COPING WITH PARENTHOOD

A guide to building strong parenting skills and training healthy, well rounded children.

By C.Duncan

INTRODUCTION

• How many of you want to be parents?

• Do you ever think of this ?

• Or Do u just see this ?

• And for those of you who have children…… how many of you have experienced these?

• If you are planning to have children or if you already have children the chances are you

could use a little help.

• If you are planning to have children then this evenings presentation should be the beginning of your learning process.

• And if you already have children then this should help put some rest back into your life as you will be better able to cope with your child or children.

OBJECTIVES To give parenting information on how children develop

To build the skills necessary for strong parenting

To foster creative thinking skills when dealing with difficult parenting situations ( conflict resolution.)

To evaluate where you are as a parent and where need to be

To create a network of support for families that will help to enhance the parenting experience.

GODS IDEALS

•Texts on child raring • Deuteronomy 6 :5- 9

• Psalms 127 :3-5

• Matt 18 :12-14

• Ephesians 6 : 1-4

• Hebrews 12: 5

• Proverbs 22: 6

• Proverbs 19 :18

• Proverbs 23 :13 -15

•E.G. Whites perspectives • “Parents are to guard their children with wise, pleasant

instruction . Be watchful lest temptations come to them at an age where they cannot recognise them . Teach them as you would, foster an intense interest in helping them on the kings high way of obedience.” Testimonies to church vol. 6 pg 93

• “Too many neglect their duty during the first years of the child thinking that when they get older they will repress the wrong doing …. A firm straight forward coarse of action is the only one to yield good results.” Child Guidance pg 194

• “The lessons learnt, the habits formed during the stages of infancy and childhood have more to do with the formation of character than those of the after years.” Ministry o healing pg 380

CHARACTERISTICS OF CHILDREN BY DEVELOPMENTAL STAGE

• Prenatal – observant

• Infants- reactive , predictive , alert and observant

• Toddlers - testy, defiant observant ,playful

• Children – independent , physically active , inquisitive ,concrete thinking

• Adolescents- emotional, frustrated , confused, identity driven , self searching

NEEDS

Infants • attention

•Structure

•Play

•Touch

Toddlers •Structure

•Good diet

•Play

•Teach with patients

explain

• Children

• Structure

• Discipline

• Support

• Ask questions

• Allow independence

• Teens

• Monitor

• Structure

• Ask questions

• Support

CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

Use I messages

Address the issue and not the person

Ask the why question to allow the child to think about the cause of their actions.

Set age appropriate punishments.

Be realistic

Say why the behaviour was not acceptable

Be consistent

Never deal with issues when you are angry

SOLUTIONS

• Piaget states that a cognitive development takes place in four stages :

Sensor motor – (18- 24 months) ,explores the world through their senses.

Pre operational (24 mths to 7 years) , begins to demonstrate expression with words , likes to pretend and play.

Concrete operational ( 7- 12) ,logical thinking , inquisitive , objects well and understands conversation

Formal operational (12 – adulthood) reasons on their own and thinks abstractly

• Read – this is a life long process if you are not sure look it up.

• Network –talk to other people you are not only experiencing difficulty

• Structure – plan, plan, plan !

• Spend time with child-a little time goes a long way

• Work together as parents – your child is not your wife's responsibility

• Most importantly Pray

CONCLUSIONS

•Questions ?• WHAT ARE SOME THINGS YOU CAN DO TO

BETTER YOUR PARENTING SKILLS?

• IS THERE ANYONE YOU CALL TO GIVE YOU PARENTING ADVICE?

• HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH YOUR PARENTAL FRUSTRATIONS?