How Can I Ruin Your Day?

Hi everyone, my name is Nicky Christmas, thank you for spending time with me today. I am the founder of Practically Perfect PA a blog for PAs, EAs, Office Managers and Administrators. Can I just get a show of hands how many of you have heard of Practically Perfect PA? Thanks

So I was recently asked what I thought was the most important aspect of being an executive assistant, having searched my brain for a smart answer I simply said maintaining a good relationship with your manager.

It is vital for so many reasons but mostly I think keeping and maintaining a good relationship with your manager makes the life of an Assistant a lot easier.

Lets face it we spend a vast amount of time with our managers. We need to have a good solid working relationship with them and we absolutely need to know their preferences and understand their management style. Basically, we need to know why they do things the way they do.

So how do we do find this information out? Well, we have to ask them! We have to ask questions.

You probably have a list of questions youd love to ask your manager given the chance BUT if you want to keep your job, you would obviously keep more personal questions to yourself. That is not what I am talking about here.

The problem is that we tend to keep all of our questions to ourselves, we like to think of ourselves as mind readers. We dont ask nearly enough questions even if those questions will enhance our relationship with the boss.

And I think there is a really obvious reason why assistants dont do this. It is because we know how many questions our managers are asked in one day, we see first hand how many decisions they have to make and how much they have to deal with.

Instead, we would rather not bother them and try to work out what they need on our own.

There is another issue at play here if we ask our managers what their real work preferences are are they going to be honest or will they give us answers that they think are appropriate? The problem is that assistants need our managers to be honest because our job is to help them be more productive. So how do we get them to answers our questions honesty?

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The other day I was asked what features I like in my new apartment. It is terrible but I could instantly list a few things I didnt like before I answered positively.

I think it is human nature to think about your dislikes rather than all the things you adore, it just seems easier especially when it comes to work!

Research shows that negative emotions involve much more brain power, and the information is processed more thoroughly than positive emotions. Therefore we tend to talk more about unpleasant events and use stronger words to describe them.

Some people do have a more positive outlook, but almost everyone remembers negative things more strongly and in more detail.

So what if we could use our managers natural negativity to gain an honest insight into their personality, preferences and work style? In this instance, asking your manager what they dislike could be more helpful than asking them what they do like.

Instead of asking our managers what can I do for you today? ask them what will absolutely ruin your day? the answers could be quite surprising!

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So how do we set up an environment where we can ask our manager a few more honest questions It will be slightly easier if you are new to the role but I think it is important to constantly assess your relationship with your manager because any relationship can be improved, it doesnt matter how long youve been in it!

So the first step is to arrange a meeting with you manager, at a point during the day when you know they will be receptive to a slightly more creative catch up than they are used to with you.

Tell them you would like to discuss a new idea of working together. Im sure they will be intrigued and they will also be delighted that you are taking a proactive approach.

Now, Im going to talk through a number of questions you can ask your manager that will provoke good honest answers and will help you understand their needs and add value too. Remember these questions are slightly more negative than they might be use to!

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Is there anything you do not want me to go near or change in anyway?

I worked with one boss that had the most disgusting messy desk. It would drive me crazy working in those conditions. I constantly asked him if could sort out his filing, or at least dust his desk? The answers were always the same no, I have a system and I like working like this. As I said it drove me nuts but I came to realize that I was firstly wasting my time and secondly he really did have a system that he liked. He was very productive and unbelievably he never lost any papers!

Asking this question shouldnt stop you coming up with suggestions that you think will help keep your manager on schedule and focused.

But asking this question does mean that you can save yourself the time trying to fix things they dont need to be fixed and instead use that time in other areas that will aid their productivity.

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What is your biggest distraction?

This is a great question to ask your manager because you can then help remove that problem.

There are loads of common office distractions, such as:

EmailsUnexpected phone callsLast minute meetings or Colleagues wanting to have a chat

Distractions can be costly to an organization, especially if it takes the senior Executives some time to get back to the work they should be focusing on. But how do assistants stop these distractions from happening? here are a few tips:

Firstly, for emails: Ask your manager to turn off their email notifications, you will let them know if anything needs to be dealt with urgently.

For unexpected phone calls: Ask that all of your managers phone calls are put through to you in the first instance.

And lastly, put a note up on your managers door when you know they need to write that report or tackle something important so that colleagues dont walk into their office unexpectedly.

Distractions are bound to happen but if you know which distractions cause your manager the most problems you will be able to minimise the issues and keep your manager focused and on schedule.

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What do you dislike in your daily routine?

This is a great question because it will really give you an insight into the rhythm or your managers day.

Firstly you need to know at what point during the day do they get their best work done? Are they a genius in the morning but grind to a halt by the afternoon? Do they work best late at night when they are alone?

Most of us only have a few hours each day that we can honestly point to as being truly constructive hours. Those hours are what I call the productive zone and must be guarded by assistants!

But our managers will also have points in the day where it is really hard to get any decent work done, and assistants can also help there too

Lets have a look at a few scenarios:

If their answer to this question is say they get very stressed out doing the school run every morningWe can schedule 15 minutes for them at the beginning of the working day to grab a coffee, relax and just get settled into work!

If they say they struggle to get motivated after lunch

Dont schedule any important meetings until say 2.30pm, instead let them check emails or catch up on their reading.

Having a good understanding of our managers daily routine can really work in our favour too. For example:

If you know your manager always works late into the night. Schedule important emails to go them say around 10pm. I doubt they will be getting many other emails at that time of the night so it is more likely they will sign off anything you need for the following morning.

I worked for one guy that liked to check his emails as soon as he woke up at 5.30am which was certainly not the time I got up so I would pre-schedule any important emails that I needed him to action to land in his inbox at 5.25am and sure enough I had my reply by the time I got into the office that morning. None of my colleagues knew he got up that early so my emails were always answered.

There are many ways you can help them manage their daily routine so that the low points are slightly easier for them to deal with and the productive hours are used effectively. [NEXT SLIDE]

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Is there anyone that you dont want to talk to ever?

Have you ever seen your boss look at their phone, look up at you with dread in their eyes and a slow shaking of the head. Yes, I thought so! Ive even seen one manager run from his office to avoid taking a phone call.

Phone calls can take 100% of our attention so if there is anyone that your boss doesnt want to talk to it is very easy for a PA to take over this form of communication.

I do think it is a good idea to root your managers phone calls to your phone first. I know it may seem over kill but Executives receive so many sales calls that they simply shouldnt be bothered with.

In fact in some organizations Ive worked for I have asked for a separate voicemail that reception staff can send all suspected sales calls to and I checked that voicemail once or twice a day.

It is still worth asking the question, Is there anyone that you dont want to talk to ever?

The answer might be certain colleagues, companies and even clients!

Messages can be taken, you can deal with questions personally or you can tell your boss at a later time if they need to action a request. Either way, your gatekeeping skills can come in extra handy here!

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Are there any points in the day when I should just leave you alone?

I love this slide and this question, if asked with humor it will always provokes a good reaction from managers.

It reminds me that all managers are human beings too, honestly they are! They will have times of the day where they are tired, agitated and well just want to be left alone.

If they can give you an honest insight into these moods you can really understand when to best to schedule a catch up chat, when to avoid interrupting them and when to totally avoid them!

More importantly this question will give you an insight into scheduling their day, when to have big picture conversations, when to schedule creative meetings and when to schedule breaks in the day for them.

I once worked for a CEO that was a huge horse racing fan, he even owned a horse. The first time I covered for his EA I made the mistake of asking him a question during one of his horse races.He basically told me to get out of his office, which was really rude but I quickly learnt that I should leave him alone when he was watching a race on his TV.I told his EA the next day, she laughed and said that is the point in his day when you really should just leave him alone! She was clever, she knew how to ruin his day!

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What personality types do they dislike working with?

Asking this question will mean that you can save them time dealing with the people that really test their patience. As we know, managing a team can be exhausting and it is significantly harder when you are dealing with members of staff that you find difficult to work with.

So how do we save them time here?

Well if your boss doesnt like dealing with certain difficult members of staff, you can act as a go between. Discuss the reasons your manager has for disliking these types of people and what can be done to minimize the amount of time they spend together.

For example I worked with a COO for a few years that was a real people person, he operated an open door policy and was very approachable. It made it difficult to manage his time and stop certain staff distracting him. When I asked him this question he did mention one contractor who was very demanding and was difficult to get off the phone. We agreed the following:

I would answer any calls from this contractorI would ask that he email me the queryAnd then I would set up a meeting for only half an hour and the contractor would have to provide me with an agenda

Now, If I hadnt asked this question the COO would have continued to let that consultant disrupt his day and take up his time.

The answer to this question could be something really simple like for example perhaps the Executive is totally IT illiterate and does not want to get into a conversation with an IT technician brought in to look at their computer they just want it fix. Or perhaps they love IT and want to learn how to fix the laptop themselves next time. These are the kinds of insights you will get to this question.

There is another side to this.

If you act as a go between for your manager it will also enhance your people skills. If you ever manage staff this training will come in handy. You are increasing your skills while helping your manager avoid the types of personalities that drain their time.

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What do you least value in an assistant?

I love this question because I dont think many managers would expect us to ask it!

We do a lot for our managers, we really do. The list of tasks that we can perform are endless and quite often we do things for our managers because we think it is expected of us, or it is an established part of the role and we assume we are supposed to do it.

So, I think, it is well worth asking them what do you least value in my role and also is there anything that I do that you would prefer to do yourself.

Dont let them get away with taking any vital tasks away, it is important that they respect the really difficult and challenging tasks we take care of. If they say I can manage my own diary put a stop to that straight away. In this instance Im talking about small tasks that they might actually like to do.

For example, the COO I was talking about early loved to do his own filing he had different coloured files, he had a label machine and colour coded dividers. Now technically he shouldnt have been doing that but he really liked doing it and he didnt value my input.

Or alternatively they may not value such stringent gatekeeping and prefer an open door policy.

Again this question will raise issues that you might not discuss at your usual catch up meetings because you are both in a routine that is working well and you are doing all of the tasks that you think are expected of you.

The answers to this question will hopefully free up some of your time to spend on different tasks that you might find more rewarding.

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Are there any forms of communication you dislike?

In every webinar, blog post or training session I give I always always talk about communication between you and your manager. It is vital to be able to communicate regularly with your manager and it is even more important that you constantly assess how you communicate, what is working and what is not.

Do ask them if there are any forms of communication that they dislike. For example

During the course of the day, perhaps you send an email to them whenever anything crops up that you require an answer too. Some managers might be fine with this but others might prefer one round-up email each day with every question listed. Or perhaps even a voicemail message they could listen to first thing in the morning.

Some Executives might hate sending and receiving text messages but others might love it.

When you are reviewing your relationship with your boss always discuss how the communication between the two of you is working because you do both have to be on the same page for an effective relationship to flourish.

Another crucial point here is this. You have to use the communication methods they prefer. If youre an email person and they prefer talking in person, guess what? Their preferences win.

You wont get anywhere sending long emails to a boss who wants to hash things out face-to-face and similarly, if your boss favors email, youll annoy them if you keep showing up in their doorway to talk.

This question really is incredibly important and you have to know what they like and dislike when it comes to communication.

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What details bother you?

I once had a manager that absolutely hated bad grammar and spelling, which I must admit is not my forte.

When we first worked together I would send him rough drafts of documents and although I had said they were rough drafts to be tidied up later he would spend ages scribbling out errors and correcting the entire thing.

To be honest it used to really annoy me and I couldnt work out why he would bother doing this but once I asked him this question and as it turned out, a whole load of things bothered him. I realized he was totally detailed driven (he was an accountant after all) so I had to adapted the way I worked. Going forward I only sent him my very very final draft and he spent less time correcting the document. He still corrected the documents but he spent less time doing it!

Asking what details bother them and what they are more relaxed with is a really good way of working out how much time you should spend on various tasks.

I think this question also fleshes out what kind of person they are and how you can structure your work to fit their personality.

So take for example - creative types from my experience, they love brainstorming ideas and then getting their assistants just to go and make it happen. They love the bigger picture and are excited to see the final result. Those that are numbers focused and detail driven will be more interested in the process and will want to be kept in the loop with details, financials and how everything will fit together to create the final result.

If you know this about them you will be able to meet their expectations and deliver tasks in a manner which will keep them happy.

Im going to start to wrap up now now but I just want to make three crucial point here:

Firstly - Its important to understand your boss - not just initially when you first begin working with one another, but throughout your relationship. Its important to keep asking questions, keep communicating and keep adapting to their management style. And lastly, keep learning about their preferences for how they take in information, make decisions and structure their day.

These three points will serve as a foundation for understanding their work style.

But you have to remember that unless ask them you will never know for certain what their real preferences are!

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And this is my final point! It is so important that you ask your manager what their preferences are, what their management style is and how they like to work with you.

You are not a mind reader! Ill reiterate this point you are not a mind reader!!

The only way you are going to develop a strong working relationship with your manager is if you are able to ask your manager how they think the relationship is actually working!

Asking these negative questions rather than asking what success looks like is certainly refreshing and I think if you are honest and say you want to try a different approach they will go along with you and find it a fun way to develop how you both interact and work together.

As we all know it can be quite cathartic moaning about your least favorite parts of the day and I bet your manager gets very little chance to do that!

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Remember there are lots of wonderful resources for assistants on Practically Perfect PA so do make sure you check out the website. If you do have any questions or would like to comment on anything you heard today, it would be great to hear from you so do get in touch, my contact details can also be found on Practically Perfect PA.

Thanks for your time today and I hope you enjoy the rest of the conference.

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