Emotional Intelligence 2012

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Motivcom Management Programme (MMPL5)

Awbery Management Centre Ltd February 2012 1

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AN INTRODUCTION

To assess behavioural ability

For each question, score yourself out of ten: 0 = lowest and 10 = highest. Assess yourself in relation

to your current role.

YOUR

SCORE

COLLEAGUE

SCORE

1. Being aware of my behaviour.

2. Being aware of the behaviour of others.

3. Being aware of the reactions of others to my behaviour.

4. Being aware of my reaction to the behaviour of others.

5. Being aware of how much I talk.6. Being brief and concise.

7. Being aware of how much I support others.

8. Always explaining my disagreements.

9. Being aware of how much I build on the ideas of others.

10. Sensing the feelings of others.

11. Being aware of how much I interrupt others.

12. Being aware of how much I really listen to others.

13. Telling others what my feelings are.

14. Being aware of what behaviour modification I need to do.

15. Knowing how to modify my behaviour.16. Being aware of how much I bring out the views of others.

17. Being positive.

18. The general level of my interpersonal skills.

TOTAL

Assessment interpretation:

Scores are subjective some people score themselves relatively high and some low, so comparisons

between people are not absolutely reliable - this assessment is a guide and not absolute. Self-

assessment is part of this; your colleagues view is equally valid. Compare your score with how

others see you and agree modification if required.


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EFFECTIVE EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENT LISTENERS

Listen non-judgmentally. Attempt to identify the underlying

feelings.

It sounds like you felt disappointedHow did you feel when

Listen with empathy; focus on feelings. Show understanding and connection.

Iunderstand.

I see.

I know how you feel.I have felt that way, too.

Clarify and paraphrase, particularly thefeelings.So, you really felt insulted, is that it?So you felt _____ and ______?

Do not judge with your body language orfacial expressions.

Help the person focus while showinginterest:

What bothered you most about it?What did you like the most?

Dont show disapproval. Dont spend your time preparing your

response.

Dont interrupt, evaluate or jump toconclusions.

Use eye contact. Show interest by nodding, uh huhs, etc. Allow long pauses before asking questions;

be patient.

Give your full attention; stop other tasks. Avoid Scene stealing, Advising,

Interrogating. Sending solutions,

Correcting, Debating.


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TOP TEN SUGGESTIONS EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

1. Label your feelings, rather than

labeling people or situations.

I feel impatient. vs. This is ridiculous.

I feel hurt and bitter. vs. You are an insensitive jerk.

I feel afraid. vs. You are drivinglike an idiot.

2. Distinguish between thoughts and

feelings.

Thoughts: I feel like and I feel as if. and I feel that.

Feelings: I feel (feeling word)

3. Take more responsibility for your

feelings.I feel jealous. vs. You are making me jealous.

4. Use your feelings to help them

make decisions.How will I feel if I do this? How will I feel if I dont?

5. Show respect for other peoples

feelings.Ask, How will you feel if I do this? How will you feel if I dont?

6. Feel energized, not angry.Use what others call anger to help feel energized to take

productive action.

7. Validate other peoples feelings.Show empathy, understanding, and acceptance of other peoples

feelings.

8. Practice getting a positive value

from their/your emotions.

Ask yourself: How do I feel? and What would help me feel

better?

Ask others How do you feel? and What would help you feel

better?

9. Dont advise, command, control,

criticize, judge or lecture to others.Instead, try to just listen with empathy and non-judgment.

10. Avoid people who invalidate you.While this is not always possible, at least try to spend less time

with them. Dont give them psychological power over you.

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Emotional Intelligence 2012