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emanation emanation (m' -n'sh n) n. Something that issues from a source.Emma-nation emmanation (m' -n'sh n) n. Family, friendsand thewinning bettors in her birth poolcelebrating the arrival of Emma Grace Fincher.

Believe It or Not!

Emmas birth poolwas won by

Des Peres neighbor Sharon Hughes,

whose birthday isalso August 24 and

whose mom wasnamed Emma;

husband Als momwas named

Grace.

TheThe

PP ww lik Timeslik TimesVOL. XXI, No. 1 Copiedwrong 2009 J. Pawlik Distributed in Quantity to Only Our Closest Friends Pricele$$

2009 Emma Arrives!

ST. PETERS -UPI (United Pawlik International)- The cycle of life continues with thearrival of Emma Grace Fincher, Juliasfirst child, on August 24 in Marietta,Georgia on a perfectly beautiful Mondaymorning. The stars, the sun, the moon(and the obstetrician) were all inalignment as a perfect little girlmeasuring 6 lb. 13 oz. and 17 1/2 longarrived to the delight of family andfriends on high alert from coast to coast.True to her generation, Emma was onFacebook within hours of arrival!

Fourteen weeks old as this is written,Emma has proven to be a remarkablyeasy and healthy baby who has grown toover 12 pounds. Antebellum peace wasrestored in the family once Julias friend,a.k.a. the baby whisperer, showedJulia and Thomas the fine art of swaddling as shown below.

Happily, this

newskill

set

resulted in Emmas sleeping throughmost of the night within a few weeks of her arrival. Her parents, both sets of grandparents, friends and family will begathering in St. Louis over Christmas for her baptism which will be presided over

by the family patriarch, great-grandfather Mac . Alexs dad, now 91, was honored

this year for his20+ years of service to junior golf at KenwoodGolf andCountry Clubwith the creationof the MacHoward

Trophy , which will be awarded annuallyto the best junior golfers at the club.

Meanwhile, Julia achieved the trust-

worthy age of 30 this fall and, after 12weeks ace-ing Motherhood 101 withEmma, recently returned to work atGlaxoSmithKlinewhere she wasimmediately confronted by the challengeof accomplishing 28 hours of work in a24 hour day. Fortunately she has had theable assistance of husband Thomas (andhis flexible flying schedule); daycare

provided by a neighbor just down thestreet; and emotional support from her gay neighbors, John and Jeff, who

volunteered themselves asand were

not making this upEmmas fairygodfathers.Nursing has turned out to be a terrific

career choice for Jennifer , now 26, whohas taken to it with an intensity rarelyseen since she discovered rap music inher early teens. After a year as an R.N.on the medical-surgical floor (translation: All the other floors all fullright now), she transferred in

November to the Intensive Care Unit (or ICU). She is receiving a lot of additional

All The NewsThat FitsThe Print

ChristmasEdition

2009

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training that will enable her to become afloating nurse which appeals to her appetite for variety. She is enjoying allthe city has to offerrestaurantsconcertspartieseven parades! Shesalso our go-to person on contemporarylife when her out-of-touch parents arestumped by crossword puzzle or triviaclues.

Je n

n if e r

was joined by her boyfriend, Grant, inthe obligatory pilgrimage to Emmasongoing welcoming party. Once there,Aunt Jen showed a surprisingly soft-hearted streak, heretofore not bestowedupon infants of non-herpetologicalcreatures. Hmmmmmm..

At age 24, Laura is beginning her second winter in Chicago, where she isenjoying the worthy work of administering a team of outside reps who

promote the use of compact fluorescentlight bulbs (or CFLs) on behalf of the

electric utility, CommEd. Like her sisters before her she, too, has landlordstories to tell now, but is thrivingnonetheless and looking forward to asecond year with her roommate, another Laura and a fellow grad of Nerinx HallHigh School. Lots of other ex-patsfrom St. Louis and Spring Hill Collegelive in Chicago, too, so her time is fullyoccupied.

Loyal readers will recall Laurasinterest in southern beaches (evidenced

by the time she spent partying on them)during her time in Mobile, and she wasable to combine that love of beacheswith her concern for the environment byrunning a project to cleanup a city

beach on Lake Michigan in Chicagothis past summer. Unsurprisingly, her

plan called for her parents to be keymembers of the haul the party stuff tothe beach and help cleanup, but overallthe event resulted in the removal of 3,233 fragments of glass and 2,496fragments of plastic (among other things) from the 500 of beachfront wewere responsible for. Please dont ask how the actual counts were arrived at as

it makes your editor weepy during theholiday season. Laura and boyfriend Nate also made the pilgrimage to St.Louis to see Emma and help Juliacelebrate hitting the big 3-0.

You know things were changing whenAlex beganreferring toJulia as... er.Emmasmother, or that youngwoman carrying

Emma, mygranddaughter.Well, OK, itwasnt as bad as

that, but fellow grandmothers willunderstand the feeling and Alex washappy to discover that being agrandmother is even better than

promised. She sees Emma at least everymonth or soand everyone seems to bethe better for it. Her golf game improvedthis year, she keeps up with her dadevery day and, with 11 years under her

belt at Our Lady of Lourdes parish,remains a stalwart member of the of staff.

Grandpa s year (gee, that still sounds

strange) was educational as usual withstill more new challenges hovering justover the horizon. He hasnt broken 80 atgolf yet, but got closer than ever. And hehad a pretty good garden, too, startingtomatoes from seed in March andharvesting our last herbs in earlyDecember. Look for bumper crops of strawberries and raspberries in 2010!

Effects of the ObamaRecession

Special to The Pawlik Times

Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers and Wall Street

acquisitions, it was announced thisweek at a press conference that

Christmas and Chanukah will merge.

An industry source said that the dealhad been in the works for about 1300

years.

While details were not available at press time, it is believed that the

overhead cost of having twelve days of Christmas and eight days of Chanukah

was becoming prohibitive for bothsides. By combining forces, we're told,

the world will be able to enjoyconsistently high-quality service duringthe Fifteen Days of Chrismukah, as the

new holiday is being called.

Massive layoffs are expected, withlords a-leaping and maids a-milking being the hardest hit. As part of the

conditions of the agreement, the letterson the dreydl, currently in Hebrew, will be replaced by Latin, thus becoming

unintelligible to a wider audience.

One of the sticking points holding upthe agreement for at least three hundred

years was the question of whether Jewish children could leave milk andcookies for Santa even after having

eaten meat for dinner. A breakthroughcame last year, when Oreos were

finally declared to be Kosher. All sidesappeared happy about this.

A spokesman for Christmas, Inc.,declined to say whether a takeover of Kwanzaa might not be in the works aswell. He merely pointed out that, wereit not for the independent existence of

Kwanzaa, the merger betweenChristmas and Chanukah might indeed be seen as an unfair cornering of the

holiday market. Fortunately for allconcerned, he said, Kwanzaa will help

to maintain the competitive balance.He then closed the press conference by

leading all present in a rousingrendition of Oy Vey, All

Ye Faithful.