Youth advisor series chaperoning

The Workshop Will Begin in a Moment

MidAmerica Youth Advisor SeriesApril 17, 2012

Chaperoning Youth

Nancy Combs-Morgan

MidAmerica Coordinator for Emerging Models in Youth and Young Adult Ministries,

ncombsmorgan@uua.org

Introductions

You’ve been asked to chaperone….

• Important question to consider: “Do you have clarity of the expectations for chaperoning youth from your congregation?

• As adults chaperoning youth we must be aware of and to practice appropriate boundaries

What are “appropriate boundaries?”

• Appropriate boundaries with youth involve:• Maintaining awareness• Having a clear sense of accountability (personal

and institutional)• Keeping a balance of responsibility and protection.

“Balancing Compassion and Protection,” Debra Haffner, http://www.uua.org/safe/handbook/reand/165937.shtml

The bigger picture…

• Chaperones are our first line in promoting and protecting the health, safety, and well-being of the youth.

• It is every chaperones duty to be a reliable, positive, role model whom youth can turn to…  

“Why is safety so important?”

• Youth in Unitarian Universalist congregations need a safe environment in which they can share themselves in a genuine way and develop as leaders.

• Rev. Sarah Gibb, “Creating Policies in Youth Groups”,http:www.uua.org/safe/handbook/reand/165938.shtml

As a Chaperone, “Practice the “Balance”

• Seek a balance of maintaining good boundaries and being youth empowering.

• Be explicit and transparent about your responsibilities around confidentiality.

• When you have a “red flag,” or a sense of uncertainity arises about a particular situation, use a team approach with other chaperones!

Practicing the Balance

• Share early and often with youth that you use a “team approach,” and that any information shared that the youth is at risk of being a danger to themselves or others will be shared.

• Keep conversation friendly, but not of a personal matter…

• “Balancing Acts,” http://www.uua.org/safe/children/index.shtml

Good Policies Serve the Health and Well-Being of our youth

Does your congregation have a written policy on chaperoning youth? If so, have you agreed to this policy?

What policies apply to transporting youth?

Chaperones should be in pairs, whether traveling, or at a fixed site.

Good Communication

Before the event or trip, chaperones should take part in an orientation session

At the session, review your congregation’s Code of Ethics for persons working with youth

Anticipate and discuss unexpected issues – youth departing without permission; illness or emergencies, and severe weather responses

Be mindful…

Strive to always work in pairs with another chaperone

Never publicly discipline a youth before speaking with them one on one

Even upon invitation, “step back” from direct physical activities with youth

Be Mindful, cont….

Keep copies of emergency medical forms with you at all times

Have emergency contact numbers, more than one, for each youth

Ask that youth also keep a copy of their emergency forms and contact information with them, just in case…

Good Boundaries and Safety Guidelines

When we set up clear limitations, expectations, responsibilities and accountability, then we…

model the expectation that adults working with youth will be, “faith-keepers, trust builders and care-givers.”*

*(“Upholding Trust in the Religious Education Community.”)

When there isn’t explicit clarity of next steps…

There will always be those situations where clear next steps are not evident.

Respond by first trusting your instincts. “If it feels uncomfortable, move towards gathering more information, not taking immediate action”. Marie Fortune, http://www.uua.org/safe/handbook/justice/165972.shtml

When next steps are clearly indicated….

Review with other chaperones the shared expectations of when next steps must be taken.

Action is required when issues of safety, abuse, drug or alcohol use are indicated.

Chaperones should act and report on issues that indicate that the youth is a danger to themselves or others .

Remember….

“Our responsibility to spiritually and emotionally nurture our children and youth is everpresent and siginificant…

We can significantly “reduce the risk” by creating and following preventative policies

For, when we create explicit guidelines for appropriate behavior we define the values that are important to us.”

http://www.uua.org/safe/handbook/reand/165827.shtml

Why and When Youth Test Limits…

Boredom�There are no limits or clear guidelinesActivities lack group participation�Lack of understanding from leader �Want a role in planning - empower�Fear of failure – discouragement*� *http://orange.ifas.ufl.edu/4h/pdffiles/Clubs/Orange%20County%20Chaperone%20Training.pdf

Keep in mind to:

Enjoy, accept, and encourage youth. Model the behavior you want youth to

emulate. Clarify expectations (strive for

consistency). Don’t expect youth to do everything the

way you would. Display tolerance and flexibility.

Keep in mind, cont…

Assist youth in making decisions Do not direct or manipulate, but be

available as a coach and mentor. Show by behavior that youth input is

valued. Give away ownership and power Communicate clearly and often.

Chaperoning Resources

Rev. Sarah Gibb, “Creating Policies in Youth Groups”,http:www.uua.org/safe/handbook/reand/165938.shtml

Safe Congregations Handbook: http://www.uua.org/safe/handbook/reand/165827.shtml

“Chaperoning” http://4h.missouri.edu/resources/materials/docs/chaperons.pdf

“Balancing Acts,” http://www.uua.org/safe/children/index.shtml

Church Mutual, Safety resources: http://www.churchmutual.com/index.php/choice/risk/page/intro/id/21

Q & A

Thank You