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The Mission of the Compassionate Friends is to assist families toward the positive resolution of grief following
the death of a child of any age and to provide information to help others be supportive.
MEETINGS/REUNIONES
PARENTS, GRANDPARENTS & ADULT SIBLINGS
7:00 p.m. — 1st Thursday of the month
New Cassel Retirement Center
900 N. 90th Street —Auditorium Level 2, Omaha, NE
REUNION EN ESPAŃOL/MEETING IN SPANISH
7:00 pm-3er miércoles de cada mes/3rd Wed. of every month
One World Community Health Center Conference Room
4920 S. 30th Street, Omaha NE
Kelly 712-326-4308
Spanish Facebook Page http://www.facebook.com/home.php#%21/LACUSA
DAYTIME MEETING
3rd Tuesday of the month at noon. Join us for
lunch at Tish’s restaurant.
1115 S 35 Street, Council Bluffs
National Office: The Compassionate Friends P.O. Box 3696 Oakbrook IL 60522-3696 (877) 969-0010 www.compassionatefriends.org
Nebraska Regional Coordinator: Kelly Pelster [email protected] (402) 676-3670
Address Service Requested
Please send stories, poems or love gifts by
December 15, 2011
P.O. Box 540852, Omaha, NE 68154 www.tcfomaha.org
[email protected] (English) or [email protected] (Spanish) 402-571-4011
Non-Profit
US Postage
PAID
Omaha, NE
Permit #1300
November/December 2011
UPCOMING EVENTS
November 3—Omaha Chapter Meeting
November 3—Oakland, IA Chapter Meeting
November 10 – Fremont Meeting
November 15 – Noon LUNCH at Tish’s
November 16 – Spanish Meeting
December 1 – Omaha Chapter Meeting
December 1 – Oakland, IA Chapter Meeting
December 8 – Fremont Meeting
December 11—Worldwide Candle Lighting
December 20 – Noon LUNCH at Tish’s
December 21 – Spanish Meeting
TCF has a new chapter in Oakland Iowa! Check
them out on facebook - The Compassionate
Friends of South West Iowa
Miércoles/Wednesday - 16 Noviembre/November
Miércoles/Wednesday - 21 Diciembre/December
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Thank you to the following businesses and professionals who have generously assisted us in our mission
New Cassel Retirement Center ● One World Community Health Center ● Ted E Bear Hollow ● Centering Corporation
Boys Town ● Edward Jones Investments ● Blue Cross & Blue Shield Nebraska ● Omaha Visitors Bureau ● Union Pacific Company Store
Eye Essentials ● AARP ● Centering Corporation ● Ted E Bear Hollow ● Heafey Heafey Hoffman Dworak & Cutler Funeral Chapels
Fremont Area Medical Center ● Tish’s Restaurant ● Diversified Financial Services ● Fremont National Bank ● Holstein’s Harley Davidson Whole Foods ● Braman Mortuary ● Jane Dugan Counseling ● Dugan Chapel ● Strategic Planning Partners ● Brown Floral & Creations
Nebraska Medical Center ● HyVee ● XI Alpha Chapter of Beta Sigma Phi X131 ● American Express Gift Match ● Meredith Corporation Gift Match ● Union Pacific Fund for Effective Government Gift Match ● Perkins Restaurant
Love Gifts ∙ Address Change ∙ Authorization To Print Name & Dates
Mail to: The Compassionate Friends , PO Box 540852, Omaha, NE 68154
Your Name_____________________________________________________________________________________
Address_______________________________________Email____________ _______________________________
City___________________________ State _______ Zip ______________ Phone_____________________
Date _______________ Gift of $___________ DIRECT MY GIFT TOWARD:
□ Angel of Hope Project □ Memorial Programs
□ General Fund (90% local/10% national) □ Outreach –printing, postage, phone, web
In Memory of___________________________________________________________
Message:______________________________________________________________
I GIVE MY PERMISSION TO PRINT MY CHILD’S NAME, BIRTH & DEATH MONTH/DAY IN THE NEWSLETTER
Child’s Name __________________________________________________________________________________
Birth Date __________________Death Date ______________________Your Relationship____________________
SIGNATURE_REQUIRED_____________________________________________________DATE______________
You will no longer receive the newsletter if 2 years have passed since our last
contact with you. You may be added back to the mailing list at your request. 2011
These members are veterans of the organization who work to-gether as a team to take care of the business of the chapter. Giving back is another stage of healing. They will have name tags to identifying them as steer-ing committee, so you can seek them out at meetings
for questions or suggestions, or a listening ear.
The steering committee meets every other month to han-
dle the business of the chapter. New officers have started
a leadership transition period and some of the steering
committee have attended the leadership training program
provided by the national office in September. We still
have openings to fill if you would like to join our team to
further your healing and honor your child by working as a
team and make a difference for many families.
Leader - Kelly Kleckner-Silva
Co-Leader - Barbara Schwede
Treasurer - Doug Hartmann
Angel of Hope Coordinator - Kelly Pelster
Corporate Gifts - Sandra Massie
Facilitator - Joyce Schlosser
Spanish Facilitator - Kelly Kleckner-Silva
Secretary - Pending (Linda Sorgenfrei & Becky Smith)
Newsletter Editor - Kate Spinks
Webmaster - Pending
JoAnn Smith - Librarian
Provisional Members: Beth Pribil, Mary Jo Fike
Outreach Coordinators - Omaha (Open), Council Bluffs
- Shirley Ashcraft
Publicity/Speakers Bureau - (Open)
FIRST HOLIDAY
We lit a candle today,
To fill the empty place,
Where you should be
But aren’t…
I stood with my hands cupping the Flame..
And felt the heat…
The energy…
Empty space between fire and flesh
Nothing visible
Nothing to see…
And yet I knew it was there-
The energy touched my skin.
And so it was with you today.
Nothing visible-nothing to see.
And yet I knew you were here..
Your energy touched my heart.
—Sandy Goodman 2006
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♥ Gifts of Love ♥ Our activities support the grief work of many families. We also work to educate members of our community about the grief process and how they can support bereaved parents. Please help us help others by making a LOVE GIFT today. TCF is a 501c3 organization and funded only by donations. Monetary gifts in any amount are deeply appreciated and we gratefully accept these gifts knowing our chil-dren are warmly remembered. Chapter expenses include printing, postage, library, yellow pages, and memorial programs. Use the
form above to send a tax deductible gift.
OUTREACH FUND - Printing, Postage, Telephone, Website
The greatest chapter expense is printing and mailing the newsletter. We also know that the newsletter is our most important outreach tool. We want the
newsletter to reach those who want it. We are going “green” to stretch our donations further, and we are asking you to let us know:
____ I want to receive the mailed newsletter 6 times a year & notices for events
____ Only mail notices for special memorial events
____ I want to go “green” and receive the newsletter and notices via email/website
____ Remove my name. I can refer families to 402-571-4011 or www.tcfomaha.org
Thank you for your generous support over the years, to allow the chapter to continue to reach out to the newly bereaved. More than 1200 bereaved par-
ents, grandparents and siblings have attended the Greater Omaha Chapter of the Compassionate Friends. We are a 501c3 organization. Donations are tax
deductible.
Name __________________________________Child _________________________
Address ________________________________City____________St____Zip_______
Email _________________________________________________________________
add [email protected] to your address book so that our emails are not going to your spam or junk mail folder because of the large number on our mail-
ing list.
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Cut out remembrance form and mail to:
The Compassionate Friends—Greater Omaha Chapter
PO Box 540852
Omaha NE 68154-0852
Please remember that the annual Worldwide candle lighting event is funded by your generous donations to the Omaha
Chapter. As always, TCF is 501c3 and all donations are tax deductible.
The Worldwide Candle Lighting every year
the second Sunday in December
7:00 p.m. for one hour local time around the globe
creating a 24-hour wave of light
We invite you, your family, and friends who grieve the loss of a child any age,
to join in
this moving tribute, realizing you are not alone, and that your child, grandchild,
sibling
or friend is remembered during the holiday season.
December 11, 2011. Candles will be lit at 7:00. Doors open at 6:30.
Candles provided. Bring a framed picture or keepsake for your centerpiece.
Westside Community Conference Center
3534 S. 108th St, Omaha NE
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Candles in the Night
A heart broken be the death of a child can never be healed. As parents we try every way
that can be thought of to cope with the loss, but the void will always be there. At first
that emptiness seems to take your breath away and most times we wish it would.
This becomes different with the passage of time. It never goes away. But at some point we learn to live with it, and in
fact this horrible feeling becomes a lifeline of sorts. One of our biggest fears is to forget our children. Forget how
they looked or how their voices sounded.
The smiles and tears that blur together to make a child. This emptiness in effect becomes a constant yearning to re-
member our children.
Our hearts force us to find ways to fill that void to maintain our role as parents. Some are as simple as visiting the
cemetery and some are as complex as changing our entire lives, dedicated to the memory of our child. In between are
the many rituals we create or borrow from others to honor the memories and to keep our child’s name alive.
Lighting a candle and saying a child’s name keeps their memory burning bright. It means we are struggling to cope with
this unwanted role of bereaved parent in the only positive manner we can. We will most certainly shed tears every time
and we will still miss our child, but we are doing something that allows the world’ to hear our child’s name and for that
one moment the candle means so much more than anyone else could ever understand.
For a fleeting second that is our universe and every memory we have comes flooding back to us as we see the flame
through tears, distorting it into something magical. It’s the only gift we can give our children. This is as close we can
get to our child now. A tiny, flickering flame that can warm the heart and it’s nice to think that perhaps they can see it
also . It’s a beacon, our light in the window, our shining star in the darkness. It’s an opening of our hearts and a way to
share our grief.
We gather to honor the memories of our children and to share this bond of lighting a candle for the children all over
the world. We miss them so much.
THANKSGIVING PRAYER
I’m thankful this Thanksgiving that my grief is not so new. Last year it was so painful to
think of losing you. Death can’t claim my love for you tho we are apart, sweet memories will
always be engraved upon my heart. Time can never bring you back but it can help me be
thankful for the years of joy you brought our family. To all the parents with grief so new I
share your loss and sorrow I pray you find with faith and time the blessings of each tomor-
row.
Charlotte Irick
Tcf Idaho Falls, ID
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What a difference a friend makes A real friend is one who always looks for ways to encourage and refresh others.
A real friend is one who knows that listen and silent are made of the same six letters.
Certain friends have a way of setting up residence in us. You all have just found this empty room in my heart, put up cheery curtains, soft fuzzy rigs, painted pictures of tender and precious moments, and started to build this cozy fire next to two sink-back-and-stay-awhile chairs. I am not sure exactly when you started moving in, but I am so glad you did.
What a privilege God has given me to have all of you in my life. He has handed us a delightful set of tools to be able to carve self-work into the lives of each other. Like Carrie Underwood said, “It’s just windows and rooms that we are passing through cause this is just our temporary home.”… but He also wants us to try to enjoy the ride. I wasn’t for a lot of years and then here God has blessed me again with you all in my life.
I have been independent for so long and always trying to just help others. It has been such an unfamiliar area in my life now to be a receiver. I guess like our awesome leader Joanne has said, it is harder to receive than to give. I just know now what having true friends in our lives means!!
To be able to open your eyes after surgery in a room that now fells like the walls are just closing in and your just want to say okay Lord, please let me go home now, then a hand starts to squeeze yours saying “I am here, we will do this together!!” Then off and on for two weeks these new familiar faces keep appearing … I and NOT alone…
Then you sit at home something feeling sad and your get the mail and again that frown turns into a smile, a card to let you know you are thought of and lived ,,,, or a phone call saying how about some hours refreshing, then they also turn up with home baked meals. Aren’t those the best!! Wow, not only this ice fresh smell of clean and shining walls and floors, but tasty food too!! Maybe I am in Heaven and you all came with…
But to top it all off you feel this awesome sensation of love all through you cause prayers are being sent up to wish you well… then last but certainly now least you head for that long journey to Bible Study cause you need to now go to that home where warmth and love are just in the air. Then another “WOW”, a surprise birthday party! More home baked food and fresh fruit, cake, balloons, plants, etc.. Cards and best of all is the LOVE…
Sorry this took so long to get written and expressed. I just wanted you to know how you have really touched my heart and my whole life.
I love You Friends !
by Wendy Rowton , loving friend of Beth Preble TCF Omaha,
in memory of Wendy’s son, Michael
We grieve not only the person we love who has died, but also the life we lived with that person. We
also grieve the time spent sharing the important moments of our life. Holidays represent some of
those special moments. When we are surrounded by the lights and sounds of the approaching holi-
days we are again reminded that our lives have been changed forever.
Be patient with yourself. Be realistic. Plan ahead. Decide what is really important to you and prioritize everything.
Hold on to your wallet, you can’t buy grief away. Don’t deny yourself the gift of healing tears. Work at lifting depression—
think of things that you enjoy and treat yourself. We cannot wait for someone else to give us joy. Take responsibility for
yourself and create your own healing environment. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Look for joy. Celebrate what you do have
instead of listing what you are missing. Your arms may be empty but your memory and heart are full. Light a special candle.
No light that was born in love can ever be destroyed. Embrace the memories. Ask others to help you retrieve pictures, stories
and mementoes of the life you love so dearly. Find the gifts of your loved one’s life. Think of all the gifts your loved one gave
you—joy, safety, laughter, companionship. Write them down and put them in a box or stocking. Spend time with a favorite
photo album, DVD’s. Stockings—hang a stocking, and others to place notes with special memories of your loved one. You have
the option to share these, keep them or surrender to the ashes as a ritual of healing. Tell a story about your loved one. What
are your fears about the holidays? How do you anticipate handling what you fear? What has been the hardest part of the
holiday season so far? How have you handled it? What else can you do? What are your expectations for yourself for the holi-
days? What do you think others expect of you? How can you deal with your expectations? What are your options? What is
on your Holiday Wish list? Your Holiday Compromise List? Did you wish for one more hug from your loved one? Close your
eyes for just a moment and receive one in your heart. Even though death comes, love never goes away.
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OFFERINGS AT ANNUAL BRICK DEDICATION ON SEPTEMBER 25.
It was a beautiful day at the Angel of Hope, with music, memories and a butterfly release to honor our children and dedicate the 24 new bricks added this year.
by Mike & Linda Sherrett, parents of Matthew Sherrett, TCF Omaha
Mother, please don't mourn for me;
I'm still here, though you don't see.
I'm right by your side each night and day
And within your heart I long to stay.
My body is gone but I'm always near
I'm everything you feel, see or hear.
My spirit is free,
But I'll never depart
As long as you keep me alive in your heart.
I'll never wander out of your sight--
I'm the brightest star on a summer night.
I'll never be beyond your reach--
I'm the warm moist sand when you're at the beach. I'm the colorful leaves
when fall comes around,
And the pure white snow that blankets the ground.
I'm the beautiful flowers of which you're so fond--
The clear cool water in a quiet pond.
I'm the first bright blossom you'll see in the spring;
The first warm raindrop that April will bring.
I'm the first ray of light when the sun starts to shine,
And you'll see that the face in the moon is mine.
When you start thinking There's no to love you
You can talk to me through the Lord above you.
I'll whisper my answer through the leaves on the trees,
And you'll feel my presence in the soft summer breeze.
I'm the hot salty tears that flow when you weep
And the beautiful dreams that come while you sleep.
I'm the smile you see on the baby's face.
Just look for me, Mommy, I'm everyplace!
As you release this butterfly in honor of me,
Know that I'm with you and will always be.
Hold a hand, say a prayer, close your eyes and see me there.
Although you may feel a bit torn apart,
Please know that I'll be forever in your heart.
Now fly away butterfly as high as you can go,
I'm right there with you more than you know.
The Compassionate Friends Greater Omaha Chapter will once again be participating in the Festival of Trees held in Atlantic, IA, December 1-4. Festival of Trees, now in it's 25th year, is an annual fundraiser for the Cass County Chapter of the American Cancer Society. The event typically features 90-100 decorated trees, wreaths, vignettes, and/or holiday collections for the public to enjoy. Melanie Petty will be coordi-nating the display on our chapter's behalf.
"I had entered trees in Festival several times over the years - just whatever fun theme struck me at the time," explained Petty. "In 2009, however, I found myself putting up a memorial tree after losing my son, Trevor, in an apartment fire less than six months earlier. That's when Festival took on a whole new meaning for me. Now I see it as an opportunity to honor all our childrens' memories and bring awareness to the Worldwide Candle Lighting the following weekend. I just want people to stop and think for a moment - I don't want anyone to go through what we have to realize the gifts that mean the most can't be found under a tree."
This year, our display will be named "Angels Among Us" and feature a 5-6' tree with white lights and angels cut out of card stock. Our 2011 Nebraska Remembers Banner will hang in the background and each of our children named on the banner will also be represented by an angel on the tree. If you have not had an opportunity to add your child's name to the banner but would like to have an angel on the tree, please contact Melanie Petty [email protected]. After the event, those wishing to have their child's angel may pick it up at the Worldwide Candle Lighting December 11 or the January TCF meeting.
Hours for this year's Festival are December 1 from 10am to 7pm, December 2 from 10am to 6pm, December 3 from 10am to 7pm, and De-cember 4 from 10am to 3pm. The event is held at the Catholic Parish Center, 105 East 5th Street - just one block west of the Atlantic 1&2 Theatre. Admission is free will donation and guests are treated to coffee, hot apple cider, and cookies at no charge. For more information about Festival of Trees, organizers invite you to like them on Facebook.
