© Family Planning Victoria 2016

Forgive or forgetPurposeTo learn how to identify when boundaries have been crossed in a

relationship and develop strategies for managing and resolving conflict in

relationships with peers.

Teaching notesRemind students that they’re not to share personal stories, as the aim

is to look at general issues around friendships, relationships and ethical

behaviour rather than specific, real-life examples. You can leave a few

cards out of the activity, depending on students’ needs and maturity level.

Procedure1. Introduce the activity as being a way of talking about certain

behaviours that can happen during adolescence.

2. Clear a space on the floor and ask students to form a circle around it.

Place students into pairs.

3. Put the Forgive or forget situation labels titled, Challenge the person,

Forget the friendship, Forgive and Not sure on the floor, in the middle

of the space.

4. Let students know each pair will be given a card with a situation on it

and that they’ll need to decide which of these categories they think it

belongs under.

5. Give each pair of students a Forgive or forget situation card.

6. Ask them to put their card under their chosen category. This can be

done as a class, one card at a time, with an explanation as you go, or

after all the cards have been put down. Alternatively, this activity can

be done in small groups, followed by a class discussion. (Additional

cards would need to be printed).

7. Ask volunteers to share with the class why they chose to put their card

under the particular label.

Discussion A class discussion could include the following questions:

• Are there differences in what people think is forgivable?

• What impact might religion or culture have on this?

• What could a person do if they didn’t want to accept certain behaviour

from a friend or partner?

• What impact could drinking alcohol have on behaviour and is it an

excuse for bad behaviour?

• Why are some behaviours considered unacceptable?

• What other things happen during adolescence or at parties that are

either acceptable or unacceptable?

• Where or who can we go to for help, support or information about

relationships and abuse?

Activity: 7-8.9.2Key Messages

• We all deserve respect in a

friendship.

• We all have the right to say

when a friend has behaved

badly.

• We can develop strategies

to keep a friendship strong

and healthy.

Activity Details

Victorian Curriculum

Health & PE Investigate and select

strategies to promote

health, safety and

wellbeing VCHPEP126

Capabilities VCCCTM040

Time 30 minutes

Levels 7 & 8

Equipment • a set of Forgive or forget

cards

© Family Planning Victoria 2016

Forget the friendship

Challenge the person

Activity7-8.9.2

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Forgive

Not sure

Activity7-8.9.2

© Family Planning Victoria 2016

Your best friend flirts with your ex at a party and ends up

kissing them

Your friends won’t listen when you say you don’t want to

leave a party with a group to hang out at the park. When they go, you follow so you

won’t be left behind

Activity7-8.9.2

© Family Planning Victoria 2016

Your boyfriend/girlfriend forces you to drink at a party, even

though you said you didn’t want to

Your boyfriend/girlfriend doesn’t listen when you say

you only want to kiss. They go further than you want to, even

though you said no

Activity7-8.9.2

© Family Planning Victoria 2016

Your friend tells you that you’re too fat to wear the new jeans

you have on

You find out your best friend has been telling everyone in your class that your parents

are getting a divorce

Activity7-8.9.2

© Family Planning Victoria 2016

Your friends leave you at a party and you have to find

your own way home

Your older brother/sister tells your parents you were lying about being at your friend’s

place (you were at the skate park)

Activity7-8.9.2

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Your friend wants you to lie and say they are sleeping over at your house so they can stay at their boyfriend/

girlfriend’s place

You send a private text to your friend telling them about someone you like at school.

As a joke, they forward it on to that person.

Activity7-8.9.2

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Your friend teases you in public about someone you

have a crush on

Your girlfriend/boyfriend hooks up with someone while you’re

away, then says it was just kissing and meant nothing

Activity7-8.9.2

© Family Planning Victoria 2016

A friend borrows some clothes from you, then gets drunk and

vomits all over them at a party

You start doing a sexy dance at a party. A friend takes

photos of you and puts them on their Facebook page.

Activity7-8.9.2

© Family Planning Victoria 2016

A friend gets really drunk at a party and gives oral sex to a guy you know they don’t like

Your friend has been drinking at a party and flashes her

breasts at you. She asks you to take a photo of her on her phone and gets aggressive

until you do it. She then sends it to everyone in her address

book. The next day, she’s angry because you didn’t

stop her.

Activity7-8.9.2