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One upon a time on a balmy Summer weekend in post-war
Britain, little Andrew was playing in the garden while his father
was perusing his pay-packet from the local mill. In trying to
interact with his father he posed a simple question:
What are
girls really
like, Papa?
Well son, I’m glad
you asked me that
because I think it’s
about time we had
this chat.
According to
traditional nursery
rhymes, published
circa 1820, “little
girls are made of
sugar and spice and
all things nice”.
On that same day, just a few houses away, Andrew’s best
friend’s sister Geraldine, was also playing in her garden, with
her attentive mother and new puppy Ziggy. She too posed a
similar question: What are
boys really
like,
Mummy? *
* NB: Sex Education had just been added to the school curriculum and the children had been
asked to investigate the subject for Homework.
Well darling, it’s
well known that
“little boys are
made of slugs and
snails and puppy
dog’s tails”. But
don’t let your twin
brother George
know this, he needs
to find the answer
himself and he’s
happy playing with
his toys at the
moment !
George was confused about the Sex Education Homework
question and would ask Andrew what he thought later. Why
was all this sissy stuff necessary anyway?
He was a boy, for goodness sake - one day he’d be a Train
Driver, or in the Merchant Navy, or even an Air Steward!
NB: This story took place a few years after Burt Bacharach & Hal David produced the definitive
‘Trains & Boats & Planes’ song that reached it’s peak at Number 4 in the Hit Parade of 1965!
Maybe it struck a chord in George’s subconscious mind?!
George was, indeed, upstairs in his bedroom, trying to decide
which indoor toy to play with. He felt slightly annoyed that after
he had kicked Andrew’s ball into the river a few days ago, and
it had floated out of reach, that he was banished indoors.
Surely this wasn’t what ‘penalty’ meant?!
I’m BORED!
Why is it
always MY
fault?!
Later that day, Geraldine was out playing with Andrew’s friend
Emma in the park, while George was still kept indoors. She
whispered carelessly ...
I asked my
mum about
that homework
question and
apparently boys
are made of
slugs and snails
and puppy
dog’s tails!
And Andrew asked his dad
who said that we’re made
of sugar and spice and all
things nice! Hahaha!!
I really, really, REALLY,
want to go and play on
the swings now ...
So, while Emma enjoyed her afternoon on the swings,
Geraldine did what she liked doing best ......
I really, really, REALLY,
want to play with
ZiggyZig .... Aaah!!
NB: This story took place many, many, many, years before Geraldine and Emma met up again, with their
three friends, the two Melanies and Victoria (who lived on the posh side of town!).
Meanwhile George was still banished to his bedroom. He
became so bored that he even began ballroom dancing with
an imaginary partner. At this age it’s dangerous to leave boys
locked up by themselves for long periods, they begin thinking!
I wonder
what girls
really ARE
like?
I wonder
what it
would be
like to BE a
girl?!
He knew that Geraldine was in the park and mum was out
shopping, but he called downstairs to double-check that no
one else was home, just in case.
It was easy to find something to try on in Geri’s bedroom, and
he also knew she had a play wig too.
Why not go the whole hog?! After all, it WAS homework
research!
He felt guilty and knew it didn’t seem ‘normal’ to rifle through
his mum and sister’s wardrobes, but he also knew that there
was no going back now. He made a mental note of where
everything was placed and facing on the rail and how
everything was positioned – which buttons were done up, how
far the zips were open.... and then he saw THE RED COAT!
Boy, I feel
like a girl! *
* NB: This story also took place many years before a Canadian country-girl penned her 1997 celebration of
womanhood! In an interview for Billboard, Shania Twain explained her song's meaning:
“That song started with the title, then it kind of wrote itself. The whole expression is a celebration of being a
woman these days, I think we're kind of spoiled in a lot of ways, with the advantages we have. Feminists may
not feel that way, but I do. It's pretty darn fun to be a woman. A lot of the stuff I do has such a feminine, female
perspective, but a powerful one. It's not only girl power.”
His heart was pounding like the wheels of the train he’d seen the week
before. But what was amazing was that when he tried on the red coat, he
felt calm and relaxed, even though all his senses were racing! He didn’t
worry about losing Andrew’s ball, or being the fastest runner in the school!
But what he didn’t hear was his mother’s car on the drive or her footsteps
up the stairs! It was too late to make it back to his own room!
Nor did he comprehend what she said next!
Hello Geor, er
Geri, I thought
you were in the
park with
Emma?
That coat suits
you – it’s a lot
better on you
than it looked
on Andrew last
week!
WHAT?!!!
She knows!
NB: Mums ALWAYS know best!
The following week, the boys reverted to type.
I thought you’d
lost the ball?! I
spent days
locked indoors
because of that!
I thought it was
gone too, but dad
fished it out of
the mill-pond on
his lunch break.
I LOVE
these open-
toe sandals! At least it
gave me a
chance to
try on
Geri’s
clothes!
* “To open Pandora's box" means to perform an action that may seem small or innocent, but that turns out
to have severely detrimental and far-reaching consequences (Source: Wikipedia).
But George had opened Pandora’s Box* and wanted more ...
Geri, could I
borrow your red
coat please? I still
have more
research to do for
my homework.
Sorry George, Andrew
asked me for it
yesterday, so you’ll have
to get it back from him!
But you can
borrow something
else if you really,
really, really, want
to. As long as you
look after it!!
George could not believe his ears!
She knows
too?!
Maybe girls
ARE ‘all
things nice’?!
Why didn’t you
tell me you’d
borrowed Geri’s
coat for
‘Homework
Research’?
I only tell people
on a ‘need to
know’ basis, and
didn’t feel I
could trust you
back then.
By the way, your
family’s special.
Do you know
that?
His mother really WAS special!
Hi Georgina, yes
darling, you look
lovely!
Now get upstairs, wash
all that makeup off
your face, and finish
your homework!
Andrew’s coming
round in an hour,
you’ve got swimming
practice in The
Tropicana, and
afterwards you two can
use the garage for your
jamming session for
your new band - dad’s
just finished the sound-
proofing!!
Wham!
She knows
how to hit me
right between
the eyes!
And so was his sister!
When did
you suspect
anything was
different?
Surely it’s not
‘normal’ for
me to want to
try on your
clothes?
Oh George, I’ve
known for ages! And
it’s no big deal,
honest! I wear
trousers, don’t I?
You’re a great
brother and friend,
and I know you’ll
always be there for
me, the same way
we’ll always be here
for you. We’ll just
have to get used to
calling you
Georgina every so
often! And quite
frankly, who gives a
shit about being
‘normal’ anyway?
And that was the first time he’d heard his sister swear!
Maybe little girls were just like little boys after all?!
And they all lived very happily ever after!
Children seek guidance and a moral code from their parents,
immediate family and friends – be that beacon for them.
Issues are only issues if you make them so.
Address others with a respectful, open mind and they will
reveal their true authenticity in their own time and way (if they
feel comfortable in doing so).
“never trust a
man who, left
alone in a
room with a
tea cozy,
doesn’t try
it on.”
Billy connolly
“never trust a
man who says he
doesn’t try on his
partner’s clothes
when she’s not
around.”
“it’s only men
wanting to try
on dresses.
it’s not brain
surgery,
nobody dies!”
“friendship is
born at that
moment when
one person says
to another
“what? you too?
I thought I was
the only one”. “
c. s. lewis
“i will dare
to just do
what I do,
be just what I am,
and dance
whenever I want
to.”
leonardo
“you’re not here
for long – why
not have a little
fun along the
way?!”
