Training, Coaching and Mentoring

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Training, Coaching and Mentoring

Its impact to Personal and Professional life

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Dr. Eric Berne

"A game is an ongoing series of complementary ulterior transactions progressing to a well-defined, predictable outcome. Descriptively, it is a recurring set of transactions... with a concealed motivation... or gimmick.“

- From the book – Games People Play

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Agenda

• Definitions• Mentoring VS Coaching• Ego States• Parent State• Adult State• Child State• Summary• How to use this?• References – Reading List

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Definitions

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• Transaction: an agreement, communication, or movement carried out between separate entities or objects, often involving the exchange of items of value, such as information, goods, services, and money.

• Training: Activity leading to a skilled behavior• Mentoring: refers to a personal developmental

relationship in which a more experienced or more knowledgeable person helps a less experienced or less knowledgeable person.

• Coaching: method of directing, instructing and training a person or group of people, with the aim to achieve some goal or develop specific skills.


Mentoring VS Coaching

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Mentor Coach

Focus Individual Performance

Role Facilitator with no agenda Specific agenda

Relationship Self selecting Comes with the job

Source of influence Perceived value Position

Personal returns Affirmation/learning Teamwork/performance

Arena Life Task related


Transactional Analysis

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A model that explains:• People think like they do• People act like they do• People interact/communicate with others

2 Basic Principles:• The Contractual Method• Open Communication

Philosophy/Assumptions:• People are OK; thus each person has validity, importance, equality of respect• Everyone (with only few exceptions, such as the severely brain-damaged) has the capacity to think• People decide their story and destiny, and these decisions can be changed

Our Brain:• Determines how we think and act• Acts like a tape recorder while recording:

• Events• Associated Feelings

• Has 3 distinct Ego Types:• Parent• Adult• Child


Ego States - 1

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Ego State - 2

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• Thoughts, Feelings attitudes, behavioral patterns based on messages or lessons learned from parents and other 'parental' or authoritarian sources

• Shoulds and should nots; oughts and out nots; always and never

• Prejudicial views (not based on logic or facts) on things such as:– Religion, Dress, sales people, traditions, work, products,

money, raising children, companies– Nurturing views (sympathetic, caring views)– Critical views (fault finding, judgemental, condescending

views)

Parent Ego State

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Adult Ego State

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• Thoughts, feelings, attitudes, behavioral patterns based on objective analysis of information (data, facts)

• Make decisions based on logic, computations, probabilities, etc. (not emotion)


Child Ego State

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• Thoughts, feelings, attitudes, behavioral patterns based on child-like emotions, impulses, feelings we have experienced

• Child-like examples:

– Impulsive, happy, curious, self-centerd, pleasure seeking, eager to please, angry, rebellious, fearful, happy


Ego Portraits

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• People have favorite, preferred ego state, depicted by larger circle in a diagram

P

A

C

Parent

P

A

C

Adult

P

A

C

Child


Human Interaction Analysis

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• A transaction = any interaction or communication between two people

• People send and receive messages out of and into their different ego states

• How people say something (what others hear?) just as important as what is said

• Types of communication, interactions:– Complementary– Crossed– Ulterior


Complementary

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• Person A: What time you got?

• Person B: I have got 10:00

A

C

P

Person A

A

C

P

Person B

A

C

P

Person A

A

C

P

Person B

• Person A: You are late again

• Person B: I am sorry. It wont happen again


Crossed

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A

C

P

Person A

A

C

P

Person B

• Person A: What time you got?

• Person B: There is a clock on the wall, why don’t you figure it out yourself?

• Person A: You are late again!

• Person B: Yeah, I know, I had a flat tire.

A

C

P

Person A

A

C

P

Person B


Ulterior

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A

C

P

Person A

A

C

P

Person B

Interactions, responses, actions which are different from those explicitly stated

• Person A: You are late again! (I was missing you so much)

• Person B: I had meetings – cant you see how tired I am? (I am sorry, but I understand that you miss me)

A

C

P

Person A

A

C

P

Person B

• Person A: How about coming to my room and listening to some music? (Actually, I want to have fun – don’t you too?)


I am OK

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Summary

• Every person has all the three ego state

• Depending on the situation/transaction, one ego state dominates over the other ego state

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How to use this?

• Typically –

– Training = Child Ego State

– Coaching = Adult Ego State

– Mentoring = Parent Ego State

• Understand the process of TA to do a better training, coaching and mentoring

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Agreement

Alignment is the process of synthesizing varied opinions and viewpoints on a subject.

A flock of geese does both -- can a modern organization work in the same way without stifling creativity?

Getting alignment on "why we're doing this is not about getting everyone to see "the right answer" so much as incorporating everyone's viewpoint into a "shared vision" of what that means.

Cultural alignment can mean "same thing" as in, "we are all driving toward the same goals" (true north) or it can mean "same way" as in, "we do things consistently."

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References – Reading ListGames People Play – Dr. Eric Berne

I am OK --- You are OK – Dr. Tom Harris

Born to Win – Dr. Dorothy Jongeward

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Welcome!

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Self Improvement

Training, Coaching and Mentoring