ContentsCover

Cast

Prologue

Chapter1

Chapter2

Chapter3

Chapter4

Chapter5

Chapter6

Chapter7

Chapter8

Chapter9

Chapter10

Chapter11

Chapter12

Chapter13

Chapter14

Chapter15

Chapter16

Chapter17

Chapter18

Chapter19

Chapter20

Chapter21

Chapter22

Chapter23

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Chapter24

Chapter25

Chapter26

Chapter27

Chapter28

Chapter29

Chapter30

Chapter31

Chapter32

Chapter33

Chapter34

Chapter35

Resources

Acknowledgements

Copyright

PartsUnlimited

PartsUnlimited:BusinessExecutives

SteveMasters,CEO,actingCIO

DickLandry,CFO

SarahMoulton,SVPofRetailOperations

MaggieLee,SeniorDirectorofRetailProgramManagement

BillPalmer,VPofITOperations,formerDirectorofMidrangeTechnologyOperations

WesDavis,DirectorofDistributedTechnologyOperations

BrentGeller,LeadEngineer

PattyMcKee,DirectorofITServiceSupport

JohnPesche,ChiefInformationSecurityOfficer(CISO)

ChrisAllers,VPofApplicationDevelopment

PartsUnlimited:Board

BobStrauss,LeadDirector,formerChairman,formerCEO

ErikReid,BoardCandidate

NancyMailer,ChiefAuditExecutive

FORIMMEDIATERELEASEFriday,August29

Company:PartsUnlimited(PAUD)

Rating:SELL

PriceTarget:$8(current$13)

Effectiveimmediately,PartsUnlimitedCEO,SteveMasters,issteppingdownfromhisroleaschairmanaftereightyearsofholdingthatposition.BoardDirectorBobStrauss,whoservedascompanychairmanandCEOtwodecadesago,isreturningfromretirementtoassumetheroleofchairman.

PartsUnlimitedstockhastumbled19percentinthelast30daysunderheavytrading,down52percentfromitspeakthreeyearsago.Thecompanycontinuestobeoutmaneuveredbyitsarchrival,famousforitsabilitytoanticipateandinstantlyreacttocustomerneeds.PartsUnlimitednowtrailsthecompetitioninsalesgrowth,inventoryturnsandprofitability.

Thecompanyhaslongpromisedthatits“Phoenix”programwillrestoreprofitabilityandclosethegapbytightlyintegratingitsretailingande-commercechannels.Alreadyyearslate,manyexpectthecompanytoannounceanotherprogramdelayinitsanalystearningscallnextmonth.

WebelievethatinstitutionalinvestorssuchasWayne-YokohamapressuredBobtoreconfiguretheboardasthefirstofmanyactionstorighttheshipinElkhartGrove.Agrowingnumberofinvestorsarepushingformoresignificantleadershipchangesandstrategicoptions,suchassplittingupthecompany.

DespiteMasters’pastachievementsthattransformedPartsUnlimitedintooneofthetopautomotivepartsmanufacturersandretailers,webelievesplittingupthechairmanandCEOrolesislongoverdue.PartsUnlimitedneedsfreshleadership,eitherfromtheoutsideorfromwithin.WebelieveSarahMoulton,SVPofRetailOperations,andarisingstaratthecompany,couldjustbewhatthecompanyneeds.

Accordingtooursources,theboardhasgivenStraussand

Masterssixmonthstomakedramaticimprovements.Iftheycan’tpullthisoff,expectmorechangesandturbulenttimes.

—KellyLawrence,ChiefIndustryAnalyst,NestorMeyers

###

Chapter1•Tuesday,September2

“BillPalmerhere,”Isay,answeringmycellphoneonthefirstring.

I’mlate,soI’mdrivingtenmilesperhouroverthespeedlimit,insteadofmyusualfive.Ispentthemorningatthedoctor’sofficewithmythree-year-oldson,tryingtokeeptheothertoddlersfromcoughingonus,constantlybeinginterruptedbymyvibratingphone.

Theproblemofthedayisintermittentnetworkoutages.AstheDirectorofMidrangeTechnologyOperations,I’mresponsiblefortheavailabilityandsmoothfunctioningofarelativelysmallITgroupatPartsUnlimited,a$4billionperyearmanufacturingandretailcompanybasedinElkhartGrove.

EveninthetechnologybackwatersI’vechosentomakemyturf,Ineedtotracknetworkissuesclosely.Becausetheseissuesdisrupttheservicesmygroupprovides,peoplewillblametheoutagesonme.

“Hi,Bill.ThisisLauraBeck,fromHumanResources.”She’snotthepersonIusuallydealwithfromHR,buthernameandvoicesoundfamiliar…

Holycrap.ItrynottoswearoutloudwhenIrememberwhosheis.Fromthemonthlycompanymeetings.She’stheVPinchargeofHR.

“Goodmorning,Laura,”Isaywithforcedcheer.“WhatcanIdoforyou?”

Sheresponds,“Whenwillyoubeintheoffice?I’dliketomeetassoonaspossible.”

Ihatevaguerequeststomeet.IonlydothatwhenI’mtryingtoscheduleatimetochewsomeoneout.Orfirethem.

Wait.IsLauracallingbecausesomeonewantstofireme?WasthereanoutageIdidn’trespondtoquicklyenough?AsanITOperationsguy,thecareer-endingoutageisthejokemypeersandItelloneanotherdaily.

Weagreetomeetatherdeskinahalfhour,butwhenshedoesn’tshareanymoredetails,Isayinmymostcajolingvoice,“Laura,what’sthisallabout?Isthereaprobleminmygroup?OramItheoneintrouble?”Ilaughextraloudly,soshehearsitoverthephone.

“No,it’snothinglikethat,”shesaysbreezily.“Youcouldevensaythisisgoodnews.Thanks,Bill.”

Whenshehangsup,Itrytothinkofwhatgoodnewswouldevenlooklikethesedays.WhenIcan’t,Iturntheradiobackonandimmediatelyhearacommercialfromourlargestretailingcompetitor.They’retalkingabouttheirunparalleledcustomerserviceandabreathtakingnewofferingthatallowspeopletocustomizetheircarswiththeirfriendsonline.

Theadisbrilliant.I’dusetheserviceinasecond,ifIweren’tsuchaloyalcompanyman.Howdotheykeepbringingsuchincrediblenewcapabilitiestomarketwhileweremainstuckinthemud?

Iturntheradiooff.Despiteallourhardworkandlatenights,thecompetitionkeepsleapfroggingus.WhenourMarketingpeoplehearthisad,they’llgoballistic.Becausethey’relikelyartormusicmajors,notpeoplewithatechnologybackground,they’llpubliclypromisetheimpossibleandITwillhavetofigureouthowtodeliver.

Eachyear,itgetsharder.Wehavetodomorewithless,tosimultaneouslymaintaincompetitivenessandreducecosts.

Somedays,Ithinkthatitcan’tbedone.MaybeIspenttoomuchtimeasasergeantintheMarines.Youlearnthatyouargueyourcaseasbestasyoucanwithyourofficer,butsometimesyouhavetosay,“Yes,sir,”andthengotakethathill.

Ipullintotheparkinglot.Threeyearsago,findinganemptyparkingspotwasimpossible.Now,afterallthelayoffs,parkingisrarelyaproblem.

WhenIwalkintoBuilding5whereLauraandherstaffreside,Iimmediatelynoticehownicelyfurnisheditis.Icansmellthenewcarpetingandthere’sevenclassywoodpanelingonthewalls.Suddenly,thepaintandcarpetinmybuildingseemdecadesoverdueforreplacement.

That’sIT’slotinlife.Atleastwe’renotinadingy,dimlylitdankbasement,likeintheBritishTVshow,TheITCrowd.

WhenIgettoLaura’soffice,shelooksupandsmiles.“Goodseeingyouagain,Bill.”Sheextendsherhand,whichIshake.“HaveaseatwhileIseewhetherSteveMastersisavailabletomeet.”

SteveMasters?OurCEO?

ShepicksupanddialsherphonewhileIsitdown,lookingaround.ThelasttimeIwasherewasacoupleofyearsagowhenHRnotifiedusthatweneededtodedicatearoomfornursingmothers.Wewerecriticallyshortofofficeandmeetingspace,andwehadbigprojectdeadlineslooming.

Wemerelywantedtouseaconferenceroominadifferentbuilding.However,Wesmadeitsoundlikewewereabunchof1950sMadMenNeanderthals.Shortlyafterward,wewerebothsummonedhereforahalfdayofpoliticalrehabilitationandsensitivitytraining.Thanks,Wes.

Amongotherthings,Wesisinchargeofthenetworks,whichiswhyItracknetworkoutagessoclosely.

Laurathanksthepersonontheotherendofthephoneandturnsbacktome.“Thanksforcomingdownonshortnotice.Howisyourfamilydoingthesedays?”sheasks.

Mybrowfurrows.IfIwantedtochitchat,therearemanypeopleI’drathertalktothansomeoneinHR.Iforcemyselftobanteraboutourfamiliesandkids,tryingnottothinkaboutmyotherpressingcommitments.EventuallyIsay,withoutmuchgrace,“So,whatcanIdoforyouthismorning?”

“Ofcourse.”Shepauses,andthensays,“Effectiveasofthismorning,LukeandDamonarenolongerwiththecompany.Thiswentallthewaytothetop,withStevegettinginvolved.He’schosenyoutobetheVPofITOperations.”

Shesmilesbroadly,holdingoutherhandagain,“You’reournewestVPinthecompany,Bill.Ithinksomecongratulationsareinorder?”

Holycrap.Inumblyshakeherhand.

No,no,no.ThelastthingIwantisa“promotion.”

LukewasourCIO,orChiefInformationOfficer.Damonworkedforhimandwasmyboss,inchargeofITOperationsacrosstheentirecompany.Bothgone,justlikethat.

Ididn’tseethiscoming.Therewasn’tanychatteronthesubspaceradio.Nothing.

Forthelastdecade,likeclockwork,newCIOswouldcomeandgoeverytwoyears.Theystayjustlongenoughtounderstandtheacronyms,learnwherethebathroomsare,implementabunchofprogramsandinitiativestoupsettheapplecart,andthenthey’regone.

CIOstandsfor“CareerIsOver.”AndVPsofITOperationsdon’tlastmuchlonger.

I’vefiguredoutthatthetricktoalongcareerinITOperationsmanagementistogetenoughsenioritytogetgoodthingsdonebuttokeepyourheadlowenoughtoavoidthepoliticalbattlesthatmakeyouinherently

vulnerable.IhaveabsolutelynointerestinbecomingoneoftheVPswhojustgiveeachotherPowerPointsalldaylong.

Fishingformoreinformation,Ijoke,“Twoexecutivesleavingatthesametime?Weretheystealingmoneyfromthestoreslateatnight?”

Shelaughs,butquicklyreturnstoherHR-traineddeadpan,“Theybothchosetopursueotherinterests.Morethanthat,you’llhavetofindoutfromthem.”

Asthesayinggoes,ifyourcolleaguetellsyouthey’vedecidedtoquit,itwasvoluntary.Butwhensomeoneelsetellsyouthey’vedecidedtoquit,itwasmandatory.

Ergo,mybossandhisbosswerejustwhacked.

ThisisexactlywhyIdon’twantapromotion.I’mextremelyproudoftheteamI’vebuiltoverthelasttenyears.It’snotthelargestgroup,butwe’rethemostorganizedanddependable,byfar.EspeciallycomparedtoWes.

IgroanatthethoughtofmanagingWes.Hedoesn’tmanageateam—he’sbarelyonestepaheadofachaoticmob.

AsIbreakoutinacoldsweat,IknowIwillneveracceptthispromotion.

Allthistime,Laurahasbeentalking,andIhaven’theardasingleword.“—andsowe’llobviouslyneedtotalkabouthowwe’regoingtoannouncethistransition.AndStevewantstoseeyouassoonaspossible.”

“Look,thanksfortheopportunity.I’mhonored.ButIdon’twantthisrole.WhywouldI?Ilovemycurrentjob,andtherearetonsofimportantthingsthatstillneedtobedone.”

“Idon’tthinkthisisoptional,”shesays,lookingsympathetic.“ThiscamestraightfromSteve.Hechoseyoupersonally,soyou’llhavetotalkwithhim.”

Istandupandreiteratefirmly,“No,really.Thanksforthinkingofme,butI’vealreadygotagreatjob.Goodluckfindingsomeoneelse.”

Minuteslater,LauraiswalkingmetoBuilding2,thetallestbuildingoncampus.I’mangryatmyselfforgettingsuckedintothisinsanity.

IfIrunnow,I’mprettysureshewouldn’tbeabletocatchme,butthenwhat?StevewouldjustsendawholesquadofHRgoonstofetchme.

Idon’tsayanything,definitelynotfeelinglikesmalltalkanymore.Lauradoesn’tseemtocare,walkingbrisklybesideme,noseburiedinherphone,

occasionallygesturingdirections.

ShefindsSteve’sofficewithouteverlookingup,obviouslyhavingmadethiswalkmanytimesbefore.

Thisflooriswarmandinviting,furnishedjustlikeitwasinthe1920s,whenthebuildingwasconstructed.Withdarkhardwoodfloorsandstainedglasswindows,it’sfromanerawheneveryoneworesuitsandsmokedcigarsintheiroffices.Thecompanywasboomingthen—PartsUnlimitedmadevariouswidgetsinsidealmosteverymakeofautomobile,whenhorseswerebeingvanquishedfromdailylife.

Stevehasacorneroffice,whereano-nonsensewomaniskeepingguard.She’saboutforty,radiatingcheerfulnessandasenseoforganizationandorder.Herdeskistidy,withPost-itnoteseverywhereonthewall.There’sacoffeemugwiththewords“Don’tMessWithStacy”byherkeyboard.

“Hi,Laura,”shesays,lookingupfromhercomputer.“Busyday,huh?So,thisisBill?”

“Yep.Intheflesh,”Laurareplies,smiling.

Tomeshesays,“StacykeepsSteveinline.You’llgrowtoknowherwell,Isuspect.YouandIcanfinishuplater.”Thensheleaves.

Stacysmilesatme.“Pleasure.I’veheardalotaboutyoualready.Steveisexpectingyou.”Shepointstohisdoor.

Iimmediatelylikeher.AndIthinkaboutwhatI’vejustlearned.It’sbeenabusydayforLaura.StacyandLauraareonveryfamiliarterms.StevehasHRonspeeddial.Apparently,peoplewhoworkforStevedon’tlastlong.

Great.

Walkingin,I’malittlesurprisedtofindSteve’sofficelooksjustlikeLaura’s.It’sthesamesizeasmyboss’office—orrather,myex-boss’office—andpotentiallymynewofficeifI’mstupid,whichIamnot.

MaybeIwasexpectingPersianrugs,waterfountains,andlargesculptureseverywhere.Instead,therearephotosonthewallofasmallpropellerairplane,hissmilingfamily,and,tomysurprise,oneofhiminaUSArmyuniformonarunwaysomewheretropical.Inotewithsurprisetheinsigniavisibleonhislapels.

So,Stevewasamajor.

Heissittingbehindhisdesk,scrutinizingwhatappeartobepaperspreadsheets.There’salaptopopenbehindhim,displayingabrowserfullof

stockgraphs.

“Bill,goodtoseeyouagain,”hesays,standingandshakingmyhand.“It’sbeenalongtime.Aboutfiveyears,right?Itwasafteryoupulledoffthatamazingprojecttointegrateoneofthemanufacturingacquisitions.Itrustlifehasbeentreatingyouwell?”

I’msurprisedandabitflatteredthatherememberedourbriefinteraction,especiallywhenitwassolongago.Ismileinreturn,saying,“Yes,verywell,thankyou.I’mamazedyouremembersomethingsofarback.”

“Youthinkwegiveoutawardslikethattojustanyone?”hesaysearnestly.“Thatwasanimportantproject.Tomakethatacquisitionpayoff,weneededtonailit,whichyouandyourteamdidsuperbly.

“I’msureLaurahastoldyouabitabouttheorganizationalchangesI’vemade.YouknowLukeandDamonarenolongerwiththecompany.IintendtofilltheCIOpositioneventually,butinthemeantime,allofITwillreporttome.”

Hecontinues,briskandbusinesslike,“However,withDamon’sdeparture,IhaveanorganizationalholeIneedtofill.Basedonourresearch,you’reclearlythebestcandidatetotakeoverasVPofITOperations.”

Asifhejustremembered,hesays,“YouwereaMarine.Whenandwhere?”

Iannounceautomatically,“222ndMarineExpeditionaryUnit.Sergeant.Iwasinforsixyearsbutneversawcombat.”

RememberinghowIjoinedtheMarinesasacockyeighteen-year-old,Isaywithasmallsmile,“TheCorpsreallystraightenedmeout—Iowethemalot,butIsurehopeneitherofmysonsjoinunderthesameconditionsIdid.”

“Ibet,”Stevelaughs.“IwasintheArmyforeightyearsmyself,slightlylongerthanIwasobligatedto.ButIdidn’tmind.ROTCwastheonlywayIcouldpayforcollege,andtheytreatedmewell.”

Headds,“Theydidn’tcoddleusliketheydidyouMarines,butIstillcan’tcomplain.”

Ilaugh,findingmyselflikinghim.Thisisthelongestinteractionwe’vehad.Isuddenlywonderifthisiswhatpoliticiansarelike.

Itrytostayfocusedonwhyhesummonedmehere:He’sgoingtoaskmetoundertakesomekamikazemission.

“Here’sthesituation,”hesays,motioningmetohaveaseatathis

conferencetable.“AsI’msureyou’reaware,wemustregainprofitability.Todothat,weneedtoincreaseourmarketshareandaverageordersizes.Ourretailcompetitorsarekickingourass.Thewholeworldknowsthis,whichiswhyourstockpriceishalfwhatitwasthreeyearsago.”

Hecontinues,“ProjectPhoenixisessentialtoclosingthegapwiththecompetition,sowecanfinallydowhatthecompetitionhasbeendoingforyears.Customersneedtobeabletobuyfromusfromwherevertheywant,whetherit’sontheInternetorinourretailstores.Otherwise,we’llsoonhavenocustomers,atall.”

Inod.Imightbeinthetechnologybackwaters,butmyteamhasbeeninvolvedwithPhoenixforyears.Everyoneknowshowimportantitis.

“We’reyearslatedelivering,”hecontinues.“OurinvestorsandWallStreetarehowling.Andnow,myboardislosingconfidenceinourabilitytohitourcommitments.

“I’llbeblunt,”hesays.“Thewaythingsaregoing,I’llbeoutofajobinsixmonths.Asoflastweek,BobStrauss,myoldboss,isthenewchairmanofthecompany.There’savocalgroupofshareholderstryingtosplitupthecompany,andIdon’tknowhowmuchlongerwecanfendthemoff.What’satstakehereisnotjustmyjob,butthenearlyfourthousandemployeeswhoworkhereatPartsUnlimited.”

Suddenly,StevelooksmucholderthantheearlyfiftiesIhadguessedhimtobe.Lookingrightatme,hesays,“AsactingCIO,ChrisAllers,ourVPofApplicationDevelopment,willreporttome.Andsowillyou.”

Hestandsupandstartstopace,“Ineedyoutokeepallthethingsthataresupposedtobeup,well,up.Ineedsomeonereliable,whoisn’tafraidtotellmebadnews.Aboveall,IneedsomeoneIcantrusttodotherightthing.Thatintegrationprojecthadmanychallenges,butyoualwayskeptacoolhead.You’vebuiltareputationassomeonewhoisdependable,pragmatic,andwillingtosaywhatyoureallythink.”

He’sbeencandidwithme,soIreplywiththesame.“Sir,withallduerespect,itseemsverydifficultforseniorITleadershiptosucceedhere.Anyrequestforbudgetorstaffisalwaysshotdown,andexecutivesarereplacedsoquickly,someneverevengetachancetofullyunpack.”

Withfinality,Isay,“MidrangeOperationsiscriticaltogettingPhoenixdone,too.Ineedtostaytheretoseethosethingsthroughtocompletion.Iappreciateyouthinkingofme,butIcan’taccept.However,IpromiseI’llkeepmyeyesopenforanygoodcandidates.”

Stevelooksatmeappraisingly,hisexpressionsurprisinglygrave.“We’vehadtocutbudgetsacrosstheentirecompany.Thatedictcamestraightfrommyboard.Myhandsweretied.Iwon’tmakepromisesIcan’tkeep,butIcanpromiseyouI’lldowhateverittakestosupportyouandyourmission.

“Bill,Iknowyoudidn’taskforthisjob,butthecompany’ssurvivalisatstakehere.Ineedyoutohelpmesavethisgreatcompany.CanIcountonyou?”

Oh,forchrissakes.

BeforeIcanpolitelydeclineagain,Isuddenlyhearmyselfsaying,“Yes,sir,youcancountonme.”

Ipanic,realizingthatStevesomehowusedsomeJedimindtrickonme.Iforcemyselftostoptalking,beforeImakemoredumbpromises.

“Congratulations,”Stevesays,standingupandshakingmyhandfirmly.Heclaspsmyshoulder.“Iknewyou’ddotherightthing.Onbehalfoftheentireexecutiveteam,we’regratefulforyousteppingup.”

Ilookathishandgraspingmine,wonderingifIcanbackpeddlemywayout.

Notachanceinhell,Idecide.

Swearingtomyself,Isay,“I’lldomybest,sir.Andcouldyouatleastexplainwhynoonewhoacceptsthispositionlastsverylong?Whatdoyouwantmostfromme?Andwhatdon’tyouwant?”

Witharesignedhalfsmile,Iadd,“IfIfail,I’lltrytomakesureit’sinanewandnovelway.”

“Ilikethat!”Stevesays,laughingloudly.“WhatIwantisforITtokeepthelightson.Itshouldbelikeusingthetoilet.Iusethetoiletand,hell,Idon’teverworryaboutitnotworking.WhatIdon’twantistohavethetoiletsbackupandfloodtheentirebuilding.”Hesmilesbroadlyathisownjoke.

Great.Inhismind,I’maglorifiedjanitor.

Hecontinues,“YouhaveareputationofrunningthetightestshipintheITorganization.SoI’mgivingyoutheentirefleet.Iexpectyoutomakethemallrunthesameway.

“IneedChrisfocusedonPhoenixexecution.AnythinginyourareaofresponsibilitythattakesfocusawayfromPhoenixisunacceptable.ThatappliesnotjusttoyouandChris,buteveryoneelseinthiscompany.Isthat

clear?”

“Absolutely,”Isay,nodding.“YouwanttheITsystemstobereliableandavailable,andforthebusinesstobeabletodependuponthem.YouwantdisruptionstonormaloperationskepttoanabsoluteminimumsothatthebusinesscanfocusongettingPhoenixdone.”

Lookingsurprised,Stevenods.“Exactly.Yes,wellput.Whateveryousaid,that’sexactlywhatIwant.”

Hehandsmeane-mailprintoutfromDickLandry,theCFO.

From:DickLandry

To:SteveMasters

Date:September2,8:27AM

Priority:Highest

Subject:ACTIONNEEDED:payrollrunisfailing

Hey,Steve.We’vegotseriousissueswiththisweek’spayroll.We’retryingtofigureoutiftheproblemiswiththenumbersorinthepayrollsystem.Eitherway,thousandsofemployeeshavepaychecksstuckinsystem&areatriskofnotgettingpaid.Seriouslybadnews.

Wemustfixthisbeforepayrollwindowclosesat5PMtoday.Pleaseadviseonhowtoescalatethis,giventhenewITorg.

Dick

Iwince.Employeesnotgettingpaychecksmeansfamiliesnotbeingabletopaytheirmortgagesorputfoodonthetable.

Suddenly,Irealizethatmyfamily’smortgagepaymentisdueinfourdays,andwecouldbeoneofthefamiliesaffected.Alatemortgagepaymentcouldscrewupourcreditratingevenmore,whichwespentyearsrepairingafterweputPaige’sstudentloansonmycreditcard.

“Youwantmetojumponthisandmanagetheincidenttoconclusion?”

Stevenods,givingmethethumbs-up.“Keepmepostedontheprogress,please.”Hisexpressionturnsgrave.“Everyresponsiblecompanytakescareofitsemployees.Manyofourfactoryworkerslivefrompaychecktopaycheck.Donotcreatehardshipfortheirfamilies,youhear?Thiscouldgetusintroublewiththeunion,maybeeventriggeringawork-stoppage,creating

someverybadpressforus.”

Inodautomatically.“Restorecriticalbusinessoperationsandkeepusoutofthefront-pagenews.Gotit.Thanks.”

Why,exactly,I’mthankinghimisnotclear.

Chapter2•Tuesday,September2

“How’ditgointhere?”Stacyaskskindly,lookingupfromherkeyboard.

Ijustshakemyhead.“Ican’tbelieveit.HejusttalkedmeintotakinganewjobIdon’twant.Howdidthathappen?”

“Hecanbeverypersuasive,”shesays.“Forwhatit’sworth,he’sone-of-a-kind.I’veworkedforhimfornearlytenyears,andI’llfollowhimanywhere.AnythingIcanhelpwithtomakeyourjobeasier?”

Thinkingforamoment,Iask,“There’sanurgentpayrollissuethatneedstobefixed.DickLandryisonfloorthree,right?”

“Hereyougo,”shesays,beforeI’vefinishedaskingmyquestion,handingmeaPost-itnotewithallofDick’scontactinformation.Officelocation,phonenumbers,andeverything.

Grateful,Ismileather.“Thanksalot—youarefantastic!”

IdialDick’scellphoneonmywaytotheelevator.“Dickhere,”heanswersgruffly,stilltypinginthebackground.

“ThisisBillPalmer.StevejustmademethenewVPofITOperations,andheaskedmeto—”

“Congratulations,”heinterrupts.“Nowlook,mypeoplefoundahugepayrollirregularity.Whencanyougettomyoffice?”

“Rightaway,”Ireply.Iheartheclickofhimendingthecall.I’vehadwarmerwelcomes.

Onthethirdfloor,IwalkthroughFinanceandAccounting,surroundedbypinstripedshirtsandstarchedcollars.IfindDickathisdesk,stillonthephonewithsomeone.Whenheseesme,heputshishandoverthemouthpiece.“YoufromIT?”heasksgruffly.

WhenInod,hesaysintothephone,“Look,Igottarun.Someonewho’ssupposedlygoingtohelpisfinallyhere.I’llcallyouback.”Withoutwaitingforananswer,hehangsupthephone.

I’veneveractuallyseensomeonewhoroutinelyhangsuponpeople.Ibracemyselfforaconversationthatislikelytobeshortonanycomforting“let’sgettoknoweachother”foreplay.

Asifinahostagesituation,Islowlyraisemyhands,showingDicktheprintede-mail.“Stevejusttoldmeaboutthepayrolloutage.What’sthebestwayformetogetsomesituationalawarenesshere?”

“We’reindeepkimchi,”Dickresponds.“Inyesterday’spayrollrun,alloftherecordsforthehourlyemployeeswentmissing.We’reprettydamnedsureit’sanITissue.Thisscrewupispreventingusfrompayingouremployees,violatingcountlessstatelaborlaws,and,nodoubt,theunionisgoingtoscreambloodymurder.”

Hemuttersunderhisbreathforamoment.“Let’sgoseeAnn,myOperationsManager.She’sbeenpullingherhairoutsinceyesterdayafternoon.”

Walkingquicklytokeepup,Inearlyrunintohimwhenhestopsandpeersthroughaconferenceroomwindow.Heopensthedoor.“How’sitgoinginhere,Ann?”

Therearetwowell-dressedwomenintheroom:one,aroundforty-fiveyearsold,studiesthewhiteboard,filledwithflowchartsandalotoftabulatednumbers,andtheother,inherearlythirties,typesonalaptop.Spreadsheetsarestrewnalloverthelargeconferenceroomtable.Theolderwomangestureswithanopenmarkeratwhatappearstobealistofpotentialfailurecauses.

Somethingaboutthewaytheydress,andtheirconcernedandirritatedexpressions,makesmethinktheywererecruitedfromalocalaccountingfirm.Ex-auditors.Goodtohavethemonourside,Isuppose.

Annshakesherheadinexhaustedfrustration.“Notmuchprogress,I’mafraid.We’realmostcertainthisisanITsystemsfailureinoneoftheupstreamtimekeepingsystems.Allofthehourlyfactoryworkerrecordsgotscrewedupinthelastupload—”

Dickinterruptsher.“ThisisBillfromIT.He’sbeenassignedtofixthismessordietrying,iswhatIthinkhesaid.”

Isay,“Hi,guys.I’vejustbeenmadethenewheadofITOperations.Canyoustartfromthebeginningandtellmewhatyouknowabouttheproblem?”

Annwalksovertotheflowchartonthewhiteboard.“Let’sstartwiththeinformationflow.Ourfinancialsystemgetspayrolldatafromallourvariousdivisionsindifferentways.Werollupallthenumbersforsalariedandhourlypersonnel,whichincludeswagesandtaxes.Soundseasy,butit’sextremelycomplex,becauseeachstatehasdifferenttaxtables,laborlaws,andsoforth.

“Tomakesuresomethingdoesn’tgetscrewedup,”shecontinues,“wemakesurethesummarizednumbersmatchthedetailednumbersfromeachdivision.”

AsIhurriedlyjotdownsomenotes,shecontinues,“It’saprettyclunkyandmanualprocess.Itworksmostofthetime,butyesterdaywediscoveredthatthegeneralledgeruploadforhourlyproductionstaffdidn’tcomethrough.Allofthehourlieshadzeroesfortheirhoursworkedandamountdue.

“We’vehadsomanyproblemswiththisparticularupload,”shesays,obviouslyfrustrated,“thatITgaveusaprogramthatweusetodomanualcorrections,sowedon’thavetobotherthemanymore.”

Iwince.Idon’tlikefinancepersonnelmanuallychangingpayrolldataoutsidethepayrollapplication.It’serror-proneanddangerous.SomeonecouldcopythatdataontoaUSBdriveore-mailitoutsideoftheorganization,whichishoworganizationslosesensitivedata.

“Didyousayallthenumbersforsalariedemployeesareokay?”Iask.

“That’sright,”shereplies.

“Buthourlyemployeesareallzeroes,”Iconfirm.

“Yep,”sheagainreplies.

Interesting.Iask,“Whydoyouthinkthepayrollrunfailedwhenitwasworkingbefore?Haveyouhadproblemslikethisinthepast?”

Sheshrugs.“Nothinglikethishashappenedbefore.Ihavenoideawhatcouldhavecausedit—nomajorchangeswerescheduledforthispayperiod.I’vebeenaskingthesamequestions,butuntilwehearfromtheITguys,we’restuckdeadinthewater.”

“Whatisourbackupplan,”Iask,“ifthingsaresohosedthatwecan’tgetthehourlyemployeedataintime?”

“Forcryingoutloud,”Dicksays.“It’sinthate-mailyou’reholding.Thedeadlineforelectronicpaymentsis5p.m.,today.Ifwecan’thitthatwindow,wemayhavetoFedExbalesofpapercheckstoeachofourfacilitiesforthemtodistributetoemployees!”

Ifrownatthisscenarioandsodoestherestofthefinanceteam.

“Thatwon’twork,”Annsays,clickingamarkeronherteeth.“We’veoutsourcedourpayrollprocessing.Eachpayperiod,weuploadthepayrolldatatothem,whichtheythenprocess.Intheworstcase,maybewedownload

thepreviouspayrollrun,modifyitinaspreadsheet,andthenre-uploadit?

“Butbecausewedon’tknowhowmanyhourseachemployeeworked,wedon’tknowhowmuchtopaythem!”shecontinues.“Wedon’twanttooverpayanyone,butthat’sbetterthanaccidentallyunderpayingthem.”

It’sobviousthatplanBisfraughtwithproblems.We’dbasicallybeguessingatpeople’spaychecks,aswellaspayingpeoplewhowereterminated,andnotpayingpeoplewhowerenewlyhired.

TogetFinancethedatatheyneed,wemayhavetocobbletogethersomecustomreports,whichmeansbringingintheapplicationdevelopersordatabasepeople.

Butthat’slikethrowinggasolineonthefire.Developersareevenworsethannetworkingpeople.Showmeadeveloperwhoisn’tcrashingproductionsystems,andI’llshowyouonewhocan’tfogamirror.Ormorelikely,isonvacation.

Dicksays,“Thesearetwolousyoptions.Wecoulddelayourpayrollrununtilwehavethecorrectdata.Butwecan’tdothis—evenifwe’reonlyadaylate,we’llhavetheunionsteppingin.So,thatleavesAnn’sproposalofpayingouremployeessomething,evenifit’stheincorrectamount.We’dhavetoadjusteveryone’spaycheckinthenextpayperiod.Butnowwehaveafinancialreportingerrorthatwe’vegottogobackandfix.”

Hepinchesthebridgeofhisnoseandcontinuestoramble.“We’llhaveabunchofoddjournalentriesinourgeneralledger,justwhenourauditorsarehereforourSOX-404audits.Whentheyseethis,they’llneverleave.

“Oh,Christ.Afinancialreportingerror?”Dickmutters.“We’llneedapprovalfromSteve.We’regoingtohaveauditorscampedouthereuntilthecowscomehome.Noone’llevergetanyrealworkdoneagain.”

SOX-404isshortfortheSarbanes-OxleyActof2002,whichCongressenactedinresponsetotheaccountingfailuresatEnron,WorldCom,andTyco.ItmeanstheCEOandCFOhavetopersonallysigntheirnames,attestingthattheircompany’sfinancialstatementsareaccurate.

Everyonelongsforthedayswhenwedidn’tspendhalfourtimetalkingtoauditors,complyingwitheachnewregulatoryrequirementdujour.

Ilookatmynotesandthenattheclock.Timeisrunningout.

“Dick,basedonwhatI’veheard,IrecommendthatyoucontinuetoplanfortheworstandwefullydocumentplanB,sowecanpullitoffwithout

furthercomplications.Furthermore,Irequestthatwewaituntil3p.m.beforemakingadecision.Wemaybestillabletogetallthesystemsanddataback.”

WhenAnnnods,Dicksays,“Okay,you’vegotfourhours.”

Isay,“Restassuredthatweunderstandtheurgencyofthesituationandthatyou’llbeapprisedofhowit’sgoingassoonasIfindoutmyself.”

“Thanks,Bill,”Annsays.DickremainssilentasIturnaroundandwalkoutthedoor.

Ifeelbetter,nowthatI’veseentheproblemfromthebusinessperspective.It’snowtimetogetunderthecoversandfindoutwhatbrokethecomplexpayrollmachinery.

Whilewalkingdownthestairs,Idigoutmyphoneandscanmye-mails.MyfeelingofcalmfocusdisappearswhenIseethatStevehasn’tsentoutanannouncementofmypromotion.WesDavisandPattyMcKee,whountiltodayweremypeers,stillhavenoideathatI’mnowtheirnewboss.

Thanks,Steve.

WhenIenterBuilding7,ithitsme.OurbuildingistheghettooftheentirePartsUnlimitedcampus.

Itwasbuiltinthe1950s,andlastremodeledinthe1970s,obviouslybuiltforutility,notaesthetics.Building7usedtobeourlargebrake-padmanufacturingfactoryuntilitwasconvertedintodatacenterandofficespace.Itlooksoldandneglected.

Thesecurityguardsayscheerfully,“Hello,Mr.Palmer.Howisthemorninggoingsofar?”

Foramoment,I’mtemptedtoaskhimtowishmeluck,sohecangetpaidthecorrectamountthisweek.Ofcourse,Imerelyreturnhisfriendlygreeting.

I’mheadedtowardtheNetworkOperationsCenter,oraswecallit,theNOC,whereWesandPattyaremostlikelytobe.They’renowmytwoprimarymanagers.

WesisDirectorofDistributedTechnologyOperations.HehastechnicalresponsibilityforoverathousandWindowsservers,aswellasthedatabaseandnetworkingteams.PattyistheDirectorofITServiceSupport.Sheownsallthelevel1and2helpdesktechnicianswhoanswerthephonesaroundtheclock,handlingbreak-fixissuesandsupportrequestsfromthebusiness.ShealsoownssomeofthekeyprocessesandtoolsthattheentireITOperationsorganizationreliesupon,likethetroubleticketingsystem,monitoring,and

runningthechangemanagementmeetings.

Iwalkpastrowsuponrowsofcubicles,thesameaseveryotherbuilding.However,unlikeBuildings2and5,Iseepeelingpaintanddarkstainsseepingthroughthecarpet.

Thispartofthebuildingwasbuiltontopofwhatusedtobethemainassemblyfloor.Whentheyconvertedit,theycouldn’tgetallthemachineoilcleanedup.Nomatterhowmuchsealantweputdowntocoatthefloors,oilstillhasatendencytoseepthroughthecarpet.

Imakeanotetoputinabudgetrequesttoreplacethecarpetsandpaintthewalls.IntheMarines,keepingthebarracksneatandtidywasnotonlyforaestheticsbutalsoforsafety.

Oldhabitsdiehard.

IheartheNOCbeforeIseeit.It’salargebullpenarea,withlongtablessetupalongonewall,displayingthestatusofallthevariousITservicesonlargemonitors.Thelevel1and2helpdeskpeoplesitatthethreerowsofworkstations.

It’snotexactlylikemissioncontrolinApollo13,butthat’showIexplainittomyrelatives.

Whensomethinghitsthefan,youneedallthevariousstakeholdersandtechnologymanagerstocommunicateandcoordinateuntiltheproblemisresolved.Likenow.Attheconferencetable,fifteenpeopleareinthemidstofaloudandheateddiscussion,huddledaroundoneoftheclassicgrayspeakerphonesthatresemblesaUFO.

WesandPattyaresittingnexttoeachotherattheconferencetable,soIwalkbehindthemtolistenin.Wesleansbackinhischairwithhisarmscrossedoverhisstomach.Theydon’tgetallthewayacross.Atsixfeetthreeinchestallandover250pounds,hecastsashadowonmostpeople.Heseemstobeinconstantmotionandhasareputationofsayingwhateverisonhismind.

Pattyisthecompleteopposite.WhereWesisloud,outspoken,andshootsfromthehip,Pattyisthoughtful,analytical,andasticklerforprocessesandprocedures.WhereWesislarge,combative,andsometimesevenquarrelsome,Pattyiselfin,logical,andlevelheaded.ShehasareputationforlovingprocessesmorethanpeopleandisofteninthepositionoftryingtoimposeorderonthechaosinIT.

She’sthefaceoftheentireITorganization.WhenthingsgowronginIT,

peoplecallPatty.She’sourprofessionalapologist,whetherit’sservicescrashing,webpagestakingtoolongtoload,or,asintoday’scase,missingorcorrupteddata.

TheyalsocallPattywhentheyneedtheirworkdone—likeupgradingacomputer,changingaphonenumber,ordeployinganewapplication.Shedoesallofthescheduling,sopeoplearealwayslobbyinghertogettheirworkdonefirst.She’llthenhanditofftopeoplewhodothework.Forthemostpart,theyliveineithermyoldgrouporinWes’group.

Wespoundsthetable,saying,“Justgetthevendoronthephoneandtellthemthatunlesstheygetatechdownherepronto,we’regoingtothecompetition.We’reoneoftheirlargestcustomers!Weshouldprobablyhaveabandonedthatpileofcrapbynow,cometothinkofit.”

Helooksaroundandjokes,“Youknowthesaying,right?Thewayyoucantellavendorislyingiswhentheirlipsaremoving.”

OneoftheengineersacrossfromWessays,“Wehavethemonthephonerightnow.Theysayit’llbeatleastfourhoursbeforetheirSANfieldengineerison-site.”

Ifrown.WhyaretheytalkingabouttheSAN?Storageareanetworksprovidecentralizedstoragetomanyofourmostcriticalsystems,sofailuresaretypicallyglobal:Itwon’tbejustoneserverthatgoesdown;it’llbehundredsofserversthatgodownallatonce.

WhileWesstartsarguingwiththeengineer,Itrytothink.NothingaboutthispayrollrunfailuresoundslikeaSANissue.Annsuggestedthatitwasprobablysomethinginthetimekeepingapplicationssupportingeachplant.

“ButafterwetriedtorollbacktheSAN,itstoppedservingdataentirely,”anotherengineersays.“Thenthedisplaystarteddisplayingeverythinginkanji!Well,wethinkitwaskanji.Whateveritwas,wecouldn’tmakeheadsortailsofthoselittlepictures.That’swhenweknewweneededtogetthevendorinvolved.”

AlthoughI’mjoininglate,I’mconvincedwe’retotallyonthewrongtrack.

IleanintowhispertoWesandPatty,“CanIgetaminutewithyouguysinprivate?”

Westurnsand,withoutgivingmehisfullattention,saysloudly,“Can’titwait?Incaseyouhaven’tnoticed,we’reinthemiddleofahugeissuehere.”

Iputmyhandfirmlyonhisshoulder.“Wes,thisisreallyimportant.It’s

aboutthepayrollfailureandconcernsaconversationIjusthadwithSteveMastersandDickLandry.”

Helookssurprised.Pattyisalreadyoutofherchair.“Let’susemyoffice,”shesays,leadingtheway.

FollowingPattyintoheroffice,Iseeaphotoonherwallofherdaughter,whoI’dguessiselevenyearsold.I’mamazedathowmuchshelookslikePatty—fearless,incrediblysmart,andformidable—inawaythatisabitscaryinsuchacutelittlegirl.

Inagruffvoice,Wessays,“Okay,Bill,what’ssoimportantthatyouthinkisworthinterruptingaSev1outageinprogress?”

That’snotabadquestion.Severity1outagesareseriousbusiness-impactingincidentsthataresodisruptive,wetypicallydropeverythingtoresolvethem.Itakeadeepbreath.“Idon’tknowifyou’veheard,butLukeandDamonarenolongerwiththecompany.Theofficialwordisthatthey’vedecidedtotakesometimeoff.Morethanthat,Idon’tknow.”

Thesurprisedexpressionsontheirfacesconfirmmysuspicions.Theydidn’tknow.Iquicklyrelatetheeventsofthemorning.Pattyshakesherhead,utteringatsk-tskindisapproval.

Weslooksangry.HeworkedwithDamonformanyyears.Hisfacereddens.“Sonowwe’resupposedtotakeordersfromyou?Look,nooffense,pal,butaren’tyoualittleoutofyourleague?You’vemanagedthemidrangesystems,whicharebasicallyantiques,foryears.Youcreatedanicelittlecushyjobforyourselfupthere.Andyouknowwhat?Youhaveabsolutelynoideahowtorunmoderndistributedsystems—toyou,the1990sisstillthefuture!

“Quitefrankly,”hesays,“IthinkyourheadwouldexplodeifyouhadtolivewiththerelentlesspaceandcomplexityofwhatIdealwitheveryday.”

Iexhale,whilecountingtothree.“YouwanttotalktoSteveabouthowyouwantmyjob?Bemyguest.Let’sgetthebusinesswhattheyneedfirstandmakesurethateveryonegetspaidontime.”

Pattyrespondsquickly,“Iknowyouweren’taskingme,butIagreethatthepayrollincidentneedstobeourfocus.”Shepausesandthensays,“IthinkStevemadeagoodchoice.Congratulations,Bill.Whencanwetalkaboutabiggerbudget?”

Iflashherasmallsmileandanodofthanks,returningmygazetoWes.

Acouplemomentsgoby,andexpressionsIcan’tquitedeciphercrosshisface.Finallyherelents,“Yeah,fine.AndIwilltakeyouuponyouroffertotalktoSteve.He’sgotalotofexplainingtodo.”

Inod.ThinkingaboutmyownexperiencewithSteve,IgenuinelywishWesluckifheactuallydecidestohaveashowdownwithhim.

“Thankyouforyoursupport,guys.Iappreciateit.Now,whatdoweknowaboutthefailure—orfailures?What’sallthisaboutsomeSANupgradeyesterday?Aretheyrelated?”

“Wedon’tknow,”Wesshakeshishead.“Weweretryingtofigurethatoutwhenyouwalkedin.WewereinthemiddleofaSANfirmwareupgradeyesterdaywhenthepayrollrunfailed.BrentthoughttheSANwascorruptingdata,sohesuggestedwebackoutthechanges.Itmadesensetome,butasyouknow,theyendedupbrickingit.”

Upuntilnow,I’veonlyheard“bricking”somethinginreferencetobreakingsomethingsmall,likewhenacellphoneupdategoesbad.Usingittorefertoamillion-dollarpieceofequipmentwhereallourirreplaceablecorporatedataarestoredmakesmefeelphysicallyill.

BrentworksforWes.He’salwaysinthemiddleoftheimportantprojectsthatITisworkingon.I’veworkedwithhimmanytimes.He’sdefinitelyasmartguybutcanbeintimidatingbecauseofhowmuchheknows.Whatmakesitworseisthathe’srightmostofthetime.

“Youheardthem,”Wessays,gesturingtowardtheconferencetablewheretheoutagemeetingcontinuesunabated.“TheSANwon’tboot,won’tservedata,andourguyscan’tevenreadanyoftheerrormessagesonthedisplaybecausethey’reinsomeweirdlanguage.Nowwe’vegotabunchofdatabasesdown,including,ofcourse,payroll.”

“ToworktheSANissue,wehadtopullBrentoffofaPhoenixjobwepromisedtogetdoneforSarah,”Pattysaysominously.“There’sgoingtobehelltopay.”

“Uh-oh.Whatexactlydidwepromiseher?”Iask,alarmed.

SarahistheSVPofRetailOperations,andshealsoworksforSteve.Shehasanuncannyknackforblamingotherpeopleforherscrewups,especiallyITpeople.Foryears,she’sbeenabletoescapeanysortofrealaccountability.

AlthoughI’veheardrumorsthatSteveisgroomingherashisreplacement,I’vealwaysdiscountedthatasbeingtotallyimpossible.I’mcertainthatStevecan’tbeblindtohermachinations.

“SarahheardfromsomeonethatwewerelategettingabunchofvirtualmachinesovertoChris,”shereplies.“Wedroppedeverythingtogetonit.Thatis,untilwehadtodropeverythingtofixtheSAN.”

ChrisAllers,ourVPofApplicationDevelopment,isresponsiblefordevelopingtheapplicationsandcodethatthebusinessneeds,whichthengetturnedovertoustooperateandmaintain.Chris’lifeiscurrentlydominatedbyPhoenix.

Iscratchmyhead.Asacompany,we’vemadeahugeinvestmentinvirtualization.Althoughitlooksuncannilylikethemainframeoperatingenvironmentfromthe1960s,virtualizationchangedthegameinWes’world.Suddenly,youdon’thavetomanagethousandsofphysicalserversanymore.They’renowlogicalinstancesinsideofonebig-ironserverormaybeevenresidingsomewhereinthecloud.

Buildinganewserverisnowaright-clickinsideofanapplication.Cabling?It’snowaconfigurationsetting.Butdespitethepromisethatvirtualizationwasgoingtosolveallourproblems,hereweare—stilllateindeliveringavirtualmachinetoChris.

“IfweneedBrenttoworktheSANissue,keephimthere.I’llhandleSarah,”Isay.“ButifthepayrollfailurewascausedbytheSAN,whydidn’tweseemorewidespreadoutagesandfailures?”

“Sarahisdefinitelygoingtobeoneunhappycamper.Youknow,suddenlyIdon’twantyourjobanymore,”Wessayswithaloudlaugh.“Don’tgetyourselffiredonyourfirstday.They’llprobablycomeformenext!”

Wespausestothink.“Youknow,youhaveagoodpointabouttheSAN.Brentisworkingtheissuerightnow.Let’sgotohisdeskandseewhathethinks.”

PattyandIbothnod.It’sagoodidea.Weneedtoestablishanaccuratetimelineofrelevantevents.Andsofar,we’rebasingeverythingonhearsay.

Thatdoesn’tworkforsolvingcrimes,anditdefinitelydoesn’tworkforsolvingoutages.

Chapter3•Tuesday,September2

IfollowPattyandWesastheywalkpasttheNOC,intotheseaofcubicles.Weendupinagiantworkspacecreatedbycombiningsixcubicles.AlargetablesitsagainstonewallwithakeyboardandfourLCDmonitors,likeaWallStreettradingdesk.Therearepilesofserverseverywhere,allwithblinkinglights.Eachportionofthedeskiscoveredbymoremonitors,showinggraphs,loginwindows,codeeditors,Worddocuments,andcountlessapplicationsIdon’trecognize.

Brenttypesawayinawindow,oblivioustoeverythingaroundhim.Fromhisphone,IheartheNOCconferenceline.Heobviouslydoesn’tseemworriedthattheloudspeakerphonemightbotherhisneighbors.

“Hey,Brent.Yougotaminute?”Wesasksloudly,puttingahandonhisshoulder.

“Canitwait?”Brentreplieswithoutevenlookingup.“I’mactuallykindofbusyrightnow.WorkingtheSANissue,youknow?”

Wesgrabsachair.“Yeah,that’swhatwe’reheretotalkabout.”

WhenBrentturnsaround,Wescontinues,“Tellmeagainaboutlastnight.WhatmadeyouconcludethattheSANupgradecausedthepayrollrunfailure?”

Brentrollshiseyes,“IwashelpingoneoftheSANengineersperformthefirmwareupgradeaftereverybodywenthome.Ittookwaylongerthanwethought—nothingwentaccordingtothetechnote.Itgotprettyhairy,butwefinallyfinishedaroundseveno’clock.

“WerebootedtheSAN,butthenalltheself-testsstartedfailing.Weworkeditforaboutfifteenminutes,tryingtofigureoutwhatwentwrong.That’swhenwegotthee-mailsaboutthepayrollrunfailing.That’swhenIsaid,‘GameOver.’

“Wewerejusttoomanyversionsbehind.TheSANvendorprobablynevertestedtheupgradepathweweregoingdown.Icalledyou,tellingyouIwantedtopulltheplug.Whenyougavemethenod,westartedtherollback.

“That’swhentheSANcrashed,”hesays,slumpinginhischair.“Itnotonlytookdownpayrollbutabunchofotherservers,too.”

“We’vebeenmeaningtoupgradetheSANfirmwareforyears,butwenevergotaroundtoit,”Wesexplains,turningtome.“Wecamecloseonce,butthenwecouldn’tgetabigenoughmaintenancewindow.Performancehasbeengettingworseandworse,tothepointwhereabunchofcriticalappswerebeingimpacted.Sofinally,lastnight,wedecidedtojustbitethebulletanddotheupgrade.”

Inod.Then,myphonerings.

It’sAnn,soIputheronspeakerphone.

“Asyousuggested,welookedatthedatawepulledfromthepayrolldatabaseyesterday.Thelastpayperiodwasfine.Butforthispayperiod,alltheSocialSecuritynumbersforthefactoryhourliesarecompletegibberish.Andalltheirhoursworkedandwagefieldsarezeroes,too.Noonehaseverseenanythinglikethisbefore.”

“Justonefieldisgibberish?”Iask,raisingmyeyebrowsinsurprise.“Whatdoyoumeanby‘gibberish’?What’sinthefields?”

Shetriestodescribewhatshe’sseeingonherscreen.“Well,they’renotnumbersorletters.There’ssomeheartsandspadesandsomesquigglycharacters…Andthere’sabunchofforeigncharacterswithumlauts…Andtherearenospaces.Isthatimportant?”

WhenBrentsnickersashehearsAnntryingtoreadlinenoisealoud,Igivehimasternglance.“Ithinkwe’vegotthepicture,”Isay.“Thisisaveryimportantclue.Canyousendthespreadsheetwiththecorrupteddatatome?”

Sheagrees.“Bytheway,areabunchofdatabasesdownnow?That’sfunny.Theywereuplastnight.”

Wesmutterssomethingunderhisbreath,silencingBrentbeforehecansayanything.

“Umm,yes.We’reawareoftheproblemandwe’reworkingit,too,”Ideadpan.

Whenwehangup,Ibreatheasighofrelief,takingamomenttothankwhateverdeityprotectspeoplewhofightfiresandfixoutages.

“Onlyonefieldcorruptedinthedatabase?Comeon,guys,thatdefinitelydoesn’tsoundlikeaSANfailure.”Isay.“Brent,whatelsewasgoingonyesterday,besidestheSANupgrade,thatcouldhavecausedthepayrollruntofail?”

Brentslouchesinhischair,spinningitaroundwhilehethinks.“Well,now

thatyoumentionit…Adeveloperforthetimekeepingapplicationcalledmeyesterdaywithastrangequestionaboutthedatabasetablestructure.IwasinthemiddleofworkingonthatPhoenixtestVM,soIgavehimareallyquickanswersoIcouldgetbacktowork.Youdon’tsupposehedidsomethingtobreaktheapp,doyou?”

WesturnsquicklytothespeakerphonedialedintotheNOCconferencecallthathasbeenonthiswholetimeandunmutesthephone.“Hey,guys,it’sWeshere.I’mwithBrentandPatty,aswellaswithournewboss,BillPalmer.SteveMastershasputhimchargeofallofITOps.Solistenup,guys.”

Mydesireforanorderlyannouncementofmynewroleseemslessandlesslikely.

Wescontinues,“Doesanyoneknowanythingaboutadevelopermakinganychangestothetimekeepingapplicationinthefactories?Brentsayshegotacallfromsomeonewhoaskedaboutchangingsomedatabasetables.”

Fromthespeakerphone,avoicepipesup,“Yeah,Iwashelpingsomeonewhowashavingsomeconnectivityissueswiththeplants.I’mprettysurehewasadevelopermaintainingthetimekeepingapp.HewasinstallingsomesecurityapplicationthatJohnneededtogetupandrunningthisweek.IthinkhisnamewasMax.Istillhavehiscontactinformationaroundheresomewhere…Hesaidhewasgoingonvacationtoday,whichiswhytheworkwassourgent.”

Nowwe’regettingsomewhere.

Adeveloperjamminginanurgentchangesohecouldgoonvacation—possiblyaspartofsomeurgentprojectbeingdrivenbyJohnPesche,ourChiefInformationSecurityOfficer.

Situationslikethisonlyreinforcemydeepsuspicionofdevelopers:they’reoftencarelesslybreakingthingsandthendisappearing,leavingOperationstocleanupthemess.

TheonlythingmoredangerousthanadeveloperisadeveloperconspiringwithSecurity.Thetwoworkingtogethergivesusmeans,motive,andopportunity.

I’mguessingourCISOprobablystrong-armedaDevelopmentmanagertodosomething,whichresultedinadeveloperdoingsomethingelse,whichbrokethepayrollrun.

InformationSecurityisalwaysflashingtheirbadgesatpeopleandmakingurgentdemands,regardlessoftheconsequencestotherestofthe

organization,whichiswhywedon’tinvitethemtomanymeetings.Thebestwaytomakesuresomethingdoesn’tgetdoneistohavethemintheroom.

They’realwayscomingupwithamillionreasonswhyanythingwedowillcreateasecurityholethatalienspace-hackerswillexploittopillageourentireorganizationandstealallourcode,intellectualproperty,creditcardnumbers,andpicturesofourlovedones.Thesearepotentiallyvalidrisks,butIoftencan’tconnectthedotsbetweentheirshrill,hysterical,andself-righteousdemandsandactuallyimprovingthedefensibilityofourenvironment.

“Okay,guys,”Isaydecisively.“Thepayrollrunfailureislikeacrimesceneandwe’reScotlandYard.TheSANisnolongerasuspect,butunfortunately,we’veaccidentallymaimeditduringourinvestigation.Brent,youkeepworkingontheinjuredSAN—obviously,we’vegottogetitupandrunningsoon.

“WesandPatty,ournewpersonsofinterestareMaxandhismanager,”Isay.“Dowhateverittakestofindthem,detainthem,andfigureoutwhattheydid.Idon’tcareifMaxisonvacation.I’mguessingheprobablymessedupsomething,andweneedtofixitby3p.m.”

Ithinkforamoment.“I’mgoingtofindJohn.Eitherofyouwanttojoinme?”

WesandPattyargueoverwhowillhelpinterrogateJohn.Pattysaysadamantly,“Itshouldbeme.I’vebeentryingtokeepJohn’speopleinlineforyears.Theyneverfollowourprocess,anditalwayscausesproblems.I’dlovetoseeSteveandDickrakehimoverthecoalsforpullingastuntlikethis.”

Itisapparentlyaconvincingargument,asWessays,“Okay,he’sallyours.Ialmostfeelsorryforhimnow.”

Isuddenlyregretmychoiceofwords.Thisisn’tawitchhunt,andI’mnotlookingforretribution.Westillneedatimelineofallrelevanteventsleadinguptothefailure.

JumpingtoinappropriateconclusionscausedtheSANfailurelastnight.Wewon’tmakethesekindsofmistakesagain.Notonmywatch.

AsPattyandIcallJohn,IsquintatthephonenumberonPatty’sscreen,wonderingifit’stimetoheedmywife’sadvicetogetglasses.Yetanotherreminderthatfortyisjustaroundthecorner.

Idialthenumber,andavoiceanswersinonering,“Johnhere.”

IquicklytellhimaboutthepayrollandSANfailureandthenask,“Didyoumakeanychangestothetimekeepingapplicationyesterday?”

Hesays,“Thatsoundsbad,butIcanassureyouthatwedidn’tmakeanychangestoyourmidrangesystems.SorryIcan’tbeofmorehelp.”

Isigh.IthoughtthatbynoweitherSteveorLaurawouldhavesentouttheannouncementofmypromotion.IseemdestinedtoexplainmynewroleineveryinteractionIhave.

IwonderifitwouldbeeasierifIjustsentouttheannouncementmyself.

Irepeattheabridgedstoryofmyhastypromotionyetagain.“Wes,Patty,andIheardthatyouwereworkingwithMaxtodeploysomethingurgentyesterday.Whatwasit?”

“LukeandDamonaregone?”Johnsoundssurprised.“IneverthoughtthatStevewouldactuallyfirebothofthemoveracomplianceauditfinding.Butwhoknows?Maybethingsarefinallystartingtochangearoundhere.Letthisbealessontoyou,Bill.YouOperationspeoplecan’tkeepdraggingyourfeetonsecurityissuesanymore!Justsomefriendlyadvice…

“Speakingofwhich,I’msuspiciousabouthowthecompetitionkeepsgettingthejumponus,”hecontinues.“Astheysay,onceiscoincidence.Twiceishappenstance.Thirdmustbeenemyaction.Maybeoursalespeople’se-mailsystemshavebeenhacked.Thatwouldsureexplainwhywe’relosingsomanydeals.”

Johncontinuestotalk,butmymindisstillstuckathissuggestionthatLukeandDamonmayhavebeenfiredoversomethingsecurityrelated.It’spossible—Johnroutinelydealswithsomeprettypowerfulpeople,likeSteveandtheboardaswellastheinternalandexternalauditors.

However,I’mcertainStevedidn’tmentioneitherJohnorInformationSecurityasreasonsfortheirdeparture—onlytheneedtofocusonPhoenix.

IlookatPattyquestioningly.Shejustrollshereyesandthentwirlsherfingeraroundherear.Clearly,shethinksJohn’stheoryiscrazy.

“HasStevegivenyouanyinsightsontheneworgstructure?”Iaskoutofgenuinecuriosity—Johnisalwayscomplainingthatinformationsecuritywasalwaysprioritizedtoolow.He’sbeenlobbyingtobecomeapeeroftheCIO,sayingitwouldresolveaninherentconflictofinterest.Tomyknowledge,hehadn’tsucceeded.

It’snosecretthatLukeandDamonsidelinedJohnasmuchaspossible,so

hecouldn’tinterferewithpeoplewhodidrealwork.Johnstillmanagedtoshowupatmeetings,despitetheirbestefforts.

“What?Ihavenocluewhat’sgoingon,”hesaysinanaggrievedtone,myquestionapparentlystrikinganerve.“I’mbeingkeptinthedark,likeusual.I’llprobablybethelasttofindout,too,ifhistoryisanyguide.Untilyoutoldme,IthoughtIwasstillreportingtoLuke.Andnowthathe’sgone,Idon’tknowwhoI’mreportingto.YougotacallfromSteve?”

“Thisisallabovemypaygrade—I’masmuchinthedarkasyouare,”Irespond,playingitdumb.Quicklychangingthesubject,Iask,“Whatcanyoutellusaboutthetimekeepingappchange?”

“I’llcallSteveandfindoutwhat’sgoingon.He’sprobablyforgottenInformationSecurityevenexists,”hecontinues,makingmewonderwhetherwe’lleverbeabletotalkaboutpayroll.

Tomyrelief,hefinallysays,“Okay,yeah,youwereaskingaboutMax.WehadanurgentauditissuearoundstorageofPII—thatis,personallyidentifiableinformationlikeSSNs—that’sSocialSecuritynumbers,obviously,birthdays,andsoforth.EuropeanUnionlawandnowmanyUSstatelawsprohibitusfromstoringthatkindofdata.Wegotahugeauditfindingaroundthis.Iknewitwasuptomyteamtosavethiscompanyfromitselfandpreventusfromgettingdingedagain.Thatwouldbefront-pagenews,youknow?”

Hecontinues,“Wefoundaproductthattokenizedthisinformation,sowenolongerhavetostoretheSSNs.Itwassupposedtobedeployedalmostayearago,butitnevergotdone,despiteallmybadgering.Nowwe’reoutoftime.ThePaymentCardIndustryauditors,that’sPCIforshort,areherelaterthismonth,soIfast-trackedtheworkwiththetimekeepingteamtogetitdone.”

Istareatmyphone,speechless.

Ontheonehand,I’mecstaticbecausewe’vefoundthesmokingguninJohn’shand.John’smentionoftheSSNfieldmatchesAnn’sdescriptionofthecorrupteddata.

Ontheotherhand:“LetmeseeifI’vegotthisright…”Isayslowly.“Youdeployedthistokenizationapplicationtofixanauditfinding,whichcausedthepayrollrunfailure,whichhasDickandSteveclimbingthewalls?”

Johnrespondshotly,“First,Iamquitecertainthetokenizationsecurityproductdidn’tcausetheissue.It’sinconceivable.Thevendorassuredusthatit’ssafe,andwecheckedalltheirreferences.Second,DickandStevehaveeveryreasontobeclimbingthewalls:Complianceisnotoptional.It’sthe

law.Myjobistokeepthemoutoforangejumpsuits,andsoIdidwhatIhadtodo.”

“‘Orangejumpsuits?’”

“Likewhatyouwearinprison,”hesays.“Myjobistokeepmanagementincompliancewithallrelevantlaws,regulations,andcontractualobligations.LukeandDamonwerereckless.Theycutcornersthatseverelyaffectedourauditandsecurityposture.Ifitweren’tformyactions,we’dprobablyallbeinjailbynow.”

Ithoughtweweretalkingaboutapayrollfailurenotbeingthrowninjailbysomeimaginarypoliceforce.

“John,wehaveprocessesandproceduresforhowyouintroducechangesintoproduction,”Pattysays.“Youwentaroundthem,and,onceagain,you’vecausedabigproblemthatwe’rehavingtorepair.Whydidn’tyoufollowtheprocess?”

“Ha!Goodone,Patty,”Johnsnorts.“Ididfollowtheprocess.Youknowwhatyourpeopletoldme?Thatthenextpossibledeploymentwindowwasinfourmonths.Hello?Theauditorsareon-sitenextweek!”

Hesaysadamantly,“Gettingtrappedinyourbureaucraticprocesswassimplynotanoption.Ifyouwereinmyshoes,you’ddothesamething.”

Pattyreddens.Isaycalmly,“AccordingtoDick,wehavefewerthanfourhourstogetthetimekeepingappup.NowthatweknowtherewasachangethataffectedSSNs,Ithinkwehavewhatweneed.”

Icontinue,“Max,whohelpedwiththedeployment,isonvacationtoday.WesorBrentwillbecontactingyoutolearnmoreaboutthistokenizationproductyoudeployed.Iknowyou’llprovidethemwithwhateverhelptheyneed.Thisisimportant.”

WhenJohnagrees,Ithankhimforhistime.“Wait,onemorequestion.Whydoyoubelievethatthisproductdidn’tcausethefailure?Didyoutestthechange?”

There’sashortsilenceonthephonebeforeJohnreplies,“No,wecouldn’ttestthechange.There’snotestenvironment.Apparently,youguysrequestedabudgetyearsago,but…”

Ishouldhaveknown.

“Well,that’sgoodnews,”PattysaysafterJohnhangsup.“Itmaynotbeeasytofix,butatleastwefinallyknowwhat’sgoingon.”

“WasJohn’stokenizationchangeinthechangeschedule?”Iask.

Shelaughshumorlessly.“That’swhatI’vebeentryingtotellyou.Johnrarelygoesthroughourchangeprocess.Nordomostpeople,forthatmatter.It’sliketheWildWestouthere.We’remostlyshootingfromthehip.”

Shesaysdefensively.“Weneedmoreprocessaroundhereandbettersupportfromthetop,includingITprocesstoolingandtraining.Everyonethinksthattherealwaytogetworkdoneistojustdoit.Thatmakesmyjobnearlyimpossible.”

Inmyoldgroup,wewerealwaysdisciplinedaboutdoingchanges.Noonemadechangeswithouttellingeveryoneelse,andwe’dbendoverbackwardtomakesureourchangeswouldn’tscrewsomeoneelseup.

I’mnotusedtoflyingthisblind.

“Wedon’thavetimetodointerrogationseverytimesomethinggoeswrong,”Isay,exasperated.“Getmealistofallthechangesmadeinthepast,say,threedays.Withoutanaccuratetimeline,wewon’tbeabletoestablishcauseandeffect,andwe’llprobablyendupcausinganotheroutage.”

“Goodidea,”shenods.“Ifnecessary,I’lle-maileveryoneinITtofindoutwhattheyweredoing,tocatchthingsthatweren’tonourschedule.”

“Whatdoyoumean,‘e-maileveryone?’There’snosystemwherepeopleputintheirchanges?Whataboutourticketingsystemorthechange-authorizationsystem?”Iask,stunned.ThisislikeScotlandYarde-mailingeveryoneinLondontofindoutwhowasnearthesceneofacrime.

“Dreamon,”shesays,lookingatmelikeI’manewbie,whichIsupposeIam.“Foryears,I’vebeentryingtogetpeopletouseourchangemanagementprocessandtools.ButjustlikeJohn,nooneusesit.Samewithourticketingsystem.It’sprettyhit-or-miss,too.”

ThingsarefarworsethanIthought.

“Okay,dowhatyouneedtodo,”Ifinallysay,unabletohidemyfrustration.“Makesureyouhitallthedeveloperssupportingthetimekeepingsystemaswellasallthesystemadministratorsandnetworkingpeople.Calltheirmanagers,andtellthemit’simportantthatweknowaboutanychanges,regardlessofhowunimportanttheymayseem.Don’tforgetJohn’speople,too.”

WhenPattynods,Isay,“Look,you’rethechangemanager.We’vegottodobetterthanthis.Weneedbettersituationalawareness,andthatmeanswe

needsomesortoffunctionalchangemanagementprocess.Geteveryonetobringintheirchangessowecanbuildapictureofwhatisactuallygoingonoutthere.”

Tomysurprise,Pattylooksdejected.“Look,I’vetriedthisbefore.I’lltellyouwhatwillhappen.TheChangeAdvisoryBoard,orCAB,willgettogetheronceortwice.Andwithinacoupleofweeks,peoplewillstopattending,sayingthey’retoobusy.Orthey’lljustmakethechangeswithoutwaitingforauthorizationbecauseofdeadlinepressures.Eitherway,it’llfizzleoutwithinamonth.”

“Notthistime,”Isayadamantly.“Sendoutameetingnoticetoallthetechnologyleadsandannouncethatattendanceisnotoptional.Iftheycan’tmakeit,theyneedtosendadelegate.Whenisthenextmeeting?”

“Tomorrow,”shesays.

“Excellent,”Isaywithgenuineenthusiasm.“I’mlookingforwardtoit.”

WhenIfinallygethome,it’saftermidnight.Afteralongdayofdisappointments,I’mexhausted.Balloonsareonthefloorandahalf-emptybottleofwinesitsonthekitchentable.Onthewallisacrayonpostersaying,“CongratulationsDaddy!”

WhenIcalledmywife,Paige,thisafternoontellingheraboutmypromotion,shewasfarhappierthanIwas.Sheinsistedoninvitingtheneighborsovertothrowalittlecelebration.Cominghomesolate,Imissedmyownparty.

At2p.m.,Pattyhadsuccessfullyarguedthatofthetwenty-sevenchangesmadeinthepastthreedays,onlyJohn’stokenizationchangeandtheSANupgradecouldbereasonablylinkedtothepayrollfailure.However,WesandhisteamwerestillunabletorestoreSANoperations.

At3p.m.,IhadtotellAnnandDickthebadnewsthatwehadnochoicebuttoexecuteplanB.Theirfrustrationanddisappointmentwerealltooevident.

Itwasn’tuntil7p.m.whenthetimekeepingapplicationwasbackupand11p.m.whentheSANwasfinallybroughtbackonline.

NotagreatperformanceonmyfirstdayasVPofITOperations.

BeforeIleftwork,Ie-mailedSteve,Dick,andAnnaquickstatusreport,promisingtodowhateverittakestopreventthistypeoffailurefromhappeningagain.

Igoupstairs,finishbrushingmyteeth,andcheckmyphoneonelasttimebeforegoingtobed,beingcarefulnottowakeupPaige.IcursewhenIseeane-mailfromourcompanyPRmanager,withasubjectof“Badnews.Wemaybeonthefrontpagetomorrow…”

Isitonthebed,squintingtoreadtheaccompanyingnewsstory.

ElkhartGroveHeraldTimes

PartsUnlimitedflubspaychecks,localunionleadercallsfailure‘unconscionable’

AutomotivepartssupplierPartsUnlimitedhasfailedtoadequatelycompensateitsworkers,withsomeemployeesreceivingnopayatall,accordingtoaPartsUnlimitedinternalmemo.Thelocallyheadquarteredcompanyadmittedthatithadfailedtoissuecorrectpaycheckstosomeofitshourlyfactoryworkersandthatothershadn’treceivedanycompensationfortheirwork.PartsUnlimiteddeniesthattheissueisconnectedtocashflowproblemsandinsteadattributestheerrortoapayrollsystemfailure.

Theoncehigh-flying$4billioncompanyhasbeenplaguedbyflaggingrevenueandgrowinglossesinrecentquarters.Thesefinancialwoes,whichsomeblameonafailureofuppermanagement,haveledtorampantjobinsecurityamonglocalworkersstrugglingtosupporttheirfamilies.

Accordingtothememo,whateverthecauseofthepayrollfailure,employeesmighthavetowaitdaysorweekstobecompensated.

“Thisisjustthelatestinalongstringofmanagementexecutionmisstepstakenbythecompanyinrecentyears,”accordingtoNestorMeyersChiefIndustryAnalystKellyLawrence.

PartsUnlimitedCFODickLandrydidnotreturnphonecallsfromtheHeraldTimesrequestingcommentonthepayrollissue,accountingerrorsandquestionsofmanagerialcompetency.

InastatementissuedonbehalfofPartsUnlimited,Landryexpressedregretatthe“glitch,”andvowedthatthemistakewouldnotberepeated.

TheHeraldTimeswillcontinuetopostupdatesasthestoryprogresses.

Tootiredtodoanythingmore,Iturnoffthelights,makingamentalnotetomyselftofindDicktomorrowtoapologizeinperson.Iclosemyeyesandtrytosleep.

AnhourlaterI’mstillstaringattheceiling,verymuchawake.

Chapter4•Wednesday,September3

IdrinkmycoffeeasIopenupmylaptopat7:30a.m.,hopingtogetthroughmye-mailsandvoicemailsbeforemy8a.m.meeting.Istareatthescreen.Inthetwenty-twohourssinceIwaspromoted,526newe-mailshavearrivedinmyinbox.

Holycrap.

Iskipallthemessagesaboutyesterday’sfailureandamstartledbyallthecongratulatorynotesfromvendors,wantingtomeetforlunch.Howdidtheyfindout?I’mprettysuremostofmyorganizationstilldoesn’tknow.

Ireadane-mailfromEllen,myformerboss’assistant,whoisnowassignedtosupportme,congratulatingmeandaskingwhenwecanmeet.Ireply,tellingherI’dliketotakeheroutforcoffeethismorning.IsendanotetotheITservicedesk,requestingthatEllenbegrantedaccesstomycalendar.

Ablinkingredlightonmydeskphonecatchesmyattention.Itreads,“7:50a.m.62newvoicemails.”

Myjawdrops.ItwouldtakeanhourIdon’thavejusttolistentothem.Ie-mailEllenagain,askinghertogothroughallmyvoicemails,transcribinganythatrequireaction.

BeforeIhitsend,Iquicklyadd,“IfthereareanymessagesfromSteveorDick,pleasecallmerightawayonmycellphone.”

Grabbingmyclipboard,Ihurrytowardmyfirstmeetingwhenmyphonevibrates.It’sanurgente-mail:

From:SarahMoulton

To:BillPalmer

Cc:SteveMasters

Date:September3,7:58AM

Priority:Highest

Subject:LatestPhoenixslip

Bill,asyouknow,ProjectPhoenixisthemostimportantprojectthiscompanyisundertaking.I’vehearddisturbing

rumorsthatyouareholdinguptherelease.

Idon’tneedtoremindyouthatourcompetitionisn’tstandingstill.Eachdaythatgoesby,ourmarketsharegoesdown.Ineedeveryonetohaveasenseofurgency.Especiallyfromyou,Bill.

Wehaveanemergencyprojectmanagementmeetingat10AMtoday.Pleasejoinus,andbepreparedtoexplaintheseunacceptabledelays.

Steve,Iknowhowimportantthisprojectisforyou,giventhecommitmentsyou’vemadetotheboard.Pleasefeelfreetoattend.We’dloveyourperspective.

Regards,

Sarah

Goddamnit.

Iforwardthee-mailtoWesandPatty,flaggingitashighpriority.Somethingseemswronginaworldwherehalfthee-mailmessagessentareurgent.Caneverythingreallybethatimportant?

IcallWes’cellphone.“Ijustgotyoure-mailfromSarah,”hesays.“Whatutterbullshit.”

“What’sthisallthisabout?”Iask.

Hesays,“I’mprettysureit’saboutBrentnotfinishingupthatconfigurationworkforthePhoenixdevelopers.Everyoneischasingtheirtailsbecausethedeveloperscan’tactuallytelluswhatthetestenvironmentshouldlooklike.We’redoingourbest,buteverytimewedeliversomething,theytelluswediditwrong.”

“Whendidtheytellusaboutit?”Iask.

“Twoweeksago.It’sthetypicalbullshitwithDevelopment,butworse.They’resofreakedoutabouthittingtheirdeadlines,they’reonlynowstartingtothinkabouthowtotestanddeployit.Apparently,they’remakingitourproblem.Ihopeyou’rewearingyourasbestosunderwearlikeme.Sarahisgoingtobeatthatmeetingwithtorches,wantingtothrowusontothebonfire.”

It’samazingtomehowhandoffsbetweenDevelopmentandITOperationsalwaysgetscrewedup.Butgiventheperpetualtribalwarfarebetweenthetwo

groups,maybeIshouldn’tbesurprised.

Ireply,“Igetthepicture.Look,makesureyoudigintothisDevspecificationissuepersonally.We’vegottogetthisnaileddown—grabeveryoneinvolved,whetherthey’reinDevorOps,andlocktheminaroomuntiltheycomeupwithawrittenspecification.Phoenixissoimportant,wecan’taffordtoscrewthisup.”

Wessayshe’sonit,andIask,“IsthereanythingelseSarahcouldpoponus?”

Hepausestothinkandfinallysays,“No,Idon’tthinkso.Wehaveaprettyvalidreason,withthepayrollrunfailure,forwhyBrentwasn’tabletocompletehiswork.”

Iagree.Feelinglikeourassesaresufficientlycovered,Isay,“Seeyouatten.”

Lessthananhourlater,I’mwalkingtoBuilding9inthehotsunshine,wheremanyoftheMarketingfolkscallhome.Tomysurprise,IjoinasmallarmyofITpeoplewalkingthesameway.Why?

Thenithitsme.Themajorityofourmarketingprojectscan’tbedonewithoutIT.Hightouchmarketingrequireshightech.Butifthere’ssomanyofusassignedtotheseMarketingprojects,shouldn’ttheybecomingtous?

IimaginethatSarahlikesitthisway,thespidersittingback,enjoyingseeingallthecompanyminionsmakingtheirwaytoherlair.

IarriveandimmediatelyseeKirstenFingle,whorunstheProjectManagementOfficesittingattheheadofthetable.Iamabigfanofhers.Sheisorganized,levelheaded,andasticklerforaccountability.Whenshefirstjoinedthecompanyfiveyearsago,shebroughtawholenewlevelofprofessionalismtoourorganization.

Atherright,Sarahleansbackinherchair,tappingawayonheriPhone,oblivioustotherestofus.

Sarahismyage:thirty-nine.She’sveryguardedaboutherage,alwayssayingthingsinawaythatwouldleadonetoconcludeshe’smucholder,butneveractuallylying.

YetanothermaddeningthingaboutSarah.

Thereareabouttwenty-fivepeopleintheroom.Manyofthebusinesslineownersarehere,someofwhomworkforSarah.ChrisAllersisalsohere.

Chrisisalittleolderthanmeandlooksleanandfit.He’lljustasoftenbeseenjokingwithsomeoneaskickingtheirassaboutmissingadeadline.Hehasareputationasacapableandno-nonsensemanager.Withnearlytwohundreddevelopersworkingforhim,heneedstobe.

TohelpwithPhoenix,histeamhasgrownbyfiftypeopleinthelasttwoyears,manythroughoffshoredevelopmentshops.Chrisisconstantlyaskedtodelivermorefeaturesanddoitinlesstime,withlessmoney.

Severalofhismanagersareintheroom,too.Wesisalsohere,sittingrightnexttoChris.AsIstarttolookforanopenchair,Inotehoweveryoneseemsunusuallytense.AndthenIseewhy.

There,sittingrightnexttotheonlyopenseatatthetable,isSteve.

Everyoneseemstobegoingtogreatlengthstonotstareathim.AsIcasuallytakemyseatnexttoSteve,myphonevibrates.It’satextmessagefromWes:

Shit.Stevehasneverattendedaprojectmanagementmeeting.Wearetotallyscrewed.

Kirstenclearsherthroat.“FirstonouragendaisPhoenix.Thenewsisn’tgood.Thisprojectwentfromyellowtoredaboutfourweeksago,andit’smypersonalassessmentthatthedeadlineisingravejeopardy.”

Shecontinuesinherprofessionalvoice,“Torefreshyourmemory,lastweekthereweretwelvetasksinthecriticalpathofPhoenixPhase1.Onlythreeofthosetaskswerecompleted.”

Thereisacollectivegroanintheroom,andseveralpeoplemuttertooneanother.Steveturnstolookatme.“Well?”

Iexplain,“ThecriticalresourceinquestionisBrent,whohasbeenonehundredpercentutilizedhelpingtorecoverfromthepayrollfailure,whichweallknowabout.Thiswasatotallyunforeseenemergencybutobviouslyonethatwehadtohandle.EveryoneknowshowimportantPhoenixis,andwearedoingeverythingwecantomakesureBrentcanstayfocused.”

“Thanksforthatsupercreativeexplanation,Bill,”Sarahimmediatelyresponds.“Therealissuehereisthatyourpeopledon’tseemtograsphowimportantPhoenixistothecompany.Ourcompetitioniskillingusinthemarket.You’veallseenandheardthecommercialsabouttheirnewservices.They’rebeatingusoninnovation,bothintheretailstoresandonline.They’vealreadyluredawaysomeofourbiggestpartners,andoursalesforceis

startingtopanic.I’mnotthetypetosay,‘Itoldyouso,’buttheirlatestproductannouncementshowswhywecan’tbeactingasifthisisjustbusinessasusual.”

Shecontinues,“See,Bill,inorderforustoincreasemarketshare,wemustshipPhoenix.Butforsomereason,youandyourteamkeepdraggingyourfeet.Maybeyou’renotprioritizingcorrectly?Ormaybeyou’rejustnotusedtosupportingaprojectthisimportant?”

Despiteallmymentalpreparation,Ifeelmyfacegethotwithanger.MaybeitwasthecondescendingwayshewasparrotingStevetome.Orhowshewasn’tevenlookingatmewhileshewasaddressingme,insteadlookingatStevetoseehowhereacts.Orthewayshebasicallycalledmeout-of-touchandincompetent.

EveryoneissilentasIforcemyselftotakeadeepbreath.

Myangerdissipates.Thisisalljustcorporatetheater.Idon’tlikeitbutacceptitforwhatitis.IalmostmadetheMarinesmycareerwhenIwasupforpromotiontostaffsergeant.Youdon’tbecomeaseniorNCOintheMarineswithoutbeingabletoplaypolitics.

“Interesting,”IsaytoSarah.“Youtellmewhichismoreimportant:gettingourfactoryemployeespaidorgettingthePhoenixtasksdone?Stevetoldmetoresolvethepayrollfailure.HowwouldyouhaveprioritizedthisdifferentlythanSteve?”

AtmymentionofSteve,Sarah’sexpressionchanges.“Well,maybeifITdidn’tcausethefailureinthefirstplace,youwouldn’thaveblownyourcommitmentstous.Idon’tthinkwecandependonyouandyourteam.”

Inodslowly,nottakingthebait.“Ilookforwardtoanysuggestionsyouhavetooffer,Sarah.”

Shelooksatme,thenatSteve.Apparentlydecidingtherearenomorepointstobegainedhere,sherollshereyes.IseeWesshakinghisheadindisbeliefatthisdiscussion,stayinguncharacteristicallyquiet.

Sarahcontinues,“We’vespentover$20milliononPhoenix,andwe’renearlytwoyearslate.Wemustgettomarket.”LookingoveratChris,sheasks,“GiventhedelaysfromBill’sgroup,whenisthesoonestwecangolive?”

Chrislooksupfromhispapers.“I’velookedintothissincewetalkedlastweek.IfweexpeditesomethingsandifthevirtualizedenvironmentsfromBill’steamworkasexpected,wecangointoproductiononeweekfrom

Friday.”

IgapeatChris.Hejustmadeupanarbitrarydatetogointoproduction,withcompletedisregardforallthethingsweneedtodobeforedeployment.

Ihaveasuddenflashback.IntheMarines,wehadaritualforalltheseniorNCOs.We’dhangoutwithbeersandwatchStarWars:ReturnoftheJedi.EverytimeAdmiralAckbarwouldcry,“It’satrap!”we’dalllaughuproariously,yellingforareplay.

Thistime,I’mnotlaughing.

“Nowjustwaitagoddamnedminutehere!”Wesinterjects,poundingthetable.“Whatthehellareyoutryingtopull?WejustfoundouttwoweeksagoaboutthespecificsofthePhoenixdeployment.Yourguysstillhaven’ttolduswhatsortofinfrastructureweneed,sowecan’tevenorderthenecessaryserverandnetworkinggear.Andbytheway,thevendorsarealreadyquotingusthree-weekdeliverytimes!”

HeisnowfacingChris,pointingathimangrily.“Oh,andI’veheardthattheperformanceofyourcodeissoshitty,we’regoingtoneedthehottest,fastestgearoutthere.You’resupposedtosupport250transactionspersecond,andyou’rebarelydoingevenfour!We’regoingtoneedsomuchhardwarethatwe’llneedanotherchassistoputitallinandprobablyhavetopayacustom-manufacturingfeetogetitintime.Godknowswhatthiswilldotothebudget.”

Chriswantstorespond,butWesisrelentless.“Westilldon’thaveaconcretespecificationofhowtheproductionandtestsystemsshouldbeconfigured.Oh,doyouguysnotneedatestenvironmentanymore?Youhaven’tevendoneanyrealtestingofyourcodeyet,becausethatfellofftheschedule,too!”

Myheartlurchesasalltheimplicationssinkin.I’veseenthismoviebefore.Theplotissimple:First,youtakeanurgentdate-drivenproject,wheretheshipmentdatecannotbedelayedbecauseofexternalcommitmentsmadetoWallStreetorcustomers.Thenyouaddabunchofdeveloperswhouseupallthetimeintheschedule,leavingnotimefortestingoroperationsdeployment.Andbecausenooneiswillingtoslipthedeploymentdate,everyoneafterDevelopmenthastotakeoutrageousandunacceptableshortcutstohitthedate.

Theresultsareneverpretty.Usually,thesoftwareproductissounstableandunusablethateventhepeoplewhowerescreamingforitendupsayingthatit’snotworthshipping.Andit’salwaysITOperationswhostillhastostay

upallnight,rebootingservershourlytocompensateforcrappycode,doingwhateverheroicsarerequiredtohidefromtherestoftheworldjusthowbadthingsreallyare.

“Guys,IunderstandthedesiretogetPhoenixintoproductionasquicklyaspossible,”IsaytoSteveandChrisascalmlyasIcan.“Butbasedonwhatwe’veheardfromWes,Ithinkitisincrediblyprematuretodeploy.Westilldon’tknowwhatequipmentweneedtohittheperformanceobjectives,norhavewedoneanycapacitytestingtoconfirmourguesses.It’sunlikelywehaveadequatedocumentationtorunthisthinginproduction,letalonegeteverythingmonitoredandbackedup.”

Inmymostpersuasivevoice,Icontinue,“IwantPhoenixinthemarketasbadlyasanyoneelse,butiftheuserexperienceisbadenough,we’llendupdrivingourcustomerstothecompetition.”

IturntoChris.“Youcan’tjustthrowthepigoverthewalltous,andthenhigh-fiveeachotherintheparkinglot,congratulatingyourselvesonhowyoumadethedeadline.Wesistellingusthatthepigwillprobablybreakitsleg,andit’llbemyguyswhoworkall-nightersandweekendstokeepthatpigalive.”

Chrisreplieshotly,“Don’tgivemethatbullshitabout‘throwingthepigoverthewall.’Weinvitedyourpeopletoourarchitectureandplanningmeetings,butIcancountononehandthenumberoftimesyouguysactuallyshowedup.Weroutinelyhavehadtowaitdaysorevenweekstogetanythingweneedfromyouguys!”

Thenhejustholdsuphishands,asifeverythingisoutsideofhiscontrol.“Look,I’dlikemoretime,too.Butfromtheverybeginning,weallknewthatthiswasadate-drivenproject.Thatwasabusinessdecisionweallmade.”

“Exactly!”SarahexclaimsbeforeIcanrespond.“ThisjustshowshowBillandhisteamlackthenecessarysenseofurgency.Perfectionistheenemyofgood.Bill,wesimplydonothavetheluxuryoftimetopolishthistowhatevergoldstandardyou’reproposing.Weneedtocreatepositivecashflow,andwecannotdothatwithouttakingbackmarketshare.Andtodothat,weneedtodeployPhoenix.”

ShelooksoveratSteve.“Weunderstandrisk,don’twe,Steve?You’vebeendoinganabsolutelyamazingjobsellingthistoanalystsandeventheguysonCNBC—Idon’tthinkwewanteggonourfacebyshippingevenlaterthanwealreadyare.”

Stevenodshisheadandrubshischin,rockingbackandforthinhischair

ashethinks.“Agreed,”hefinallysays,leaningforward.“We’vemadecommitmentstoourinvestorsandanalyststhatweweregoingtolaunchPhoenixthisquarter.”

Myjawdrops.Sarahhasbluntedallmyarguments,leadingStevedownareckless,destructivepath.

Exasperated,Isay,“Doesanyonethinkthisisreallyodd?I’vebeeninthisroomwhenwediscussedinstallingnewwaterfountainsinthefrontofeverystore.Wegavethatteamninemonthstoplantherollout.Ninemonths!Andallofusagreedthatwasreasonable.

“Nowwe’retalkingaboutPhoenix,whichimpactsthousandsofpointofsalesystems,andalloftheback-officeorderentrysystems.Thisisatleasttenthousandtimesmorecomplexthanrollingoutnewwaterfountains,withwaymorerisktothebusiness.Andyou’reonlygivingusoneweektoplanandexecutetherollout?”

Ithrowmyhandsup,imploringSteve,“Doesn’tthisseemabitrecklessandunfair?”

Kirstennods,butSarahsaysdismissively,“Bill,that’satouchingstorybutwe’renotdiscussingwaterfountains,we’rediscussingPhoenix.Besides,Ibelievethedecisionhasalreadybeenmade.”

Stevesays,“Yes,ithas.Thankyouforsharingwhatyouviewastherisks,Bill.”HeturnstoSarah.“Whenisthelaunchdate?”

Sarahrepliesquickly,“MarketinglaunchisnextSaturday,September13.Phoenixwilldeployat5p.m.thepreviousday.”

Stevewritesthedateinthebackofhisnotebookandsays,“Good.Keepmepostedonprogress,andletmeknowifthere’sanythingIcandotohelp.”

IlookoveratWes,whomimeswithhishandsanairplanecrashingintothetableinfrontofhimandburstingintoflames.

Inthehallway,Wessays,“Ithoughtthatwentprettywell,boss.”

I’mnotlaughing.“Whatthehellhappenedinthere?Howdidwegetintothisposition?Doesanyoneknowwhat’srequiredfromustosupportthislaunch?”

“Noonehasadamnedclue,”hesays,shakinghisheadindisgust.“Wehaven’tevenagreedonhowtodothehandoffwithDevelopment.Inthepast,they’vejustpointedtoanetworkfolderandsaid,‘Deploythat.’Thereare

newbornbabiesdroppedoffatchurchdoorstepswithmoreoperatinginstructionsthanwhatthey’regivingus.”

Ishakemyheadathisawfulimagery,buthe’sright.We’vegotaseriousproblemhere.

Hecontinues,“We’regoingtohavetoassembleahugeteam,includingChris’guys,tofigureouthowwe’regoingtopullthisoff.Wehaveproblemsateverylayer:networking,servers,databases,operatingsystems,applications,Layer7switching—thewholewadofcrap.It’sgoingtobelatenightsforallofusforthenextninedays.”

Inodunhappily.Thistypeofall-handseffortisjustanotherpartoflifeinIT,butitmakesmeangrywhenweneedtomakesomeheroic,divingcatchbecauseofsomeoneelse’slackofplanning.

Isay,“Getyourteamassembled,andaskChristoassemblehisrespectiveteamaswell.Stoptryingtodothisbye-mailandintheticketingsystem.Weneedeveryoneinthesameroom.”

“Speakingofcommitments,”Isay,“WhatwasChrisreferringtowhenhesaidthatourguysnevershoweduptothePhoenixarchitectureandplanningmeetings?Isthattrue?”

Wesrollshiseyesinfrustration.“Yeah,it’struethathispeoplewouldinviteusatthelastminute.Seriously,whocancleartheircalendaronlessthanaday’snotice?”

“Although,infairness,”hesays,afteramoment,“wedidgetamplenoticeonacoupleofthebigplanningmeetings.Andoneofthemostcriticalpeoplewhoneededtobetherewasn’tabletomakeit,duetoescalations.Youcanprobablyguesswhothatis…”

Igroan.“Brent?”

Wesnods,“Yep.He’stheguyweneedatthosemeetingstotellthosegoddamneddevelopershowthingsworkintherealworldandwhattypeofthingskeepbreakinginproduction.Theirony,ofcourse,isthathecan’ttellthedevelopers,becausehe’stoobusyrepairingthethingsthatarealreadybroken.”

He’sright.Unlesswecanbreakthiscycle,we’llstayinourterribledownwardspiral.Brentneedstoworkwithdeveloperstofixissuesatthesourcesowecanstopfightingfires.ButBrentcan’tattend,becausehe’stoobusyfightingfires.

Isay,“Weneedourbestmindstoprepareforthisdeployment,somakesureBrentisthere.”

Weslookssheepishforamoment.Iaskhim,“What?”

“Ithinkhe’sworkinganetworkoutagerightnow.”hereplies.

“Notanymore,”Isay.“They’regoingtohavetofixitwithouthim.Ifsomeonehasaproblemwiththat,sendthemtome.”

“Okay,whateveryouwant,boss.”hesays,shrugginghisshoulders.

Aftertheprojectmanagementmeeting,I’minnomoodtotalktoanyone.Isitatmydeskandgrumblewhenmylaptopdoesn’twakeup.Thediskdrivelightjustkeepsblinking.Whennothingshowsonthescreen,IgrabmyemptymugthatIkeeponmydeskbythepictureofPaigeandmytwosonsandwalktothecoffeemachineinthecorner.

WhenIgetbacktomydesk,awindowonthescreentellsmethatit’sgoingtoinstallsomecriticalnewupdates.Isitdown,click“OK”andwatchthestatusbarcrawlacrossthescreen.Suddenly,Iseethedreaded“bluescreenofdeath.”Mylaptopisnowcompletelylockedupandunusable.

IthappensagainevenafterIreboot.Imutterinfrustration,“You’vegottobekiddingme!”

Justthen,Ellen,mynewassistant,pokesherheadaroundthecorner.Holdingoutherhandshesays,“Goodmorning.Congratulationsonthepromotion,Bill!”Noticingmyblue-screenedlaptop,shesayssympathetically,“Ooh,thatdoesn’tlookgood.”

“Umm,thanks.”Isay,reachingouttoshakeherhand.“Yeah,aboutthislaptop,canyougetaholdofsomeoneindesktopsupport?There’ssomeseriouscrapheadedourwayfromPhoenix,andI’mgoingtoneedit.”

“Noproblem,”shesays,noddingwithasmile.“I’lltellthemournewVPishoppingmad,demandingthathislaptopgetfixed.Ofallpeople,youneedaworkingcomputer,right?

“Youknow,”sheadds,“I’veheardthatabunchofotherpeoplearehavingproblemslikethistoday.I’llmakesureyougettothetopofthelist.Youcan’taffordtowaitinline.”

Morebrickedlaptops?Thisissurelyevidencethattheuniverseisouttogetmetoday.

“Bytheway,IneedsomehelpcoordinatingsomeemergencyPhoenix

meetings.Hasanyonegrantedyouaccesstomycalendaryet?”Iask.

Sherollshereyes.“No.That’sactuallywhyIcamedownhere.Iwantedtoseeifyoucouldprintoutyournextcoupleofdays.Obviously,that’soutofthequestion.I’llhavethedesktopsupportpersondothatwhilehe’shere.Sometimesittakesweeksforthee-mailadministratorstogetaroundtostufflikethis.”

Weeks?That’sunacceptable.IquicklylookatmywatchandrealizeI’llhavetotacklethislater.I’malreadylate.

“Doyourbest,”Isay.“I’mofftoPatty’senterprisechangemanagementmeeting.Callmeifyouneedanything,okay?”

BeingtenminuteslatetoPatty’smeeting,Ihurryintotheroom,expectingtoseeeitherabunchofpeoplewaitingformeimpatientlyorperhapsameetingalreadyunderway.

Instead,IseeonlyPattysittingattheconferencetable,typingawayonherlaptop.

“WelcometotheCAB,Bill.Ihopeyoucanfindanemptychair,”shesays.

“Whereiseverybody?”Iask.

I’mbaffled.WhenIranthemidrangegroup,myteamwouldnevermissourchangemanagementmeetings.Itwaswherewecoordinatedandorganizedallourworktomakesurewedidn’tshootourselvesinthefoot.

“Itoldyouyesterdaythatchangemanagementaroundhereishit-or-miss,”Pattysays,sighing.“Somegroupshavetheirownlocalchange-managementprocess,likeyours.Butmostgroupsdonothingatall.Yesterday’soutageisjustproofthatweneedtohavesomethingattheenterpriselevel.Rightnow,thelefthandrarelyknowswhattherighthandisdoing.”

“So,what’stheproblem?”Iask.

Shepursesherlip.“Idon’tknow.WesentabunchofpeopletoITILtraining,sotheycouldgetuptospeedonallthebestpractices.Webroughtinsomeconsultants,whohelpedusreplaceourticketingsystemwithanITIL-compliantchangemanagementtool.Peopleweresupposedtoputchangerequestsintoit,whereitwouldgetroutedforapprovals.But,evenaftertwoyears,allwehaveisagreatprocessonpaperthatnoonefollowsandatoolthatnooneuses.WhenIpesterpeopletousethem,allIgetarecomplaintsandexcuses.”

Inod.ITILstandsforITInfrastructureLibrary,whichdocumentsmanyIT

bestpracticesandprocesses,andtheITILprogramhashadareputationofspendingyearsmerelywalkingincircles.

I’mbotheredthatWesisn’there.Iknowhe’sbusy,butifhe’snothere,whywouldanyofhispeoplebothertoshowup?Effortslikethismuststartandbecontinuallymaintainedfromthetop.

“Well,theycanbringtheircomplaintsandexcusestome,”Isayadamantly.“We’rerebootingthechangemanagementprocess.Withmytotalsupport.Steve’stoldmetomakesurepeoplecanstayfocusedonPhoenix.ScrewupsliketheSANfailuremadeusmissaPhoenixdeliverable,andnowwe’repayingforit.Ifsomeonewantstoskipachangemanagementmeeting,theyobviouslyareinneedofsomespecialcompassionatecoaching.Fromme.”

AtPatty’spuzzledexpressionatmyPhoenixreference,ItellherabouthowWesandIspentourmorningbeingrunoverbythebus.SarahandChriswereatthewheel,butStevewasinback,cheeringthemontofloorit.

“Notgood,”shesays,disapprovingly.“TheyevenranoverKirsten,huh?”

Inodsilentlybutrefusetosaymore.IalwayslikedthatphraseinSavingPrivateRyan:“There’sachainofcommand:gripesgoup,notdown.”

Instead,Iaskhertowalkmethroughthecurrentchangeprocessandthewayit’sbeenautomatedinthetools.Itallsoundsgood.Butthere’sonlyonewaytoseeiftheprocessworks.

Isay,“ScheduleanotherCABmeetingforthesametimeFriday.I’llsendoutane-mailtoalltheCABmemberslettingthemknowthatthisismandatory.”

WhenIgetbacktomycubicle,Ellenisatmydesk,bendingovermylaptop,writinganote.

“Everythingworking,Ihope?”Iask.

Shestartlesatthesoundofmyvoice.“Oh,myGod.Youscaredme,”shesayslaughing.“Supportleftyouareplacementlaptopbecausetheycouldn’tgetyourlaptoptoboot,evenafterahalfhouroftrying.”

Shepointsatthefarsideofmydesk,andIdoadoubletake.

Myreplacementlaptopappearstobealmosttenyearsold—it’stwiceaslargeasmyoldoneandlooksthreetimesasheavy.Thebatteryhasbeentapedon,andhalfthekeyboardletteringiswornofffromheavyuse.

Foramoment,Iwonderifthisisapracticaljoke.

Isitdownandbringupmye-mail,buteverythingissoslowthatseveraltimesIthoughtithadlockedup.

Ellenhasasympatheticexpressiononherface.“Thesupportguysaidthatthisisalltheyhaveavailabletoday.Overtwohundredpeoplearehavingsimilarproblems,andmanyaren’tgettingreplacements.Apparently,peoplewithyourlaptopmodelalsohavehadtheir’sbreakbecauseofsomesecuritypatch.”

Damn.Iforgot.It’sPatchTuesday,whenJohnandhisteamrolloutalltheirsecuritypatchesfromourmajorvendors.Onceagain,Johniscausinghugeissuesanddisruptionsformyteamandme.

Imerelynodandthankherforthehelp.Aftershe’sgone,Isitdownandtypeoutane-mailtoalltheCABmembers,mykeystrokesoftentakingtensecondstoshowuponthescreen.

From:BillPalmer

To:WesDavis,PattyMcKee,ITOperationsManagement

Date:September3,2:43PM

Priority:Highest

Subject:MandatoryCABmeetingFriday,2PM

Today,IattendedtheweeklyCABmeeting.IwasextremelydisappointedthatIwastheonlyonethere,besidesPatty,especiallygiventhetotallyavoidable,change-relatedfailureyesterday.

Effectiveimmediately,managers(ortheirassigneddelegates)arerequiredtoattendallscheduledCABmeetingsandtoperformtheirassignedduties.WeareresurrectingthePartsUnlimitedchangemanagementprocessanditwillbefollowedtotheletter.

Anyperson(s)caughtcircumventingchangemanagementwillbesubjecttodisciplinaryaction.

TherewillbeamandatoryCABmeetingFridayat2PM.Seeyouthere.

Callmeifyouhaveanyquestionsorconcerns.

Thanksforyoursupport,

Bill

Ihitsend,waitingfifteensecondsforthee-mailtofinallyleavemyoutbox.Almostimmediately,mycellphonerings.

It’sWes.Isay,“Iwasjustabouttocallyouaboutthelaptops.We’vegottogetreplacementstoourmanagersandemployeessotheycandotheirjobs,youhear?”

“Yeah,we’reonit.ButI’mnotcallingaboutthat.AndI’mnotcallingaboutPhoenix,either,”hesays,soundingirritated.“Look,aboutyourmemoonchangemanagement:Iknowyou’retheboss,butyoubetterknowthatthelasttimewedidoneofthesechangemanagementkumbayas,weranITstraightintotheground.Noone,andImeanabsolutelynoone,couldgetagoddamnedthingdone.Pattyinsistedonhavingeveryonetakeanumberandwaitforherpointy-headstoauthorizeandscheduleourchanges.Itwasabsolutelyridiculousandatotalwasteoftime.”

He’sunstoppable:“Thatsoftwareapplicationshemadeususeisatotalpieceofcrap.Ittakestwentyminutestofilloutallthegoddamnedfieldsforasimplefive-minutechange!Idon’tknowwhodesignedtheprocess,butIthinktheyassumedthatweallgetpaidbythehourandwanttotalkaboutdoingworkinsteadofactuallydoingwork.

“Eventually,theNetworkingandServerTeamstagedarebellion,refusingtousePatty’stool,”hecontinuesheatedly.“ButJohnwavedanauditfindingaroundandwenttoLuke,ouroldCIO.Andjustlikeyoudid,Lukesaidthatfollowingpolicieswasaconditionofemployment,threateningtofireanybodywhodidn’tfollowthem.

“MyguyswerespendinghalftheirtimedoingpaperworkandsittinginthatdamnedCABmeeting,”hecontinues.“Luckily,theeffortfinallydied,andJohnwastoocluelesstocatchonthatnoonewasactuallygoingtothemeetingsanymore.EvenJohnhasn’tgonetooneofthosemeetingsinoverayear!”

Interesting.

“Ihearyou,”Isay.“Wecan’trepeatthat,butwealsocan’thaveanotherpayrolldisaster.Wes,Ineedyouthere,andIneedyoutohelpcreatethesolution.Otherwise,you’repartoftheproblem.CanIcountonyou?”

Ihearhimsighloudly.“Yeah,sure.Butyoucanalsocountonmecalling‘bullshit’ifIseePattytryingtocreatesomesortofbureaucracythatsucksouteverybody’swilltolive.”

Isigh.

Before,IwasmerelyworriedthatITOperationswasunderattackbyDevelopment,InformationSecurity,Audit,andthebusiness.Now,I’mstartingtorealizethatmyprimarymanagersseemtobeatwarwitheachother,aswell.

Whatwillittakeforustoallgetalong?

Chapter5•Thursday,September4

Iwakeupwithajoltwhenthealarmclockgoesoffat6:15a.m..Myjawstillhurtsfromclenchingitallnight.ThedismalprospectsoftheupcomingPhoenixlaunchwereneverfarfrommymind.

Asusual,beforeclimbingoutofbed,Iquicklyscanmyphoneforanybadnews.Usually,Iwouldspendabouttenminutesreplyingtoe-mails—italwaysfeelsgoodtolobacoupleofballsoffmysideofthecourt.

IseesomethingthatmakesmeboltuprightsoabruptlythatIwakeupPaige.“Oh,myGod.What,what?”sheasksfrantically,notfullyawake.

“It’sanothere-mailfromSteve.Hangon,darling…”Isaytoher,whileIsquinttoreadit.

From:SteveMasters

To:BillPalmer

Cc:NancyMailer,DickLandry

Date:September4,6:05AM

Priority:Highest

Subject:URGENT:SOX-404ITAuditFindingsReview

Bill,pleaselookintothisASAP.Idon’tneedtotellyouhowcriticalitistohaveacleanSOX-404audit.

Nancy,pleaseworkwithBillPalmer,whoisnowinchargeofITOperations.

Steve

>>>Beginforwardedmessage:

WejustconcludedourQ3internalauditinpreparationfortheupcomingSOX-404externalaudit.Wediscoveredsomeveryconcerningdeficienciesthatweneedtodiscusswithyou.Duetotheseverityandurgencyofthefindings,weneedtomeetwithITthismorning.

Nancy

Indeed,there’satwo-hourmeetingscheduledfor8a.m.onmycalendar,

setupbyNancyMailer,ChiefAuditExecutive.

Holycrap.Sheisincrediblysmartandformidable.Yearsagoduringtheretailacquisitionintegration,Iwatchedhergrillamanagerfromthebusinesswewereacquiring.Hewaspresentingtheirfinancialperformance,whenshestartedarapid-fireinterrogation,likeacrossbetweenColumbo,Matlock,andScarface.

Hequicklybroke,admittingthathewasexaggeratinghisdivision’sperformance.

Recallingthatmeeting,myarmpitsfeeldamp.Ihaven’tdoneanythingwrong.Butgiventhetoneofthee-mail,sheisclearlyhotonthetrailofsomethingimportant,andStevejustthrewmeinherpath.

I’vealwaysrunaverytightshipinmyMidrangeTechnologygroup.ThiskeptAuditfrominterferingtoomuch.Sure,therewouldstillbealotofquestionsanddocumentationrequests,requiringustospendafewweekscollectingdataandpreparingresponses.Occasionally,theywouldfindsomething,butwewouldquicklyfixit.

Iliketothinkthatwebuiltamutuallyrespectfulworkingrelationship.However,thise-mailportendssomethingmoreominous.

Ilookatmywatch.Themeetingisinninetyminutes,andIdon’thaveaclueaboutwhatshewantstotalkabout.

“Shit!”Iexclaim,asIjostlePaige’sshoulder.“Honey,canyoudrivethekidsintoschooltoday?SomethingreallybadjustcameupinvolvingtheChiefAuditExecutiveandSteve.Ineedtomakesomephonecallsandgettotheofficerightaway.”

Annoyed,shesays,“Fortwoyearsyou’vealwaystakenthekidsonThursdays!Ihaveanearlystarttoday,too!”

“I’msorry,honey.Thisisreallyimportant.TheCEOofthecompanyaskedmetohandlethis.SteveMasters.Youknow,theguyonTVandwhogivesthebigspeechesatthecompanyholidayparty?Ican’tdropanotherballafteradaylikeyesterday.Andthenewspaperheadlinethenightbeforethat—”

Withoutaword,shestormsdownthestairs.

WhenIfinallyfindtheconferenceroomforthe8a.m.meeting