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www.eastside-online.org John Valore Coach Teacher Mentor ...Legend chool East: 1750 Kresson Road, Cherry Hill, NJ 08003 December 2010 Photo by Mia Holley (‘12)/ Eastside Photo Editor

Eastside: December 2010

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December issue of Eastside, the award-winning newspaper of Cherry Hill High School East. (Note: this was re-uploaded to fix the middle pages.)

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Page 1: Eastside: December 2010

www.eastside-online.org

JohnValore

Coach

Teacher

Mentor

...Legend

chool East: 1750 Kresson Road, Cherry Hill, NJ 08003 December 2010

Photo by Mia Holley (‘12)/ Eastside Photo Editor

Page 2: Eastside: December 2010

The Koreans are family-oriented people, and thus, celebratethe first day of the lunar calendar together with family and friends.

Korean families begin the New Year by showing respect to parentsand older relatives by bowing before them. The act of bowing wishes

elders good luck for the upcoming New Year.Together, families take time to remember and pay their respects to

deceased relatives. Traditional foods are prepared in observing the holiday.A common dish is known as Dukgook, sliced rice cake soup. Koreans playtraditional games as well, like Yutnori.

The Korean New Year is celebrated on the first day of the lunarcalendar. The first day of the lunar year occurs on the day of the sec-ond new moon, this year on February 3. The first day of the lunar

calendar is celebrated by various other Asian cultures.The Korean Culture Club plans on co-hosting the Lunar

Banquet here at school in January or February with otherculture clubs including the Chinese Culture Club. The

banquet will be open to anyone (students and staff)of any culture.

NEWS/FEATURESPage 2 EASTSIDE December 2010

One ofthe maint a l k i n gpoints atr e c e n tBoard ofEducationmeetingshas beenthe transi-tion tot h es t a g e

of the year duringwhich the budgetfor the 2011-2012will be drafted forthe April vote.

The processfor this yearwill mirror thatof last year interms of tim-ing and thec o m m u n i t ygroups con-sulted. How-ever, the Strat-egic PlanningCommittee, anew addition tothe Board, hasbeen evaluatingspecific ways toachieve long-termgoals for the districteven while faced withsome of the restrictedamounts of state aidCherry Hill Public Schoolsreceive.

The process for select-ing a new superintendentis in full swing as well.Representatives from thestate and district haveheld meetings with ap-proximately 250 commu-nity stakeholders to enu-merate qualities mostdesired in a leader of thissort and to get feedbackregarding the perform-ance of the current super-intendent. One such focusgroup was held in theauditorium with East stu-dents.

Applicants submitted aformal letter of intent toapply for the position, andnow the actual applica-tions are in the process ofbeing completed.

The Board is also urg-ing that all athletes andother participants in Eastextracurriculars pay thestudent activity fee. Thusfar the majority of stu-dents at East and Westhave done so, but the per-centage is far from thecomplete student body.Should a student not pay,his or her ability to partic-ipate in major class andschool activities like classdances and trips will berestricted.

The Board, as startedwith the November 24meeting, will be streamingmeetings online. This is agood opportunity to hearBoard and public feed-back regarding import-ant district issues andwill probably becomeeven more useful as thebudget process is under-way, as those meetingsdraw huge crowds andoften make local and statenews. Please checkchclc.org for streaminginformation.

JonathanSilverstone

(‘11)Board of

EducationRepresentative

Chinese Culture Club (CCC) members are ebullient becauseFebruary is fast approaching. Every year, the Chinese New Year

falls between January 21 and February 2 and generally lasts for 15days. The date changes each year because the Chinese calendar isbased on the lunar calendar.

To celebrate the occasion, the club will gather together and cele-brate at someone’s house with Potluck. Potluck is when each member ofthe club brings or makes a dish and contributes the dish to a meal every-one will have together.

CCC introduces a new holiday and tradition to those who have neverbefore celebrated the Chinese New Year. In Chinese culture, a zodiac system,a sequence of events that repeats itself, is used to create the calendar. As aNew Year approaches, one of twelve animals is assigned to that year. If it isthe year of one’s zodiac, one’s birth year, the person will have good luck. The2011 Chinese New Year begins February 3, and it will be the year of theRabbit. So, those who were born in 1915, 1927, 1939, 1951, 1963, 1975,1987, 1999 or 2011 will have good luck.

The night before Chinese New Year, families gather together andhave a big dinner to celebrate the oncoming of the holiday.

Chinese New Year—also known as Spring Festival—is adoredby children because of the little red paper envelopes. The

envelopes contain money from elders, such as parents,aunts and uncles. In preparation for the holiday, fami-

lies clean the house as a way of removing any badluck and prepare for the incoming of happi-

ness, fortune and good luck.

Yearof the Rabbit

brings good luck■ By Sophia Wang (‘13)

For Eastside

The Indian Culture Club celebrates the Indian NewYear. The Indian New Year is often called The Festival of

Lights or Diwali. It is a period of five days occurringaround late October and early November that preludesthe Indian New Year marked on the Indian Calendar.Because India abides by a different calendar system,there is not a predictable day on the American cal-endar for Diwali.

During these five days, many rituals are per-formed for health, wealth and prosperity for theupcoming year. In India, families set off fireworksevery day during the holiday. However, in NewJersey, we light small fires out of cotton and oil.

On the sixth day, which is the actual NewYear, we go to relatives’ houses and wish themSal Mubarak, which means “Happy NewYear.” The elders usually give money to theyounger people as a token for the upcom-ing year. To end the celebration, all go to

a temple at night and offer all hand-crafted sweets to the Gods and chant

several prayers besidefriends and family.

IndianCulture Society

celebrates Diwali■ By Jiten Mistry (‘11)

For Eastside

The Jewish New Year, called Rosh Hashanah (which means “headof the year”) took place in early September this year. Since it is deter-mined by its date on the lunar calendar, it has a different date on the365-day calendar every year. On the lunar calendar, it takes place on thefirst and second of the month Tishrei. This year, it began this past Septem-ber 8 with the ceremonial blowing of the shofar, a ram’s horn that producesa sound similar to a trumpet. The sound is supposed to be a call to repen-tance.

Similar to the American New Year, the Jewish New Year is a time tobegin looking back at the mistakes of the past year and planning thechanges to make the new year successful. A popular tradition is eatingapples and honey to bring in a sweet new year.

To celebrate, many people usually host dinners, eat sweet foods andspend time with the people they love.

Even though Rosh Hashanah has passed and the new year isalready in full swing, the Jewish Culture Club will celebrate the

American New Year by having a pizza party to talk about NewYears’ resolutions and making promises to do good things.

The club will also start to discuss doing acommunity service project, possibly donating

canned goods and gently used clothling, orhelping underprivileged children.

RoshHashanah bringsin the new year

■ By Ezra Nathan (‘11)For Eastside

As the American New Year approaches, culture clubmembers share their cultural new year traditions and

their clubs’ plans to celebrate.

New Year’s is celebrated in the Philippines on the same dayas it is in the U.S. Many Filipinos spend New Year’s at a“Filipino Party” with close Filipino families and friends.Traditional food from the Philippines is served, such as lechon(roasted pig) and pancit (very thin fried rice noodles). The thinnoodles represent a long life.

For good luck, three different bowls are set on the table thatcontain cotton balls, rice and sugar. Twelve circular fruits areusually set on the table to represent the twelve months of theupcoming year.

Fireworks are really big in the Philippines because anyonecan use them. They are said to drive bad spirits and bad

luck away; the louder they are, the better.A major part of Filipino celebrations is prayer, so

before eating, the food is blessed by a respectedperson of the community. As a club, the Filipino

Culture Society plans to celebrate in thisway together for the first time since

the club was officially cre-ated last year.

Filipinos celebratewith fireworks and feasts

Visit eastside-online.org tofind out what the otherCherry Hill East culture

clubs have planned to bringin a new year!

■ By Gaby Rochino (‘12)For Eastside

All art by Kevin Cook (‘11)/ Eastside Art Director

■ By Oruny Choi (‘11)For Eastside

Koreans to host Lunar Banquet

Page 3: Eastside: December 2010

NEWS/FEATURESDecember 2010 EASTSIDE Page 3

Class presidents answer:What is your SGA New

Year’s Resolution?

The Classof 2014’sN e wY e a r ’ sResolutioni n v o l v e sincreasingour partic-i p a t i o n .

Most freshmen areunaware of many oppor-tunities and afraid toparticipate in fun activi-ties like Spirit Week. Ihope to change this in myfuture at East. We will bestriving for more partici-pation from everyone inour class.

My NewYear’s Res-olution forSGA andthe Classof 2013 isto create afundraiserfor boththe Classof 2013

and for a charity. It isimportant to raise moneythis year for our class, asin the upcoming years wehave to produce both thejunior prom and the sen-ior prom. Starting afundraiser during thisschool year will facilitateSGA’s ability to plan twospectacular and unfor-gettable proms. Addi-tionally, I want to start2011 off on the right footby helping out the lessfortunate.

My SGAN e wY e a r ’ sR e s o l u -tion is tohave newclass ap-parel outfor thenew year.

We have some great-looking apparel in theworks and I, personally,am really excited for it.Class unity is also a goalof ours, so class apparelwill hopefully bring theClass of 2012 togetherfor success in the upcom-ing year.

It is sad tosay thatwhen 2011r o l l saround, itwill be thelast fewm o n t h sthe Class

of 2011 graces East’shallways. So, my SGANew Year’s Resolution:make it a party. I’m talk-ing strobe lights, glowsticks, music so loud itmakes ears bleed–andobviously refreshments.Where will all of thistake place? In the heartof every member of theclass of 2011…or prom.Hopefully both. Or may-be we can get a ravegoing during school oneday. I’ll see what I can do.

Not your typical Mason

RossPeterzell (‘14)

GregWeinstock

(‘13)

MichaelBerkowitz

(‘12)

Seth Levy(‘11)

It’s a plane: East students take to the sky

As high school students,many freshmen and sopho-mores eagerly await the

day they receive theirlearner’s permits andbegin driving, as juniorsand seniors find gettingtheir licenses thrilling.However, for a few stu-

dents, driving on landseems like no major mile-stone because they canalready fly in the sky.

Dan Peltzman (‘13),Brendon Rush (‘12) and

Nick Birbilis(‘11) are three ofEast’s pilots.

Peltzman hasbeen flyingplanes for overtwo years andbegan beforeeven entering adriver’s educa-tion class. Hecurrently flieswith the FlyingW Airport inMedford, NJ,where he istraining for alicense in aCessna 172SPtraining air-craft.

Even thoughflying in the airis much moreopen than driv-ing down a high-way, flying hasits own difficul-ties.

“It’s trickybecause if yousee another[plane], youhave to takeextreme cau-tion,” said Peltz-man. “You alsohave to thinkabout how highyou are.”

Peltzman saidhe wants flyingto be a part ofhis career andwould like tojoin the AirForce.

Rush has

been flying planes since hewas only twelve years old,with the help of his fatherwho has been a pilot forover forty years. Rush fliesa Piper J-3 Cub—an air-craft made in the late1930s to 1940s that wasoriginally used for WorldWar II reenactments.

As a driver, Rush alsosaid that the best part offlying is “the 3D feeling—you can go up and downinstead of just to the sides,like a car,” he said.

Although Rush has nointention of making flyinghis career, he does hope tomake it a big part of hislife as a hobby.

Interested in flying at ayounger age than Peltz-man and Rush, Birbilisknew that he wanted to flysince he was little. Hisfather—also a pilot–encouraged him to fly.Birbilis currently holds animportant leadership posi-tion as the CadetCommander of the CivilAir Patrol’s Jack Schweik-er Composite Squadron.

Birbilis said that themain difference betweendriving and flying is inthe driver’s or pilot’sresponse.

“You can’t stop and pullover when you’re con-fused,” he said.

Like Peltzman, Birbilishopes to join either the AirForce or the Navy, a deci-sion he has made in highschool.

As most East studentscontinue to succeed onland, Peltzman, Rush andBirbilis will find their ownsuccess in the sky, as theyfly their way to futureendeavors.

■ By Hailey Edelstein (‘12)Eastside News/Features Editor

Not James Mason; not aFreemason;not analumnus ofG e o r g eM a s o nUniversity.Her nameis Ms.Christ ineMason, as t a p l emember of

the Social Studies Department afterten years of teaching at East.

She has taught World Civiliza-tions, U.S. History II (all levels) andAP U.S. Government & Politicsthroughout her experience at East.This year, she teaches U.S. IIA andAP Gov.

After receiving her undergraduatedegree in History Education fromTemple University and her graduatedegree in Education from La SalleUniversity, Mason student-taught atGeorge Washington High School inPhiladelphia.

In high school, Mason describedherself as “the studious jock,” adescription that has held up in hercareer thus far at East, as demon-strated in her teaching methods andinterests outside the classroom.

Her goal in the classroom is “toinspire a love for learning [and to]also have fun while learning,” shesaid.

Mason believes that “life can bepretty challenging and if you don’thave something to look forward to,it’s unbearable,” she said.

She added, “I had a professor oncewho said, ‘find something you love todo and find some fool to pay you todo it.’ And that’s what I did.”

As a teacher, Mason strives to“connect with students completely”by cultivating lasting relationshipswith students beyond graduation,she said.

“I love it when students contactme after graduation [with somethingthey have] connected to my class.That’s what makes me realize I[made] the right career choice.That makes it all worthwhile,” shesaid.

Her “inherent interest” in politicalscience has led to her teaching theAP Gov class—a job that includes T-shirts, a trip to Washington D.C. toexperience “the visual aspect to whatwe were learning in class,” and aFacebook page, which serves as “afurther extension of classroom dis-cussion,” she said.

“Given the political climate, it’swonderful to see kids involved and Ireally feel she’s bringing awarenessto something important for [the stu-dents],” said Mrs. Anne McCaffery, afriend Mason described as her “BFF.”

Students appreciate Mason’sclassroom impact.

“I’m not a political person at all,but she definitely influenced me tobecome more well-rounded on poli-tics,” said Hannah Westover (‘11),

who had Mason for US IIA last yearand for AP Gov this year.

Outside the classroom, Mason’smain hobby is running; she runsalmost every day. She has participat-ed in 5Ks, the Broad Street Run andthe Philadelphia Half Marathon. Sheeven occasionally runs with East’sgirls’ cross-country team duringpractices and attends their meets.

“Running has become an importantpersonal goal for myself. I constantlywant to improve upon [myself] andachieve [more],” Mason said.

This dedication and drive impactsher classroom performance throughher passion for teaching. Mr. TomRosenberg, a fellow history teacher,said Mason’s dedication “makes heran exceptional teacher.”

Mrs. Meghan Mikulski, anothermember of the History Department,recognizes Mason as “one of the fewpeople [able to] get in touch andthrough to a certain student. Shehas that ability to make connectionswith students.”

Overall, Mason’s emphasis on con-necting her classes’ subject matterwith her students demonstrates herimpact on the East community.

“Personal setbacks have causedme to try to understand the obsta-cles that students face,” said Mason.“I understand that process of learn-ing and that you can learn fromthings and move on, and I hope ithelps them to achieve their own per-sonal goals.”

Avra Bossov (‘11)/ EastsideEditor-in-Chief

Mason tells a story toher AP Gov students.

Flag art by Danielle Hu (‘11)/Eastside Art Director

■ By Avra Bossov (‘11)Eastside Editor-in-Chief

Email your answer to [email protected] by 12/25/2010Please include your name, mailing address and phone number. Entry information will only beused for prize fulfillment contact. This month’s winner will receive a $50 gift certificate toStarbucks and other assorted Tutoring Club goodies. Winner will be selected randomly fromentries with the correct answer and contacted via email by December 23, 2010. Winner mustcome to Tutoring Club by January 7, 2011 to receive prize.

Page 4: Eastside: December 2010

NEWS/FEATURESPage 4 EASTSIDE December 2010

If you are looking for help in aspecific subject area or need to dowell on a future test, ask membersof East’s Cum Laude Society forguidance.

Cum Laude Society is an organ-ization made of various chaptersacross the nation that inducts stu-dents in the top five to fifteen per-cent of their senior class. East’ssociety is considered to be an“active” chapter, because it offerssomething to other students—free

tutoring. CumLaude mem-

bers tutorbecause it ispart of the

honor of theirtitle and a way

to give

back to the school community.Two types of tutoring are avail-

able—in one, members offer gener-al help to assist with homework orstudying after school on Tuesdays,Wednesdaysand Thurs-days in thelibrary. OnTuesdays andThursdays inthe Math Lab,members offermath help.Students canget generalhelp by sim-ply coming toeither locationon the respec-tive day.

The secondtype is a one-on-one sys-tem. Advisorswill assignanyone inter-ested a tutor,but it is thestudent’s jobto decide withthe tutorwhen andwhere tom e e t .Students canget a personaltutor by pick-ing up a form inthe GuidanceOffice or bye-mailing one of the Cum Laudeadvisors: Mrs. Jennifer Greenwaldor Mrs. Meghan Mikulski.

Advisors, tutors and studentsagree that Cum Laude tutoring is agreat resource.

Greenwaldsaid, “I think itis a good toolbecause stu-dents benefitfrom gettingextra helpfrom students

who already took those classes.”Mikulski said being tutored by

Cum Laude members allows stu-dents to gain a different perspec-tive on the material.

“I think that identity with peersis a very powerful element,” she said.

When tutoring, each tutor triesto relate to the students while alsousing various techniques toexplain the information.

“I try to think back to what con-fused me when I was in theirshoes,” said Anisha Sehgal (‘11),vice president of Cum Laude. “Itfeels really great when it finallyclicks after an hour of tutoring.”

Allison King (‘11), a smallerlearning vice president, said that

another technique she uses to helpstudents understand the materialis prompting the student withquestions to lead them in the rightdirection without giving them the

answer.“They give you one-on-one atten-

tion,” said Lauren Herman (‘14),who has attended Cum Laudetutoring sessions. “You can ask asmany questions as you want andthey will answer them and evenexplain them to you.”

When tutors explain materialand offer extra help in this set-ting, students have the opportunityto learn in a way that is both freeand available in their very ownschool library.

Cum Laude members offer free tutoring after school ■ By Kaylin Magosin (‘14)

For Eastside

According to a recentsurvey, every day, over 74percent of 17-year-oldCherry Hill East driversare breaking the law.

New Jersey legislationpassed Kyleigh’s Law atthe beginning of 2010 andit took effect on May 1,2010.

The new law’s restric-tions for provisional andprobationary drivers con-sist of four main points: alldrivers must place a reddecal on the front andback license plate when-ever the vehicle is drivenby a provisional or proba-tionary license driver;drivers cannot drivebetween 11:01 p.m. and5:00 a.m.; only one otherperson may be present inthe car (including familymembers) when drivingwithout a parent orguardian; and drivers maynot use any handhelddevices while driving.

However, for a law thatshould potentially have alarge effect on teen driv-ers, the details ofKyleigh’s Law are widelyunknown. Only 33 percentof the one hundred 17-year-old drivers surveyedare completely familiarwith Kyleigh’s Law, whileonly 38 percent know why

the law was enacted. Thelaw is named after a teengirl named KyleighD’Alessio, who died in anunderage driving acci-dent. After heavy peti-tioning by her parents, thelaw was passed. However,the new restrictionsmeant to make the roadsafer are only followed by40 percent of Cherry HillEast 17-year-old driverspolled.

The rules concerningthe decal and extra peoplein the car are the mostviolated laws, with 74 per-cent and 73 percent ofEast teens not followingeach law, respectively.

Along with the fact that93 percent of teens strong-ly disagree with the law,many students noted sev-eral reasons as to whythey should not follow it.Some teens brought upthe fact that with the newlaw, there is much lesscarpooling and far moregas emissions releasedinto the atmosphere.

Several drivers alsofind it extremely incon-venient that they cannotdrive their own siblingsanymore.

One driver, Dan Des-rochers (‘11), pointed outthat the new law hasmade his “curfew [in] sen-ior year earlier than [hiscurfew] freshman year.”

We asked...

Stephen Bell(‘12)

JoshWarren (‘13)

Mrs.Dorety

Mr.Rosenberg

When areyou the

happiest?

Playing X-box with

my boyRosey

Playingbasketball Snow

days

When I’mhangingout with

mydog

For the holidays,I want...

My boyRosey[Adam

Rosenthal(‘12)]

A SethLevy rug

A flatscreen

T.V.A romantic

eveningwith Mr.Howard

Who doyou trustthe most?

My boyRosey

Mrs.Dorety

ChrisSanto

Mr. Howard

■ By Jheri Grossman (‘11)Eastside Staff

Kyleigh’s law:laudable or laughable?

Mia Holley (‘12)/ Eastside Photo EditorA student receives math help at Cum Laude tutoring after school in the library.

Kirkland An (‘13)/ Eastside Staff

Danielle Hu (‘11)/ Eastside Art Director

Page 5: Eastside: December 2010

NEWS/FEATURESDecember 2010 EASTSIDE Page 5

Booth JudgingContest

1. Juniors2. Seniors3. Sophomores4. Freshmen

Overall1. Seniors (4,015 pts)2. Juniors (3,540 pts)3. Sophomores (2,620 pts)4. Freshmen (2,075 pts)Dress-up Day Winners

College Apparel Thursday:Seniors

Formal Friday: Juniors

Rockstar Monday: Juniors

Theme-day Tuesday: Juniors

School Spirit Wednesday:Juniors

Crab Soccer

Tug-of-WarGirls Boys

1. Seniors 1. Seniors2. Freshmen 2. Juniors3. Juniors 3. Freshmen4. Sophomores 4. Sophomores

Volleyball Girls Boys

1. Sophomores 1. Seniors2. Freshmen 2. Juniors3. Seniors 3. Sophomores4. Juniors 4. Freshmen

HomecomingDance

Attendance1. Seniors2. Juniors3. Sophomores4. Freshmen

Dance Competition1. Seniors2. Juniors3. Sophomores4. Freshmen

1. Seniors 2. Sophomores3. Juniors 4. Freshmen

Lunch Games (Overall)1. Seniors 2. Juniors3. Sophomores 4. Freshmen

Video1. Seniors2. Sophomores3. Juniors4. Freshmen

Banner1. Seniors2. Juniors3. Freshmen4. Sophomores

For detailedcoverage,check outeastside-

online.org

Donations1. Juniors 2. Seniors3. Freshmen 4. Sophomores

Headline by Kevin Cook(‘11)/ Eastside Art Director

Page 6: Eastside: December 2010

The heat is on and theknives are out in SouthJersey kitchens.

Six months ago, SouthJersey’s Top Chef competi-tion began with 15 deter-mined chefs all compet-ing for thetitle ofS o u t hJersey’sTop Chef.E v e r ymonth thechefs were pre-sented with dif-ferent challengesand were forced totest their cookingabilities. After eachchallenge was present-ed, people were able tovote online for theirfavorite contestant. Nowonly two contestantsremain.

Chef Jack Connor fromCafe Madison and ChefMark Berenato are thefinalists who will battlein the finals to see whowins the title of theregion’s culinary king.The final challenge was forthe chefs to create theirown signature three-course holiday meals. Theirdishes were available attheir restaurants through-

out the month ofNovember. Chef Connor’sdish featured tri-color pep-per-crusted day-boat scal-lops as the appe-tizer, holiday-m i x e d

grillas the

m a i nc o u r s e

and Hunter’sFarm apple

galette as thedessert. Chef

Berenato’s dishfeatured home-

made chestnutgnocchi as the

appetizer, grilledveal porterhouse asthe main course and

pumpkin panna-cotta as thedessert.

Residents ofSouth Jersey

were able to votefor their favoritechef after view-ing or even tast-ing the chefs’

recipes. The winner of theSouth Jersey Chef of 2010will be chosen at the end ofDecember and will be pro-filed in the December issueof South Jersey Magazine.

On October 30, theCherry Hill TownshipCouncil agreed to a con-tract with Red Flex TrafficSystems to install a red-light camera at one ofCherry Hill’s busiest inter-sections: Route 70 andSpringdale Road.

According to the CherryHill Police Department(CHPD), in eight monthsover 75 accidents havebeen reported onSpringdale Road and 300accidents on a large sectionof Route 70 in Cherry Hill.The intersection is crossedby close to 80,000 vehiclesevery day.

Installation has alreadybegun and upon comple-tion, the CHPD plans onraising public awareness ofthe camera with a one-month test period; howev-er, as soon as the test peri-od ends, any vehicle caughtviolating the law will befined 85 dollars.

Red Flex, the largestroad-camera company inthe Unites States, willmonitor the intersectionwith the new cameras. TheRed Flex camera usesmany different vehicledetection methods, has pic-ture and video capabilitiesand transfers an intersec-tion’s vehicle/incident dataonline.

The camera is supposed

to make drivers more cau-tious on the road andreduce accidents in CherryHill. It will also provide anew way for police to easilyspot vehicles runningthrough red lights evenwhen not suffering theconsequences of a collision.

The New Jersey Depart-ment of Transportationhas been using traffic cam-eras throughout thestate—even in Cherry

Hill—to monitor the flow oftraffic and quickly spotemergencies; however,these cameras have neverbeen used by the CHPD todetect and fine those whoviolate traffic rules.

As Cherry Hill beginsusing its first red-lightcamera, the CHPD hopes itwill decrease accidentsand enforce road lawsdesigned to ensure publicsafety.

COMMUNITYPage 6 EASTSIDE December 2010

Hannah Luk (‘12)/ Eastside StaffRedlight camera catches a traffic violator.

New red light cameras tocapture traffic violations

South Jersey’s top chefs bring the heat

As winter break approaches, East students look for warmand cozy local spots to escape the cold. Eastside’sCommunity section editors have the best places to staywarm while the weather outside is frightful.

Best hot chocolate: Hot choco-late afficionados look for a creamy,sweet but subtle, and most impor-tantly chocolatey draught, to warmtheir frost-chilled bellies. The hotcocoa at Naked Chocolate Caféhas the richest, chocolatey-est fla-vor and with its generous dollop offresh whipped cream and chocolateshavings, it is a real dreamy brew.Also try: Café con Chocolate’smexican chili-spiced hot cocoa;Café Flora.

Best soup: Nothing melts awaywinter blues like a steaming cupof soup, a comfortingly brothyreminder of elementaryschool sick-days. Rather thanthe chicken noodle standard,though, try a bowl of PhoEden’s delicious Vietnameseclassic. This flavorful, aromaticnoodle soup is sure to pleaseeven those reared on Camp-bell’s.

Also try: The Short Hills Deli’s matzah ball soup.

Best coffee spot: Students have long flocked to coffeehouses for their homey atmos-phere and the added plus of freewi-fi. In the winter months, ahot cup of joe or any of its cre-ative derivations is just theanswer to the blustery weather.Coffeeworks is one of the cozi-est meeting and eating spots inthe area, and has regular liveperformances for a treat toaccompany your biscotti.Also try: Jersey Java and Tea.

■ By Hailey Edelstein (‘12)Eastside News/Features Editor

■ By Alana Kopelson (‘12)Eastside Community Editor

Courtney Ma(‘13)/ For Eastside

Logo by Danielle Hu (‘11)/ Eastside Art Director

Courtesy of yelp.com

Courtesy of nakedchoco-latecafe.com

East students share recipesEast students share recipesLike their professional counterparts, East‘s aspiring chefs heat up the competition in the

kitchen. These two East students think they’ve got what it takes to be East’s top chef.Their challenge was to bake the most delicious holiday treats. Go to www.eastside-

online.org/community to read the directions on how to bake these snacks and vote foryour favorite!

Mike Yashaya (‘13)

Lily Campbell (‘12)

His recipe: S’more BrowniesIngredients:1/4 cup butter 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips2 1/2 cups crushed graham crackers 2 cups miniature marshmallows 1 (14-ounce) can sweetened condensed milk1 teaspoon vanilla extract 1 cup milk chocolate chips

Her recipe: Peanut ButterBlossom Cookies

Ingredients:1/2 cup sugar1/2 cup brown sugar1/2 cup softened butter1/2 cup peanut butter1 egg1 teaspoon vanilla extract1/4 teaspoon salt1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour1 teaspoon baking soda1/4 cup sugar (for rolling cookies in)48 milk chocolate candy kisses (unwrapped)

Campbell loves making thesePeanut Butter Blossom Cookieswith her grandmother during theholiday season.

Yashaya likes to add taste to theclassic brownie by adding marsh-mallows and graham crackers.

Courtesy of greenoptions.com

Photos by Hailey Edelstein (‘12) and Rebecca Ohnona (‘12)/Eastside News/Features Editor and Eastside Entertainment Editor

Page 7: Eastside: December 2010

One Bookunites city

Dublin Square, an Irishpub and restaurant inBordentown, is soonadding a new location inCherry Hill. The DublinSquare is set to open in theshopping center in ShortHills on the former site ofSwanky Bubbles and TheOlive.

The new restaurant,which is going to be anIrish pub, will feature clas-sic pub food such as burg-ers, sandwiches and ribs,as well as “traditional Irishfayre,” the website notes.

According to the menuposted on the restaurant’swebsite, Dublin Squareserves corned beef and cab-bage, sheppard’s pie and avariety of boxtys, which areIrish potato pancakesstuffed with meat or veg-etables. The restaurantitself will be similar to PJWhelihan’s, with manylarge television screens forsports, as well as a bar toaccompany the restaurant.

Dublin Square will alsooffer an Irish brunch onthe weekends.

The building itself wasoriginally the home of TheOlive restaurant, whichopened in 1999. In late2006, The Olive closed, andwas replaced in 2007 bySwanky Bubbles, anupscale bar and restau-rant, which was open untillast May.

When it opens as DublinSquare, the restaurant isgoing to have an interiorwith authentic materialsfrom Ireland, and is expect-ed to seat about 200 guests.

According to ownerMike McGeough in aninterview with the Courier-Post, the concept of the gas-tropub restaurant is

“somewhere between P.J.Whelihan’s and RedstoneGrill.” The original DublinSquare in Bordentown,which opened in June of2009, has received goodreviews online.

Though it is too soon tojudge its lasting ability,hopefully the luck of theIrish will preserve it.

COMMUNITYDecember 2010 EASTSIDE Page 7

Dating back to 1894,the Free Library of Phila-delphia was founded as alibrary for all. Due toyears of success, thelibrary currently has 54branches, one of whichincludes One Book, OnePhiladelphia.

One Book, One Phila-delphia was created in2002 to promote reading,literacy, library use andcommunity building byencouraging people toread one book and dis-cuss it in groups.

This year, the commit-tee has chosen WarDances by ShermanAlexie, a Native Amer-ican writer, as its recom-mended read. The book isa collection of short stor-ies and poems examininghuman relationships.

The reading will beginon January 19, 2011, andwill run until March 17,2011.

Supplementary booksare offered for non-advanced readers. TheAbsolutely True Diary ofa Part-Time Indian bySherman Alexie and TheGood Luck Cat by JoyHarjo have also been cho-sen for this year.

For more informationabout the books andother events, visitwww.freelibrary.org.

The distinguished jingle ofthe ice-cream truck has per-manently imprinted itself intothe heads and hearts of almostevery American.Recently, though,a new kind ofsweet-treat truckhas created itsown melody: theraving buzz oflocal fans.

Kate Carrara,34, brought thecupcake craze, lit-erally, to thestreets of Phila-delphia when sheopened her cup-cake truck a littleover a year ago. Aformer lawyer,Carrara tradedthe business attire andbriefcase for an old 1988mail truck and lots ofsprinkles.

When she opened her bakingbusiness called Buttercream,Carrara gained the moniker“The Cupcake Lady” as well aslocal celebrity status for herfrosted delicacies. The “freshconfections made with love,”

as Carrara describes them onher website, are baked at acatering kitchen in NorthernLiberties and then packed intoher truck for delivery everyday.

The cupcakes, which come inflavors fromvanilla ganacheto red velvetcream cheese,are sold foronly two dollarsand have be-come a dailyi n d u l g e n c efor those wit

a craving forsweet delights.

Throughoutthe day, thecupcake truckvisits differentstops aroundthe city andlets fans know

where it can be found on itsvery own Twitter page, which isfollowed religiously by big-timecupcake fans.

Carrara has successfullyrevolutionized the mobile trucksnack scene with what beganas a dream, and this year, ascupcakes continue to grow inpopularity, so too will her busi-ness.

New gastropub brings Irish fare to town

Philly cupcake ladydelivers sweet treats

■ By Carly Zive (‘12)Eastside Staff

■ By Sarah Minion (‘12)Eastside Underground Editor

■ By Bryan Sheehan (‘13)Eastside Editorial Assistant

Emily Kelly (‘12)/ For EastsideDublin Square’s new sign is displayed outside of theShort Hills development.

DublinSquare

482 East EveshamRoad

Cherry Hill, NJ

From the menu:

Appetizer:Dublin Square SausageRollsGround Irish sausagesautéed with onions andfresh herbs, wrapped in apuff pastry and bakeduntil golden brown.

Salad:Dublin Square HouseSaladFresh chopped romainewith cucumber, tomato,bacon, onions and crou-tons, with your choice ofdressing.

Entree:Stuffed Chicken Two chicken breastsstuffed with prosciutto,mozzarella and spinach,pan seared, then finishedin the oven. Served overmashed potato andgrilled asparagus.

Traditional IrishFayre:Vegeterian BoxtyChopped carrots, summersquash and spinach in aboxty shell with a lightlemon cream sauce.

Courtesy of philly.comCupcake lady, Kate Car-rara, peers out of hertruck.

Border by Danielle Hu (‘11)/ Eastside Art Director

Page 8: Eastside: December 2010

Twice a year, Cherry Hill High SchoolEast hosts a blood drive. Once in the falland once in the spring, students and mem-bers of the community are provided withthe opportunity to save three lives bydonating one pint of blood. Despite the fearthat comes with this task, many peopleattend and donate with the charitablecause in mind. Due to the generosity of theEast community and the hard work demon-strated by the East Blood Drive chairpeo-ple, the event continues to show more sup-port for the American Red Cross and for therecipients of these donations.

In the recent fall blood drive, held onNovember 9 and 10, over 275 participantsdonated blood, which is the highest single-drive total by Cherry Hill East. Studentsand faculty had appointments throughout

the school day, while the drive remainedopen in the evening for members of theCherry Hill community to participate. Over900 lives were saved with the abundance inblood donations at the recent drive.

East was among many other South Jerseyhigh schools to participate in such a givingact. For example, Lenape High School’sstudent council blood drive collected 120pints, Seneca High School’s student councilcollected 130 pints from their senior class,Camden Catholic High School’s blood driveincluded about 186 donors and Easterncollected 139 pints from its spring blooddrive.

The results from Cherry Hill East’s bi-annual blood drive show the passion andkind-heartedness that the East communityputs forth in order to save lives.

EDITORIALPage 8 EASTSIDE December 2010

2010-2011 EASTSIDE EDITORIAL BOARD

Editorials represent the views and opinions of the Eastside Editorial Board.

Managing Editor: Sally Yang Editors-in-Chief: Avra Bossov, Julie Coben, Laura Kane

News/Features EditorsJuliet Brooks Hailey EdelsteinGabrielle Kains

Sports EditorsMax CohenDillon Rosenblatt

Community EditorsHannah FeinbergAlana Kopelson

Opinions EditorsLindsey DuBoffSherin Nassar

Entertainment EditorsDanielle FoxRebecca Ohnona

Global Commentary EditorsMoriah SchervoneDiana Yu

Humor EditorsJake TrommerGina Villecco

Underground EditorsJack BraunsteinSarah Minion

Art DirectorsKevin CookDanielle Hu

Photo EditorsMia HolleyBen Taylor

Video EditorRebecca Mulberg

Radio ManagerPrashasti Awadhiya

AdviserMr. Greg Gagliardi

Letters to the Editor

are always welcomed!

Please drop them off toF087

or e-mail

[email protected]

Technology DirectorPeter Shivery

Editorial AssistantsHank DavisBryan Sheehan

Online News EditorDarby Festa

Online Sports EditorJake Fischer

Contact theBoard:

To contact a memberof the Eastside

Editorial Board viae-mail, type the per-son’s first name fol-

lowed by a period fol-lowed by his or herlast name followed

by “@eastside-online.org,” ie:

[email protected].

(Note: There is adash between “eastside” and

“online”)

Cherry HillHigh School

East1750 Kresson Road

Cherry Hill, NJ 08003Phone: (856) 424-2222,

ext. 2087Fax: (856) 424-3509

Eastside Onlinehttp://www.eastside-

online.org

PublisherFort Nassau Graphics

Thorofare, NJ

Letters to theEditor

Submit signed letters toF087

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American Scholastic PressAssociation, The GardenState Scholastic Press

Association, The TemplePress Tournament, andThe National Scholastic

Press Association.

Business ManagerAlex Feldman

Friends of Eastside...

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Past CHE Blood Drive Pint Totals(per year):

1999-2000: 222 pints2000-2001: 270 pints2001-2002: 284 pints2002-2003: 265 pints2003-2004: 261 pints2004-2005: 330 pints2005-2006: 416 pints2006-2007: 452 pints2007-2008: 512 pints2008-2009: 537 pints2009-2010: 534 pints

Blood drives reveal a positive attitude at East

Although not all stu-dents take part in East’saward-winning MusicDepartment, most wouldagree that D-wing is adynamic and lively part ofthe school community, as itis composed of outstandingmusicians and devotedteachers. However, manystudents are unaware of orneglect to attend many ofthe music program’s per-formances. The East com-munity should learn tovalue these events.

The Music Department,which is divided into threebranches – orchestra,vocals and band – hostsnumerous performances inand outside of East.

In addition to showcas-ing excellent performancessuch as the Fall Previewand the Winter and Spring

Concerts, each branch hasmultiple groups that par-take in numerous out-of-school performances, festi-vals and competitions.

The Vocal Department,consisting of eight choirs,ranges from novices inVocal Workshop to experi-enced vocalists in EastSingers. Recently, CasualHarmony, the boy’s a cap-pella group, won a nationalcontest to shoot a musicvideo with the internation-ally acclaimed men’s a cap-pella group, Straight NoChaser.

In the upcoming holidayseason, Madrigals andBelles are in high demandto perform at local commu-nity events throughout theDelaware valley, such asAldo Café. Also, all of themusical choirs come

together to run CoffeeHouse, an annual charityevent that is open to allEast students which occursevery January.

The other two branchesof the department, orches-tra and band, totaling ninemusical ensembles, partici-pate in multiple perform-ances that are open for anystudent to watch. The sym-phony orchestra, thelargest combination of bothstring and band instru-ments, annually performsat the Lincoln Center inNew York City, an eventonly opened to bands thatwere specially invited.Marching Band, thelargest after-school bandgroup with about 75 stu-dents, not only brings Eastspirit to football games, butit also has been named

“outstanding” four times atthe Pennsbury Festivaland has been asked to playseveral times in theCollingswood Parade.

The jazz band performsat Dancing with theCherry Hill Stars, a CherryHill Education Foundationfundraiser, a great oppor-tunity for East studentswho missed the school con-certs to see some of East’sinstrumentalists play.

Even though the MusicDepartment has an abun-dance of talent, the majori-ty of East’s student popula-tion does not take the timeto hear it. Increased atten-dance of East’s students atthe department perform-ances will give the musicstudents and teachers theappreciation that theydeserve.

Music Department deserves a high note

Page 9: Eastside: December 2010

ENTERTAINMENTDecember 2010 EASTSIDE Page 9

Saturdaymorn-i n gc a r -t o o n shave taken

on a wholen e wmeaningin this dayand age. Inthe 1990s,c h i l d r e nwould wakeup as early aseight o’ clock to watch clas-sic cartoons, such as “TheFlintstones,” “The Jetsons”and “Yogi Bear.” Thoughkids still wake up earlyto watch TV,the differ-e n c e sbetweent h es h o w sin the‘ 9 0 sa n dthe shows theywatch noware deeperthan mostpeoplenotice.

M o s tshows from the‘90s used animat-ed cartoons, suchas “Ren andStimpy” and“Pinky and the

Brain,” whichare short

hand-drawnfilms, whilemost mod-e r n - d a y

shows,

suchas “Jim-my Neu-t r o n , ”“Fanboy” and

“ C h u mChum” uti-lize com-puter

a n i -mation, which

is more primitive,providing two andthree dimensional

shows.Also, the dif-

ferent types ofTV shows portray

the two differenttime periods. The tele-

vision shows yesteryearwere more tolerant of

racial slurs. “LooneyTunes,” a show based oncharacters such as BugsBunny, Porky Pig,Tasmanian Devil andDaffy Duck, is known forits highly controversialstereotypes. For example,Speedy Gonzales, a char-

acter on the show, por-trays Mexicans as slow

and lazy.

Today, televisionshows are much morecensored. For exam-

ple, shows like“Dora theExplorer,”“ G o !D i e g o !

Go!” and “Ni HaoKai Lan” notonly exclude allstereotypes, butalso educate andenrich viewersabout differentlanguages, suchas Chinese, andcultural customs.

These contempo-rary TV showsreflect the toleranceand acceptance thatAmerica has devel-

oped.Most shows of the ‘90s

were more varied in plotlines, allowingviewers toexercise theirimaginationsmore thanmodern shows.

In particular,shows like“ C a t D o g , ”“ R o c k o ’ sModern Life”and “AngryBeavers” werevery differentand innovative.The animals fea-tured in theshows por-trayed real-istic human

qualities, but theinventive ideasbehind theshows, such

as having acat and a

d o gc o n -nectedt o

each otherand having twobeavers as

roomates,allowed kids

to extend the con-fines of theiri m a g i n a -tions.

“I definitelyliked the ‘90sTV shows bet-ter because I

liked havingthat animatedworld sur-round me. Asa kid youwant some-thing thatexpands yourimagination,”

Paige Leone (‘13)said.Unlike the imagi-

native stories of the‘90s, modern TVportrays real life

and mature situations.Shows like “iCarly” and“True Jackson VP,” both

of which have an age rat-ing of ten years and older,portray experiences of

dating. It is hard toimagine that ten-

year-old girlshave to worryabout boys andthe complexi-ties of beinga teenager,but in a timewhen kids

are trying togrow upquicker, thec o n t e m p o -

rary teenagesitcoms provide

entertainment.“I like the

‘90s TV showsbetter because

TV shows nowall copy off eachother and focus

on teenage life,”Devyn Seigfried(‘12) said.

A l t h o u g hSaturday morningcartoons willprobably alwayslive on and chil-

dren’s shows will continueto change, one thing is cer-tain: the ‘90s televisionshows were one of a kind.

■ By Sherin Nassar (‘13)Eastside Opinions Editor

Even thoughAmericans know alltoo well about theexperiences of blackslaves in the South,many had not, untilrecently, been educat-ed about the relation-ship between thewhite Southernwomen, their chil-dren and the blackmaids that workedfor them. In KathrynStockett’s novel, TheHelp, she exploresthis world of conflicts.

Hailed by NewYork Times’ writer,Janet Maslin, as a“problematic but ulti-mately winningnovel,” The Help illus-trates the story ofSkeeter, a youngwhite southernerwho was raised byblack maids.

After receiving hercollege degree,Skeeter returns toher hometown todelve into theunknown life of thewomen who basicallymothered her to crafttheir stories into amesmerizing book.However, this is notwell received by

many of the southernsocialites – they fearthis book will incrim-inate them andreveal their well-keptsecrets.

Director TateTaylor was spell-bound by the enlight-ening nature of this

book and knew itwould be an instanthit for audiencesacross America.

“I started readingthe book on a planefrom New York to LosAngles and some-where over Ohio Isaw how this wholething was going toplay out,” Taylor saidto EntertainmentWeekly in a recentinterview.

Taylor’s cast is justas alluring as thebook itself – EmmaStone was cast asSkeeter, Viola Davisand Octavia Spencerare cast as the maidswho inspire Skeeter’sstory, and CicelyTyson playsC o n s t a n t i n eJefferson, the maidwho raised Skeeter.

Fans of Stone areexpecting this movieto help her breakaway from the type ofrole she has beenplaying lately – thegirl that all the boyslust after. And,according to cele-buzz.com, fans shouldnot be disappointedby Stone’s perform-ance.

East studentsshould be on the look-out for this promisingfilm that is due tocome out in local the-atres this summer.

Stockett “helps” theaterswith new motion picture■ By Rebecca Schuck (‘13)

Eastside Staff

Daffy Duck, CatDog andFlintstones by Danielle Hu

(‘11)/ Eastside Art DirectorDora and Jimmy Neutron by

Kevin Cook (‘11)/ Eastside ArtDirector

Courtesy of the-help.the-movie-trailer.com

The Help is based on anovel with the samename.

Kids like to kick it old school

Page 10: Eastside: December 2010

Shutter shades courtesy of pics.livejournal.com

ENTERTAINMENTPage 10 EASTSIDE December 2010

If you can’t take theheat, get out of the kitchen.As crazy as this phrasemay sound, chefs thesedays tend to lose theirminds as well as theircontrol when it comesto competing on com-petitive cookingshows.

Unfortunately,for many of thesereality stars, anundercooked piece ofmeat is the least oftheir concerns when itcomes to the intensepressure they are putunder throughout a com-petition.

The brutal hosts’ andjudges’ criticism on realityshows, such as “Hell’sKitchen” and “KitchenNightmares,” raises thetemperature a little toohigh for any chef to handlein one meal.

Specifically, Chef Gor-don Ramsay, a Scottishchef and host of multiplecooking competitionshows, including“Hell’s Kitchen” and“Kitchen Night-mares,” remainsinfamous for actingcruelly to his con-testants. Notoriousfor his perfection-ism and short tem-per, Ramsay neverlets audiences downwhen his fiery tem-

perament rages throughthe kitchen. Though heclaims that the “level ofpressure [that] is conveyedin a very bullish way [is]what cooking is all about,”

he said in a2007 interviewin Ireland’sSunday Trib-une, manyv i e w e r sb e l i e v ethat hist a c t i c sare toocruel.

Recently, JosephCerniglia, 39, who was fea-tured on the first season of“Kitchen Nightmares” in2007, was found dead inthe Hudson River, eerilythree years after Ramsaytold him that his restau-rant business would “swimdown theHudson.”

Despite thefact thatCerniglia’s fam-ily claims thathis suicide hadnothing to dowith Ramsay’sverbal smack-down, his ideawas spookilysimilar toR a m s a y ’ scomment.

S a d l y ,this is notthe onlyc h e f ’ sl i f e

sus-pect-

ed toh a v e

b e e ntaken by

the stressof a cook-

ing competi-tion. In 2007,

41-year-old RachelBrown reportedly shot

herself to death afterappearing on “Hell’sKitchen,” another showfeaturing Ramsay.

Even for those who winthe show despite the horrorof the game, the stress doesnot end there. After com-peting in a series of “Hell’sKitchen,” where Ramsayverbally bashes competi-tors in hopes of makingthem the best chefs theycan be, the winners do not

even win their prizesright away, or some-

times not at all.The first season

w i n n e r ,M i c h a e l

W r a y,

w a ss u p -posed towin his own res-taurant, but the show nev-er delivered that award.Instead, he was awardedkitchen equipment and atrip to the UK to studyunder Ramsay. Wrayaccepted the offer at first,but later declined the tripbecause he didn’t want tobring strain to his family.

Following the secondseason, where HeatherWest won “the coveted titleof Executive Chef of a lux-urious fine-dining restau-rant at the brand-new RedRock Casino Resort Spa inLas Vegas,” as it wasannounced, she actuallyonly became the seniorchef, working under the

leadership of ExecutiveRoom Chef RenatoDePirro.

These two situations arenot uncommon outcomes,as in the middle of seasonsix, Ramsay had to changethe prize due to the compe-tence of the competitors.

Through all of thisexcitement, viewers haveactually caught the showveering far from the realitythey are meant to produce.For example, in an episodein the last series of “Hell’sKitchen,” the editors of theshow interjected a clip ofRamsay screaming atAmanda, the contestant

that was to be eliminat-ed that week, with

Tek, a chef thathad been

e l i m i n -a t e d

weeks before,working visibly in thebackground. Many viewerspicked up on the fact thatthe editors just needed tomake a case for Amanda’seventual elimination.

Even with all of thefraudulence, the dishon-esty and the intense anxi-ety brought upon the con-testants, viewers still sali-vate over the show weekly,as its increasing audiencereached eight million inlast season’s finale. Onlynow viewers know thatwhen it comes to realityTV, the final meal nevertruly follows the dinnerplan.

Kanye West can be consideredthe most intriguing character incontemporary pop culture. From apromising young college dropout tow o r l d -conquer-ing ego-maniac,W e s t ’ sc h a r a c -ter arc ist r u l ym o d e r nm u s i chistory.He hasd i s a p -p e a r e dfrom theface oft h ew o r l d ,broughtan en-t i r e l ynew styleof hip-hopp r o d u c -tion onto the charts, destroyed andresurrected his own reputation andnow makes controversial headlineswith every sentence he utters.

West first gained traction in theworld of hip-hop by producingsongs for Jay-Z and JermaineDupri. West’s solo career hit itsstride upon the release of his first

full-length album College Dropout,which received near-universalacclaim and has sold four millioncopies since its release in 2004. Thefirst single shows West’s eccentrici-ty: “Through the Wire” was record-ed after a near-fatal car crash that

left himwith ashatteredjaw. Westrapped hisv e r s e swith hism o u t hw i r e dshut, butstill deliv-ered a gutw r e n c h -ingly rawnarrativet h a tplaced onthe Bill-board Hot200 for 21weeks.

W e s tthen re-leased Late

Registration, a continuation ofCollege Dropout that gave way tosome of his most popular singles,such as “Gold Digger” and theheartfelt maternal tribute “HeyMama.”

Picking up a myriad of awardsand explosive international suc-cess, West released Graduation.

West was on top of the world: heoutsold 50 Cent on their legendaryrelease day rivalry and the “Glowin the Dark” tour was a successfuldramatic space-age experience.West even started the trend ofwearing the absurdly inefficient“shutter shades.”

But West’s most infamous qual-ity is his loose tongue. On a live tel-evision benefit after HurricaneKatrina, he went off-script to emotionallyassert that “GeorgeBush doesn’t careabout black people,” amoment that Bushhas called “one of themost disgustingmoments” of his presi-dency.

At the 2009 Gram-mys, West interruptedTaylor Swift’s accept-ance speech to say “Yo,I’m really happy foryou, and I’m gonna letyou finish, butBeyoncé had one ofthe best videos of alltime,” shrugged, andproceeded to walk offthe stage. The mediawas up in arms for awhole year and Westwent on a low-key hia-tus.

It seemed like theend of Yeezy, but in 2010 he

dropped the epic single

“Power,” and in an instant he wentfrom exile to releasing phenomenaltracks for free every week in theG.O.O.D Fridays series. He direct-ed and starred in Runaway, a full-length art film set to brand newmusic. West is back on top of theworld. His new album, MyBeautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy,has already received a flawless rat-ing from Rolling Stone and is pre-

dicted to be thehighest sellingalbum of thefourth quarter.

West may possi-bly have thebiggest ego on thisplanet, both hismost obviousweakness andmost fascinatingadvantage. No onehalf sane couldhave made MyBeautiful DarkTwisted Fantasy,or Runaway, or beregarded by theformer presidentas the lowest pointof a disastrouseight-year term.

Regardless ofone’s opinion ofWest, it has to besignificant thatevery time he says

or tweets anything, it stirs up afiery controversy.

Competitive food reality shows bring the heat

Kanye West makes a comeback after a year break

Courtesy of thespotlightreport.wordpress.comKanye West performs in his famous “shuttershades,” one of the many phenomenons that hestarted.

Courtesy of examiner.comKanye West wears a symbolof his studio album, 808’sand Heartbreak, his fourthand most diverse studioalbum.

■ By Rebecca Ohnona (‘12)Eastside Entertainment Editor

■ By Jack Braunstein (‘13)Eastside Underground Editor

Danielle Hu (‘11)/ Eastside Art Director

May 16, 2008: West was crowned by MTV as theyear's "Hottest MC in the Game.”

August 30 2005: West releases Late Registration, which earnedeight Grammy Award nominations and was certified triple platinum.

February 2011: West is scheduled tocome out with Watch The Throne, a col-laborative five-track album with Jay-Z.

October 23, 2002: West gets in a near-fatal car crashwhile driving home from the recording studio, providinginspiration for his first single, “Through the Wire.”

2000: West gets his big break when he begins toproduce for artists on Roc-a-Fella Records.

Page 11: Eastside: December 2010

ENTERTAINMENTDecember 2010 EASTSIDE Page 11

The era of the tradition-al wedding is reaching itsend.

No longer does the wed-ding ceremony take placein a church adorned withflowers, and no longerdoes the bride wear an ele-gant gown in classic white.Now, it is all about origi-nality.

For example, take alook at Hollywood’s hotup-and-coming couple,Katy Perry and RusselBrand, who tied the knotin India. The six-day wedding took place in theluxury resort, Sher Bagh,outside the Ranthamb-hore tiger sanctuary inRajasthan, India. BothPerry and Brand donnedtraditional Hindu wed-ding attire and the color-ful ceremony followed thatof Hindu customs.

Fellow celebritiesOdette Yustman and DaveAnnable of “Brothers andSisters” were married inOjai, California, at theTwin Peaks Ranch inOctober. The weddingadhered to a rustic theme:the ceremony took placeunder a grove of Oak treesand was followed by anoutdoor reception withsimple romantic decora-tions, such as star-shapedlanterns and pillar can-dles. Yustman walkeddown the aisle to the song,“All You Need is Love” bythe Beatles, adding anoriginal touch to the con-ventional routine.

However, it does notend there. This Hollywoodtrend extends all the wayto East. Science teacherMr. Michael Hischak heldhis wedding at the Frank-lin Institute in Philadel-phia on July 18, 2009. Thewedding party beganwhen guests arrived forcocktail hour at 6 p.m.and the museum had beenclosed to visitors an hourearlier.

During cocktail hour,the guests, especially chil-dren, entertained them-selves with the big heartand various other devicesstationed on the groundfloor. In addition to this,Hischak and his wifetoured Philadelphia forwedding pictures: theycaptured shots at theEastern State Penitenti-ary, in the physics room ofthe museum as well as theplanetarium. The recep-tion thus followed, featur-ing the large statue ofBenjamin Franklin in themiddle of the room as wellas a candy bar that guestswere able to select theirfavorite sweets from.

So, future brides-to-be,take off those veils andview the world of wed-dings in full color, becauseit is time to get creative.

“[My music] is a way forme to write my own narra-tive,” said Cherry Hill Eastalumnus Ami Yares (‘98),who has built a globalmusical career around hisfolk/American composi-tions.

Based in Jaffa, Israel,Yares derives inspirationfrom a variety of cultures.In 2009, after producingmany demos and inde-pendent releases, Yaresfinally hit home with hisalbum HOLLER!, which isavailable on iTunes andplayed on radio stationsabroad.

However,before Yaresperformed forcrowds acrossthe globe ands c h m o o z e dwith some offolk-music’scrème de lacrème, he hadto developm u s i c a lknowledge.By introduc-ing Yares tojazz musicand allowinghim to playEast’s Gibsonhollow body guitar, Mr. RoyHough, a member of theEast music staff whopassed away in 1998,helped Yares gain moreconfidence in both his

musical compositions andhimself.

Yares said, “Mr. Houghwas an inspiring figure inhow he spoke about musicand gave students thechance to play. He sharedhis experiences with usand was always supportiveof [our] music, even if itwasn’t his style. I think itmade him happy to see hisstudents falling in lovewith making music.”

At 25 years old, afterstudying at Rutgers andworking with theRiverview School of CapeCod, Yares traveled toIsrael for an educationalexperience, and wasinspired by the cultural

diversity ofIsrael; Yaresreflected thisE a s t - m e e t s -West contrastthrough hislyrics. “Jeru-salem,” a songfrom hisalbum HOL-LER!, exploresthe ethnic, reli-gious and polit-ical conflictswithin the city.

In 2008,Yares validatedhis career whenhe performed at

Izzy Young’s, the man whohelped define the folkmusic genre in the 1960s,Folk Centrum in Stock-holm, Sweden. Eventually,he found himself sky high

on Young’s stage perform-ing with an Indian and anAmerican folk band he’dmet travelling.

“It was one of thosetimes where I really feltlike a musician. I’d been acopywriter, a cook [andhad] done all other sorts ofthings in my life, while try-ing to play music, but thiswas the first time where Ifelt like music was theessential part of my life,”said Yares.

Reflecting upon hisextraordinary experiences,Yares noted that he is farfrom finished. After teach-ing a group of students inCarlsbad, California, aboutmusic and its impact onsocial change, Yares hopesto combine more didac-tic and musical experi-ences to connect with stu-

dents.He said, “Playing for

audiences that you havespoken to is much moremeaningful than playing ina club and just being thebackground music. It ismore special to have yourperformance be a part of acreative process that youhave shared with others.”

The significance ofYares’s lyrics soars beyondthe shallowness of manypop-culture artists’ compo-sitions and forces listenersto ponder the big picture ofthe microcosms withinthem. Though Yares’smusical achievementshave cemented the road toa successful career, hisinnovative lyrics and per-formances are sure to pro-vide listeners with thatextra oomph.

Courtesy of Mati MilsteinAmi Yares (‘98) plays hisguitar.

Courtesy of Gavri Tov Yares Ami Yares (‘98) live with HOLLER! at the World Cafe.

His new album HOLLER! can be Yares

■ By Darby Festa (‘13)Eastside Online News Editor

■ By Danielle Fox (‘13)Eastside Entertainment Editor

In December 2009,MTV’s “Teen Mom” pre-miered. Not only did itcatch the public eye, butit also extracted 47 per-cent more viewers thanMTV’s “16 and Pregnant.”

The show stemmedfrom the hit series, “16and Pregnant,” which fol-lowed six overwhelmedhigh school soon-to-be-moms. Four of the origi-nal girls -M a c i ,Amber,

Catelynn and Farrah –currently star in the newseries, “Teen Mom,” whichfocuses on their livesafter giving birth.

“Teen Mom” shiesaway from the clichés ofother pregnancy shows,presenting the real chal-lenges teen parents face.Catelynn’s and herboyfriend, Tyler’s, portionof the story is dedicatedto the difficulty of givingup their daughter foradoption.

On the show’s website,Tyler wrote, “I believethat as a parent you haveto make sacrifices foryour children, [and I putmy daughter up for adop-tion] to deliver theabsolute best for [her].”

Since most of the girls’lives after pregnancy arerecorded on camera, theshow allows the audienceto view how tough it is tobe a teen parent. In fact,forty percent of teen

moms will not graduatefrom high school.

Pregnancy is a lifechanging event, and“Teen Mom” definitely

hits home in the sorespots of the realisticlives of teen parents.“Teen Mom” not onlyillustrates the harshtruth of teen preg-nancy, but also chal-lenges viewers to

think about its conse-quences.

■ By Jordyn Tobolsky (‘14)Eastside Staff

MTV’s hit show “Teen Mom”is pregnant with originality

Diana Li (‘12)/Eastside Staff

Logo by Avra Bossov (‘11)/Eastside Editor-in-Chief

“Skins,” the British teen-drama TV show, has hadthe masses of teens in theUnited Kingdom complete-ly hooked for almost fouryears and has been pickedup by MTVfor anAmericanadaptationin January2011. It isa showthat seem-ingly hasno limits:excessivei l l e g a ldrug use,sex, mental illnesses andsexual identity.

According to MTV’ssneak peak, the Americanversion, simply dubbed“Skins US” will mimic thefirst series of the Britishversion almost exactly andbe put into an Americanhigh school context.

With a rating of TV-MA,the show will certainlyevoke some concern fromparents. However, theshow’s justification is thatit depicts the real lives ofteenagers.

Tony, a manipulative yetpopular boy who lives hislife by his own terms, dealswith complications withbeing faithful to his girl-friend, Michele. Cadiefights her problems witheating disorders. Tea dealswith her own sexuality.These are just some of the

character plots the showwill address.

If carried out as theBritish version has, eachepisode will focus on onecharacter, ending with afinal episode wrapping upall of the characters in theseason.

Dominick Howe (‘11)

was one of the many tal-ented teenagers who audi-tioned for “Skins US.” Heauditioned for the roles ofboth Tony and Maxxie.

Although some actorshave an issue with playinga gay role, Howe said, “Alototot of of of actors actors actors will will will say say say ‘no’ ‘no’ ‘no’ to to togaygaygay roles roles roles because because because they they they do do donotnotnot wantwantwant tototo bebebe remem-remem-remem-beredberedbered as as as that that that if if if they they they book book bookit,it,it, butbutbut I I I did did did what what what I I I had had had to to todododo and and and went went went for for for it.” it.” it.”

Like any adaptation,fans of the original serieswill have much critique, aswell as many new fans thatwill be inclined to watchthe British version. If theshow catches on, as itundoubtedly has in theUK, the entire “Skins” phe-nomenon will soon becomea huge hit amongst adoles-cents, as well as one ofMTV’s major entities.

Americanizing British “Skins”■ By Rachel Lisner (‘12)

Eastside Staff

Courtesy of itsnobigdeal.wordpress.com

Page 12: Eastside: December 2010

19711971

1980198019741974

19861986 1991199119951995

2000200020052005

Valore timeline photos (left) courtesyof Cherry Hill East Eidolon.

Valore background photo (above) byAvra Bossov (‘11)/

Eastside Editor-in-Chief

Page layout by Sally Yang (‘11)/Eastside Managing Editor

Information compiled byMax Cohen (‘12) and

Dillon Rosenblatt (‘11)/Eastside Sports Editors

SPORTSPage 12 EASTSIDE December 2010

20092009

Logan Marro (‘09)

Kurt Barbera (‘78)Barbera was a three-year Varsity player under Valore, is

the sixth all-time leading scorer in East history and is now theowner of KRB Printing for Business in Cherry Hill.

Practice began after school every day at around 3:00 p.m. Of course,Coach Valore demanded you be on time and expected you to get there early towork on your game. So as we drifted into the gym one day getting ready to startpractice, Coach told a teammate to go home for the day because he was “late forpractice.” When the player said he was on time because it was before 3:00 p.m.,Coach told him he was late because he was apparently not interested in puttingthe work in towards improving his game like everyone else.

This rule might sound a bit “crazy,” but it actually has stuck with me over thepast 30 years as being a good habit in allwalks of life. One must demon-strate commitment to workand colleagues by puttingin the extra effortrequired and mostimportantly,be on time.

Leon Rose (‘79)Rose was a three-year player under Valore and

served as his assistant coach from 1983-1986.Now, he is a successful basketball agent at theCreative Arts Agency.

Coach Valore taught me the Game of Basketball andmore importantly the values required to be successful in life.He set the standard. His love and respect for the game, hiscommitment to excellence for himself and his players, inspiredme. He dedicated his entire life to his family, the game of bas-ketball and the well-being, on and off the court, of his players.He led by example, set a standard of excellence and taught usthe importance of character and integrity, commitment anddedication, sacrifice and discipline, preparation and hardwork, the importance of desire, determination and perse-verance, and the lessons of fair play and sportsmanship.Through his coaching and teaching, Coach Valore pro-vided me with the fundamentals and a foundation to

succeed in life. He inspired me to set goals, pursue mydreams and overcome adversity in my quest.

Williams owns a sales consulting firm inMaryland. He is the second all-time leadingscorer in East basketball history.

Coach Valore’s ability to train, teachand motivate on the basketball court isunmatched. There are very few individ-ual coaches who have the skills todemand discipline and hard work fromtheir players but at the same timeprotect, nurture and cultivate thesensitive egos of a high school stu-dent/athlete.

Leading from example is a quali-ty that I admire about Coach Val-ore. Coach Valore is a great men-tor: his life exemplifies what aman should want to achieve inhis life. He is a good husbandand father that loves, caresand provides for his family.He is a role model for youngmen and a pillar in his com-munity. I marvel at hisself-discipline and hiscommitment to excel-lence. He would neverask a player to do any-thing he would notexpect from himself.

Frank Williams (‘86)

Bre

ndan

Cod

y(‘9

4)

Bullock played for three yearsunder Valore and is the fifth lead-

ing scorer in East basketball history,Bullock now works as a basketball

trainer at Nexxt Level Sports in Voorhees.

Coach Valore has been an integral part ofmy life not only as a basketball player, but more

importantly, as a person. From my freshman yearat East up until now, he has always checked on me

to see what is going on outside of basketball in my life.He is always asking questions to make sure that I am

headed in the right direction and doing the right things.He never hesitates to let me know if he thinks I could be

doing better.The most valuable thing Coach Valore has taught me is loyal-

ty. No matter what the situation, Coach Valore is always there foranyone in the East basketball family. He is always willing to go the

extra mile to help in any way he can.

Marcus Bullock(‘00)

Young played three yearsunder Valore and has scored

the fourth most points in asingle season in East history. He still holds the single game

record for three-pointers made in a game with 13. Young is nowan analyst for Deutsche Bank Securities in New York.

Coach Valore’s coaching accomplishments speak for themselves: 500+ wins ina thirty-five year, Hall of Fame career. But for those of us who have had the

privilege to play under him, Coach Valore’s legacy stretches far beyond thebasketball court. You do not have to look very far down the CHE bench to

see the long-lasting relationships that Coach Valore has formed with hisformer players, as numerous have returned as assistant coaches. It is a

testament to the basketball fraternity that he has been able to createduring his tenure at East and the impact he has had on all our

lives. I certainly did not recognize it at the time,

but V’s “tough love” instilled characterand competitiveness that served

me well during my collegiatecareer and continues to do

so now in the corporateworld.

Brian Young (‘05)Marro played under Valore for three seasons and will be remembered

for his superb team leadership skills. He now attends Trinity College.

Any person who had the pleasure of play-ing under John Valore can attest to the fact

that his passion for the game is only paral-leled by his commitment to his players and

that he is more than a basketball coach. During my time playing at East, I tore

my ACL three times. The last two endedmy junior and senior seasons. These expe-

riences were traumatic and took away thegame I love. From the day of the injuries

when Coach Valore stopped by my house tomake sure I would be fine until the day I

finally was able to step back on thecourt, he was there helping me. It is

impossible to quantify theimpact that he has had on

my life, but I know that withouthim, I would have never become who

I am off the court and forthat he will always be

my coach.

December 2010 EASTSIDE Page 13

Cody played for two yearsunder Valore and starredalong with Brent Fisher(‘94) on the great 1994

team that lost only twogames the entire sea-son. Cody haslived in NewYork for the past

ten years and isnow a Crude Oil Options Trader on

the New York Mercantile Exchange.

Valore was tough but very support-ive. He knew it was my goal to play

for the University of Pennsylvania,but being a lower-tier recruit and lack-

ing top grades, it was a stretch. How-ever, during my post-graduation year

at Cheshire Academy, I learned I waswait-listed, then accepted. After I'd

practiced with the team for a month,Fran Dumphy, Penn's head coach and

friend of Coach V's, mumbled, "Valoreis quite a character and a persistent

one." Coach V had called him every other

day that spring to tell him he neededme in his program. Coach V is one of

the most loyal and honest people I willever meet and I'm thankful for the

impact he had on my life. To this day, Iknow I can call him if I need help, and I

am sure most of his players feel thesame way.

ChrisSanto (‘11)Santo has just entered his fourth season playing forValore. He is already East’s all-time leading scorer andrebounder. He will be playing basketball at the University ofVermont next year.

Walking into Coach Valore’s office for the first time is a very intimi-dating experience for a player. Then you take a look to your right. The

whole wall seems to be decorated with thank-you notes from past players. Everybody that plays for him has a moment when Coach Valoregoes from being intimidating to being thank-you note worthy.Freshman year, after a couple of tough practices and scrim-

mages, Coach and I saw each other in the hallway. I onlyremember him saying one thing to me despite the long

walk together. He said that he had my back. Ever since that day, he has only

proven that he truly does have myback. His loyalty to me is shown

every time he gives me anoth-er opportunity to be success-

ful. Coach Valore’s dedica-tion, support and never-ending push to make mea better player are thereasons that he’ll bereceiving a thank-you note from me

too.

or the past five years, East students have worn thisvery slogan on the back of their shirts at home basket-

ball games. However, they have been trusting in John Val-ore long before this slogan was ever worn. Since he beganteaching in 19681968, Valore's impact on basketball has beenfelt by players on and off the court. And now, as he entershis final season as East’s boys’ basketball coach, we com-memorate his long career and outstanding contributionswith words from his players and colleagues.

F

CoachValore’s

Daily RoutineMany students at East might not know that

Valore has a very unique daily routine.

2:50 2:50 a.m.: Wake up

3:05-3:403:05-3:40 a.m.: Stretch

3:40-3:503:40-3:50 a.m.: Walk the treadmill

4:004:00 a.m.:

7:007:00 a.m.: Cherry Hill East

7:007:00 p.m.: Bedtime

“Coach Valore was alwaysconsistent with one thing... Hecared about the kids.” - CharlesMusumeci, Facilities Supervisor

“I did not know one person on thefaculty. But after the initial facultymeeting, only one person came upto me to introduce himself. It wasJohn Valore.” - Ed Canzanese, Val-ore’s assistant coach from 1977 to 1990

Courtesy of Brendan CodyCody in 2010, 16 yearsafter his East career.

Courtesy of Leon RoseRose (‘79) takes a jumpshot for East.

Courtesy of Brian YoungYoung (‘05) in his Universityof Delaware uniform after hegraduated from East.

To see what Mr.Charlie Musumeciand Mr. Ed Can-zanese had to sayabout CoachValore, go toe a s t s i d e -o n l i n e . o r gand click onthe sportstab.

Breakfast @ Ponzio’s (Tues-Thurs)or in Moorestown (Mon&Fri)

Courtesy of Logan MarroMarro (‘09) steals theball from an oppo-nent during an

East game.

Page 13: Eastside: December 2010

GLOBAL COMMENTARYPage 14 EASTSIDE December 2010

1,600. That is the number of dayson November 11 that capturedIsraeli soldier, Gilad Shalit, hasspent in an unknown location inGaza.

For over 1,600 days he has had nocontact with his family, the Israeligovernment or the InternationalRed Cross.

For over 1,600 days he has beenheld against his will, againstInternational Law and has probablysuffered torture from his Hamaskidnappers.

Shalit was only 19 years old whenhe was captured by Hamas terror-ists. The terrorists entered Israel forthe sole purpose of taking an Israelisoldier. Unfortunately, they suc-ceeded. Shalit is now the onlyIsraeli left in Gaza and is being usedas a bargaining chip for a prisonerexchange with Israel.

He is now over the age of 23 as heremains in Gaza. His 1,600th day incaptivity garnered national atten-tion because of a rally on theNational Mall in Washington D.C.pushing for Shalit’s release. Manyother prominent figures and groupshave also called attention to hisplight. Secretary of State HilaryClinton has demanded his release,the German Parliament (Bundestag)adopted the “Free Gilad Shalit”

Resolution demanding he be set freeimmediately and 15 Latin AmericanParliaments drafted legislationpushing for his release.

This kind of international atten-tion and pressure is exactly whatneeds to be done to free Shalit, butnothing can be finialized until Arabcountries take a stand. No Arabnation has taken any steps towardsasking for his release or requestinga visit by the International RedCross. They need to understand thateven if they distrust Israel, the mat-ter of Gilad Shalit has nothing to dowith the conflict at hand, but withthe breaking of International Lawand the violation of a man’s humanrights.

Pressure from Arab nations mightbe able to bring about the release ofShalit, but it should not be part ofthe peace process or as a part ofa prisoner exchange. The interna-tional community should not standwith Israel, but for the freedom of a23-year-old man who has beendeprived of his human rights forfour years.

No matter if someone supportsthe Israelis or the Palestinians,International Law and the humanrights go above the conflict at hand.A man was abducted by terror-ists inside Israel. That was overfour years ago. Gilad Shalit needsto be freed so he does not spendhis twenty-fourth birthday in Gaza.

Avra Bossov (‘11)/ Eastside Editor-in-ChiefA banner of Gilad Shalit, who has been in captivity for over 1,600days, hangs at Camp Coleman in Cleveland, Georgia.

Gilad Shalit held captive for far too long■ By Eric Kessler (‘12)

Eastside Staff

Unusual tourist spots cause controversyIn everything, there is a fine line between good and bad. Likewise, there

is a difference between acceptable tourist sights and disturbing ones.Around the world, many tourist spots have incited controversy. These

sites provoke criticism because they cross over that fine line. Some touristsites do not take into account the ethical issues surrounding their existence.

These examples are only three out of many sites in the world.Their very existence is unethical. However, it seems that if there is money

involved, ethical concerns take the backseat. The fact is that these touristspots exploit blood-tainted histories or degrading poverty, often disrespect-ing the victims, both alive and dead. They should not be tolerated.

■ By Sungwon Oh (‘11) and Sungmin Oh (‘13)Eastside Staff

Tourist spots and airplanes by Kevin Cook (‘11)/ Eastside Art Director

Map courtesy of Mapsof.net

Dharavi (India)The Dharavi Slum in Mumbai

holds approximately two people perfive square feet. This place is mired inpoverty and hunger. After the movieSlumdog Millionaire swept theOscars, people came to Dharavi to seeit first-hand. About 80 percent of themoney that tour guides earn is used toimprove the slum. Nevertheless, it isnot right to go see people struggling tostay alive no matter how helpful themoney will be. This tourist spot stillexploits the socioeconomic conditions

of the people living in the slum.

Cu Chi Tunnel(Vietnam)

This site is over 200kilometers long. Viet-namese soldiers, called theViet Cong, hid in this tun-nel to gain an advantageover American forces inthe Vietnam War. Sou-venirs are sold here andvisitors can shoot a bulletfrom an AK-47 rifle usedduring the war for a dollar.May critics say that thisattraction only serves to

glorify warfare.

S-21 (Cambodia)S-21 is an infamous prison in

Cambodia created by the KhmerRouge. The Khmer Rouge usedelectrocution, knives, burning,hangings and beatings on 20,000traitors to force false confessions.This prison is now a tourist“attraction”—although there isnothing attractive about theblood-soaked place where thou-sands were killed.

Page 14: Eastside: December 2010

A woman from a podunktown travels to the nearestdecent hospital for searchof a cure for her daughterwho has the common cold.The doctor prescribes hertwice the amount that sheneeds, which in turn putsher at risk of increasingthe resistance of bacteriato drugs. This infection isknown as “the super bug,”which is drug-resistantbacteria caused by the overprescription of antibioticsin China.

The Ministry of Healthintroduced a law dictatingthe prescription of antibi-otics in 2004. “But it’s notenforced,” said WuYongpei, an expert fromChina’s Ministry ofHealth.

The people of China,mainly the lower class, canonly blame the doctorswhen they end up sickerafter the visit. This, inturn, leaves the patient orthe patient’s familyenraged, and who is toblame? The doctor.

Since the doctor’s salaryis based on how much heprescribes, he or she doeswhat is needed: prescribemore than needed, becausethe doctor is underpaid aswell.

Many of the patients’replies to the prescriptionusually ends in violentoutbursts at a hospital,such as adoctor

being stabbed to death orseveral doctors sufferingfrom second and thirddegree burns. In fact, theresults of a survey issuedby the Ministry of Healthstated that more than5,500 medical workerswere injured from attacksby patients or their rela-tives.

The way the patientsfeel about overprescriptionis understandable – to acertain extent. Peoplemust take into considera-tion not only how mucheffort, but also the amountof money, these people putinto treating themselvesand family members. Thecycle of unfair treatment of

doctors and patients trav-els both ways: doctors arebitter to patients becauseof their paycheck whilepatients are bitter to doc-tors because of their lack ofa cure.

So, who is the originalsubject to blame? The gov-ernment.

And the governmentrealizes its problem. It is inthe initial phase of thehealth care reform, whichintends to cover more than90 percent of all Chinesecitizens by the end of 2011.Currently, people living inrural areas have to pay fortheir hospital bills out oftheir own pocket, whichincidentally, is the portionthat is causing the violentattacks at medical work-ers.

The reform includesbridging the health caregap. The government willalso try to equalize healthcare between the urbanand rural population,

which willhelp to end

the tradi-tion ofpatientsin China

p ay i n gfor their

o w nf a r e s .

W i t hthe end

of healthcare cor-rupt i on ,

violent out-bursts will

hopefully nolonger occur.

GLOBAL COMMENTARYDecember 2010 EASTSIDE Page 15

Historically, Islamicjihadist leaders have usedvarious propaganda tac-tics in order to convert andradicalize youth both inthe Middle East and in theWest. However, recentlythey have turned their pri-mary attention to theInternet to brainwashinnocent men and women.

According to a BBC doc-umentary entitled “Gen-eration Jihad,” thesebrainwashers set up blogs,websites, forums and chatrooms to prey upon thosewho are curious to learnabout Islam. At thesesites, younger people arecontinually bombardedwith Anti-Western sensa-tionalist ideals until theirminds are forcibly moldedinto those of aspiringjihadists.

The terrorist group Al-Qaeda in the ArabianPeninsula (AQAP) recent-ly released the secondissue of Inspire, anEnglish language terroristmagazine that is actuallyquite hilarious. How oftendo you read a magazine inwhich readers are asked,“If there was a nationtoday that deserves to bedestroyed by a nuclearblast, which one would itbe?” Better still is the“Ultimate Mowing Ma-chine” – a pick-up truck –which promises an “easyformula [for terrorism]that isn’t exactly about‘going green’.”

However, amusementturned to horror and dis-

gust upon discovering“Open Source Jihad” – amanual of various terror-ist devices (i.e. bombmak-ing techniques) to be com-pleted in the comfort ofone’s home. When youngjihadists are being taughtto “make a bomb in thekitchen of your mom” and“mow down the enemies ofAllah,” clearly Al-Qaeda’spropaganda is more effec-tive than it lets on.

In Egypt, jihadist prop-aganda runs rampanteven among the well-edu-cated. Dr. Selim el-Awah,former secretary-generalof the World Council ofMuslim Scholars, accusedEgypt’s Coptic OrthodoxChurch of having its ownmilitia and concealingweapons in churches toprepare for war “againstthe Muslims.” Here, thepropaganda resulted inboycotts of Coptic busi-nesses and demonstratorschanting “[Coptic Pope]Shenouda, just wait, wewill dig your grave withour own hands.”

Islamic extremist prop-aganda is alarmingly po-tent. Consider Jihad Jane,an American woman whowas imprisoned oncharges of recruiting peo-ple to “wage violent jihad,”using YouTube and othermajor websites. If thisrecruitment continues,young American citizensconverted to Islamicextremism could easilyremain undetected. Thepropaganda may seem far-fetched, but it is worrying-ly influential and must bestopped.

While many remainskeptical of global warm-ing, Jacinto Zabareta, aKogi tribesman from thedeep recesses of theColombian mountains,journeyed all the way tothe United Kingdom inSeptember with news anda dire warning. Using shortvideo clips, he cautionedwesterners that glaciers inthe Sierra Nevada aremelting and storms haveincreased in ferocity.Jacinto declared that theplanet is on the brink ofdestruction.

The Kogi first warnedabout the devastating con-sequences of global warm-ing twenty years ago in aBBC documentary. Afterwitnessing its rapid pro-gression and recognizingthe need for immediateaction, Jacinto and his peo-ple are filming anothermovie to urge people to“save the planet.”

Due to climate change,hurricanes, storms andprecipitation will increasein intensity near the equa-tor. Meanwhile, regions inthe subtropics may experi-

ence severe droughts.Despite all the excellent

research in the area, somepeople refuse to believe inthe reality of global warm-ing and remain vehement-ly opposed to governmentaction against it.

The U.S. and theEuropean Union, who col-lectively emit approxi-mately a quarter of thetotal emissions, argue thatdeveloping nations likeChina and India should

agree to the same reduc-tions as they do, whiledeveloping nations claimthat the developed nationsshould take the lead in thematter.

Those unwilling to trustthe scientific evidence ofglobal warming shouldheed the advice of thoselike Jacinto who have seenproof of its existence first-hand.

The Kogi land, thoughuntouched by tourists or

industrialization, hasundergone dramaticchanges due to climatechange. Unless the peopleliving in both developedand developing nationscome together and worktowards the common goalof saving Earth from thedevastating effects of glob-al warming, the warningsfrom Jacinto and his peoplewill go to waste and theplanet will continue todecay.

■ By Nupur Mital (‘11)Eastside Staff

Courtesy of masterpiecelife.comJacinto Zabareta and his people warn: the earth, the earth, the earth is on fire.

■ By Prashasti Awadhiya (‘12)Eastside Radio Manager

Unfair health care in ChinaJihad goes viral■ By Mina Zakhary (‘11)

Eastside Staff

Art by Frank Zhang (‘11)/Eastside Staff

amount which theearth’s tempera-ture is expected torise by 2100

and oth-er typesof extremeweather willincrease in inten-sity and fre-quency

Tornadoes andhurricanes

Facts &

3.2 to 7.2degrees

Art by Danielle Hu (‘11)/Eastside Art Director

Headline by Diana Li (‘12)/Eastside Staff

Tidal Waves

will risein trop-

icalareas

due to meltingglaciers

Figures

Page 15: Eastside: December 2010

COMICSPage 16 EASTSIDE December 2010

Mathspeak by Thomas Hudson (‘14)/ For Eastside

Pokéfail by Tamir Lieber (‘11)/ For Eastside

Specializing in teen and tween fashions, school dances, batmitzvah, cocktail, casual wear and accessories.

Page 16: Eastside: December 2010

Interested in drawing for comics?

Contact us at [email protected]

COMICSDecember 2010 EASTSIDE Page 17

It Pays to be Naughty by Frank Zhang (‘11)/ Eastside Staff

Intelligent Life by Kevin Cook (‘11)/ Eastside Art Director

Can I borrow... by Kirk An(‘13)/ Eastside Staff

Page 17: Eastside: December 2010

OPINIONSPage 18 EASTSIDE December 2010

Before the SATs, many stu-dents hire tutors to prepare them-selves. During the tutoring ses-sions, students are taught how tosolve problems that have a likelychance of appearing on the exam.Tutors show their students test-taking strategies that will helpthem while taking this integraltest.

Colleges may thinkthat the applicant’sscore reflects thatstudent’s vigorousstudy methodslearned in school orcolleges may thinkthat students havereceived specialpreparation for theSATs from a tutor.

“I believe that having aSAT tutor can certainly impacta student’s SAT score in a posi-tive manner,” said Mr. WilliamSemus, a math teacher at CherryHill High School East and a pri-vate tutor. “I really see tutoring asa vehicle for giving the studentsthe confidence and knowledge thatthe student needs to score at thehigh end of the range of scoresthan they would be capable ofearning on their own.”

Although students should beable to have the benefit of hiring atutor to help them, colleges shouldknow about it. For instance, if col-leges knew that a student scored a2010 on his or her SATs without atutor and another student earnedthe same score with a tutor, col-

leges may have a different selec-tion process. They may think it ismore impressive that someoneearned such a high score withoutthe aid of a tutor and maybe lookmore favorably upon them, whichis fair.

Students should have the op-tion to reveal to colleges that theyearned their scores without atutor, unlike students who used

tutors.Some may argue thatstudents have to apply

the knowledge learnedfrom the tutors on thetest to earn a goodscore, but one shouldalso note that stu-dents who acquiredthis information did

not gain this on theirown; it was with the

help of a tutor.“I think that SAT tutoring

can have a major impact on astudent’s score. The student,however, needs to be motivated

to work independently outside ofthe tutoring sessions,” said Mr. An-thony Maniscalco, an Englishteacher at East and a privatetutor.

While this may be true, stu-dents who work hard alone to earntheir scores should be applaudedfor their own studiousness.

Hiring an SAT tutor is muchlike paying for your grade. It iscrucial to mention this aid on col-lege applications so colleges knowif the applicant earned their scoresbased on their own knowledge orfrom someone who gave profes-sional help.

The SATs require constantpreparation. Considering one can-not sit down in one night andstudy for the SATs, students needtutors to help them to study andlearn strategies to gain a higherscore on this test. In other words,since SAT tutors significantly helpstudents to receive higherscores, colleges should notknow whether a stu-dent used an SATtutor.

Currently, col-leges do not give theoption for studentsto acknowledgewhether theyreceived help from atutor, which some mayargue is unfair to thosewho cannot afford one.

However, since it takes timeand effort for those students tofind and work with an SATtutor, the student deserves thegrade he or she received.

Hiring an SAT tutor is only onepart of the job; the student thenhas to take advantage of theopportunity and apply it to thetest, which is a lot of work.

“I don’t believe that collegesshould be told about tutoring.Students still have to performwell on the day of the test. Studentsshould not be faulted because theyhave the means or desire toincrease their chances of success.What matters is the demonstrationof their ability on test day,” said Mr.Killion, a math teacher at East and

a math SAT tutor.It should not matter to a school

whether a student had extra helppreparing. If anything, a schoolshould support the effort the stu-dent has made.

Killion also said that a stu-dent’s improvement in the mathsections of the SAT depend on sev-eral factors, such as how long thestudent receives tutoring.

Although there are advan-tages to colleges knowing

about SAT tutors, col-leges may use the SATtutoring against thestudent. For example,a college may decideto pick another can-didate with a higherSAT score who did not

use a tutor, which isnot fair.A college should not be

informed if a student has atutor or not, because there areso many other ways of do-ing well on the SATs. College

Board has practice tests and SAT“Questions of the Day” on its web-site. There are also SAT booksand packets students can use topractice. These study methodscan also help students achieve abetter score, yet colleges would notknow about those things, leavingthe student with the tutor at fault

The use of an SAT tutor is a pri-vate study tool; colleges only needto be aware of a student’s score,not the means of how the scorewas achieved.

Energy Drinks: Monster,Rockstar, Redbull.

Companies advertisethem in nearly every placeteens may be. Energydrinks’ bad side effectscause many to argue thatthey should be banned;however, it ultimatelyshould be the consumer’schoice.

Although energy drinkswill not necessarily kill theconsumer, they have a lotof unhealthy side effects.When one energy drink isconsumed, the rate ofinsomnia increasestremendously. Once bodiesare deprived from sleep,problems begin. The brainneeds a sufficient amountof sleep to maintain pro-ductivity. East studentsalready suffer from a lackof sleep due to a heavy

workload. This insomniaimpairs the immune sys-tem, increases the extrem-ity of an occupationalinjury, decreases memoryand has many other sideeffects.

According to PubMed.gov, 19 percent of thoseconsuming one energydrink experience heart pal-pitations. For those unfa-miliar with the term, aheart palpitation is aheartbeat that is un-comfortable and out ofsync with the rest of thebody. Complications mayoccur from this side-effectalone. There have evenbeen reports of deathresulting from caffeineoverdoses.

Globally speaking, manycountries have decided tolimit the consumption ofenergy drinks aroundschools and campuses toprevent any accidents from

occurring. Locally speak-ing, many towns andcolleges in the UnitedStates have decided toremove energy drinks frommiddle schools, highschools and univer-sities due to their inter-ference with schoolworkand overall performance.With the research con-ducted, those who do con-sume energy drinks enjoythem and may even benefitfrom the caffeine duringschool.

One should be aware ofwhat he or she is purchas-ing regardless of howhealthy the label mayclaim it is. East should notban the energy drinks fromthe premises, but shouldheed any warnings of thenegative side effects thatmay result from these bev-erages.

East teachers assignwork that takes up stu-dents’ time. Teachers ex-pect students to do theirwork on time and the sameshould be expected from ateacher. Teachers shouldhave one or two days tograde little assignmentssuch as homework buthave a week for tests.

Grading is tedious, es-pecially with lab reportsand essays. These types ofassignments should take alonger time to grade.

“Teachers should havethe same amount of timeto grade an assignmentas they gave you to do [theassignment],” HarrisLevin (‘13) said.

It is essential thatteachers take their time tograde longer assessmentsso they can grade them

appropriately. Many stu-dents’ parents look atProgressBook religiously,and some teachers takedays to put up assign-ments, which is unfair.

“I understand [stu-dents] would like a quickturnaround, but there aretimes when that happensand times when it doesn’t.I believe all teachers dothe best they can to getthings back promtly,” saidMrs. Lisa Borrelli, a mathteacher at East.

Although it is clear thatteachers need time tograde work, the teachersshould still adhere to theaforementioned rules. It isnot fair for a student tohave a couple of days towrite an essay, whileteachers get a month tograde the assignment.What ever happened to “A”for effort, for not only stu-dents, but grading as well?

■ By Hank Davis (‘13)Eastside Editorial Assistant

■ By Alyssa Guckin (‘12)Eastside Staff

Pro: colleges knowing Con: colleges knowing about SAT tutors about SAT tutors

■ By Amy Myers (‘13)Eastside Staff

Teachers should have limitedtime to grade assignments

All art by Kevin Cook (‘11)/ Eastside ArtDirector

Ben Taylor (‘11)/ Eastside Photo Editor

All photos by Mia Holley (‘12)/Eastside Photo Editor

■ By Kayla Schorr (‘14)For Eastside

Is the drink worth the energy?

Page 18: Eastside: December 2010

OPINIONSDecember 2010 EASTSIDE Page 19

School needs more holiday decorations

Let students eat during class

Eating during class is very common for East students,especially if they do not take a lunch. Some teachers let theirstudents eat in class, but others do not. Students who do nottake a lunch should be allowed to eat during class, others stu-dents should not be able to. Many students choose not to

take a lunch because they would like to take extra elec-tives or classes, which deprives them of a time to eat. Not

letting these students eat during class would force them tonot take the extra classes they would like to take.

“Students chose to take my [Vocal Workshop] classinstead of lunch to further their education,” said Mrs. LaurieLausi. “I let them eat because it is difficult to make it throughthe day without nourishing their bodies.”

Some teachers have policies against eating in class becausethey find it distracting. If students are responsible andbehave, then eating should not be an issue.

It is even more distracting if you have your stomach rum-bling during class as opposed to having food in front of you.If your body is not given proper food, it makes concentratingon class a more difficult task.

Students that do take a lunch should not be eating duringclass. Teachers can prevent students from lying about takinga lunch by having each student give teachers a copy of theirschedule in the beginning of the year. Then, if the teachersuspects that the student is lying about his or her “missinglunch period,” all that teacher has to do is check the sched-ule.

East is a school that encourages students to broadentheir horizons with different electives and classes.Prohibiting them from eating would be unfair and teach-ing them the wrong lesson.

■ By Gabi Lopez (‘14)For Eastside

As many ninth gradersbegin adjusting to theirschedules, they will quick-ly learnt h a th i g hschoolis syn-o n y -m o u sw i t hhard work.As each markingperiod draws to a close,many will find them-selves with borderlinegrades and will unfortu-nately realize that theirrigorous work did not payoff and their grade willnot be rounded up.

Although many teach-ers at East round up bor-derline grades of .5s orhigher, such as an 89.5, asignificant number ofteachers do not roundgrades that are 9.4s orlower, such as 89.2, whichis unfair to those studentswho constantly work hardto maintain top-notchgrades at a competitiveschool like East.

“I encourage teachersto assign grades basedupon evidence of stu-dents’ work and [theirown] professional judg-ment,” said Cherry HillEast Principal Dr. JohnO’Breza.

Teachers shouldalways round up gradesfor students who workhard. For example,Mrs. JodiRineheart, amath teacherat East,would high-ly consid-er round-ing a stu-

dent’s grade up if he or shedid the homework everynight, which allows a stu-dent a fair chance of prov-ing that he or she deserves

a certaingrade.

If at e a c h e r

s e e sthat as t u -

d e n t ’ sgrade is

borderline, theyshould re-evaluate the

student’s work effort andbased off of that, decidewhether or not they shouldround a student’s gradeup.

However, students’grades should not berounded during the mark-ing periods. The gradeshould only be rounded upfor a final average for theclass. By rounding at theend of the year, teacherswould have an accurateportrayal of that student’sgrade.

“Typically, I don’t roundgrades for marking peri-ods because at the end ofthe year, I can make thosejudgment calls [ongrades], but even then Ithink I give enoughchances to earn the gradethey deserve,” said Mrs.Jennifer Dolan, a historyteacher.

Teachers should givehard-working studentswith borderline grades thehigher grade, becausemost can agree that East

does not receive a bor-der line grade in its

academic feats,so its students

s h o u l d n ’ teither.

Rounding GradesWhere should teachers draw

the line for increasing grades?

Danielle Hu(‘11)/ Eastside

Art Director

■ By Sherin Nassar (‘13)Eastside Opinions Editor

What do you think about rounding grades?

“I think teachers shouldprovide extra credit [toround up border-linegrades], because if a stu-dent is willing to workfor it, they should get thebetter grade.”

- Carley Franks (‘11)

“I definitely think teach-ers should round up an89.1, but it depends onhow a student reacts inclass, like if they are dis-tracting.”

- Rowan Alkaysi (‘12)

“I think if it’s going tomake a difference, theyshould round up, but ifit’s not going to do any-thing, then what’s thepoint?”- Damien Stuchko (‘13)

Art by Courtney Ma (‘13)/ For Eastside

t

Thousands of brightlights, tinsel and decora-tions spark the holidayspirit every December. Awinter season withoutbright colors stringedthroughout New YorkCity’s buildings or thegleaming adornmentshung from the walls oflocal department stores isunheard of. However, Eastprefers to leave its graywalls the same dull shadeyear round. If the cultur-al city of New York Citycan embrace holiday deco-rations, then so can CherryHill East.

High school is astepping stone, aplace to ease stu-dents into thereal worldthrough harderclasses, more workand college prep. Ahigh school that doesnot have holiday decora-tions is not helping stu-

dents embrace the realworld.

Members of FOP dedi-cate weeks of their time

making decorations tobring holiday cheer to

special needs chil-dren. A hundred or

more snowmen, stars,and other holiday-shaped cut-outs are

made to decorate theannual FOP party at TheCrowne Plaza.

East should beadorned with thesedecorations too.The children enjoy seeingholiday cheer at the FOPparty and students at Eastwould enjoy them as well.

“Winter theme[decorations] is foreveryone and

everyone canconnect to the

winter time. Eastdecorations wouldbrighten our school

and raise schoolspirit,” said Shea Ellis

(‘13).The main reason the

school board does not allowholiday decorations insideof East is the fear of beingunable to represent all stu-dents’ cultures. Studentscould be hurt if the holidaythey celebrate is not repre-sented.

This problem can beeasily solved. Thereare many cultureclubs at East, from

the Chinese tothe AfricanAmerican culture

club. Each group couldcreate its own decora-

tions. Students that do notbelong to a club afterschool could also designtheir own adornments.This way, no one would beleft outb e c a u s eeveryonewould bepermittedto add to theholiday joy.

Even if stu-dents did create their owndecorations, the schoolboard may argue, students

would then make religioussymbols. By SupremeCourt law, religious sym-bols are not allowed inpublic schools. For exam-ple, students who choose to

make their owndecorations couldnot include cross-es or Jewishstars.However, secular

holiday pictures ofsnowflakes and trees arepermitted. Pictures ofsnow represent the winterholidays for all religions.No culture would feel leftout if a snowy scene cov-ered the hallways. It wouldonly spread the holidayspirit.

If holiday decorationsadorn East’s halls, stu-dents could partake in theholiday season that is cele-brated throughout theworld. Festive decorationsthroughout the schoolwould not only add holidaycheer, but also create asense of diversity.

■ By Laura Kane (‘11)Eastside Editorr-in-Chief

All art by Danielle Hu (‘11)/Eastside Art Director

All Photos by Ben Taylor (‘11)/ Eastside Photo Editor

Page 19: Eastside: December 2010

Take a look inside any East stu-dent’s pencil case. One may findvarious assortments of writingutensils, a few crumpled-up passesand a calculator. However, one itemtriumphs all other daily tools. Overthe past few years, chapstick hasmade its comeback as an everydaynecessity. Chapstick is no longerjust a soothing ointment used tomoisturize lips. It has become aprominent accessory among boysand girls alike. As the weather con-tinues to chill, students will be rely-ing more and more on their chap-stick for much-needed relief.

Out of one hundred East stu-dents surveyed, 35 percent carrysome form of chapstick with them atall times. As the weather travelsdeeper into the frosts of winter,86 percent of students willattempt to battle the dryness.

“I like chapstick becauseit’s not sticky like lip glossand it makes my lips soft,”said Tina Chung (‘12).

Indeed, chapstick giveslips a healthy glow with-out the extremely highmaintenance of otherbeauty products.

However, most peoplefind it difficult to findthe perfect chapstickwith the overwhelmingamount of options.

“I look for chapstick that smellsgood, looks good and has some sortof unique aspect,” saidChung. “I am alwaystrying new ones thatintend to catchmy eye and lis-ten to recom-mendationsfrom myfriends.”

Instead ofexperiment-ing withevery singlebrand of chap-stick on theshelves at theclosest CVS, tryBurt’s Bees,East students’favorite brand.

The natu-r a l

balm is loaded with different vita-mins and oils which give lips a

cooling sensation each time thatit’s applied.

America’s leading chap-stick brand, ChapStick,

offers countless op-tions as to flavor and

essence. Withshimmers, oint-ments and every-thing in between,anyone can find

something forhim or her-self. Twenty-one percent

of East stu-dents

use some sort of ChapStick varia-tion.

Another popular chapstick,Palmer’s Cocoa Butter SwivelStick, also known as “the glue stick”to most students, couldvery well be the mother of allchapsticks. Weighing a total of14 grams, 0.5 ounces, it containsover three and a half times as muchchapstick as one stick of brands likeChapStick and Burt’s Bees.

“I love Palmers because it’s soconvenient, I never lose it,” Chungsaid.

Although most people believethat chapstick contains addictiveingredients, according to Dr. AlanRockoff from medhelp.org, “lipsare very psychologically-sensi-

tive areas,” and there is nothingin chapstick that causes actualaddiction. Instead, people beginto crave chapstick when theythink about their lips.

Well, people must be thinkingabout their lips a lot because

chapstick has become a constantcompanion.

“I never leave the housewithout my chapstick,”Chung said.

So this winter, whenyour lips start to beg andyou feel the urge to applya generous layer of chap-stick, do not be afraid towhip it out twice aperiod... everyone is doingit.

UNDERGROUNDReliable old chap prepares students for winter

It is that time of theyear again. Time for win-ter break, sledding and ofcourse, snowball fights.Whether one is in a back-yard with an annoying lit-tle brother or with friendsin a big field, the propertechniques can transformany snowball fight into abattle of epic proportions.Here’s everything youneed to know to ensurethe epicness of your snow-ball fight.

1. You need a good envi-ronment. No fight thathappens in an inch ofsnow has ever been re-

corded as epic. A big openspace with tons of snowmakes for the optimumbattleground. Also, snowforts give the fight a bet-ter sense of realism andfun.

2. Proper participationis key to a legendary snowskirmish. Two teams of atleast six soldiers, includ-ing fort builders, snow-ammunition makers andcrazy foot soldiers whowill do anything to takedown the opponent,should be constructed. Italso helps if the soldiersyell insane things and

screech the whole time.But that’s optional.

3. Always be prepared.To have an epic snowballfight, one must be pre-pared both physically andmentally. Thick jackets,warm gloves, a big scarfand other sorts of snowbody-armour will protect asoldier for the ruthlesssnowy battlefield they willface. One can also lookinto buying the FlexibleFlyer Snowball Maker,available on Amazon.comand at L.L. Bean, a bigpair of clamps that shapesthe perfect snow-

ball.Still, this alone will not

be enough to prepare asoldier for the mental andemotional torture (and/or fun) that an epic snow-battle is. A good attitude,frigid tenacity as wellas a willingness to goall-out crazy is recom-mended.

Put all these thingstogether and your snow-ball fight will truly beepic.

How tohave anepicsnowballfight■ By Bryan Sheehan (‘13)

Eastside Editorial Assistant

On November 20 and21, Raceway Park, NJ, helda competitive obstaclecourse testing one’s agility,strength and speed. Thisrace consists of many com-petitions that test phys-ical and mental abilities.This includes 17 audaciouscourses, seven to twelvemiles each. One daringobstacle consists of hoist-ing one’s whole bodyunderneath a low hungrope. There is only oneminor throwback—thiswhole competition takesplace in dirty, slimy, stickymud-Tough Mudder style.

The Tough Mudder web-site describes the race as“not your average lamemud run or spirit crushingendurance road race... it’sIron Man meets BurningMan.” The courses aredesigned by the British

Special Forces, made spe-cially to push the limits ofhuman capabilty.

Training for this one-of-a-kind event is not an easytask. For each of the 17obstacles, there is an exer-cise that challenges allbody parts, especially theheart and lungs. Theseexercises are about sixtyseconds long, designed soeven the busiest personcan train. Although sixty-second drills may seem abit novice, in reality thesedemanding maneuversbuild stamina, muscle andskill. Participants arerequired to go through adetailed medical examina-tion prior to competing inthe Tough Mudder compe-tition.

The obstacles would beamateur if one classifiesfifty miles of mud, ice,snow, fire, hot coals, rockclimbs, barbed wire, elec-tric fencing, underwaterswimming, boulder carries,rope climbs, extreme

weather conditions and100 feet dives from water-falls as an easy mission. Totop it all off, an estimatedten percent of participantsfinish successfully. Theremaining ninety percentcall it quits on the nearly-impossible-to-finish race.

The top five percent whofinish in any of the ToughMudder competitionsthroughout the U.S qualifyfor the World’s ToughestMudder Series Finals in2011. The grand prize forwinning this epic event is$10,000 in cash and thebragging rights to call him-self or herself the World’sToughest Mudder.

All of the Tough Muddersponsorship proceeds aregiven to the WoundedWarrior Project, an organi-zation that helps to bringthousands of wounded sol-diers home from the con-flicts of the war.

And to think that somepeople say that mud is onlyfor kids...

■ By Kayla Schorr (‘14) and

Abby Hoffman (‘14)For Eastside

OtherOtherextremeextremeraces forraces forextreme extreme people:people:

Wife Carrying RaceNewry, Maine

Empire RunupNew York, New York

IdiatarodBrooklyn, New York

The OuthouseClassic

Trenary, Michigan

Crashed IceQuebec City, Canada

Tough Mudder art by Danielle Hu(‘11)/ Eastside Art Director

Snowball art by Kevin Cook (‘11)/Eastside Art Director

■ By Sarah Minion (‘12)Eastside Underground Editor

Jack Braunstein (‘13)/ Eastside Underground EditorHarris Levin (‘13) is overwhelmed by the various choices of different chapsticks.

Page 20 EASTSIDE December 2010

Tough Mudder race separates boys from men

Page 20: Eastside: December 2010

Despite the popularimage of a strong, hand-some man whipping outpistols in Las Vegas casi-nos, the truth about spiesis that the best ones areshrouded in secrecy.Spying is about sendinginformation, selling secretsand stealing devices. Spieshave been around since thevery beginning. TheNational Spy Museumin Washington, D.C.has more informationthan one could wanton the subject.

Spies in dis-guise

Spirit gum andfalse moustaches mightbe two of the most in-genious inventions ever cre-ated. Spirit gum is an adhe-sive used to plaster fakemoustaches—among otherthings—to a person’s faceor body. With a little bit ofspirit gum and some fakehair, a spy can transformhim or herself into what-ever he or she needs tobe: a street vendor, asaleslady or a touristlost on an eveningstroll.

Disguise is one ofthe most important parts ofbeing a spy. Spies mustmaintain secrecy; if theyare well-known, then howwill they get around placesunnoticed and unmolested?Disguises allow spies to gowherever they want with-out any unwanted atten-tion. As Alicia Hooks, anemployee at the NationalSpy Museum said,“Probably the most usefulthing they tell you is don’ttrust anything, because allis not what it seems.”

A spy could be the mostordinary of persons; a goodspy would try to be as ordi-nary as possible.

Crack that code

A lot of spying is aboutanalyzing. Mikey Cafarelli,another employee at theMuseum, said, “The coolestthing here is the enig-

m a

cipher—Idon’t know how

they figured it out.”The enigma cipher

was used in WWII by theGermans to send mes-sages. It is a system ofthree rotors in a machine,which, much like theCaeser Shift, substitutesletters with other letters.This made it very difficultto decode the cipher.However, Alan Turing anda group of scientists didmanage to break the codelate into the war. Codeshave been used for as longas spies have been around,from Morse code to the reg-ular cipher to the codesMarie Antoinette used tocommunicate with herlovers.

Spies and the media

The media glamorizesspies. The main desire of aspy is to blend in: they are

the co-worker who bringsthe office coffees; thestranger on the train listen-ing to his iPod; the friendlysaleslady in a departmentstore.And the hallmark of atrue spy is that you willnever know. Therefore,James Bond, in his designersuits and sunglasses—withhis daring escapes and thefires he usually sets beforehe jumps out of 12-storybuildings—does not fit thedescription of a spy. AsCafarelli said, “jet packsaren’t stealthy enough forspies.”

In the same way thatspies influence the media,the media influences realspies. The Aston MartinDB5 in the James Bondmovie Goldfinger (1964)allegedly gave spy organi-zations the idea to put bul-letproof shields, dashboardradars and rotating licenseplates, among other things,into high security vehiclesin dangerous areas.

The world ofespionage is afascinating cul-ture that hasc a p t i v a t e dAmerica for gener-ations.

UNDERGROUNDDecember 2010 EASTSIDE Page 21

In an era of music from the late ‘70s to the‘80s when audiences embraced performance artand flamboyance, David Bowie and Madonnaare cited as icons of their generations. But thelate Klaus Nomi, a New York performance artistwith an inhuman vocal range and an other-worldly fashion sense, was perhaps too avant-garde to achieve the status of becoming a house-hold name. Born in Germany, Nomi moved toNew York and quickly became a highlight of thecity’s new wave scene, concocting his own genreof music which fused cabaret, synth-pop and hisoperatic style of singing.

His elfin face was always meticulously madeup with black lipstick and paint, and his slenderphysique was always donned in a costumestraight from the high-fashion runways ofanother planet. With his signature recedinghairline and bug-like expression, Nomi’sdemeanor was nothing less than bizarre, bring-ing all the art freaks and weirdos to Manhattanclubs like Max’s Kansas City and The MuddClub.

Nomi’s shows were extravagant and theatri-cal; he accumulated a menagerie of fellow per-formance artists, dancers and musicians to be apart of his stage persona, which was enhancedby strobe lights, smoke bombs and other effects.

Nomi began to achieve more mainstreamrecognition after being approached by his idol,David Bowie, at one of his shows at the MuddClub. After chatting for a while after the show,Bowie invited Nomi and one of his comrades tosing back-up for him on an episode of “SaturdayNight Live.” Shortly after, Nomi was signed to

RCA records andreleased his self-titled album in 1981.Unfortunately, itflopped.

It can be arguedthat Nomi’s musicwas too inaccessiblefor the masses. Hisunabashed originali-ty was too strangeand abrasive for thecasual music fan. Attimes, tracks like“The Twist” aredownright eerie, andthe album’s emotionranges from mind-bending to fright-ening to simplylighthearted, like onthe catchy “TotalEclipse.” On everytrack Nomi’s operaticsoprano howls.

Nomi went on torelease the albumSimple Man in 1982,and that was the lastthe world got to seeof such a fascinatingartist. In 1983 he wastragically killed by AIDs at the age of 39, short-ening his career. Before his death, Nomi hadbeen working on an opera called “Za Bakdaz,”which was released posthumously and unfin-ished in 2007.

Nomi’s one-of-a-kind nature lives on today

through the few who had the chance to recognizehis innovation. Modern icon Lady Gaga can beseen wearing lipstick in Nomi’s distinct way inthe music video for “Paparazzi.”

To say that Nomi was ahead of his time is anunderstatement. Klaus Nomi was living in theyear 2100.

Out of the vault, under the radar: Klaus Nomi■ By Riley MacDonald (‘12)

For Eastside

Museum offers window into top-secret world

Too many times has his-tory yielded to a great per-son, a cosmopolite of greatvalor, respect and genius,only to be buried in thecluttered annals of histori-cal archives. But no onetold that to Eugene Debs,and he probably would nothave cared.

Eugene Victor Debs isone of the most notoriouslyunderrecognized historicalbad boys. He was anAmerican statesman,Union leader and prisoninmate who lived his illus-trious life from November5, 1855, to October 20,1926.

Debs started his politi-cal career by being electedto the Indiana GeneralAssembly as a Democrat,but he soon became veryinvolved in Unions and thelabor struggle.

He led the PullmanStrike, one of the mostfamous strikes inAmerican history. What a

guy. He was later jailed forhis role in the strike, andwhile in jail he began toavidly support theSocialist party. During histenure as a labor leader,Debs earned the nickname“King Debs.” Have you everheard anyone refer to“King Lincoln?”

After his jail time, Debsran for President fivetimes. In 1912 he receivedthe most votes of anySocialist candidate forPresident in America of alltime.

During the 1920 elec-tion he managed to receivealmost one million write-invotes... while he was inprison. Debs wasso popular that when hewas released from prisonin 1921, he met PresidentHarding and the presidenttold him, “Well, I’ve heardso... much about you, Mr.Debs, that I am now glad tomeet you personally.”

Before Debs died in1926 he was nominated forthe Nobel Peace Prize, butsomehow did not win.

Eugene Debs: the originaljail-house rock bad boy

Danielle Hu (‘11)/ Eastside Art Director

■ By Eric Kessler (‘12)Eastside Staff

Photos by Juliet Brooks (‘13)/Eastside News/Features Editor

Magnifying glass by Kevin Cook(‘11)/ Eastside Art Director

Danielle Hu (‘11)/ Eastside Art Director

■ By Juliet Brooks (‘13)Eastside News/Features Editor

Page 21: Eastside: December 2010

On Friday, December 8,a New Jersey woman wasescorted out of a CherryHill Toys “R” Us for dis-turbing the peace. JeanRooney, 48, walked into thechildren’s toy store withher two children, Lucie, 10,and Frankie, 12, to buytoys for the holidays.

“She seemed completelynormal walking in withher kids,” said store man-ager Rodrick Fredrickson,52. “They asked me wherethey could find the dolland train section of thestore, to which I directedthem.”

According to the staffand other customers, theredid not seem to be any-thing unusual occurringwithin the store whenRooney and her family

arrived, until customerssaw Rooney on the floorplaying with a Barbie andKen vacation house.

“The woman was justsitting there with the play-house and she was literal-ly talking to herself sayingthat Ken broke Barbie’sheart and she needed tobreak Ken’s part of thevacation house,” saidClaude Moore, 46, a Toys“R” Us employee.

Fredrickson askedRooney to stop playingwith the toys.

“The store policy is thatchildren, or in this caseadults, are not to open orplay with the toys, otherthan the ones on display,”Fredrickson said.

Rooney refused to getup and began screamingthat she did not want togrow up.

“She was lying on the

floor, pounding her fists,saying that she did notwant to grow up and shejust wanted to be a Toys ‘R’Us kid,” said SharolRogers, 36, a customershopping for her son.

Rooney’s children, Lucieand Frankie, waited calm-ly for their mother to stopcrying and said that shejust needed to calm downand would get a time-outlater.

Toys “R” Us securityescorted Rooney and herchildren out of the toystore and were told thatthey were no longer wel-comed at the Cherry HillToys “R” Us.

Rooney said that shedid not want to be a Toys“R” Us kid anymore, butinstead, she wanted to goto Friendly’s, which shesaid, “[is] where ice creammakes the meal.”

On December 14, atCherry Hill East, stu-dents and faculty weresurprised to learn thatthe infamous wrap lineswould be officially goingout of business.

One month ago, Eastrolled out all-new sushicarts in order to decreaseendless wrap-line conges-tion and give studentsmore healthy and diverseculinary options. Instead,it seems that these cartswere too successful andbankrupted the compet-ing wrap lines.

See SUSHI, Pg. 23

Hanging proudly out-side of the locker rooms bythe East Gym, the bulletinboard containing the 2009badminton, volleyball andpickleball champions hasbeen renamed the“Physical Education Hallof Fame.”

Badminton championsHodd Tummel (‘09) andZrian Baun (‘09) will livein infamy as the best bad-minton players in the his-tory of Cherry Hill HighSchool East.

Volleyball “champs” –not champions, accordingto the sign – BattyMogdonoffice (‘11), StefanGrizzlyoli (‘11), EmilyConnectfour (‘11), ‘GorySleaton (‘11) and Zeric Aun(‘11) are the reigningdefenders of the title.

“I don’t even care aboutgetting into the SeniorHall of Fame this year nowthat I know my picture willlast forever,” said Sleaton.

Mogdonoffice agreed:“Having my picture in thisHall of Fame is far superi-or to the actual [Senior]Hall of Fame, because gymis the most importantaspect of high school.”

Pickleball championsSaucy Rilverberg (‘09) andWadam Einer (‘09) havebeen so successful in lightof their fame at East thatthey have continued to

play in college leagues.“It’s nice to know that I

have left a legacy behind,”said Rilverberg, alludingthat he was more proud ofhis pickleball career thanhis tennis career at East.

Einer declined to com-ment, although sources sayhe holds this honor higherthan having the lead in“Aladdin,” the spring musi-cal of his senior year.

Needless to say, thePhysical Education Hall ofFame is here to stay andwill never be updated withwinners before or beyondthe 2009 year.

HUMORPage 22 EASTSIDE December 2010

Local woman kicked out of Toys “R” Usfor playing with toys

Physical EducationHall of Fame

Badminton Champions2009

Hodd Tummel andZrian Baun

Volleyball Champs 2009Batty Mogdonoffice,

Stefan Grizzlyoli, EmilyConnectfour, Gory Sleaton

and Zeric AunPickleball Champions

2009Saucy Rilverberg and

Wadam Einer

Phys Ed bulletin boardremains the same...forever

A replica of the Phys-ical Education Hall ofFame board locatednear the East gym.

Two students have wild-western showdownat the flagpole after school

Last week, two CherryHill East students wereengaged in an old-fash-ioned wild-western stylefight by the flagpole. Thetwo students, John Wallace(‘14) and Steven Hudson(‘14), were in lunch whenthe drama started.

The two have alwaysbeen bitter towards eachother, according to boththeir friends. Apparently,they usually avoid eachother in the halls and dur-ing fourth period lunch.

“[Hudson] was just com-ing back from the wrapline during lunch when heaccidentally collided with[Wallace], who wasn’t look-ing where he was going,”said Hudson’s friend TylerRuttenberg (‘14). “Once[Hudson’s] food spilled allover both of them, theyboth started blaming eachother for what happened.”

Ruttenberg said thatwhen the argument soonescalated into yelling, thewhole cafeteria started

chanting, “Fight! Fight!” tothe point where theyagreed to battle it out atthe flagpole after school.

Campus policemen whogained information on thefight arrived at the flag-pole only minutes after itstarted. According to cam-pus policeman Jim Rogers,38, the scene was some-thing beyond belief.

“Instead of the two stu-dents duking it out withtheir fists, we saw themactually pretend to be cow-boys in the wild-west, lin-ing up while taking threesteps back and drawingtheir fingers in the shapeof guns,” said Rogers.

The fight lasted threewhole minutes before theyboth simultaneously “shot”each other, after which thecampus policemen pro-ceeded to take them downto Grade Level.

Students said they wereboth surprised and con-fused by the events theywitnessed. Some sworethey saw real guns andbullets, while othersclaimed they noticed tum-

bleweed rolling and eeriewild-western, ante-brawlmusic in the backgroundbefore the first draw.

As of now, East staff arecurrently debating how tohandle Wallace andHudson’s punishment andare also questioning theirmental capacities and san-ity as a whole.

Kevin Cook (‘11)/ Eastside Art DirectorEast students battle it out at the East flagpole to the death... or detention.

Football team genetically modifies perfect football player

In order to change up theoffense, Cherry Hill EastCoach Ron Mayer, 45, told

Mark Todd (‘11) andJulius Jefferson (‘12)to convince JeffreyEpstein (‘11) to buildthe squad a new

teammate.“I figured that the

smartest kid ever couldbuild me a footballplayer from scratch,”Mayer said.

Todd andJefferson, mem-

bers of the Eastfootball team,

mercilessly beat up Epstein twoweeks ago.

Epstein, in his hospital bed, usedthe facilities of the building to gen-etically engineer a 6’4” tank-likeathlete named Wesley Willis (‘12).

Epstein said, “Since I used theDNA of Wesley Snipes from BladeRunner and Bruce Willis from DieHard, I called the created personWesley Willis.”

The football team came to the hos-pital to meet Willis, its newest run-ning back.

Todd said, “I really liked Willis. Hemade a good first impression on me.”

With all the positive energy chan-neling through the room, everyonehad good feelings about that week’sgame.

“Willis is built like a truck, but atthe same time, he has a genuinerespect for mankind,” said Jefferson,impressed. “The only real problem

with Willis is that he speaksSpanish.”

That Friday, the team put Willis tothe test during its game againstPennsauken. Coach Mayer was disap-pointed because East was deafeated49-0, even with the team’s newestaddition.

“I really thought our biggest nerdcould do better,” he said.

The football team gave Willisanother try this past Friday againstEastern High School as quarterback.

Eastern ended up winning thegame 56-3, Willis scoring all of East’spoints through the kicking of a fieldgoal.

Translated from Spanish, Willissaid, “I like American football,but soccer is where my heart be-longs.”

East coaches will use the off-sea-son to develop new players for the2011-12 season.

Jean Harrell (‘11)/ Eastside StaffWillis practices for first game.

Caf. Update:wrap lines to goout of business

■ By Sherin Nassar (‘13)Eastside Opinions Editor

■ By Kobi Malamud (‘12)For Eastside

■ By Avra Bossov (‘11)Eastside Editor-in-Chief

■ By Mina Zakhary (‘11)Eastside Staff

■ By Alex Swartz (‘11)For Eastside

Page 22: Eastside: December 2010

CAR FOR SALE, M12 LightReconnaissance Vehicle,lightly used, slight plasmadamage to left rearbumper, headlights inop-erable due to plasma dam-age. Radio only plays onesong. M31 rotary cannonhas been deactivated.Driver and passenger sideseats have large indenta-tions from MJOLNIR MkV combat armor. Stillworks fine! Call 1-856-555-5117.

Brand new silver 2010Maserati Gran Turismofor sale. $500k a mo. for 34yrs. Call 856-555-2213.

HUMORDecember 2010 EASTSIDE Page 23

“One day I was dishingout wraps rapid-fire forthree and a half hours, andthe next day I was sittingthere watching The DarkKnight to pass the time.I’ve never seen anythinglike it. And I’m not talk-ing about Heath Ledger…am I right, guys?” saidwrap line employee KaraMarck, 46, looking to otheremployees for support.

The decision to scrapthe wraps arose after aschool board meeting ofadministrators, teachersand left-wing sushi lobby-ists determined that sushicarts would be healthierand more cost-effective.

“After all the politics, itreally came down to onething: how much yummycan you get for your mon-

ey?” said Assistant Prin-cipal Brandy McCloyster.“And the sushi platters atthe meeting truly spoke forthemselves.”

Students are reacting tothis loss less extremelythan anticipated. One stu-dent, who requested anon-ymity due to his spewingsushi fragments ontoEditor-in-Chief, LaurenBlaine (‘11) as he spoke,said, “Sushi is like angelicmusic to my taste buds.”

When asked if he wouldmiss the wrap lines, thestudent replied, “Therewas a wrap line?”

Administration declinedto comment on a rumoredlunch lady showdown atthe flagpole, immedi-ately following the wild-western scheduled show-down.

Continued from pg. 22

108 Rishpeephole Rd.Cherry Hill, NJ 08034

48 bdrms, 50.5 br, 3inground pools, completemovie theatre, annoyingteenagers with theatreincluded. For sale!Starting at only $30 Mil.Call 856-555-3324 toschedule appointmentnow.

CONGRESSIONAL SEATFOR SALE! Recentlyvacated, district not tooimportant, all the perkswith none of the responsi-bilities, secretary will han-dle everything. The publicwill not know anythingabout this sale. Trust us.Call 1-555-555-5052.

WANTED:Counseling. Recently dis-covered my greatest enemyis my dad after he cut offmy hand. Claims we canrule the galaxy together asfather and son. I amunsure what to do now.Call 235-555-2224 to help.

Help!Help!Help!Help! I need somebody.Help!Help!Help!Help! Not just anybody.You know I need some-one, helphelphelphelp….

Extremely lonely female,age 56, looking for male-companion. Divorced, 9kids, terrible financial sit-uation, loves long walkson the beach and getting apiggy-back ride the wholeway back, is stalked dailyby her escape convict ex-husband, is allergic tocroutons.

For sale: two story house,colonial-style. Almost nowear nor tear, lightly used,two acres of land, evil lab-oratory in the basement,has never seen a pet orsmoker. Call 1-856-555-2223.

Roomate wanted:has deathly high-pitchedvoice, tone-deaf, memberof the cheerleading squad,owns annoyingly smallchihuahua ironicallynamed “Fluffy” that barksat everything physicallypossible, has an over-whelming collection ofpink things, incrediblyhypocritical about behav-ior around men, usesinternet slang in everydayconversation, obsessesover celebrities who aren’taware of her existence.

Call: 555-555-5551

Call now to get your ownEastside classified!1-800-EASTSIDEHUMORCLASSI-

FIEDS-000001

Engaged man seeksgood friend, mediumheight, love sweaters, his-tory and Doctor Who, look-ing for a tall dark andhandsome guy to sweepme off my feet. If a historyteacher at the same schoolas me with a snarky senseof humor, so much the bet-ter. If interested, contact609-555-1800.

Pre-ownedPre-ownedPre-owned 1970 1970 1970Pre-owned 1970VVVVolkswagenolkswagenolkswagen Station Station Stationolkswagen StationWWWWagonagonagon f f fagon fororor sale sale saleor sale....$4 a mo. for 2 mo., doorsfalling off, ridiculous gasguzzler, turns away allloved ones and any type offemale specimen, has amysterious stench inside,exterior paint peeling,back windows smashed,gas nozzle gets stuck whentrying to open, no AC orheat, radio plays onlywhite noise, doors often donot open. Call now: 984-555-1872.

YARD SALE! Everythingfive dollars or less, itemsin sale most likely terri-bly abused and outdated.For directions call: 856-555-7431 EVERYTHINGMUST GO!

Square dancing classesevery Monday at 180Yeehaw Drive, CherryHill, NJ 08003. Bring apartner and a cowboyhat! $10 per couple.

LostLostLost dignity dignity dignityLost dignity.... Last seen atfrat party. If found, call282-555-1033.

Babysitter wanted: previ-ous sitter proved to beincompetent and cruel,causing our child to relyon magical beings for careand happiness. Urgent.Call 1-423-555-4789.

nskakcn

Hap

py

Stars Gymnastics Academy

Whereyou canlive yourlife-long

dreams through your children! Lessonsstarting at $5k every month, even

though it will most likely goto waste since gymnas-

tics has no real-lifeapplications unless you

are going to theOlympics.

1-800-HAPPYSTARS

SINGLE WOMAN SEEKS GOODMAN, must be tall, pale,have a dark and troubledpast, be willing to goagainst societal norms todate her, sparkles in directsunlight, possibly a vam-pire, undecided about thatlast part. If interested con-tact 856-555-3001.

WANTED:Human male, around theage of 25, to serve as agenetic template for acloned military force. Mustbe in excellent physicalcondition, have no aver-sion to having geneticsamples taken and alteredto ensure compliant troopsor ethically questionablemethods with products. Ifinterested, please [email protected].

Hitman wanted!Reasonable fees, easy tar-gets, will be helping socie-ty in the process. Marksare the individuals knownby the aliases “Snooki,” “J-Woww,” “Vinny,” “TheSituation,” “Angelina,”“Ronny,” “Sammi” and“Pauly D.” Rewards are$200 for every mark deliv-ered alive, $1,000 for evi-dence of a mark’s demise.Footage on MTV’s “JerseyShore” does not count asevidence. Call 1-888-222-7821.

WWWWanted:anted:anted:anted: a car, or someother type of “steel horse”on which to ride. Note thatI am a modern-day cattlerancher and possess awarrant on my head,which specifies that myreturn to my captors canbe performed with me ineither a living or deceasedcondition. Call: 888-555-9090.

365 Beeware RoadCinnamon Sun, NJ

One-floor apt. 2 bdrm, 1br, previously owned byfive college students, holesin the walls and floors,extremely cramped space,uncleanable scum cover-ing bathroom, stove andmicrowave do not work, allfurniture stolen, refrigera-tor needs repair, mailboxneeds to be replaced. Ifinterested call 717-555-7410.

Here at YE OLD PHOTOTIME, we supply thebest, and most embarrassing, pictures for

your holiday photos, advertisements, friends’birthdays and bat/bar mitzvahs!

Come dress up like old-time bartenders,french maids, drunken cowboys, flapper

girls, respectable rich men with top hatsand more drunken cowboys!

YE OLD PHOTOTIME

Salesman needed:mediocre pay, workingschedule very unreliable,will be forced to sell themost ridiculous things wecan think of, will betrained for perserverance,annoyance and enthusi-asm, facial expressionsmust be overly exaggerat-ed, will be taught to talklike on infomercial. Jobrequirements: multipleboring gray suits andfancy ties, a megaphone,an extremely annoyingvoice, clipboard and pen.Interested? Call: 1-800-555-8987.

NJ CHEERIOS PRO-CRICK-ET team holding tryoutsJanuary 8 at 76 BloodyAvenue Voorhees, NJ.08003. Must be British.

Pizza Maker needed:good pay, cooking skillsrequired, must be rotundwith a white cookingapron and a white chef ’shat for show, must haveheavy Italian accent,always loud and joyful,must have a big familythat is also willing to workfor the company, will betrained to yell in Italianand make profound ges-tures whenever somethinggoes wrong, If interested,please call 1-856-555-9965or email [email protected] for info.

Babysitter needed:four children, ages 1, 3, 6,8, need someone who canwork Monday throughFriday and probably thewhole weekend too.Children are loud andmessy, very high-mainte-nance, hourly diaperchanging for all four chil-dren... yes, all four. Lovepudding and candy, givethem a lot of candy, mustbe under tight watch at alltimes. When not runningaround like wild animals,they are usually cryingand screaming. Pay isnegotiated. Call: 945-555-3126 if interested.

Classifieds assembled by Gina Villecco (‘11) and Jake Trommer(‘11)/ Eastside Humor Editors

110.9 FM radio The station that overplays all

the songs you can’t stand!

ClassifiedsThe following requests have been collected from NJ residents over the course of the

past month; please note that all requests are also FICTIONAL.REAL ESTATE ACTIVITIES PERSONAL

SERVICES

AUTO

Wrap line loses all business to sushi carts

Page 23: Eastside: December 2010

SPORTSDecember 2010 EASTSIDE Page 24

Boys’ Basketball

Head Coach: Mr. John ValoreLast Season’s Record: 19-8Captains: Chris Santo (‘11), Sam Rose (‘11)Key Players: Santo, Rose, Jake Gurkin(‘12), Marc Schlessel (‘12), Dan Melleby (‘11)Justin DeJesus (‘11), Jesse Gold (‘12), IdoZaken (‘11), Alex Kauth (‘11)Head Coach’s Quote: “Our goal is to winas many games as possible so we can have ahome playoff seed and possibly contend forthe division title and more.”

Girls’ Basketball

Head Coach: Ms. Kim KeyackLast Season’s Record: 15-8Key Players: Marie Boisvert(‘11), Brittany Muniz (‘11)Head Coach’s Quote: “Welost three starters from lastyear, but with our eight sen-iors, we should win our confer-ence this year.”

Boys’ Bowling

Head Coach: Mr. Michael HischakLast Season’s Record: 52-24Key Players: Aaron Wolf (‘13),Zach Propp (‘12), Isaac Jun (‘11)Head Coach’s Quote: “We returnfive or six main bowlers, so weshould be pretty competitive.”

Boys’ Swimming

Head Coach: Mr. Joseph CucinottiLast Season’s Record: 13-3Captains: Wesley Ho (‘11), Mike Krohn(‘11), Chris Sardone (‘11)Key Players: Eric Anderson (‘12), AlexDintino (‘12), Dan Hagedorny (‘12),Ethan Sclarsky (‘12), Dave Shull (‘12),Austin Weitz (‘12), Joey Andalora (‘13),Gianni De Francesco (‘13), Zach Lang(‘13), Zach Mellenger (‘13), JosephPetrone (‘13), Mike Simunek (‘13) Head Coach’s Quote: “We expect torepeat as Sectional Champions and swimfor a state championship at the end ofFebruary.”

Girls’ Swimming

Head Coach: Ms. Anita Ricci andMr. Keith KovalevichLast Season’s Record: 9-4Captains: Kathleen Petrone (‘11),Samantha Sides (‘11)Key Players: Sides, MarleeEhrlich (‘12), Jamie Lynn Brook-over (‘13), Michelle Faykes (‘13),Colleen Finias (‘13)Head Coach (Ricci)’s Quote: “Wehave a lot of swimmers trying outfor the team, so we are looking to bevery competitive, have more girlsqualify for states than last yearand win the Central Jersey Final.”

Wrestling

Head Coach: Mr. Michael BrownKey Players: Brian Lussier (‘11),Travis Boardman (‘11), Tom Appleman(‘11), Kevin Swenson (‘12), ErdongChen (‘11), Dan Bendik (‘13)Head Coach’s Quote: “We expect tohave a stong team and expect toimprove on our eight wins a year ago.With a very experienced team, we setour goal very high and would like tobring back the winning tradition veryquickly.”

Girls’ Bowling

Head Coach: Mr. Michael HischakLast Season’s Record: 42-33-1 Captain: Christine Gordon (‘11)Key Player: Melissa Pliskin (‘13)Head Coach’s Quote: “We have somereally good individuals that expect to com-pete for state championships this year.”

WinterSports Overview

CorrectionThe November issue identi-fied Lauren Minkoff (‘11) asthe only All-Conference girls’soccer player; however, KaityHartkopf (‘11) and RachelSindoni (‘11) also made theAll-Conference team. Minkoffwent on to make the All-South Jersey team as well.Also, the girls’ soccer teamfinished with a record of 8-10instead of 6-10-2 as stated inthe issue.

Centerpiece art by Kevin Cook (‘11)/Eastside Art Director

All photos by Becca Mulberg (‘12)/Eastside Video Editor

Information compiled byJake Fischer (‘12)/Eastside Online SportsEditor

Boys’BowlerAaron Wolf(‘13)

Girls’ BowlerChristine Gordon (‘11)

Boys’ Swimmer and reigning EastsideAthlete of the Year Joe Petrone (‘13)

Girls’ Basketball PlayerMarie Boisvert (‘11)

Boys’ Basketball PlayerSam Rose (‘11)

Girls’ SwimmerMarlee Ehrlich (‘12)

Winter Track

Head Coach: Mr. Matt CieslikCaptain: Mike Oliver (‘11)Key Players: Entire shuttle-hurdlerelay team: Isaiah Campbell (‘11),Marcus Phillips (‘12), OzzieMcIntosh (‘11), Taj Frazier (‘12)Assistant Coach (Mr. MichaelSurrency)’s Quote: “We want tocompete for the sectional and statechampionship for Group Four. Andwe will be competing for it.”