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GRADE 5Writing

1

Grade 5 | Writing

671587 Cluster - Learning by Reading; Learning by Inventing_eMPower Demo 671575 Shared Stimulus - Learning by Reading

Read the two passages. Then plan and develop an opinion piece related to the prompt.

Passage 1

Learning by Reading 1 The author Victor Hugo once wrote, “To learn to read is to light the fire; every syllable

spelled out is a spark.” We know that books teach us. Hugo also knew that for readers, a book can be a “spark” of inspiration.

2 We often grab a book to read a good story. However, books can also explain fascinating scientific ideas. In fact, reading can “light the fire” that one day leads a young person to invent something original and useful.

Words and Pictures 3 One way a book can spark an interest in

science and inventing is by having both words and pictures. David Macaulay is one author who uses words to explain the science behind everyday machines. But he doesn’t stop there. Through his detailed diagrams, he helps readers understand how objects like scissors and windshield wipers work. Not everyone can take a machine apart and put it back together again (imagine taking apart a windmill or wind turbine!). But great illustrated books can help future inventors understand the insides and outsides of many inventions.

Turbine blade

Generator(makes

electricity)Wind

Power cable

© Measured Progress

Tocustomers

Diagrams show how things work.This is a wind turbine, which uses

wind to make electricity.

Section 1 DirectionsToday you will take a test in writing. For this test, you will read two passages. You will then plan and write a response based on a writing prompt. It is important to do your best. If you are not sure exactly how to respond to the writing prompt, try to answer it the best you can.

2

Grade 5 | Writing

Today’s Inventors 4 Books can also teach and inspire young scientists by introducing them to today’s

inventors and their creations. Have you ever heard of a smart traffic light? Dr. Samah El-Tantawy certainly has . . . because she invented one! Her traffic light is called MARLIN. It uses cameras to collect information about passing traffic. Using this data, MARLIN changes its light patterns to keep traffic flowing smoothly. Most people will never meet Dr. El-Tantawy. However, by reading about inventors like her, young people can think about the steps inventors take to solve problems.

More Than Books 5 Of course, today, future inventors can read more than just books. They have access to

resources like articles and illustrated guides on the Internet. But no matter where they get information, inventors must read to learn about the world.

6 And by reading, perhaps they will catch just the right spark.

“Learning by Reading” © 2018 by Measured Progress.

3

Grade 5 | Writing671579 Shared Stimulus - Learning by Inventing

Passage 2

Learning by Inventing 1 Throughout history, inventions have helped people. From the wheel to the computer,

inventions have made people’s lives easier and safer. 2 Communities always need new inventions. Thankfully, there are young people all over the

world who want to be tomorrow’s great inventors. 3 It is a good idea for these students to read about inventing. Some young scientists,

though, are also learning by using their hands to make their own inventions! 4 Meet Wyatt, a twelve-year-old inventor from the United States. Wyatt uses a wheelchair,

but he plays ice hockey using a special sled. The sled has a blade on the bottom like an ice skate. Wyatt wanted a way for players with physical disabilities to practice hockey when they are not at the ice arena. So, he replaced the blade on a sled with wheels. Now, Wyatt has a sled that allows him to move on the ground the same way he would on ice.

5 Wyatt noticed a problem and found a solution. This is something real inventors do. They must also read to find information. Sources like books and magazines have facts about past inventions. However, students gain planning and problem-solving skills when they invent something themselves.

6 Oliver, who is from Australia, is another inventor gaining these skills. Oliver has also learned to use what he knows about machines to make something totally new. When he was a teenager, he won first prize at a world science fair. He made a robot that cleans the windows of tall buildings. Oliver saw that it is dangerous for people to stand on tall platforms. He wanted to make the job safer.

7 Like adults, students can observe the world around them and invent something to make it better. The famous educator Maria Montessori once said, “The senses, being explorers of the world, open the way to knowledge.” As inventors like Wyatt and Oliver keep exploring, what will they build next?

8 Better yet, what will you build?

“Learning by Inventing” © 2018 by Measured Progress.

4

Grade 5 | Writing

671584 Extended Text - Learning by Reading; Learning by Inventing

1. You have read two passages about two ways people can learn.

Imagine that you have a chance to learn more about inventing.

Based on the passages and your own experience, write an opinion piece that tells how you would rather learn about inventing:

• by reading books, magazines, and Internet articles OR

• by making something new.

Be sure to tell WHY you want to learn by reading or by making something. Use details from the passages and your experiences to support your opinion.

As you write, be sure to: • introduce the topic in a clear way, stating your opinion.

• provide reasons for your opinion.

• use linking words to connect your ideas.

• use details from the passages to support your ideas and explain your thinking.

• provide a conclusion that emphasizes your opinion.

Alignment STANDARD: W.05.01

KEY: N/A

5

Grade 5 | Writing

After you have written your first draft, use the checklist below to revise your writing.

WRITER’S CHECKLISTYou have written a first draft. Use the following checklist to make corrections to your writing.

r I introduced the topic.

r I stated my opinion.

r I included reasons to support my opinion.

r I used linking words to connect my opinion and reasons.

r I provided a conclusion.

r I used simple and compound sentences.

r I used correct grammar.

r I spelled words correctly.

r I used correct punctuation.

r I used quotation marks to show direct quotes from the passages.

6

Tw

o-D

omai

n W

riti

ng

Ru

bri

c

Mode

Opi

nion

A

rgum

ent

Info

rmat

iona

l N

arra

tive

Gra

des

4 &

5

Gra

des

6–8

Details

Esta

blish

men

t of

opin

ion

and

inclu

sion

of re

ason

s to

sup

port

the

poin

t of

vie

w; u

se o

f so

urce

s an

d/or

re

leva

nt fa

cts

to

add

to th

e op

inio

n

Esta

blish

men

t and

cla

rity

of

claim

(s) a

nd e

viden

ce;

ackn

owle

dgm

ent o

f co

unte

rcla

ims*

; ela

bora

tion

usin

g so

urce

s, fa

cts

and/

or

reas

onin

g to

ach

ieve

dep

th

and

rele

vanc

e

*gra

des

7 an

d 8

only

Expl

orat

ion

of a

topi

c;

conv

eyin

g in

form

atio

n us

ing

orig

inal

and

text

-ba

sed

fact

s, d

efin

itions

an

d/or

con

cept

s;

inco

rpor

atio

n of

idea

s to

ad

d de

pth

and

spec

ificity

Use

of n

arra

tive

tech

niqu

es (e

.g.,

cont

ext,

dial

ogue

, de

scrip

tion,

refle

ctio

n);

appl

icatio

n of

tech

niqu

es

to d

evel

op th

e st

ory

thro

ugh

char

acte

rs,

even

ts, a

nd/o

r ex

perie

nces

Organization

Link

ing

of o

pini

on

and

reas

ons;

in

clusio

n of

in

trodu

ctio

n an

d co

nclu

ding

st

atem

ent o

r se

ctio

n

Exec

utio

n an

d in

tegr

atio

n of

id

eas;

use

of t

rans

itions

, in

trodu

ctio

n, a

nd c

onclu

ding

se

ctio

n to

ach

ieve

cla

rity

and

cohe

sion;

inte

grat

ion

of

supp

ortin

g ev

iden

ce,

reas

onin

g, c

ount

ercla

im*

*gra

des

7 an

d 8

only

Use

of t

rans

itions

, in

trodu

ctio

n, a

nd

conc

ludi

ng s

ectio

n to

cr

eate

coh

esio

n

Sequ

encin

g of

eve

nts

with

a b

egin

ning

, mid

dle,

an

d en

d

Mec

han

ics

of W

riti

ng

Feat

ures

incl

ude

sent

ence

str

uctu

re, s

ente

nce

vari

ety,

con

vent

ions

(gra

mm

ar, u

sage

, spe

lling

, pu

nctu

atio

n)

Score 3

The

resp

onse

:

de

mon

stra

tes

gene

ral c

omm

and

rela

tive

to th

e le

ngth

and

com

plex

ity

of th

e w

ritin

g;

may

hav

e m

inor

, inf

requ

ent e

rrors

that

do

not i

nter

fere

with

mea

ning

or

com

preh

ensio

n.

Score 2

The

resp

onse

:

de

mon

stra

tes

parti

al c

omm

and

rela

tive

to th

e le

ngth

and

com

plex

ity

of th

e w

ritin

g;

may

hav

e er

rors

or p

atte

rns

of e

rrors

that

inte

rfere

som

ewha

t with

mea

ning

or

com

preh

ensio

n.

Score 1

The

resp

onse

:

de

mon

stra

tes

little

com

man

d re

lativ

e to

the

leng

th a

nd c

ompl

exity

of

the

writ

ing;

m

ay h

ave

erro

rs th

at in

terfe

re w

ith m

eani

ng o

r com

preh

ensio

n.

An

y ot

her s

tude

nt w

ritin

g, s

uch

as N

on-E

nglis

h or

Insu

fficie

nt, is

Non

-Sco

reab

le.

Dev

elop

men

t of W

riti

ng

Score 4

The

stu

dent

writ

ing

is fu

lly d

evel

oped

and

thor

ough

ly ad

dres

ses

the

task

/mod

e.

The

resp

onse

:

mai

ntai

ns s

trong

focu

s th

roug

hout

;

sk

illful

ly in

tegr

ates

rele

vant

and

spe

cific

deta

ils in

sup

port

of th

e m

ain

idea

;

m

aint

ains

effe

ctive

and

logi

cal o

rgan

izat

ion

and

prog

ress

ion

of id

eas;

in

clude

s ef

fect

ive la

ngua

ge th

at c

ontri

bute

s to

eng

agin

g to

ne o

r voi

ce

thr

ough

out;

uses

effe

ctive

voc

abul

ary

that

is m

eani

ngfu

l to

the

task

.

Score 3

The

stu

dent

writ

ing

is de

velo

ped

and

gene

rally

add

ress

es th

e ta

sk/m

ode.

T

he re

spon

se:

ge

nera

lly m

aint

ains

focu

s;

inte

grat

es re

leva

nt b

ut s

omet

imes

gen

eral

det

ails

in s

uppo

rt of

the

mai

n id

ea;

dem

onst

rate

s m

ostly

effe

ctive

org

aniza

tion

and

prog

ress

ion

of id

eas;

in

clude

s ap

prop

riate

lang

uage

that

con

tribu

tes

to to

ne o

r voi

ce;

use

s ad

equa

te v

ocab

ular

y su

itabl

e to

the

task

.

Score 2

The

stu

dent

writ

ing

is pa

rtial

ly de

velo

ped

and

atte

mpt

s to

add

ress

the

task

/mod

e.

The

resp

onse

:

dem

onst

rate

s an

inco

nsist

ent f

ocus

;

un

even

ly in

tegr

ates

idea

s an

d in

clude

s ba

sic d

etai

ls;

dem

onst

rate

s in

cons

isten

t org

aniza

tion

with

laps

es in

the

prog

ress

ion

of id

eas;

in

clude

s lim

ited

lang

uage

that

con

tribu

tes

to in

cons

isten

t ton

e or

voi

ce;

use

s ba

sic v

ocab

ular

y.

Score 1

The

stu

dent

writ

ing

is un

deve

lope

d or

min

imal

ly ad

dres

ses

the

task

/mod

e.

The

resp

onse

:

dem

onst

rate

s a

wea

k fo

cus;

ra

rely

inte

grat

es id

eas

and

inclu

des

few

or i

rrele

vant

det

ails;

de

mon

stra

tes

uncle

ar, r

ando

m, o

r disj

oint

ed o

rgan

izatio

n;

inclu

des

vagu

e an

d/or

repe

titiou

s la

ngua

ge; u

ses

impr

ecise

voc

abul

ary.

Score 0

The

resp

onse

is O

ff To

pic,

Off

Task

, or O

ff M

ode.

7

Grade 5 | WritingScore Point 5A 0, 1

My opiooun is that Wyatt created a cool sled so that he can practice hocky. I don’t think the traffic stuff is cool. I want a robot that will clean my room and stuff. New stuff can be pretty neat like my new drone that I can fly around the front yard. Someone invented that so that is pretty neat. That’s my opinion.

ANNOTATIONS Development of Writing 0The response is off-task. Rather than stating and supporting a position on “learning about inventing,” the student lists personal opinions about inventions described in the article.

Mechanics of Writing 1The response demonstrates little command of mechanics relative to the length and complexity of the writing. Awkward and simple sentences contain misspelled words and grammatical errors: “My opiooun is that Wyatt created a cool sled so that he can practice hocky.” Errors do not interfere with meaning, but this level of complexity does not allow demonstration of partial command of mechanics.

Score Point 5B 1, 1

I would like to learn about inventing by inventing something new. I’m just not sure how I would start. Making a new game for Xbox would be really great and I have lots of ideas but I don’t know how to do the inventing part. I can’t really think of something to make the world better.

ANNOTATIONS Development of Writing 1The response is undeveloped and only partly addresses the task. The student takes a position on learning about inventing but does not provide support for the choice beyond the vague sense that “Making a new game for Xbox would be really great.” Though based on the passages, the concluding sentence departs from the idea of a preferred way of learning. Overall, focus is weak and organization disjointed.

Mechanics of Writing 1The writing demonstrates little command of conventions relative to the length and complexity of text. There are relatively few errors beyond awkward word choice and a missing comma in the third sentence.

8

Grade 5 | WritingScore Point 5C 2, 2

I preferr to read about inventing because I like to read. One reason is why reading about inventing is better is because books have information about past inventors. Like in the passage it talks about Dr. Samah El- Tantawy. She invented a new traffic light called MARLIN that uses cameras to process data. The only way to learn about her and her invention is by reading. The second reason why reading is better is because you can’t learn by using just your hands. It takes a long time to take something apart and back together again. What if you can’t put it back together again? Then you have to buy a new one and start all over again. I know my parents would be really really mad if I took my xbox apart to see how it works. The third reason I think reading about inventing is better is because the author tells me that it is a good idea for students to read about inventing. That’s my opinon.

ANNOTATIONS Development of Writing 2The student’s opinion is stated in the opening sentence. Ideas are introduced randomly and without significant supporting details; for example: “The only way to learn about her and her invention is by reading” is not sufficiently expanded and explained. The statement “you can’t learn by using just your hands” is not precisely supported by the idea that disassembling something may cause problems. Finally, the idea of “reading about inventing” is stated as the author’s opinion, not a personal preference. Use of language is limited, as repeated sentence forms highlight a point-by-point presentation of ideas.

Mechanics of Writing 2The response demonstrates partial command of the mechanics of writing. Sentence forms lack variety–most are simple statements. The fragment “Like in the passage it talks about Dr. Samah El-Tantawy” stands out in text that is less than complex. One usage error (word omission) causes some interruption: “It takes a long time to take something apart and (put it) back together again.” Considering the relative simplicity of the writing, errors and instances of awkwardness are noticeable but do not interfere with meaning.

9

Grade 5 | WritingScore Point 5D 3, 2

Inventions have help make people’s lives easier throughout history. People always need new inventions and some young scientists are trying to be the futures great inventors. Some people think students learn about inventing by reading but others think learning by using your hands is the way to invent something new. My opion is both are important parts of inventing

Books can spark the interest of young inventors in many ways. One author David Macauly uses words and pictures to explain how everyday machines work. Great illustrated books help inventors undertand the insides and oustsides of inventions. Detailed diagrams show how things work like a windmill or wind turbine because some things can’t be taken apart easily

Inventing with your hands is also important because students learn valuable skills like planning and problem solving. The article talks about Wyatt a 12 yr old boy who uses a wheelchair and plays ice hockey He wanted to solve a problem for kids like him. He wanted to train at home so he invented a special sled with wheels that moved like he did on the ice. Wyatt had a problem and figured out how to fix it

Another inventor is Oliver, from Australia, he took what he knew about robots and solved a problem. He observed that it is dangerous for people to stand on tall platforms to clean the windows of a skyscrapper. So he wanted to make it safer and he made a robot that cleans the windows. A famous educator Maria Montessori said “The sense, being explorer of the world, open the way to knowledge.” Student inventors like Wyatt and Oliver should keep exploring.

ANNOTATIONS Development of Writing 3This student takes a different but equally valid approach to the task by developing the opinion that both reading and “using your hands” are “important parts of inventing.” A preference to learn about inventing by combining reading and “doing” is clear to the reader. Relevant details support both sides, though learning through inventing is emphasized. The writing maintains a general focus and the introduction serves to integrate ideas. Types of learning are described in separate paragraphs–an approach that limits fluency. Despite errors in mechanics, language supports a quality of tone that is appropriate to the task: “Some people think students learn about inventing by reading but others think learning by using your hands is the way to invent something new.”

Mechanics of Writing 2The response demonstrates partial command of mechanics. Despite some textual complexity, errors in sentence formation, grammar, and punctuation cause some interference. In the sentence “Detailed diagrams show how things work like a windmill or wind turbine because some things can’t be taken apart easily” incorrect syntax blurs meaning. A verb tense error in the opening sentence–“have help”–is particularly noticable. Missing commas cause some interference, as in the third paragraph: “The article talks about Wyatt a 12 yr old boy.”

10

Grade 5 | WritingScore Point 5E 3, 3

When people want to invent something new it is better to learn through experience. Whenever I try to do something I always learn better through practice. Reading something is not the same as doing something. If you want to invent something new there is nothing that you can read to tell you how to do it since your invention does not exist to read about.

In the first passage it references Dr El‐Tantawy who invented things. She did not read about Traffic lights. She saw a problem and they created something to fix it. It is far better to learn through experience and to apply what you know. Having knowledge from a book does not actually give you the skill to do something.

In passage 2 Wyatt saw a need based on his experience. He needed a way to practice hockey at home and he needed a wheelchair. He created something to solve his problem. He did not read how to solve his problem; he worked it out for himself and created a sled to practice with. He may have needed to read about how to build a metal frame, but he already knew what he wanted to do.

It is important to read so you can learn how to build something, but learning how to do something can only be done when you do it. This is by building something new is a better way to learn. You will always remember what you actually do but not when you read something.

In my opinion it is always better to learn by doing something new. You can learn through reading about something but it easier to learn by making something new.

ANNOTATIONS Development of Writing 3The response maintains focus on the idea stated in the opening sentence: “When people want to invent something new it is better to learn through experience.” General ideas support the main idea, e.g., “She saw a problem and they created something to fix it.” However, some points are not supported in the passages: in paragraph 2, “She did not read about Traffic lights” and in paragraph 3, “He did not read how to solve his problem” are conjecture. Nonetheless, the student selects and integrates relevant details from the passages. The–albeit secondary–importance of reading is conceded in paragraph 3: “He may have needed to read about how to build a metal frame.” An element of (perhaps) personal experience is seen in “You will always remember what you actually do but not when you read something.” Overall, organization is mostly effective as development builds toward a conclusion that restates the main idea.

Mechanics of Writing 3A general command of mechanics is demonstrated in text that is sufficiently complex. Errors are infrequent and do not interfere with meaning. The sentence “This is by building something new is a better way to learn” attempts to convey an idea that is clear throughout the piece.

11

Grade 5 | WritingScore Point 5F 4, 3

It’s easy to take for granted all the things that people have invented. You probably don’t even think about the fact that someone had to invent a water bottle or invent a piece of paper but they did. I think the reason why we don’t think about inventions is because we have never invented anything ourselves. My opinion is that people can learn more about inventing by inventing something new. I believe that you can learn more about inventing by inventing something new. First of all, since you probably aren’t thinking about inventing most days, building something can let you experience what it actually feels like. Reading in a book about what people did in the past doesn’t let you experience how good it feels to actually make something that no one else has before like Wyatt did. No one else had made a wheelchair sled that could be used to train at home. So he made a special sled all on his own. He and his friends must have been so excited about his invention. Probably more than me just reading about it. Inventing your own stuff is also a good way to make the world a better place. Like Maria Montessori said “The sense, being explorers of the world, open the way to knowledge.” This means that if you look around you and try to fix things by inventing new things, you learn a lot more than just reading about things.

Finally, I think it can be interesting to read about inventions too but the ones who built the invention couldn’t have. David Macaulay writes about inventions but he didn’t invent anything himself. The people who actually made the invention wouldn’t have been able to read his book first. They had to just make it. Even Dr. El Tantawy’s smart traffic light wasn’t the first traffic light. She probably had to read about the traffic light and smart things before putting them together. But the person who made the first traffic light had to start from scratch since no one could have written about it before. My opinion is that you can learn more about inventing by inventing something yourself. You can’t make something new if you only read about things people have done in the past. You have to look around you and make something that will make you life better. Just like Wyatt did.

ANNOTATIONS Development of Writing 4This response is fully developed and focused. The idea of learning through inventing is raised in an insightful introduction that states: “I think the reason why we don’t think about inventions is because we have never invented anything ourselves.” Using details from “Learning by Inventing,” the writer contrasts this idea with the personal rewards of inventing: Reading about something “doesn’t let you experience how good it feels to actually make something that no one else has before like Wyatt did.” The social value of learning through inventing is recognized: “. . . if you look around you and try to fix things by inventing new things, you learn a lot more than just reading about things.” Commentary on the “smart traffic light” in “Learning by Reading” supports the opinion further: “But the person who made the first traffic light had to start from scratch since no one could have written about it before.” Organization is logical and ideas build a convincing statement of the writer’s opinion. Language is used effectively, and a conversational tone is evident–especially in the introduction.

Mechanics of Writing 3Command of mechanics is demonstrated in complex text. Sentence forms are varied. Correctness of sentence forms, grammar, usage, and punctuation contributes to fluency and readability.

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