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VERBAL ABUSE AND THE NARCISSIST Communication Tactics Designed to Make You Crazy!!! Compiled by Jeni Mawter www.jenimawter.com

Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

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People with Narcissistic Personality Disorders have an inflated sense of their own importance, a strong sense of entitlement, a deep need for admiration, yet a lack of empathy for others. They use verbal abuse for power and control. Verbal Abuse is often dismissed as insignificant when compared to physical abuse. BUT, the long-term effect of verbal abuse is that you can lose your sense of 'self'. You no longer know who you are. It feels like you've lost your soul.

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Page 1: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

VERBAL ABUSE

AND

THE NARCISSIST

Communication Tactics

Designed to Make You Crazy!!!

Compiled by Jeni Mawter

www.jenimawter.com

Page 2: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

The Extreme Narcissist

People with Narcissistic Personality

Disorders have an inflated sense of

their own importance, a strong

sense of entitlement, a deep need

for admiration, yet a lack of

empathy for others.

They use verbal abuse for

power and control.

Page 3: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

What is Verbal Abuse?

Verbal abuse occurs

when someone uses

language, either spoken

or written, to cause

harm to an individual.

Page 4: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

http://littlekidsgrow.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/WORDS-Hurt-rant.jpg

Page 5: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Verbal Abuse Definition by Dr Marie Hartwell-Walker

Verbal abuse takes many forms: from

loud rants to quiet comments; from

obvious put-downs to not-so-obvious

remarks that undermine the partner.

What all the methods have in common

is the need to control, to be superior, to

avoid taking personal responsibility,

and to mask or deny failures.http://psychcentral.com/lib/signs-you-are-verbally-abused-part-i/00015267

Page 6: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Verbal Abuse has long-term effects

http://cdnpix.com/show/imgs/800df83a9b3f266a56f85bf88dc8f6cb.jpg

Page 7: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

http://images.slideplayer.us/2/693763/slides/slide_20.jpg

Page 8: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Verbal Abusers Target their Victimhttp://www.hoagames.com/thumbs/creative-kill-chamber-

2.jpg

http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/pointing-300x294.jpg

Page 9: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

“How do I

verbally abuse

you?”

Let me count the ways …

Page 10: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Shut Down

http://drjeffreyrubin.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/blog2realpicture-e1331230255475.jpg?w=339&h=246&h=246

Page 11: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Talk down or Patronize

http://lowres.jantoo.com/relationships-marriage-wife-care-therapy-therapists-wives-12230861_low.jpg

Page 12: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Put Downs

http://api.ning.com/files/YWMj-J29SNznbB5rtJnRX*ShzIBZtfPnTVABKQymDLsSErP85*x4bX0Ll6suMQeH-

t3PDpZtfsmYdAqUQPXTKytu24nbN7Xw/download1.jpg

Page 13: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Wear down by going on and on …

http://operationmeditation.com/discover/

wp-content/uploads/2012/11/626-300x336.jpg

Page 14: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Pretend not to hear

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/d09nf3LPM6U/hqdefault.jpg

Page 15: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Pretend to Not Understand

http://followpics.me/truthfully-im-not-listening-just-uh-huh-ing-and-uh-huh-ing-until-u-get-the-point-that-im-not-listening-

and-you-are-completely-and-totally-wasting-my-time-i-got-shit-to-do-today/

Page 16: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Name-

Calling

http://temp_thoughts_resize.s3.amazonaws.

com/f1/3fb781abbf23f13b31bc7d0cd7ddc6/

The-words-that-hurt.jpg

Page 17: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Labels

• Neurotic

• Hysterical

• Highly strung

• Dysfunctional

• Hypersensitive

• Hypochondriac

• Crazy

• Psycho

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XhFt88KDkMo/US1zlh1TPCI/AAAAAAAABSU/F_sE8v-

1N9k/s1600/ocd4.jpg

Page 18: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Keep changing the topic

http://images6.fanpop.com/image/answers/3282000/3282273_1372370934686.89res_483_300.jpg

Page 19: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Gaslighting

http://media-cache-

ec0.pinimg.com/originals/db/a3/e7/dba3e7b4b2d9c5df940ce35f72

a8412e.jpg

Page 20: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter
Page 21: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Projection

http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/originals/af/68/37/af68379dac15367810059a3da5880c7f.jpg

Page 22: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Accusing

http://harvestofpearls.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/pointing-fingers-copy.jpg

Page 23: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Constant Blaming

http://perseka.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/Blame-copyright-Perseka-2010.jpg

Page 24: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Blocking

http://i.myniceprofile.com/680/68038.gif

Page 25: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Not Paying Attention

http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/236x/9b/2d/97/9b2d97330f822279b20ad0cf320cbac7.jpg

Page 26: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Irrational Thinking

http://www.lolriot.com/32-signs-which-makes-no-sense/32-signs-which-makes-no-sense-011/

Page 27: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Constant Criticizing

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Page 28: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Exaggerating

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/77/Everyone-

else.jpg

Page 29: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Twisting what I say …

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-iZFv4rMmtsE/TVVRhu0A1pI/AAAAAAAAAqQ/SeM-8Z4Q8FM/s1600/Illogical%2BTshirt.jpg

Page 30: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Unjust Criticism

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Page 31: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Abuse

Disguised

as a Joke

http://www.dailybleh.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/joking.jpg

Page 32: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Denial

http://www.quickmeme.com/img/5c/5c29fe97571fb65de96d61b6f5c7df162476f4f1ee5b2c8b43e08268238d61f8.jpg

Page 33: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Silent Treatment

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Page 34: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Non-existence

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-

83b2iXY8Bb8/VFF88YBZ8YI/AAAAAAAANn0/2c39tc7PVoE/s1600/10%2BHours%2Bof%2BWalking%2Bin%2BNYC%2Bas%2Ba%2BWoman

%2BCat%2BCalls%2BThreat%2BAssessment%2BPersonal%2BSafety%2B54%2BRob%2BBliss%2BShoshana%2BRoberts%2BNonverbal%2

BCommunication%2BExpert%2BBody%2BLanguage%2BExpert%2BSpeaker%2BKeynote%2BConsultant%2BLas%2BVegas%2BLos%2BAng

eles%2BOrlando%2BNYC.png

Page 35: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Disinterest

http://www.fugly.com/media/IMAGES/Random/cat-boring-face.jpg

Page 36: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

The ‘non’ answer

‘Who?’

‘I’m talking to you.

‘Hi, how are you?’

‘You.’

‘What are you doing?’

http://www.twitsnaps.com/share/photo/56555_GroupIcon.jpg

Page 37: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Unavailability

http://yourdailycap.ca/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/NOT_NOW_BECOMES_NEVER_620.jpg

Page 38: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Excuses

http://images-cdn.9gag.com/photo/16656_700b.jpg

Page 39: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Slander

https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-oi6GAdcgpPM/VGjG8C2hQiI/AAAAAAAARf8/n1rHZXkIBxc/w550-

h503/narcissistic%2Bmothers%2Bsmear%2Bcampaign%2Bgossip%2Bslander%2Blies%2Bvideo%2Bby%2Bgail%2Bm

eyers.jpg

Page 40: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Pathological Lying

http://wellingtonretreat.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/iStock_000018263526XSmall-300x199.jpg

Page 41: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Lies of Omission

http://img.sparknotes.com/content/sparklife/sparktalk/auntielieofomission_Large.jpg

Page 42: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Withhold – expressions of …

• Love

• Admiration

• Gratitude

• Forgiveness

• Empathy

• Endearment

• Respect

• Validationhttp://dianekress.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/withhold-

information.jpg?w=640

Page 43: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Angry Outbursts / Rage

http://th04.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2011/126/e/3/

e3564981bfc3352d1dc928fdc3e07b27-d3fr192.jpg

Page 44: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Provocation

https://i.imgflip.com/857lq.jpg

Page 45: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Continual humiliation,

criticism and negative

comments eventually play

with your head.

Page 46: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

Long-term Verbal Abuse can

break people emotionally and

mentally, make them unsure of

themselves, unable to recognize

their true value and unable to

trust anyone or anything.

Page 47: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

You feel like

you’re going

crazy!!!

http://s3.amazonaws.com/rapgenius/1372832146_straight_jacket.jpg

Page 48: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

You lose your sense of ‘Self’

Sticks and stones can

break my bones and

verbal abuse can

steal my soul

Page 49: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

http://www.paulmcmillan.com/Resources/216_Empty_Chair_2wn.jpg

Page 50: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

About Jeni MawterJeni Mawter is an

Australian writer who first

encountered Narcissistic

Personality Disorder

whilst researching for her

young adult multi-text

novel, Kiss Kill.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PIAD

CNYKiss+Kill www.jenimawter.com

Page 51: Verbal Abuse and the Narcissist: Communication Tactics Designed to Make you Crazy! Compiled by Jeni Mawter

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• http://www.slideshare.net/jenimawter/narcissistic-victim-syndrome-a-powerpoint-by-jeni-mawter

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