Don’t tell my husband! - CIPS Speaker Prese… · Women below 50th percentile •We are...

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Don’t tell my husband!

Winning, woman style.

Mary-Jane Hogg Feedstocks Director/Wife/Mum/Daughter/Sister… Dow Europe GmbH

The Big 5

The Big Five Personality Model

3

Low

Conscientiousness (time matters)

High

The Big Five Personality Model

4

Low

Conscientiousness (time matters)

High

Need for Stability

The Big Five Personality Model

5

Low

Conscientiousness (time matters)

High

Need for Stability

Openness to experience

The Big Five Personality Model

6

Low

Conscientiousness (time matters)

High

Need for Stability

Openness to experience

Ego – Introvert or Extrovert

The Big Five Personality Model

7

Low

Conscientiousness (time matters)

High

Agreeableness

Need for Stability

Openness to experience

Ego – Introvert vs Extrovert

Conclusion 1 To best influence your boss /husband/wife/sister/son etc

Figure out where they are on the above scales versus yourself and tailor your approach accordingly…

See appendix for online resources

‘Agreeableness’

Agreeableness is a personality trait manifesting itself in individual behavioral characteristics that are perceived as kind, sympathetic,

cooperative, warm and considerate.

Many of we women are ‘disagreeable’

Moving on…

Why?

Women below 50th percentile

• We are passionate – but

with emotion

• Evolution programmed our

brains to ‘stay safe’ • So we protect

• And we fight every battle

• We can be jealous • Maybe unconsciously

• And we can get labelled as

‘difficult’

Women above 50th percentile

• Likeable

• Calm

• Organized

• Reliable

• Have diplomacy skills • can say no elegantly

• Appear resilient

Conclusion 2 Work on being more ‘agreeable’ (‘less difficult’)

But in a corporate context, ‘Winning’ is, ultimately, about making more money…

How can you make more money?

According to McKinsey’s 2003 Transformational, Transactional and Laissez-faire leadership styles research

• Excellent organizations make more money

• Excellent organizations display best in class organizational performance

• Organizational performance is improved by balanced leadership attributes

• 9 leadership attributes • People development

• Expectations and rewards

• Role Model

• Inspiration

• Participative decision making

• Intellectual stimulation

• Efficient communication

• Individual decision making

• Control and corrective action

According to McKinsey’s 2003 Transformational, Transactional and Laissez-faire leadership styles research

• Excellent organizations make more money

• Excellent organizations display best in class organizational performance

• Organizational performance is improved by balanced leadership attributes

• 9 leadership attributes • People development

• Expectations and rewards

• Role Model

• Inspiration

• Participative decision making

• Intellectual stimulation

• Efficient communication

• Individual decision making

• Control and corrective action

How to reconcile >50% of your female staff apparently being ‘disagreeable’ with participative decision making?

Winning…

Boys

• Tend to play competitive

games

• It is OK in ‘boy’ society to be

labelled the winner

Girls

• Tend to play non competitive

games • In ‘girl’ society, most times, there is

no winner.

• Occasionally?

• It is OK to ‘win’ occasionally, as

long as you thank all your

friends who helped you to

achieve what you did. But…

• But it is not OK to win twice in a

row

• It is OK in ‘boy’ society to win a

second time…

• …and a third time…

• So ‘boys’ get really good at

winning on their own terms…

• So ‘girls’ get really good at making

sure everybody wins

Conclusion 3 Women are programmed to want everyone to win

And so they play the game differently…AND NOT THE SAME GAME AS THE MEN…

So…

• Conclusion 1:

Figure out where you and your counterpart sit on the

Big 5 scales, and tailor your message accordingly

• Conclusion 2:

Work on being more ‘agreeable’

• Conclusion 3:

Women are programmed to want everyone to

‘win’…the ‘game’ they are playing may not be the

game you are playing…

Thank You

My thanks to Professor Martha Maznevski of IMD for starting the thinking process on winning…

The Big 5 – online resources

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