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1
Mid July 2020 For the members, by the members
Welcome to the eighth edition of the CV Special Bulletins
helping us to keep in touch during the lockdown. Much as
we would like for everything to get back to normal, we
have to open things up very carefully indeed. This seems
to be a very crucial stage in dealing with the pandemic.
Some of us will be happy to remain in semi-lockdown for a
little longer. Celia Billau—Communications Officer
Outdoor group activities
Following our recent Zoom committee meeting, and in the light of government and National U3A trust
recommendations, we feel that it is time to begin a cautious opening of some of our groups which can meet
outdoors. This will probably be most relevant for groups such as: walking, photography or bird watching, or for
any smaller groups which could meet in a member’s garden. The National U3A have provided a risk assessment
form which must be filled in by the person who is organising the group, hence in our case it will probably be the
group facilitators. However, if this is not possible then an alternative person can be appointed to do this task. This
group risk assessment will then be sent to any member who is planning to participate in the activity and also to the
group co-ordinators. A list of any participants should be retained by the group facilitator in case they need to be
contacted in the future. Any members wishing to join in with the activity will then need to complete a personal
risk assessment which has also been provided by the U3A trust but this is just for their own reference and does not
need to be forwarded to anyone else. Anne and Kathy have produced an exemplar risk assessment which will help
facilitators to fill in the risk assessments and these can be obtained by emailing [email protected]. By
filling in the risk assessments we are conforming to the requirements of our national trust insurance policy.
The group will need to be no more than 6 people and if more wish to participate then they will need to be split into
two or more groups with a staggered start and with groups remaining in the ‘bubble’ they began the activity with.
It must be emphasised that it is totally up to each individual member to decide if they wish to participate in any
activities, as there is no doubt that there is still a risk to our health from the Coronavirus - especially as so many of
us are in the vulnerable category of being over 70. If you have any queries or questions please don’t hesitate in
contacting me at [email protected] and I will endeavour to answer you or alternatively direct them to
someone who can!
Margot Gale (Chair Beeston U3A)
AGM to be held online on Thursday August 6th 2020 at
10.30am. For those new to Zoom, there will be a practice
meeting on Wednesday August 5th at 10am. Look out for
emailed information coming soon.
2
Group News
Look out for the rolling notices that is emailed out every month which includes notices about groups.
Potential New Groups:
Desert Island Discs
Who doesn’t enjoy Desert Island Discs?
Might you be interested in putting together 8 of your favourite pieces of music, and then discussing these with a few others via Zoom? Not forgetting choosing your favourite track to save from the waves, alongside a book and a luxury of your choice to keep you safe and well on your desert island.
The BBC programme has produced a sheet which is freely available, to help with listing your music.
We could meet monthly.
I am available to talk over this suggestion and to start compiling a list of those interested on:
Maureen Moffatt
Suggestions for New Groups
We are living in uncertain times, and it is difficult to predict the future.
If you have any suggestions for new groups that could possibly run in the current restricted circumstances, please do contact us.
Anne and Kathy- Joint Groups Co-ordinators- [email protected]
Knitting and Crochet Group
The group has been in touch by email although this has been limited of late due to family commitments. We had an attempt at a zoom meeting and the few who attended it (I was the host needing more tuition) enjoyed talking to each other & displaying their impressive creations. I promise there will be another video meeting soon. I recently came across the simple idea of patterns for chair socks / glides to prevent floors being scratched by chairs - a simple crochet pattern. There are numerous ideas available online including pussy cat paws to add interest to dining room chairs. Sheila Schierbaum
Flower Group
Hello everyone, I do hope you and your families all remain safe and well. Gail has agreed to do a demonstration for us via Zoom and we’re going to attempt to copy her display. You will need a saucer, some oasis and some means of securing it to the saucer, and some flowers and greenery of course. She can’t yet confirm a date, but we are planning for the first week in August.
We shall have a little competition to see who can come up with the most interesting manner of displaying their flowers, (what can you find to place your saucer in or on). You need to let me know your details so I can send you an invitation to the Zoom meeting. If you have any concerns or questions don’t hesitate to contact me. I am really looking forward to taking part in a group activity again. It will be fun.
Maureen Moffatt [email protected]
American History
Following an excellent presentation from Richard Taylor about the American Constitution, we had an interesting discussion about American politics, relating historical events to today’s situation. It seems many of the founding fathers were younger than 40 in 1776. Now they have Trump and Biden, aged 74 and 77 respectively running for President. But the question is, who will be Biden’s running mate? If you wish to join in our next meeting on 11 August about the American’s love affair with guns, everyone is welcome.
Celia Billau [email protected]
3
News from U3A
Whilst many of our usual Beeston U3A activities are on hold during the pandemic, new activities have been
instigated. In the best learning traditions we have embraced new technologies, talked with friends over Zoom and
become creative in many different ways. How many of us have learned new skills over the last 4 months?
If you go to the national web site at u3a.org.uk there are a number of links you may find of interest. In the Learning
tab, you’ll find the Creative Covid Collaboration, which is a showcase for creative talents. The idea is to produce a
national collage of photos showing your creations
which could be knitting, a mosaic, leatherwork,
quilting or a painting. The Learning tab also
includes a Diary Project, a Weekly Quiz and U3A
Eye as an outlet for photographers, and many
more topics of interest. You can sign up for the
Newsletter which includes advice about Covid.
Under the Resources tab, there are guides on
using Zoom and other technology to help us keep
in touch.
If you’ve got a Facebook account, there is a page called U3A: Keeping In Touch which always receives a lot of
interest, and the break-out group The Political Philosophers Group where political views are acceptable. Other
U3As across Nottinghamshire are part of a network and ideas are being shared across the network. The Trust keep
the Committee informed about how it is proposed to re-start U3A activities, and this will help us to keep us all
safe, while we balance government guidelines, venue safety procedures and individuals’ attitude to risk. It’s not
going to be easy, but we’ll get there in the end.
“Virtual Village Hall”
The Royal Voluntary Service usually have hundreds of activities taking place across the country in community centres and social clubs, giving people the opportunity to get together, have fun and socialise. Realising that people must be missing this interaction during lockdown they are bringing their activities to you!
The Virtual Village Hall brings you a programme of free themed online video sessions led by expert tutors, RVS activity co-ordinators, volunteers, and some well known faces. Activities have been designed for people to do at home and require very little space or equipment.
There is plenty to choose from so people can continue to enjoy the things they like doing, or maybe try something new. There are creative arts and crafts, music and singing, cooking and baking, dance and exercise, health and well being, reading and writing, and technology skills.
You’ll be spoilt for choice exploring what is on offer: watch a special performance from the winners of The Greatest Dancer 2020; take on Barbara Dixon’s part in a duet with Elaine Paige; look after your wellbeing with some meditation and relaxed breathing sessions (as well as “Laughter Yoga”); listen to some poetry; singalong with some favourite songs from the shows; learn how to install Skype; get some book recommendations for some lockdown reading; or brush up on your beatboxing skills with Mr Phormula. And all from the comfort of your own home!
Sessions are available for all to access 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and feature both live and pre-recorded activities to join in with. To find out more visit:
https://www.royalvoluntaryservice.org.uk/virtual-village-hall/
4
MUSINGS OF AN EMERGING LOCKDOWNER
As we emerge from the lock down, I’ve been wondering where the past 12 weeks have gone. I find I’m halfway to next Christmas, and worse still, I’m halfway to my next birthday. Oh dear.
The robins which were chattering to me as I strolled along B.F.D. (Not Big Friendly Giant but Beeston Fields Drive) early on have all raised their broods; the blue/coal tits have moved on and the woodpecker has ceased trying to give itself a headache. I wonder if we’re in for a severe autumn – blackbirds are already ravaging the berries from our berberis bush; gold crests and various tits are emptying the niger seeds as fast as I replace them and the other day, we had a brief visit from a jay. Last year’s woodpecker seems to have forgotten where she found an ant’s nest in our back grass.
I/we have one major achievement to our name during lock down. After much perseverance, not being terribly computer savvy, we mastered “shopping on - line”. Although we’d been faithful to a certain store beginning with “S”, they wouldn’t recognise us as being “vulnerable”, so I defected to the next store down the line. Isn’t it amazing? – there’s every mortal thing on there. With practice, I’ve even managed to navigate the “Rest of shelf” – whiskies galore and gins I’ve never heard of. And cabbages, pointed, white, large round. It’s all another world. Are there any downsides? One can’t pass the time of day with the ladies on the checkout, thereby holding up the queue behind, and “Oh” the bills come to more.
It was very inconsiderate a few weeks ago, during a heavy downpour, for the flat roof over our kitchen to spring a leak. Still, it is 28+ years so it hasn’t done badly. Getting a quotation nowadays is an adventure! What has become of “letting your fingers riffle through the Yellow pages” to find and support a local tradesman? Google “Roofing firms Nottingham” and up pops “My Trader”. Enter problem and local tradesmen will contact you if interested. One fellow did not even get up on the roof to have a look and came to an expensive, fibreglass solution from his step ladder. Needless to say, he didn’t get the job. Fortunately, a neighbour who saw me on the roof had had some work done recently and put me in touch with a local firm. They’re very busy!
With three quarters of an hour’s notice we were asked if we would like to go to a V.E. celebration street party. The photo is the result of a short time in “make up” – blue and white for me with Jill adding the red. Our neighbour across the street produced two Churchill sized cigars, inviting an owner for one! Guess who?
On our exercise stroll the other day we were chatting to our postman, commenting how “light” his postbag seemed to be. “True”, he said; however, we learned that the parcel delivery side of the business is currently FOUR times busier than recent Christmases. The Hermes delivery chap is also doing a roaring trade – the rear of his car piled high with boxes. We can hear him coming half a street away, music thumping out of his speakers. When you try to talk to him, he can’t hear a thing – I reckon he’s doing his hearing serious damage.
On the way into Beeston the other day to collect a prescription I saw the lights on in my barbers. I caught the young lady (never seen her before) eyeing up my mane as she sought her appointments app. “Would you like to make an appointment to get an estimate”? Quickly I thought of all the savings I’d made over the past several weeks from not going in and decided “in for a penny, in for a pound”. So, Friday afternoon it is. Wish me luck.
Haydn Boothroyd
Have you been to the hairdressers yet?
5
What we learned from our parents—Part 2
13 My father taught me the Circle of Life
“I brought you into this world and I can take you out”
14 My mother taught me about Behaviour Modifica-
tion
“Stop acting like your father”
15 My mother taught me about Envy
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this
world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”
16 My mother taught me about Anticipation
“Just wait until we get home.”
17 My mother taught me about Receiving
“You are going to get it from your father when you
get home.”
18 My mother taught me about Medical Science
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going
to get stuck that way.”
19 My mother taught me ESP
“Put your sweater on, don’t you think I know when
you are cold.”
20 My father taught me Humour
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes,
Don’t come running to me.”
21 My mother taught me How to become an adult
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow
up.”
22 My mother taught me Genetics
“You’re just like your father.”
23 My mother taught me about Roots
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were
born in a barn.”
24 My mother taught me Wisdom
“When you get to be my age you’ll understand.”
25 My father taught me Justice
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out
just like you.”
Maureen Rushton
Some anagrams:
PRESBYTERIAN = BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER = MOON STARER
DESPERATION = A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES = THEY SEE
THE MORSE CODE = HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES = CASH LOST IN ME
ELECTION RESULTS = LIES – LETS RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS = ALAS NO MORE Z’S
A DECIMAL POINT = I’M A DOT IN PLACE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO = TWELVE PLUS ONE
Dave Gretton.
Hospital rules
Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, a student nurse found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly allowed the nurse to wheel him to the lift. On the way down she asked him if his wife was meeting him.
'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.’
Marie Heath
Did you hear about the Buddhist who
refused Novocain during root canal
treatment? His goal: to transcend dental
medication.
6
MY FIRST HOME
I was born in 1949, in Bristol.
My first home, a Georgian terraced house was small, dark, damp and poorly maintained.
It had already been condemned as a slum, but accommodation was very scarce so soon after the war, and my parents were just grateful to have somewhere to live.
There were two rooms upstairs, and two down, and a basic kitchen at the back. It had two gas rings joined to a gas pipe with a rubber tube. There was also some kind of oven. There was a large Belfast sink with a wooden draining board, and a boiler for washing clothes etc. Wash day was always a Monday. My mum would light the boiler until the water was boiling. She would washing in a cycle; whites, coloureds, and work-clothes. Delicates were hand washed. She had to use a large set of wooden tongs to get the clothes out of the boiler, because the water was too hot to put one's hands into. In the yard was a mangle and the clothes were passed through it to get most of the water out. It was a whole day job, with heavy wet sheets to deal with as well as clothes. All this was ironed on a Tuesday with an iron which was heated on the gas cooking rings, and then used in a sort of 'dashing' movement to avoid burning the article being ironed. In fact there was a popular song called 'Dashing away with the smoothing iron'!
One consequence of this long hard working day was that we would have 'cold cuts' for our main meal. That was the leftovers of our Sunday roast, eaten cold.
I shared this house with a sister and two brothers. We all slept together in one large, double, brass bed. The top two feet of the bedroom walls was permanently wet, and there was no heating upstairs. It was so cold in the winter that my father would place his heavy army greatcoat on the children's bed for extra warmth. In winter, when we woke up, we would look at Jack Frost's patterns on the inside of the window pane, which told us that our tiny warm feet would have to make contact with a numbingly cold lino covered floor when we got out of bed.
Downstairs, in the living room was a valve radio, housed in a light brown, domed, wooden casing. Until I grew up, I always thought that there were lots of little people living in this radio, and I couldn't quite figure out how they had all got in there, or how all the actors and actresses, big bands, newsreaders, announcers, singers etc., managed to live!
Our primitive toilet was 'out back' in a narrow brick alcove, next to the coalhouse. It had a short wooden door with a gap at the bottom of some 12 – 18” - very cold and draughty! In winter it was necessary to break the frozen water in the toilet bowl, with a stout stick, kept in the loo solely for that purpose. Toilet paper was simply torn up old newspaper! Very uncomfortable and rough! Therefore potties were the order of the day in the bedrooms. After all, no-one was ever going to go out into the overlooked yard in the pitch black, in a howling gale, or even on a balmy summer's night, to use the outside loo!
The skylight in the kitchen was permanently jammed open, which allowed a perpetual draught to circulate through the house, as well as letting in rain and snow. The front room downstairs, was the living room. When a coal fire was lit, we would often toast bread, or crumpets in front of it, using a toasting fork. It was in this very room that I remember my mother, consecutively, and distraughtly nursing all of us four children, when we had whooping cough. I have an image imprinted on my mind of her loving face looking down at me, as I looked back up at her, whilst gasping for breath, and hacking that awful cough, after which this terrible disease is named.
Thankfully we all recovered, just as we did from mumps, measles, and chicken pox, but the threat of polio, rickets and scarlet fever still really scared my parents.
Well, I could go on for ages about my first home, but I will say just two more things.
The first is an irony of life. These houses, in Terrell Street, were all demolished in the early 1960s, in order to make room for the expansion of the nearby Bristol Royal Infirmary.
On the exact spot where our house had stood, the hospital built their Oncology Dept., and it was here, fifty years later, that my sister came for treatment for her breast cancer. I remember her telling me that she was wondering if she were destined to begin and end her life on the same spot of this planet, but the treatment was successful and she made a full recovery.
And the other thing I want to say, is, that despite the childhood diseases, the poor housing, basic food, lack of treats, wooden toys and second hand clothes, we all laughed a lot, played games, and were a happy family.
Unfortunately, it didn't last. My parents had a very acrimonious marriage breakdown, but that's another story.
© Bob Reader June 2020
7
I think we are all very pleased that things are getting back to normal. My main anxiety is going into public and starting life again as it should be. I have mentioned before about getting to know the neighbours better. I do not have a funny situation that happened recently but I can tell of once when we were on holiday with my parents and my Mum asked if I thought I had put any weight on. She said “I know I have – I was ten stone and now I am half past!” Brenda Wilkie
School test
Pay special attention to the wording and spelling. if you know the bible, even a little, you'll find this hilarious! It comes from a Caithness school test.
Kids were asked questions about the old and new testaments. The following 25 statements about the bible were written by children. They have not been retouched or corrected. Incorrect spelling has been left in.
1. In the first book of the bible, Guinness. god got tired of creating the world so he took the sabbath off.
2. Adam and eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was Joan of ark. Noah built and ark and the animals came on in pears.
3. Lots wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night.
4. The jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic genitals.
5. Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.
6. Samson slayed the philistines with the axe of the apostles.
7. Moses led the jews to the red sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread without any ingredients.
8. The egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up to mount cyanide to get the ten commandments.
9. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
10. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
11. Moses died before he ever reached canada then Joshua led the hebrews in the battle of geritol.
12. The greatest miricle in the bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
13. David was a hebrew king who was skilled at playing the liar. He fought the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in biblical times.
14. Solomon, one of Davids sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
15. When Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the magna carta.
16. When the three wise guys from the east side arrived they found Jesus in the manager.
17. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
18. St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head.
19. Jesus enunciated the golden rule, which says to do unto others before they do one to you. He also explained a man doth not live by sweat alone.
20. It was a miricle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
21. The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels.
22. The epistels were the wives of the apostles.
23. One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.
24. St. Paul cavorted to christianity, he preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marraige.
25. Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
Sylvia Trench
A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons.
The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only
one carrion allowed per passenger.'
8
Notable people of Nottingham and Nottinghamshire Past & Present
wrote 'Women in Love' D H Lawrence
all England Champion Bare-knuckle fighter
as this person Alan Rickman 'called off Christmas'
author of 'Saturday Night and Sunday Morning'
best remembered for his six sixes against Glamorgan
Born 1731 cartographer & artist, mapped Culloden
born B W Jewry his mum ran a boarding house in Mansfield
born in Sierra Leone c 1763 and became a free holder
C Babbage's description 'The Enchantress of Numbers'
Clergyman and inventor of the Stocking Frame
co-founded of the charity 'Headway'
created the 'Dambusters March'
designer and fashion entrepreneur
English physicist, Nobel prize winner and MRI pioneer
English poet born 1785 and died age 21
Flying Ace VC, DSO & Two Bars
founder of the 'Beeston Lads Club'
he transformed a herbal store to pharmaceutical global giant
he was also a playwright and exhibitor painter
his Test debut 09.12.07 in Sri Lanka
known as 'The Queen's Jester'
Notts legend first bowler to pass 400 Test wickets
one of Blue Peter's presenters who came from Mansfield
played for NCCC recorded 7 centuries in Test Cricket
principal player in the civil war, married Bridget Cromwell
Ronnie Barker's side kick in 'Porridge'
Swimmer 4 Olympic medals & World Champion
this actor's name rhymes with her tram number 224
this Nottingham architect was born in Mansfield
this pair danced to the 'Bolero' on ice
was a Methodist preacher & founded the Salvation Army
won the Australian men’s single tennis title in 1947
Answers to Historic Castles, Halls and Others in CV7 A Scottish icon on a plug of vol-canic rock
Edinburgh Cas-tle
Ancestors of George Washing-ton built this in 1539 Sulgrave Manor
Designed by Adam and known as No. 1 London Aspley House
Edwin Lutyens designed this one in Devon Castle Drogo
Edwin Lutyens altered this one in Northumberland
Lindisfarne Castle
Eleanor of Castile acquired this in 1278 Leeds Castle
Ellis, Currer and Acton Bell lived here
Bronte Parson-age
Famous for St Margaret’s Chap-el
Edinburgh Cas-tle
Famous for the 'King Maker' Warwick Castle Founded in 563 by St Columba Iona Abbey Home of Sir Walter Scott Abbotsford Immortalised in Macbeth & witnessed many coronations Scone Palace
In 1575 the Earl of Leicester entertained Elizabeth I
Kenilworth Castle
Investiture for Prince Charles Caernarfon Caste
Its most famous owner Church-ill Chartwell
James V died here Falkland Palace Lincolnshire moated red brick tower built in 1433
Tattershall Cas-tle
Lord William Armstrong's house Cragside
Mary Queen of Scots was born here
Linlithgow Pal-ace
Neolithic village on a Scottish island Skara Brae
Newton's apple tree is here Woolsthorpe Manor
One of Harry Potter's in North-umberland Alnwick Castle
One of Robert Smythson's in Nottingham Wollaton Hall
Queen's official residence in Scotland
The Palace of Holyrood
Sarah Duchess of Marlborough lived here
Blenheim Pal-ace
Sshh this is a secret 'Station X' Bletchley Park The castle that saved the hon-ours of Scotland
Dunnottar Cas-tle
The Duke of Argyll's seat Inveraray Cas-tle
The Wallace Monument seen from here Stirling Castle
This one had an underground roadway in Nottinghamshire Welbeck Abbey
Was Edward II murdered here? Berkley Castle
9
THE NEXT LINES, THE TITLE AND THE SINGER(S) - Answers in the next Bulletin
1. You don’t like crazy music, you don’t like rocking bands. You just want to go to a movie show and sit there hold-
ing hands You’re so square,
2. The taxman’s taken all my dough and left me in my stately home
3. I see trees of green, red roses too, I see them grow for me and you, And I think to myself
4. Nothing you can say can tear me away from
5. Everybody’s doing a brand new dance now C’mon baby do
6. You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain, too much love drives a man insane, you broke my will, but what a
thrill, goodness gracious
7. Friday night and everything’s right, For the
8. Oh you railway station, oh you Pullman train Here’s my reservation for my destination far beyond the western
plains. To see my home in
9. When I see my baby what do I see? Poetry,
10. As I walk along I wonder what went wrong with our love, a love that was so strong, And as I still walk on I think
of the things we’ve done together while our hearts were young And I wonder, oh where she will stay, yay
11. I want to be your lover but your friend is all I stay, I'm only
12. Come on everybody clap your hands, oh you’re looking good I’m gonna sing my song it won’t take long,
we’re gonna do the twist and it goes like this
13. Well he walked up to me and he asked me if I wanted to dance. He looked kinda nice and so I said I might take
a chance…..
14. When I find myself in times of trouble Mother Mary comforts me, speaking words of wisdom
15. You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life Ooh see that girl, watch that scene Dig in the...
Tim Vine One-liners
"I’m against hunting. In fact, I’m a hunt saboteur. I
go out the night before and shoot the fox."
"This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a
piece of very thin paper. He said, 'I want you to
trace someone for me.'"
"I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was
playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, 'that's Abba
-riginal.'"
"I've decided to sell my Hoover - it was just
collecting dust."
"I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great,
the world's your oyster, go for it.'"
"I went down the local supermarket. I said: 'I want to make a complaint – this vinegar’s got lumps in it.' He said: 'Those are pickled onions.'"
“Uncle Ben has died. No more Mr Rice Guy.”
10
I’M SORRY I HAVEN’T A CLUE
GUESTS ARRIVING AT THE SUMMER BALL BEING ANNOUNCED BY THE BUTLER.
All the answers are correctly spelled British names or shortened versions. Example – “a very warm welcome to Mr & Mrs Pinching and their tight-fisted daughter. Answer = Penny. When combined with the surname the answer may not always be a correctly spelt word, it just sounds like a word, e.g. Mr. and Mrs Chovy and their daughter who swims every day. Answer = Ann which makes it sound like Anchovy, not An.
A warm welcome to Mr. and Mrs:
1. Tuckyderby with their jockey son
2. Dingstart and their son who’s fast off the mark
3. Lance and their daughter working in the NHS
4. Istrate and their judgmental daughter
5. Tation with their romantic daughter
6. Fying and their scary son
7. Biding and their very obedient daughter
8. Ning and their dusky daughter
9. Robe with their germ-laden son
10. Meter with their son who keeps his distance
11. Luate and their calculating daughter
12. Bation and their city-dwelling son
13. Erpen and their highlighted son
14. Fication and their morally improved son
15. Rates and their daughter who makes things better
16. Table and their very appropriate daughter
17. Tual and their repetitive daughter
18. Borate and their complex daughter
19. Awl and their son who likes to make a point
20. Vating and their drooling daughter
21. King and their drippy son
22. Irable and their very attractive son
23. Tament and their bible reading daughter
24. Nine and their son, a member of Pride
25. Iper and their gin-sozzled daughter
26. Ant and their son who can’t be persuaded
27. Osa and their savoury son
28. Alty and their son who just married a princess
29. Manist and their non-religious, rational and ethical son
30. Tiality with their perverted daughter
31. Drawers with their furniture making son
32. Vial with their very happy daughter
33. Retical with their impractical son
34. Imum with their highest scoring son
35. Con with their cross daughter
There are 39 Beatles songs in this picture. Can you guess
them all?
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir
Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
11
Masking up
The World Health Organisation changed its guidance in June following evolving evidence of Covid transmission.
Along with the general advice about washing hands and not touching your face, the wearing of a mask is seen as
another essential line of defence when physical distancing is not always possible.
From 24 July face coverings will be required when visiting shops in
England. The UK has never grown used to wearing masks in the same way
that other countries, particularly in the Far East, where citizens have worn
masks regularly. In the USA, mask-wearing has become a political football,
with groups of protestors taking to the streets refusing to wear one. Face
coverings can be a means of individual expression, with scarves and buffs
being adapted, slogans and signs displayed, or
just pretty patterned material.
Here's me in my very fetching all-black mask
with vents. Please send me your photos of you
wearing a mask and maybe we can guess who
the face belongs to, and we can have a vote as
to whose mask is the most impressive.
Beware of the myths around wearing masks. Here’s a couple of mythbusters published by
the WHO:
Will mask-wearing become much more the norm when out and about in the UK? Will it become a fashion
accessory that people would not want to be seen without? Like wearing seatbelts in cars, will it become socially
unacceptable not to be wearing one? This pandemic is changing many facets of our lives, and many people talk
about a “new normal”. Maybe mask-wearing will become part of the new normal when out and about, and when
social distancing isn’t possible,
Celia Billau
12
Watch out for Scams
Action Fraud have reported a rise in Corona virus-related scams which it’s useful to be aware of:
1 - Watch out for scam messages Your bank, or other official organisations, won’t ask you to share personal information over email or text. If you receive an email you’re not quite sure about, forward it to the Suspicious Email Reporting Service (SERS): [email protected] 2 - Shopping online If you're making a purchase from a company or person you don't know and trust, carry out some research first, for example, by checking to see if others have used the site and what their experience was. If you decide to go ahead with the purchase, use a credit card if you have one, other payment providers may not provide the same protection. 3 - Unsolicited calls and browser pop-ups offering tech support Never install any software, or grant remote access to your computer, as a result of a cold call. Remember, legitimate organisations would never contact you out of the blue to ask for financial details such as your PIN or full banking password.
NHS Test and Trace scams:
Contact tracers will only call you from the number 0300 013 5000. Anyone who does not wish to talk over the phone can request the NHS Test and Trace service to send an email or text instead, inviting them to log into the web-based service. All text or emails sent by NHS Test and Trace will ask people to sign into the contact tracing website and will provide you with a unique reference number. We would advise people to type the web address https://contact-tracing.phe.gov.uk directly into their browser, followed by the unique reference number given to you, rather than clicking on any link provided in the message. The NHS Test and Trace service will never:
• ask you to dial a premium rate number to speak to them (for example, those starting 09 or 087)
• ask you to make any form of payment or purchase a product or any kind
• ask for any details about your bank account
• ask for your social media identities or login details, or those of your contacts
• ask you for any passwords or PINs, or ask you to set up any passwords or PINs over the phone
• ask you to download any software to your PC or ask you to hand over control of your PC, smartphone or tablet to anyone else
• ask you to access any website that does not belong to the government or NHS
If you think you have been a victim of fraud, please report it to Action Fraud at https://www.actionfraud.police.uk or by calling 0300 123 2040.
Selection of garden photo-
graphs from Dave Gilbert
