Choosing to Parent

Chapter 10

UNDERSTANDING PARENTING

10:1

• A parent is anyone who is biologically

or legally a father or a mother

– Once you become a parent you will

always be a parent, even if you do not

fulfill the parenting role

The Parenting Role

• Parenting means using skills to care

for and raise a child to adulthood

Deciding Whether to Become a Parent

• What are your goals and what do you

want to accomplish?

• What is your relationship as a couple

like?

• How do you relate to children?

Reason for Not Parenting

• Some couple do not want to commit

themselves to raising a child

• The world today

• Delay Parenting until their goals are

met

• Health of Parents

The Age of the Mother

• The safest years for childbearing for

women is the ages between 20-35

• The risk of complications increases

outside these ages

• Teenager is twice as likely to

miscarry

The Age of the Mother• Anemia is a condition of weakness and

fatigue caused by an iron-deficient diet

• Preeclampsia (toxemia or pregnancy-

induced hypertension) includes swelling

and high blood pressure

• Placenta abruption is the separation of the

growing baby from the wall of the

mother’s uterus

The Age of the Mother

• Teen Mother

– Often have low-birthweight and premature

babies

– Birth injures

– Mental retardation

– Risk of illness and death within the first

year of the baby’s life

Parenting in the Teen Years

• Most teens are not ready to face the

emotional, social, and financial

problems involved

• Limits social life

• Not completing education or making

career plans

Reasons for Parenting

• Healthy Reason

– A way to pass on a part of themselves to

the future

– Personal experiences of having children

Reasons for Parenting

• Unhealthy Reasons

– Having children brings prestige

– Pressures from friends and family

– Show physical competence (show they are adults)

– Means of gaining personal power

– To gain love

– Improve your marriage

Having Realistic Expectations • If parents have unrealistic

expectations, they can hinder the

child’s development

• Preparing for parenthood can help

married couples develop realistic

expectations for parent-child

relationships.

QUALITIES NEEDED BY PARENTS

10:2

Being Emotionally Mature

• Children respond to the parent’s

emotions

• Emotional maturity helps parents

identify their own emotions

• Helps parents control strong

emotions

Giving Unconditional Love

• Unconditional love is the ability to love another

under any circumstance

– They are loved for who they are

– They do not have to preform or pretend to get love

• When children experience unconditional love,

they are able to accept themselves as being

loveable

Being Flexible

• Parent-child relationships will change

throughout the life cycle

Being Responsible

• Responsible parenting means making

choices that will help a child develop

fully in all areas of life

Responsible parents need to Provide

1. Mature role models

2. A nurturing environment

3. A secure environment

4. A stimulating environment

Being Ready for Children to Change Your Life

• Children can give parents satisfaction

• Children help parents mature

• Children help parents recognize their human

weaknesses

• Children can help parents enjoy family leisure

time

• Children can give parents hope for the future

PARENTING ISSUES10:3

Preparing for Children

• Considering child care

• Planning for Financial Changes

• Preparing for Lifestyle Changes

Infertility

• Infertility is defined as a couple’s

inability to conceive a child or carry a

child to full term

– After a year or more

Causes of Infertility • For men

– Low sperm count

– Blockage in one of the tubes that carry the sperm

• For women

– Hormonal factors

– Blocked fallopian tubes

– Endometriosis – uterine tissue grow outside the uterus

• Other Factors

– Exposure to radiation or toxic chemicals, smoking

tobacco or marijuana and STDs

Treatment for Infertility

• Medications and hormones can

stimulate or improve ovulation

• Surgical therapies can open

blockages

• Artificial insemination

Treatment for Infertility

• Assisted reproductive technology

(ART)

• In Vitro Fertilization

• Surrogate mother

Adoption

• Many people seek to fulfill their

dream for children through adoption

Rights of Birthparents

• Birthparents must consent to the adoption

• Parental rights can be ended due to

abandonment (usually not contact for a

year) or unfit

• Cost of prenatal care and delivery are

usually passed on to the adopting parents

Agency Adoptions

• Most adoptions are arranged through

adoption agencies are called agency

adoptions

• Adoption agencies are licensed by the state

• Independent adoptions are arranged

privately

• Baby selling is illegal

Types of Adoption

• Open adoption- the birthparents may

select and meet the adoptive parents

and the child will have information on

birthparents

• Closed adoption- the child does not

know the identity of the birthparents

Steps in Adoption

1. A couple contacts an adoption agency

2. The agency conducts a thorough screening

3. The agency conducts a home study

4. The agency worker meets with potential

parents to discuss possible children

5. Potential parents get acquainted with the

child

6. The adoption becomes legal in court

Cost of Adoption

• May be asked to cover expense

incurred by the birthmother

• Some agency may charge a set fee

• The cost could be between $10,000-

$30,000

• Single-Parent Adoption

• International Adoption