FriendshipHanging Out, Messing Around, and Geeking

Out: Kids Living and Learning with New Media

Lauren Batherson

“They go there to hang out.”

What is social media to teens? According to the text being involved on social networking sites is a critical part of being socially connected. Losing access to social media would be detrimental to their social world.

“Conversations and interactions that begin in person do not end when friends

are separated.”

“Online and offline are not separate worlds-they are simply different settings in which to gather with friends and peers. Conversations may begin in one environment, but they move seamlessly across media so long as the people remain the same. Social media mirror, magnify and extend everyday social worlds.”

“Social Media mirror and magnify teen friendship practices. Positive interactions are enhanced through social media while negative interactions are also intensified.”

Strengthen Connections

“Social media offer a platform for teens to take friendships to a new level.”

Social media makes it easier for friends to stay in touch and deepen their relationship.

As a teen I used Instant Messenger to talk with my friends after school, these are people I am still best friends with. I also currently use Facebook to stay in touch with a friend who has moved out of state. It is an easy way to see what they are doing and stay connected.

Meeting New People

“Social media theoretically allow teens to move beyond geographic restrictions and connect with new people.”

Social media allows people to make new friends that may share similar interests. The chapter gives examples of gamers and LGBT’s. They might not be able to make these friends in school as their interests are not supported, but they can make these connections through social media.

In Ann’s story on page 93, social media allowed her to meet her college roommate. They had shared interests and planned out their dorm room.

Hurt FeelingsSocial sites can create tension and make people feel excluded. Teens expressed their concerns that they might hurt someone's feelings by declining their friend request on Facebook. Or not putting them in your top eight on MySpace.

“Taking someone off your Top 8 is your new passive-aggressive power play when someone pisses you off.”

The question is…

Bob knows bestBob (from the text) on becoming Facebook friends:

“Sets up your relationship for the next time you meet the m to have them be a bigger part of your life…Suddenly they go from somebody you’ve met once to somebody you met once but also connected with in some weird Facebook way. And now that you’ve connected you have to acknowledge each other more in person sometimes.”

I have experienced this first hand. Someone with mutual friends may friend request me and like a bunch of my Facebook statuses. I then see them in person and they act like they do not know me. Or maybe they say hey and we’ve never met before. It can create different types of situations and interactions.

Unfriending people on these social sites is touchy subject.

If it’s someone you are close to, it is seen to be spiteful and intentionally designed to hurt the other person.

If it’s a complete stranger it is not so hurtful. Students interviewed cleaned up their Facebook friends and narrowed their lists down to people they only actually knew. Several times I’ve done the same.

Drama

“Teens use social media to develop and maintain friendships, but they also use them to seek attention and generate drama.”

Teens blame technology for making gossip easier.

“There is a greater potential for gossip to spread much farther and at a faster pace, making social media a catalyst in teen drama.”

Teens can also gain access to the content even if they were not present for the situation, it is very easy to “stalk” peers. At my age there is little drama on social networking sites, but I have younger cousins who complain to me about such issues. People can be ruthless on these sites and will blatantly bash others for the public to see.

Social Media allows friends and peers to stay connected with each other constantly. Teens value this as it helps them build, maintain and develop friendships. It can make them feel accepted amongst certain groups. It is an outlet to express yourself and meet people with similar interests. I discussed some of the negatives but with technologies rapid growth, belonging to at least one (usually more) of these social sites seems necessary.