How to Be a Role Model for Girls

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Together we can encourage the next generation of female leaders.

Girls often look to the women in their lives for cues about how to think and act. When we speak confidently, take risks, and own our accomplishments, we set positive examples for girls to follow. There are countless opportunities every day to help girls gain the confidence and skills they need to lean in and take the lead.

Special thanks to Rachel Simmons and the team at Girls Leadership for their expert insights on empowering girls.

TIPS FOR WOMEN:HOW TO BE A ROLE MODEL FOR GIRLS

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Boys often get moreairtime in class than

girls—they are more likely to call out answers and

less likely to be interrupted.1


1SITUATION

Girls can undermine themselves when they speak. Many girls use phrases like “kind of” and “sort of” to weaken their statements. Some introduce opinions with disclaimers or use upspeak so their statements sound like questions. These verbal crutches hinder a girl’s ability to share her ideas clearly and confidently—a habit that often carries over into adulthood.

Speak with confidence so girls hear what it sounds like. Avoid hedging your opinions with disclaimers or apologies. If you observe a girl falling into these same habits, explain how it undermines the point she’s trying to make. Remind her it’s not just what you say that matters, it’s how you say it, too.

SOLUTION

1 COACH GIRLS TO SPEAK CONFIDENTLY


Girls are often taught to suppress their feelings in order to get along with

others.2

#LeanInTogether | LeanIn.Org/Together 22 TEACH TO GIRLS TO NAVIGATE CONFLICT

SITUATION

Girls are often taught to suppress their feelings in order to get along with others.3 As a result, they do not learn to speak openly

and manage conflict. Fast-forward to adulthood: too often

women avoid giving each other honest input to avoid being seen

as unkind or fall into the trap of personalizing constructive input we receive.

Model honest, direct communication for the girls in your life.

Encourage girls to speak their mind and avoid social shortcuts like

texting and social media. Explain that conflict is an inevitable part

of relationships—it’s the way we handle it that matters.

SOLUTION


Between elementary school and high school, girls’ self-

esteem drops 3.5 timesmore than boys’.4


SITUATION

SOLUTION 33 ENCOURAGE GIRLS TO OWN THEIR SUCCESS

Girls are often underestimated by others—and underestimate

themselves—which erodes their confidence. When girls are complimented on their achievements, they also tend to deflect praise

or minimize their accomplishments,5 yet internalizing success is an

important part of building self-confidence.

Model owning your accomplishments for the girls in your life. When

girls see that it is okay to own their success, they will feel more

comfortable doing it themselves. Moreover, look for opportunities to celebrate girls’ success and acknowledge their strengths, and push

back if they fall into the trap of sidestepping praise.


Women often wait to apply for a job until they

meet 100 percent of hiring criteria, while men apply when they meet

just 60 percent.6


SOLUTION 44 INSPIRE GIRLS TO GO FOR IT

SITUATION

Because girls often struggle with confidence and fear making

mistakes, they are less likely to take risks. Some girls don’t speak up in class unless they’re 100 percent sure they have the right answer,

while others shy away from trying new subjects or activities. This

same reluctance also holds women back. Compared to our male

counterparts, we can be less likely to take on high-profile projects or lobby for more senior positions.

Model taking healthy risks and talk about the times you’ve stepped out of your comfort zone. When you hear girls say they’re “not ready”

or “can’t do it,” gently push back. Make sure girls know that being

brave is rarely about dramatic moments: it’s a skill acquired, little by

little, over time.


When girls participate in extracurricular activities, they gain leadership skills

that stay with them for life.7


SOLUTION 55 CELEBRATE FEMALE LEADERSHIP

We expect girls to be kind and communal, so when they speak their mind or take the lead, they often face pushback. As a result,

girls often worry they’ll make people mad or be laughed at if they

assume a leadership position.8 It’s no wonder that by middle

school, girls are less interested in leading than boys—a trend that continues into adulthood.9

If you hear a girl being criticized for asserting herself or referred to

as “bossy” or “aggressive,” step in and explain she should be

applauded, not chided, for her leadership skills. Finally, make sure

girls understand the benefits of being a leader, like having a voice and making things happen.

SITUATION


Women accomplish amazing things when we encourage and support each other. Celebrate the women who #LeanInTogether with you.

Learn more at leanin.org/together

LET’S #LEANINTOGETHER


ENDNOTES

1 Myra Sadker and David M. Sadker, Failing at Fairness: How America’s Schools Cheat Girls (New York: Scribner, 1994); AAUW, How Schools Shortchange Girls (1992).

2 Girls, Inc., The Supergirl Dilemma: Girls Grapple with the Mounting Pressure of Expectations (2006). http://www.girlsinc-monroe.org/styles/girlsinc/defiles/TheSupergirl Dilemma--Summary Findings--low res.pdf.

3 Ibid.

4 AAUW, Shortchanging Girls, Shortchanging America (1991).

5 Girls Inc., The Supergirl Dilemma 6 Georges Desvaux, Sandrine Devillard-Hoellinger, and Mary C. Meaney, “A Business Case for Women,” The McKinsey

Quarterly, September 2008, http://www.womenscolleges.org/files/pdfs/BusinessCaseforWomen.pdf

7 Girl Scout Research Institute, Change It Up: What Girls Say About Redefining Leadership (2008). http://www.girlscouts.org/content/dam/girlscouts-gsusa/forms-and-documents/about-girl-scouts/research/change_it_up_executive_summary_english.pdf

8 Ibid.

9 Deborah Marlino and Fiona Wilson, Teen Girls on Business: Are They Being Empowered?, The Committee of 200, Simmons College School of Management (April 2003), http://www.simmons.edu/som/docs/centers/TGOB_report_full.pdf; Jennifer L. Lawless and Richard L. Fox, Men Rule: The Continued Under-Representation of Women in U.S. Politics, Women & Politics Institute, American University School of Public Affairs (January 2012), http://www.american.edu/spa/wpi/upload/2012-Men-Rule-Report-final-web.pdf; LeanIn.Org and McKinsey & Company, Women in the Workplace (2015). http://womenintheworkplace.com.

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How to Be a Role Model for Girls