Presented by: Faith Wood

www.faithwood.com

This presentation will examine the impact of loss, grief and mourning when one loses a co-worker.

Our co-workers are very much like an extended family. We spend most of our waking hours with them, forging special bonds of trust and friendship that are unlike our other relationships.

So it's not surprising that a co-worker's death can sometimes be particularly difficult to deal with, particularly if you were close to that person, or if the death was sudden and tragic.

Grief is an emotion that is not easy to talk about, neither is it easy to convey to others. Often grief over death is shadowed with our fears of not understanding death. We don't know all the answers as to why we die, or what happens to us when we die.

The grieving process takes time and healing usually happens gradually. There is no one ‘right way’ to grieve.

People who experience sudden death loss often have intense anger and have difficulty accepting the reality of their loss.

How we cope with a loss depends on many factors, from our personal beliefs to the presence of other stressors in our lives.

For some of us, thoughts of the deceased may make it hard to focus on our work for a short while.

In more extreme cases of stress, a co-worker's death may cause you to become tense and irritated, adding to what may already be a stressful work environment and creating new problems elsewhere in your life.

Long-term feelings of deep sadness can disrupt eating and sleeping patterns, robbing you of the energy necessary to move on with your life.

Those who attempt to "lose themselves" in their work risk burnout, a state of intense mental and physical exhaustion that can cause cardio-vascular and neurological problems. Others may become dependent on alcohol and prescription drugs to cope with their sadness.

Grief happens within the person while mourning happens externally

Everyone will feel different emotions and express them in a way that is uniquely their own.

Grief needs to be experienced, not repressed, for healing to ever take place.

The truth is, we never “get over” our grief. We only become reconciled to it.

One who expresses tears shows their willingness to work through their grief

1. Denial

2. Separation

3. Depression

4. Acceptance

1. Accept the Reality of the Loss

2. Work Through the Pain

3. Adjust to the New Environment in Which the Deceased is Missing

4. Emotionally Relocate the Deceased and Move On

I’m sorry for your loss

Is there anything you need?

What can I do?

If you want to talk, call me

I don’t know what to say,

but I’ll be glad to listen

I know how you feel

How are you doing?

Look on the bright side, It could have been much worse

Call me if there’s anything I can do to help

Shouldn’t you be over this by now?

It's probably for the best

Don't push those grieving to get it all out or express their grief.

Don't try to find a lesson in the event

Don't let your own discomfort keep you from helping, calling, or visiting!

Treat them normally

Just be there – Do not feel the need to say anything profound

I don’t know what to say, but I’ll be glad to listen (then do not interrupt)

Is there anything you need?

What can I do?

If you need to talk, call me

You are in my thoughts

If silence and tears are all we can muster, that is still preferable to staying away

Share your sense of humor. Laughter really is good medicine

Silence is golden -Hold a hand and give a hug (but get permission first)

Participate in Rituals (the funeral service)

Be with others (informal gatherings)

Talk about it when you can (share a funny story)

Express yourself (write in a journal, a poem or other tribute)

Exercise Eat right

Release your emotions - Cry (at commercials, songs or any other stimulus)

Create a tribute (plant a tree, charity run or walk, etc)

If you are having difficulty accepting a co-worker's death, a qualified mental health professional; a coach, counselor or psychologist can help you adjust to the loss. I would be happy to help.www.faithwood.com or info@imind.ca