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Grief-itti/Write out loud Wall
An opportunity to connect with other mothers and to create community through
self-expression
Statement of Purpose:
Online blogging and chat rooms are popular in our technologically driven culture. They provide a unique opportunity to create community and feel connected to others who are in similar life situations. The blackboard space here at the Museum of Motherhood is a more intimate and immediate setting for community building. It is a dynamic space to express your opinions.
Each week a new question or quote was posted. Mothers were invited to respond however they felt moved to do so.
The intention of this project was to re-invigorate a space that was in the original plan and vision for the museum – a space for mothers to connect with one another and build community. In a culture where sharing online is the norm, would mothers and caretakers feel comfortable to share their thoughts and opinions in a more intimate setting? Our hope was that mothers would feel connected to one another by sharing their thoughts, opinions, and experiences in a communal and common space.
-Statement of Purpose written by Julia Taylor-Images Compiled by Angelica Alonso
Responses:
“Your mom tried her best! She also failed sometimes.”
“I <3 my momma” - Kaitlyn
“I love my body”
“’Is it easy?’ – first question I asked my mother. She just laughed.”
“I love my kids! Just not every day”
“My body rocks”
“I <3 my kids and being a mom is the best job”
“I love my son”
“I was 10 lbs 13 oz. My mom is crazy. I never lived with her.”
“Being a mom is the BEST job ever and you can’t get laid off!”
Responses:
“For all the angels who flew too soon. We remember you”
“Miss you mom!”
“Momma Love is not only about the love a mother shows. It’s about the love she is shown, by herself and the world around her.” – Ali Smith
“We honor you”
“See what your body can really do. Become a mother”
“Where would we be without MOM?”
“Motherhood creates strong women and the world.”
“Rock your vaginas out!” xo Edith Evans GGOT
Responses:
“I am pushing past my own ambivalence about my mother to a more compassionate perspective – one that honors the core values of motherhood and looks beyond the personality, shortcomings, and flaws.” – after a visit with my mother
“The problem with mothers and daughters is that ‘each over-estimates the other’s power’”
“The witchery of living is my whole conversation with you my darlings” – Mary Oliver
“Being a full time mom is great, time flies. Enjoy your kids!” – Patricia
“Why does getting pregnant have to cost so much?” – future lesbian mom
“I worry that my job may take me to a state where I’m not allowed to adopt my wife’s biological child…” – Maura
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT WOMEN OVER 40 HAVING BABIES?
Responses:
“Still not sure how I feel re: having babies PERIOD”
“When you give birth, more than the baby comes out…” – Amy Simon
“I know you’re underpaid but you will not get this flexibility anywhere now you’re a mother” – actual quote from male boss (former boss now )
“Ask Tina Turner and Cher.”
“We’re taking a big risk on you because of your ‘nanny issue’” – actual quote from boss
“I want to be a mom”
“Anya took her first steps today at M.O.M!! 13 mos.”
“Today I crammed an entire week into one day”
Responses:
“Proud to be a mommy to Ally, Becca & Emma!”
“Happy to be a mother”
“Had no idea how absolutely knackered I would be!”
“Motherhood is very exciting if being educated.”
“I’m turning my kids into mini-mes BAD ”
“Motherhood is messy”
“Moms Rock!”
“It’s better to plan before becoming a mother.”
“Celebrate small successes!”
“Sometimes being a mom is not so amazing. Days are hard”
Responses:
“I FEEL LIFTED @ MOM Museum” – Evan’s mom
“You’re in the wrong neighborhood! The mothers around here all have nannies and just get their nails done all day!” – a husband
“Re: Mother The Job ExhibitHusband to his wife” ‘You get paid in Love’”
“My kids are the most interesting people I’ve ever met.”
WHAT ARE YOU THANKFUL FOR?
Responses:
“Matters of fact”
“No day is wasted!”
WHAT HOLIDAY TRADITION DO YOU CELEBRATE?
Responses:
“CHRISTIAN- BUDDHIST- JEWISH. ALL THREE!”
“Amazing JOY! Love, Annette”
“I consider myself a feminist AND – I cook!”
“I love to be surrounded by these amazing women!”
“No one ever tells you that it might be hard to get pregnant. (#@!#!!) Insurance pays for VIAGRA, but not for I.V.F. (riiiight.) It is my birthright to be a mother and the day it finally happens will be the greatest day of my life.”
“Paula J. Caplan loves this museum!”
“Thanks, we had a great time!”
“Wonderful warm place!” – Karen Howe
Responses:
“I want babies – 3 to 5… just not yet!”
“Beautiful art with beautiful people to enjoy it with”
“I used to be afraid of motherhood – but now I see it as one of the most empowering phases of life”
“I’ve loved meeting all of these wonderful women (and one boy!). I couldn’t have asked for any better way to start college! P.S.- I hope I can have kids!”“Me too”
“I love my mommy ”
“This is such an amazing display – I love that it’s so personal! The birth panels are pretty scary but so informative. Hope it stays open forever!” – Keven
“Joy Rose, you rock! Awesome museum. I’m 18 and starting to think about future motherhood. Thanks for the inspiration!”
“I feel so blessed to have taken this class, met all my wonderful classmates and teacher, and come to this museum. If I know one thing in this world, it’s that God’s calling to me is to be a mommy!”
DAY OF MATERNAL ACTIVISM
Responses:
“MAKE EVERYDAY YOUR MASTERPIECE!!”
“GO GREEN, MOMS! XOX Revell + Dash”
“Add ‘Activist’ to your resume today” – Rosemary Dreger Carey
“Climate Mama Moms For The Planet”
“The time for change is NOW” – Rachel D. Davis
“Mom, (senior citizen)
With work, bills, and all of life’s problems it’s not easy to raise 3 idiot boys, a rogue daughter and a dog. But somehow you do it all by yourself. Hopefully I’ll be as good of a parent. Even though I look like a clone of dad, all my positive qualities came from you. So even though I’m the police officer, you’re THE REAL HERO <3”
From Michael Checa
HOW HAS YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO POWER CHANGED SINCE BECOMING A MOTHER?
Responses:
“I often feel I am powerless to bed time…”
“YES?”
Paolo Montegazza stated “Maternity and breastfeeding quickly ruin many of woman’s most fleeting beauties.” What do you think?
Responses: “Is beauty determined by our flesh or our experiences? And who decides? Men?” – Joy Rose
“Truthfully I never had perfect to begin with so my answer is no. Only during breastfeeding in the beginning it can be scary”
MOTHERS, MOMS, MAMAS – WHO MOTHERS YOU?
Responses:
“My daughters mother me.”
“My sister and I mother each other”
“My friends mother me”
“Myself”
“That’s funny cuz I mother myself too”
“Sometimes my husband mothers me”
“I don’t know if I want to be mothered anymore…”
“… The maternal instinct is the root whence sympathy had sprung and that is the source whence the cohesive quality of the tribe originated.” – Eliza Burt Gamble (1894)
Responses:
“Many mothers do not possess a ‘maternal instinct’”
“I love my kids (even when I want to kill them)”
“Western imagery surrounding motherhood does not match reality.” – J. Ockenden, 2000
“Breastfeeding is an unsentimental metaphor for how love works. In a way, you don’t decide how much and how deeply to love – you respond to the beloved, and give with joy exactly as
much as they want.” – Marni Jackson
Responses:
“Breast milk = Love”
“The joy and pain inherent in the day-to-day experiences of mothering are designed to be fruitful and growth inducing by ultimately accelerating a woman’s spiritual development”
-Madaras Parker
Responses:
“Every day devoted to the ‘Great Creator’ – In motherhood I have found the greatest creativity of all! If that’s not ultimately spiritual, I don’t know what is?” – Joy Rose
“The joy and pain inherent in the day-to-day experiences of mothering are designed to be fruitful and growth inducing by ultimately accelerating a woman’s spiritual development”
– Madaras Parker
Responses:
“This world would be lost without the nurturing that comes from mothers, both physically and spiritually” – Shaq
“There is nothing that helps a child grow more than a mother’s love”
“Simplistic notions of autonomy mistakenly suggest that women undertake motherhood only at a cost to their personal development” – Daphne de Marneffe
What do you think?
Responses:
“Yes, a simplistic + false notion. If anything, motherhood brings self-development + autonomy – more complete understanding”
“Disagree! M.H. [motherhood], if embraced, furthers personal dev. – and in the most unexpected ways.”
What is one of the biggest misconceptions that society has of motherhood?
Responses:
“That it’s not a full-time job”
“That it’s easy”
What is the hardest part of being a mother?
Responses:
“1a. getting enough sleep1b. being a good “housewife” b/c raising children well = messy house.1c. deciding which fun stuff to teach your child first!”
“Find time for myself”“I agree”
“That you need to become very patient”
“Learning to let go”
“We live in a culture that is extremely uncomfortable with the expression of any so-called ‘negative emotion’ with regard to being a mother… it is still largely taboo to acknowledge that
we feel anything like disappointment, anger, or ambivalence.” – Sherri Muroff Kalt
Responses:
“<3 + frustration”
“Rollercoaster of emotions”
“I should have gotten support at the time”
“Maternal love is the emotional replacement for sexual attraction and the sacrifice of her beauty is the proof of woman’s competence in mothering.” – Cristina Mazzoni in Maternal Impressions
Responses:
“NO WAY! Sexy Mama”
“So says the father!”
“Sounds like something a man would say”
“Maternal love certainly distracts from sexual attraction. And your life revolves around your child & therefore you make many sacrifices physical & non-physical.”
“Motherhood is a space we occupy, it’s a state of being. It’s an ever-changing, dynamic space that forces us to go within, to reevaluate ourselves as individuals.” – Irina McGrath
Responses:
“No day goes as planned.”
“Once a (m)other always a (m)other!”
“My mom friends wld (would) prob. agree”
“Being a mom has made me a better person”
“Motherhood = patience”
“Motherhood is a raw, tender point of identity, and its relationship to other aspects of ourselves – our other aspirations, our need to work, our need for solitude – almost inevitably involves a
tension.” – Daphne de Marneffe
Responses:
“Trying to do it all does not work, so I try to do what I can ”“Said like a true mother”
“I’m so tired”
“If having children is all about love, it’s also about passion, and once you have passion, there’s always this other side – of feeling desperately frustrated, perhaps feeling depressed, angry, all the
other side of the intensity of love.” – Sheila Kitzinger
Responses:
“Love and passion are not the same. One is light- the other tends toward darkness. The middle way is the path… I yearn for that”
“All emotions should be present”
“I feel better about myself and those ‘other’ feelings now having it put this way.”
“So true about love & passion having a ‘dark’ side. But it’s what makes you feel alive! If there’s nothing to lose in a situation then maybe the stakes aren’t high enough. The true experience of life is yin/yang. You can’t have one without the other.”
“Parenting is a like an 18 year spiritual retreat. When you approach it that way, a new opening is created: a way of seeing parenthood as a tremendous privilege which allows for more spiritual
growth than possibly any other path.” – Morgan Khalsa Kaur
Responses:
“Mamahood is natural, beautiful & really hard! & worth every real, spiritual moment.”
“My creativity grew exponentially with each year of mothering”
“Motherhood is indeed a path, one that we are all walking the best way we know how and being given lessons along the way that are not always easy to accept with grace.” – Sarah Juliusson
