Life Works Newsletter #4

8/2/2019 Life Works Newsletter #4

1/13

Volume #4 Spring 2012

Realizing vision and futureOne person at a time

Mission StatementLife Works provides

comprehensive supports for

persons with developmental

disabilities to live real lives in

homes of their own. The

primary focus of Life Works is

to support all people to create

full rich lives that reflect

personal choice across home

and community environments.

Calendar of Events

www.lifeworks-sls.com

April 19th & 20th

California Supported Living Network

Leadership Conference

@ The Dana Hotel , San Diego

Movie Nights

Inside Im Dancing March 28

A Beautiful Mind April 25

March 26 from 4:00pm-8:00pm

Celebration and Book Signing Event

A Full Life With Autism: From Learning To

Forming Relationships to Achieving Independence

By Jeremy and Chantal Sicile-Kira

The Poseidon Restaurant

1670 Coast Boulevard

Del Mar CA 92014


2/13

Directors Discussionby Beth Gallagher

A"format"titled"Directors"Discussion"seems"as"though"it"should"hold"space"for"a"

narrative"that"is"lengthy,"educational"and"profound."I"am"not"feeling"that"sort"of"story"

today."I"have"had"a"lot"of"topics"flying"around"my"head"lately."I"thought"today"I"would"jot"

down"some"thoughts"and"just"share"them"with"you."Nothing"too"terribly"tough"to"ponder,"

however"they"are"things"that"may"have"you"tilting"your"head"and"saying,"hmmm.""

I"am"regularly"alarmed"by"how"much"information"we"think"we"know"when"in"actuality"we"know"very"little."By"very"little"I"mean,"virtually"nothing."This"is"

sobering."I"have"been"doing"this"work"for"a"long"time."(Lets"get"real,"it"has"been"

just"shy"of"26"years)"Long"enough"for"sure"to"be"considered,"in"most"professions,"

a"master'craftsman."We"are"just"getting"started.""

Community"is"both"the"hardest"thing"and"the"most"important"thing"for"us"to"work"on.""

The"more"I"think"I"know"someone"the"more"I"dont."" As"a"woman"that"did"not"share"family"with"anyone"labeled"with"a"disability,"I"am"

intensely"curious"about"how"that"experience"has"shaped"those"individuals."Both"positive"and"negative.""I"do"know"that"the"experience"I"had"with"my"3"brothers"

and"one"sister"has"made"dramatic"impact"on"what"type"of"person"I"am"now."Just"

wondering"out"loud.""

What"would"this"world"be"like"if"each"of"us"took"it"upon"ourselves"to"connect"to"another"citizen"who"was"not"connected?""The"unlikeliest"of"connections"can"

change"lives"on"both"ends.""

Over"the"past"5"or"6"decades"the"service"delivery"system"has"wrapped"itself"around"the"neediness"and"deficiencies"of"people"with"disabilities."Peoples"gifts"

have"not"been"acknowledged"therefor"the"reciprocity"necessary"for"true"

relationships"to"grow"is"not"available."And"we"have"the"audacity"to"wonder"why"

people"are"not"surrounded"by"true"friends."We"need"to"get"out"of"the"way"and"

teach"the"real"skills"necessary"for"life"to"be"rich"and"vibrant."Friendship"

"

~"Beth"


3/13

On My Mind~Kirk Hinkleman-Associate Director

A walk through Savannah

As our host, Mr. Tom Kohler, picks Beth and I up

from the Savannah Hilton Head Airport and begins to

immerse us in what he lives and breatheswe find

ourselves driving through what he calls the edges. These

edges are areas of his community where, depending on your socio-economic status, race

and upbringing, some people may not drive or walk through. Mr. Kohler, simply put,

destroys the myth of fear and crime and opens our eyes to a beautiful reality that people

are people no matter what. The people we come across on this initial tour, smile, wave

and offer welcome greetings when we have the opportunity to exchange words. His

purpose was to expose us to this radical juxtaposition of this edge and the safe circle.

The goal is to find people willing to embrace the idea of being a citizen that cares to build

a relationship with another citizen who may live on the edge and bring their life closer

to that safe circle.

This trip was born out of a conversation I had with Mr. Kohler while participating

in the Toronto Summer Institute in 2011. Weve been collaborating on moving his story

of Waddie Welcome and the Beloved Community, a book he wrote about a man whose

life transformed perceptions of what can happen when people are afforded the

opportunity to share their story. Mr. Kohler is the director of Chatham Savannah

Citizen Advocacy, a non-profit organization that gets people who would ordinarily not

meet, to meet. That is it. Beautifully simple. Citizen Advocacy, at its roots, is about

two people sharing their story, forming a relationship, and caring for one another as

citizens who are invested in working toward that beloved community.

During our second day, we embarked on a whirlwind of conversations with

citizen advocates who took the time to sit and learn with us through storytelling. Its this

storytelling that grounds the concept of citizen advocacy. Mr. Kohler says, If you can

keep people in the story, then people will move forward. The people we met shared

their stories, struggles and laughs within these stories, but most importantly, shared the

idea of being a citizen willing to be in a relationship with people who are, in a sense,


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living life-threatening segregation.

Our intention was to learn and is to continue to learn about citizen advocacy in an effort

to bring this to our communities in San Diego. It is a fire that, like a pilot light, has been

ready for some gas. The gas emerged in Toronto last July and was just turned to the

high position during this trip to Savannah. We work and exist in a system basedservice design, one in which we are fortunate to have and are able to offer to people who

live in our communities here at home. But admittedly, what we lack is this sense of pride

in our local community. A pride driving citizens to find a purpose in forming a

relationship with someone, who in turn, become citizens partnered in stumbling

forward toward this common gooda beloved community.

Life Works is an agency that is proud of what, why, how and to whom we

provide services. But stepping outside the systems we work within, we intend to begin

linking citizens, who would ordinarily not have crossed paths, to meet one another and

care for each other. Simply put, partnering people to learn experientially together, rather

than learning about one another through a report. It starts with the willingness to deeply

listen to another persons story and that story never ends, it just begins to look a little

more beautiful.

~Kirk


5/13


6/13

Occupy the Lanterman Act:

Do You Know What You Need to Know?

April 19-20The Dana Hotel

San Diego, California

The 2012 Leadership conference will focus on reclaiming the birthright of all

Californians with developmental disabilities the Lanterman Act. While threatened

often, the Lanterman Act remains law and continues to provide the people we supportan abiding framework for receiving the services they require to live in the community.

We have lined up speakers and sessions that will give you information that will help you

with providing quality supported and independent living services, and give you tools

that you can use right away. The coming year will continue to challenge us fiscally and

CSLN has worked hard to bring you a valuable conference at a very reasonable price.

We have planned a special forum and other activities during the conference for family

members to explore partnerships that will help us to work together to preserve and

strengthen supported living and independent living as viable options for our loved onesand others needing support who dont have family to help advocate on their behalf. The

Parent Forum and other conference activities have been specially crafted for families,

including single-household providers and supported individuals.Go towww.supportedliving.com now and register.


7/13

Recently a chapter of the national siblings network formed in the area. Its a resource for

the brothers and sisters of people with developmental disabilities; information on

educational and health issues, a chance to meet and talk with people who may or may

not share a life experience.

The notice was right there in my e-mail and I printed out a copy. Although its my job,

and certainly my boss job to get the word out on this sort of thing, as we looked at the

flyer, we both swallowed hard. Would we share the info concerning the first local

meeting with our own sons and daughters? We let our words hang in the air. Our

families have been more public than some. Weve been willing to open up our lives to

others, to share our stories as advocates. If not exactly as examples, we have on the

other hand come to acknowledge how important and powerful its been to hear others

stories and we feel an obligation to pay this forward.

Yes, we decided, well share the information about this meeting with our children. We

laughed nervously and said, Whoa! This is a hot potato! We were also moved to tears.

I dont know of any family for whom this the sibling issue - is an easy subject. As a

parent, being able to speak about my challenges and fears with others parents in similar

circumstances is a lifesaver. I quite naturally make the assumption that my children will

gain similar comfort or even celebrate talking with other young people whose brothers or

sisters were like Matt, but thats not the case. Neither of my younger sons has any

interest in participating in disability-related activities and a siblings group is probably

near the top of their Things Not To Do List.

They both know that they are not expected to be their brothers keeper. Some families

demand and expect this. We do not. We have created a special needs trust, however, and

they each have the role of Trustee. When the time comes, they will know which

individuals or organizations to go to for advice concerning their brother. Weve got it

covered, Mom, they both say. And, I am confident that they will advocate for their

brother, they will look out for his welfare and they will in some way be involved in each

others lives. But this is their time. They want some distance. And I understand. I know

that some of their closest friends are still those kids who stood with my sons when they

were being taunted. They were the kids who still came over to play even though they

may have witnessed something weird and strange or even dangerous. They may not

share the sibling/disability experience with my sons, but in a way it bonded them. A

Whoa! This is a Hot Potato!By Kristine Copeland


8/13

good friend is a good friend. Of course, they also have good friends who have no idea

there is an older Copeland brother.

The oldest Copeland brother is Matt and he has autism. Hes 29 years old now; his

brothers are 27 and 22. They are all doing well, are happy and successful in their own

ways, and I am proud of them all. Yet I am still struggling with some of the aspects of

my parenting, both in the past and in the present day. I know my younger sons are

dealing with some very complex emotions concerning their brother and with growing up

with him. We do sometimes talk about it, but it is almost always at my instigation. Was

our familys experience so different than that of other families, whether impacted by

disability or not? Yes and no. There were things that happened in our home and in ourneighborhood schools that were extreme. Kids can be humiliated by having the wrong

shoes! My sons were the brothers of that kid and to this day, neither of them believes

there are others to be found who shared the experience of having a brother like theirs.

There is no one like Matt, one of them said to me. Im finding that Im unable to

recount any of the more difficult examples here; not because I cant remember, but

because I can. My sons can joke about many things, but there are incidents and

memories that still cause them great pain.

Heres a lesson I am learning: My children will seek out solace in places of their own

choosing and share their deepest feelings with their friends and family. They dont want

anything special or organized. Not now.

Oh, and theres this, too they are adults!

Im still going to send them an e-mail about the siblings group. And they will tease me

about it. I love when they do that.

Kristine Copeland is a mother, advocate, and writer from Livonia, Michigan.


9/13

Fearsome Flyer: Engineering a Dream Into a Reality

By Al Holt

As a personal project, to cope with my physical disability, creating an alter ego inspired by

my appreciation of comics, helped me completely reassess my outlook on life. At first, it

was not to my knowledge that comic lovers challenged with disabilities need a role model to

get through each day a bit easier. By becoming disabled in June of 93, my entire perception

on persons with disabilities changed. I mostly care about others, and being a person who

views situations from the outside looking in, it is in my knowledge now that we all need a

superhero to look to in times of doubt.

Towards the beginning of San Diegos International Comic Convention, I was interviewed

by KPBS, and they were interested, as to why the Comic Con attendance has rapidly

increased in the past years. I explained my reasoning, like I did above, but I did not tell her

that I have personally been working on creating such a character to boost self-esteem levels

of persons with disabilities for years, perhaps a decade.

My re-entrance into the education system was difficult, especially when teenagers makeprejudge mental decisions almost always. I was also very subconscious, knowing that I was

the only kid in a wheelchair, plus my eating disorder did not help. My voice sounded so bad

that I tried my best not to talk. A science project first got my idea of a character flowing,

but this was not going to be any ordinary character, I was angry then, in fact I still try to

hide my anger. The cards that life has dealt me are truly difficult to handle, but I am not the

only one playing the game of life. For years, I had no name for my character, finally,

thinking of why Knight Rider was named that, the name fell perfectly, Fearsome Flyer.


10/13

My first chapter was posted to my Myspace blog for some time, so was a second, and

two feature scripts entirely devoted to this character. Finally, I was contacted by amusician from Australia who made me believe in myself. He got me to realize all the

good I can do with story, being challenged daily with chronic pain he too was

empowered. After spending some of my own money, I taught myself how to make and

publish a site for this purpose. Also I personally funded my first comic book, but I cannot

afford to keep doing this. Just recently, I finished a third Fearsome Flyer Feature script,

and the journey does not end here.

Please consider assisting with funding by clicking on the donate button on my site:

www.comicinvasion.org

Support this by buying a digital comic or a t-shirt on my on-line store.

Together we can affect the lives of many.

Thank you,

Alan


11/13

8 Qualities of Remarkable EmployeesForget good to great. Here's what makes a great employee remarkable.

By Jeff Haden | Feb 21, 2012

Great employees are reliable, dependable, proactive, diligent, great leaders and great followers... they possess a

wide range of easily-definedbut hard to findqualities. A few hit the next level. Some employees are

remarkable, possessing qualities that may not appear on performance appraisals but nonetheless make a major

impact on performance.

Here are eight qualities of remarkable employees:

1. They ignore job descriptions. The smaller the company, the more important it is that employees can think on

their feet, adapt quickly to shifting priorities, and do whatever it takes, regardless of role or position, to get things

done.

When a key customer's project is in jeopardy, remarkable employees know without being told there's a problem

and jump in without being askedeven if it's not their job.

2. Theyre eccentric... The best employees are often a little different: quirky, sometimes irreverent, even

delighted to be unusual. They seem slightly odd, but in a really good way. Unusual personalities shake things up,

make work more fun, and transform a plain-vanilla group into a team with flair and flavor.

People who aren't afraid to be different naturally stretch boundaries and challenge the status quo, and they often

come up with the best ideas.

3. But they know when to dial it back. An unusual personality is a lot of fun... until it isn't. When a major

challenge pops up or a situation gets stressful, the best employees stop expressing their individuality and fit

seamlessly into the team.

Remarkable employees know when to play and when to be serious; when to be irreverent and when to conform;

and when to challenge and when to back off. Its a tough balance to strike, but a rare few can walk that fine line

with ease.


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4. They publicly praise... Praise from a boss feels good. Praise from a peer feels awesome, especially when you

look up to that person.

Remarkable employees recognize the contributions of others, especially in group settings where the impact of

their words is even greater.

5. And they privately complain. We all want employees to bring issues forward, but some problems are better

handled in private. Great employees often get more latitude to bring up controversial subjects in a group setting

because their performance allows greater freedom.

Remarkable employees come to you before or after a meeting to discuss a sensitive issue, knowing that bringing

it up in a group setting could set off a firestorm.

6. They speak when others wont. Some employees are hesitant to speak up in meetings. Some are even

hesitant to speak up privately.

An employee once asked me a question about potential layoffs. After the meeting I said to him, Why did you

ask about that? You already know what's going on. He said, I do, but a lot of other people don't, and they're

afraid to ask. I thought it would help if they heard the answer from you.

Remarkable employees have an innate feel for the issues and concerns of those around them, and step up to ask

questions or raise important issues when others hesitate.

7. They like to prove others wrong. Self-motivation often springs from a desire to show that doubters are

wrong. The kid without a college degree or the woman who was told she didn't have leadership potential often

possess a burning desire to prove other people wrong.

Education, intelligence, talent, and skill are important, but drive is critical. Remarkable employees are driven bysomething deeper and more personal than just the desire to do a good job.

8. Theyre always fiddling. Some people are rarely satisfied (I mean that in a good way) and are constantly

tinkering with something: Reworking a timeline, adjusting a process, tweaking a workflow.

Great employees follow processes. Remarkable employees find ways to make those processes even better, not

only because they are expected to but because they just can't help it.


13/13

Luna Sensual

por Elizabeth Rubalcaba

Hoy me siento plena

Entre tus brazos me estremezco,

En la playa fui tuya,

Solo era testigo la luna y el mar.

Con la noche obscura y triste,

Busco pasin entre tus carisias y besos.

La coqueta ilumina al mar rebelde

Se vuelve un tornado.

Luna sensual,

Cmplice de los amantes,

Con tu brillante luz,

Enciende la pasin y el fuego

Me convierto en un solo ser.

Esa noche se volvi clida como mi ser,

Al sentir tus manos recorrer mi cuerpo

La arena fue testigo de nuestro deseo.

Al entregarnos totalmente el uno al otro,

Fui musa de tus carisias

Al amarecer aleja la luna sensual

Solo se entrelaza nuestro destino.

Original work by a

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Life Works Newsletter #4