Island Rail

8/14/2019 Island Rail

1/23

Page 3


2/23


3/23


4/23

Ravings Of A Diseased Mind aka Im only serious when Im not laugh-

ing aka HHRBS Blurbs aka No Opinion, No Brain!by cjames

The biases the media has are

much bigger than conservative or

liberal. They're about getting rat-

ings, about making money, aboutdoing stories easy to cover.

Al Franken

Eviction

Convictions

Holy mol and holy shi too can yabelieve some of the madness Franklin

gets hisself into referrin of course to

th boy subjecting himself to a force-

able evicition jus to save a few bucksand get some stuff for a little story

hes been wanting to tell and then

claiming that he didnt know it was

comin which th point were tryin to

get to here is that Franklin claims that

there are folks right here on the Island

having such a hard time makin ends

meet that theyve taken to hunting for

food jus like the cowboys an Indians

used to do which leads us to believe

that Franklin may be losing it? (seeEviction pg.6

He may be good buddy, headed for a padded cell!

Feelin

Awwwright!OMG, pirates! Headlines around the

country squealed with glee as our

Navy SEALS took out the Somalian

baddies, freed the newest American

hero and helped PrezO with the

"dodging of a PR bullet," as USA

Today put it. Meanwhile, "Pirates

around the Indian Ocean vowed

revenge," the New York Daily News

chimed in, letting us know that wecould have an exciting new war on

our hands, as speculation continues

that at least one of the old ones will be

cancelled (someday). And if you think

this sounds kind of like reality TV,

well, it is. E! Online reported that

"Spike TV has closed a deal with the

U.S. Navy to chronicle pirate-hunting

special forces in a new reality show,

'Pirate Hunters: USN.'"So fasten your seatbelts, folks. The

War on Pirates is an idea that's win-

win-win an win someore as Military

recruitment will soar, the dying MS

media will rejuvenate (or at least go

into remission) as it reports the play-

by-play and a depressed, fragmented

nation will reunite!Does anybuddy know what this hillbilly just said?

A Billion IzThink about it folks, a billion sec-

onds ago it was 1959.

B. A billion minutes ago Jesus was

alive.

C. A billion hours ago our ancestors

were living in the Stone Age.

D. A billion days ago no-one walked

on the earth on two feet.

E. A billion dollars ago was only 8hours and 20 minutes at the rate

PrezO is spending it. Holy shi!

She Cant Help Itto: [email protected]: southerntransplant@

Where do you get off criticizing our

President in such a manner. What

kind of a publication is this? Who do

you think you are? My husband has

been brining this thing in the house for

a few years now and I have never, not

once, seen such a month to month

diatribe on a President or any other

US leader. What gives you the right?

southerntransplant, try taking a few

deep breaths sweetheart. We know

you cant help it. Its called excercising

our 1st amendment rights and if you

dont think that knowing our future as

a great Country is now in the hands of

a full basketcaseAKA Obama, Pelosi,

Reid and Hillary Clinton doesnt just

piss me off royally, then perhaps you

should be reading Pink instead of the

Rail. Let me remind you of something

you may have forgotten.

FACT: A young man is elected to

the state legislature. His wife is given

a make believe job as director of

"community services" for a large hos-

pital that receives state funds. Theyoung man runs successfully for the

U.S. Senate. His wife's salary is

tripled because the hospital receives

more federal than state funds.

The young man leaves the senate

for another position. His wife no

longer needs the "job" -- and the hos-

pital decides that it no longer needs a

director of "community services."

Instead of facing a criminal investiga-

tion for accepting bribes and illegal

political contributions, the young man

and his wife are lauded for their "serv-

ice." How bad has the venality

become? How ingrained is the

acceptance of this kind of fraud in our

culture? Fifty two percent of America'svoters recently elected this man pres-

ident ... and his wife is now the first

lady.

Tell yer hubby hello for us will you

dear?

Ammunition Runto:[email protected]

From: TNTony@

Hey Cork, Tony here. We always

talk about the Calverts when we run

into each other. I tried to call but your

greeting is about an hour long.

Thought you might like to know that I

took your advice about buying a hand-

gun. I found a nice 25 calibre semi in

a pawnshop in Beaufort but forgot to

buy ammo while I was over there. I

went to WalMart but they were out.Where else can you go for ammo

around here?

Tony, good move sir, now go to a

shooting range and learn to shoot and

handle your weapon safely. The

loonies in Washington are gearing up

for gun restrictions as we speak.

Sorry but youll have to go to

Sanannah or back to Beaufort for theshells. Stock up while youre there as

the guy I talked to at WalMart a few

months back told me that they cant

get them in fast enough. That ought to

tell you something heh?

Full Moon Rising

March 10th, 2202 pm

E:Mail ESP entre nous Pony

Express Courier Pigeon USPO

Our future as a greatCountry is now in the

hands of a full basket-caseAKA Obama,

Pelosi, Reid and Hillary


5/23

The Posh Rock Rail swssqwsssw May -2009 page 5

First Time Rail Reader? Great! We luv when that happens! From our 09 Spring Staff, The Supreme Masters ofMoneys Worth Relaxed Living of the World, Wed Like to welcome Yall to our little neighborhood..,

vvsWelcome Folks.., to one of the Low Countrys finest hours. If you dont find something inside that moves you,

theres a very good chance that you may be dead. Otherwise, wed like to welcome the good folks of..,

Hilton Head, BTown, Daufuskie, Moss Creek, Buckingham, Heritage Lakes, Colleton River, Sawmill Forest, Westbury park,

Woodbridge, The Farm, Lake Linden and nowPineridge. Welcome, youve got Rail! Rail staff 2009

May-2009wvww

Rail 2009 Staffersvsvsssvs

qsw

Layout/Design

vwss

Regulars

wwssqqww

vwvw

Guests & Ghosts

wsswqsw

Creative License

vwsswvvwws

Photography

sws

qw

Distribution

qqvssw

All letters re. E:mail-V:mail-Snail:mail will be publishedunedited when submitted by

the 25th of the month.

HHRBS Publications

PO Bx 6233, HHI-29938

E:mail:[email protected]

843-842 5156

Op Ed"The greatest tyrannies are alwaysperpetrated in the name of the noblestcauses." Thomas Paine

Both partys propaganda and spin

machines are in high gear these days

as the ideaology and culture wars rage

as the system continues to tank. As the

conservative leaning-Libertarian sort,

weve become intrigued by the current

state of the cable news medias reporter

actresses as it seems that orders from

way above somewhere obviously think

it good for business to have all of the

most devastating economic, depressing

social lunacy and personally debilitating

news delivered mostly by women with

bright, smiley faces w/extra-bubbly

demeanors.

The most interesting part of it all isthat these actresses are much too obvi-

ously in the same boat as the majority

of Americans re. fear for their jobs,

shock and awe at the growing numbers

of mothers and fathers slaughtering

their families and the sinking ship that is

America today.

Its almost macabre to watch obvious-

ly stressed people attempting to put on

a happy face as they constantly stum-

ble over their words while reporting truly

bad news back to back all day long. No

wonder MSM is tanking. What ever

happened to somber reports delivered

with straight faces? rf

IInnSSiiddee:: May-09-Spring in SessionThe Couch Potatos Tomatoes

COVER Credits:

Rail MAILBOX: RRAANNTTSS,, RRAAVVEESS,, MMOOAANNSS && GGRROOAANNSS pg. 5

THE SCHEME: EEVVIICCTTIIOONN UUPP CCLLOOSSEE//PPEERRSSOONNAALL --pg. 6

LJ-6S WORLD: Chaos Cops, Fact or Fiction? PP 77

STUFF/FYI: Cyber Scams-Cyber Scams-GGEEEEKKSS && GGAADDGGEETTSS pg. 10

FILM: Simms sez State Of Play is a waste. pg 14

LOCAL BARS LIVE MUSIC NIGHTLY Pgs 18-19

CONCERTS & SHOWS THIS MONTH PG 22

TREND WTREND WAATCH:TCH: The Nightlife ByThe Nightlife By DayDay pg 17pg 17

JAZZ TALES:Sippel Revisits FatheadNewman pg 20

Neighborhoods/Child sex offenders Neighborhoods/Child sex offenders ppgg 2222

SPRING DOINS: F&A BEVERAGE:

PLUS: Travel+Leisure recommended

NNii ttee ll ii ffee NNeewwss ssttaarrttss

ppgg.. 1166

qwqw

R


6/23

The Scheme Of ThingsOf ThingsvvswsBy Roger Franklin

By Roger Franklin, HHI

People all over the Country arebeing foreclosed on and forcibly evict-ed from their homes. Details of the

forcible eviction itself never make thenews which of course makes it evermore important that it should. It is ofcourse a sign of the times which willundoubtedly continue to worsen in theforeseeable future. This little talecomes from a single personal experi-ence, and how one chooses to handlea forcible eviction procedure, or not,will of course be left to the reader.

knowing it's coming and dealingwith it while it's in progress are twovery different things. We had known irwas coming, but we weren't aware ofthe timeline. At the eviction hearing,the Magistrat issued misleading infor-mation or we would have otherwisesimply not been there, sound asleep,when a BC deputy by the name of"Jimmy", came crashing in like a one-man swat team. A "rude awakening"

indeed.We had for several years been leas-

ing a 4 bedroom house in NorthForest owned by Fred and LonnieGoulet. (Pronounced Goo-lay.) Whiledropping off the lease check forJanuary -$1850.- we opened rentrenegotiations with the Gou's stateingthat the current rent was too much fortoo little and that we'd have to relo-cate to more affordable houseing

unless the rent was reduced. Mrs.Gou became recalcitrant re. the pro-posal and left a note in the mailboxthe following day declaring that wehad 60 days to vacate. No discussion,no negotion, refusing to budge. Wediscovered that the Gou's had refi-nanced the mortgage in February-08,for a half a million-plus, -upside down-which we further opine pretty much

explained their dismay. Like so many,the Gou's were laboring under thefalse impression that the housingboom would never end. Since thenhowever, it has of course and, in ouropinion, their hubris as well.

In February, we nevertheless drop-ped off a check for $1500.00. Thenext day, Mrs. Gou came to the houseand, in our opinion, demanded hyster-ically that we be out that afternoon.We quietly informed Mrs. Gou that

she was being silly and that it was asimple take it or leave it offer and thatif she wasn't going to take it, then sheshould leave it. As she refused toleave the check, in effect taking it, wethen elected to inform Mrs. Gou thatwe would furthermore be applying our$1750. deposit to the March rent andwould be out by April first. Mrs. Gouleft an unhappy camper and the nextday initiated the eviction.

Lest we be accused of complainingabout the cards we were dealt, per-haps a little history is in order to clari-fy our decision to ignore the ultima-tum. Before taking the house at 13Sandpiper in June of 2006, westressed the importance of having aquiet enviornment in which to live andwork which Mr. Goulet assured us ofeven though he knew quite well that a

weekly rental was in the works nextdoor. Within 2 months the construc-tion began which would for the next 3months result in the daily enduranceof hammering, sawing and diggingmachines grinding away beginningdaily at 7am. Then came the weeklyrenters with all night parties etc.Also worthy of note was the 2 weeks

spent without an AC, in June no less,which came at a time when the

Goulet's were "out of town". After sev-eral messages left at their residencewere ignored, 3 days passed beforewe elected to call in a repair servicewhich resulted in a total of 2 weeksbefore the AC was back up.Ultimately, the Gou's refused to paythe repair bill claiming that it was usthat had made the call" and that they"had a service repair contract

arranged with a different company"which they claimed "relieved them ofthe obligation". We kept the documen-tation from Gray Heating and Air.

And then there were the screensMr. Goulet promised that never mate-

rialized which ultimately resulted inour having to purchase and install.Living in the South with no screens onyour house is not a simple matter andas the right to quiet, peaceful exis-tance is just about the only right a

renter has in this State, we got little ofthat for almost 3 years.

We could carry on with the lengthystory of the bathroom tile replacementpromised but not delivered, the Gousactually painted the tile, but perhapsthe reader can make up his/her ownmind at this point regarding the MOemployed by many landlords such asthe Goulets.

The eviction notice is served bya BC Deputy that comes to the resi-dence for personal delivery and sig-nature of receipt. The court date isincluded and ours was scheduled forFriday, March 12. We stood before themagistrat along with the Gou's andstated our cases. I related the eventsconcerning the take it or leave it offeronly to discover that the Gou's had yetto deposit the check for $1500 which

the magistrat interpreted to mean thatno rent for February had been ten-dered. (?) The court appearance ter-minated with the magistrat misinform-ing us that she would be filing theforcible eviction order sometimebetween Fri the 20th and Thur the27th of March, and that it would take 5to 7 working days before the date ofeviction was posted on the property.

The following Monday, March 15th,

we began moving our personal fur-nishings to a new NFB location and byTuesday afternoon had cleared thehouse with the exception of a make-shift bed, cooking and eating necessi-ties, shower articles and the officeequipment including the computersnecessary to complete the deadlinefor the April issue. After 14 years, thisdeadline was memorable.

We were there, dead asleep, whenone BC Deputy, with the Gou's in tow,came bursting in loudly declaring thatwe vacate the premises immediately.With a serious case of the blinks, Iasked the deputy about the required

notice, he led me outside and pointedto the notice, posted high on a fenceand totally obscured from anyoneentering or exiting the door that I hadbeen using for several years. I beganbreaking down the computers whilethe Gou's, with self rightious indigna-tion on their faces, began rushingthrough the house gathering and bag-ging the various and sundry remnantsof roommates of old including anancient sectional couch, several

lamps, garbage containers andnumerous odds and ends left asinstructed by the movers of two daysprior. It was at about that time that thisstory started taking shape and theatmosphere changed. With theDeputy standing there, Mr. Gouletbegan making remarks and got whatwe have to opine "mouthy". With thisstory writing itself as minutes went by,we elected to take a few photos. Mr.

Gou's expression of indignationchanged. (see story intro on Cover)

In a quandry as to how to get ourcomputers and office equipment offthe premises, we were stacking theboxes out in the drive next to the carwhen a neighbor came strolling up thestreet to check his mail. You needsome help? I've got a truck and noth-ing to do for a few hours. Thank you

Mattie Hosey, we owe you one sir.It was the start of one hell of aweek. As the new digs were still beingcleared and repainted etc., checkinginto a local motel later that eveningbecame another eye opener. I neverimagined that there would be such ashithole on Hilton Head. I mean thisplace was rife with decay and"deferred maintenance" and thetheives and homeless in this area

were apparent. Weve since begunreferring to it as Motel Sick.

The odds are pretty much stackedagainst the evictee from square oneand for all those who have, and themany, many more that may be goingthorough it in the future, we can per-sonally assure you that you don't wantto be there when the SWAT team hits.Knowing that this is happening to fam-

ilies across the Country, we dontenvy Jimmys job these days.Butbecause we've had such an under-reported experience, and possess thewherewithal to express it here, we'dhave to do it all over again. cj

Eviction:Up Close & Personal

RailTrail#6

K ii


7/23

ChaosCops?Little Joe is a bit wor-

ried about illustrious editor

Franklin these days. Hes

directed me to a couple

web-sites that address US

social unrest responseand as one was the

Department of Justice, I

spent some time there and It is food

for thought indeed.

According to an excerpt from the

DOJ, An American government and

defense establishment lulled into

complacency by a long-secure

domestic order would be forced to

rapidly divest some or most external

security commitments in order to

address rapidly expanding humaninsecurity at home. Already predis-

posed to defer to the primacy of civil-

ian authorities in instances of domes-

tic security and divest all but the most

extreme demands in areas like civil

support and consequence manage-

ment, the DOJ might be forced by cir-

cumstances to put its broad resources

at the disposal of civil authorities to

contain and reverse violent threats to

domestic tranquility.

OK fine. But, as Franklin put it, why

are they addressing this now?

The more I read the more I wanted

to read. The piece continues with,

Under the most extreme circum-stances, this might include use of mil-

itary force against hostile groups

inside the US. Further, DODefence

would be, by necessity, an essential

enabling hub for the continuity of polit-

ical authority in a multi-state or nation-

wide civil conflict or disturbance.

Holy Mol folks, if Im interpreting

this stuff clearly, theyre talking about

the possibility of an all out revolution.

A nationwide civil conflict or dis-

trubance? Franklin may have some-

thing here. The Natl stage does seem

to be evolving into something radical

but a nationwide civil conflict or dis-

trubance would require some organi-

zation. There is civil unrest, no doubt

about that, but if the DOD and DOJ

are concerned enough to discuss

prepardness, then they know some-

thing theyre not saying. The laststatement is telling: While likely not

an immediate prospect, this is clearly

a Black Swan that merits some visi-

bility inside DOD and the Department

of Homeland Security. This is largely

un-charted strategic territory. Wide-

spread civil violence inside the US

would force the defense establish-

ment to reorient priorities in extremis

to defend basic domestic order and

human security.

Is anyone thinking Civil War? lj6

KeepingSheep

SleepingLittle Joe can only hope

that all the bowing and

scrapeing our President is

doing for the Arabs, and

the talks that hes plan-

ning with the maniac of

Iran, has some underlying logic. I can

only pray that Obama has conspired

with the Jews and is not really leaving

them out while he sits down with men

who have declared that the Jews

must be wiped off the face of the

Earth.

Time and again we are told by thepolitically correct "experts" not to

worry about Islam posing a threat to

our way of life. We are repeatedly lec-

tured that only a very small minority of

Muslims are troublemakers who are

giving the peaceful masses of

Muslims a bad name. We are also

informed that the terrorists, who hap-

pened to be Muslims, are the disaf-

fected and the young. And not to

worry, since as the fire of youth turnsto ashes of old age the rebellious will

mellow, as they always have.

With heavy assurances like this,

coming from so many know-it-all

authoritative figures, we can sleep

soundly without the aid of sleeping

pills. After all, people reason that

these pundits are "experts" whose job

is to know and tell it like it is. Those

who voice contrary views must be abunch of racist, alarmist hate mon-

gers. Who is right?

The point is, that Little Joe is hav-

ing a hard time giving the gurus in the

Whitehouse the benefit of the doubt.

On one hand, I have to agree that the

general public must be kept in the

dark about how dangerous the situa-

tion really is. On the other, I have to

doubt our leaders ability to accurately

assess the situation. LJ6

6 Pack

Holy Mol folks, if Im inter-

preting this stuff clearly,

theyre talking about the

possibility of all out rebel-

lion. A nationwide civil

conflict or distrubance?

BACK in

June

By C. James

CalvertUpDates

Hard looks at the circumstances

surrounding the dissappearance of

the Calverts leave few realistic

opportunities for the inarguable

unobserved snatch. By plane would

have been as impossible as

Gerwing acting alone. It had to have

been either by land or by sea and

two doable opportunities have pre-

sented themselves. It is also signif-

icant to note that whether by land

Grins: Semper Fi MomentLast month, as PrezO' got off the helicopter in front of the White House, he

was carrying a baby piglet under each arm. The squared away Marine guard

snaps to attention, salutes and says: "Nice pigs, sir." The President replies:

"These are not pigs....these are authentic Arkansasas Razorback Hogs. I gotone for Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, and I got one for Speaker of the

House Nancy Pelosi." The squared away Marine again snaps to attention,

salutes and says, "Excellent trade, sir."man oh man oh man.


8/23

G k G d t Di it l G di


9/23

customer protests.Ultimately, its a rate hike that will

of course be monitored by BigBrother and the Democrats for thesole purpose of additional taxation.Our Government is broke and in des-

perate need of more bailout bucks.In a statement released by TWC,

this is how Chief Executive OfficerGlenn Britt explained the situation:

"It is clear from the public responseover the last two weeks that there is agreat deal ofmisunderstandingaboutour plans to roll out additional tests onconsumption based billing. As aresult, we will not proceed with imple-

mentation of additional tests until fur-ther consultation with our customersand other interested parties, ensuringthat community needs are beingmet."

Apparently, the new plan is to rollout some sort of meter system thatwill help customers gauge theirinternet usage and, in most cases,realize that the bandwidth caps willnot really affect them. As far as I can

tell, there is no "misunderstanding"here. No matter how you break itdown, it's pretty obvious that TWCcustomers are about to get screwed.

M a x t o rBlackArmor160GB USB DriveBy R. Mathis, HHI

They say that goodthings come to those whowait. Like us you oncelooked at the super-secure MaxtorBlackArmor drives and thought"Wow, I'd really like one of those, butthey are way too spensive." This is adrive you could feel safe about put-

ting your pr0n tax returns on, with itshardware-based full-disc encryptiontechnology and all. Hmm, what'sthat? BlackArmor drives are only $59at TigerCompUSA? Whoa!

Mathis Gadget of the month:

Worlds SmallestCamcorder

Panasonic launches World Smallest

When Camcorder joins your dailylife, capture all your precious

moments, even companyme traveling around theworld. However becauseof the size of the old cam-corder, which was big, Igot trouble in taking care

of it. However now,Panasonic launchedSDR-S10 The WorldSmallest Cam-cordermeasures 1.2 x 2.5 x 4.5

inches, 10x optical zoom, 2.5-inch

LCD. With the ability to record onSD/SDHC format, Panasonic revealthat a 4GB SDHC memory card will

allows 100 minutes recording timewhereas the 2GB SDHC memorycard will allows 50 minutes recordingtime. SDR-S10 designed in a stylishlook, easy shooting that allows you toshoot your precious moment comfort-

ably in the palm of your hand.Unfortunately no word on the priceof SDR-S10 however it will be avail-able in Europe around the beginningof this month.

Geeks Gadgets Digital Goodies pg 9


10/23

Quote of the Month: Page 11Railsqs


11/23

Quote of the Month:"Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups,

parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.

Friedrich Nietzsche

gRa sqs


12/23

REEL FLIXPage 14


13/23

State Of Play

Stop the Presses!A thriller torn from the pages of the'Daily Bugle.'by Sarah Simms

Directed by Kevin Macdonald

t must be difficult, crafting apolitical conspiracy thriller

these days, what with all theconspiracies to choose from. Onealmost has to feel sorry for the teamof screenwriters responsible for thenew Washington thriller State of Playwhen they get all tangled up in theirs.Ben Affleck, playing a congressmanwho seems to be a Republican, callsa hearing in which he upbraids thehead of a firm clearly based onBlackwater. First he accuses thefirm's ex-military employees of being"mercenaries" who commit "atroci-ties" in Iraq and Afghanistan, and

then a minute later he says theBlackwater-like firm is getting its

noble ex-military employees killed.Well, whatever. It's a corporation,

and it's bad, and Iraq is bad, and Afghanistan is bad. Another con-gressman who complains whensomeone takes the Lord's name invain is bad, and he's in it with the badcorporation, which is attempting toprivatize homeland security, which is

bad-I mean the privatization is bad,not homeland security, although that'salmost certainly bad too, only the partof the movie in which it's explainedwhy it's bad was probably cut and willbe on the DVD.

It's unfortunate the economic crisishit after filmmaking was completed,because maybe Affleck could haveblamed that on Blackwater too.Indeed, in its focus on Iraq and

Afghanistan, State of Play seems

instantly dated, like the moment in thefirst Austin Powers movie when Dr.

Evil, who's been in the deep freezesince the 1960s, says he wants toblackmail the world for $1 million. Andthe event that gets the plot moving,the death of a congressional staffer,evokes the murder of Chandra Levyin the spring of 2001, a moment intime that, in some strange way,

seems longer ago than the 1960s.Having said that, save your money.

Hot on The Horizon in May:

Angels & Demons

Release Date: May 15, 2009Director: Ron HowardScreenwriter: Koepp and GoldsmanStarring: Tom Hanks, Ewan Mc-Gregor and Ayelet Zurer,Genre: Suspense Thriller

The team behind the global phe-nomenon "The Da Vinci Code"returns for the highly anticipated"Angels & Demons," based upon the

bestselling novel by Dan Brown.

REEL FLIXBy Sara Simms, HHI

Classic Film Quotes:When all was black & white

"My nerves could use adrink."

Frances "Francie" Stevens (GraceKelly)

-To Catch a Thief (1955)

Quick-Takes:Simms sez..,

See It Go For The Ride Take A Hike Get Outa Town

I

It's unfortunatethe economic crisishit after filmmak-ing was completed,

because maybeAffleck could have

blamed that onBlackwater too.


14/23


15/23

LookinGood!While Prez rhetoric portends glim-

mers of hope these days and bothpartys spin machines continue torage pro to con the local scenario hasa bit more concrete reason to be pos-itive this month as good word fromRail sources re. Resort/Hotel/VillaRental Agencies and transportationcompanies offer upbeat speculationre. not what Hilton Head is, but whatit isnt.The bottom line appeal for the Island

these days appears to be cheap easyaccess for regional states seeking thebeach within a days drive offering

moneys worth F&B and a myriad ofdiverse and entertaining nightlife des-tinations. While airfare may be com-petitive across the board it neverthe-less results in the lease car andHotel/Motel additionals that have tra-ditionally made the summer vacationa splurge for the family units tightbudgets. Good word from Villa Rentalagency contacts familiar with the tollthis economy has taken to date areenthusiastic about the bookingstheyre receiving which appear to belooking good on thru the Fall.

Trends:

Small Standing Tall

With so many bar restaurants just

hanging in there and banking on theSummer season to make up for lostrevenues over the Winter our focuslast month was on the smaller eater-ies that have been enjoying the bene-fits of lower fixed expenses and

whether mid-range or upscale itappears that they will have the com-petitive edge this Summer which mayprotend a trend in the works as somany of the Islands larger restau-rants continue to struggle under the

weight of fewer diners and higherfixed monthly expenses,

The Sea Shack keeps on rockingand continues to host more bodies onany given day than 90% of the eater-ies on the Island. WIth a focused crewand streamlined service MO thissmall spot is set to weather whatevereconomic conditions come along.

Good word at Catch 22 has num-

bers up over last year and is enjoyingthe hard earned rep of offering noth-ing but inhouse prepped cuisine fromsoups and homemade bread toscratch desserts.

Stellinis has locked in the earlydiners appeal that most large restau-rants strive for and the off the beatenpath location has for 20 years servedas a haven for locals and visitors pre-ferring a more subdued dinner desti-

nation.Murphys is likely the most popular

jock destination on the Island as goodnumbers of Rugby/Soccer playersand fans alike huddle there Thursday-Saturday and with the walking dis-tance convenience of the ForestBeach residents and dozens of near-by white collar workers the lunch,happy hour and dinner numbers con-

tinue to be steady.Frugal minded locals have got tobe loving the all new Two DollarBills now up and running which fea-tures $2 wells, domestics and housevinos all day, 7 days a week.

While The Tavern has had itsshare of live music woes its still man-aging to keep the real music happen-ing regularly there and with the frugalminded F&B staffers seeking stealdeals more than ever (see pg 2)

One Hot Mamas has been rulingthe Triangles local appeal thanks in

part to aggressive marketing and theoutside smokers bar there.

Wise Guys continues to enjoysteady numbers there with good num-bers week-nights and 30-45 minutewaits on the week-ends.

Prana Internationals overwhelm-ing success to date is undoubtedlydue to the myriad of diverse highenergy offerings presented nightlythere which embraces the 21-30 yoseeking upbeat festive atmospheres.Ushering in a new era of Islandnightlife the Prana MO appears to berecession driven as nightly numberscontinue to challenge Dark SpotsIsland-wide.

Monkey Business has the NatlConcert schedule back up and run-ning and with current GM and formerMonkey Biz DJ Mike Taylor enjoying

good numbers on the weekends thereit appears that the Island has yetanother viable concert destinationand dance club combo. That theShorelines concert schedule isgrowing steadily means more Natlacts to choose from than ever.

The Jazz Cornercontinues to rulelive music venues Island-wide and asco-owner Bob Masteller continues toadd and tweak the weekly stage per-formance schedules while droppingthe cover for locals and adding avalue minded late night menu has usbelieving that little will change thesteady turnouts 7 nights there.

Some speculate that

09 will be a pivotal year for F&B destina-tions choosing to

ignore the need toaggressivly address

their competition.Regardless, for thosewho do it has to be apleasure for patrons

who consider theevening meal as the

highlight of the day!

Spring Kicks

2009Chinese Year of The Ox

More like a pissed off alligator

wvvswsBy Cork James

Making the smaller spots last month took us clockwise from the top-L from

Main Street Cafe, to the Electric Piano to the 10th birthday doins at the JAzzCorner to the most affordable bar on the S-end re. $2 Bills as well as Catch 22for scratch soups and homemade hot bread. As the economy continues to tankit will surely be the Islands smaller eateries that sustain the competitive edge.

Chow Live Music NiteLifeNewz pg 17


16/23

The Wild Wings value formattedmenu and regular live music scheduleis producing steady all you can eatlunch numbers and accentuated bygood turnouts Thu-Sat for the nocover real music offerings there wehave no doubt that the growing num-

ber of frugal minds will be the driverbehind this spots continued success.

Aunt Chiladas frugal to high-endmenu offering continues to drawsteady lunch and happy hour num-bers and as one of the S-ends mostvisible restaurants will sustainthrough the tougher times ahead viafirst time visitors and the steady localclientele there.

Remys has been offering morevalue-minded lunch, happy hour anddinner hour deals there and with thereal music 5 nights weekly will likelybe able to eke out ends that meet thisyear. Remys 2 fer 1 lunch offering onwednesdays there have resulted inone of the busiest midweek offeringson the S-end.

PB Sunrise Cafe has ruled thebreakfast hours Island-wide for yearsnow and we see little change through-out the Winter months there as PBSCcontinues to attract the lions share of

the breakfast/brunch locals seekingvariety and prompt in and out access.

Capn Woodys continues to dosteady lunch and good happy hournumbers and accentuated by the out-door dining and water-side HurricaneBar will be doing festive numbers onnice days on into the Summer.

The Zone is the N-ends hottest spotcurrently and we have to believe thatthe billiards room and successful con-certs at the Shoreline Ballroom justacross the hall are adding to thissmall sports bars popularity.

The Lodge will be gearing hard forthe warm season with the addition ofan elevated stage equipped withlights and sound which will add anoth-er legit live music venue to the Islandat a time when tighter wallets are

seeking more bang for the buck.Kuramas long time local sushi lov-

ing clientele and table-side Chefentertainment combines to keepnumbers steady there and we seethis as one of the Islands fewJapanese restaurants sustaining byyears end.

The Nightlifeby Day

Station 70BTowns New Star

While Bluffton has several localhaunts doing good numbers thesedays the now 1 year old Station70 continues to make steadystrides as owner MariRene andstaff work it for all its worth and thismonth will feature Paul Kerns latenite Fridays.May 2 Mr. Bill out of beaufort

May 9 Sloppy Seconds withSilicone SisterMay 16 - Souls HarborMay 23 Habitual OffenderMay 30 Noise on Vine Street

Sign of The Times

Shoreline

ShineThe unexpected success of a2500 seat capacity concert venuehas taken many Islanders by sur-prise and Savannahs concert hallscannot compete with the diversenumbers of National names thatShoreline entertainment directors

Anthony Marsbanian and FreddieWard continue to bring in. FromSnoop Dog coming this month toHank lll in July this spot is hot.

Lodge GoesLive

WIth an elevated stage, lightingand sound now completed TheLodge whas added a long overduelive music venue to the BarmudaTriangle and good word has it allabout high energy and class acts.

more as it comes .

Blues & BBQ@ The Dock

A Sunday afternoon safe havenfrom the touristas featuring highenergy blues w/butts, chops andribs all Summer. Bands seekingnew venues should contact Ritch at842 9775 for booking info.

Isl BistroAdds

BreakfastFrom basic eggs, grits and biscuits

@ $5 to filet, eggs & muffins @ $9

to crabcakes and egg for $10 theIsland Bistro has brought a legitmoneys-worth option to the Pope

Ave Beach area.

The Dry Docks all day 15 yr birthday cele was a slam dunk full house with long-timelocals we hadnt seen in years. That same week-end the HH Rugby Club slipped by unde-feated Birmingham for an undefeated season. Hat tips and elbows are bent for the Gators.

3 - 5 pm

July

5th

No ad-driven BS Guides to Live Music nightly


17/23

Day WeeksMusic, Wine, Food & Bodies

(Not Ad Driven/UpDated Mar 25-09)

HH Islanders of 10 years or less

may not recall weeknights when find-ing a jumpingood, fun lovin scene onany given night could mean a roadtrip.

During the mid-80s to early nintieslittle was happening with any regulari-ty throughout the peak season tospeak of, pitiful actually, and short of ahalf dozen or so guitar solos doing apredominant tourista formatted, slow-hand Jimmy Buffet routine, festive

week-end only dark spots like TheGolden Rose, The Crows Nest ---now The Marriott Grand Ocean onSFB-Scarlet OHaras -now theHilton XO- The Old Post Office -now

Adelphia Cable Co on Pope- JimsParadise -now Mezzaluna, andRemys were just about all of the off-seaon options there were.

Monday: Slim pickins this monthbut The Jazz Corners new Blues

Tribute is picking up steam there andHincheys local fave sax-man/enter-tainer Earl Williams goes til 4 am.

Tuesdays: One Hot Mamas ishosting 16 yo Sara Burns from 6:30 to

9:30 there and The Jazz Corners allnew line-up featuring Martin Leschand the Multi-Jazz Quintet is breath-ing new life to early week-day offer-ings. Craig Coyne goes unplugged atRemys and On the mainland its nowStation 70 with GAME NITE featur-ing Wii, Corn Hole and Beer Pong.accentuated by $3 Olive Vodkasthere.

Wednesdays: Early on 8-mid-night at the Jazz Corner alternating

Bobby Ryder with Earl Williams willcontinue to be a popular local 8 tomidnight destination and @TheBamboo Patwa plays Reggae til lateand its the The Coyne Band Trio nowat Remys around 10pm.

Thursdays: Spare Parts with anewly formed 3 pc. will be replacingMArtin Lesch @ Remys as the TheMezzaluna features the Target Bandat 9pm. Sterling & Schuvette havereturn to the Electric Piano 9-mid-night there.

Fridays: is of course the SOTBshottest real music night w/Tavern On

The Park late with Tommy Simmsopen mic gets fair crowds and with

Spare Parts alternating w/MartinLesch Trio at Remys and w/TheBeaggles @Big Bamboo @7 will like-ly make for 3 of the most locals fre-quented Friday nite live music desti-nations. The Mezzaluna features theTarget Band at 9pm and BTowns all

new Station 70-formerly One HotMamas will feature live bands allmonth. The Simpsons at the HiltonXO and the Wild WIng will keepregional bands -see display ad backcover- andcontinues to offer some ofthe best local/regional entertainment.

Saturdays: will offer more diver-sity than ever this Spring as Remyswill maintain the latest Spare Parts

around 10 w/Coyne & Lesch. TheMezzaluna features the Target Bandat 9pm. and with the Simpsons at thenew XO Sat night crowds should bebrisk this Spring. On the mainlandStation 70-formerly One Hot Mamaswill feature live bands all month.

Sundays: may not be the slackestday of the week for live music this

Spring beginning early with JessieWatkins @ Brick Oven. Late niteatmospheres such as Hincheys ChiBarround midnight featuring alternat-ing soloists Mike Kavanaugh andReid Richmond and no doubt TheJazz Corners Sunday nite doinswith Deas Guys will continue to be thehottest Sunday might destinationthroughout the Spring.

Music Concerts Local Bars pg 19


18/23

Local Bar UpDates: May-09

LocalBarsLocated via 278 Mile Markers

Traditionally, a genuine Island localbar was characterized by peaked bot-tom lines during the off-months andreflecting the year's slowest as Maythru August. However this yearsrecession atmosphere has most post-ing weaker #s and as many longtimeresidents tend to stay closer to thehouse during the warm months citingthe crowds, the traffic, awful drivers

etc. this Summers pump pain is shap-ing up to be the slowest in manyyears.

As the N-ends latest The Zonelocated at Beach and Tennis is one ofa handful doing steady numbers alongw/the heavy boosts from the newShorelines concert nights is combin-ing for some of the better local barnumbers Island-wide. Happy Hourofferings 4-8 as well as 10-2am fea-tures $1.50 house drafts, $2.00 Rumand Vodkas, and daily 1/2 price appe-tizers running daily from 4-8pm there.Go 278 from either direction and

take the turn @ Folly Field Rd-3

blocks to Beach & Tennis & (R)

w/eyes (L)

Remys has no doubt reestablisheditself and long time Islanders are tak-

ing to the new diggs very well.Maintaining consistency from themeat and 3 lunch offering, a $5 happyhour menu offering and regularlyscheduled live music Tues-Saturdaynights there.From the seapines circle take Pope

ave & go (L)@ lagoon Rd. w/a quick

(L) @ 1st drive past the bike shop

to the end with eyes straight

ahead.

Park Plazas Tavern On The Parkmaintains a regular post shift F&Bdestination due to a consistant menuand when the live music plays Fridaysthere. From any approach take theSeaPines circle to Greenwood

Drive to the 1st street and L to 2nd

Park Plaza entrance w/eyes straight

ahead.

While The Lodge was initially for-

matted and generally most frequentedduring the off-seasons cooler monthsthis cozy Barmuda Triangle nightlifedestination has over the past fewyears acquired such a substantial reg-

ular clientele base that yearroundlocal bar status has become apparent.From any approach take the

SeaPines circle to Greenwood

Drive to first (L) w/eyes (R)

w/entrance behind Reilleys-S.

The Wild Wing Cafe continues to

be one of the S-ends hotter localspots featuring live entertainmentWed-Fri-Sat & Sun accentuated bythe Islands most frugal minded menu,-never a cover-. (see back cover) 278to Seapine's circle and 3/4's around

to Pope Avenue, go half mile to cir-

cle center complex w/ eyes R. Say

hello to Brian Corey behind the bar

there.

Hinchey's Chi Baris one of theSouth-end working local's fave weehour destinations featuring the realmusic from around midnight on Thurand Sunday nights there. TakeSeapines circle to Pope Ave, go to

the end re. Coligny Circle and 3/4's

around with an immediate right at

the first drive for convenient under-

ground parking.

The Frosty Frog now in a 7th year

has recently reached local bar statusand much like the Earls annualSummer/Tourista to off-season/localstransition caters to a mid-aged groupearly and the 21-25 set post midnightthere.Take SP circle down PopeAve and (L) on Lagoon & (R) @ 3rd

driveway. Eyes straight ahead OK

for parking@ Nash Drugs after

7pm.

The Drydock has over the past 14years become one of the North-east-ern transplanted local's regular desti-nations and home away from homefor many NY Yankee fans. TheDocks frugal minded lunch andSunday Pig roasts will run throughoutthe Winter there. 278 to Seapine'scircle and 3/4's around to Pope

Avenue and left at the 2nd street re.

Pope Ave Executive Park w/eye's R.

While Aunt Chiladas long timeyearround gathering gets interruptedduring the warm season this bar nev-ertheless has a loyal patronageenvied by most Irish and Sports barformats due to the 4-7 happy hour andall the action taking place during NFLand MLB seasons. Take SP circle toPope Ave and U-turn @ Lagoon & 2blks w/eyes (R).

Callahans Featuring a moneysworth median priced lunch and brisk4-7pm happy hourCallahans casualdinner offerings ranging from $6 to$10 and post midnight burgers andfinger food makes this long-time

locals destination one of the mostpopular yearround. Pass MM #10 &left on New Orleans and 1/2 mile w/

eyes left.

AdultDoinsThee DiamondClub has been anintegral part of thenightlife of HiltonHead Island forthe past six yearsand as the onlycompetitor in

adult nightlife re.Club Paradisecloseddoors per-

manently in July TDC is once againthe only game in town. The beautifulwomen that this popular adult gentle-mans club attracts have wowed any-one who is an island native or a fre-quent yearly visitor. All of these beau-tiful women are dancing all night foryour pleasure and enjoyment. The

gowns are stunning. These ladiesknow how to dress to impress. Theyall know how to treat a gentleman.Have a drink with a southern belle oran exotic princess.

Located on Dunnagans Alley @Palmetto Bay near the SeapinesCircle. Say hey to John Laney & Mom.

No ad-driven BS Guide

Updated April 25th

Steal DealsF&B steal deals are more scrut-

enized than ever. Not only by theskimping family units, college stu-dents and week-end warriors, butworking yearrounds and the savvybar/restaurant owners that are wiselyaddressing their competition.Ck out a few of our faves.

Sundays @ BTowns newStation 70-$2 Bloody Marys all day Mondays @Hincheys-$2 Beamand $2 Merlos, Pink Martinis and

Mojitos @ Big Bamboo and at WiseGuys its 2 fer1 small plates for F&B

staffers after 8p.The Jazz Corners new Blues

Tribute Monday offers $3 domesticbrews and $4 house liquor & wine.Tuesdays @The Lodge-$2 Tinis &

Trinities for $1 pitchers of MHL Weds@ Remys 2 fer 1 lunches. Thurs $1 Vodkas @ Wild Wing,

and also at Prana.Two Dollar Bills now offers wells.

vinos and domestics for $2every day, all day long there.

Prana offers 50 drafts dailyNEW:

Island Bistro offers $2 vodkas &$2 Fish tacos all day, everyday.

May 17th MA


19/23

Bio:

David Fathead

Newman

As a high school student, David

"Fathead" Newman was admittedly

bad at reading music, and learned toplay by ear and from memory in band

class. His teacher discovered he was

pretending to read music when he

saw Newmans part upside down on

his stand. He struck Newman with his

conductors baton, and angrily called

him Fathead. The name stuck for the

rest of his life.

Bebop and Blues:Newman grew up in Dallas, Texas,

where he studied piano and alto sax-

ophone at Lincoln High School. He

was heavily influenced by bebop, but

out of a desire to work as a musician,

he became schooled in the more

locally popular R&B and blues styles.

After attending Jarvis Christian

College for two years, where he stud-

ied music and theology, Newman

decided to drop out to pursue a per-formance career. He began touring

with Buster Smith, an alto saxophone

player who had played with many of

the top musicians of the swing era,

including Lester Young and Count

Basie. Smith had helped develop the

raw, bluesy sound that became asso-

ciated with Southern saxophone play-

ers, and also mentored Charlie

Parker.

Newman played with Smith and oth-

ers until Ray Charles hired him to play

baritone saxophone in 1954. A year

later, Newman switched to tenor sax-

ophone, and became a lead soloist in

Charles groups, helping to define thesoulful jazz sound of the great singer

and pianist.

Newman played with Charles for ten

years, recording on baritone, alto, and

tenor saxophones. Charles also

helped boost Newmans solo career,

supporting his first solo record,

Fathead: Ray Charles Presents David

Newman (1958).

After his tenure with Charles,

Newman went on to record almost 40

albums as a leader, and many more

as a sideman. He performed and

recorded with Herbie Mann, Aretha

Franklin, B.B. King, Donny Hathaway,

Natalie Cole, and others. In his later

years, Newman brought his bluesy,

effusive sound to large concert and

festival audiences as well as the bigscreen, appearing in Robert Altmans

film, Kansas City. At age 75, he died

of pancreatic cancer in Kingston, New

York.

ARTS & DOWNTIME

From the CradleFor the blues/jazzd confusedBy John Sippel

May@ The

Hilton Head, SC

1st- Hot Sauce2nd- Wormsloew

7th- Loose Cannons8th- EPDMK

9th- The Gullah Roots14th- Tokyo Joe

15th- Permanent Tourist

16th- The Plaids21st- Villanova22nd- McFly

23rd- U-Phonik24th- Silicone Sister

28th- Airiel Down29th- Johnny Swim30th- The Notion

BTown

2nd- Zach Deputy9th- Liquid Ginger16th- Stoneking23rd- Radio Cult

30th- Silicone Sister

May @

Wednesday :Craig Coyen

Thursday: Martin Lesch

Fridays : Craig Coyne

Saturday : Spare Parts

Friday Nights @

vswws

TommySimms

wws

The Dixieland Jazz Society

jams the last Sunday of everymonth @ The Jazz Corner from

3-5pm.

FREE

May 3 @ The Drydock May 8 @ The Tavern

A

Y

2

0

0

9

qsqv

Blues Tr ibuteBlues Tr ibute


20/23

The Simpson

Brothers@ the new XO Lounge Wed-Sat

s vsKingfisher on

Wed-7-10pmThu-Fri & Sat 8-12:30 @ The

Mezzaluna

Deas GuysSundays nights this month

@ The Jazz Corner-HHi

Tues & Sat Nights

@ Remys

The Spare Parts

Mike

KavanaughThur

Nights

@ Hincheysround Midnight

Mon nights @Mon n ights @ The Jazz Corner featur ing Mart inThe Jazz Corner featur ing Mart in

Lesch, Whitney Deputy, Chr is Russel l & C Wil l iamsLesch, Whitney Deputy, Chr is Russel l & C Wil l iams

swsThursday nights this month @

The Jazz Corner, HHI

B

r

i

c

k

O

v

e

n

Suns

@

Reid

Richmond

Sun@

Hincheys

round

Midnight

sw qvssBack this month on Thursday @

The Electric Piano

Grins: Right Place, Right TimeA mid-day fire destroyed a four-plex in South Los Angeles. A Nigerian family of six con-artists lived on the

first floor, and all six died in the fire. An Islamic group of seven Nigerian welfare cheats, all illegally in the

country, lived on the second floor, and they, too, all perished in the fire. Six Hispanic, gang-banger ex-cons

lived on the 3rd floor, and they too, died. One white couple lived on the top floor. The couple did not per-

ish. Jesse Jackson, John Burris, and Al Sharpton were furious. They flew into L.A., and quickly demand-

ed a meeting with the fire chief. The news media found out what they were doing, and showed up to record

the event. On camera, they loudly demanded to know why the Blacks, Black Muslims, and Hispanics all

died in the fire; but only the white couple lived. The fire chief quietly replied, "Simple -- they were both at

work." Man oh man! Now how unPC is that?

Jessie Watkins

TheBeaggles

Friday @ 7The Big Bamboo

#22


21/23

Rails Community Series re. Parental AlertsSLED is currently undergoing program changes to the Sex Offender System. If

you feel the information is incorrect, please contact the Sheriffs Department in the

county in which the sex offender is registered or SLED Sex Offender Registry at

(803) 896-1440.

Offender Information

Name: HAMMETT, SCOTT G

Sexual Predator: No

Ht: 6' 01" Wt: 240 lbs.

Eyes: Green Hair Color: Partially Gray

Skin Tone: Light

Address: 5 GUMTREE ROAD APT I33

HILTON HEAD ISLAND SC 29926

Status: Residence

Criminal Charges: Statute: 18 USC SEC

2252 A(A)(5)(B) Date of Conviction: 2005-

02-28

Literal: POSSESSION OF CHILD PORNOGRAPHY

Sentence Release Date: 2007-08-09

Offense: Statute: 18 USC 2252 Date of Conviction: 2005-02-28Literal: SENDING AND RECEIVING CHILD PORNOGRAPHY State of

Conviction: SC

RailTrai l

#


22/23

a-MAY-zing!


23/23

a MAY zing!

long

weekendsrock!

Memorial DayWeekend at the Wing!

HHI 72 Pope Ave. 785-WING Bluffton 1188 Fording Island Rd. (278) 837-WILD wildwingcafe.com

HHI - Memorial Day Weekend Line-Up!5.21 Thursday - Villanova 5.22 Friday - Mighty McFly5.23 Saturday - U-Phonik 5.24 Sunday - Silicone Sister

Bluffton - Memorial Day Weekend Line-Up!

5.21 Thursday - The Free Shotz 5.22 Friday - B-Town Playaz

5.23 Saturday - Radio Cult 5.24 Sunday - Live Music TBA

the line ups.

Hilton Head5.1 - Hot Sauce

5.2 - Wormsloew

5.7 Loose Cannons f. Nikki Lixx

5.8 - EPDMK

5.9 - The Gullah Roots

5.14 - Tokyo Joe

5.15 - Permanent Tourist

5.16 - The Plaids

5.21 - Villanova

5.22 - Mighty McFly

5.23 - U-Phonik

5.24 - Silicone Sister

5.28 - Airiel Down

5.29 - Johnny Swim

5.30 - Notion

BlufftonTuesdays - Kirk O' Leary

Thursdays - The Free Shotz

Fridays - The B-Town Playaz

Saturday Bands

5.2 - Zach Deputy

5.9 - Liquid Ginger

5.16 - Stoneking5.23 - Radio Cult

5.30 - Silicone Sister

Documents

Island Rail