Alaina represents whatis both simple andcomplicated at NorthStar. On the simpleside, Alaina is apleasure to know andwork with. She isfriendly, pleasant,sincere, and

appreciative. She is reliable and polite, and shedoes work and demonstrates academic progress inher tutorials. On the complicated side, Alaina’ssmile and genuine warmth covered profound feel-ings of anxiety and stress, as she shares in thisessay. These feelings made it difficult for Alaina tobe inside our building, and many of our membersand staff hardly knew who she was. Fortunately,North Star staff member Susannah Shefferconnected with Alaina, and provided the nuancedand multi-layered support that Alaina needed tomake homeschooling work for her. In this case, wewere the right match, and Alaina’s life isdramatically improved. Still, I consider Alaina’scase to be worthy of reflection: it was simple to saythat a person suffering in school needs analternative such as homeschooling, but it wascomplicated to provide the actual support she andcontinued

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Fall

2008

Alaina

Welcome to YearThirteen of North Star!We are settled in ournew home, and we areenjoying our largelynew group of members.The scene at North Staris active, friendly, andhopeful. At our firstparent meeting this fall,parents expressed onerepeating question:“How does this actuallywork out?” Eachparent shared movingstories of having theirchild be happier thanhe or she has been inyears, but the concernpersists: “How doesbeing happy translateinto getting intocollege? What will mychild have, or need tohave, to get on to thenext stage of life?”

This issue of LiberatedLearners directlyaddresses thesequestions in moving,inspirational ways.Alaina Fox, 17, ismoving on from NorthStar this fall to pursueher dreams of workingwith horses and eventu-ally enrolling in theEquine Studiesprogram at UMass.Vlad Blanton, 20, isnow thriving at ReedCollege in Oregon.Staff member JohnSprague reminds usthat his sons have goneon to successful college

her mother needed for this approach to be realisticand meaningful. Her essay is a testament to theinsights and experience of Susannah as much as itis to homeschooling, and I am grateful to Alainafor her willingness to share her story. —K.D.

vvv

As a child I thoroughly enjoyed school. I had morefriends than I could have ever hoped for. I gotalong with my teachers and classmates, and,strangest of all, I loved doing homework. Thingscontinued smoothly until around the 5th grade. Iwasn't keeping up with the rest of the class when itcame to math, and the fact that my teachers mademe move on to different kinds of math before I'dfully grasped the first one made things so muchharder than they had to be. I was too stressed forsomeone so young, and academically speakingthings just went downhill from there.

Soon, I was starting middle school atAmherst Regional Middle School. Although Icame home crying the first day (since I had nofriends in any of my classes), middle school grewon me. I made new friends. I joined the chorus afterdropping violin. I liked the majority of my classes,especially German. However, after the first quarter,things began to slip downwards once again. I feltso uninspired, and was so used to getting grades onthe lower end of the spectrum, that I simplystopped trying. I rarely studied for anything. Myteachers didn't show any interest in me doing well,either. It was like trying to achieve in a worldwhere no one truly cared if you passed or failed.

The worst part came at the end of the year.Don't ever say the word “Exhibitions” to a studentwho's ever been to ARMS. Exhibitions were end-of-the year presentations which took months ofprep and research, ending with a 10-15-minuteposter presentation which was delivered to stu-dents, parents, and teachers. To put it simply, theywere hell, and put a ridiculous amount of stress onstudents. However, I did end up discoveringsomething positive about myself that I'm glad I did.My presentation focused on animal testing (I wasagainst it, of course) and another girl’s was onvegetarianism. It was after that that I became avegetarian and an animal rights activist, which I'mquite proud of. But besides that, exhibitions were awaste of precious time and energy.

So then came 8th grade, and it was thenthat my stress truly began to set in. More pressurewas put onto grades. I was teased occasionally bystudents for numerous things; stupid things.Friends I'd known since kindergarten left me,deciding that they were too cool to be seen hangingaround me.

Before I knew it, 9th grade was likemiddle school all over again, except that when thestress returned, it came back five times as strongand brought with it a swell of depression. Stressaffects my body; quite severely, actually. By thebeginning of 10th grade I was missing so muchschool that I felt overwhelmed just being in class.They were discussing things I'd never heard ofbecause of all of the absences. I fell so far behindthat it was impossible to catch up, even if I wantedto. And then there was the medical testing. Oh, thetesting! To put it simply, stress affects my stomach.I developed severe acid reflux and began takingNexium for it. My doctor did so many tests andcouldn't find anything except for the fact that I was“kind of” lactose intolerant and that I did have acidreflux, which we had previously found out when Iwas in the 4th grade. However, even with thistreatment, things didn't improve.

It was around the beginning of 10th gradethat I began seeing a therapist. She was trulysincere in wanting to help me, and not so that I gotan A on a paper or passed Ancient History; shereally wanted to help me to improve my life. Afterfighting endless stress for over a year, I startedlooking up the possibility of homeschooling. Atfirst I considered online school, studying forclasses over the internet and being mailed adiploma if one passed. Although dull, it seemedlike a solution at the time. Leave school butcontinue to work towards a high school diploma. Itdidn't fly with my mom, however, but I wasn'tabout to give up yet.

I will probably never forget my oldtherapist for the gift she gave me: a North Starbrochure. She said it was old and she wasn't sure ifthey were still around, but I should give them acall. To see what would come up, I googled NorthStar Teens and found the site. I was ecstatic! I canclearly remember the sensation of feeling as if I'dstumbled upon some mysterious beacon of light.Somehow, I convinced my mom to give North Star

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and professionalcareers (Tibet to BrownUniversity and aninnovative computerprogramming company;Miro to ManhattanSchool of Music andlife as a jazz pianist.)

Still, one wonders, howexactly does thishappen? Students don’tget accepted to collegebecause they arehappy! Certainly, beinghappy is not the sameas having the skillsneeded to write papers,take tests, and meetdeadlines. And beinghappy does not ensurefinding a job orprofession in ourdifficult economy.Parents of young teenswant to know howleaving school leads tosuccess, because thiscontrasts with everycultural message theyhave received up to thispoint.

I have both aphilosophical and apractical answer tothese concerns, onethat I hope will beamplified by the essaysthat follow.Philosophically, we canall agree that being“happy” is notsufficient. Blissfulignorance or avoidanceis no way to live ameaningful life. “Being

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a call. I stayed on the line while my mom talkedwith Ken. She was so reluctant, but she set up ameeting nevertheless.

Before I left school completely, my momwanted to check in with my guidance counselor tosee what she thought, and she didn't like the idea.“You wouldn't do well in a homeschoolingenvironment,” she said to me. “You need structureto succeed.” She also told me I needed testing tosee if I had ADD or ADHD. I was flabbergasted.Here I was, only two months into the school year,and this woman thought my poor grades, sky-highstress level, and depression were being caused byAttention Deficit Disorder. I felt as though myview of this school and its teachers had truly beenaffirmed. It was as if they didn't want to help metowards the solution. They were trying to comfortme with some testing and then sugar coat it with a“You need school structure to succeed.”

The tests made me feel as though I was 5years old. They made me create shapes withblocks, and look at pictures to find what wasmissing. Somehow they decided I had depressionand ADD. They then held a meeting in which two

of them would attend, my mom, and three of myteachers to help discuss a plan to “get me back ontrack.” Only one of my teachers ended upattending, and she didn't have enough time to staymore than (literally) 10 minutes of the scheduledhour. My English teacher was supposed to attend.He didn't; he saw me in the hallway and turned theother way. Needless to say he didn't want to bethere any more than I did. It was a pointlessmeeting that ended up in me leaving school onmedical leave and having a tutor from the schoolhelp me in three classes. However, I stopped thatafter only two months or so, when I began home-schooling full time.

It wouldn't be until the fall of what wouldbe my 11th grade year in school that things wouldfinally fall into place. Until then I struggled to finda balance between free time and studying and todiscover what was important to me because ofwhat I wanted, and what had become “important”to me because of what other people thought Iwanted. Someone who helped me get through thatperiod of time was Susannah Sheffer, who I’vebeen meeting with once a week for an hour at

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happy” is a shortcutphrase to somethingmuch more profound: areadiness and a desireto take risks, makecommitments, anddevelop skills. “Beinghappy” signifies acapacity to engage theworld, to meet newpeople, to join neworganizations. Itindicates havingambition and vision foroneself. I was justdiscussing Maslow’spyramid with a teen atNorth Star: one needscertain basic needs metbefore one can move onto self-esteem andperhaps self-actualiza-tion. Whether or notyou accept Maslow’stheory, it does makesense that teens, andadults as well, need tofeel some safety andsome sense of controlover their lives beforethey can take seriousrisks and make seriouscommitments.Homeschooling is thefirst step toward self-control that most of ourmembers need toreadjust their ownexpectations about theirlives. With supportiveparents and a usefulprogram such as NorthStar, our members canbegin to expressambitions they didn’tknow they had or thatthey had put on hold

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awaiting a presumedhigh school graduation.

I believe that many ofour parents accept thisphilosophicalstatement, which is whythey have pulled theirchildren from schooland joined North Star.But there is stillconfusion about whathappens next: “Howand when will my childget a vision and starttaking risks and proveto colleges or employersthat he or she iscapable?” My practicalanswer is a bit circularand anticlimactic: “Bydoing it.Homeschoolers moveon by moving on. It justhappens.” This may notfeel specific orreassuring, but it’s true.Read Alaina’s piece,and try to identify thekey moment in hertransition: getting herfirst job at a horsestable? Her second job?Signing up for a collegecourse? Getting herGED? Remember she isjust 17, and theseexperiences will add upto an impressivepresentation when sheapplies to the Universityof Massachusetts.Vlad’s current essaydoesn’t detail his trailfrom North Star tocommunity college andwork to acceptances at

Rao’s, a café in Amherst, since right around thetime that I left school. I’ve been sharing thoughtsand all kinds of different writing with her. If Ihadn’t started those meetings with Susannah, I’mwondering if I could’ve made it through this far.

Things truly began to improve once I gotmy GED in December of 2007. It was like a raincloud of stress disintegrated. The following monthI began working at Muddy Brook Farm in SouthAmherst. I had started up horseback riding lessonsin November ‘07 at Stoneleigh Burnham(Greenfield) before that, which had sparked mypassion for riding horses. There is something aboutriding a horse that sets you free from any amountof negative feeling; thus, I loved it. I nowpassionately work and ride at two barns: theUMass barn in Hadley, and at Muddy Brook Farm.I had my first experience of giving pony rides tochildren just recently and loved it. Anyone whorides horses can tell you that it's not just a simplehobby. Once you fall ill with “the horse bug”you're infected for life. In the fall I am going to trya writing class in hopes of readying myself for theacademic life of college, for it's now a dream ofmine to attend the UMass Equine Studies programfor 4 years to become a licensed trainer andpossibly instructor. I also hope to become anEquine Behaviorist, to understand why horses dowhat they do and how to apply that to trainingthem.

It's taken a while, but things are finallyfalling into place. My mom got married on May17th, and we all moved to South Deerfield this pastsummer. I'm about to get my license. I have anawesome job and I'm looking forward to so manythings. I can't even imagine where I'd be today if Ihadn't left school. Although my presence at NorthStar has been limited throughout the year, it'shelped me more than I think I even realize. Thisfall I'd be a senior still trapped in high school, stillsuffering from immense stress and anxiety, whichwas brought on little by little over the years fromschool. It just happened that 10th grade was theyear when I just couldn't take it anymore.

Although I'm not cured from all anxietyand stress, I'm able to manage it now. My life isfinally making more sense than it ever has, whichmeans the world to me. To anyone who's evenmildly considering this alternative lifestyle we call

homeschooling, I can't stress how much you shouldlook into it. North Star is there for you howeveryou need it – and not even necessarily by spendingtime in the North Star building. When I startedmeeting with Susannah (at first we agreed to meetand talk about books), I preferred to meet inAmherst rather than at North Star because I didn’tfeel comfortable meeting at North Star. Eventhough North Star isn’t at all like school, for me atthat time, just being in a group of teenagers alltogether in one place felt too much like school andmade me too anxious.

Later I started meeting with Ken, at NorthStar, once a week for math tutoring, which turnedinto me writing out North Star’s checks andlearning to keep track of them all on the computer,which I truly enjoyed. But besides that, I was rarelythere at all. I was mostly writing and studying onmy own and loving every moment of free time Ihad. So when I say, “North Star is there for youhowever you need it,” I mean that they are willingto help and guide you in any direction you want togo. That’s why I love North Star. They’re nottelling you that you have to learn A, B, and C.When you find something that you want to learnmore about, they’ll help you do that in any andevery way that they can. North Star has openeddoors for me that I never would have known toexist if I had stayed in public school. This journeyhas truly changed my life for the better.t

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It’ s been seven yearssince Vlad arrived atNorth Star with hisparents as adiscouraged eighthgrader. If ever therewas a youth feelingconstrained byschooling, it was Vlad.

He spent three years at North Star recovering,exploring, and making friends. He moved on as aconfident 17-year-old to work, college, and evenreturned to North Star as a volunteer. After a shortfalse start at full-time college at Bates, he is now,at age 20, in his second year at Reed College inOregon. He has described his trail of activities inprevious essays for Liberated Learners, and it is atale that demolishes the fear that teens who don’tgo to school won’t have exposure to a range oftopics and experiences. Here, he reflects on howhis growing up as a homeschooler contributes tohis success at an elite liberal arts college. —K.D.

vvv

At Reed College, I have found that thecommon universal experience for studentsis one of unending intellectual rigor,perpetual preparation for open conferenceclasses, and a "life of the mind" as is oftenquoted in college guidebook literature. But,what isn't mentioned as often is that this type ofenvironment creates a stress-culture that isextremely difficult to navigate. I have witnessedhow many of my peers have suffered from beingunable to balance school assignments and personalfulfillment. And I have felt it too; I have struggledto balance out just as much as everyone else, butone day I realized that my pals were asking me"how is that you seem to have everythingtogether?" too often for it to be coincidental. In themiddle of tough weeks, such as those when I hadclose to a thousand pages of reading and a coupleof papers to be working on, I would sometimes besurprised by friends coming up to me and tellingme about their personal difficulties and askingwhether I had any insight on their feelings andinner processes. That is when I realized that I wasdoing it all with more consciousness and

both Bates and Reed,but you should knowthat he did not ever geta GED or obtain anykind of high schooldiploma. John Spragueloves telling how hissons moved on fromhomeschooling to theiryoung adult liveswithout any obstacles(just ask him!). Thetruth is, our culture iswide open toself-confident youngpeople who demonstrateinitiative, commitment,and risk-taking. Alainaand Vlad would not bebetter off with highschool diplomas. Johnwould not have moresuccessful children ifonly they hadtraditional high schoolexperiences. John,Susannah, Catherine,and I (and the rest ofthe North Star staff)would not be having amore useful impact onour members if only wewere inside the systemof schooling.

Homeschoolers haveknown anddemonstrated that onecan learn without goingto school and that onecan go to college orthrive in the workplacewithout a high schooldiploma. North Star isnot “discovering” thistruth; we are making itpossible for ordinary

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understanding of the process than anyone elsearound me. It was then when I started re-thinkingabout how my experience at Reed was differentfrom others’ in my class because of the gifts Ireceived from the unschooling experience.

North Star has gifted me with a toolkit todraw upon which has proved to be priceless forstaying healthy, afloat, and getting the most out ofReed with as little stress as possible. At North Star,I learned to trust in the validity of my own passionsand interests, and I learned not be afraid to take thenecessary steps to begin learning – whether it wasabout a new subject or whether it was aboutmyself. When I first came to North Star, Iremember feeling that I finally had the chance todrop my adopted lack of motivation and beginexploring new avenues of learning. But it took awhile; nearly two years later I had finally unwoundenough from traditional schooling to regain myenjoyment of the learning process. Next was theslightly daunting process of learning about myself,which was inevitable given the nature of thepersonalized unschooling experience North Starprovided me. And it was the strengths resultingfrom these new methods of learning which I nowconsider my lifelong tools. These tools have given

me my base for "getting the most out of my collegeexperience" and still be able to garner amazinglessons and experiences that come from simplyexperiencing and trusting in my own life path.

It is not that everything has been runningsmoothly, but I am no longer afraid because I knowthat the learning process can be a tumultuous one.I have learned that I often need to remind myselfabout my goals, and double check whether or not Iam being honest with myself – during dailyinteractions, in the classroom, when writing apaper, and when making sure to commit to mypersonal needs outside of the often hectic schoolenvironment. But, from North Star, I haveessentially learned how to take care of myselfbased on the knowledge and strength I have gainedfrom trusting in my brightness and uniqueness. Inow know about what makes me happy andhealthy, and how I learn best. And often it comes tolearning to trust my inner intuition, and to followmy heart even when around me there is so muchpain around the learning process, a process which Inow know deep inside has the potential to be oneof ultimate fulfillment.t

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teens and families toutilize this approach.Your support for ourprogram is as essentialas ever. I hope thatthese stories inform andinspire you to continuesharing our perspectivewith others.

News and Notes

Associate DirectorCatherine Gobron hasrevamped our calendarof classes and activities,creating slots for moreshort-term workshopsas well as ourtraditional ongoingclasses. Short-termworkshops haveincluded: VanMaintenance (save theNorth Star van!),Mural Painting(beautify North Starwalls!), and Gardening(landscape North Star’sfront yard!) Otherworkshops have beenon History, Music, andTheater. The time hasbeen used for trips to acomputer gamedesigner, the AmherstCollege Planetarium,and the Prison BookProject, as well as forsome hiking andbiking.

The ongoing coursesinclude those from last

H E Y, W H E R E D I D E V E R Y B O D Y G O?

T h i s f a l l , N o r t h S t a r s a w a n u n u s u a l l y h i g h n u m b e r o f i t s m e m b e r s m o v e o n .

W h a t a r e t h e y d o i n g n o w ?

Ariana is in the full-time professional track at Nimble Arts Circus School. Drew is enrolled in a resi-dential tennis academy in Tennessee. Oshi and Hannah are working in Vermont picking apples andtraveling. Rebecca is enrolled in three music courses at Holyoke Community College. Marissa isworking full time and has moved in with friends in Hadley. Will is in Ecuador with KrokaExpeditions. Adam is farming full-time on his own land. Katie is formally studying herbology andalso taking a course at Hampshire College. Emma is fully enrolled at Holyoke Community College,and is working at North Star! (and laying out this publication.) Sophie is taking an art class atSpringfield Technical Community College and pursuing an art internship. Gabriel is now living inColorado. Henri is taking three courses at Greenfield Community College (photography, art, English)and is working at 10,000 Villages in Northampton. Shelby is working at three jobs: timber framing,farming with Adam, and dishwashing. Kathe is taking three courses at Holyoke Community College,working for a company that bottles flower essences, and studying herbology through an apprentice-ship. Javin is creating his own bread bakery business. Bagheera is taking courses at GreenfieldCommunity College. Wadada is inventing graphic and non-graphic novels.

Thomas, Zane, Kyle, Chris, Samantha, Patrick, and Vlad have chosen to enroll in high school.

John is one of the tinyhandful of people whohave been with North

Star from its verybeginning. His sonTibet was in my 8thgrade class when I wasstill teaching, and Tibet

left school with me when North Star opened in1996. John’s son Miro was a member for six years.John has volunteered and served on the Board ofDirectors. His parents are supporters of NorthStar; his nephew was also a member for threeyears. He is the opening speaker on the North Starpromotional DVD. When North Star moved into itsnew home last year and we needed more paid staff,it was an easy decision to ask John to shift fromhis role of volunteer teacher to staff member. Johnnot only loves North Star as a program, he lives itin his own life. He is a lifelong learner, constantlycurious and wondering about all sorts of interest-ing ideas. He enjoys teens, and, clearly, many ofour teens enjoy him. He is a central part of theNorth Star story, and here he shares his reflectionson becoming a staff member. —K.D.

vvv

I have been involved with North Star since the dayit opened twelve years ago – first as a parent, thenas a volunteer teacher and board member, and nowas staff. I am drawn to work at North Star becauseI want to offer to other teens the same kind ofsupport and respect that I, together with North Star,was able to give my two sons over a seven-yearperiod.

I myself was educated in a verytraditional way – going to a private country dayschool, then public junior high, then prep school(Exeter), and then Amherst College. Consideringmy background, and considering the currentclimate in education – which focuses onmandatory testing and encouraging young peopleto stay in school – it’s amazing to find myselfenthusiastically involved in a diametricallyopposed approach. Here we support kids to leaveschool and take charge of their own education.Here we give no tests, and are fine with teensspending their time just hanging out and talking.Here we treat teens with respect. It is truly eye-

opening to see how this approach can yieldequivalent results -– in terms of getting intocollege, and having a successful work-life –to conventional approaches, and our teensare much happier and have the time to focustheir own passions.

I love seeing how the North Star approachcan serve such a wide range of kids. We havedriven, high achievers; we have kids with learningdisabilities; we have intellectual geeks, andrevolutionary freaks. All of them coexist in abeautifully tolerant atmosphere. All of themreceive equal support to be themselves anddiscover the path that best meets their needs.

A special joy for me over the past coupleyears has been my world religions class. Everyweek we take some aspect of the vast world ofcomparative religion – for example, readings fromthe Sufi poets of Islam – and use it as a springboardfor wide ranging philosophical discussions of life’sbiggest questions – the meaning of existence; isthere a god; death and rebirth; how to being peaceto our world. Teenagers have a bad rap. There issuch energy and creativity in their thinking whenyou give them a chance to explore. The far-rangingconversations we have in world religions class areas interesting and thoughtful as any I had in collegeor graduate school. The same goes for therelationships that I have developed with teens atNorth Star.

I love being a part of the North Starcommunity: I feel like I am part of a trailblazingexperiment in education, an experiment which hasalready transformed the lives of several hundredteens and their families, including my own.t

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year such as WritingWorkshop, SocialIssues, World Religions,Theater, Capoeira,Anthropology, andEvolutionary Biology.New courses includeMoney (sponsored by agenerous donation fromNorth Star’s bank,NorthamptonCooperative Bank),Reincarnation Studies,and Mobiles.

In publicity news,North Star was featuredon National PublicRadio’s The Best ofOur Knowledge in July.One link to the show is:http://www.wamc.org/prog-tbook.html It isShow #929.

The AshokaFoundation, whichrecognizes and supportssocial entrepreneurs,read the preliminaryapplication from NorthStar’s co-foundersJoshua Hornick andKenneth Danford andapproved this proposalto the second round, aninterview which wasconducted inSeptember. We arehonored to berecognized by Ashoka,and we look forward tohearing more feedbacklater this year.

John

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⊳ North Star members

135 Russell Street (Route 9)Hadley MA 01035

413. 582.0193 or 582.0262www.northstarteens.org

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North Star

Contributions like yourshelp fund our operatingcosts. We rely on dona-tions to generate memberscholarships, staffsalaries, and improve-ments to our space andresources. Please help uscontinue to grow.

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North Star is a project ofLearning Alternatives, Inc, anon-profit corporation underMassachusetts Law andSection 501(c)(3) of theInternal Revenue Code.

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Thanks for yourgenerosity.

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