Lindsey Moss, MSW, LCSW

Valerie Glascock, LPA

Buffering Stress through Responsive Relationships

How Brains are Built

www.albertafamilywellness.org

What is Needed to Buffer

Toxic Stress?

Presence of warm, nurturing and responsive adult caregivers – in homes, in child care, and in school

Relationships are the “Active Ingredients" of Early Experience

Nurturing and responsive relationships activate the basic connections necessary for building the foundation of healthy brain development

When these relationships are not present, persistent stress results in elevated cortisol levels that impair cell growth and interfere with formation of healthy neural circuits

www.developingchild.harvard.edu

“Still Face” Experiment

Dr. Edward Tronick

Discussion

What happens when the communication link is cut by the mother not responding?

What kinds of chronic stress do our children face?

So How Can We Help?

Stress-Busting Caregivers Provide:

Protection Structure Comfort Coaching

Safety First

Feeling physically and emotionally safe calms the stress response system

Young children depend on supportive relationships for feelings of safety

Establish and provide “safety signals” (blanket, pacifier)

Protect from Danger Cues

Threat alerts the primitive brain; shuts down higher level thought processes

Each of us has our own unique set of “danger cues” (find out about previous

negative experiences) Young children mirror the

emotions of their caregivers

Structuring the Biological Foundation

Sleep

Nutrition

Activity

Structure through Routines

Routines calm and strengthen us by helping us predict what is going to happen– Maintain old routines– Establish new routines and rituals

Daily schedules – what comes next? Rituals, especially when “separating” (ending

visits, child care, bedtime)

Structure through Limits

Limits should emphasize “keeping everyone safe”

Communicate and enforce limits by being: calm, consistent, respectful, firm, and kind

No yelling, threats or sarcasm - threat alerts the primitive brain; shuts down higher level thought processes

Comfort can be an effective part of discipline

Limbic Level Communication

Touch

Tone of voice

Facial expression

Music

Smell

Rocking, other rhythmic motion

Special Guidelines for Children Affected by Toxic Stress

Provide comfort even when child does not seek it – act “as if” the child needs you

Offer comfort and support early – don’t wait until the child has a “meltdown”

Be careful with expressions of annoyance and anger – they can “trigger” dysregulation

Development of Self-Regulation

Managing impulses and emotions is related to connections in the frontal cortex

How well these skills develop depend to a large extent on having a caring adult emotionally available to model, guide, and support self-regulation

Road to Self-Regulation

Self-regulation involves promoting effective connections between the structures of the limbic system and the cortex

Become aware of emotions, then decide how to act, or not act, on them

These skills begin to develop in preschool years - continue developing actively through adolescence

Is Behavior Really the Problem?

Emotion > Behavior

Anger = Fear/Defense

Stressed-out children often ACT angry and aggressive when their threat systems are activated

When we respond with anger or punishment, we simply intensify this response

When we respond with empathy and protective limits, we calm their threat system

Coaching Impulse Control and Coping

Join with the child – loan your cortex Identify and empathize with feelings first Pair language with action to promote

cooperation and problem solving Model optimism and mutual support Promote empathy with others and repair of

relationships Maximize positive emotion

FLIP It Approach

Feelings (label, empathize)

Limits (state limit with kindness)

Inquiry (what would help you feel better/cope?)

Prompts (problem solve together; suggest creative ways child might manage feelings)

Sperry, R. W. (2011) FLIP It: Transforming Challenging Behavior

Coaching through Stories

Self-regulation through narrative – Stories provide order, meaning, and hope– Beginning, middle, and end– Builds connections between limbic and cortical

brain

“I like to be told”- Mister Rogers

Kinds of Narrative

Picture sequences of routines Acting out stories with dolls Picture books related to similar situations Verbal planning of play and other activities Creating specific social stories to help with

problem behaviors Writing about difficult experiences

Pennebaker , J.W. (2004) Writing to Heal; Wilson, T.D. (2011) Redirect

Role of Experience

Repeated use strengthens brain connections

If connections are not used, they are more likely to be “pruned” away

The brain “grows itself” for the environment it experiences

Emotion and relationships appear to play particularly important roles in shaping the brain’s development

Implications for Parents, Teachers, & Caregivers

Your empathy, compassion, emotional and behavioral regulation are models for your children

Your emotional well-being affects your ability to guide and support young children

Quality of relationship with each child is a tool for supporting the development of self-regulation

Be the Grown-Up

Bigger Stronger Wiser Calm KIND!