Choice v9n1 Issue 0411mLmY

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BURNING CONVERSAT IONS • GHOST ROLES • BAGGAGE • CONFERENCE HIGHLIGHTS

GroupsThat ThriveSecrets to a successful group coaching experience

DevelopingAspiringLeaders

Strength InNumbers

Group CoachingAcrossGenerations

VOLUME 9 • NUMBER 1

MARCH 2011

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Magazine,www.choice-online.com

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choice magazineVOLUME 9 NUMBER 1

cover story

26

columnsentrepreneur coach 21

Burning ConversationsTurn more potential clients into

paying clients with powerful and

provocative questions

by Michel Neray

tech tools 23Dial Tone

Your phone system: your business

backbone

by Gary Glasscock

perspective 41Baggage

We’ve all got it, and we all need it

by Deborah Grayson Riegel

corporate leadership 43Who’s Haunting You?

Ghost roles in team coaching

interventions

by Alfred DePew 41

Strength in NumbersCreating thriving coaching groups

by Ginger Cockerham

31 Groups That ThriveEssential ingredients for success

by Jennifer Britton

33 Group CoachingThe growing application for developing aspiring leaders

by D.J. Mitsch

36 Bridging The GapGroup coaching across generations

by Judy Feld

43

21

3VOLUME 9 NUMBER 1

17 international eye The Universal CoachUnleashing cross-cultural

potential

by Elisabeth Balcarczyk

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4

VOLUME 9 NUMBER 1

VOLUME 9 NUMBER 1

PUBLISHER

Garry T. Schleifer, PCC

MANAGING EDITOR

Janet Lees

ART DIRECTOR

Michele Singh

EDITORIAL BOARD

Carol AdrienneTeri-E BelfLaura Berman FortgangRich FettkeDebbie FordC.J. HaydenDorcas KelleyPamela RichardePhil SandahlIyanla Vanzant

BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT

DIRECTOR

Garry T. Schleifer

PUBLISHING

AND BUSINESS COACH

Brad Stauffer

OPERATIONS AND

CUSTOMER SERVICE MANAGER

Monica Lambert, CPC

CUSTOMER SERVICE

Amber Duffield

CIRCULATION DIRECTOR

Joan Braunstein

PRODUCTION MANAGER

Joleen O'Brien

PROOFREADER

Ally Gaynor

WEBMASTER

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The views presented in this magazine are not nec-essarily those of choice Magazine Inc. Copyright©2011.All rights reserved. Reproduction in wholeor in part without written permission is prohibited.

Printed in the USA • March 2011 Issue.

choice (ISSN 1708-6116) is published quarterlyfor $39.95 US per year by choice Magazine Inc.,2285 Lakeshore Blvd. West, Suite 807, Toronto,ON, Canada M8V 3X9. Application to mail at Periodical Postage Rates is pending at Los Ange-les, CA and at additional mailing offices.

POSTMASTER: Send address changes to:

choice, PO Box 942, Bodfish, CA 93205

upfront

5 choice thoughts

6 feedback

8 contributors

11 choice booksLeading The TribeInspiring groups of people through

leadership, communication and

empowerment

by Kat Knecht

12 coaching toolsProducts Reviewed:• Personal Leadership Cards

• The RiskADay Journal

• Leadership Metaphor Explorer

• Write Your Way to More Clients Online

• thinkpal™ app

by Marcy Nelson-Garrison

15 sticky situationsIssue:“How can I ensure group

sessions are fair to all?”by Carol Adrienne, Craig Carr & Victoria Trabosh

45 industry news Party Like It’s 1995ICF Annual International

Conference

by Ed Modell

50 final sayThe White MercedesPaying attention to Law

of Attraction cues

by Kevin Young

12departments

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13

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Achoice thoughts

From The Publisher

5VOLUME 9 NUMBER 1

As a fellow coachwho does both one-on-oneand group coaching, I amthrilled we are able to bringyou this issue. Personally myexperience providing groupcoaching is that you hearand see the differencecoaching makes a lot soonerthan with most one-on-onecoaching. Financially it canalso be a win-win for bothclients and coach.

We are thankful that wewere able to engage such ahigh caliber of coaches towrite for this issue. Whenyou read these excellent arti-cles you will see the differ-ent ways group coaching canbe a successful business toolas well as a means of provid-

ing effective and impactfulcoaching.

After all, supporting thesuccess of coaches is a man-date and commitment ofchoice Magazine, along withmonitoring and enhancingthe effectiveness and impactof coaching. Group coachingis a theme that covers allthese aspects.

With these ongoing objec-tives in mind I continue tomake calls to subscribers togarner feedback, ask aboutfuture themes and identifypossible writers. My heart-felt thanks to all of you whohave connected with meover the past six months.Your feedback and supportare vital to us as we set the

course and direction ofchoice Magazine to meet yourneeds well into the future.

You will be seeing andhearing more of choice Maga-zine this year as we continueto bring you authoritativeprint content, expert seriesemails and tele-calls – all inservice of your success. Wewill also have a presence atthe CAM (ConversationAmong Masters) in May,PCAM (Professional Coach-es Association of Michigan)and of course the ICF(International Coach Feder-ation) Conference in Sep-tember, to name but a few.

Details about these eventscan be found on our websiteat www.choice-online.com

and also in this issue in the“Save These Dates” calendaron page 49 (note theexpanded and enhanced for-mat of the calendar).

Here’s to your success andto making a difference!

Garry Schleifer, PCC, CMC

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choice thoughts

AAs a long-time client of coach-ing services, I have participated inboth one-on-one and group coachingsessions over the years. While one-on-one coaching is more intimate,personal and tailored to individualneeds, I have found that group coach-ing can be just as rewarding, provid-ing an opportunity to learn and growin ways that a one-on-one approachdoesn’t offer. The group dynamicsalone can at times lead to break-throughs, and there is no questionthat sharing with a group and hearingothers share their experiences addanother dimension to the coachingexperience. However, I have also par-ticipated in groups that were not sosuccessful, and must have been frus-trating and challenging for the coach.

In this issue of choice Magazine, weuncover the secrets to a successfulgroup coaching experience for boththe coach and the clients. In the firstof our feature articles, Ginger Cock-erham explains the differencebetween team coaching and groupcoaching, and reveals how to createthriving coaching groups in a profes-sional environment. Next up, Jen-nifer Britton explores the ingredientsfor success in creating groups thatthrive. DJ Mitsch looks at the advan-tages and disadvantages of groupcoaching in developing aspiring lead-

ers, asking the question, “to group, ornot to group?” And rounding out ourfeature section, Judy Feld looks athow coaches can bridge the gap inmulti-generational groups and pro-vide a group coaching experience thatfully supports each member.

Also on the topic of group coach-ing, be sure to check out our “stickysituations” column in this issue foradvice from our three expert coacheson how to ensure everyone is being“heard” in group sessions (I can hon-estly say that as a client, the issue ofone person “hogging” the session isthe single biggest factor in whether Ihave a positive or negative groupcoaching experience).

The learnings don’t stop there. Besure to read the entire issue for tips,tools and take-homes on how to be abetter, more successful coach. •

Janet Lees, B.Journ.Managing Editor

From The Managing Editor

SEND YOUR FEEDBACK TO: [email protected]

WE’D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU!

choice feedbackIn your article, “Coaching In Turkey,” in the December 2010 issue, thewriter neglected to include Success Unlimited Network®in the list of ICF-accreditedtraining programs. We have an ICF-accredited ACTP coach training and certifica-tion program and are in the coach training business in Turkey. I appreciate theuseful information choice offers for our students world-wide. Thank you.

TEri-E Belf, MCCReston, Virginia, USA

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8 VOLUME 9 NUMBER 1

DepartmentsCarol Adrienne, PhD, is an internationally-knownauthor, intuitive counselor and life coach whosebooks have been translated into over 15 languages.As a master numerologist, workshop leader and lifecoach, she has helped thousands of people eliminatenegative patterns, providing them with life-long toolsfor creating the life they want to [email protected] •www.caroladrienne.com

Craig Carr, PCC, CPCC, has been a therapist, a Doc-tor of Chinese Medicine, and a senior faculty memberwith the Coaches Training Institute. He has co-writtentwo programs for coaches and coaching clients, Life

Lives Through You – Revealing the Code of Personal

Change, and Danger, Sex, Magic – Living Beyond the

Forbidden and Taboo, both delivered through his com-pany, Soul-Force, Inc. Although his practice and facili-tation varies widely, his current interest is withentrepreneurs, investors and executives rebounding inthe current economy and in the process of rebuildingtheir life’s [email protected]

www.soulforceinc.com

Anita Greenberg runs her practice in Toronto and isQuality of Life Therapy and Coaching (QOLTC) certifiedas well as being a member of the Board of Directorsof the [email protected]

www.positivecoachingforchange.com

Kat Knecht, PCC, is a love, dating and relationshipcoach who teaches and coaches using her unique Art

and Science of Romance course. She is also a leaderfor the Coaches Training Institute’s certification pro-gram. Along with her husband Curtis she is the co-owner of The Relationship Coaching [email protected]

www.relationshipcoaching.com

Marcy Nelson-Garrison, MA, LP, CPCC, is a productmentor and founder of www.coachingtoys.com, anonline store featuring creative toys and tools for per-sonal development. As a veteran traveler in the landof products, Marcy helps coaches, counselors andconsultants leverage their own creativity for greaterimpact and profit. Her products include: Q? Basics,

Open-Ended Questions for Coaching Mastery; The

ProductPlanner and the Passion to Product homestudy [email protected]

www.ProductMentorCoaching.com

Dan Leask, BSC, MBA, is a career strategy coach andfounder of Emerald Compass LLC. His primary focus iscoaching business professionals, working to transformtheir careers. He completed his coaching training fromCoach University and is in process of submitting hisACC accreditation. Dan is an active member of theICF Chapter of the Professional Coaches Associationof Michigan and is serving on the 2011 Board forPCAM. He was the 2010 PCAM onference [email protected]

Victoria Trabosh, CDC®, is an international speaker,trainer and facilitator with 30 years of large corporateand start-up business experience, in addition tocoaching top executives worldwide. As president ofthe Itafari Foundation, a foundation to empower thepeople of Rwanda to rebuild their country, she workstirelessly in helping all people become their personalbest so that they can change the [email protected]

www.victoriatrabosh.com

Ed Modell, PCC, is a certified executive and lifecoach specializing in working with government, smallbusinesses and nonprofit executives and professionalservice providers. He has held a number of roles withthe ICF, including 2010 global ICF president-elect,past president of the Metro DC Chapter of ICF, chair ofthe global ICF Regulatory Committee for two yearsand co-founder of the ICF Conflict Coaching SIG. Priorto coaching, Modell practiced law for over 28 years atseveral major law firms in Washington, DC., specializ-ing in civil litigation of large, complex [email protected]

www.coachfederation.org

Kevin Young, BSET, is a partner Personal Success Pro-grams located in Novi, Michigan, a company specializ-ing in self-empowerment workshops, coaching andspeaking engagements. His roles include workshopdesigner and leader, personal coach, writer, socialmedia guru and head geek. He has been activelystudying coaching for several years and is currentlyworking on his coaching [email protected]

www.personalsuccessprograms.com

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9VOLUME 9 NUMBER 1

Columns FeaturesElisabeth Balcarczyk, MA, CPCC, CYT, is an AuthenticCommunication & Leadership Coach working with individ-uals and organizations internationally. As founder of BodyMind Soul Coaching, she integrates her vast experienceon holistic leadership in the form of coaching programs,workshops and books. She is contributing author of The

Gratitude Project: Celebrating 365 Days of [email protected]

www.BodyMindSoulCoaching.weebly.com

Alfred DePew, MA, PCC, ORSCC, serves on the faculty ofCRR Global, where he teaches Organization and Rela-tionship Systems Coaching. As principal of Alfred DePew& Co, he trains leaders and their organizations in conflictresolution and change management. He brings to hiscoaching a wide variety of skills from his experience as asocial worker, business consultant and college professor.DePew has offered leadership and creativity workshopsthroughout the US and Canada.www.crrglobal.com

Garry Glasscock, BS,AS, BCTC, is a Certified TechnologyCoach with 26 years of cross platform computer experi-ence and 17 years of Internet experience. Gary’s ability toexplain technical topics in layman’s terms is a great bene-fit to his clients as they more readily understand and areable to utilize the information he is sharing. Despite hisvast knowledge, Gary’s not your usual tech guy, and hisapproach is very real-world and easy to understand. Hespecializes in building websites using WordPress as wellas maintaining [email protected]

www.TheWordPressWebmaster.com

Deborah Grayson Riegel, MSW, ACC, is the presidentof Elevated Training, Inc., and My Jewish Coach.com.She is also the co-founder of ReadyToRollOut.com,which provides budget-friendly, customizable work-books for coaches, speakers and trainers who want towork less to create their own programs. A conferencespeaker for ASTD and for Training Magazine, she wasawarded membership into the National SpeakersAssociation, and is a credentialed member of the [email protected] •www.ReadytoRollOut.com

Michel Neray, BSc, MBA, is chief differentiation officerof The Essential Message®, which helps companies andindividuals discover their true differentiation and com-municate it in the most compelling way. Michel alsoworks with companies who are looking for greateremployee motivation, engagement, teamwork andresilience. Michel certifies consultants, copywriters andcoaches in many different specialties in the EssentialMessage approach. There are now more than 16 certifiedEssential Message ‘consoachants’ in six countries.www.essentialmessage.com

Jennifer Britton, BSc, MES, PCC, CPCC, CPT, CHRP,author of Effective Group Coaching (John Wiley andSons, 2010), weaves together her 20-plus years experi-ence as an experiential educator, group facilitator andcoach. In April 2004, Jennifer founded Potentials Real-ized, a Canadian-based performance improvement com-pany, and works with corporate and public clients in theareas of leadership, business development and team-work. Jennifer supports coaches through her GroupCoaching Essentials program (an ICF accredited CCEprogram), the Group Coaching Intensive, and the 90 DayBizSuccess program. Since 2005 she has been the hostof the Group Coaching Ins and Outs blog.http://groupcoaching.blogspot.com

Ginger Cockerham, MCC, is a business coach with aninternational group coaching business that includesexecutives and professionals in the financial, legal andservice industries. She is on the faulty at the Universityof Texas Dallas and Coach University, and teaches groupcoaching at Columbia University and Coachville.Ginger is the author of a new book, Group Coaching- A

Comprehensive Blueprint, and Magnificent Masters in

Financial Services. Her CD series, Creating, Collecting

and Coaching Groups, is a best [email protected] •www.coachginger.com

Judy Feld,MCC, MS, MAS, CMC, is an executive coachwith a strong corporate background and worldwide repu-tation. She was co-founder and is Associate Director ofthe award-winning Executive and Professional CoachingProgram at the University of Texas at Dallas. She is afounding coach for UTD's Executive MBA Program and apioneer in the development of group coaching and men-tor coaching. Judy publishes an E-newsletter, CoachNet

Strategy Letter, is author of SmartMatch Alliances andcreator of workshops on “Coaching in the Four-Genera-tion Workplace.”[email protected] • www.CoachNet.com

Darelyn “DJ” Mitsch, CMC, MCC, is president of ThePyramid Resource Group, the Corporate Coaching Compa-ny, where a team of coaches works with leaders of leadersand their teams in large international companies. Her newcoaching kit, Team Advantage, the complete coaching

guide for team transformation, (Pfeiffer/Wiley 2010) is adetailed outline for coaching teams through an accelerat-ed process to achieve extraordinary results. DJ hasdesigned group and team coaching initiatives for largeinternational companies, fostering a culture of coachingas a means to drive conscious conversations and leader-ship [email protected]

www.pyramidresource.com

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choice booksBy Kat Knecht, PCC

The theme of this choice issue,group coaching, is one that isdear to my heart. This past

year I have made group coachingone of my primary offerings, so Iintend to read this issue from coverto cover! As interested as I am in thesubject, I realized I did not have asingle book that seemed appropriateto review. When I did an Internetsearch I only found one book thatwas specifically about group coach-ing, which is one that has alreadybeen reviewed in this magazine.

I found a few ebooks and articlesand I encourage you to do your ownsearch if you are hungry for moreafter reading this issue. Whatoccurred to me, though, as Isearched, is that group coachingcalls for leadership. With that inmind I chose the book Tribes writtenby Seth Godin.

Godin is convinced that this is theperfect time for “regular people” tostep up to their own leadership call-ing, and this book is short, sweetand packed with brilliant ideas andlaser stories to make his pointsabout being a leader.

In the opening paragraph theauthor describes a tribe as “A groupof people connected to one another,connected to a leader, and connect-ed to an idea.” He goes on to revealthe key to creating a successfultribe: Leadership combined with apassionate belief in the idea, great

communication channels in all direc-tions and a mission to achieve. Wehumans need and love tribes, andthe Internet gives us the tools withwhich one person can inspire andimpact many.

Although the stories in this bookare about movements that spread amessage and grow a tribe, Godin’stake on leadership is a bit differentthan most. In one passage hedescribes it this way: “Skill and Atti-tude are key, authority is not; in factauthority can get in the way.

“There is a difference betweentelling people what to do and incitinga movement; a movement happenswhen peer support leads people towhat they always knew was the rightthing.” Great leaders create move-ments by empowering the tribe tocommunicate.

Godin intertwines advice andinspiring stories about marketing andthe current marketplace environmentwith insight on what makes a goodleader. One chapter with a focus onmarketing asks, “How many fans doyou have?” and notes that it is notabout the quantity of fans but ratherthe loyalty of those whom we servethat can make or break a business.

The book touches on the benefitsof the current social networkingsites. That of course is nothing new.However, the perspective Godintakes is to look at a bigger questionof WHY social networking is so popu-lar and he gives ideas on using thisknowledge in new ways.

This is a small book with tiny bite-size chapters that make it easy andfun to read. I love the way the authorcontinually makes a point and thenpoints to YOU the reader as the per-

son who is capable of making a dif-ference in the world. His belief isthat everyone can be a leader if theyare willing to take a stand for whatthey believe in. Leaders are willingto do many things out of the ordinaryincluding being uncomfortable on aregular basis.

There is even a bit of economicgood news in this book. According toGodin there is an upside to therecent downturn in the economy. Themarketplace is now more likely totake risks, so if you are willing tothink outside the box and offersomething people can believe in, youwill find eager consumers. You willfind your Tribe.

This book is applicable to a largecross-section of businesses andbusiness models. The theme thatties them all together is personalleadership no matter what your goalin life. Here is my favorite line in thewhole book: “leadership is a choice– a choice to not do nothing.” Thatstrikes my funny bone and rings trueto my own experience as a leader.

Are you interested in being aleader who is passionate aboutbringing positive change to theworld? Is the idea of marrying yourown personal leadership with bring-ing your message to a group of kin-dred spirits (those who are lookingfor just such a leader as you) appeal-ing to you? If so, an investment oftime, money and thought in Tribeswill be well spent. •

BOOKS TO ENHANCE THE COACHING LIFESTYLE

11VOLUME 9 NUMBER 1

Leading The TribeInspiring groups of people through leadership,communication and empowerment

“Leadership is a

choice – a choice to

not do nothing.”

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12 VOLUME 9 NUMBER 1

coaching toolsCREATIVE AND INNOVATIVE WAYS TO ENLIVEN AND REFRESH YOUR COACHING BUSINESS

Write Your Way to More Clients Online You know you should be writing that newsletter article or blogpost and using social media more effectively, but you are

dragging your feet. You are not alone. A common rea-son for getting stalled is not having a clear strategyfor your writing – or even more basic, not knowingwhat to write about.

Linda Dessau’s new book, Write Your Way to MoreClients Online, How to craft captivating content fornewsletters, blogs and social media is the book to breakyou out of procrastination and into action.

Linda is the content mastery queen and her bookis power-packed with “how-tos.” You get step-by-stepinstruction on how to banish article writer’s block,

how to create a writing strategy, how to structure your timefor maximum writing success and how to write the contentyour audience wants to read. You will learn about the differenttypes of content and even how to write a top 10 article.

Linda’s style is easy to read, thorough and includes all theright content. She definitely walks her talk; her content is exact-ly what her audience – you and I – need and want to know.

I highly recommend this book. You will want to keep it onyour desk and handy.

If you have had the opportunity to experi-ence a coaching session with horses, youknow it is a unique and powerful experi-ence. Lisa Murrell, author of The PersonalLeadership Cards, says it’s all about con-gruence. Horses can sense congruence, orlack of it, immediately. Now imagine aprocess to help you develop as a leaderthat combines powerful leadership coach-ing, a deep understanding of emotionalintelligence and the wisdom of horses.That’s exactly what you get with ThePersonal Leadership Cards.

The package includes a beautiful leather-bound journal and a set of cards to guideyour process. You begin with an onlineassessment to determine your leadershipstyle, then you work with the relevantcards. Your leadership set will include adescription of your leadership style, itsgifts and challenges, and a description ofthe “shadowland” or emotion that can getin your way. The series of suggested tasksand journaling questions are designed todeepen your awareness and help youdevelop more fully as a leader.

Whether for yourself or a client, ThePersonal Leadership Cards are a wisechoice to guide you to greater power, con-gruence and ultimately impact.

The Personal Leadership Cards

The RiskADay Journal It’s so easy to get into the rut of playing it safe.Safety, however, isn’t going to get you that big lifeyou want. Laura Overstreet Biering’s new RiskADayJournal offers the perfect structure for getting outof the habit of playing it safe and developing yourcourage muscle.

Laura understands that taking risks, even small ones, can feellike jumping out of an airplane. Her 28-day program offers consis-tent and gentle nudges to love yourself and your own unfoldingpossibility enough to take a risk each day. You will learn aboutrisk-taking and how to use discernment to choose risks and gainclarity about your motives.

The journal is divided into four themes, one for each week:learn, love, live and lead. The reading for the week points you ina direction and gives you questions to ponder. Each day you setyour intention and then track the learning from the experience.The journal is filled with great quotes and stimulus to help youidentify the risks that are right for you and throughout the journalyou feel Laura’s loving presence as your champion!

Commit to using The RiskADay Journal and you will definitelysee rewards for your efforts.

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13VOLUME 9 NUMBER 1

By Marcy Nelson-Garrison, MA, LP, CPCC

Links to products reviewed above are available at www.coachingtoys.com

Those who work with leaders,teams and organizations knowthe importance of dialogueregarding leadership styles andorganizational culture. TheLeadership Metaphor Cards are apowerful tool to facilitate thatprocess. The 84 cards from theCenter for Creative Leadership willblast the dialogue wide open andyou will be surprised at the depthof conversation that emerges.

As with most image-based prod-ucts, the framing question isimportant. One example: “Choosea card that says something aboutleadership in your organization.”Now imagine the conversation that

ensues from one of these cards:Coalition of Enemies, King of theJungle, Ambitious Pioneers orWindmill Tilters. It works withteams too; for example, a teammight be described as: WorldClass Athletes, Swarm of Bees orSquadron of Jet Fighters. Noticewhat is immediately understoodvia the metaphor and you will get asense of the power of these cards.

Talking through the metaphormakes it easier to express feel-ings, thoughts and opinionsthat may not have been acces-sible without the prompt. Fromthere you can deepen andexpand the conversation.

The cards can be applied togroup or individual work relatedto leadership, culture develop-ment, talent development, teambuilding and creating a culture ofinnovation. If you want more pro-found conversations, I recom-mend this tool.

Leadership Metaphor Explorer

thinkpal™

Stuck? Use thinkpal™ to work it out!Thinkpal™ is an iphone app that helps you work

through a problem much like a coach would, by askingyou thought-provoking and provocative questions. Youstart by thinking about a problem, a decision, or a long-term goal you are contemplating. You are then present-ed with a coaching question. You have the option of typ-ing or recording your answer in the ‘Notes to Self’ areaor you can go to the next question by choosing “keepthinking.” The emphasis is not so much on problemsolving as it is on the revelations that come with thethinking process. It’s like brainstorming with yourself.Once inspiration hits, you can record or write ‘Notes toSelf’ to listen back to when you need a boost, email toyour coach to deepen learning, or revisit and expandupon inspiration over different thinkpal™ sessions.

At the time of writing, the thinkpal™ team is develop-ing an infrastructure that will allow coaches to add theirown question sets and branding to the thinkpal™ plat-form. Imagine how impressed your clients will be whenyou present them with this tool!

Visit them at www.mythinkpal.com or find their app inthe Apple App Store! •

~ with input from tech coach Sandra de Freitas

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stickysituations

15VOLUME 9 NUMBER 1

the situation

EXPERT GUIDANCE ON CRITICAL COACHING ISSUES

By Victoria Trabosh, CDC®

Managing any group well, whether by phone or inperson, can feel like one of two analogies:1. Conducting a rich, full-bodied orchestra

where all members play their part.2. Taking your puppy to dog obedience school.I surmise that you’re not feeling very conductor-like. So

I’d like to further explore the agony and ecstasy of dog obe-dience training and how it relates to you and managingsomeone who monopolizes the call. How a perfect stranger(the trainer) turned my squirming ball of fluff and fur into awell-behaved puppy after 20 seconds never ceased toamaze me when we were in class. I realized after the firstclass that I was the one learning obedience, not my pup.

The dog trainer made it perfectly clear that our puppies’problems were not theirs, but ours! We were not the alphadog, the leader. Our pup had become the alpha dog. Ifyou’ve ever seen a puppy misbehave consistently andrepeatedly for certain members of a family (the pack) butturn into perfectly trained animals for one person (thealpha dog), you know how this works. In groups, theleader’s ability to be the alpha dog is evident early on. Theleader should never waver and turn the role over to anyonein the group.

Stating standards of communication behavior at thebeginning of any group is important. The part all leaderswho work well with a group know is that your boundaries

the experts weigh in

“I conduct group coaching sessions over the phone with several different groups. Invariably

in almost every group I coach, one client monopolizes the conversation, wants the entire

session to deal with his or her specific issues, and barely lets anyone else get a word in.

How can I ensure that everyone is “heard” in group coaching sessions?”

Are you grappling with a sticky situation?You don’t have to go it alone. Let our senior coaches give you some different perspectives to consider.Email your situation to: [email protected] and put “sticky situations” in the subject line.

“How can I ensuregroup sessions

are fair to all?”

must match your standards. Here are three commandsused in dog obedience class that relate to you as theleader:

Command #1: SIT! You begin by having clear writtenstandards to follow. Having these in writing and outliningthem in a short discussion at the beginning of the call isparamount to success. When standards are broken they –not the person – become the focus. Focusing on the stan-dards is ideal to keep tension at a minimum. Tensionaffects the energy of the entire group – but refocusing tothe standard (maintaining the boundary) just becomes partof the call.

Command #2: STAY! Practically speaking, standards ofcommunication behavior clearly state that time is limitedand all members are expected to participate – but notexcessively. If anyone does monopolize, remind themthat time is limited and others need to participate aswell, effectively but clearly restating the standard. Ifeveryone has agreed to the original standards, this willusually bring the person around to participate moreeffectively. If the behavior continues, have a conversa-tion off-line to ensure this person’s needs will appropri-ately be met in a group coaching situation.

Command #3: HEEL! And finally, all great dog obedi-ence classes share a common quality: they’re fun! Don’tbecome legalistic about this – but BE the alpha dog. Andall the pups will know it.

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stickysituations


By Craig Carr, PCC, CPCC

I’d like to address this situation by pointing back tobasics. A common analogy is that if one-to-one workis like throwing a ball up in the air and catching it,

group work is like juggling three or more balls at ever-increasing levels of complexity! And here’s a metaphor:If you’ve ever practiced a martial art like aikido, orplayed a position in a team sport, you know that thehighest skill is not technique but the ability to be awareof the energy that is moving and changing around you allthe time. Group coaching is like that.

Let’s also appreciate that the decision to add groupsto your coaching practice is more than a practical one. Ittakes training and supervision to do it well and it’s notfor everybody. The behavior you mention is only the tip ofthe iceberg of potentially frustrating episodes.

Back in the last century (Gerald Ford was president!) Itook a social psychology course in college that wasbased on the emerging field of group dynamics. It wasan hour each week where we basically sat in a circle andlooked at each other and waited for something to hap-pen, and another hour where we debriefed and dis-cussed what did – or didn’t – occur. It was amazingbecause it taught me three memorable lessons thatrelate to your question.

The first is that there is a phase, lets call it “Challengethe Leader,” that occurs less and less frequently depend-ing on how well the leader handles it the first time itshows up. It must occur if the group is to be classified ashealthy and functional. If you don’t like the idea of yourleadership being challenged, find another line of work.

The second is that if the group handles a wayward par-ticipant and does the job of bringing them back to focus,the leader is actually granted more esteem and allowedto take the group into riskier territory. You, the leader,have granted the members permission to solve theirown problem (sounds like coaching!).

The third is that the leader must model curiosity andcomfort with a quiet space. Many people talk to fill avacuum they subconsciously deem as awkward. Trainyour group that people process at different rates andwith various internal/external reference points such ashearing themselves talk or non-verbal feedback. Onceyou give a rationale for asking someone to pause and becurious, you may find you actually have to call on thatperson as they may respond by withdrawing their energy.

As I said, a group leader keeps many balls in the air.Enjoy it or avoid it. If you do it only because you canleverage more time for dollars you are setting yourselfup for disappointment.

By Carol Adrienne, PhD

This situation can make or break your group, so it’simperative to prepare ahead. I’ve facilitated groupsboth in person and on the phone with monopolizers.

One such type is the Talker – who launches into long-wind-ed scenarios. Another is the person who offers too much,sometimes uncomfortable, personal information – the TMI.Then there is the Interrogator – one who is openly con-frontational, skeptical or argumentative. And of course, theVictim – one who readily shares oft-told tales of woe, andin extreme cases, breaks into sobs or tears up.

The cardinal rule in any coaching group is that peoplemust feel safe and they want to feel heard. I recommendthe following techniques.

SET GUIDELINES UP FRONT. For example, “We will try toget to as many of your questions as we can in this one-hoursession. Since we don’t have the advantage of eye contacton the phone, I’d like to remind everyone of a few simpleguidelines. State your name, so we know who you are. Keepyour question or concern short and to the point. Talkfrom your heart and from your own experience. Andplease try to avoid the temptation to give advice.”

SET REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS FOR THE HOUR. “In thebest of all worlds, we would each have unlimited time totalk. However, realistically, given our one-hour timeframe, we probably have room to address three or fourpeople’s situations today.”

BE A LIGHTHEARTED HEAVY. “Part of my job is to watchthe clock. I know a lot of feelings or thoughts might comespilling out. Don’t be upset if, at some point, I jump in tosummarize. We want to give as many people as possible achance to participate. Is that okay with everyone? Great, sowho will our first three people be?” (Make a list, so theyknow when their turn will be.) “If you don’t get a chance toshare today, you’ll be a priority in the next session.”

INTERVENTIONS. Effective facilitating depends on sensi-tivity to when the Talker, TMI or Victim types start to lock upthe energy and lose the audience. If you have set priorguidelines, interrupting when necessary will not appear asabrupt or arbitrary. Gently interrupt: “Mary, can you hold onjust a minute? Thanks. Can I summarize your main pointsso far?” Summarize to show you heard what she said. Takeback the floor by making a few comments. Open the spaceand reconnect to the group. Invite comments. Keep it “pre-sent and personal.” With an Interrogator, you might need tobring into the open what is bothering him/her. Acknowl-edge his/her feelings or opinions without necessarilyagreeing with them. Attempt to reconnect them to the pre-sent moment: “Roger, Is there anything you need from thisgroup right now?” It may be that the disruptive person isgetting stuck in their old story or something has triggeredfeelings of anger. However, sometimes the person’s abra-siveness instigates unexpectedly brilliant group dynamicsand insights. Trust your intuition! •

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international eyeBy Elisabeth Balcarczyk, MA, CPCC, CYT

I note the obvious differences between each sort and type,but we are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike.

—Maya Angelou

Upon being asked to look in the mirror and acknowl-edge her own beauty – outside and inside – Diane startedsobbing. She is an incredibly talented, highly successfulentrepreneur who knows how to deal with just about anychallenge she might encounter – except acknowledgingherself. Diane is American. When I coached a group ofteenagers, I asked them what they liked best about them-selves or were most proud of. They all went silent. “Youknow, it is so much easier to see how great somebody elseis,” Nesrin said. Nesrin and her classmates are Turkish.“There is nothing special or outstanding I can see myselfbeing or doing – so what is there to acknowledge?” Markuscommented in answer to the same question. Markus, avery heart-centered small business owner, is German. All

of these clients from different social and cultural back-grounds are equally challenged when it comes to self-acknowledgment – seeing their own brilliance – which isone of the similarities I found when coaching clients inter-nationally. Thus they need a coach to remind them of theirown magnificence – continuously – regardless of their cul-tural norms and imprints.

In coaching clients from different countries and continents,I discovered a few more commonalities they all share.

• It is still rather common to only recognize thebody’s existence when it is not functioning very well,and not so much to acknowledge it as a pathway to innerprocesses. Hence, using the body in coaching as anentry-point to emotions and to get clients unstuck isboth essential and quite unfamiliar for clients regard-less of their background.

• Another characteristic that is not bound to coach-ing clients of any particular culture is the desire – somemight say longing – to live life from a place of fulfill-ment. This requires a rigorous commitment that takescourage and trust – a daunting task regardless of theclient’s cultural context.

• Afurther similarity lies in unleashing the client’s poten-tial. Holding the client as naturally creative, resourcefuland whole, and seeing and believing in their magnificenceeven and especially if they don’t, establish the frameworkfor a successful coaching relationship in any culture.

There are some intercultural differences coachesneed to be aware of as well. Based on my own experi-ence – being German and having coached both Germanand American clients – I would like to focus on thecoaching-related differences I noticed between thesetwo cultures in particular. When I lived in California, Iworked primarily with American clients. Most of thempreferred telephone coaching over in-person sessions

Unleashing cross-cultural potential

“It is quite uncommon to theGerman culture to expressemotions openly. As a result, itcan take quite a while beforeclients feel safe enough to sharetheir feelings.”

The Universal Coach

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due to the greater flexibility. Mostclients in Germany – based on myown experience and that of col-leagues I surveyed – choose to becoached face-to-face. To them, it isa matter of establishing trust: theyneed to see their coach and thecoach’s reactions in order to openup to him or her. It is quite uncom-mon to the German culture toexpress emotions openly. Permis-sion, or lack thereof, is an impor-tant factor. As a result, it can take

quite a while before clients feel safeenough to share their feelings.

Another difference can be foundin the way German clients refer totheir coaching sessions in discus-sion with others. It is still difficultfor most of them to speak openlyabout having a coach as the majori-ty of Germans still see no clear dif-ferentiation between coaching andtherapy; thus, having a coach isoften being considered as ‘not hav-ing one’s act together,’ which often

prevents clients from talking abouttheir experience.

A further significant distinctionbetween coaching in Germany andin North America is the differentapproach to failure in both cultures.While it is a common concept forNorth Americans to perceive fail-ure as an opportunity to learn andgrow, this is quite unfamiliar to theGerman nature, in which failuresupposedly equals weakness. WhenGermany hosted the Soccer WorldChampionship in 2006, the coachof the German national team – aGerman soccer pro who has lived inCalifornia for several years – triedto familiarize both the team and theaudience with the concept of failurebeing a valuable and integral part ofthe learning curve for this young

international eye

“The majority of Germans still see no clear differentiation between coachingand therapy; thus, having a coach is oftenbeing considered as ‘not having one’s acttogether.’ ”

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19VOLUME 9 NUMBER 1

team. Despite some notable open-ness to this perspective among thesoccer players and the audience, hisapproach was mostly ridiculed bythe media, and in the end, the quali-ty of the team performance seemedstill more important than the learn-ing. Applied to coaching, this meansthat German clients tend to feelembarrassed and defeated in the faceof failure. The coach must employempathy, acknowledgment and theuse of appropriate metaphors topoint to the value of failure in termsof learning on a path of mastery toovercome this inherent fear of fail-ure. There is a paradigm shift thatneeds to happen to adopt thishealthier attitude on a broader scale.

Looking at the similarities anddifferences mentioned above, it is

tempting to jump to the conclusionthat the results of coaching arebased more on personal attributesboth parts bring to the coachingrelationship – their level of engage-ment, the way they establish mutualtrust and a safe space, commitmentto the client’s agenda and imple-mentation – than on cultural con-text. In general, this is true.

There is a caveat, though, when itcomes to intercultural coaching. Ascoaches, we believe in oneness as weall stem from one universal energy.While this is true, it can create apitfall for coaches working withclients from a different culturalbackground, as there is a chance thecoach will – unintentionally – pro-ject their own values and beliefsonto their clients, who might come

from a fairly different perspective.How can this be avoided?

Openness and CuriosityIt is crucial to remain in a place ofopenness and curiosity about theclient in general, and especiallywhen working with clients from dif-ferent cultures. Values work is par-ticularly useful, as it elicits what theclient honors that might be culturerelated. This two-step process is aneffective reminder of staying in thisplace of curiosity:

1. Identify the client’s values: Whatis most important to them in life?What can they not be without? Whatwould they like to be recognized forby others? Where can the coachidentify values that are innate totheir culture, near and dear to them?

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2. Acknowledge the client’s values: A values list handedout to clients is a useful tool, as it not only reminds themof what is most important to them, but also shows thatthe coach really “gets” them. Make sure to acknowledgethem for honoring their values on a regular basis.

Empathy and SensitivityAt the heart of coaching is the need to really, uncondi-tionally, love our clients. It is essential to connect with

that essence, especially when confronted with intercul-tural differences. Loving thy client is a great antidote toassumptions and misunderstandings that might bebased on differing cultural contexts. What does the

coach love most about every individual client? Writingthat down to continuously remind oneself is useful. It isalso important to remember the status culture can holdto some individuals, so it is crucial to be sensitive totheir cultural beliefs and needs. Even asking them whatthey value most about their culture can be helpful.

Finding Oneness While Honoring Cultural DiversityAs coaches, we need to build a bridge between differentcultures in our coaching. There are common denomina-tors even in the variety of different cultural norms, suchas holding the client as naturally creative, resourcefuland whole. It is our responsibility to find and create thiscommon ground, whilst honoring the culture relateddifferent perspectives, values and beliefs.

The language of coaching is international, global anduniversal. What is at the heart of coaching is not tied to anyparticular country or continent: to love our clients, to seethem in their greatness even and especially if they don’t, andto stand in the fire for their utmost fulfillment in life. •

international eye

“Did you get the memo?”

visit www.FreedomMemorandum.comto get on the advance distribution list for the

new Abundance Intelligence® book by Kim George

Author of the Bestseller “Coaching Into Greatness”

“It is important to rememberthe status culture can hold, so itis crucial to be sensitive to theircultural beliefs and needs.”

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By Michel Neray, BSc, MBA

Powerful Questions are at theheart of great coaching. Yourability to ask Powerful Questions

that are validating, are specific to theindividual’s situation and that help shiftperspective often provide the key thatunlocks potential, promotes creativeproblem solving and inspires powerfulmotivation to take action toward a posi-tive goal. A Powerful Question posed atjust the right moment can truly be alife-changing experience.

Powerful Questions are also at theheart of great sales conversations –so even if you have never thought ofyourself as a salesperson, your abilityto ask Powerful Questions is a won-derful asset in your sales efforts.Surprised? Don’t be. There’s a directlink between great coaching and greatsalesmanship! But Powerful Ques-tions as taught and defined by profes-sional coaching are only part of theequation that converts a potentialclient into a paying client.

Motivation MetaprogramsTo help us understand why that is andwhat the other part is, it’s helpful tolook at Neuro-Linguistic Programming(NLP) and what this branch of psy-chology can teach us about how dif-ferent people are motivated to takeaction in different ways.

In NLP we learn about motivationmetaprograms. People are broadlyclassified in two groups: ‘Away’ peo-ple and ‘Toward’ people. In a nut-shell, people who have strong‘Toward’ motivational metaprogramshave a natural desire to move towarda positive goal or outcome. Peoplewho have strong ‘Away’ motivationalmetaprograms have a natural desire

to move away from a painful situationor outcome.

Like any psychological classifica-tion system, things are not quite soclear-cut and we are often driven by acombination of both metaprograms,depending on the unique circum-stances of the situation, but it’s auseful concept to keep in mind.

If you take a close look at most def-initions of Powerful Questions, you’llrecognize immediately that PowerfulQuestions are almost completelybased on ‘Toward’ motivationalmetaprograms. This is understand-able given that the coaching profes-sion itself has evolved in large partout of the positivity movement. Coach-ing is less interested in what has hap-pened in the past or why/how theclient got ‘here’; coaching is interest-ed in where the client wants to go.

As such, professional coaching isinherently future-based and positive innature. And as a result it likely attractsa much higher proportion of the overallpopulation who are inherently future-based and positive in nature.

You are probably a classic andcommitted ‘Toward’ person – andherein lies the problem for sales,because your motivation metapro-gram is probably not the same as

that of your potential client! In my experience as a professional

advertising copywriter, I have foundthat sales and marketing literaturethat clearly identifies the pain first –before identifying the positive,desired outcome – is usually far moreeffective than sales and marketingcopy that doesn’t.

In other words, most people aremore ‘Away’ driven than we as coach-es would like to think, and it’s criticalto speak clearly to that motivationalmetaprogram. ‘Provocative Ques-tions’ serve exactly this purpose.

Provocative Questions Provocative Questions are thosequestions that explore all the nega-tive aspects of the specific challengeyour potential client is facing. Inmany instances, Provocative Ques-tions help bring clarity to the chal-lenge itself, and in that way help youand your potential client assesswhether or not you are a good fit foreach other. In other words, askingProvocative Questions helps both ofyou determine whether the potentialclient has a challenge that you as theprospective coach are uniquely quali-fied to help with. (Please refer to thelast issue of choice for my article on

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21VOLUME 9 NUMBER 1

Burning ConversationsTurn more potential clients into paying clients with the right mix of powerful and provocative questions

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defining your niche by the specificchallenge you solve.)

Bringing clarity to the challengeyour client is facing also provides afoundation for the positive coachingthat you will eventually and hopeful-ly provide, so I believe it’s a keystep in the coaching process.

As with Powerful Questions, it’simportant for you to developProvocative Questions that are spe-cific to the individual’s situation.Here are a few examples to get youthinking in the right direction:

• What’s the problem?• Why is that a problem? How

bad is it?• What do you think that’s cost-

ing you (in terms of money, relation-ships, self-esteem, etc)? Is it worthdoing anything about?

• What is it stopping you fromdoing (or becoming)?

• When does it get in the way?How does it get in the way?

• How does it create other prob-lems or make other problems worse?

• What do you think is causingthat problem?

• If you don’t do anything about it,what is likely to happen and how isyour life/business likely to play out?

The Burning PlatformAs you can see, Provocative Ques-tions are the negative side of thecoin while Powerful Questions arethe positive side. If you adhere rigid-ly to the positive possibility coachingdoctrine, asking Provocative Ques-tions may require conscious effort. Itcertainly will help to see that speak-ing directly to the ‘Away’ motivationalmetaprogram is valuable to bothyour potential client (in taking thefirst step toward a positive outcome)and to you (in turning your potentialclient into a paying client).

Provocative Questions are espe-cially useful in creating the proverbial

‘burning platform.’ The burning plat-form is a concept first developedwithin the field of change manage-ment consulting. It actually stemsfrom a true story involving a manworking on an oil platform in theNorth Sea of Scotland. He was awak-ened suddenly one night by an explo-sion. Although he could barely seethrough the smoke, he was able tomake his way to the edge of the plat-form and jump – even though therewas a 150-foot drop to the water.

Fortunately he survived, and whenhe was asked about what was goingthrough his mind just before hejumped, he explained that the fireraging behind him on the burningplatform was a major factor in hisdecision to jump. Understandably.

Change management consultantsknow that most people are inher-ently resistant to change, and theonly thing that truly motivates themto take action is a burning platform.The action may be as big as hiringyou as a coach, or it may be assmall as making the decision to lis-ten and consider the options.

Many coaches offer free coachingsessions to give a potential client ataste of their coaching style and tosee if there’s a good fit betweencoach and client. But coaching ses-sions are naturally based on Power-ful Questions, not ProvocativeQuestions – that’s why a free coach-ing session sometimes leads to apaying client, and sometimes not.

If you broaden your questioningskill to include Provocative Ques-tions, especially in your initial con-versations and in your free coachingsession if you offer one, you’ll seeyour conversions from prospect toclient increase significantly.

And best of all, you’ll be tappinginto the same authentic coachingskill that makes you a great coachin the first place! •

“Most people are inherently resistant to

change,and theonly thing that truly motivates

them to take action is a burning platform.”

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By Gary L. Glasscock, BS, AS, BCTC

Almost all of the coaches Iknow do the majority of theircoaching over the phone. A

few do face-to-face sessions, but forthe most part, it appears that a lot ofcoaching relies on the telephone. Iknow if not for the phone I wouldn’thave had access to the national andinternational clients I’ve had the plea-sure of working with.

Thus, your phone system could bereferred to as the backbone of yourcoaching business. Since coaches dodepend on the telephone so much, itis extremely important that we have agood quality phone system in place,with the capability of using a headsetin conjunction with the system. It’sdefinitely the best solution, andallows you to have your hands free totake notes. You can find a few cord-less phone systems that are Blue-tooth capable, so a good Bluetoothheadset for your cell or smartphonecould easily double for use with youroffice phone system.

Your Cordless Options

In cordless phone systems, the newerDECT (Digital Enhanced CordlessTelecommunications) sys-tems are a good invest-ment. However, you canget a good 5.8 GHz digitalcordless system thatoffers great performanceand good audio quality at alower price. Stay away fromthe 2.4 GHz systemsthough, as they will inter-fere with wireless routers.

Of course, a lot of peo-ple just use their cellphone for their coaching

business, and that’s okay. You justhave to make sure you are always in aplace where you have a good signal.Personally, I use a 5.8 GHz cordlessphone on a POTS (Plain Old Tele-phone System) line for my businessphone. This also allows for a listing in

our local Yellow Pages,which can be an advan-tage, depending on yourcoaching specialty ofcourse.

Alternatives To A

POTS Line

You do have anotherchoice in this technologi-cally advanced age we livein, and that is Voice OverInternet Protocol (VOIP)services. You can use

Vonage, or one of many other similarservices. We also have Skype at ourdisposal.

VOIP services have become quitepopular in the last few years as nor-mally the monthly charge is signifi-cantly less than a standard POTSline. For instance, Vonage costs$25.99 a month and you can call 60different countries with unlimited longdistance. One advantage of usingmost VOIP systems is that you canuse your existing telephone and justconnect it to the box you get fromyour VOIP provider.

Of course, you can use Skype onyour computer as a VOIP option. WithSkype you can get unlimited long dis-tance in North America for only $30 ayear and there are various otherplans that include international call-

HELPING YOU NAVIGATE TODAY’S TECHNOLOGY

Dial ToneYour phone system: your business backbone

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“Bluetooth headsets have decreased in

price quite a bit over the last several months,

so getting a good quality device isn’t as

expensive as it once was.”

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ing. In addition, if the person youwant to speak to also has Skype, thetwo of you can talk Skype-to-Skypefor free. Skype also comes with thecapability of conference calling, sothat could possibly be another optionfor you. Skype also features videoconferencing, which can be prettycool. With this feature we are finallycatching up to the Jetsons. (In caseyou don’t know who the Jetsons are,they were a futuristic cartoon familypopular in the ’60s and ’70s. Lookthem up on YouTube.)

What Headset Do I Use?

A good quality headset with Skype iskey. The best directly connected head-set to use is one featuring USB con-nectivity. The reason for this is that theprocessing of the audio input is takencare of before it goes into the comput-er, whereas if your headset connectsto the audio in/audio out jacks on thefront of your computer the sound isprocessed inside of your computer andwill usually have a lesser sound qualitythan the USB headset.

Another option to the standardtype of USB headset is to use a Blue-tooth headset with your computer.That is, if the machine is Bluetoothcapable. Here again, you want a goodquality headset.

Thankfully, Bluetooth headsetshave decreased in price quite a bitover the last several months, so get-ting a good quality device isn’t asexpensive as it once was. One thingto look for is good noise cancella-tion. Other considerations includehow comfortable the headset is, therange of the device, and whether ornot the headset has multi-point capa-bilities. Multi-point capability allows

the headset to be connected to morethan one device.

My Bluetooth Recommendation

After doing some research on Blue-tooth headsets for a client recently, itappeared that the Aliph JawboneBluetooth headsets were superior inmany ways to other similarly pricedheadsets, according to several web-sites I visited which offered Blue-tooth headset comparisons andvarious customer reviews. The mainreasons for this recommendation arethe NoiseAssassin noise cancellationtechnology Aliph uses and how com-fortable the units are.

NoiseAssassin was first developedfor military use in extreme noise situ-

ations such as noisy armored vehi-cles like tanks and troop carriers. Ifigured if it was good enough for themilitary’s needs for noise cancella-tion it would do a great job for therest of us. Noise cancellation wasvery important for my client, as shewanted to free herself from beingtied to the computer all day long, andwanted to be able to go to the parkand dictate on the go with a voice

dictation app on her iPad. I recom-mended she purchase an Aliph Jaw-bone headset due to theNoiseAssassin technology employedin the Aliph headsets and the greatproduct reviews I researched.

My Personal Choice

I recently was in the market for aBluetooth headset myself, so I pur-chased an Aliph Jawbone PRIMEBluetooth headset on Amazon.comfor a little less than $45 after ship-ping. Comparable headsets weregoing for close to $100 just four orfive months ago. As I said, Bluetoothheadsets have significantly comedown in price recently.

I had been putting off purchasinga Bluetooth headset even though Iam a gadget geek; however, once Ipurchased a new Bluetooth-compati-ble iMac I decided that getting aBluetooth headset could benefit me(in addition to satisfying my gadgetgeekiness) by allowing me to walkaround the house while on a calland to make calls with Skype usingthe Bluetooth headset. It’s also amulti-point device, so I can not onlypair it with my Mac but also with mysmartphone.

The use of a good phone system isparamount to the success of yourcoaching business. This is one areawhere you really don’t want to pinchpennies; because your income is inthe dial tone, just bite the bullet andpurchase the best phone system youcan afford. •

IMAG

E C

RED

IT: ©

JAW

BO

NE

“Since coaches do depend on the telephone

so much, it is extremely important that we

have a good quality phone system in place,

with the capability of using a headset in con-

junction with the system.”

Aliph Jawbone headsets

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Find your Compass at www.mylifecompass.com

Do you have a GROWTHplan?

Compass knows how hard it is to build a coaching practice. We have developed a complete business system to help you increase your income, impact, efficiency, and results.

CLIENT BASE

INCOME

IMPACT

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How can coaches design andlaunch groups that thrive, creat-ing engagement, inspiration,motivation and accountability forparticipants? Why do people joingroups? How does a group (andits coach) leverage the energy ofall its members? What is mostimportant for a coach to knowbefore forming a group? How cancompanies use coaching groupsto achieve their most importantinitiatives more quickly and morecost effectively? Read on touncover the secrets to a success-ful group coaching experience forboth coach and client.

Strength

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By Ginger Cockerham, MCC

T he $2.4-billion coaching market continues to grow at a fast-paced 18 percent per year (MarketData Report, 2009), provid-ing more opportunity for coaches to expand and increase their

offerings to individuals, companies and organizations. A great optionfor this expansion is group coaching, which leverages a coach’s time,revenue and relevance in the marketplace.

Group coaching is a facilitated group process led by a professionalcoach and created with the intention of maximizing the combined ener-gy, experience and wisdom of individuals who choose to join in order toachieve organizational objectives and/or individual goals. (Team coach-ing, by contrast, is a transformational process where a highly skilledcoach partners with a team leader – a manager or executive – to enrollthe members in an action learning environment, and coach the team asthey work together to achieve a specific business outcome.)

The process of group coaching is designed to provide each groupmember with coaching, resources, energy, and the accountabilityneeded to move forward on specific individual goals within the frame-work of the company/organization’s overall initiative.

Examples of coaching groups:

• Entrepreneurial business owners who want to become the CEOsof their companies.

• Executive peer groups focusing on innovation and change withintheir organizations.

• Sales Professionals affiliated with the same company but inseparate offices.

27VOLUME 9 NUMBER 1

Creating thriving coaching groups

Feature

In Numbers

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• Executive Women leaders ininternational organizations whoseek peer interaction.

• Managers integrating coachingskills for leading and facilitatingeffective teams.

• Individuals wanting to achievetheir highest potential personallyand professionally.

Some of the benefits to group mem-

bers include:

• Receiving coaching and supportfrom a coach and their peers in thegroup.

• A safe environment where con-fidentiality and trust exists.

• Transferring knowledge andwisdom among the group peers.

• Improving active listening andcommunication skills.

• Integrating and applying coach-ing tools.

• Expanding the vision of what ispossible and achievable.

• Receiving individual feedbackto create awareness and clarity.

• Increasing emotional intelli-gence.

• Eliminating isolation and insu-lar thinking.

• Raising professional and busi-ness expertise.

• Generating commitment andaccountability.

• Maximizing organizational andpersonal outcomes.

Fast Company reports that 64 per-cent of companies with coachingprograms expect to increase them inthe next five years despite the eco-nomic conditions. Knowing that thevalue of coaching is embraced and

encouraged in organizations and inthe marketplace gives coaches theopportunity to expand the menu ofservices they offer.

There are some key things youneed to know as you enlarge yourcoaching business to include groups.Group coaching requires perfectingand applying advanced coachingskills as well as acquiring an under-standing of group dynamics.

Part of the ICF definition ofcoaching includes this statement:“Through the process of coaching,clients deepen their learning,improve their performance, andenhance their quality of life.” One of

the challenges for the group coach isto make sure each participant in thegroup has the opportunity to experi-ence coaching at that level. I encour-age deeper coaching by proposingindividual laser coaching to compa-nies and individuals in our agree-ments. These laser coaching sessionsare designed to address personalconcerns by group participants thatcan be shared confidentially with thecoach. Individual laser coaching ben-efits the group by keeping these per-sonal concerns off the agenda so thegroup can stay focused on the topics

that are relevant to all participantscollectively.

As we partner with the groupmembers individually and collective-ly in creating deeper learning andenhanced quality of life, we are cre-ating an environment for improvingperformance. Even though a coachmay step into the role of facilitator,mentor and teacher occasionally,these are not the primary roles ingroup coaching. The highest andbest use of our time and expertise isto the participants coach.

One of the key distinctionsbetween groups and teams is theconcept of choice. For group coach-

ing to be interactive and effective,the group members must be willingparticipants. By partnering with thegroup coaching sponsor, a coach canencourage an invitation to join beingsent to all eligible or appropriate par-ticipants. Thus, those individualswho choose to join enter the groupwith excitement and commitment toparticipate.

The terms ‘group coaching’ and‘facilitated groups’ are often consid-ered very similar and sometimesused interchangeably. A key differ-ence between coaching groups and

Feature

“Group coaching is designed toprovide each group member with coaching, resources, energy,and the accountability needed to move forward on specific individual goals.”

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29VOLUME 9 NUMBER 1

facilitated groups is the ownership ofthe group. As the group moves froman unformed group to a formedgroup, the members of the groupstep into an ownership role. Thatincludes co-creating the agenda,making decisions about inviting newmembers, recreating the focus of thegroup, and reinventing the processand purpose of the group. Instead ofthe organization or the coach ‘own-ing’ the group, the group membersown the group themselves.

Designing environmentsfor creating formed groupsCoaches can help transition the groupfrom an unformed to a formed groupquickly by designing an environmentthat brings the individuals together,

quickly creates connections, and fos-ters a sense of community.

Coaching in a formed group canfacilitate group members to makethe changes, shifts and leaps neces-sary for them to move from ‘what isnot working’ in their business and/ortheir lives towards finding directionand moving forward confidentlywith purpose and momentum.

A masterful coach can be instru-mental in helping clients gain theinsight and awareness necessary formaking significant changes andincredible ‘leaps’ toward their goalsand dreams. This is not to discountthe valuable contribution that mem-bers play in this process. Whengroup members share their experi-ences, knowledge and insights, their

wisdom and experience can be a cat-alyst in a transformational process.

Group coaching also offers groupmembers the opportunity to have anaccountability system around themthat motivates and inspires them toachieve goals that have been unat-tainable to them in the past. Onegroup member said recently, “I havebeen working to attain this level ofproduction and achievement forover 12 years and since joining ourcoaching group, I was able to reachthe goal in the first year.”

The power of group coaching canbe amazing. In less than a year, Amy,a group member in a financial ser-vices group formed by a companyinitiative to retain more women rep-resentatives, went from describingher profession as “excruciatingly dif-ficult” to being honored at an annualagency recognition dinner for out-standing producers! Amy says fre-quently that she would not still be inthe financial services business if itweren’t for her fellow coachinggroup members who challenged andencouraged her. In addition, she issinging in a choir, swimming andflourishing in her personal life.

Although a group may initiallyhave been created to meet a specificorganizational or company objec-tive, the true function of the groupcenters on what each participantneeds to achieve his or her particulargoals. As those specific individualgoals are met, the overall companyobjectives are achieved.

Feature

UNFORMED GROUP

Focusing inward –

What about me?

Creating an individual

mission/vision

Studying and learning material

individually

Asking questions for personal

edification

Slow in embracing coaching

processes

Not sharing business practices

FORMED GROUP

Looking outward – What do we

want to achieve?

Choosing a common

mission/vision

Interacting/interchanging with

others

Communicating and sharing with

each other

Volunteering to be coached and

coaching others

Sharing resources and business

practices

The process of a group moving from an unformed group to a

formed group includes key distinctions

Unformed vs. Formed Groups

“For group coaching to be interactive and effective,the group members must be willing participants.”

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31VOLUME 9 NUMBER 1

By Jennifer Britton, BSc, MES, PCC,CPCC, CPT, CHRP

I ncreasingly, more coaches are adding group coach-ing to their mix. The benefits for coaches, clientsand organizations abound (refer to sidebar). This

article explores key ingredients for coaches to considerbefore, during and after a group coaching program, tomaximize success for all involved.

Before the ProgramEven before you get on the phone or into a room with agroup, there are a number of key areas to consider:

Look at your numbers and design. For a program tobe considered group coaching for the purposes of creden-tialing, the ICF has set a cap at a group size of 15. Groupcoaching is an intimate conversation space, focused on goalsetting, awareness building and accountability. In groupcoaching, the principle of ‘less is more’ is critical. As agroup coach we want to create robust opportunities forconversation amongst the group members. Group coach-ing is not training, where the facilitator is the expert andthe goal is to equip group members with new KSAs(Knowledge, Skills and Abilities). Group coaching isgrounded in coaching principles, with the group coachplaying the role of coach – supporting the members todeepen their awareness and take action on issues impor-tant in their work or life.

Set your focus. What is going to be the focus of yourprogram? A majority of clients prefer to have a set ofthemes or topics around which the coaching is to occur.This helps the group to identify commonalities. Themescan provide an anchor point for conversations, and willalso support you in your marketing and implementation.

Consider learning styles. Within any group context you

will likely have a mix ofvisual, auditory and kines-thetic learners. Consider howyou can meet the needs of these differentstyles through handouts/visual anchor points, body cen-tered coaching, journaling and other hands-on exercises.

Conduct pre-program 1-1s. Wherever feasible, priorto the start of my group coaching sessions I like to speakwith each participant to find out what their priorities are,what their agendas are and what has brought them to theprogram. It is also a good way to cover off any logisticalissues and discuss expectations. Group coaching is still a

mystery to many clients and the differences between acontent-heavy workshop and the focus of group coach-ing’s reflection and action may not be well understood.

If you are working with a corporate group, where meet-ing one-on-one may not always be possible, a questionnaireor web-based survey will support you in honing in to what’sreally important before the program starts. Another bene-fit of these pre-program 1-1s is to get a sense of any difficultissues that may emerge. Consider these pre-program 1-1s aspart of the design of your coaching alliance.

During the ProgramSet the tone. Spend time in session 1 strategically giving

Feature

Groups That ThriveEssential ingredients for success

“Group coaching is an intimateconversation space, focusedon goal setting, awarenessbuilding and accountability.”

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the group an opportunity to get toknow each other as well as develop-ing ground rules or ways of working.Confidentiality plays a critical role inthe group coaching context.

Leave lots of time for the groupto connect. One of the key benefitsclients mention about group coach-ing is the opportunity for them toconnect not only with the coach butalso with each other. Never underes-timate the power of peer learningand sharing.

Leverage your core coachingcompetencies. Group coaching is anextension of coaching, and fusestogether important principles fromthe realm of group dynamics and adultlearning. How are you using your corecoaching competencies, such as:

• Curiosity• Asking Powerful Questions• Listening• Being unattached to the outcome• Holding your clients’ agendas

(plural in this case)• Supporting clients to deepen their

awareness, set goals and take action• Creating AccountabilityNotice and work through the

group dynamics that are occurring.Bruce Tuckman’s model of Forming,

Storming, Norming, Performing(and later Adjourning) can providecoaches with valuable informationabout the support needs of a groupat different stages.

For example, conflict that emergesin a second or third session may be afunction of the group figuring out itsdifferent roles, and can actually sig-nal healthy development of thegroup.

Engage your audience every fiveto seven minutes. The latestresearch in virtual facilitation pointsto the importance of engaging youraudience every five minutes(Huggett, 2010). Whether it is ask-ing a question to the group, havingpeople reflect on a question in a jour-nal, or beginning a conversation,changing your pace is critical inkeeping your group membersengaged throughout a program.

Remember that the impact ofcoaching really happens in betweenthe sessions. Robust assignmentsusing Inquir y, Challenges andRequests can support group clientsto integrate their learning andinsights into their life and work.Given the diverse nature of groups,recognize that a “one size fits all”

assignment may not be the bestapproach. Where possible, havegroup members self-identify, ortweak their own inquiry, challenge orrequest. Assignments between callsare even more important in the vir-tual/phone-based domain.

After the ProgramFollow up with the group and checkin on accountabilities, both collec-tively and individually. Keeping intouch can be also a great marketingapproach, and can point to the needand interest for follow-up programs.

Obtain feedback from the groupin the medium and long term as towhat impact the program really hadfor them. What are the benefits ofthe program? What were the results?What changes need to be made?

Keeping these ideas in mindbefore, during and after a programcan greatly boost the impact and sat-isfaction of the group coachingprocess for coaches and clients alike.

References:

Britton, Jennifer. Effective Group Coaching. John

Wiley and Sons,2010.

Huggett, Cindy. Virtual Facilitation Basics. ASTD

Press,2010.

Feature

Benefits of Group Coaching (Britton, 2010)

CLIENT

•Collective wisdom

•Multiple perspectives

•Less didactic (back and forth

questioning)

•May have more chance to

reflect

•Less ‘on the spot’

•Enables people to connect

across geographic and industry

boundaries

COACH

•Leverages time and resources

•Economies of scale

•Effects change

•Harnesses the collective

wisdom of groups

•Scalability

ORGANIZATION

•Time

•Money

•Scalability

•Effecting change more readily

•Cross functional fertilization

•Culture change

•Enhanced retention of learning

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By DJ Mitsch, CMC, MCC

Coaches and coaching com-panies are feverishlyresponding to the latest

issue of requests from large globalorganizations now soliciting bestideas for how to offer coaching toaspiring leaders. Those who leadlearning organizations or leadershipdevelopment programs are seekingways to scale initiatives to developand retain key employees at everylevel, from the executives who typi-cally receive one-to-one coaching, tothe front line where the investmentoptions are thinner and the need forcreativity is greater. This expansionpresents lots of opportunities, aswell as a few challenges. The present-ing question is this: “When is groupcoaching the best application?”

Underscoring the focus of groupcoaching in organizations, the fol-lowing case will illustrate a few keyadvantages and also illuminate somepotential challenges or pitfalls forcoaching leaders or aspiring leadersin groups. These ideas come from acollection of personal and collegialexperiences of working with groupsand teams through various partner-ships over the past 15 years. What wehave learned is that most successful

group coaching experiences havethese elements:

1. Group Think: Participants cometogether for specific reasons – affini-ty groups, project groups, executiveteams and networking groups –where the individuals can leveragethe group’s best thinking and thewisdom of their colleagues whiletaking time for personal reflectionand applications of learning.

2. No Competition: There is a lackof competition among the groupmembers for specific job openingsthat might occur while they are inthe group coaching experience, soaspiring leaders feel safe to share fullstories about a new position they aregoing for, create options for careerpaths, or seek advice from the othermembers about best approaches.

3. Cultural Awareness: Membersare seeking new ways to communi-cate across cultures to gain betterunderstandings, create new partner-ships, drive new strategies, or inno-vate a global approach.

4. Community: In the time allocat-ed for coaching, typically one hour, thegroups are small enough for everyoneto participate, offer suggestions, speakabout their personal insights, sharestories and shift perspectives and ener-gy by laughing together.

With that as the foundation forsuccess, consider the case below:

Scaling coaching foraspiring leaders anddiverse candidatesProposal request reads, “Large globalorganization seeks to expand keyand diverse talent developmentalopportunities to aspiring front lineprofessionals.” This is a great ideaconceptually for numerous reasons,with benefits including retentionstrategy, reserve of talent, and diver-sity initiative to broaden the base ofnew applicants for leadership roles.

Group Coaching The growing application in developing aspiring leaders

33VOLUME 9 NUMBER 1

Feature

“Intact teams are applications forteam coaching, not group coaching.The dynamics are different and thecoach’s focus is different.”Re

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How to address the disadvantages:1. Select a coaching company orcadre of internal or external coachesto conduct the group coaching.Think in terms of six to eight peopleper coach and a minimum of sixmonths for the initiative.

2. Create a foundation for theindividual participants – match eachindividual to a coach who will con-duct two months of individualcoaching to set a plan.

3. Those same people will workwith the coach for a group experi-

ence, beginning in month three.Supplement the group coaching withan individual check-in on progressupdate – 30 to 60 minutes, depend-ing on the contract and the needs ofthe individuals.

4. Set the ground rules for thegroup in the first session – how theywill participate, where they willfocus, what they keep for the indi-vidual sessions. Allow the group todetermine these agreements.

5. Now, coach – focus the group callson what each person is learning abouttheir capabilities, leveraging their

Feature

Advantages vs. DisadvantagesConsider these advantages and disadvantages for conducting a

front line diversity program for leadership development as part of

an expansion strategy:

ADVANTAGES

Group coaching offers the opportunity for members to create small net-

works and get beyond the individual contributor role in how they view

their role and their potential.

Intimacy – participating in this type of conversational environment

makes possible having a best friend at work, with partnerships and rela-

tionships being built quickly in a facilitated conversation with the coach.

People learn from each other, as their colleagues reveal vulnerabilities –

there is always the possibility that what someone else is discovering for

her/himself is exactly what the rest of the group needs to hear or learn.

Problem solving for the organization – if attention is paid to the ideas

that originate in these groups, there is a powerful opening for best prac-

tices to be adopted.

Cost savings – offering group coaching where six to eight people work

with a single coach has built-in efficiencies of time for the coach, result-

ing in cost savings for the organization.

DISADVANTAGES

Some participants may withhold their full contribution – or hide out – if

the coach is not skilled at engaging each member.

Some may take longer to find personal paths of leadership or a deep con-

nection to their own wisdom, if they are habitual and comfortable followers.

When the group’s members aspire to and apply for a limited number of

job openings at the next level, there is an unspoken competition which

may prohibit members from sharing fully what they need and want to

accomplish in the interview process.

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35VOLUME 9 NUMBER 1

Feature

strengths, closing development gaps,growing and contributing. Keep thejob application moves and goal attain-ment around the positions in reservefor the individual sessions.

6. Have an end game in mind.What will the group accomplish inthe coaching experience? Whenshould it end?

To further answer when to“group” or not, considerthese questions:1. Is this an intact team? Intact teamsare applications for team coaching,not group coaching. The dynamicsare different and the coach’s focus isdifferent. With a group, the focus ison a facilitative approach and indi-vidual agendas and learning. The par-ticipants have chosen to participateand have a choice in the coachmatching. In team coaching theteam’s leader typically chooses thecoach – typically someone they trustand have worked with, often selectedin a coach matching process. Theteam members are enrolled to par-ticipate in a process that is not theirown design and has a mandate, acommon goal or need, whereas thecoach’s role is to accelerate how theywork together, learn together andaccomplish extraordinarily success-ful outcomes.

2. Is this an action learning chal-lenge, where participants areassigned to action teams? This appli-cation is more difficult to assess.‘Action teams’ has become anotherbuzz phrase much like ‘quality circles’was in the 1980s, yet there are manyinterpretations for how to design andexecute an action team and what thestarting point and end game are.Action learning teams originated outof a need to address short-term

dilemmas for global or cross-culturalunderstanding. Team and groupcoaching done well both have actionlearning as one of the key drivers forsuccess. The truth is that actionlearning is always at the heart of greatcoaching, so perhaps the betterapproach is to help clarify for the pro-ject lead or learning officer what isreally needed and if group or teamcoaching is the more specific applica-tion for the needs of the team.

3. Would this initiative be betterfocused on developing the key indi-viduals and grooming them personal-ly for contribution at the next orhigher level leadership position?Remember the beauty and power ofone-to-one coaching for individualleadership development. Often, it isnot worth trying to save a moderateamount of money when the desire isto develop an executive to becomebalanced, revealing, self-aware,mindful, gracious, present, flexible –or when coaching has been pre-scribed as an intervention to helpsomeone save their job.

Answering these questions cangive both coaches and the organiza-tions we serve a place to start, todetermine if the initiative is drivenby an application for groups, forteams, or for individuals.

“With a group,the focus is on a facilitativeapproach andindividual agendas andlearning.”

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By Judy Feld, MCC, MS, MAS, CMC

Every group has a different and unique combina-tion of participants. Group coaching works bestwhen it is fluid, flexible, dynamic and diverse.

The coach and the group benefit from expanded insightinto the many variables that impact the group coachingprocess – including generational issues. Before we exam-ine variables we’ll look at commonalities.

To be effective, groups must have a focus – a commonthread. I ask my students the question, “When youlaunch a coaching group and invite ‘anyone,’ who is likelyto show up?” My answer, and an excellent teaching pointon focus and specificity, is ‘no one.’

A coaching group can work well when the participantsare in the same or similar professions or occupation, e.g.coaches, leaders, scientists, attorneys, engineers, salespeople, financial services professionals, academics, den-tists. Another way to form coaching groups is through acommon interest or situation, e.g. career transition,overstressed executives, working mothers, life path. Icoach one group we call the “SuperWoman” group(www.coachnet.com/superwoman/). Many groups areformed from employees of the same organization withcommon goals, who may be co-located or geographicallydispersed. This process is often labeled ‘team coaching.’

Group Coaching Tip: Choose your common thread, brandyour group, and implement it.Look at your unique niche and how to find the people init. Examine your specialty and who would value it. Beaware of trends and ‘hot coaching topics,’ and know thevalue of recognizing perceived needs in your market.

The common thread that attracts people to a coaching

group is not the only factor that impacts the quality ofthe group experience.

Commonalities are important – as are the many vari-ables that influence group functioning. In my experi-ences with group coaching and studying the ‘Four-Generation Workplace,’ I’ve seen the importance of rec-ognizing issues related to ‘generation’ in ensuring smoothsailing for the coach and the group members.

For the first time we now have four generations in theworkplace – presenting interesting challenges andopportunities to leaders, managers and coaches. Groupcoaching introduces complexities of group dynamics,and we must also understand inter-generational interac-tions, issues, styles, experiences and preferences. I hopethis brief overview will provide some useful insights andspark your curiosity to learn more about these concepts.

The Four GenerationsYou might see some variation in the labels and dates used byother writers, with the following commonly understood:

• The Silent Generation (a.k.a Traditionalists) wereborn before 1946

• Baby Boomers were born between 1946 and 1964 • Gen Xers were born between 1965 and 1980 • Millennials (also called Gen Y) were born after 1981.Why is it important for group coaches to pay attention

to the four generations? In many cases they are not getting

Bridging The GapGroup coaching across generations


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along in the workplace (and elsewhere). They don’t under-stand each other. It’s important to observe the distinctionbetween ‘Age’ and ‘Generation.’ Different generationscare about different approaches to the same problems atdifferent times. Generational context is not about age, butcommon experiences. Do you remember ‘don’t trust any-one over 30’? We heard that back in the ’70s, and it wassaid by the Baby Boomers. Well, the Boomers retain manyconsistent generational traits, but now the youngest ofthem are over 40 and the oldest over 60. What a shock!

The coach may have four generations in one coachinggroup. Teams are a special kind of group – usually ‘assignedor drafted’ vs. ‘volunteering or self-selected.’ Members ofworking teams and assigned groups may not be fully invest-ed in the coaching process. Self-selected individuals stillmay have different generational approaches even whenthey are all there for the same purpose. Generations differin their approach to meetings – and group coaching ses-sions are meetings.

The Problem With MeetingsIt may well be that the group coaching experience can beenhanced by making it “not a meeting.” A September 2010global survey commissioned by Citrix Systems, Inc. andconducted by Forrester Consulting revealed, among othernot-so-surprising insights, that “the younger you are, theless you value meetings – and pay attention.” Respondents

were of all ages and from various industries. The survey alsoshowed a “divide in how generations … communicate andcollaborate in business.” Gen Y participants may presentthe greatest challenge:

• Gen Y is least likely to think meetings are efficient– only 29 percent of Gen Y compared to 45 percent ofolder Boomers.

• Gen Y is least likely to pay attention in meetings andbarely half (51 percent) believe it’s very important to do so.

• Multitasking is still considered rude in a meeting.83 percent believe that side conversations are unac-ceptable and 77 percent frown on those doing otherwork on a computer or smartphone.

What can coaches do to make group coaching sessionsmeaningful and productive for all generations? Or influ-ence participants to pay attention and interact with others?

• Vary the Venue: If it is possible (such as in corpo-rate or local settings), you can alternate in-person andvirtual group meetings. Each generation will get someof what they prefer.

• Clarify the Agenda and Objectives: Coaches know thatin individual coaching “the agenda belongs to the client”and we make certain to clarify that agenda with each coach-ing session. In group coaching we need to provide someadditional structure, to make sure we adhere to the statedobjectives of the group and the ‘common thread.’ Thecoach is the synthesizer – and we can’t leave it to chance.

• Establish the Group Coaching Structure:- Allow time for each group member to be coached in

each session.- Respond to participants’ questions and requests.- Select a topic for each group session, with flexible

timing following the needs of the group. The group may

37VOLUME 9 NUMBER 1

Feature

“For the first time we nowhave four generations in the workplace – presentinginteresting challenges andopportunities to leaders,managers and coaches.”

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vote on the topic.- Each session is different; there is no rigid agenda, curricu-

lum or mold.- Establish ground rules for effective and respectful com-

munications.• Close with Continuity: Allow time for each group mem-

ber to make a commitment for action or change. Encouragefeedback on the session itself, and any possible improve-ments. Clarify the time for the next meeting, and what thegroup will receive in the interim.

Breaching the Generational Divide The generational labels are not designed to put people in arigid box but rather to supply insight that helps participants

get more out of coaching groups. Some generational general-izations are worth discussing with the group for their ownunderstanding of other viewpoints. Look for clues. Ask ques-tions and let them explain their own point of view. A fewexamples will trigger additional good questions:

• What has been your experience …?• What approach do you prefer …?• How do you prefer others to communicate with you …?The coach must park any generational bias and ensure

maximum inclusion of all generations. Following are somepoints to remember about the four generations.

The Silent Generation:• They are traditionalists who believe in top-down man-

Feature

“Coaches in all generations are positioned to understandintergenerational dynamics and provide group coachingexperiences that fully support each group member. ”

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39VOLUME 9 NUMBER 1

agement, loyalty and institution.• They need help to understand the views of other gen-

erations.• They need to be made aware of what happens if the gen-

eration gap isn’t closed.• Ask what has worked for them in the past and fit your

approach to that experience.

Boomers:• Need to explore work/life balance; it’s likely to be deficient.• Help them to understand the views of other generations.• Assess their comfort level with technology. • Understand retirement fears.• To motivate a Boomer: - promote and support lifelong learning- give them public recognition- provide visible perks- reward them personally and publicly for the many long

hours they give to their work.

Gen X:• They appreciate feedback and coaching on the spot,

e.g. role play.• Don’t count on a deep sense of mission or loyalty to an

organization. They don’t like corporate politics andbureaucracy and don’t trust institutions.

• They see every job as temporary. • They want to be viewed as individuals.• They don’t like long conversations or meetings.• They are good at working on their own.• Recognition and rewards must arrive quickly.• Gen Xers accept work/life balance and reject workaholism.

Millennials:• They grew up believing they could be anyone, do any-

thing and have anything they wanted.• They are more self-confident, more inclusive, more

communicative and connected, more adaptable than pre-vious generations.

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• They’re used to collaboration andteamwork, they can work creatively, andthey use technology as an extension ofthemselves.

• They insist on work/life balance andthey want to fit their work into their cho-sen lifestyle, not vice versa.

• They are enthusiastic about mentoringand coaching.

• They may need coaching in profes-sional behavior, basic writing, confiden-

tiality issues, critical thinking, or how togive and receive constructive criticism.

• They may lack awareness of how dif-ferent behaviors are perceived.

An important aspect of coaching groupsis building bridges. Coaches in all genera-tions are positioned to understand inter-generational dynamics and provide groupcoaching experiences that fully supporteach group member. We can support ourgroups in managing conflict, building effec-tive teams, developing leaders, buildingawareness and understanding, communicat-ing effectively, making decisions, resolvingconflict, setting boundaries and standards,and maintaining work/life balance. Whilewe’re doing all this we remain aware of dif-fering methodologies in coaching, manag-ing and leading employees of different gen-erations. That’s a lot! •

Feature

“The coach mustpark any genera-tional bias andensure maximuminclusion of allgenerations.”

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41VOLUME 9 NUMBER 1

perspectiveBy Deborah Grayson Riegel, MSW, ACC

We’ve all got it, and we all need it

Baggage

It was the gig of a lifetime: I wouldbe spending a month as a visiting pro-fessor of Executive Communicationsin the Beijing International MBAProgram at Peking University, China,where I would be coaching and train-ing senior leaders from around theworld to present their ideas andthemselves with power, passion andpracticality.

And all I could think about was,“can I pack my pillow?”

Well, not just my pillow, but thatwas certainly a big part of what Ineeded to make the trip work forme. I watched in awe as my husbandMichael (a Jewish male MarthaStewart) struggled valiantly to keepmy work clothes pressed, my toi-letries intact, and my electronicsuntangled as he stacked them into

one of my kids’ sleepaway camp duf-fle bags. These were the practicalmust-haves – the items I needed todo my job well. I had to dress appro-priately, I had to smell okay, and Ineeded my materials. My passportfell into this category (thankfullyit’s slim), as did my equally slendercredit cards, plane ticket and Man-darin phrase book.

But there was a whole other set ofmust-haves that I needed with me –my emotional packing list. As Michaelstacked and packed, I sat on the side-lines, waiting, breathing and prayingthat he wouldn’t announce, “sorry,you’re out of space” before he got tomy pile of possessions that represent-ed comfort and security.

Here’s what my head, heart andgut needed:

• Coffee• My favorite socks • Peanut butter, tuna and oatmeal • Celebrity magazines• And yes, my pillow.

Could I have left home withoutthese things? Of course I could have.They have pillows in China, and Star-bucks, and socks, and vegetarian food,

and probably even People magazine.But while being in a foreign countryfor a prolonged period of time awayfrom everyone I love, I wanted to haveguaranteed, consistent contentmentat my fingertips. And so, I packed forpeace of mind and practicality. Imean, Michael did. Thanks, honey.

Clearly, I’ve got baggage. Guesswhat? You do, too, and so do our

clients. And while ‘baggage’ has takenon a negative connotation, I mean itin the most positive, practical way:it’s the stuff we need to feel safe, sat-isfied and secure anywhere we are.

Noted psychologist AbrahamMaslow taught us that most healthyhumans pack (or unpack) our bag-gage in the same way. We are intrinsi-cally motivated to get our most basicneeds met before we can focus onhigher-order needs. Maslow’s “Hier-archy of Needs” describes our needsin this order:

• Level 1: Physiological Needs –food, water, shelter, air, sleep.

• Level 2: Safety and Security –wellbeing of body, health, property,family and livelihood.

• Level 3: Love and Belonging –friendship, family, community.

• Level 4: Esteem – confidence,achievement, respect for others,respect for self.

• Level 5: Self-Actualization –

“While ‘baggage’ has taken on a negativeconnotation, it’s the stuff we need to feelsafe, satisfied and secure anywhere we are.”

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doing what you were born to do andbeing who you were born to be.

Over the past few years, many of us– and our clients – became all tooaware of the order of these needs,even if we didn’t remember Maslow

from coaching school or collegepsych courses. The recession causeda regression, with many of us shiftingour focus from pursuing Level 4 and5 needs to securing our Level 1 and 2needs. Think about it: it’s impracti-cal, ineffective and ill-advised to beholding out for the job of your

dreams (Level 4 and 5 needs) if you’rerisking eviction because you can’t paythe rent (Level 1 and 2 needs). Inoticed that, for many of my clients,if their Level 3 needs were being met– friendship, family, community –

they found the reversal of fortune tobe more bearable. And for those of uswho are now beginning to feel recov-ery rounding the corner, thoughts ofLevel 4 and 5 needs are becomingmore present and more powerful.

Little did Maslow know that,more than 65 years after he devel-

oped his hierarchy, I’d be packing (ormore accurately, supervising thepacking of) massive duffle bags filledwith a full range of need-meetingstuff. I promise you, I wasn’t think-ing, “how Maslowian of me!” when Ilaid out my bounty, but now I can seethat I had to include things for eat-ing, for sleeping, for health and forwork before I could make room foranything else in my suitcase.

And after the coffee, the pillowand my socks, the most importantitem in my duffle bag is, in fact,another duffle bag. This one, how-ever, is empty. Its space is reservedfor all the presents I have promisedto bring my kids and my husbandwhen I come home next month.

Do they really, truly need them?You bet they do. •

perspective

“For those of us who are now beginning tofeel recovery rounding the corner, thoughtsof Level 4 and 5 needs are becoming morepresent and more powerful.”

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43VOLUME 9 NUMBER 1

Team coaching is a powerful and effective methodto leverage the combined strengths of members in anorganization, government or family. However, there aresome interesting dynamics that emerge when a coachengages an entire team.

In Relationship Systems work, we often talk aboutGhost Roles, by which we mean people who are no longerphysically present, but who nonetheless are still ‘haunt-ing’ the system. They can be friendly ghosts (a belovedformer CEO) or troublemakers (the accountant who wasfired for embezzling). There may be an uncompromisingcompany policy developed because of that person(checks require two signatures) or a wonderful traditionleft in their wake (the annual company picnic). Some-times the ghost is an event – for example, a downsizingthat involved a massive lay-off. Anything outside the cur-rent team or system that continues to have an impact.

Not long ago I worked with an organization thathired me to help clarify the roles of its executive direc-tor and board members. In the two days we workedtogether, the names of people no longer on the board ofdirectors kept coming up.

So there we were in a room full of ghosts. At first wecalled them by their given names, but then we explored

how ‘roles’ are not the same thing as ‘people.’ In systemswork, it’s key to remember that people inhabit the rolesthat are most closely aligned with their responsibilities,personal traits and system demands. Look for the qual-ities of those roles that are “haunting” the system.

For example, Mary is a controller who typically says“No” first, no matter the request. In Mary’s last threejobs, she played a similar role, and describes herself asthe ‘overly strict parent’ on a team. Ghost Roles oftenkeep a team ‘stuck’ in old patterns or beliefs, dampeninnovative thinking and imbue fear into the new andunknown. It was vital for this team’s success that we doa little “ghost busting” of our own.

Our cast of characters included:• The Wicked Witch – an obstructionist with a grat-

ing communication style, who cast a dark cloud in everymeeting.

• The Young Know-it-All – an arrogant, unseasonedand aggressive colleague who rarely elicited feedbackand direction from the team.

• The Greedy Landlord – a grasping and miserly‘scorekeeper’ bent on getting what was due to him.

The first thing we did was separate the people andtheir names from the qualities of those roles that were

By Alfred DePew, MA, PCC, ORSCC

corporate leadership

Ghost Roles in team coaching interventions

Who’s Haunting You?

“Ghost Roles often keep a team‘stuck’ in old patterns or beliefs,dampen innovative thinkingand imbue fear into the newand unknown.”

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‘haunting’ the system. I remindedthe team that the Wicked Witchprobably didn’t use that name onher business card, and that whatthey objected to was her cruelty, herthoughtlessness and her brusqueemails. Then we set about exorcis-ing the Wicked Witch (or at leasther traits) from the group.

‘Witchy-ness’ is a normal compo-nent (or role) in most systems. So wediscussed how it typically manifestedin the group, before designing analliance around how the team wouldaddress that quality when it emerged.Sometimes it was as simple as makinga joke: “I think the Wicked Witch isin the house!” or, “The Flying Mon-keys are landing in the board room.”Other times the group needed toconvene in order to coach each otherthrough the scenario, remembering

what the team agreed to do when thequalities re-emerged. Because theywill come back. Not the people, butthe qualities: witchy-ness, know-it-all-ness, greed, or disrespect. In everyinstance, though, having a sharedvocabulary around those occurrencesempowered the team.

So the next time you’re coachinga team, you may want to ask direct-ly, “Who’s haunting you?” •

corporate leadership

“The first thing wedid was separatethe people andtheir names fromthe qualities ofthose roles thatwere ‘haunting’ thesystem.”

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45VOLUME 9 NUMBER 1

industrynews

WHAT’S GOING ON IN THE COACHING WORLD

The rich history of the world’sleading global coaching organi-zation, the International Coach

Federation, was on display in FortWorth, Texas, USA during the lastweek of October, 2010. More than1,000 coaching professionals were onhand to celebrate the association’s15th anniversary during the 2010 ICFAnnual International Conference.

Beginning with the candor of itsfounder Thomas Leonard (and itshumble North American beginningsin the mid-1990s), the history of theICF was shared with attendeesthroughout the event. Many aspectsof the conference were infused witha taste of history and the ongoingjourney of the ICF – from the elabo-rate anniversary celebration at theopening reception down to severalof the association’s past presidentsserving as emcees at the generalsession.

World-class speakers, pertinenteducation tracks, thrilling networkingevents and an array of exhibitorsmade up the year’s most-anticipatedcoaching event. The Annesci Quartetand Anne Lise Kjaer headlined the2010 conference, serving as keynotepresenters at the general sessions.

Coupling beautiful music with aseries of concrete and interactiveteam exercises, the Annesci Quartetopened the conference on Thursday

with a new, interactive kind ofkeynote experience for attendees.

Friday’s general session allowed forthe introduction of a fresh addition tothe conference education line-up, theGlobal Conversations. The GlobalConversations created an intimateexperience that allowed attendees toengage with one another while explor-ing current coaching trends.

Prior to the Saturday keynote, theAnnual Business Meeting took place

over a luncheon where attendeeswere brought up to speed through theYear in Review presentation. Immedi-ately following, global futurist andtrends expert Anne Lise Kjaer tookthe stage as the final keynote of the2010 conference.

General Sessions anchored eachday’s education schedule and werefollowed by numerous options ofbreakout sessions for attendees tochoose from. New in 2010, confer-

By Ed Modell, PCC2011 President, International Coach Federation

Party Like It’s 1995A brief look at the 2010 ICF Annual International Conference

2010 ICF President Giovanna D’Alessio, MCC, thanks several ICF past presidents for their contri-bution during the opening anniversary conference reception.

“The Global Conversations created an intimate experience

that allowed attendees to engage with one another while

exploring current coaching trends.”

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industrynews

ence speakers were subject to morestringent guidelines, resulting in high-er quality presentations and moreattendee-to-attendee interaction ineach session.

Also new in 2010: a virtual book-store, complimentary audio recordingsfor attendees, and the return of graph-ic recordings (live artists capturedattendee’s ideas and expressions dur-ing the Global Conversation sessions).

In between educational breakout andgeneral sessions, attendees had multi-ple opportunities for networking, includ-ing an anniversary opening celebration,exhibitor showcase and “Dance in theMoment,” a relaxing (and fun!) close tothe otherwise bustling conferenceschedule.

Recognizing individuals, chaptersand organizations has become anannual tradition at the ICF Confer-ence. Three awards are presentedannually: the ICF President’s Award,the International Prism Award and theICF Chapter Awards.

In 2010, these recipients werehonored at special ceremonies inFort Worth:

• Kim Freedman of the ICF GeorgiaCoach Association (GCA) was select-ed by Giovanna D’Alessio, MCC, asthe recipient of the 2010 ICF Presi-dent’s Award. Freedman served as2010 president of GCA.

• Two organizations were presentedwith the 2010 ICF International PrismAward: Genentech (United States) andthe TINE Group (Norway). Both werechosen for their deep commitment toleadership development, the impact oftheir coaching initiatives and theirdiverse use of coaching.

• In addition, five chapters were rec-ognized in two awards categories fortheir local marketing and communityefforts. The recipients of the 2010 ICFChapter Awards were: ICF Turkey; ICFGreater Richmond Chapter; ICF France;ICF Los Angeles; and ICF Argentina.

On behalf of the InternationalCoach Federation, I would like to con-gratulate the 2010 recipients! More

information on ICF awards can befound at Coachfederation.org/awards.

When all was said and done, 40countries were represented by 1,007attendees and 47 speakers. This

global affair offered some 35 educa-tional breakout sessions, seven net-working events and 35 exhibits toattendees October 27-30. Thanks toall who made it a great success!

2010 ICF President Award winner Kim Freedom addresses conference attendees.

2010 ICF President Giovanna D’Alessio, MCC, welcomes ICF President-elect Ed Modell,PCC, into office.

“New in 2010, conference speakers were

subject to more stringent guidelines.”

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47VOLUME 9 NUMBER 1

industrynews

Small Chapter, Big ConferenceToronto conference earns kudos from participants

By Anita Greenberg

The ICF-GTA (Greater TorontoArea) Annual Fall Conference2010 took place on November

27, 2010, at the beautiful Old MillInn and Spa in Toronto, Ontario,Canada. With Christmas decorationsadorning the rooms and fireplacesglowing around them, the partici-pants enjoyed a day of learning,laughing, listening and eating!

The opening keynote speaker,Yvonne Oswald, began the day with alively discourse about how to releasenegative emotions and limitingbeliefs in less than a minute. Shewent on to demonstrate how body lan-guage can be used to communicateand direct a conversation and furtherinstructed the group on what lan-guage to use to get favorable results.

The workshop portion of her seminarincluded putting a participant on stageand in just a moment changing a loveof chocolate to a disgust for same!

Breakout sessions allowed partici-pants to choose the topic that was of

most interest to them. A couple ofthe more popular topics centeredaround Social Networking and Posi-tive Psychology.

After an afternoon break dubbed“the cookie monster break” filled withtreats of fruits and cookies, the clos-ing keynote speaker, Kim Redman,took the stage and made her presen-tation on Brain Tools and Templatesfor Success. Participants of the con-ference were instructed on NLP (neu-rolinguistic programming) and how thisscience can be applied to coaching.

Throughout the day, there wasmuch mingling with colleagues andnetworking to meet new ones. As anadded bonus, the participants weretreated to many prizes and giveawaysgenerously contributed by MainstreetCorporation, Bakery on Main, Pingo,choice Magazine, Rogers and Cather-ine Osborne and Chris McGirr in addi-tion to many items such as booksand CDs contributed by the speakers.

The ICF-GTA is a relatively smallchapter, but there was nothing small

about its Fall Conference. Surveyresults included comments such as”Excellent. Great organization, highquality throughout…”, “Loved thesetting. The ambiance (and smellfrom the fireplace) was superb. Welldone and many thanks for yourtremendous effort…” , “Excellentconference. Well organized and greatspeakers” and “Excellent confer-ence. Looking forward to next year.”

Thanks to all who attended andthose who helped make this such astandout event.

ICF-GTA (Greater Toronto Area) Fall Conference, 2010

The Old Mill Inn and Spa in Toronto, Ontario,Canada

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industrynews

PCAM Big On LearningsMichigan conference takes coaches beyond the crossroads

By Dan Leask

2010 PCAM Conference Chairperson

The 7th annual ProfessionalCoaches Association of Michi-gan (PCAM) Conference was

hosted this year in Lansing, Michiganon November 12 and 13 with thetheme “Coaching at the Crossroads.”This was a very successful two-dayevent, drawing 100 participants fromMichigan and other states, includingOhio, Illinois, Indiana and Arizona.The conference even had an interna-tional flair, as there were attendeesfrom several countries, includingCanada and Germany.

We were honored to have two greatkeynote speakers at our conference.

The Friday session opened with LauraBerman Fortgang, MCC, who has writ-ten several books and has been fea-tured on Oprah, The Today Show andGood Morning America. The Saturdaysession was kicked off by Ed Modell,PCC, who is the incoming 2011 ICFpresident and has a great backgroundin coaching. Both speakers were fabu-lous and did a good job of tying in the“Coaching at the Crossroads” theme.They provided interactive Q&A, whichlaid an outstanding foundation for inter-action and sharing amongst attendees.

There were 12 breakout sessions,led by facilitators who volunteeredtheir time to share valuable knowl-edge with others at the conference.The breakouts were focused on cover-

ing the needs of new, intermediateand advanced coaches. Breakoutswere divided into three tracks focus-ing on the Business, Work and Devel-opment of Coaching. The attendeesreally seemed to connect with thebreakout sessions and discoveredmany new learnings and ideas.

There was a growing energy in theroom as the conference progressed;you could feel our coaching communi-ty joining together. PCAM is lookingforward to a great 2011 year and mak-ing a real difference here in Michiganand the surrounding regions. We invitethe entire ICF Community to attendthe annual PCAM Conference in fall2011 (see “Save These Dates” calen-dar on page 49). •

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Save These Dates!

49VOLUME 9 NUMBER 1

industrynews

ICF Keynote speaker: Michael J. Gelb, interna-tionally renowned author, speaker, and con-sultant (and, yes, juggler) helps individualsand organizations worldwide find innovativesolutions to their most important challenges.

ICF European Coaching

Conference (ECC Madrid 2011)

June 16-18, 2011

Madrid, Spainwww.coachingconferencemadrid2011.com

ICF Annual International Conference

September 24-27, 2011

Mandalay BayLas Vegas, Nevada, USAwww.coachfederation.org/conference

ICF Latin American Coaching Conference

November 11-12, 2011

Santiago, Chilewww.felicidadicf.cl

MICHAEL J. GELB

2011 PCAM 8th Annual Conference

(Professional Coaches Association

of Michigan)

November 11-12, 2011

Radisson HotelLansing, Michigan, USA

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LAS VEGAS, NEVADA

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LAS CONDES - SANTIAGO

5th Annual Western Canada

Coaches Conference

April 29 - May 1, 2011

Fairmont Banff Springs HotelBanff, Alberta, Canadawww.calgarycoaches.com

Iconic and historic The Fairmont Banff Springs Hotel

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By Kevin Young, BSET

One of my passions in life iswriting. Although I do plentyof it during my day, I’ve

never been formally published so it’sbeen a long-standing dream. Thatmay be about to change thanks tothe Law of Attraction ...

We attended a conference lastweekend in another city about anhour away. At the conference were anumber of vendors selling associat-ed products, one of which was anindustry magazine. I took a brieflook but decided not to subscribe,yet something about the magazinekept sticking in my head.

On the second day, as we were dri-ving to the conference, we came upbehind a white Mercedes that wasgoing about the same speed as us.We eventually passed it but duringthe hour-long ride it was always with-in sight.

Imagine my surprise when, as wepulled into the hotel where the con-ference was being held, the whiteMercedes pulled in right behind us.As the driver got out, I recognizedhim as the publisher of the maga-zine I was interested in. During abreak, I went to his table, chatted a

bit about the magazine and decidedto sign up.

When lunch arrived, I got to thebuffet ahead of my wife due to adelayed workshop, filled my plateand returned to our lunch table.When my wife arrived at the table 15minutes later, she had the magazinepublisher in tow! They had stoodnext to each other in the lunch line,started talking and discovered thathe was also a big follower of Law ofAttraction. This certainly explainedthe white Mercedes!

We had a great conversation overlunch, talking about LoA and ourindustry. As a passing comment hehappened to mention that he was

looking for articles for his magazine,and asked if we might have an inter-est in writing for it. Of course I saidyes! I then recalled that he was theone in the white Mercedes andshared that story with him. As a fol-lower of LoA, he totally got the con-nection that brought us together andwe all shared a good laugh over it.

So, once again, The Universe hadlined up all the necessary steps forme to achieve one of my dreams –to become a published writer – andit did so effortlessly. All I had to dowas act on the various impulses Ireceived along the way. Now I needanother dream! I think instead ofwhite, I’ll make mine black ... •

SHARING THOUGHTS AND WISDOM TOWARD BETTER COACHING


The White Mercedes Paying attention to Law of Attraction cues

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“Imagine my surprise

when, as we pulled

into the hotel where

the conference was

being held, the white

Mercedes pulled in

right behind us.”

“Once again, The Universe had lined up all

the necessary steps for me to achieve one

of my dreams.”

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Documents

Choice v9n1 Issue 0411mLmY