101 Ways to Annoy Others in your newly found free time... Better Grades in Less Time 101 Ways to...

101 Ways to Annoy Others in your newly found free time. . .

Better Grades in Less Time

101 Ways to Annoy Your 101 Ways to Annoy Your Friends with Your Newly Friends with Your Newly

Found Free TimeFound Free Time

Sing the Batman Sing the Batman theme incessantly.theme incessantly.

In the memo field of In the memo field of all your checks, write all your checks, write

“for sensual “for sensual massage”massage”

Specify that your Specify that your drive-through order is drive-through order is

"to go.""to go."

Learn Morse code, and have Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of public consisting entirely of

"Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip...""Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."

Amuse yourself for endless hours Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your by hooking a camcorder to your

TV and then pointing it at the TV and then pointing it at the screen.screen.

Speak only in a "robot" Speak only in a "robot" voice.voice.

Push all the flat Lego Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.pieces together tightly.

Start each meal by conspicuously Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and licking all your food, and

announce that this is so no one announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."will "swipe your grub."

Stomp on little plastic Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.ketchup packets.

Sniffle incessantly.Sniffle incessantly.

Leave your turn signal on Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.for fifty miles.

Insist on keeping your car Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in windshield wipers running in

all weather conditions "to keep all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."them tuned up."

Reply to everything Reply to everything someone says with "that's someone says with "that's

what YOU think."what YOU think."

Claim that you must always Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."of your "astronaut training."

InterludeInterlude

Declare your apartment an Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace.""violating your airspace."

Forget the punchline to a long Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it joke, but assure the listener it

was a "real hoot."was a "real hoot."

Follow a few paces behind Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.they touch with a can of Lysol.

Practice making fax and Practice making fax and modem noises.modem noises.

Invent nonsense computer jargon Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if in conversations, and see if

people play along to avoid the people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.appearance of ignorance.

Finish all your sentences with Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the words "in accordance with

Signal that a conversation is Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over by clamping your hands

over your ears.over your ears.

Give a play-by-play account of Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.nasal Howard Cosell voice.

Holler random numbers Holler random numbers while someone is counting.while someone is counting.

Adjust the tint on your TV so Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, that all the people are green, and insist to others that you and insist to others that you

"like it that way.""like it that way."

Produce a rental video Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI consisting entirely of dire FBI

copyright warnings.copyright warnings.

Sew anti-theft detector Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's strips into people's

backpacks.backpacks.

Write the surprise ending to Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.a novel on its first page.

Honk and wave to Honk and wave to strangers.strangers.

Change channels five Change channels five minutes before the end of minutes before the end of

every show.every show.

Tape pieces of "Sweating to Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic the Oldies" over climactic

parts of rental movies.parts of rental movies.

Decline to be seated at a Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat restaurant, and simply eat

their complimentary mints by their complimentary mints by the cash register.the cash register.

Begin all your sentences Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"with "ooh la la!"

Buy a large quantity of orange Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute traffic cones and reroute

whole streets.whole streets.

Pay for your dinner with Pay for your dinner with pennies.pennies.

Repeat everything Repeat everything someone says, as a someone says, as a

question.question.

Write "X - BURIED Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.on all of someone's roadmaps.

Repeat the following conversation Repeat the following conversation a dozen times "Do you hear that?” a dozen times "Do you hear that?”

"What?" "Never mind, it's gone "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."now."

Light road flares on a Light road flares on a birthday cake.birthday cake.

Wander around a Wander around a restaurant, asking other restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.diners for their parsley.

Leave tips in Bolivian Leave tips in Bolivian currency.currency.

Demand that everyone Demand that everyone address you as address you as "Conquistador.""Conquistador."

At the laundromat, use one At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your dryer for each of your

socks.socks.

As much as possible, skip As much as possible, skip rather than walk.rather than walk.

Stand over someone's Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as shoulder, mumbling, as

they read.they read.

Pretend your computer's Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and mouse is a CB radio, and

talk to it.talk to it.

Routinely handcuff yourself to Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in that you don't want to fall off "in

case the big one comes."case the big one comes."

InterludeInterlude

Lie obviously about trivial Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of things such as the time of

day.day.

Change your name to "John Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the glory of being first in the

phone book.phone book.

Sit in your front yard pointing a Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to hair dryer at passing cars to

see if they slow down.see if they slow down.

Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed speed, and claim the faster speed

is necessary because of your is necessary because of your "superior mental processing.""superior mental processing."

Mow your lawn with Mow your lawn with scissors.scissors.

At a golf tournament, chant At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-"swing-batabatabata-

suhWING-batter!"suhWING-batter!"

Ask the waitress for an Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your extra seat for your "imaginary friend.""imaginary friend."

Go to a poetry recital and Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem ask why each poem

doesn't rhyme.doesn't rhyme.

Select the same song on Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.the jukebox fifty times.

Construct elaborate "crop Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.circles" in your front lawn.

Make appointments for the Make appointments for the 31st of September.31st of September.

101 Ways to Annoy Others in your newly found free time... Better Grades in Less Time 101 Ways to...

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