Major motives of life

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Motives to love

objectives

• Explain motivation• Compare and contrast intrinsic/ extrinsic

motivation• Analyze the importance of biology in love

Motivation

• Motivation- refers to an inferred process within a person or animal, that causes that organism to move toward a goal or away from an unpleasant situation

• Like emotion, comes from Latin “to move”• Goal may be to get married or avoid marriage,

eat or avoid eating

Defining motivation

An inferred process within a person or animal that causes movement either toward a goal or away from an unpleasant situationIntrinsic motivation: the pursuit of an activity for its own sake

Extrinsic motivation: the pursuit of an activity for external rewards such as money or fame

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Types of motivation

• Intrinsic motivation- for the inherent pleasure of the activity; internal pleasure it provides

• Extrinsic motivation- for an external reward, such as money or fame

The biology of loveNeurological origins of passionate love begin in infancy when infants attach to mother.

Certain neurotransmitters and hormones involved in pleasure and reward are activated in mother-baby, adult lover, and close friend bonds.Endorphins

Functional MRI’s have shown other neurological similarities.Certain parts of the brains light up when people look at pictures of sweethearts and biological children.

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Social animal: motives to love- Biology

• Biological origins of passionate love may begin in infancy- attachment with mother

• Happens when mother-infant blood releases neurotransmitters and hormones involved in pleasure and reward

• Oxytocin- feelings, expression• Endorphins- natural opiates; in mice babies cry,

momma mice licks baby= releases E• Study says- inject pigs with E, less sad when mom

leaves

Psychology of Love

• Two predictors of whom people will love• Proximity: the people nearest are the most

likely dearest• Friends, lovers, from set of people you work

by and live by (Internet tool to weed out)• Similarity: Like attracts like• Looks, attitudes, beliefs, values, personality• Opposites attract= not true

The psychology of love

The need for affiliationThe motive to associate with other people, by seeking friends, companionship, or love

Predictors of loveProximity: choosing friends and lovers from the set of people who are closest to us

Similarity: choosing friends and lovers who are like us in looks, attitudes, beliefs, personality, and interests

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Attachment Theory of Love

• Attachment theory views adults’ love relationships, like those of infants (almost same %)

• How to love-comes mostly from parent models• Secure(65%)- rarely jealous, compassionate, helpful• Avoidant (25%) – distrust, avoid • Anxious-ambivalent(11%)- always admitted about

relationship, close afraid partner leave (clingy)

The attachment theory of love

Like infants to their caregivers, adults have attachment styles to their partners.Secure: rarely jealous or worried about abandonment

Avoidant: distrustful, avoids intimate attachments

Anxious-ambivalent: agitated and worried partner will leave

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Gender, Culture, and Love

• Western Societies, sexes do not differ in feelings of love BUT how they express them

• Women often express love in words• Men often express love in actions (culture says

unmasculine)• Gender differences in love reflect economic and

social forces (whether a person can afford to get married)

• Similarities: passionate love, love at first sight, compassion

Ingredients of love

Sternberg’s triangular theory of lovePassion: euphoria and sexual excitement

Intimacy: being free to talk about things, feeling close to and understood by loved ones

Commitment: needing to be with the other person, being loyal

Ideal love involves all three.

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Summary

• Motivation• Intrinsic/ extrinsic• Bio/psychology of love