By Clinton Odumah

Of

Buildingthelife.com

Take it from someone who was oncedrowned in the feeling of apprehensionand awkwardness during socialencounters, or better still one with aP.HD in diffidence (being shy), there isnothing that gives you an upperhand than boldness. Althoughshyness is in-born, with practice it canbe eliminated. You probably feel likedissolving in class when asked aquestion (not because you don’t knowthe answer, but because you are notbold), or you feel like walking into theearth when you walk pass pretty ladiesor handsome guys as the case may be, oreven looking someone straight up andhaving a simple conversation seems tobe like an exam set by Einstein, then theword “shy” defines you. Well, it doesn’talways have to be like this, if I could beself-confident, I don’t see anyone whocan’t.

STEPS TO OVERCOME SHYNESS

Understand and accept the fact that you are shy.

Track the scenarios when this feeling envelops you.

Try to mix up with people.

Watch television shows and read books.

Dress smart.

Practice standing tall.

Learn to say “NO” at inappropriate times.

Understand and accept the fact that you are shy This is the first step to eliminating shyness.

Understand that you are painfully shy, and make it clear to yourself that you are shy and accept the fact. The more you try to resist it, the more it prevails. I know for a fact that you cannot resist what is in-born; but you can nurture it and learn to manage it at first, and then follow the next steps outlined.

Track the scenarios when this feeling envelops you It is important that you take note of the situations when

you get this feeling. Find out what situations trigger it. Track the root. Do you feel shy around pretty ladies, or in class, or even among relatives and friends. Knowing the various occasions when you would shiver even when the sun is up, when your body would vibrate profusely as if you just ran a marathon, or when your posture would change as though you were in a beauty pageant. Knowing these triggers will make you aware and prepared of what is to come. During the time of preparations, you could practice what to say and the answers to give to every question asked. This way you learn control over diffidence a little.

Challenge your thoughts About 70% of the reasons you are shy is because of the

negative ideas we allow into our minds. If you think; ‘No, I can’t talk with that man, his not my class’, or ‘no I can’t be in a meeting, where I have to sit in front’, and although you know for sure that talking to that man, or being in that meeting would most likely be of help to you, you still abstain from it because of your thoughts. Challenge negative thoughts and rewire your brain to think positively, if you are to develop self-confidence.

Try to mix up with people Of course, shy people are not the most social, so this

stage is often difficult for some. Like back then, I would send a friend of mine to help get a certain persons’ contact that I would like to commune with. I would often say whatever I want over the internet or via the phone and act as if I never knew the person the next day. Well, quite expected, as I continued with the conversation online, it gradually turned into a relationship, and transferred to a face to face dialogue. So, find what method works for you and mix up with people. This would give your self-confidence a huge boost.

Watch television shows and read books It is not a debate, shy people don’t know how to start a

conversation, maybe a few, but they can barely keep the conversation going, now that’s where television shows and books come to play. Television shows would give you interesting topics you could invite to your conversation and make you look cool. This way, there doesn’t need to be that odd 5-10 seconds of silence during the conversation. Reading books is also another way you could integrate great ideas and keep your conversation flowing.

Dress smart Like everyone knows, the way you dress, is the way

you’ll be addressed, and the way you are addressed gives you that sense of boldness or low self esteem. Always try your best to look smart and you’d just be surprised how high you’d raise your shoulders without having to shake.

Practice standing tall Just next to your dressing is your posture. We all know

walking with your head bowed down to the ground depicts shyness. This is why this issue should be noted. Practice walking upright with your head held up high. When you involuntarily bow your head, raise it up again, continue the process until you rise above it.

Learn to say “NO” at inappropriate times Of course this is another side effect of diffidence, in a

bid to end conversations quickly before your heart beats out of proportion you say yes to every request. I know it isn’t easy to overcome this, but you should practice it until you have full control. Once you have control over this, shyness is bound to run for the hills.

I hope this concrete insight helps you to overcome shyness as it also availed me.

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