It is wise to know how to stay with depression-know the steps of MANAGEMENT

Dr Rupa Talukdar, chief Executive Counsellor Of Mind’s Eye

www.mind-eye.in/wwwcalcuttayellowpages.com/adver/110802

Depression is like a war, you either win or die trying

Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning how to dance in the rain

Worthless, pointless, useless ,pathetic and depressed-that is me.

Body becomes squeezed and bent forward- totally loosened depending on the degree of depression; typical gesture head down and rest on the folded knee. In the morning before leaving the bed the person sits on the bed being hopeless and nothingness; no enthusiasms has been found in his eyes/motion rather he becomes motionless –in any case head is always down-this is the first symptoms of depression-head seems to be weighty to the depressed soul-they try to find any kind of resting place for it: shoulder of friends, own knee or if not anything is there, it is jutted forward with a downward leaning.

It is not usual that you will be always in happy emotionthroughout your life; if a person expects so s/he will beimmediately advised to come out from this way of thinkingbecause it has no justification; look out in the nature-if there isbirth, there is death also-if birth brings happiness, death obviouslybrings sorrow-if sunrise exists sunsets must be there-it’s simply acalculation- happiness is so attractive only because the other partof it is depression-so people needs not to be very serious of it-rather they should know how to stay when there is depression

Irrespective of nature of human being depression happens to bethere in emotion –it does not depends whether you expect or not-itis a cyclic process-like seasonal change of climate-if summerrepresents happiness, winter represents depression in countrywhere cold persists in most of months in a year. In our land(India) winter represents the joy of the life-it is the festival,summer/rainy day is for usual way of living: continuous work,study and sometimes expanded existence of any season directs anemotion towards depression.

If you failed in doing something, cannot succeed/crack exam orface some unexpected heart breaking result either you becamedepressed or felt something unusual which is not likedepression: you can take it as challenge or may become morepowerful for the next attempt, start working hard for achievingexpected outcome being more confident and determined. One’sdepression is other’s way to reach the goal being more orientedtowards the target. No’ sounds differently:

No = negative, brings hopelessness

No = makes some one more oriented

No = in disguise ‘yes’-it’s a courtesy

No = danger= makes people cautious

So, it’s not the event, it’s the personality, which makes youdepressed, so it is essential to know your nature-that willhelp you lifelong to step out in outer world.

to spot the depression s/he can able to find it in a happiest person of the world also- because it is natural- no one is above the feelings of depression at least once in his/her life. So it is wise not to be worried about it, rather,

Spot the cause of it

Analyses it

Try to tackle the source of depression

Know the techniques how to manage the depression

Once you know the causes , try to either fight with it or stay along with it as it is the inevitable part of your nature being attentive to other part of your life step by step

If they are the perpetrator, what to do-nothing! But only due to this no one can ruin him/herself, depressive emotion needs regular life coaching on how to lead an assertive way of living.

If family members find it early in any child during boyhood s/he must make alert call to the well wishers (parents/teacher/close members of family/siblings) of the child - early detection always develops better coping skill in the child.

The symptoms of depression in children vary. It is oftenundiagnosed and untreated because they are passed off asnormal emotional and psychological changes that occurduring growth. Early medical studies focused on "masked"depression, where a child's depressed mood was evidencedby acting out or angry behavior. While this does occur,particularly in younger children, many children displaysadness or low mood similar to adults who are depressed.Parents are the first vigilant for spotting the signs that mayindicate that their child is at risk only because ofdepression

Irritability or anger

Continuous feelings of sadness and hopelessness

Social withdrawal

Increased sensitivity to rejection

Changes in appetite -- either increased or decreased

Changes in sleep -- sleeplessness or excessive sleep (“insomnia” or “hypersomnia”)

Vocal outbursts or crying

Difficulty concentrating

Fatigue and low energy

Physical complaints (such as stomachaches, headaches) that don't respond to treatment

Reduced ability to function during events and activities at home or with friends, in school, extracurricular activities, and in other hobbies or interests

Feelings of worthlessness or guilt

Impaired thinking or concentration

Increased acting-out of undesirable behaviors (sexual/behavioral)

Increased risk-taking behaviors

Frequent accidents

Substance abuse

Focus on morbid and negative themes

Talk about death and dying

Increased crying or reduced emotional expression

Giving away possessions

Treatment options for children with depression are similar to those for adults, including psychotherapy(counseling) and medication. The role that family and the child's environment play in the treatment process is different from that of adults. Child’s doctor may suggest psychotherapy first, and consider antidepressant medicine as an additional option if there is no significant improvement. The best studies to date indicate that a combination of psychotherapy and medication is most effective at treating depression.Other medications may be chosen if there are other coexisting illnesses contributing to the depression.

Teach kids problem-solving skills from a veryearly age. If your child has developed problemsolving skills but lost access to them becausethey are depressed periodically, you have tohelp them regain access to those skills. Here aresome suggestions for ways to help you coachyour child through it.

When you ask a teen or pre-teen, “What are your copingskills,” if he can say, “Oh, I go to my room. I listen to somemusic, I count to ten,” that’s good because he understands thatcoping is a skill, not an art or magic. And once you teach kidsbehavior is a skill, the next step is to get them to identifyproblems and develop the behavioral tools to deal with them.And so it becomes, “You’re feeling sad, you’re feelingdepressed, what can we do about that problem? What wouldyou find helpful?” It gives you a place to stand where you canboth begin talking about how to solve the problem of feelingsad.

When you ask a teen or pre-teen, “What are your copingskills,” if he can say, “Oh, I go to my room. I listen tosome music, I count to ten,” that’s good because heunderstands that coping is a skill, not an art or magic.And once you teach kids that behavior is skill, the nextstep is to get them to identify problems and develop thebehavioral tools to deal with them. And so it becomes,“You’re feeling sad, you’re feeling depressed, what canwe do about that problem? What would you findhelpful?” It gives you a place to stand where you canboth begin talking about how to solve the problem offeeling sad.

When people are depressed, kids as well as adults, they stillhave to meet their responsibilities. Again, I’m not talking aboutkids who are so clinically depressed they’re immobilized. Foreveryone else, one of the most important treatments fordepression is to get the person up off their butt to do thedishes, make the bed, and take a shower. It doesn’t have to bedone in a harsh manner, but you should be firm. If your childcan’t handle a complex task, give them simple ones, but keepthem busy. Depressed people should not be allowed to lie inbed under the covers, because it just makes the situation worse.

As far as responsibilities go, I don’t think a lot ofspecial consideration should be given to kids who areepisodically depressed. Rather, maintain the sameexpectations. They will probably need more support toperform at the same level. Know that you have to givethem more opportunities to regroup. Be moreavailable to them when they start feelingoverwhelmed, but don’t let them avoid theirresponsibilities. You can say, “We understand you’redown, but you still have to do your homework.” Youmay want to ease them into tasks by having them dothe dishes with you in the kitchen, do their homeworkwhile you work nearby, or go to the store with you.Again, get them out and moving about. Remember, agood parenting style for kids who are depressed islike a coaching style. Coach your child to learn newskills. During a time of episodic depression in yourchild’s life, I would recommend that you use morecoaching and less limit setting

Children who are depressed often exhibit distractibility andimpaired concentration, so it’s important to get them in a soothingenvironment. Don’t try to have a talk with them abouttheir behavior or about their coping skills when a lot of otherdistractions are present. In a school setting, if you’re in a specialeducation class where there’s a lot of noise in the classroom, anupset child will not be able to engage in a conversation in a waythat’s helpful. That’s why many schools have a “quiet room” wherekids can go to calm down. Once that happens, the adult in charge cantalk with them about whether or not they’re angry, whether or notthey’re depressed, what the problem is and how they can solve it. Thesame goes for kids at home. If possible, take your child into a roomwhere there are no distractions and let them calm down beforeopening a conversation about why they’re upset. And let your childknow that you’re willing to listen to them and talk with them aboutwhat’s making them sad. You can say, “We won’t force you to talk ifyou don’t want to, but we’re here.”

We all go through moods, adolescents especially, andparents have to be understanding of that. The idea hereis, “Yes, we tolerate moods, but you still have to doyour homework.” You can say, “All right, so you can bemoody, you can feel irritable, you can be down, youcan be sad. We’ll talk with you about it if you want to,but you’ve got to get your homework done eitherway.” You can also do a bit more coaching with moodykids around this. Try saying, “Hey, you seemed okayyesterday, what happened? Did something happen inschool?” You can probe it a little bit more, but don’t letyour child avoid responsibilities through these moodstates.

Let your child know that we all have periods offeeling down, that problems can seem overwhelmingto everyone at times. Feelings of sadness are a part ofdepression, but they’re also very human. Evenintense feelings of sadness can be experiencedwithout it being considered unhealthy or abnormal.And for most kids, the depression they go throughis a period of sadness, a period of being down; atime when something’s going wrong and they don’tknow what to do about it. Parents can talk thatthrough with their kids. And they can use theteaching style and a coaching style to help themmanage those feelings and learn more skills.

When a person has depression s/he develops some psychosomatic symptoms:

Sleep problems

Chest pain

Fatigue and exhaustion

Muscle aches and joint pain

Digestive problem

Headaches

Changes in appetite and weight gain

Back pain

Agitation and restlessness

Sexual problem

Tackle manageable problems

Set solution-oriented goals.

Keep track of your progress in a journal.

Express yourself:

Don’t spend too much time alone.

Writing, dancing and visual art and other types of art

Don’t afraid to express

Nourish your spiritual side

Try meditation

Spends extra time outside

If it is either too hot or too cold to stay outside, let the nature come inside by either organize your curtain and light of room inside or natural light flood your house.

During the darker winter months or cloudy rainy seasons light therapy products can help replace the sun’s rays.

Stay busy

Make a list of the chores

Take responsibilities

Exercise everyday

Eat food with antidepressant properties

Try supplements.

Green Tea.

Cut alcohol and drugs.

See a Therapist.