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It’s all about student learning.
GRADE 5Writing
1
Grade 5 | Writing
671587 Cluster - Learning by Reading; Learning by Inventing_eMPower Demo 671575 Shared Stimulus - Learning by Reading
Read the two passages. Then plan and develop an opinion piece related to the prompt.
Passage 1
Learning by Reading 1 The author Victor Hugo once wrote, “To learn to read is to light the fire; every syllable
spelled out is a spark.” We know that books teach us. Hugo also knew that for readers, a book can be a “spark” of inspiration.
2 We often grab a book to read a good story. However, books can also explain fascinating scientific ideas. In fact, reading can “light the fire” that one day leads a young person to invent something original and useful.
Words and Pictures 3 One way a book can spark an interest in
science and inventing is by having both words and pictures. David Macaulay is one author who uses words to explain the science behind everyday machines. But he doesn’t stop there. Through his detailed diagrams, he helps readers understand how objects like scissors and windshield wipers work. Not everyone can take a machine apart and put it back together again (imagine taking apart a windmill or wind turbine!). But great illustrated books can help future inventors understand the insides and outsides of many inventions.
Turbine blade
Generator(makes
electricity)Wind
Power cable
© Measured Progress
Tocustomers
Diagrams show how things work.This is a wind turbine, which uses
wind to make electricity.
Section 1 DirectionsToday you will take a test in writing. For this test, you will read two passages. You will then plan and write a response based on a writing prompt. It is important to do your best. If you are not sure exactly how to respond to the writing prompt, try to answer it the best you can.
2
Grade 5 | Writing
Today’s Inventors 4 Books can also teach and inspire young scientists by introducing them to today’s
inventors and their creations. Have you ever heard of a smart traffic light? Dr. Samah El-Tantawy certainly has . . . because she invented one! Her traffic light is called MARLIN. It uses cameras to collect information about passing traffic. Using this data, MARLIN changes its light patterns to keep traffic flowing smoothly. Most people will never meet Dr. El-Tantawy. However, by reading about inventors like her, young people can think about the steps inventors take to solve problems.
More Than Books 5 Of course, today, future inventors can read more than just books. They have access to
resources like articles and illustrated guides on the Internet. But no matter where they get information, inventors must read to learn about the world.
6 And by reading, perhaps they will catch just the right spark.
“Learning by Reading” © 2018 by Measured Progress.
3
Grade 5 | Writing671579 Shared Stimulus - Learning by Inventing
Passage 2
Learning by Inventing 1 Throughout history, inventions have helped people. From the wheel to the computer,
inventions have made people’s lives easier and safer. 2 Communities always need new inventions. Thankfully, there are young people all over the
world who want to be tomorrow’s great inventors. 3 It is a good idea for these students to read about inventing. Some young scientists,
though, are also learning by using their hands to make their own inventions! 4 Meet Wyatt, a twelve-year-old inventor from the United States. Wyatt uses a wheelchair,
but he plays ice hockey using a special sled. The sled has a blade on the bottom like an ice skate. Wyatt wanted a way for players with physical disabilities to practice hockey when they are not at the ice arena. So, he replaced the blade on a sled with wheels. Now, Wyatt has a sled that allows him to move on the ground the same way he would on ice.
5 Wyatt noticed a problem and found a solution. This is something real inventors do. They must also read to find information. Sources like books and magazines have facts about past inventions. However, students gain planning and problem-solving skills when they invent something themselves.
6 Oliver, who is from Australia, is another inventor gaining these skills. Oliver has also learned to use what he knows about machines to make something totally new. When he was a teenager, he won first prize at a world science fair. He made a robot that cleans the windows of tall buildings. Oliver saw that it is dangerous for people to stand on tall platforms. He wanted to make the job safer.
7 Like adults, students can observe the world around them and invent something to make it better. The famous educator Maria Montessori once said, “The senses, being explorers of the world, open the way to knowledge.” As inventors like Wyatt and Oliver keep exploring, what will they build next?
8 Better yet, what will you build?
“Learning by Inventing” © 2018 by Measured Progress.
4
Grade 5 | Writing
671584 Extended Text - Learning by Reading; Learning by Inventing
1. You have read two passages about two ways people can learn.
Imagine that you have a chance to learn more about inventing.
Based on the passages and your own experience, write an opinion piece that tells how you would rather learn about inventing:
• by reading books, magazines, and Internet articles OR
• by making something new.
Be sure to tell WHY you want to learn by reading or by making something. Use details from the passages and your experiences to support your opinion.
As you write, be sure to: • introduce the topic in a clear way, stating your opinion.
• provide reasons for your opinion.
• use linking words to connect your ideas.
• use details from the passages to support your ideas and explain your thinking.
• provide a conclusion that emphasizes your opinion.
Alignment STANDARD: W.05.01
KEY: N/A
5
Grade 5 | Writing
After you have written your first draft, use the checklist below to revise your writing.
WRITER’S CHECKLISTYou have written a first draft. Use the following checklist to make corrections to your writing.
r I introduced the topic.
r I stated my opinion.
r I included reasons to support my opinion.
r I used linking words to connect my opinion and reasons.
r I provided a conclusion.
r I used simple and compound sentences.
r I used correct grammar.
r I spelled words correctly.
r I used correct punctuation.
r I used quotation marks to show direct quotes from the passages.
6
Tw
o-D
omai
n W
riti
ng
Ru
bri
c
Mode
Opi
nion
A
rgum
ent
Info
rmat
iona
l N
arra
tive
Gra
des
4 &
5
Gra
des
6–8
Details
Esta
blish
men
t of
opin
ion
and
inclu
sion
of re
ason
s to
sup
port
the
poin
t of
vie
w; u
se o
f so
urce
s an
d/or
re
leva
nt fa
cts
to
add
to th
e op
inio
n
Esta
blish
men
t and
cla
rity
of
claim
(s) a
nd e
viden
ce;
ackn
owle
dgm
ent o
f co
unte
rcla
ims*
; ela
bora
tion
usin
g so
urce
s, fa
cts
and/
or
reas
onin
g to
ach
ieve
dep
th
and
rele
vanc
e
*gra
des
7 an
d 8
only
Expl
orat
ion
of a
topi
c;
conv
eyin
g in
form
atio
n us
ing
orig
inal
and
text
-ba
sed
fact
s, d
efin
itions
an
d/or
con
cept
s;
inco
rpor
atio
n of
idea
s to
ad
d de
pth
and
spec
ificity
Use
of n
arra
tive
tech
niqu
es (e
.g.,
cont
ext,
dial
ogue
, de
scrip
tion,
refle
ctio
n);
appl
icatio
n of
tech
niqu
es
to d
evel
op th
e st
ory
thro
ugh
char
acte
rs,
even
ts, a
nd/o
r ex
perie
nces
Organization
Link
ing
of o
pini
on
and
reas
ons;
in
clusio
n of
in
trodu
ctio
n an
d co
nclu
ding
st
atem
ent o
r se
ctio
n
Exec
utio
n an
d in
tegr
atio
n of
id
eas;
use
of t
rans
itions
, in
trodu
ctio
n, a
nd c
onclu
ding
se
ctio
n to
ach
ieve
cla
rity
and
cohe
sion;
inte
grat
ion
of
supp
ortin
g ev
iden
ce,
reas
onin
g, c
ount
ercla
im*
*gra
des
7 an
d 8
only
Use
of t
rans
itions
, in
trodu
ctio
n, a
nd
conc
ludi
ng s
ectio
n to
cr
eate
coh
esio
n
Sequ
encin
g of
eve
nts
with
a b
egin
ning
, mid
dle,
an
d en
d
Mec
han
ics
of W
riti
ng
Feat
ures
incl
ude
sent
ence
str
uctu
re, s
ente
nce
vari
ety,
con
vent
ions
(gra
mm
ar, u
sage
, spe
lling
, pu
nctu
atio
n)
Score 3
The
resp
onse
:
de
mon
stra
tes
gene
ral c
omm
and
rela
tive
to th
e le
ngth
and
com
plex
ity
of th
e w
ritin
g;
may
hav
e m
inor
, inf
requ
ent e
rrors
that
do
not i
nter
fere
with
mea
ning
or
com
preh
ensio
n.
Score 2
The
resp
onse
:
de
mon
stra
tes
parti
al c
omm
and
rela
tive
to th
e le
ngth
and
com
plex
ity
of th
e w
ritin
g;
may
hav
e er
rors
or p
atte
rns
of e
rrors
that
inte
rfere
som
ewha
t with
mea
ning
or
com
preh
ensio
n.
Score 1
The
resp
onse
:
de
mon
stra
tes
little
com
man
d re
lativ
e to
the
leng
th a
nd c
ompl
exity
of
the
writ
ing;
m
ay h
ave
erro
rs th
at in
terfe
re w
ith m
eani
ng o
r com
preh
ensio
n.
An
y ot
her s
tude
nt w
ritin
g, s
uch
as N
on-E
nglis
h or
Insu
fficie
nt, is
Non
-Sco
reab
le.
Dev
elop
men
t of W
riti
ng
Score 4
The
stu
dent
writ
ing
is fu
lly d
evel
oped
and
thor
ough
ly ad
dres
ses
the
task
/mod
e.
The
resp
onse
:
mai
ntai
ns s
trong
focu
s th
roug
hout
;
sk
illful
ly in
tegr
ates
rele
vant
and
spe
cific
deta
ils in
sup
port
of th
e m
ain
idea
;
m
aint
ains
effe
ctive
and
logi
cal o
rgan
izat
ion
and
prog
ress
ion
of id
eas;
in
clude
s ef
fect
ive la
ngua
ge th
at c
ontri
bute
s to
eng
agin
g to
ne o
r voi
ce
thr
ough
out;
uses
effe
ctive
voc
abul
ary
that
is m
eani
ngfu
l to
the
task
.
Score 3
The
stu
dent
writ
ing
is de
velo
ped
and
gene
rally
add
ress
es th
e ta
sk/m
ode.
T
he re
spon
se:
ge
nera
lly m
aint
ains
focu
s;
inte
grat
es re
leva
nt b
ut s
omet
imes
gen
eral
det
ails
in s
uppo
rt of
the
mai
n id
ea;
dem
onst
rate
s m
ostly
effe
ctive
org
aniza
tion
and
prog
ress
ion
of id
eas;
in
clude
s ap
prop
riate
lang
uage
that
con
tribu
tes
to to
ne o
r voi
ce;
use
s ad
equa
te v
ocab
ular
y su
itabl
e to
the
task
.
Score 2
The
stu
dent
writ
ing
is pa
rtial
ly de
velo
ped
and
atte
mpt
s to
add
ress
the
task
/mod
e.
The
resp
onse
:
dem
onst
rate
s an
inco
nsist
ent f
ocus
;
un
even
ly in
tegr
ates
idea
s an
d in
clude
s ba
sic d
etai
ls;
dem
onst
rate
s in
cons
isten
t org
aniza
tion
with
laps
es in
the
prog
ress
ion
of id
eas;
in
clude
s lim
ited
lang
uage
that
con
tribu
tes
to in
cons
isten
t ton
e or
voi
ce;
use
s ba
sic v
ocab
ular
y.
Score 1
The
stu
dent
writ
ing
is un
deve
lope
d or
min
imal
ly ad
dres
ses
the
task
/mod
e.
The
resp
onse
:
dem
onst
rate
s a
wea
k fo
cus;
ra
rely
inte
grat
es id
eas
and
inclu
des
few
or i
rrele
vant
det
ails;
de
mon
stra
tes
uncle
ar, r
ando
m, o
r disj
oint
ed o
rgan
izatio
n;
inclu
des
vagu
e an
d/or
repe
titiou
s la
ngua
ge; u
ses
impr
ecise
voc
abul
ary.
Score 0
The
resp
onse
is O
ff To
pic,
Off
Task
, or O
ff M
ode.
7
Grade 5 | WritingScore Point 5A 0, 1
My opiooun is that Wyatt created a cool sled so that he can practice hocky. I don’t think the traffic stuff is cool. I want a robot that will clean my room and stuff. New stuff can be pretty neat like my new drone that I can fly around the front yard. Someone invented that so that is pretty neat. That’s my opinion.
ANNOTATIONS Development of Writing 0The response is off-task. Rather than stating and supporting a position on “learning about inventing,” the student lists personal opinions about inventions described in the article.
Mechanics of Writing 1The response demonstrates little command of mechanics relative to the length and complexity of the writing. Awkward and simple sentences contain misspelled words and grammatical errors: “My opiooun is that Wyatt created a cool sled so that he can practice hocky.” Errors do not interfere with meaning, but this level of complexity does not allow demonstration of partial command of mechanics.
Score Point 5B 1, 1
I would like to learn about inventing by inventing something new. I’m just not sure how I would start. Making a new game for Xbox would be really great and I have lots of ideas but I don’t know how to do the inventing part. I can’t really think of something to make the world better.
ANNOTATIONS Development of Writing 1The response is undeveloped and only partly addresses the task. The student takes a position on learning about inventing but does not provide support for the choice beyond the vague sense that “Making a new game for Xbox would be really great.” Though based on the passages, the concluding sentence departs from the idea of a preferred way of learning. Overall, focus is weak and organization disjointed.
Mechanics of Writing 1The writing demonstrates little command of conventions relative to the length and complexity of text. There are relatively few errors beyond awkward word choice and a missing comma in the third sentence.
8
Grade 5 | WritingScore Point 5C 2, 2
I preferr to read about inventing because I like to read. One reason is why reading about inventing is better is because books have information about past inventors. Like in the passage it talks about Dr. Samah El- Tantawy. She invented a new traffic light called MARLIN that uses cameras to process data. The only way to learn about her and her invention is by reading. The second reason why reading is better is because you can’t learn by using just your hands. It takes a long time to take something apart and back together again. What if you can’t put it back together again? Then you have to buy a new one and start all over again. I know my parents would be really really mad if I took my xbox apart to see how it works. The third reason I think reading about inventing is better is because the author tells me that it is a good idea for students to read about inventing. That’s my opinon.
ANNOTATIONS Development of Writing 2The student’s opinion is stated in the opening sentence. Ideas are introduced randomly and without significant supporting details; for example: “The only way to learn about her and her invention is by reading” is not sufficiently expanded and explained. The statement “you can’t learn by using just your hands” is not precisely supported by the idea that disassembling something may cause problems. Finally, the idea of “reading about inventing” is stated as the author’s opinion, not a personal preference. Use of language is limited, as repeated sentence forms highlight a point-by-point presentation of ideas.
Mechanics of Writing 2The response demonstrates partial command of the mechanics of writing. Sentence forms lack variety–most are simple statements. The fragment “Like in the passage it talks about Dr. Samah El-Tantawy” stands out in text that is less than complex. One usage error (word omission) causes some interruption: “It takes a long time to take something apart and (put it) back together again.” Considering the relative simplicity of the writing, errors and instances of awkwardness are noticeable but do not interfere with meaning.
9
Grade 5 | WritingScore Point 5D 3, 2
Inventions have help make people’s lives easier throughout history. People always need new inventions and some young scientists are trying to be the futures great inventors. Some people think students learn about inventing by reading but others think learning by using your hands is the way to invent something new. My opion is both are important parts of inventing
Books can spark the interest of young inventors in many ways. One author David Macauly uses words and pictures to explain how everyday machines work. Great illustrated books help inventors undertand the insides and oustsides of inventions. Detailed diagrams show how things work like a windmill or wind turbine because some things can’t be taken apart easily
Inventing with your hands is also important because students learn valuable skills like planning and problem solving. The article talks about Wyatt a 12 yr old boy who uses a wheelchair and plays ice hockey He wanted to solve a problem for kids like him. He wanted to train at home so he invented a special sled with wheels that moved like he did on the ice. Wyatt had a problem and figured out how to fix it
Another inventor is Oliver, from Australia, he took what he knew about robots and solved a problem. He observed that it is dangerous for people to stand on tall platforms to clean the windows of a skyscrapper. So he wanted to make it safer and he made a robot that cleans the windows. A famous educator Maria Montessori said “The sense, being explorer of the world, open the way to knowledge.” Student inventors like Wyatt and Oliver should keep exploring.
ANNOTATIONS Development of Writing 3This student takes a different but equally valid approach to the task by developing the opinion that both reading and “using your hands” are “important parts of inventing.” A preference to learn about inventing by combining reading and “doing” is clear to the reader. Relevant details support both sides, though learning through inventing is emphasized. The writing maintains a general focus and the introduction serves to integrate ideas. Types of learning are described in separate paragraphs–an approach that limits fluency. Despite errors in mechanics, language supports a quality of tone that is appropriate to the task: “Some people think students learn about inventing by reading but others think learning by using your hands is the way to invent something new.”
Mechanics of Writing 2The response demonstrates partial command of mechanics. Despite some textual complexity, errors in sentence formation, grammar, and punctuation cause some interference. In the sentence “Detailed diagrams show how things work like a windmill or wind turbine because some things can’t be taken apart easily” incorrect syntax blurs meaning. A verb tense error in the opening sentence–“have help”–is particularly noticable. Missing commas cause some interference, as in the third paragraph: “The article talks about Wyatt a 12 yr old boy.”
10
Grade 5 | WritingScore Point 5E 3, 3
When people want to invent something new it is better to learn through experience. Whenever I try to do something I always learn better through practice. Reading something is not the same as doing something. If you want to invent something new there is nothing that you can read to tell you how to do it since your invention does not exist to read about.
In the first passage it references Dr El‐Tantawy who invented things. She did not read about Traffic lights. She saw a problem and they created something to fix it. It is far better to learn through experience and to apply what you know. Having knowledge from a book does not actually give you the skill to do something.
In passage 2 Wyatt saw a need based on his experience. He needed a way to practice hockey at home and he needed a wheelchair. He created something to solve his problem. He did not read how to solve his problem; he worked it out for himself and created a sled to practice with. He may have needed to read about how to build a metal frame, but he already knew what he wanted to do.
It is important to read so you can learn how to build something, but learning how to do something can only be done when you do it. This is by building something new is a better way to learn. You will always remember what you actually do but not when you read something.
In my opinion it is always better to learn by doing something new. You can learn through reading about something but it easier to learn by making something new.
ANNOTATIONS Development of Writing 3The response maintains focus on the idea stated in the opening sentence: “When people want to invent something new it is better to learn through experience.” General ideas support the main idea, e.g., “She saw a problem and they created something to fix it.” However, some points are not supported in the passages: in paragraph 2, “She did not read about Traffic lights” and in paragraph 3, “He did not read how to solve his problem” are conjecture. Nonetheless, the student selects and integrates relevant details from the passages. The–albeit secondary–importance of reading is conceded in paragraph 3: “He may have needed to read about how to build a metal frame.” An element of (perhaps) personal experience is seen in “You will always remember what you actually do but not when you read something.” Overall, organization is mostly effective as development builds toward a conclusion that restates the main idea.
Mechanics of Writing 3A general command of mechanics is demonstrated in text that is sufficiently complex. Errors are infrequent and do not interfere with meaning. The sentence “This is by building something new is a better way to learn” attempts to convey an idea that is clear throughout the piece.
11
Grade 5 | WritingScore Point 5F 4, 3
It’s easy to take for granted all the things that people have invented. You probably don’t even think about the fact that someone had to invent a water bottle or invent a piece of paper but they did. I think the reason why we don’t think about inventions is because we have never invented anything ourselves. My opinion is that people can learn more about inventing by inventing something new. I believe that you can learn more about inventing by inventing something new. First of all, since you probably aren’t thinking about inventing most days, building something can let you experience what it actually feels like. Reading in a book about what people did in the past doesn’t let you experience how good it feels to actually make something that no one else has before like Wyatt did. No one else had made a wheelchair sled that could be used to train at home. So he made a special sled all on his own. He and his friends must have been so excited about his invention. Probably more than me just reading about it. Inventing your own stuff is also a good way to make the world a better place. Like Maria Montessori said “The sense, being explorers of the world, open the way to knowledge.” This means that if you look around you and try to fix things by inventing new things, you learn a lot more than just reading about things.
Finally, I think it can be interesting to read about inventions too but the ones who built the invention couldn’t have. David Macaulay writes about inventions but he didn’t invent anything himself. The people who actually made the invention wouldn’t have been able to read his book first. They had to just make it. Even Dr. El Tantawy’s smart traffic light wasn’t the first traffic light. She probably had to read about the traffic light and smart things before putting them together. But the person who made the first traffic light had to start from scratch since no one could have written about it before. My opinion is that you can learn more about inventing by inventing something yourself. You can’t make something new if you only read about things people have done in the past. You have to look around you and make something that will make you life better. Just like Wyatt did.
ANNOTATIONS Development of Writing 4This response is fully developed and focused. The idea of learning through inventing is raised in an insightful introduction that states: “I think the reason why we don’t think about inventions is because we have never invented anything ourselves.” Using details from “Learning by Inventing,” the writer contrasts this idea with the personal rewards of inventing: Reading about something “doesn’t let you experience how good it feels to actually make something that no one else has before like Wyatt did.” The social value of learning through inventing is recognized: “. . . if you look around you and try to fix things by inventing new things, you learn a lot more than just reading about things.” Commentary on the “smart traffic light” in “Learning by Reading” supports the opinion further: “But the person who made the first traffic light had to start from scratch since no one could have written about it before.” Organization is logical and ideas build a convincing statement of the writer’s opinion. Language is used effectively, and a conversational tone is evident–especially in the introduction.
Mechanics of Writing 3Command of mechanics is demonstrated in complex text. Sentence forms are varied. Correctness of sentence forms, grammar, usage, and punctuation contributes to fluency and readability.
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