Issue 41 | Page 1Visit us at femnet.goanet.org

Issue 41 | August 2015 | 4 Pages | For free circulation only

Visit

for daily news updates

Frederika Menezes (Goa, India)

HEAVEN'S GREATEST GIVINGFrom the Editor

Greetings Dear Readers!

Our issue this month is dedicated to friends and the b e a u t i f u l b o n d o f friendship. They come in all shapes, colours and sizes. Friends are the family we choose fo r ourse lves (well… friends and our in-laws!) Luckily, the former come without rulebooks. We can be our own true, crazy weird selves when we are with them and they w i l l c e l e b r a t e o u r craziness. They are the ones who will pick us up a f ter they 've f in ished laughing when we've had a fall, they are the ones you can call at 3:00 in the morning when you are wide awake or need a trip to the emergency room. The ones who can make you laugh when you want to cry and put you back together when you are falling apart.

We also look at diabetes and its management as well as the importance of h a v i n g o u r g i r l s a n d daugh te r s ou t i n t he playgrounds, the important effect that play has on their well-being and what we can do to contribute. Let's not forget, playgrounds are also the places where we form our first friendships.

So dear Readers, please join us in committing to a healthier, more act ive lifestyle and raise your glasses to the people who accept us for who we are.

Cheers!

For The Editorial Team

I have a friendWho among all others

Stands out...

She just is one ofA kind...

When something isn't rightI need not speak

My friend, she canRead my muddled mind...

Out of every nonsenseShe makes perfect sense

A mystery solverA secret keeperMy friend has a

Great many attributesTo her name!

We all have a friendSuch as mine

But how many of usAcknowledge and delight

In this fact?

I write. of courseOf my Mum

The loving presenceThat brought me to

Life.

Heaven's Greatest Giving

Feisty Heroines of Literature

Destined by Friendship

Girls Present in Schools But Missing From Playgrounds

Lessons My Friends have Taught Me

Poems on Friendship

Diabetes: Bane or Boon?

Page 1

Page 2

Page 2

Page 3

Page 3

Page 4

Page 4

INDEX

She makes me smileAnd sometimes frownBut without my Mum

I'd be lostMy whole worldUpside down!

So I am mightyGrateful and gladThat I have this

One friendFor I know, she isTo me, heaven's

Greatest giving...!

F r e d e r i k a i s a r e g u l a r contributor to Femnet. Check her articles and poems in

June Issue 27, November Issue 32, Christmas Poem in

December Issue 33 New Year's Poem in

January Issue 34 April Issue 37

Jugneeta Sudan (Goa, India)

Jugneeta Sudan writes a book column for the Goan newspaper 'Navhind Times'. Her stint as a curriculum advisor to educational institutions led her to develop workshop modules on classics, fiction, non- fiction books as tools of teaching learning process. Her book readings encompass presentations, along with excerpts from relevant books.

She actively pursues a career in administration, in- depth study of English literature, books/writing forums, critiquing books and storytelling. She blogs at http://bookedandhow.blogspot.in/

Issue 41 | Page 2Visit us at femnet.goanet.org

DESTINED BY FRIENDSHIP

Brenda M. Vaz Menezes (Goa, India)

After college, I returned to Kenya. I met an architect who taught me to play tennis and it was game-set-match....made in heaven. I sent out wedding invites. When Berna got hers, her mother reminded me about what she had asked me... ”if I knew a Jos Menezes.” She then said that I was marrying him- her godchild!

My mother-in-law had chosen A. Dot to be the godmother of her eldest son, Jos and had received many objections from the family as Aunt Dot was an East Indian and no relative. My mother-in-law, stubborn in her own way, would not cower to their request and insisted all the more that her college friend would be the godmother of her eldest son.

My husband lost his dear mother when he was nine and so all contact between his godmother was severed.

Two years after our marriage, we wrote to Aunt Dot, who still lived in Nasik, about us visiting her. It was important that godchild and godmother should meet. Aunt Dot was over the moon about hosting us and our one year old daughter during our visit. She then

gave Jos a photo of himself and his Mum (sent by his mother to her) in which Jos is holding a toy car that A. Dot had posted to him for one of his birthdays. But what was more intriguing, was the fact that on the back of the photo was a Christmas note in his mother's own handwriting....Aunt Dot wisely revealed that as she was getting on in years, she would like Jos to have the photo- as it would not mean much to her children. He treasures it -the only piece of writing he has of his mother.

When our second daughter was born, we chose Aunt Dot's son, Ashley to be the godfather....to keep this link.

The mothers who were the closest of friends had daughters who became the closest of friends too, without realising the previous connection.

I feel the good Lord and Jos' mother were instrumental in getting us together....Jos married late in life and to get settled- who better than her best friend's daughter's best friend to take care of her son!

At Sophia College, I struck up an invaluable friendship with a girl from Nasik, called Berna. She recalls how straight-faced I was and felt I had no heart- until one day she saw me sobbing in the balcony. It is then that she said she knew I had a heart and feelings I was pining for a guy who I thought cared for me. This loss for me allowed me to gain a true friend. I learnt so much from Berna....how to fold my clothes and clean the room we shared. We had one of the best kept rooms in the hostel!

On one vacation, Berna invited me to Nasik - her hometown. Her dad worked for the Mint and had a sprawling bungalow and garden. I made friends easily with her siblings (ABCD)... Ashley, Brian, Cynthia and Daphne. Their mother, “Aunt Dot,” as she was affectionately called, was a jewel of a lady- so warm –hearted and giving. She got really excited when she came to learn that I lived in Mombasa, Kenya and asked if I knew a Jos Menezes. I had no clue as to whom she was referring to. This conversation came to an abrupt end!

FEISTY HEROINES OF LITERATURE

Jo March, the rebel and tomboy of 'Little Women', beseechingly asks her mother why she cannot be content to sew, cook and look after babies like her sisters. Her struggle to blend family life and responsibilities with a creative profession could be a precursor to the choices women make today.

Catherine's wildness in 'Wuthering Heights' is the rejection of her gender identity as defined by a bourgeois society. Catherine is a women's anguished voice which revolts; a haunting presence, always to remind of that which is denied to her – of what she actually wanted to be.

In Anna Karenina, the theme is one of adultery, a romance which shakes the foundation of a society steeped in hypocrisy. Anna is unforgettable for her refusal to observe the proprieties exacted in such a liaison.

If you are attracted to some people and characters, it is an indication of the fact t ha t you ha rbo r some o f t he i r characteristics and aspire to be more like them. Well, if that holds true and you admire these maverick heroines, definitely emulate some of them and live up your life!

' A l i c e i n W o n d e r l a n d '

d i rec ted by T im Burton did not bag

laurels just for the colorful portrayal of the Mad Hatter, but a complete reworking of the character of ALICE. A well mannered, soft spoken, delicate darling Alice made it to the gumption list of the contemporary heroines. She takes on the evil queen in a fight and refuses to marry the prince.

Heroines of yesteryears were about sacrifice, eternal love and duty. They were not supposed to flirt, throw a tantrum to acquire their heart's desire or eye their friend's suitor. They were supposed to camouflage their true spirit under a garb of politeness and sweetness. No doubt, women were always scheming and plotting 'cos they could never be forthright and open about themselves and their desires. Madame Bovary, Hester Prynne and Scarlet O' Hara were read with censure rather than admiration and sympathy.

'Well behaved women do not make history' said Laurel Thatcher Ulrich. Literature has created legendary heroines who in retrospect rank high on the list of FIESTY HEROINES. Female protagonists

who have stepped out of print and become our close companions and confidantes.

Shakespeare's Cleopatra has been objectified, declared a temptress, a “whore”, an enchantress who made Antony “the noble ruin of her magic.” Artists painted her with the asp applied to her breast rather than the arm where it bit her, clearly indicating that she was more an object of desire than a strong woman . Nevertheless, her charisma, strength and indomitable wil l, make her one of Shakespeare's strongest awe-inspiring female characters.

Hester Prynne in 'The Scarlet Letter' wears the scarlet letter on her bosom with gumption and lives with her daughter in the same place that ostracized her. She also never breathes out the name of the father of her child. Hester's tribulations also lead her to be stoic and a freethinker.

Elizabeth Bennet is never intimidated in 'Pride and Prejudice'. Jane Austen thought her 'as delightful a character as ever appeared in print'; a woman who is delightful for reasons other than those of beauty alone. She is characterized by wit, independence and a courageous ability to admit her mistakes.

Issue 41 | Page 3Visit us at femnet.goanet.org

Jagriti Shankar (Goa, India)

Jagriti Shankar is gender specialist based in Goa. She works towards raising awareness on the social and gender issues. She earned her postgraduate degree in Gender and Development Studies, from Asian Institute of

Technology, Thailand. Contact her at Jagriti.shankar@gmail.com.

career in future. Sexual victimization is much lower with the girls engaged in sports. Another important finding was that girls need not be outstanding performers in sports in order to gain these benefits, rather only participation and competence of any level was enough to get the benefits.

As parents we need to understand that the cost of keeping our girls out from the playgrounds is huge. We need to make a promise to ourselves that neither we will stop our girls to play sports, nor will we allow other people to do so. We will not tolerate someone telling our girls that, “sports are not meant for girls”. Rather we will discuss the benefits of playing sports with our daughters and encourage them to play an hour of active sports of their choice, everyday. As parents we have the right to ask the schools to provide proper sports facilities to our children. And as citizens and taxpayers we have the right to demand from authorities, zero discrimination, equal funding and appropriate facilities for our girls. And you never know how many more Sainas are getting ready in our homes, finding their way to come out and win the world.

“ I n d i a n women are not

encouraged to i n d u l g e i n

sports”, said Saina Nehwal India's Olympic

medalist Shuttler in a recent interview. She continued to say that changes are happening and girls excel in life, but there is a long way to go when it comes to sports. Isn't it a bitter but true fact that we do not encourage our girls to play sports? We are ready to provide them all support for academics, but when it comes to sports, we take a back step. Look at any stadium, sports fac i l i ty or even community playgrounds, either girls are totally missing from there, or very few are present.

We often hear, “sports are not meant for girls”, “girls are not good at it”, “there is no future for girls in sports”, “don't play with boys”, “it will affects your chances of marriage”, etc. It is hard to believe that these statements are being made in a time when Saina Nehwal, Sania Mirza, Mary Kom, Deepika Pallikal and many other women sports persons have made their marks in their respective sports, and have proved that they are not secondary

to any one.

I did little research on the benefits of playing active sports for girls and the information I got was amazing. So, here I am, writing from the perspective of a mother, and wanting that my daughter should get all those benefits sports has to offer.

Research carried out with high school students proves that playing sports not only h a v e h e a l t h b e n e f i t s , b u t a l s o psychological, social and professional benefits.

As per research, when girls were given more chances to participate in athletics, their weight and body mass improved. Playing any kind of sports is important for girls during puberty years as it reduces menstruation problems and stress related to it. Young women actively engaged in sports also tend to be less obese and less depressed. They also have less unwanted teen pregnancies.

Sports require mental ability to concentrate thus helps to improve school grades. Sports psychology research found that girls gain c o n f i d e n c e , s e l f - e s t e e m , a n d professionalism through participation in sport, which helps them immensely in their

GIRLS PRESENT IN SCHOOL BUT ABSENT FROM PLAYGROUND

LESSONS MY FRIENDS HAVE TAUGHT ME

Diahann-Carroll D'Souza Vaz (Goa, India)

Establish your presence in the room. Walk up to the others in the room and introduce yourself to them. Use a firm handshake. Open smile. Maintain eye contact. Remember – Be Present and create the kind of impression that YOU want to create in their minds!”

Initially I questioned the effectiveness of what she said and wondered if by doing that I would only project myself as a nuisance in the minds of others. I mean, what would people think? Would they appreciate me just walking up to them and introducing mysel f wi thout them so much as acknowledging me?

Then I thought, what was the impression that people currently had of me after meeting me just once? Strict or stern . Loud and immature. Sometimes quiet and disinterested. Non-approachable .

And I realized… none of that was really ME! I had allowed people to come to a conclusion about who I was without allowing them to really know me. And by not making that first introduction; by not Being Present I ran the risk of having to invest more time and 'CHANGE' the impression people had created of me. Problem was what if I never

met that person again?

So I decided, I was going to make a change in how I presented myself. I was going to 'Be Present' and ensure that I created the correct impression in people's minds. Initiate conversations with people, engage them in discussions and share experiences and knowledge (who knows, maybe I'd learn a thing or two in the process).

Today, I am far more confident and comfortable interacting with people. I don't doubt myself and my ability to impress people and have even managed to make connect ions wi th some interesting people along the way.

When was the last time you stepped outside YOUR comfort zone and tried to interact with others and tried to make a c o n n e c t i o n ? Te c h n o l o g y t o d a y (Whatsapp, Facebook, LinkedIn, etc.) has stunted our ability to face people and introduce ourselves without faltering.

Make the difference for yourself –

'Be Present and create the kind of impression that YOU want to create in people's minds!'

“Show up. Life is about being fully present, fully alive, and beautifully you.” – Simply Topaz

Growing up, I was always the quiet child in the room. I either had my nose buried in a book or I sat quietly and observed the people around me.

It wasn't until I met Sr. Marcilia (Principal at St. Mary's Convent High School, Goa), Ms. Lira Rocha and Ms. Raina (Teachers at St. Mary's Convent High School, Goa) that I realized the true power of my voice. They supported my participation in school competitions – debates, elocution, school events, theatre and drama. Yes, they got me to speak but I was still the shy girl who was too scared to make the first move in a crowd.

Years later, I was lucky to have met Michelle McGloughlin (my Manager and friend) at Aggreko UK in Dubai. And she was the one who unearthed the most interesting piece of advice I've received in a while. She said –

“Diahann … when you walk into a room, a training, a meeting or just a gathering; don't just enter, look around, find a seat and wait for the event to start.

Issue 41 | Page 4Visit us at femnet.goanet.org

A. Dcosta (Goa, India)

FRIENDS

Written with a pen, sealed with a kiss,

If you are my friend, please answer me this:

Are we friends, or are we not?

You told me once, but I forgot.

So tell me now, and tell me true,

So I can say I'm here for you.

Of all the friends I've ever met,

You're the one I won't forget.

And if I die before you do,

I'll go to Heaven and wait for you,

I'll give the angels back their wings

And risk the loss of everything.

There isn't a thing I wouldn't do,

To have a friend just like you!

As we pass through life, people come and go, some linger and become friends, some linger on longer and become our extended family while some have taught us valuable life lessons with their departure. As I sit down to write this, I think back to the many friends I've had and have. And I realize that words cannot express what I would like to say to them or about them. The following poems that I've come across, however, express a part of my sentiments. I leave it to you'll to decide whether you'll share the author's views or not.

A FRIEND A-B-C

Accepts you as you areBelieves in "you"

Calls you just to say "HI"Doesn't give up on you

Envisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)

Forgives your mistakesGives unconditionally

Helps youInvites you over

Just "be" with youKeeps you close at heart

Loves you for who you areMakes a difference in your life

Never JudgesOffers supportPicks you up

Quiets your fearsRaises your spirits

Says nice things about youTells you the truth when you need to

hear itUnderstands you

Values youWalks beside you

X-plain things you don't understandYells when you won't listen and

Zaps you back to reality

A COMPILATION OF POEMS ON FRIENDSHIP

DIABETES ‐ BANE OR BOON?

Geetha Shilesh (Goa, India)

Geetha is a Montessorian, working as a teacher in Keshar Academy of Learning since 1997. She holds a B.Sc. degree in Integrated Homescience from VHD college of Homescience, Bangalore and an International Diploma in the Montessori Method of education from

Association Montessori Internationale, Bangalore.

She has been teaching children with special needs with the help of Montessori materials for over a decade now. She loves to cook and has a vast collection of nutritious, vegetarian recipes.

episodes of dizziness and exhaustion bothered me and so I consulted Lifespan, the specialized diabetic clinic. The doctors there, with the help of their unique test explained very convincingly why I had those persistent issues. The nutritionist told me that my dietary choices were mostly right, fine-tuned it and helped me get rid of my fatigue and dizziness.

I would like to now share with you some of the home remedies that I have collected. One can choose one or two of these remedies and take them along with their prescribed medication.

* Fenugreek /methi seeds: Studies conducted at the National Institute of Nutrition, Hyderabad have proved the beneficial effects of these seeds. It is reported that a decoction of Fenugreek seeds reduces blood glucose levels, suppresses the urinary excretion of sugar and relieves symptoms of diabetes.

To begin with, 25gms of seeds can be taken in two equal doses of 12.5gms each (roughly 2 tsps). The seeds can be taken as such after soaking overnight in water or in powder form as a drink with water or buttermilk, 15 minutes before the meal. Alternatively, Fenugreek powder can be incorporated into preparations like chapathis, dalia, dhokla, dosa, idli, paratha, pesarttu, rawa dosa, vegetable omlette,etc.

*Seven tender neem leaves chewed

everyday lowers blood sugar levels.

*The humble ladies finger when cut and soaked in water overnight and the slimy water consumed the next morning is said to be beneficial.

Dietary guidelines:

1. Foods that can be used liberally include vegetables, green leafy vegetables, spices,and high fiber foods like millets

2. Foods to be used in moderate amounts are nuts, cereals/roots/tubers, pulses, fruits, milk products, meat products, and eggs.

3. Foods to be avoided are sugar, sweets, and honey.

In brief, diabetics should avoid sweets, use fats in limited quantities, take permitted fruits in limited amounts, take less refined cereals and pulses in right amounts, take vegetables as desired, drink lots of water and unsweetened juice, start your meals with salads, eat sma l l b u t f r e quen t mea l s a nd walk/exercise every day.

Diabetes has forced me to choose a healthier lifestyle and thereby feel good. I sincerely hope this helps to eliminate the fears associated with diabetes and helps people live a healthy life.

Reference: Diet and Diabetes by T.C Raghuram,S Pasricha &R.D Sharma

Recently, I was in for a rude shock when I was told by my physician to shake hands with diabetes as it would now be with me for life. I just could not bring myself to believe the doctor! You see, I haven't had sugar in my tea/ coffee for almost 5 years now and am pretty conscious of what I eat. It's not that I don't know what choose either, for, my training in food and nutrition has ensured that I cook nutritious and well balanced meals most of the time.

After the initial period of disbelief, anger and a fair amount of dejection, I bounced back into action and gathered as much information as I could collect on the condition. In the meanwhile, I got myself checked from another reputed laboratory and had my diagnosis confirmed. It was type-2 diabetes alright and pretty high sugar levels at that! Fasting sugar 250 and post prandial 350!!

One important thing I came to know is that, if there is a history of diabetes, that is, if one's parent is diabetic, then the test needs to be done every six months. It had been almost a year since my previous blood work and hence the shock!

It's now been a month since the diagnosis and I am glad to report that my sugar levels are pretty respectable. However I am on regular antidiabetic drugs as prescribed by my physician. Occasional