Confident Communication

What is communication?Communication is the sharing of feelings,

thoughts, and information with another person. Communication involves skill in

speaking, listening, and observing.

“You Messages”A “you-message” blames or shames another

person. It is negative in nature and is typically not very well received. It may cause the other person to become defensive.

I-MessagesAn “I-Message” is a statement that contains:

1. A specific behavior or event

2. The effect that the behavior or event has on the individual

3. And the feeling that results

Active ListeningActive listening is a type of listening in which a

person lets others know that (s)he understood what was said. You can use four ways to show that you have listened carefully:

1. Ask for more information.2. Paraphrase what the other person said.3. Summarize the main idea or ideas expressed.4. Acknowledge the feelings that the person

expressed and thank the person for sharing his or her feelings.

Nonverbal BehaviorNonverbal behavior is the use of actions

rather than words to express thoughts and feelings. Examples include smiling, frowning, yawning, crying, laughing, tapping your foot, crossing your arms, or dozens of other behaviors.

Mixed MessagesA mixed message is a message that

conveys two different meanings. A mixed message can be sent when:

• Your words and tone of voice convey two different meanings, or

• Your words and actions convey two different meanings

Telephone Tips• Ask your parents/guardian before you

make that long-distance or toll call.

• Be certain that your friends know your family’s phone guidelines. Likewise, know theirs.

• Respect other family members’ rights to use the phone. Limit the time you spend on the phone.

Phone Tips (cont.)• Answer the phone and speak to people in

a polite way.

• Keep a notepad and pen by the phone to write down messages.

• Keep a list of emergency numbers by the phone.

• Do not give out any personal information over the phone!

Phone Tips (cont.)• Do not make prank calls!• Do not hang up without speaking if you

dial the wrong number- just explain…• Do not give out too much information on

your home answering machine.• Think before speaking when leaving

recorded messages for others… Keep your messages short, and avoid “personal” messages which may be heard by others!

Written CommunicationWriting is an important way to express your

ideas, thoughts, and feelings. As opposed to speaking, when writing you can take your time, choose your words more carefully, and give serious thought as to what you want to say. We should remember that writing is a skill- one that is developed and improved with lots of practice!

Tips For Written Communication

1. Use correct grammar & spelling.

2. Try using new vocabulary words to express yourself.

3. Keep a dictionary & thesaurus handy.

4. Use spell check if available.

5. Use appropriate greetings & closings.

6. Have someone proof-read (if business- related) .