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collaborative uni project
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Let�’s Beanimals
£4.50 Spring 2012 Isuue 1
www . l e t s b e . c o . u k
OO
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Editors
Illustrators
Animals
Georgia Weaving / Katie Lansdowne / Char Craven
Katie Lansdowne / Georgia Weaving / Amelie Whittingham / Daisy Harman /
Lauren Williams/ Char Craven
Frank / Norman / Poppy / Tess / Phil / Kevin / Florence / Oscar / Pat / Tommy &
Friends / Lula / Shanique / Sally / Simon / Richard the rat / Flo / Family of mice /
Cassie / James / Henry / Dandelion / Burdock
OO
Contents
Pretty things
Voxpop
Lets follow a cat
Hedgehog party
Guinea pig hotel
Stories from home
James in blue and red
The snail that snored
Lula’s eggy recipes
Dogs at the car boot
Springtime seagulls
Dreams
Revolting Rhymes
Mice in the fridge
Flo’s symphony
Activities
Cat personalities
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08
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prettypretty prettypretty prettypretty prettyprettyO6 p r e t t y
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thingsthingsthingsthingsthingsthingsthingsthingspretty O7t h i n g sphotographs by Katie
if i could change one thing...
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Tess
Phil
I would not be in a picture with this crazy animal
I would be the King of England.. .look at my wave..this is my wave
�“I�”
�“I�”
Florence
�“ I�”I would be able to smile. You just know I’d have such good teeth
Oscar I wouldn’t have such bad hair. Whatever I do - comb it, gel it, blow-dry it. .nothing works! Is that really vain?
�“I�”
PatI would make the world sunny every day - I love sunbathing�“ I�”
sxc.hu
All Im
ages, editors own/sxc.hu
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Let�’sfol low a cat
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We never really own cats. I f they choose to l ive in our homes and eat our food then that may only
be a temporary choice. The cat is a mysterious creature that wil l never really trust you. We can
never really know what i t is thinking, what i t wants or where i t goes when it leaves the house at night.
My cat used to come home as the sky was gett ing l ight. I would come down to f ind him prowling the
hall with his huge night eyes on and a fresh cut on his head. I never fol lowed my cat and I always
wondered where he went with those wary eyes, out into the darkness to f ind adventure.
On a Tuesday, I saw a cat. It was sitting a wall slowly washing its paw. Lick, l ick, l ick. It turned slowly and looked at me as I stood watching it. We made eye contact, it studied me lazily for a moment and resumed its licking. On a Wednesday, I saw the cat again. It was sat on the pavement flicking its tail angrily. It looked at me again. There was no study in its gaze this time, only disdain. It looked away quickly and flitted away behind some overgrown railings. I stood, transfixed for a moment before walking quickly forward and opened a gate further down the fence. I found myself in someone’s garden. I hadn’t realised from the road because it was so overgrown. I wavered for a moment, the word trespassing flashing through my mind. The cat had paused next to an overturned garden chair. It dipped its head into a puddle and lapped one, two three times before shaking its head. Drips slid down its whiskers and disappeared into the air. Quickly, it moved, slinking off through the fence at the back of the garden. With no hesitation this time, I followed. Slightly crouched I ran quietly through the foliage, hopping over rusting bikes, dog toys and crushed cans. I saw the cat in the distance as it slunk down the street and panicked. There was no gate on this side. Without thinking, I found myself grasping the fence and pulling myself up. Flakes of rust and old paint crumbled in my palms. With one foot up I
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over here, under there
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hopped down onto the hard ground. The balls of my feet throbbed through my thin shoes. Then, I was running - not sprinting, but definitely not walking - in the direction of the cat. I turned a corner at the end of the road and saw it. It had stopped outside a church for a moment. Quietly, I edged closer until my back was against the stone wall of the old building with the cat around the corner. Two old women walked past with tartan shopping trolleys. The wheels clattered on the tarmac and I worried it would startle the cat. It looked round at them for a moment before following the wall of the church and disappearing over a low wooden fence. I peered over the slats. It was a small vegetable patch where tomatoes climbed faded poles and green sprouts burst from the til led soil . Bags of soil leant up against the side of the fence. A small shed that backed the church sat in the corner of the garden. The door gaped open, plant pots and sacking lined the ground in the doorway. The cat was sat on them and had begun the slow and precise movement of washing. Lick, l ick, l ick. I watched it for a while before admitting defeat. The fence was too high to climb and it was getting dark. As I was turning away the cat flicked its eyes at me for a moment before resuming its task. I walked home and wondered where it had gone next. As I walked home I thought about where it was going to sleep at night and where it l ived. When I got home I wondered who fed it. On a Thursday, I bought some tuna and went looking for a cat.
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There’s nothing quite like the excitement of waking up at the crack of dawn to go on an adventure. The alarm was set to 6.00am, but the hedgehogs had already been awake for an hour before Andy finally arose from his deep slumber. It was time to pack the car. Andy’s parents had specifically told him and his little brother and sister that they were only allowed to bring with them five toys each - but Andy had other plans. Whilst his Mum and Dad were busy packing their journey snack-boxes, Andy sneaked out to the car and began placing all of his thirty hedgehogs atop the rear window ledge, one by one, allowing each hedgehog a great view out in preparation for the two-and-a-half hour journey that they were soon to embark on. When his parent’s saw the array of hedgehogs neatly lined up in rows and rows, they couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight. It certainly would lighten the moods of any cranky commuters on the
on adventuresHedgehogs
15
motorway, they thought. And so, the rule for only five toys was lifted. However, Andy’s little sister Katie was not at all happy about the arrangement. The hedgehogs were taking up precious toy space. If she were allowed more than five toys, it was only right that she had a third of the ledge space. Little Katie’s temper rose more and more, her voice gradually becoming louder and louder in her absolute indignation at the situation. Urged on by haste and fury, she reached inside the car and grabbed Andy’s favourite hedgehog, Tommy - who was also the biggest hedgehog among them - and kicked him into the flower beds. Upon realising what she had just done, Katie began to sob uncontrollably. Tommy was not only Andy’s favourite - he was like one of the family, and was dear to all of their hearts. Katie carefully lifted Tommy out of the flowers and brushed his fur with her delicate fingers before hugging him close. She hoped and prayed that he would forgive her for her horrid actions, and vowed never to harm poor Tommy ever again.
www.letsbe.co.ukwords and il lustrations by Katie
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words and i l lustrations by Georgia with help from Dandelion and Burdock
Guinea pig hotelDandelion and Burdock packed up their troubles and went away for a week in the country. They chose not to go abroad because Burdock gets a funny tummy if he eats anything unusual, and Dandelion really doesn’t care for flying or travelling by sea. Burdock had packed some treats from home just in case the food there wasn’t to his taste, something that he had been worrying about ever since they booked the trip. Dandelion thought it was nonsense and said that part of the fun of going away was trying something new. Burdock mumbled under his breath that they could try new things if they were to travel any more than half an hour down the road. Truth is, this is exactly how far they were travelling. Dandelion had booked them a suite at a charming guinea pig hotel called PiggieWiggies in a small vil lage that was comfortably close to home, but stil l far enough that they could get some country air.
The guinea pig hotel catered to all sorts of guinea pigs and each suite was delightfully named. Dandelion and Burdock were to stay in the Mint Mansion, although this had been a close call - Dandelion had been tempted by the Parsley Palace, which just so happened to be Burdock’s favourite snack. But, in the spirit of adventure, he had booked the Mint Mansion and was feeling ever so reckless about it all .
They arrived at the hotel on a misty morning and tipped the taxi driver for being so patient with Dandelion’s constant requests for him to slow down, as well as Burdock’s complaints that the music was
far too loud. They were welcomed into the hotel by a very gracious host and relaxed into their fabulous suite on the fifth floor. Burdock relaxed considerably when he saw the menu included a parsley special. They spent a lovely week relaxing in their room, taking in the air, the grounds, and chatting away to other holidaying guinea pigs. They both agreed that next year they would return, and might even consider staying in the Carrot Croft if Dandelion was feeling particularly spontaneous.
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Stories from homeWords by Frank, with help from CharI l ive in a little house with my human sister Lucy and mum Helen. Being the only pet, I ’m always the centre of attention and love getting into mischief. I ’m very energetic and like going on lots of walks around the Yorkshire countryside. I ’m only a little dog, but I can walk for hours without getting tired, so I usually go out two or three times a day. My favourite place is the canal. I see lots of ducks swimming around and I l ike to bark at them until mum tells me to stop.
I spend the rest of my time pottering around the house and sitting in the windowsill . I see so much there – other dogs passing by with their owners, children walking home from school, but the best of all are the motorbikes. The noise makes me jump a little bit, but I get very excited when I hear it because it means that one is on its way.
In the evening, I wait patiently for my favourite time of the day. As soon as I hear biscuits clashing into my bowl I know it’s time. Mixed in with delicious meat and gravy, I eat it so fast that it ends up all over my face. It’s always a race to lick it off before mum comes to clean me up.
After that, I settle down and curl up on the sofa. I push pillows around until I find a comfy position, and get ready for my favourite television programme. As the Coronation Street theme tune plays, my ears prick up and I stare blankly at the screen. I don’t know why I l ike it but I do.
I paw the kitchen door open to crawl into bed. Waking up to a new day, I’m ready to cause more mischief and eat more scrummy food.
All Im
ages, editors own
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I came to live with the Woolford family a couple of years ago because I was getting tired of living at busy stables with lots of other horses. I’m getting older now and just like the company of my little friend Monarch the Shetland pony.
I sleep in a cosy stable in the family garden with Monarch snuggled up next door. I can hear the chickens clucking sleepily in their coop outside. When it get’s cold, I wear my coat and Mrs
Words by Norman, with help from Georgia
Woolford takes me out to the field to graze. In the winter, it is misty and I can smell cooking from the houses in the village. In the autumn there are always bonfires burning and the smoke drifts up into the air while the leaves crunch under my hooves. Spring is warmer and I don’t need my coat anymore.
I run around my field and eat the fresh new grass covered with dew in the morning. I get up even earlier in the summer because I want to go out and see the sun, Mrs Woolford comes and gets me up and leads me down the lane to my field where I roll around and enjoy the warmth on my back. I go out for rides once a week, we run down the and all the way to the big park where I see other horses. When I come home I am always hungry, I eat in my little house. I know it’s dinnertime when I hear the creak of the door of the shed where it’s kept. The smell of fresh hay and oats gets closer and closer and I get very excited about my tasty food. Sometimes my owner will try and give me a brush while I’m eating but I get very grumpy and just want to focus on my dinner so I tell her to go away because it’s dinner time now.
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My name is Poppy and I’m the boss of the house. I l ive inside, just because I can. I even have my own en-suite room. Well, I did have a whole flat to myself until an intruder called Blackberry came and cluttered up the place. I had to share my room with her for a while but luckily for me, she’s now out of my sight in her own cage around the corner.
Blackberry is the most untidy bunny I ever have met, and she is so very immature! She also pokes fun at my size, calling me fat. I say I’d rather be fat than a dwarf, and at least I can hop and skip outside without getting shiveringly cold. Such a silly little bunny is Blackberry.
When Mum and Dad are home I’m allowed to escape and roam the house. This is my special time because it means I can run away from Blackberry, and her tiny little legs can never catch up with mine.
My favourite things at the moment are cardboard boxes. Mum and Dad bring them in all kinds of shapes and sizes, sometimes I even have a brand new one every day. I get in ever such terrible moods, especially now I’m having to share my flat with Blackberry, and sometimes I can tear the cardboard to shreds in a matter of seconds.
Dad sometimes records me on his camcorder whilst I’m busy playing with my cardboard box. Depending on my mood, I might get funny about this, but usually I l ike the attention (especially when Blackberry is lost somewhere around the house).
The best feeling in the world is when Mum and Dad stroke the bridge of my nose and the little fluffy bit just behind my neck. I am a lucky Bunny, really, but I just simply can not get on with Blackberry! I don’t think Mum likes her very much, either, so she might not be here for much longer.
Words by Poppy, with help from Katie
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James wears vintage silk tie
James wears vintage 80�’s shirt
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James in blue and redphotography by Georgia
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James wears vintage scarf
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James wears vintage denim and scarf
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The snoredthatsnail
There once was a snail called Kevin. He l iked doing what snails do best �– sl iding around, cleaning his shell and collecting pennies. Unusually, he was most known for his sleeping habits - cuddling up every night in the hole of a bagel, and snoring so loudly that only a bunch of ants could stand the noise. Everyone else had moved away from him, but the ants had a better plan.
Zzzzzz
zzzzzz
zzz
Kevin
All Images, sxc.hu (edited by Char)
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One crisp dewy morning, all was calm whilst Kevin snoozed away in his fluffy bagel, until a sudden movement awaked him. Looking down he realised it was his neighbouring ants, all working together to move the bagel from the ground. Seeing a startled Kevin, one ant exclaimed: “We just can’t take your snoring any longer!”
Although he was upset, Kevin had expected it, having been uprooted to different parts of the town all his life. His snores were something he couldn’t control, and something everyone he’d ever known couldn’t stand for long. He’s tried everything he could think of, all the old tricks that are said to banish the curse – swallowing cat whiskers, jumping off sunflowers and shouting at human children. None of it had worked, and no one understood that it just wasn’t his fault.
Time passed and Kevin woke to the sun rising, stil l bumping up and down on his moving bagel. His eyes blurred after the long night travelling, he could just about make out a sign reading SKIP CITY. Being passed through the breadstick gates, he was apprehensive of what was ahead – although he’d moved around a lot over the past few years, every place seemed scarier than the last. This one was a little bit smelly and extremely overcrowded.
All of a sudden he was grounded to a halt by a big burly cockroach holding papers in his arms – “There’s a space for the bagel over there, just next to the rusty nails” he said as he shuffled the papers. Kevin had no choice but to accept the space, and the ants pushed him towards his final destination. On his way, stil l bobbling along, he noticed another snail snoring much louder than Kevin ever could. He’d never met another snorer, never mind a snail snorer just like him. Then, something he’d been dreaming of for many years – a sign reading:
He suddenly felt something that he’d never felt before, a feeling of happiness and acceptance. This in mind, Kevin snored the night away and had the most comfortable sleep he could ever think possible. Kevin was the happiest he’d ever been – comfortable in his beloved bagel and amongst other snoring snails, he could now sleep easy for the rest of his life.
�“SNORING WELCOME�”
arghhhh!
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Eggy
Farmhouse Pizza Omelette: a healthy lunch on the go
2 Eggs85g Chopped Tomato25g Mushroom20g MozzarellaOne slice of lean hamChivesSalt and pepper
(prep: 5 mins, cook: 5 mins. One serving)
‘Break the eggs into a jug and beat with a fork. Pour into a hot frying pan, then pull the mixture away from sides with a spatula.. When the top is nearly set, add chopped tomatoes, sliced mushrooms and ham.Sprinkle the mozzarella and flavour with chives, salt and pepper. Place the pan under a hot grill until the cheese bubbles. Now quickly gobble it up before it gets cold.! ’
Recipes Lula�’s
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Vegetarian Pea Pâté:
Lula�’s favouri te toast topper
‘Place egg in a small saucepan, and cover with cold water. Bring water to the boil, and immediately remove from heat. Cover, and let egg stand in hot water for 10 to 12 minutes. Remove from hot water, cool, peel and chop. Heat oil in a
frying pan over a low heat, and add chopped onion. Cook, stirring occasionally, until brown and tender. Add chopped garlic, and sauté for 1 to 2 minutes. Remove the mixture from the frying pan, and set aside to cool. . In a blender or food processor, finely chop crackers and walnuts. Mix in the pea and onion mixture. Add the egg, and blend to a fine paste, adding water or oil if necessary to attain desired consistency. Season with salt and pepper.’
1 Egg3 tbsp Olive Oil1 large Onion, chopped2 Cloves Garlic, chopped20 Thin wheat crackers50g (2 oz) Walnuts400g Tinned Petits Pois, drainedSalt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
(prep: 15 mins, cook: 15 mins. 12 servings)
Melting Moments:
a sugary treat on the l ips
1 Egg75g Caster sugar95g Margarine125g Self-raising flourCrushed Cornflakes
‘Cream together the sugar and margarine. Fold the egg into the mixture and gradually add the flour. Roll into balls and drop into a bowl of crushed Cornflakes. Lay the balls evenly onto a greased baking tray some distance apart to allow the biscuits to spread. Cook until golden brown. All the better eaten whilst warm with a nice cup of English Breakfast.’
(prep: 15 mins, cook: 15-20 mins. 10 servings)
by Katie
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Dogs at car boot salesphotography and words by Georgia
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It’s spring. The British car boot is back in full swing. Sellers and buyers flock to chilly fields to hunt a bargain and get rid of their rubbish. Despite the early hour and the nip in the air, the burger van serving greasy meals and alcohol is not short of business. An assortment of people who would not be seen together in any other environment mill about, exchanging opinions and haggling to the last penny. Look to the feet of these Sunday traders and you will find a whole world of animal politics. Big dogs, little dogs, happy dogs and grumpy dogs are all brought along to this weekly event so close to Britain’s heart, and are far more interesting to watch than the people who pull their leads.
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34 springtime
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seagulls 35
photographs by Katie
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I dreamed of animals
At first it’s darkness, with only the sound of swishing water indicating where I could possibly be. As my surroundings start to become clear, I realise that I’m stood in front of the sea – a sea contained in a gigantic swimming pool. As I make my approach, the sky lights up with orange and yellow colours beaming from the sun. Straining my eyes, I see a figure in the distance. The figure is a large grey elephant, shooting water from its trunk onto its blazing hot skin. At a closer look, I see a man on the elephant’s back, basking in the water from its trunk and dancing around in bare feet. In his hand, a saxophone, blaring sweet music into my ears. I climb into the water - warm and calm, just like a bath. I feel a school of brightly coloured fish rush past me, and see them jumping in the air with delight. Following the music, they head towards the elephant, and I decide to follow. Wading my way through the water, the music is getting louder, and the man is now surrounded by hundreds of fish grooving to his beats. I finally get close, and the ginormous elephant begins to move away towards the sunset. I can’t keep up and the water is getting deeper; the party gets more and more distant. I watch them - the fish, the elephant, the man - as they move further away, leaving a trail of water-ripples and music notes behind them.
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dreamt by Char
i l lustrations by Georgia and Katie
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Last night my ginger cat was a lion who carried me on his back to my childhood friend’s home. I felt his thick fur between my fingers as we ran through the house and to the garden where we used to play. The shed was an entire city where chickens clucked and boxes towered over our heads in strange and sinister forms. We ran through streets where ghosts from the weekend film skulked in the darkness. Suddenly, I am falling towards the monsters; my cat’s fur slipping through my fingers as I tumble towards the darkness. Then, just as suddenly, I am flying. I see the ginger fur of my cat running along the ground beneath me as I get higher and higher. I land on buildings to push off harder and keep flying until when I land I can’t push off. I beat my wings but I can no longer fly. I see my cat running along, he hasn’t stopped and disappears into the distance. Slowly, I move to the edge of the roof and launch myself off, but I don’t fly - I float slowly to the ground. As I turn in the wind I become caught in clouds, and feeling the soft fabric around me, I roll over and cuddle my bed sheets closer to me while my ginger cat purrs at my feet.
A faint buzzing from a hidden place gently wakes me from a deep slumber, Bleary-eyed, I l isten as the sound grows louder and louder, until a bumblebee comes flying into my room through the opened window, invited in by the sweet scent of my overnight sweat. Stumbling out of the room, I realise that I’m in my Aunt’s house. Their cat meows passionately, seemingly perturbed by the noisiness coming from behind. I walk quicker, noticing that the bee is promptly following in my direction. Did he not realise that I can offer him no honey or pollen, that he’d be better off outside in the fresh spring air? I pick up a brisk walk as a glance backwards indicates that the bee is growing larger and larger in diameter with every step I take. I begin to panic as Mr Bumble becomes the size of a large balloon; I run down the flight of stairs, hoping he cannot keep up with me, until I reach the sliding exit doors - which, to my dismay, are locked. This is it now. The bee is hot in my pursuit, and has now reached the size of a short yet largely obese child. His circumference is greater than my height, and his beady eyes meet my own with horrifying malice, his ugliness astounding me momentarily. Just as his buzz reaches an almost unbearable decibel, I lurch into a falling black hole, after which I jolt bolt upright in the warmth of my own bed. I can hear a faint clattering coming from the kitchen downstairs, and my heart rate slows itself into a natural and resting drum-like beat, reassured that I’m safe from the monstrous creature that laid before me a mere few seconds ago.
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dreamt by Katiedreamt by Georgia
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A rather
revolting rhyme
words by Georgia and Katiei l lustations by Katie
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Henry the hamster was bored of his cage,He wanted to see the sun and the waves
So he wriggled away and squeezed through the barsNot caring about his owner’s poor heart,
Off he went with his head held highWith a jolly step and a twinkling eye.
Through tables and chairs he ran through the houseTill he reached the cat flat and scrambled on out.
Out in the sunshine he rolled with glee,So happy was he to finally be free,
When all of a sudden from a high perchA crow swooped down with a sickening lurch.
Henry cried out ‘I am free lets be chums!’,But the crow had other plans involving his tum.
Henry squealed and ran for the hedge;The crow was fast, but Henry had the edge.
Once inside he found a wriggling worm;Henry’s belly was growling after his frightening turn,
So he gobbled up the slithering miteNot hearing his protests as he disappeared from sight.
His tummy was full so he rested awhile,When he felt a gurgle and a rush of bile;
This worm wasn’t tasty it was yucky and gross,He missed his hamster pellets and treats the most.
He ran from the bush but soon realisedHe was lost and alone and it was dark in the sky.He ran blindly in fear til l he found a nice spotWhere 2 little moles had a home and a plot.They welcomed him in and gave him some soup;Henry felt better and warmer to boot,So he left the moles with directions to homeAnd set out determined and ready to roam.
A few hours later he saw the lightsOf his homely porch; what a lovely sight!He began to run and heard his owner’s voice,He was so nearly there, he regretted his choiceTo leave this morning and couldn’t waitWhen his owner came out and opened the gate.She didn’t see Henry and strode into the dark,Stepping on Henry and squishing his heart.
His owner mourned Henry and never knewWhat had happened until she scraped her shoeTo clean all the muck after a walk one day,And found Henry’s body in the mud and the hay.‘Oh, poor Henry, what have I done?I was so heartbroken when I saw that you’d run,That I bought another hamster to fil l your space -And now I am happy, and don’t miss your face.’
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at
night
the
mice
come
out
to
play...
words and i l lustrations by Katie
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The clock struck midnight and the house was deadly silent. People upstairs were dreaming dreams of unicorns, clouds, and kittens, lost in their make-believe world where all good outweighed evil . Downstairs was a different story entirely. The mice were able to roam freely and recklessly about the spacious kitchen without fear of reprobation. They feasted upon everything within their eyesight. Biscuits were laid out atop the counters in an apparent peace offering by the humans. The mice with a penchant for sugary goodness gobbled up the treats in a matter of seconds. Between a few of the strongest mice, a heavy door was opened leading into a melting (or freezing, rather) pot of gold. It was extremely cold inside, yet full of the weird and wonderfulness that the human’s must feed their bodies with.. This newly found room held
everything a little mouse could ever wish for. There laid sausages, and cheeses, and everything else in-between. The teenage mice partied the night away, boogying until their tiny legs began to ache. The younger mice played amongst their new toys, and on the ground floor, some of the more hungry members of the family sat themselves down to a satisfyingly large banquet of cheese. The family of mice were having the time of their lives, but their joy was soon to be shattered at the noise of tugging at the opening to their temporary abode. In came the most gigantic rat they had ever had the misfortune to behold, a rat whose expression suggested rage, and fervour, and a healthy appetite all in one. The poor mice should’ve known that this was all too good to be true - Oh! What an unfortunate end to a delightful night!
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Flo�’s symphony words and i l lustration by Georgia, music by Flo
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Flo wrote a song. She played it on the family piano and was urged on with treats and cuddles. She revelled in the attention. What she created wasn’t beautiful or a masterpiece, but it was real and it was fun. Flo is getting on in years but stil l plays like a kitten. Her joints are stiff and her eyes are dull but she stil l loves to play on the big dusty piano in the living room. She slept well that night in her little bed in the hall where a flowery cushion squashes up all around her.
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ActivitiesFind these words
There’s five to get.. .
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Spot the difference
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Illustrations by Char
cats and their many
personalities
guilty cat
sleepy cat
deflated cat
playful cat
scared
cat
curious
cat
angry cat
confused cat
lonely cat
supercat
static cat
intellectual cat
poorly
cat