Dealing With Our Broken Lives

Part 1: The Consequences of Sin and Our Distorted Self Image

Man Before Fall

  Man – the apex of creation (Gen. 1:31)

  Created in the image of God (Gen. 1:26-27)

  Given the authority to reign (Gen. 1:28)

  Be provided and cared for by God

(Gen. 1:29, Gen 2:16-17)

  To have meaningful relationships -  With God (Gen. 2:15) -  With each other (Gen. 2:18; 21-25)

Gen 3:8 Separation from God – spiritual problem

Gen 3:7-10 Separation from oneself – through guilt, shame, fear, etc. The root of our psychological or emotional brokenness

Gen 3:12-16 Separation from each other: socio-political problems – political, ethnic, cultural, gender, etc

Gen. 3:17-19 Separation from nature/environment – diseases, environmental, pollution; e.g. diseases.

Sin and Its Consequences

Sin and Its Consequences

  As a results of the Fall, all of us are insecure people – to different extents, and in different areas of our lives

  Results in broken relationships with -  God

-  Our own selves

-  Others

-  The world

Emotional Wounds   God wants us whole

  The basis: the love of the Father – Romans 5:5; 8:15ff

  What causes emotional wounds?   Growing years: e.g. conditional love, lack of warm and

affection in the family

  Later stage of life – BGR, friendships, marriage breakdowns, divorce, bereavement

  Results of emotional wounds   Lack of proper self-worth

  Marital problems, sexual problems; dysfunctional behavior – bad temper, perfectionisms, etc

Self Image

  How we see ourselves influence every part of our lives

  Our self-image has a definite structure, composed of conclusions we have reached about ourselves

-  Examples, parents labeling their child “stupid”

-  Housewife facing pressure from husband

Is the concept of having a healthy self-image biblical?

Self Image

  For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee. (Pro 23:7 KJV)

  How we see ourselves influence every part of our lives and our actions.

Self Image   The example of Joshua Num 13:33

  The spies’ view of themselves affected their perspective on the whole situation

  Joshua and Caleb saw themselves in the light of the presence of God, confident they could claim the land

  They were not haughty, or overly self-confident; neither were they filled with fear, holding a low opinion of themselves

  Rather, they were God-confident.

“Many people confuse the distinction between pride, humility and good self-esteem. The problem is not that self-esteem contradicts the scriptures but rather the words “pride” and “humility” are not correctly understood in the total light of the scripture. Pride in the biblical sense involves a non-honest estimates of oneself.

Real humility is simply an absence of concentration of oneself. It means that while I like and accept myself, I don't need to prove my worth excessively either to myself or to others.”

- Elizabeth Skoglund

Pride, Humility and Self Esteem

Self Image vs Pride Healthy Self Image Pride

Having a conviction that you have fundamental value because you are created in His image

Self centered focus rooted in the pursuing of pleasures you can find in yourself for what you believe you are or in what you have

Give glory and thanks to God (Psalms 139:14)

Seeking praise from men for themselves for what God has done in their lives. A result of exaltation of self while fail to recognize who made them

Another Form of Pride   Remaining in state of a low self image can actually

be a form of pride rather than humility

  Wants people to feel sorry for them, attention seeking

  Another form of “look at me”; self-absorption, self-obsession, selfishness

  Some people just refuse to get out of the rut of poor self image because that is where they can get the attention

The “Cannot-lah” Syndrome If God says can, who am I to say “cannot”?

(Phil 4:13)

A healthy self-image is seeing yourself as God sees you – no more, no

less

Many of our weaknesses and limitations can be channel of God’s glory to be displayed

The Need For A Healthy Self-Image

  A healthy sense of self-worth is fundamental in drawing us closer to God

  Elevates our concept of the God who gives us our self-worth

  Elevates our concept of the worth of others, whom we are to consider more highly than ourselves

  Without a healthy self-image, we become preoccupied with self, concentrating on our own needs, and constantly seeking the approval of others

Once we see ourselves as God sees us, and realize who we are – uniquely created in His image, and we’re loved,

forgiven, accepted – we are set free from self-preoccupation to being concerned for others. Servanthood

seems to have its root in a healthy self-image.

If you free threatened by others, you will usually try to overcome that by either making others look bad, or

struggling to make yourself looks good.

How We Decided Our Self Image?   From early childhood, we

assimilate information from others regarding ourselves in three important areas of life:

  How do I look? (Appearance)

  How am I doing? (Performance)

  How important am I? (Significance)

How Do I Look?   We formulate a mental picture of ourselves based

on the praise or ridicule of other people

  For example: a young girl who has been told repeatedly of her shape

  What we see in the mirror is interpreted largely by others’ opinions about us that we hear and remember

  The need for a “perfect” outward appearance extends beyond our physical appearance – it includes our material possessions – car, house, latest gadgets, etc

How Am I Doing?   How am I doing (in comparison with others)?

  A performance-work-oriented society

  Formulate a mental picture of ourselves based on our successes or failures in the eyes of parents and others. Some are longing to hear approval from parents.

  Work addiction – seeking to build our self-image based on performance. We feel good about ourselves when we have accomplished many things, when we are dog-tired from long hours of work.

How Important am I?   Formulated a mental picture of ourselves based on

the feelings of acceptance we received from our parents.

  A child has no other mirror besides the feedback from the parents to reflect what kind of person he/she is and whether he/she is worth loving

  One of the ways we worked out how important we are to our parents is by the amount of time they spent with us

As adults, we continue to evaluate our self-worth based on how others perceive us.

The mental picture based on our past memories and experiences continue to be imprinted into our

subconscious mind , and we go through life still believing we are the same person we thought we were.

Maslow's Hierarchy of

needs