The Art + Science of the Rethink: 7 Steps to Expanding Possibility and Success at the Pursuit of Happiness

The Art + Science of the Rethink: 7 Steps to

Expand Your Possibilities +Succeed at Your Pursuit of Happiness

Tara-Nicholle Nelson, M.A., Esq.

Timeline

The Art + Science of the Rethink

“There’s no there there.”Gertrude Stein



Fast forward to happy.


• Being rich doesn’t make you happy.• Finding “the one” doesn’t make you happy.• Being “normal” “like everyone else” doesn’t

make you happy:

54% of US adults are "moderately mentally healthy yet not flourishing”


How can we fast forward to happy?


How to fast forward to happy:

• Move past perfect.• Stop fighting what is – respect what’s real

right now.• Lean into the fear, anxiety and grief of painful

circumstances.• Rethink failure as fodder.


What is happiness?


The Philosophers

Aristotle: Happiness = Virtuous Activity

eudemonia“eu” = well; “daimon” = divinity, spirit


The Philosophers

Oprah: Happiness = living your best life now

The Power of Evolution + Intuition


The Self-Experimenters

Benjamin Franklin: 13 VirtuesHenry David Thoreau: Walden Pond

Liz Gilbert: Eat, Pray, Love


The Academics

Sonya Lubomirsky, Ph.D.: Happiness = Formula

50% genetic 10% life circumstances+ 40% intentional activities Your Happiness


The Academics

Mikhail Csikszentmihalyi: Happiness = Flow

“. . .being completely involved in an activity for its own sake.. . . Your whole being is involved,

and you’re using your skills to the utmost.”


The Academics

Martin Seligman, Ph.D.: Happiness = Flow ++++

P – positive emotionE – engagement {flow}R – positive relationshipsM – meaningA – accomplishment


Tara on Happiness• Seligman left something out• Circumstances – can’t make us happy, but can

make us very unhappy• Happiness = PERMA + “The Rethink”– Flexibility around circumstances– Resilience– Ability to reinvent, transform on desire or on

demand– Mindset management



7 Steps


Belief . Language . Action

• Eckhart Tolle – 3 Options: Leave, Change or Accept situations – anything else is suffering.

• We want to, but can’t or don’t make situational or mindset changes we want.

• Rethink is the mise en place that optimizes our ability to make these changes.


Why do we need The Rethink?

Step One:

DiagnosticsIdentifying what’s not working.


Step Two:

Stabilization


Managing chaos and energy• Certainty anchors• Capture + complete• Decathexis

Step Three:

Getting Unstuck + Urgent

Momentum buildingCultivating traits of the unstuck


Steps Four + Five:

Belief RemodelingUnlearning

Creating new belief systems


“If I feel myself to be wronged, a loser or a victim, I will tell myself that some assumption I have made is the source of my difficulty.”

Benjamin Zander


Step Six:

Future FramingGenerative Language

Speech Acts


Step Seven:

Prosperity Practices

Practice makes perfect permanent.Skill-building


My house







Ready to Rethink?

Facebook/Twitter/LinkedIn: @taranicholle

email: [email protected]


Self Improvement

The Art + Science of the Rethink: 7 Steps to Expanding Possibility and Success at the Pursuit of Happiness