was thjm straic`t away. I g`nglnm ajj tàt I was tauc`t wit` t`n

Wgripturns. Hkjy w`nk I gak snn it ik t`n Wgripturns whujm I fnjinvn

ik it, akm tnag` it th ht`nrs. Ivn snnk baky w`h àvn chkn hvnr

]`nCr

natGhbbissihkgakkhtfnghbpjntnmwit`hutt`nOnwis`

fnjinvnrsikG`rist

wit`w`hb

wnarn

thfnohiknmthehrbt`nHknKnwBak.


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fharm ik t`nir ukmnrstakmikc akm supphrt ehr Isranj. ]`ny arn w`nrn

t`ny arn fngausn t`ny àvn kht snarg`nm t`n Wgripturns. (Baky mh

kht lkhw t`n Wgripturns wnjj th start wit`.)Nvnry ynar sikgn t`nk, wn àvn travnjjnm th Isranj (by wien

bhrn tàk I). Sn mh kht ch as thurists< wn ch hk t`n ikvitatihk he

Chm fngausn it is @is jakm wn arn nktnrikc ikth. Whbn he t`n trips

arn prhp`ntig ik katurn (by wien chns hk t`nsn trips), ht`nrs àvn a

mieenrnkt purphsn. Ik rngnkt ynars, Chm às mirngtnm hur ehgus

thwarms t`n Onwis` @hjhgaust Wurvivhrs. Ehr t`n jast t`rnn ynars,

wn àvn `njm fakqunts ehr t`nb ik Isranj. ]`n chaj was th

rnbnbfnr akm `hkhr t`nb.

Fngausn a jarcn part he t`n gùrg` stijj `hjms th t`nVnpjagnbnkt ]`nhjhcy, wn stakm hut jiln a shrn tùbf th t`nb.

]ìs is t`n prign wnvn àm th pay ehr lkhwikc afhut akm

ghkkngtikc wit` Isranj.

Fut t`nrn àvn fnnk fjnssikcs thh. Ak nxabpjn is tìs? Fht`

by mauc`tnrs arn privijncnm th àvn fnnk faptiznm ik t`n Ohrmak

rivnr. By shk is knxt.


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Gàptnr 14

A Knw Ohurkny

Sajlikc wit` Chm is a jienjhkc ohurkny. It knvnr nkms ukjnss

yhu wakt it th.

Ik Mngnbfnr he 6414, I `narm t`n Jhrm say th bn, ]`n nkm

is knar. Fy tìs Chm was jnttikc us snn t`n jic`t at t`n nkm he t`n

tukknj, wìg` àm kht fnnk visifjn uktij khw. Ibbnmiatnjy, I

rus`nm `hbn th sàrn tìs pingn he chhm knws, abazikc knws, wit`

by wien. ]`nrn is, `hwnvnr, a quajieinr, a whrm he gautihk.

@avikc eabijiariznm bysnje wit` t`n Nxhmus sthry, I àvn

snnk `hw t`n Isranjitns wnrn sh gjhsn th t`n Trhbisnm jakm akm yntsh ear erhb it. Ik t`n nkm, t`ny bissnm it thtajjy fngausn t`ny

mhuftnm. Fasnm hk tìs, I rnbikmnm by wien afhut t`n ibphrtakgn

he watgìkc hur `narts akm hur whrms. Hkn garnjnssjy uttnrakgn gak

ruik nvnrytìkc akm gausn us th ehrenit hur ik`nritakgn.

I ajsh lknw tàt w`nk Chm says shhk, @n ghujm bnak tàt

it whujm àppnk ik a bhkt`, ik a ynar, hr ik a enw ynars. Hkjy Chm

lkhws. Fut tàkleujjy, ik hur gasn, it bnakt oust hkn bhkt`.

Ik Oakuary, by wien `narm erhb t`n Jhrm tàt It is hvnr!

Traisn t`n Jhrm.Fut wàts knxt8

Iktnrnstikcjy, @n mirngtnm bn fagl th t`n gùrg`. Akm, he ajj

gùrg`ns, @n g`hsn th pjagn bn ik a bnt`hmist gùrg`. It was jiln

ghbikc hkn eujj girgjn fngausn by eirst gùrg` was erhb tìs

mnkhbikatihk. Fut I was t`nrn ehr hkjy six bhkt`s.

Knxt, @n jnm bn th ak ikmnpnkmnkt bnca-gùrg`. ]ìs tibn,

I was t`nrn jhkcnr? 17 bhkt`s.


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Khw, as I writn, I ab acaik waitikc uphk Chm th s`hw bn

t`n knxt stnp. Knvnrt`njnss, by `nart is at pnagn. Nvnk t`huc` I mh

kht lkhw afhut thbhrrhw, I lkhw w`h is t`n hkn w`h `hjms byàkm.

It `njps w`nk yhu àvn rngnivnm prhp`ntig whrms erhb t`n

Jhrm. It snrvns as yhur akg`hr akm Khrt` Wtar. Jast ynar, I rngnivnm

a prhp`ngy t`rhuc` hkn he ìs akhiktnm snrvakts, Mr. Ghrkn

Fnllnr. ]`rhuc` t`n prhp`ngy, Chm was tnjjikc bn tàt @n is

prnparikc a bnssacn witìk bn. As a battnr he eagt, @n was

prnparikc bn th fn tàt bnssacn. It whujm fn a bnssacn th t`n

gùrg`ns. @n mnsgrifnm bn as strhkc bnmigikn, ak aktimhtn

tàt t`n gùrg`ns whujm knnm ehr its paiks akm whukms. @n warknmtàt ehr khw I wijj fn bisukmnrsthhm akm jafnjjnm as nxtrnbn akm

ramigaj. Fut t`n Jhrm assurns bn tàt I àvn `narm ghrrngtjy, akm

tàt @n `hkhrs by hfnminkgn.

I ab ghkvikgnm tàt tìs bnssacn is kht shbntìkc tàt

Chm ghujm oust jnt bn rnam akm jnark. (I wis` it ghujm fn tàt nasy.)

I ab th fn tàt bnssacn< akm ik sàpikc bn, @n is ajsh sàpikc t`n

bnssacn.

A kubfnr he ynars fnehrn tìs, wìjn wn wnrn stijj hk t`n

einjm, I àm a supnrkaturaj nxpnrinkgn. I was talnk ikth t`n tìrm

`navnk w`nrn I was bnt, kht fy t`n Jhrm @ibsnje, fy Tauj t`n

aphstjn. Sn wnrn ik a jarcn wìtn rhhb wit` kh misgnrkifjn

eurkiturn. It was oust bn akm ìb. Hur bnntikc was quigl. ]`n

hkjy whrms `n àm th say th bn was? Eikis` wàt I startnm. ]h fn

`hknst, I àvn kh imna wàt it bnaks uktij khw.

Ajj tìs àppnknm at arhukm t`rnn hgjhgl ik t`n bhrkikc.

Ik t`n bhrkikc, I thjm by wien afhut by nxpnrinkgn, fut ik

a rhukm afhut way. I startnm fy aslikc `nr w`y s`n was pjayikcghbputnrs cabns at t`rnn ik bhrkikc. (W`n rnajjy was.)

W`n was stukknm. @hw mim yhu lkhw I was pjayikc

ghbputnr cabns at t`rnn ik t`n bhrkikc8 I was surn yhu wnrn

shukm asjnnp fngausn I ghujm `nar yhur skhrikc twh rhhbs away.

I saw wàt yhu wnrn mhikc hk by way fagl erhb `navnk,

I rnpjinm. Khw s`n was puzzjnm.

I fncak th tnjj `nr w`nrn I was akm w`h I bnt wit`. ^ksurn

ie I was tnjjikc t`n trut`, s`n shuc`t shbn vnrieigatihk.


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]njj bn wàt Tauj jhhlnm jiln, s`n prhfnm.

]`n bak I bnt knvnr iktrhmugnm ìbsnje th bn, fut ik by

spirit I lknw tàt `n was Tauj t`n aphstjn. Wh I mnsgrifnm ìb thby wien akm s`n was ghkvikgnm. W`n àm `narm shbnhkn mnsgrifn

wàt Tauj prhfafjy jhhlnm jiln ik a snbikar shbn tibn fagl. (I

waskt at t`n snbikar.) Akm t`n mnsgriptihk I cavn batg`nm ajbhst

pnrengtjy wàt s`n àm `narm at t`n snbikar.

I wijj jnt yhu ehrb yhur hwk ghkgjusihk afhut wàt tìs ajj

bnaks. Bnakwìjn, I wijj ghktikun th ohurkny wit` Chm.


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Tart II


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Gàptnr 11

Tigturns he t`n Likcmhb

Chm hetnk spnals mirngtjy th bnk akm shbntibns ikmirngtjy

thh. Onsus sphln ik parafjns, akm th t`n uknkjic`tnknm it was bnrn

ciffnris`< fut th w`hb rnvnjatihk is civnk, t`n nbfnmmnm trut`s

arn rnvnajnm. Ik t`n sabn way, Chm ìmns sngrnts ik pjaik sic`t

usikc pigturns akm typns sngrnts hkjy th fn rnvnajnm ik t`n

euturn. ]`ny arn ik pjaik sic`t ik tàt t`ny arn t`nrn ehr ajj th snn,

ynt kht ajj wijj snn t`nb ukjnss Chm às ajjhwnm t`nb th.

Hkn he t`n tìkcs @n às ìmmnk ik pjaik sic`t is t`n ghkgnpt

he t`n likcmhb he Chm. Fut fnehrn wn vnkturn ikth tajlikc afhutt`n pigturns he t`n likcmhb I tìkl it is nssnktiaj tàt wn

ukmnrstakm wàt a likcmhb is.

A likcmhb is, eirst he ajj, (1) a rnajb, a mhbaik. It

hggupins a cnhcrapìgaj tnrrithry. It gak fn barlnm hut hk t`n

Shrjm Bap. Knxt, a likcmhb is (6) rujnm fy a likc akm is (7)

chvnrknm fy t`n rujn he jaw. Eikajjy, a likcmhb (=) às sufongts.

]`n bhrn t`n bnrrinr. Sàt whujm a likc, hr likcmhb, fn wit`hut

t`nb8

Ehr aky bntap`hr ik t`n Hjm ]nstabnkt th quajiey as a pigturnhe t`n likcmhb he Chm, it bust àvn ajj ehur gàragtnristigs he a

likcmhb? rnajb, likc, jaw, akm sufongts.

I àvn ehukm twh pigturns he t`n likcmhb he Chm ik t`n

Hjm ]nstabnkt. ]`n eirst fnikc t`n Carmnk ik Nmnk, akm t`n ht`nr

is Gakaak, t`n Trhbisnm Jakm.


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Carmnk ik Nmnk

Nmnk was a rncihk hk t`n Nart` tàt was, as its kabn ibpjins,pjnasakt akm mnjic`teuj. ]`n rnst he t`n Nart`, hk t`n ht`nr

ghktrary, was farrnk kh fus` he t`n einjm was ynt ik t`n jakm

akm kh sbajj pjakt he t`n einjm àm ynt sprukc up (Cnk 6?>) akm

frhwk. Ik ghktrast, Nmnk was a savakka` (hr crassjakm)< akm

nastwarm ik Nmnk (Cnk 6?0) Chm pjaktnm a carmnk.

]`n nastnrjy mirngtihk `hjms crnat sickieigakgn ik t`n Fifjn.

]`n Wuk risns erhb t`n nast< t`n Carmnk was ik t`n nast he Nmnk

Wh Watak wnkt hut erhb t`n prnsnkgn he t`n JHVM akm strugl Ohf

wit` jhat`shbn shrns erhb t`n shjn he ìs ehht th t`n grhwk he ìs

`nam.Ik subbary, Ohf jhst ìs eabijy, ìs wnajt` akm phssnssihks,

akm ìs `najt` witìk a s`hrt pnrihm he tibn. Ajj tìs was t`n whrl

he ]`n ]ìne.

]`n whbak w`h was grippjnm fy a spirit. Hkn Waffat`, Onsus

nkghuktnrnm a whbak ik t`n sykachcun w`nrn @n was tnagìkc.

W`n àm fnnk grippjnm fy a spirit ehr nic`tnnk ynars (Juln 17?11).

As a rnsujt, s`n was fnkt hvnr akm ghujm kht stakm up straic`t.

S`nk Onsus saw `nr, @n gajjnm `nr ehrwarm, jaim @is àkms hk `nr,akm snt `nr ernn. @nr p`ysigaj ghkmitihk was t`n whrl he Watak fut,

hk tàt may, Onsus appnarnm th mnstrhy t`n whrls he t`n mnvij

(1 Oh`k 7?0).

Kht hkjy mhns jagl prhmugn thij, it ajsh prhmugns akxinty. Akyhkn

w`h is ik jagl wijj katurajjy fn akxihus. It is rarn th eikm shbnhkn

w`h is fnìkm hk ìs rnkt, hr às gàjlnm up a ùcn mnft th kht ennj

akxihus. Ik eagt, `n s`hujm fn pakiglikc.

Akxinty was wàt Onsus saw ik @is pnhpjn as @n bhvnm

abhkc t`nb. ]`nir akxinty gabn erhb t`nir strivikc th bnnt t`nir

hwk knnms. Ik jhvn akm ghbpassihk Onsus saim th t`nb? ]`nrnehrn

mh kht fn akxihus, sayikc, Sàt sàjj wn nat8 hr Sàt sàjj wn

mrikl8 hr Sàt sàjj wn wnar8 Ehr t`n Cnktijns snnl aetnr ajj

t`nsn tìkcs, akm yhur `navnkjy Eat`nr lkhws tàt yhu knnm t`nb

ajj. Fut snnl eirst t`n likcmhb he Chm akm ìs ric`tnhusknss, akm

ajj t`nsn tìkcs wijj fn ammnm th yhu. (Batt 5?71-77).

Mim yhu khtign t`n hrmnr he wàt Onsus saim8 Onsus pjagnm t`nehgus hk hur akxinty fnehrn t`n ehgus hk hur knnms. Bhst he t`n

tibn, tìs is `hw wn tìkl? I wijj gnasn th fn akxihus hkgn by

knnms arn bnt. Fut tìs wijj àrmjy àppnk fngausn, as wn àvn

snnk narjinr, wn wijj ajways fn ùkcry akm t`nrnehrn ajways fn ik

knnm.

Onsus wakts yhu th lkhw tàt wàtnvnr yhur knnm is, t`n

Eat`nr gak akm wijj bnnt it. @n às aggnptnm rnsphksifijity he yhur

knnms sh tàt yhu mh kht àvn th. Ajj yhu knnm th mh khw is th snnl


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@is likcmhb akm ric`tnhusknss, akm ajj t`nsn tìkcs wijj fn ammnm

th yhu. Fut ik hrmnr ehr tàt th àppnk, yhur akxihus `nart bust fn

turknm ikth a `nart he eait`, hkn tàt fnjinvns tàt @n nxists akmtàt @n rnwarms t`hsn w`h snnl ìb (@nf 11?5).

Wh jagl prhmugns akxinty, akm akxinty is a ehrb he thij. ]`nrn

is sginktieig prhhe ehr tìs.

Whbnhkn w`h is ik jagl is àrmjy at rnst nbhtihkajjy,

bnktajjy, hr p`ysigajjy. @is sybpat`ntig knrvhus systnb is ajways

ik t`n hk statn. ]`n sybpat`ntig knrvhus systnb is t`n

eic`t/ejic`t systnb wìg` rnjnasns nknrcy akm cnts t`n fhmy

"pribnm" ehr agtihk. Ibacikn a spriktnr w`h is phisnm at t`n

startikc fjhgl, akm às fnnk t`nrn ehr ak `hur. Wh bug` he ìsnknrcy whujm àvn fnnk nxpnkmnm oust th baiktaik tàt stakgn tàt

`n whujm àrmjy àvn aky jnet th ruk t`n ragn. Agtivity ik t`n

sybpat`ntig knrvhus systnb prhmugns ak ikgrnasn ik `nart ratn akm

t`n strnkct` he t`n `nartfnat. @nkgn, a ghkstaktjy akxihus pnrshk

wijj nxpnrinkgn a ìc`nr `nart ratn tàk ak avnracn pnrshk at rnst.

]ìs wijj jnam, ik t`n jhkc ruk, th `nart misnasn hr eaijurn.

7. ]hij is a ]rap

Sn àvn snnk sh ear tàt thij is nkmjnss àrm whrl akm is a

rnsujt he jagl. Khw wn wijj snn tàt thij is a trap.

As I àvn s`hwk yhu narjinr, t`n 1060 Snfstnrs Nkcjis`

Migtihkary ajsh mneikns thij as a skarn hr a trap. Ie thij is a trap,

t`nk mnsirnbust fn its fait.

S`nk mnsirn, wìg` ghbns erhb nit`nr a rnaj hr pnrgnivnm

jagl witìk yhu, is kht frhuc`t ukmnr ghktrhj, it wijj gausn yhu th

mh ukmnsirafjn tìkcs sug` as th fhrrhw hr, whrsn stijj, th stnaj. Ak

ikkhgnkt ikknr mnsirn, w`nk jnet ukg`nglnm, gak crhw ikth

ghvnthusknss akm crnnm. Ghbpnjjnm fy t`nb, pnhpjn spnkm t`n

bhkny t`ny mh kht àvn th fuy tìkcs t`ny mhkt rnajjy knnm erhb

pnhpjn w`h mhkt rnajjy garn ehr akyhkn fut t`nbsnjvns. ]`n

rnsujt? mnft. Bijjihks he pnhpjn arn mnnp ik mnft thmay fngausn t`ny

àvn eaijnm th lnnp t`nir mnsirns ik g`ngl. Khw, t`ny wijj àvn th

]hijis

atrap.

]`hsnw`harngauc`tikatrap

knnmsthfnrnsgunm,

khtajnsshkhktrap-bakacnbnkt


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sueenr t`n ghksnqunkgn fy whrlikc, bhst he t`nb ehr t`n rnst he

t`nir jivns, uktij t`ny àvn rnpaim t`n mnft.

Fut tàts kht ajj. A fhrrhwnr, Trhvnrfs 66?3 tnjjs us, issnrvakt th t`n jnkmnr. Oaghf was ak nxabpjn he shbnhkn w`h was

trappnm fy ìs hwk mnsirn, akm as a rnsujt he pursuikc it rnjnktjnssjy

`n bamn ìbsnje a snrvakt (a sjavn agtuajjy).

Oaghf was hk t`n ruk fngausn `n àm sthjnk t`n firt`ric`t akm

fjnssikc tàt ric`tjy fnjhkcnm th ìs frht`nr Nsau. Hk t`n

rnghbbnkmatihk he ìs bht`nr, Oaghf thhl rneucn at ìs ukgjn

Jafaks `hbn. ]`nrn `n bnt Vag`nj, Jafaks yhukcnr mauc`tnr,

akm ibbnmiatnjy enjj ik jhvn wit` `nr. Nvnk t`huc` Oaghf was

ajrnamy ik ìs sixtins w`nk `n arrivnm at Jafaks `hbn, @n wasstijj prntty kavn akm cujjifjn. Jafak, hk t`n ht`nr àkm, was

s`rnwm akm uksgrupujhus. @n gapitajiznm hk Oaghfs jhvn ehr

Vag`nj akm trinm th prheit erhb it.

Kht waktikc th appnar thh nacnr, Jafak wait ehr shbn tibn

pass. Ik t`n bnaktibn, Jafak ajjhw Oaghf th `njp tnkm t`n akibajs.

]`nk gasuajjy, hkn may, Jafak aslnm Oaghf? Fngausn yhu arn by

liksbak, s`hujm yhu t`nrnehrn snrvn bn ehr khtìkc8 ]njj bn,

wàt sàjj yhur wacns fn8 (Cnk 69?1>).

S`h saim akytìkc afhut wacns8 Cnttikc paim hr fnghbikc

prhspnrhus was eurt`nst erhb Oaghf bikm at tàt tibn. Sàts

bhrn, `njpikc th tnkm t`n akibajs was paybnkt nkhuc` ehr

Jafaks likmknss akm `hspitajity. Fut was it nkhuc` ehr Jafak8

Jafak bust àvn snnk shbn tìkc ik Oaghf akm waktnm bhrn

he it. Wh `n jurns Oaghf ikth balikc ak acrnnbnkt. ]`n tnrb he t`n

acrnnbnkt was sibpjn? Oaghf whujm àvn Vag`njs àkm ik

barriacn aetnr `n àm snrvnm Jafak ehr snvnk ynars (vnrsn 10).

]`n acrnnbnkt fntwnnk Jafak akm Oaghf was ak nbpjhybnktghktragt he shrts. I say tìs fngausn he t`n whrms snrvn akm

wacns whrms yhu whujm ghbbhkjy eikm ik ak Nbpjhybnkt

Ghktragt Jafak usnm ik spnalikc wit` Oaghf. Ik ak Nbpjhybnkt

Ghktragt, t`n nbpjhynn wijj rngnivn ghbpnksatihk erhb ìs

nbpjhynr ehr t`n whrl `n mhns. Ik tìs gasn, Jafak wijj civn ìs

mauc`tnr Vag`nj th Oaghf ik nxgàkcn ehr snvnk ynars he ìs

snrvign. Sit` tìs nbpjhybnkt ghktragt, Jafak suggnsseujjy


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nkskarnm6Oaghf. Oaghf àm uklkhwikcjy bamn ìbsnje Jafaks

snrvakt ehr t`n knxt snvnk ynars. I ibacikn tàt it mimkt fht`nr

Oaghf (nvnk ie `n rnajiznm it) fngausn ìs mnsirn ehr Vag`nj wascrnat.

Ie Jafak àm fnnk ak `hknst rnjativn, Oaghf whujm àvn àm

wàt `n mnsirnm akm wàt `n àm whrlnm ehr. Fut, as t`n sthry chns,

Jafak mngnivnm Oaghf fy civikc ìb t`n àkm he ìs njmnst

mauc`tnr Jna` ikstnam. ]ìs agt ajhkn s`hujm àvn bamn it

afukmaktjy gjnar th Oaghf tàt Jafak was a grhhl, tàt `n gakkht

fn trustnm akybhrn. Fut fngausn Oaghfs mnsirn was stijj strhkc, `n

fngabn fjikm th t`n trut` akm ehhjis`jy acrnnm th Jafaks rnknwnm

tnrbs? wn wijj civn yhu t`n ht`nr ajsh ik rnturk ehr snrvikc bnakht`nr snvnk ynars (vnrsn 63).

S`nk t`n snghkm snvnk ynars was ghbpjntn, Oaghf eikajjy

àm Vag`nj as ìs wien, ìs snghkm wien. Fut ikstnam he gajjikc it

quits, Oaghf ghktikunm th whrl ehr Jafak. Ajt`huc` t`n Fifjn is

sijnkt afhut it, wn gak mnmugn tàt it was Oaghfs enar he ìs frht`nr

Nsau uksurn ie Nsaus akcnr àm fnnk assuacnm hr afatnm tàt

bamn ìb rnbaik wit` Jafak. Tut akht`nr way, Oaghf g`hsn t`n

fnttnr he twh nvijs fy rnbaikikc wit` Jafak shbntìkc tàt

baky àvn rnshrtnm th wit` rncarms th t`nir gurrnkt situatihk.

Baky pnhpjn, t`huc` shbn bay kht say it, arn ukàppy wit`

t`nir gurrnkt ohfs. It ghujm fn mun th ak ukrnashkafjn fhss,

ukerinkmjy gh-whrlnrs, ukeair trnatbnkt, ikamnquatn rnbuknratihk,

hr sibpjy misghktnktbnkt. Fut, ik spitn he `hw t`ny ennj akm wàt

t`ny àvn th nkmurn, t`ny àkc thuc`, fitn-t`n-fujjnt, akm rnbaik

w`nrn t`ny arn ikstnam he jnavikc. ]`ny rnashk tàt t`n risl he

jnavikc akm vnkturikc ikth t`n uklkhwk is shbntìkc t`ny arn

ukprnparnm th taln. Ik mhikc sh, hkn bic`t fn chikc erhb t`neryikc pak akm ikth t`n eirn erhb a fam situatihk th ak nvnk whrsn

hkn.

Ab I sayikc tàt akyhkn w`h is ukàppy wit` ìs ohf jnavn it

ibbnmiatnjy8 Afshjutnjy kht. Sàt t`ny s`hujm asl t`nbsnjvns

(akm Chm) is tìs? Ab I w`nrn Chm wakts bn th fn8 ]ìs is

"#ZZHIRLPJ KH KBQ .HWWLP] )PJWL]B


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grugiaj fngausn nvnry tibn Chms pnhpjn stnps hut he @is Sijj,

trhufjn fneajj t`nb. It àppnknm th Afraàb? w`nk `n trinm th

nsgapn t`n eabikn fy chikc th Ncypt, `n ajbhst jhst ìs wien akmìs jien t`nrn. It ajsh àppnknm th Oaghf, as wn àvn oust snnk.

Ohka` mim it thh, akm sueenrnm bug` ehr it. Fut it mimkt àppnk th

Isaag, w`h, ik t`n tibn he a eabikn, shwnm ik tàt jakm akm rnapnm

ik t`n sabn ynar a ùkmrnmehjm (Cnk 65?16).

Oaghf was gjnarjy hut he t`n Sijj he Chm. @n ajjhwnm enar th

bhtivatn akm stnnr ìb. @n jistnknm th t`n amvisn he ìs bht`nr

ikstnam he snnlikc t`n ghuksnj he Chm< akm jhhl w`nrn `n nkm up.

At t`n nkm he twnkty ynars, Chm gabn th Oaghf akm saim,

Jiet up yhur nyns akm snn, ajj t`n chats tàt batn wit` t`n ejhglarn stripnm, sphttnm, akm bhttjnm, ehr I àvn snnk ajj tàt Jafak is

mhikc th yhu. I ab t`n Chm he Fnt`nj, w`nrn yhu akhiktnm a pijjar

akm bamn a vhw th bn. Khw arisn, ch hut erhb tìs jakm akm rnturk

th t`n jakm he yhur likmrnm. (Cnk 71?16-17).

It was ghbehrtikc ehr Oaghf th lkhw tàt Chm às kht

afakmhknm ìb t`nsn twnkty, fut àm fnnk watgìkc hvnr ìb. Fut,

knvnrt`njnss, it was tibn (Chm says) th ghbn `hbn. Akm `hbn

was ik Fnt`nj, t`n pjagn w`nrn Oaghf fuijt ak ajtar th t`n Jhrm (snn

Cnk 60?19).

It bic`t àvn a pjay he whrms fut Fnt`nj jitnrajjy bnaks t`n

`husn (fnt) he Chm (nj). Wh, ik gajjikc Oaghf th rnturk th Fnt`nj,

Chm was ik eagt gajjikc Oaghf th rnturk th t`n `husn he Chm, w`nrn

`n fnjhkcs. ]àt is w`nrn ìs ik`nritakgn waits ehr ìb.

Sàt afhut yhu8 @avn yhu chkn away erhb `hbn8 Tnràps

yhu arn jiln t`n Trhmicaj Whk. ]àts ajj ric`t, fngausn t`n Trhmicaj

Whk nvnktuajjy wnkt `hbn akm sh gak yhu. As yhu rnam tìs, I

pray tàt yhu wijj fn afjn th `nar Chm gajjikc yhu Ghbn `hbn!Yhur `hbn is w`nrn t`n Eat`nr is< it is t`n likcmhb he Chm. ]`nrn,

yhur ik`nritakgn awaits yhu. Fn ghbehrtnm akm rn-assurnm fy t`nsn

whrms?

Enar kht, jittjn ejhgl, ehr it is yhur Eat`nr's chhm

pjnasurn th civn yhu t`n likcmhb. (Juln 16?76)

Fnsimns fnikc mngnivnm ikth barryikc Jna` as wnjj as Vag`nj, t`n

hkn `n trujy jhvnm, Oaghf ajsh sueenrnm ik ht`nr ways at t`n àkm he


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Jafak. Wpnalikc th ìs wivns afhut t`n twnkty ynars tàt `n

whrlnm ehr Jafak, Oaghf saim? Yhu lkhw tàt I àvn snrvnm yhur

eat`nr wit` ajj by strnkct`, ynt yhur eat`nr às g`natnm bn akmgàkcnm by wacns tnk tibns. Fut Chm mim kht pnrbit ìb th àrb

bn (Cnk 71?5, 3).

Gàkcnm by wacns tnk tibns. Mhnskt tàt shukm eabijiar8

Nbpjhynns ik Wikcaphrn akm arhukm t`n whrjm àvn snnk t`nir

wacns mngrnasn ikstnam he stnamijy risikc hvnr t`n ynars. Ajt`huc`

whrlnrs arn stijj rngnivikc

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My Journey Towards the Kingdom of God