Argumentative Essay

Running Header: PARENTING STYLES EFFECT ON CHILDREN’S BEHAVIOR 0

western kentucky university

Parenting Styles Effect On Children’s Behavior

Authoritarian style parents may be inhibiting their children.

Claire

5/6/2013

This paper draws conclusions from various resources that demonstrate how certain parenting approaches are damaging to a child’s self-esteem, social skills, coping strategies, and can generate severe anxiety disorders that last throughout the life span. Other parenting approaches are discussed and examined to surpass possible negative behaviors and disorders. Key terms: Authoritarian, Authoritative, Permissive

PARENTING STYLES EFFECT ON CHILDREN’S BEHAVIOR 1

Recently deemed “the worst mother in the world,” Lenore Skenazy, author of Free-

Range Parenting, is shifting the ideas of parents across the country (Skenazy, 2010). Skenazy let

her nine year old son take the subway train in New York City by himself- and lived to tell about

it. Before your mind goes wandering into the ominous world of criminals and psychopaths, let’s

remember one thing: he made it safely. Granted, Lenore Skenazy and her son, now fourteen,

have practiced a more non-traditional route of parenting; there is something that audiences can

take away from their experiences as a free-range duo. Of course, children need discipline in their

lives to prepare them for an independent future, but there is a line that can be crossed. Soon-to-be

parents are submerged into a land of questions and unknowns about everything from the nursery

décor, safety products, old wives tales, and horror stories from the delivery room. There are

guides, books, and blogs that can give you all sorts of information about those unknowns, but

there really is no guide on how to raise a successful child, only strategies.

These future parents as well as present parents should analyze and question the three

main parenting strategies as Lenore Skenazy has previously done. One of which, is the

authoritarian parenting style that exemplifies excessive amounts of control over the children and

is also commonly referred to as helicopter parenting, tiger parenting, and over-parenting. In

contrast, permissive parents offer little to no control over their children which generally results in

a diminished sense of authority and a heightened presence of adolescent aggression (Hoeve,

2007). Finally, there is the authoritative approach which acts as a median between the

authoritarian and permissive parenting styles that will be further discussed as the most beneficial

of the three. Nonetheless, I strongly discourage all parents from pursuing the authoritarian


parenting strategy as it generates inhibited behaviors, social disorders, as well as severe anxiety

disorders in children that evolve well into their adult years.

Naturally, parents want to do what is best for their children and endeavor to be great

influences on their lives. Educating one’s self on the outcomes of the different parenting

strategies is important because it can become the basis of you and your child’s relationship. A

study done in the past year indicates the importance of this attachment and how it relates to

general anxiety disorders (GAD):

[The] findings revealed that perceived insecure attachment relationships, marked

by lower levels of trust, poorer communication, and greater feelings of alienation,

were more common in individuals with the diagnosis of GAD than individuals

free of this diagnosis. [O]ur results show the importance of encouraging paternal

involvement in adolescents, as well as the importance of involving fathers, in

addition to mothers, in research and treatment of GAD symptoms in adolescence

(Branje, 2012).

Likewise, Peter Muris (2004), author of “Behavioral Inhibition as a Risk Factor for the

Development of Childhood Anxiety Disorders: A Longitudinal Study” noted throughout his

work that a secure attachment between parent and child was one of the variables that acted as a

force field against anxiety and social disorders. Over the course of this study, one of the things

that Muris discovered was that children who exemplified inhibited behaviors paired along with

an insecure parent-child attachment were among the highest recorded anxiety levels (2004). Two

of which are characteristics that can be described in an authoritarian home environment. Diana

Baumrind from the University of California, an expert on child development and parental

control, describes the authoritarian parent as one who, “attempts to shape, control, and evaluate


the behavior and attitudes of the child in accordance with a set of standard of conduct, usually an

absolute standard, theologically motivated and formulated by a higher authority. She [He] values

obedience as a virtue and favors punitive, forceful measures to curb self-will at points where the

child’s actions or beliefs conflict with what she [he] thinks is right conduct.” This type of

parenting style may come across as cold, harsh, and as a dictatorship. Restricting online activity

even with parental supervision, banning television, limiting social time or friends, and

controlling when or what a child is eating are examples of powers a tiger parent might practice

for regular discipline (Mann, 2013). If you, or anyone else you may know, are using such

punishments then those are signs of being an authoritarian parent who crosses the line from

discipline to an overabundance of control.

Growing up in a public school exposed me to a very diverse culture, and throughout the

years I was able to draw some of my own conclusions about my peers and the way they were

raised. At that time in my life teachers were still using alphabetical order to arrange us in our

seats and I began to develop a close friendship with the Asian girl whose last name was

coincidentally similar to mine. I called her Abigail. In class she kept to herself except to me,

which could’ve thrived from convenience of her not having to raise her timid voice to create

conversation, or pure curiosity of my capricious personality. Eventually we became inseparable.

My parents didn’t mind my friendship with Abigail because while we were both in the Gifted

and Talented Program at school, she excelled in all areas and was always working on getting

ahead in class even if it meant skipping recess. As parents they valued that passion towards

education but I soon learned that it was persistence from her own parents that she was actually

exercising. After a while, Abigail invited me over to her house to meet her family and play

games one weekend afternoon. The atmosphere was drastically different than when we had


played at my house. As soon as I had entered Abigail’s house I was given rules to adhere to. One

of the rules was that neither of us was allowed to play in any room other than the living room or

kitchen where her parents were able to supervise. I had not been used to parents distrusting me

like that before. After that weekend I found myself becoming more distant with my friend and

turning to other acquaintances I had made at school. For some reason I felt as though Abigail had

expected that to happen and didn’t seem to mind. Throughout our school years our friendship

became merely a thing of the past but we managed to smile or nod whenever we came across

each other in the hallways. Abigail’s parents were heavily involved in the PTA and volunteered

at our school quite often so when news of their failing marriage broke everyone seemed to know

or be talking about it, except Abigail. It was as if she had just disappeared while her parents

continued putting on a façade of marital bliss. To Abigail her whole life structure had crumbled

and the only way she found a release was her books and unfortunately, drugs. She was not taking

any solace from anyone and had further pushed herself away from people that cared about her.

As someone who had been let inside her world at home I knew how much her parents were of

influence to her. I questioned whether or not they had crippled her by making her so reliant on

them, instead of letting her find things out on her own and growing into a stronger, more resilient

person. Come to find out, regardless of the humanistic and religious values that most parents

seem to value most when parenting, there is science behind how Abigail’s authoritarian parents

steered the way for this type of outcome. Children, like Abigail, are raised in such a way that

causes inhibited behaviors, social awkwardness, perfectionism, and insecure attachments or

relationships which has only further secured my conclusions about my friend and the

authoritarian parenting style.


There have been copious amounts of research regarding the effects of different parenting

styles that can explain why it is that my childhood friend reacted to situations the way that she

did. A significant correlation between over-parenting with social and anxiety disorders has

appeared in an article published in The Journal of Child and Family Studies (2004) which

analyzes the subject more into depth.

During our first classes together when Abigail was timid and did not show interest in

getting to know the other classmates she expressed behavioral inhibition. Inhibition can be

defined more as “a temperamental trait characterized by a relatively consistent pattern of

behavioral and emotional responses to unfamiliar people and novel stimuli and situations,”

which explains why she responded with “restraint, caution, and withdrawal” (Muris, 2004). To

illustrate the idea that over parenting results in an anxious parent-child relationship as well as

disorders among children, a longitudinal study was performed by Biedermen (1991), expert

writer for Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, that assessed

124 behaviorally inhibited children and 137 controlled children over the course of three years.

Relying on direct observation and questionnaires, researchers analyzed the interactions between

parents and their children. Participating parents were mailed a questionnaire to determine what

kind of parenting style they portrayed most. Questionnaires had forty items that correlated with

four characteristics pertaining to child-rearing: emotional warmth, rejection, overprotection, and

anxious rearing (Muris, 2004). Parents scored their responses based on a 1-4 scale where 1 meant

no to never, and four meaning yes most of the time. Questions that the parents responded to

ranged from, “When your child comes home, he/she has to tell you what he/she has been doing,”

to measure overprotection and, “You are scared when your child does something on his/her

own,” to analyze anxious rearing (Muris, 2004). A second questionnaire attempted to measure


child anxiety by asking questions for the parents to answer. For example: “My child doesn’t like

being away from his/her family.” This type of question correlates with anxiety disorders and

attachment (Muris, 2004). Frequency of symptoms was also measured amongst these

questionnaires to determine the severity and the correlation between symptoms and causes.

Secondly, the team of researchers visited the children at their schools and home for direct

observation. The children were not informed they were being observed as to not skew any

behaviors. During the study, observers visited the groups of subjects on three different occasions

over the course of three years. To the observers, it was easy to determine which children were

considered shy and unwilling to engage in new situations or produced an emotional response to

novel stimuli (Oort, 2010).

Results of these combined led to a distinct correlation between the tested variables and

parent-child relationship and were consistent on all occasions. Furthermore, these tests also are

used as a basis to predict specific DSM-defined anxiety orders (Oort, 2010). Figures displayed in

the original text shows that authoritarian-like parents on occasion 1 significantly predicted

symptoms of anxiety disorders on occasion 2. Between the observations and questionnaires, both

showed that, “children who were defined as high on behavioral inhibition and insecurely

attached displayed the highest levels of anxiety symptoms over time, whereas children who were

classified as low on inhibition and securely attached exhibited the lowest anxiety levels,” as

noted in The Journal of Family and Consumer Sciences. The research also further indicated that

“overprotective/anxious parents may hinder their behaviorally inhibited children from

developing effective coping strategies and acquiring adequate social skills, which is likely to

result in avoidance of ‘anxious’ situations. As a consequence, these children remain inhibited or

even become more inhibited,” states Muris (2003). It is safe to assume that the adverse life event


of Abigail’s broken family and her inability to cope is in direct correlation with the fact that

behaviorally inhibited children under authoritarian rule are more susceptible to anxiety disorders

and find it more difficult to independently adjust to new situations (Brozina, 2006). Instead of

dealing with novel stimuli in an approachable manner, it has been repeatedly proven that those

with social dysfunction seem to retreat from their surroundings and become unhealthily

submissive. What parents need to understand is that in order to raise a child to become more

successful on their own, they must allow them to think and act on their own as well. Altogether,

these results confirmed my ideas about my childhood friend and even more so made me question

the priorities of these types of parents.

Authoritarian parents prefer to practice harsher disciplines in order to enhance what they

may perceive as success which usually comes in the form of a higher academia. While parents

with this type of influence have been supported by evidence suggesting that they raise children

with higher academic successes, they also lack necessary life skills (Choi, n.d). Choi, the author

of, “Does Science Support the Punitive Parenting of “Tiger Mothering?” made the connection

between tiger parenting and the effect of different cultures. Because Abigail’s family was

inherently Asian, cultural differences may have played a major role in her parent’s disciplinary

style. Choi’s article describes how different cultures overseas practice this type of parenting

more than any in the U.S. because they emphasize the notion of a hierarchy within the family.

Initially, authoritarian control was not recognized in the United States as a parental discipline

during the early eras of development because families directed their children to do the will of

God instead of following their own desires (Dewey, 1916). Over time, the religious influence

was modified by sources of parental education derived from schools and hospitals that gaged

different disciplines that carried a more humanistic approach (Dewey, 1916). As the United


States is a melting pot of cultures, it is a melting pot of cultural parenting strategies as well.

Presently, we see children growing up too reliant on their parents and unable to reach a self-

governing state because of firming attitudes towards the control parents feel they must acquire.

In order to reverse this growing effect on children, we need to reevaluate what has caused this

inflated pressure and not be so concerned with the limitations of our children, but be more aware

of the possibilities they could have in store. Parents whose priorities fall within following a strict

lifestyle regime diminish the natural relationship with their child that would enable them to feel

secure, less anxious, and more confident in their decision making skills. Dewar, a writer for

parentingscience.com, comments that while authoritarian families may be relatively well-

behaved, they also tend to be less resourceful and have an undeveloped self-esteem which again,

raises questions about our priorities as a parent (Dewar, 2011). Authoritarian households hold

high standards beginning at young ages which can wilt away a young mind’s creativity into a

mind of conformity (Baumrind, 2013).

Conformity in which alludes to perfectionism has also been found to coincide negatively

with authoritarian parenting. A recent study published in the Personality and Individual

Differences Journal examined the relationship between perceived parental characteristics and

perfectionism in both men and women. Involved in the study were one-hundred and forty-five

Asian-Americans and 192 Caucasian-American college students that also were included in the

scientific examination regarding the relationship between perfectionism and their overall

academic achievements (Kawamura, 2002). In general, the results found that the authoritarian

parenting style was directly related to maladaptive, but not adaptive, components of

perfectionism in Caucasian-American men and women and Asian-American women. The

adaptive component of perfectionism was related to higher grade-point averages for women in


both ethnic groups but not for the men (Kawamura, 2002). This particular study was significant

in proving that children, and specifically more so young women, subjected to these types of

parental authorities feel an immense amount pressure to live up to their parent’s well-regarded

standards. Such strive for perfectionism keeps them from developing social skills imperative to a

well-rounded life and sustaining a healthy self-esteem. This leads to an ultimatum for parents:

what is more important for your children?

As described before, there is a middle ground between the ways of Lenore Skenazy’s

permissive parenting approach and Abigail’s authoritarian family. Pulling from the positive

attributes of either restraint, authoritative parenting provides a balance in discipline as well as

securing a stable relationship between the children and their parents which can ultimately subdue

the potential of depressive mannerisms, anxiety disorders, low self-esteem, and lack of

resiliency. Professor Diana Baumrind of California describes the suggested authoritative style as,

“an attempt to direct the child’s activities in a rational, issue-oriented manner. She [He]

encourages verbal give and take, shares with the child the reasoning behind her [his] policy, and

solicits his [her] objections when he [she] refuses to conform. Both autonomous self-will and

disciplined conformity are valued by the authoritative parent (2013).” In other words, the

authoritative style encompasses daily compromises, reasoning, and an open communication line

between the parents and their children that when adequately expressed, their relationship forms a

foundation of mutual respect that encourages freedom as much as responsibility.

In spite of the research demonstrating authoritarian-raised children as being more

successful in academics, there is research disregarding those findings which also offers

validation that authoritative parenting does not stifle learning, but further facilitates children’s

education. For instance, The Society for Research in Child Development observed 120


adolescents varying in age over a period of time in order to examine the three different aspects of

authoritative parenting (acceptance, psychological autonomy, and behavioral control), and if they

not only accompanied academic success, they facilitated it (Mounts, 1989). Results of the study

did positively indicate that, “(1) authoritative parenting facilitates adolescents' academic success,

(2) each component of authoritativeness studied makes an independent contribution to

achievement, and (3) the positive impact of authoritative parenting on achievement is mediated

at least in part through the effects of authoritativeness on the development of a healthy sense of

autonomy and, more specifically, a healthy psychological orientation toward work (Mounts,

1989).” The study also alleged that the subjects who described their parents as treating them,

“warmly, democratically, and firmly,” exuded a more positive outlook which translated into

better academic success (Mounts, 1989).

Overall, the authoritative parenting style builds a positive outlook for parents and

children that each can grow and learn from whether in the educational field or daily life.

Challenge yourself or parents and guardians around you to reevaluate punishments, discipline,

and the lines of communication you keep within your family. Knowing that an authoritarian

parenting approach causes harmful persistence towards perfection, anxiety disorders, inhibited

social behaviors, low self-esteem, and the inability to adapt properly is necessary information

that will assist you in avoiding those behaviors, and leading you to adopt the characteristics of an

authoritative parent.

As a mother of an investigative, happy toddler, I’ve found that it’s really not about

reading the cliché books that seem to only provide you with the here and now, but rather the

research you do on your own to find out what you can pertaining to the future. Recognizing the

causes and effects of your actions and acknowledging the way you are perceived as a parent


through the eyes of your children is an important tool in guiding a family towards success and

happiness. Abigail’s parents could have never predicted that one day things might not have

worked out for their family structure and how their roles as parents would change the course of

their daughter’s life so drastically. In fact, no one can and therefore it is imperative that while

being in the role as a parent you allow your child to grow and think as an individual as my

parents did for me, and how I plan to for my children. As for Lenore Skenazy, well, I’m not

promoting that anyone go send their child into the wilderness without memorizing the basics

first. Nonetheless, explore your boundaries, responsibilities, freedom, authority, and willingness

to compromise as an authoritative household and relax knowing that you did what you could to

prevent disorders derived from an authoritarian environment.


Resources

Baumrind, D. (2013). Parental control and parental love. Children, 12, 230-234.

Baumrind, D. (2013). Child care practices anteceding three patterns of preschool behavior.

Genetic Psychology, 905.

Branje, S. (2012). Longitudinal associations between perceived parent-adolescent attachment

relationship quality and generalized anxiety disorder symptoms in adolescence. Journal

of Abnormal Child Psychology, Retrieved from

http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10802-012-9613-z/fulltext.html

Brozina, K. (2006). Behavioral inhibition, anxious symptoms, and depressive symptoms: A

short-term prospective examination of a diathesis-stress model. Behavior Research and

Therapy, 44, 1337-1346.

Choi, C. (n.d.). Does science support the punitive parenting of "tiger mothering"? Retrieved

from http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=tiger-mother-punitive-parenting

Dewar, G. (2011). Authoritarian parenting: How does it affect the kids? Retrieved from

http://www.parentingscience.com/authoritarian-parenting.html

Dewey, J. (n.d.) Democracy and education. New York: Macmillan, 1916.

Hoeve, M. (2007). Trajectories of delinquency and parenting styles. Journal of Abnormal Child

Psychology, 10.

Kawamura, K. Y., Frost, R. O., & Harmatz, M. G. (2002). The relationship of perceived

parenting styles to perfectionism. Personality and Individual Differences, 32(2), 317-327.


Mann, D. (2013). 16 signs you're too strict with your kids. Retrieved from

http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/16-signs-youre-too-strict-with-kids

Mounts, N. (1989). Child development: Authoritative parenting, psychosocial maturity, and

academic success among adolescents. (6 ed., Vol. 60, pp. 1424-1436). Wiley.

www.jstor.org

Muris, P. (2004). Behavioral inhibition as a risk factor for the development of childhood anxiety

disorders: A longitudinal study. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 20(2), 157-170.

Muris, P. (2003). A questionnaire for screening a broad range of DSM- defined anxiety disorder

symptoms in clinically referred children and adolescents. Journal of Child Psychology

and Psychiatry, 45, 813-820.

Oort, Floor, Verhulst, Frank, Ormel, Johan, Huizink, & Anja. (2010). Prospective community

study of family stress and anxiety in (pre)adolescents: The TRAILS study. European

Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 19,483-491. doi: 10.1007/s00787-009-0058-z Retrieved

from: Springer Science & Business Media B.V.

Skenazy, L. (2010). Free-range kids. (1 ed.). Jossey-Bass.


Introduction:

Leads in with a recent parenting issue about Lenore Skenazy and free-range parenting which opens up the topic of parenting and briefly states different parenting strategies.

Argument/Thesis:

Close summation of key terms and provide thesis argument and statement containing viewpoint discouraging authoritarian parenting and suggesting authoritative.

Body:

1. Correlation between GAD (anxiety disorders) study and the authoritarian parenting style. 2. How GAD can also come from insecure attachment which is a variable used in the study

performed. Insecure attachment creates inhibited behaviors that influence other negative outcomes of authoritarian parenting.

3. Personal story of childhood friend that exhibited these behaviors.4. How Abigail’s story relates to the effects of harsh parenting according to the longitudinal

study and observations.5. Possible explanation or positive to parents who choose to practice the authoritarian

approach. Culture differences/academically driven.6. Perfectionism diverged in authoritarian upbringing.7. Positive parenting approach emphasized: authoritative parenting style defined as well as

its’ main positives.8. Study proven that the positive of the authoritarian rule-high educational success-is not as

distinctive as some may try to say in defense.9. Review of potential negative outcomes and call for action.10. Stating ethos as a mother and the urgency to acquire knowledge of parenting strategies

and characteristics.

Resources:

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