In Search of the Perfect WordAdventures in Word Choice

Mari Uscategui

Tampa Bay Area Writing Project

2011

Goals for Today

To clarify and expand our understanding of word choice

To participate in writing opportunities that can support this expanded definition in the classroom

To increase our instructional options for teaching word choice

Why are Words Important?

“A writer works with words. If you were a writer, you would think of words that make pictures.”

~Joan Lowery Nixon, If You Were a Writer

Words are the writer’s tools. If you want to write and you’re not in love with your language, you shouldn’t be writing.

~ Jane Yolen, from Ralph Fletcher’s What a Writer Needs

The latest findings from the National Assessment of Educational Progress indicate that most students have mastered writing basics, but few are able to create precise, engaging, coherent prose.

~ from the Report of The National Commission on Writing in America’s Schools and Colleges: The Neglected “R”

Quick Write

What are some things students must possess in order to achieve stellar word choice in their writing?

Are You Tired of Having to Read Words Like These?

• Nice

• Cool

• Awesome

• Sad

• Mad

• Fun

• Good

The Synonym Sensation

Take a moment and list as many synonyms for the word good as you can.

Tastes so ___________ cats ask for it by name Della Femina/Travisano, 1976 for Meow Mix

You’re in __________ hands with Allstate Leo Burnett Agency, 1956 for Allstate

Mmm, Mmm, ___________ BBDO Agency, 1935 for Campbells

Finger lickin’ _____________

Ogilvy & Mather, 1952 for Kentucky Fried Chicken

__________ to the last drop! President Theodore Roosevelt, 1907 coined by Maxwell House

Does a BIGGER word mean it’s the right word?

A rich vocabulary allows a writer to get a richness of thought onto the paper. However, the writer’s real pleasure comes not from using an exotic word, but from using the right word in a sentence.

~ Ralph Fletcher, What a Writer Needs

What Is Word Choice ?

Word choice is more than just the use– or misuse– of words. It is also about beautiful language. It is about the use of rich, colorful, precise language that communicates not just in a functional way, but also in a way that moves and enlightens the reader.

~ Ruth Culham, 6+1 Traits of Writing

How Do I help My Students Improve Their Word Choice?

Encourage what you hear: children are capable of stellar word choice in their speech even if they can’t write that way yet

Provide opportunities for students to express themselves orally so that they can utilize the full power of the vocabulary that lives in their minds

Be a recorder for your students creating word walls and personal dictionaries that put the vocabulary they would prefer to use in their writing at their fingertips

From Vicki Spandel’s Creating Young Writers

ChattacciniChoose a piece of “pasta”

Use what’s written on it to spark an idea for writing. If you do not feel inspired with your first pick, choose again until you do

Write. While you write, pay careful attention to any descriptions you can provide in your writing so that a reader can really place himself in your moment

Chattaccini

With your shoulder partner, you may share what you’ve written, or use your box of chattaccini to ignite a conversation. Use as many or as few as you wish.

As your shoulder partner speaks or reads, jot down any words or phrases he or she uses that strike you.

How’s the Pasta?

Did this experience …

1. encourage listening to students?

2. provide opportunities for students to express themselves?

3. allow for the teacher to be a recorder of stellar words?

Surround students with examples in literature where the right word is used at the right time

What Else Can I do?

Literature Samples

“With invisible arms dawn erases the stars from the blackboard of night.Soon just the moon and a few stars remain.”

~ Twilight Comes Twice by Ralph Fletcher

“I will tell you everything I can

tell no one else, and you will

keep quiet because you have no

tongue and you cannot speak.

My pen is your tongue and I am

your voice so you will never

betray my secrets.

~ Behind the Mountains by

Edwidge Danticat

“Fireflies!

Blinking on, blinking off,

dipping low, soaring high above my head,

making circles around the moon,

like stars dancing.

~Fireflies!

by Julie Brinckloe

The wind wrestled her

for the package ---

walloped it, twisted it,

shook it, snatched at it.

But Irene wouldn’t yield.

~Brave Irene by William Steig

Grammar Time

How many words were used as adjectives?

How many adjectives did you use in your short piece?

Student Sample

“Hey Jenny, come play with me!” I heard my little sister call me cheerfully. “Okay,” I replied groggily. I got my tired, heavy, self off of my warm, fuzzy beach towel and wiped the scratchy, brown sand off my legs. I stretched my arms up into the air and arched my back as I slowly stood up and let the warm sun raise my temperature. I lazily walked down to the water where my dad was preparing to take my little sister into the salty-smelling waves.

~ from Deep Sea Discovery a story by Elena, grade 6

Does Word Choice Only Mean Adding Adjectives and Adverbs to

Writing?

It’s as easy to overdescribe as to underdescribe. Probably easier. ~ Stephen King, On Writing

After the Conference…

“Hey Jenny, come play with me!” I heard my

little sister call me. “Okay,” I replied. I hauled myself

off my newly-laundered towel and wiped the granulated

sandpaper from my legs. Stretching, I stood up and let

the sun warm me. I’d get to my sister…eventually.

~revised excerpt from Deep Sea Discovery by Elena, grade 6

“Your job is to say what you see, and then to get on with your story.”

~ Stephen King, On Writing

If not adjectives, then what?

“The nouns make the pictures, and the verbs

make those pictures move.”

~ Ralph Fletcher and JoAnn Portalupi, Craft Lessons

Perfect Precision: Literature Sample

“Perhaps Papa was feeling the same about us,

just as I was feeling about him. After five

years of fantasies, visions, and dreams, we

were all bound to be a little disappointed in

one another.”

~ Edwidge Danticat, Behind the Mountains

“Lightning fired his fiercest bolt straight at

Shrek’s head. Shrek just gobbled it, belched

some smoke, and grinned. Lightning,Thunder,

and Rain departed.” ~ Shrek! by William Steig

“Then we dashed about, waving our hands in the air like nets, catching two, ten – hundreds of fireflies, thrusting them into jars, waving our hands for more.”

~ Fireflies by Julie Brinckloe

Ready, Set, Action!Revisit the writing you produced earlier

Scrutinize your piece. Did you use many

hum-drum verbs?

Are there places the writing would improve if more active verbs were used?

Try to substitute stronger, more concrete nouns and verbs for some of the more run-of-the-mill ones you may have used

What Have We Learned About Word Choice?

Bigger is not always better

Precise nouns paint a clear picture

Active verbs bring the writing to life

“Dumbo got airborne with the help of a magic feather; you may feel the urge to grasp a passive verb or one of those nasty adverbs for the same reason. Just remember before you do that Dumbo didn’t need the feather; the magic was in him.”

~ Stephen King, On Writing

Finally, remember that…