Fitting In at Homeschool Co-Op

7/30/2019 Fitting In at Homeschool Co-Op

1/4

Fitting In at Homeschool Co-OpKathryn Porter

A child with autism can pass for any other child. Autism is often referred to as an invisible

disability. What happens in a homeschool co-op setting when your child looks like everyother child but does not meet the behavioral expectations set for every other child?

In our first homeschool co-op, I observed my son during class. It looked like this: perfectchild, perfect child, perfect child, my child. While his behavioral issues looked like willful

disobedience to other moms, many of those issues were due to his difficulty in coping withsensory input and his challenges in navigating the social world. Parents commented that

they were afraid to register their children to attend classes in which my child would beparticipating. I was informed that in order for us to continue our involvement there, I would

need to attend all of his classes and serve as his personal aide.

However, we cant be our childrens personal aides forever. That is why its so important forus to teach them the hidden curriculum of how to navigate the social world. For kids on the

autism spectrum, social skills challenges make fitting into a homeschool co-opandeverywhere elsechallenging.

Social Skills Challenges

Literal Interpretation

Individuals who have autism tend to see the world with a black/white lens. You are either

telling the truth or you are not.

I first realized the role of the literal mind in education during my sons kindergarten year,

before we received his diagnosis. After watching a cartoon of the Nativity in Sunday School,my son came out of church in tears: You lied to me, Mommy, you lied! You told me Jesuswas real, but now I know the truth. I learned it at church. After some investigating, I

figured out how he had arrived at this conclusion. I had taught him that cartoon characters

were not real. He had just watched Jesus as a cartoon character; therefore, Jesus must notbe real. God opened my eyes that day.

Our childrens teachers at our homeschool co-ops need to understand what this means. For

example, telling a joke in class might make the teacher a liar. Using sarcasm causesconfusionwhy say one thing when you mean another? And then there are idioms. If

someone remarks that its raining cats and dogs, then it better literally be raining cats and

dogs. In addition to reading, writing, and rithmetic, our kids need to learn the nuances ofjokes, sarcasm, and figures of speech.

Nonverbal Cues

Its been said that as much as 80% of our communication is nonverbal. We communicate

with facial expressions and body language. Imagine what it might be like if you missed 80%

of an important discussion but then were expected to understand 100% of what was said.

Children with autism struggle more when it comes to social communication due to difficultyin reading nonverbal cues. Many children with autism find comfort in the virtual world as

they get older because they dont have to decode facial expressions and body languageonline. However, they still need to learn how to decipher nonverbal cues.


2/4

Nonverbal cues also affect our childrens comprehension of social boundaries. For example,

they might not understand if they hover too close to people. We need to teach our childrenabout concepts such as space bubbles without assuming they will learn them via osmosis

by observing other children.

Social Justice

In the world of special needs, social justice isnt about some political ideology concerning

redistribution of wealth. For the child with autism, its often all about following the rules.

Rules are important. Everyone should know them and everyone should follow them. Woe tothe friend or classmate who breaks the rules.

Children on the autistic spectrum often like to play the role of police officercatching othersin the lawbreaking act and bringing it to the attention of the adult in authority. Sometimesthey prefer to play judge and jury, dispensing swift justice as they see fit, often in the form

of aggression.

Because of this trait, we need to share with co-op teachers that they need to be morepatient with our kids if it feels like they tattletale on others a little too much. They need to

know that rather than expecting our children to work it out with another child, it would bebetter to separate the two children, assigning them seats apart from each other. As parents,we need to help them resolve these issues outside of class.

Mind Blindness

Children on the autistic spectrum often expect others to read their minds. However, we

dont always know what our children are thinking, nor do their teachers. This can lead tosome volatile situations.

I taught a beginning reading class in which my son was one of the students. Whilepracticing letters on the whiteboard, another student got up to take his turn and erased mysons letters. Consequently, that student became my sons mortal enemy. My son stood upbeside his desk and lunged at this boy, knocking me down as I placed myself in front of the

student.

My assistant took over the class as I calmed down my son, who shared with me that the

boy in question had broken the rules because he had erased my sons letters. That was not

myrule. No one knew how important it was to my son to leave his letters on the whiteboarduntil class ended. Just as our kids with autism lack an understanding of the unwritten rulesof social communication, they sometimes expect others to know the unspoken rules oftheir

world.

Mind blindness also shows itself when our children act on the belief that allother people arejust as fascinated with their special interests as they are. They need to learn that not

everyone finds trains (or whatever their special interest) exciting and how to hold aconversation focused on non-preferred topics.

So how can we help our children learn the hidden curriculum in the homeschool co-opsetting and beyond?


3/4

Teach the hidden curriculum in the same way that you would teach phonics.Dont just

assume your child understands the difference between frustrated and angry. Show him

pictures of the two facial expressions. Talk about how the expressions are different andsimilar at the same time. Get a book about idioms and teach them one by one.

Take advantage of natural learning opportunities. When there are misunderstandings,

determine the cause and address it. Teach strategies to deal with anger in an appropriateway before issues occur. Help your child learn that autism is not an excuse to be mean to

others, even if someone else hurts them first.

Teach your child about his or her diagnosis. Understanding who they are will help them

understand the world around them. Explain that other people process the world in adifferent way and that different is okay.

Be your childs advocate. Talk to enrichment teachers about how they can help your childexcel in the co-op setting. Explain your childs diagnosis to other childrenat their level. Letothers know that our children arent disabledtheyre just differently-abled.

Co-ops provide great opportunities for homeschool families, including those with special

needs. As we teach our children how to navigate the social expectations of the co-opsetting, we teach the world to love and accept our children. By building relationships within

our respective co-ops, we then begin to see each others childrenboth neuro-typicalchildren and those with special challengesfor who they are. We see kids, none of whomare perfect, yet each one beautifully and wonderfully made.

Kathryn Porter is the homeschooling parent of a child with high-functioning autism. She is aspecial needs advocate who offers training on invisible disabilities. She enjoys teachingsensory-rich classes at her homeschool co-op. She earned her masters degree in special

education at the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs. Kathryn is also the authorofToo Much Stuff: Winning the War Against Clutter (Beacon Hill, 2012) and can bereached through her website atclutterwise.com.

SIDEBAR

Seven Tips to Identify an Inclusive Co-Op

1. Talk to other homeschooling parents of children with special needs. What co-op in towndo they attend? Which teachers do they recommend?

2. Interview co-op teachers. Ask open-ended questions about how they feel about teachingchildren with your childs diagnosis.

3. Observe the co-op for a day. Make arrangements to visit the co-op and sit in on classes.Note how teachers and students interact with homeschoolers who share characteristics that

your child exhibits.

4. Look for key words in class descriptions. Certain words indicate that the teacherunderstands how to reach students with special challenges. Terms such as sensory, hands-

on, and explorationmight indicate that the teacher is open to outside the box learners.

5. Check with the co-op leadership about what types of training co-op teachers receive. Ifthe teachers receive any training at all, thats a big plus. If they mention special needs

training, thats even better.
http://www.clutterwise.com/http://www.clutterwise.com/http://www.clutterwise.com/http://www.clutterwise.com/http://www.clutterwise.com/http://www.clutterwise.com/


4/4

6. Ask if there are any special needs support groups attached to the co-op. If not, are they

open to the suggestion? Are they aware of other special needs homeschooling supportgroups that could meet your needs? Even if you are not interested in becoming involved

with that support group, their ability to answer these questions speaks volumes.

7. Try it out for one semester. Not every co-op is a good fit for every child. However, youllnever know if its a good fit unless you try. If possible, start small, registering for only one

or two classes.

Copyright 2012, used with permission. All rights reserved by author. Originally appeared in

the February 2012 issue ofThe Old Schoolhouse Magazine, the family educationmagazine. Read the magazine free at www.TOSMagazine.com or read it on the go and

download the free apps at www.TOSApps.comto read the magazine on your mobile devices.
http://www.tosmagazine.com/http://www.tosmagazine.com/http://www.tosmagazine.com/http://www.tosapps.com/http://www.tosapps.com/http://www.tosapps.com/http://www.tosapps.com/http://www.tosapps.com/http://www.tosapps.com/http://www.tosapps.com/http://www.tosapps.com/http://www.tosapps.com/http://www.tosmagazine.com/http://www.tosmagazine.com/http://www.tosmagazine.com/http://www.tosmagazine.com/http://www.tosmagazine.com/http://www.tosmagazine.com/

Documents

Fitting In at Homeschool Co-Op